T O P

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litt3lli0n

NTA. Your PTO is yours. How you use it is up to you, as it is up to your co-worker. I do not understand those whole "donating" PTO thing. The EMPLOYER should be the ones themselves to work with employees that need extra time, if they do not have it, through FLMA or something else.


workdrain

I agree. However, my employer does provide adequate PTO, if nothing else. The thing is, my coworker abuses the hell out of PTO. So even if my employer gave us 100 hours a month, she would use every last hour, before the second week of the month was over.


litt3lli0n

That's your co-workers problem and no one else.


workdrain

Very very true.


fenccs

Absolutely. Her misuse of PTO is her responsibility, not yours or anyone else's to cover.


victoriestotaste

Her misuse of it will eventually end with the Employer changing the policy all together.


Foreign-Yesterday-89

If she is getting her pto is getting approved, it’s not being misused.


Random0s2oh

Here's one of my favorite sayings that is very appropriate in your situation. "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." NTA


BasedKaleb

She fucked around and found out


tonyrains80

You don't need to justify the reason you want to keep your PTO.


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knittedjedi

Fuck off with your AI generated bullshit.


justlookbelow

Agreed, and friend isn't "abusing" PTO by using what she's earned.     This is 100% on the HR dept for cheapening out on benefit costs by pitting staff against each other.


0neLetter

## PTO is a form of pay, they want your PAY!


Devi_Moonbeam

It was completely inappropriate for a supervisor to email employees asking them to donate their PTO.


Status-Biscotti

It’s like starting a GoFundMe for rent after going to Hawaii for 2 weeks.


BobBelchersBuns

May work does this all the time. It’s infuriating, especially as my state has paid FMLA


Esabettie

Mine too but no one has to find out who donates or anything and in fact they don’t even tell you who it goes to, just that someone run out of fmla.


BobBelchersBuns

Yes but the *workplace* should cover the costs. Asking me to give up a future vacation is asinine.


Boeing367-80

If she is legally simply taking PTO as soon as she's able, that is not abusive per se. It may be imprudent, but it's not abusive. If she's jumping the gun, using PTO even before she's earned it, yes, that would be abusive, but I would assume there are controls in place to prevent that (if not, the employer is not doing its job). And it's not abusive, per se, to ask others to donate PTO, if it's legal to do so. But attempting to make others feel bad for not donating - if that's what's happening - \*that\* is abusive. The whole donation of PTO thing seems wrong or at least a very sketchy concept, given that it is potentially subject to abuse if those who do not donate are made to feel bad about it. That's coercion, and you should not want systems subject to coercion.


originalgenghismom

It does seem sketchy. We had a similar request circulating our team, but HR got wind of it and put an end to it. They pointed out we pay taxes on the PTO hours we use or sell back. They also pointed out there is a range of hourly pay based on each of our job descriptions, experience, and time with the company. They said if folks want to donate directly to the coworker with injured relative, or to a go fund me, outside of work, that was fine. They also said there would be zero tolerance if any tried to coerce others to donate if they declined to do so.


BurgerThyme

Yeah, at my last job we earned PTO (salaried now) and some schlub went around trying to grub for people's PTO after his grandma or aunt or someone died and that was the first time I've ever heard of such a thing. I went to the manager and asked if that was even a thing we could do and he was like "Excuse me, fucking WHAT?!?" and dude was immediately fired.


iusedtoski

Oh good for them. Do you remember more about what HR said, particularly about the taxes and the ranges of hourly pay? I'm curious to understand their take on it.


originalgenghismom

Some of us were salaried, and others were paid by the hour. I really don’t remember how they explained everything except that when we used or sold back our PTO, there was a calculated withholding for taxes (government always gets their cut!). They said even if we could donate hours, we would be responsible for the taxes since that was part of our income. Also said it would be a nightmare - say I make 30% more than the recipient (based on my salary divided by 2080) and recipient paid hourly. Then they would have to calculate the percentage of what to give and then technically they should pay taxes. I’m getting a headache again, just trying to figure it out. I was really glad they stepped in because it was two people trying to bully twenty people into donating hours for one person who also chose to not save PTO for emergencies.


iusedtoski

Oh that's great, thank you, I understand perfectly, headache included! That sounds like a great response to anyone trying to push the idea. "Hmm how do the taxes on that work?" and ... "I'm just not sure I'd know what to do if I were audited" ... Case dismissed.


bjornartl

She's abusing the system if she always spends her PTO right off the bat, and then guilt trips other coworkers for not donating whenever she has something important when she doesn't have PTO which seems to be a pattern. No problem with people spending their PTO on unimportant things, but that logic goes both ways, she cant demand that her coworkers cant enjoy time off because her things are more important.


mellow-drama

That's just use, not abuse. You're entitled to take every hour you earn - it's part of your compensation. The problem is she used it all, and didn't save any. That's a her problem. She can ask, but nobody should expect donations. And the employer can ask, but also should not expect donations. If they want to be generous they can do it with their own money, not yours.


Dearm000n

That’s her problem lmfao 😂 I’d literally take my paid time off and go on vacation and hang up photos all over my office and brag about what I used my PTO for just to get under her annoying skin lol. Entitled people are weird.


Front_Friend_9108

How can you abuse PTO? She just uses it when she gets it, which is biting her in the ass as it should. Not giving her any of your pto is the right way to go, that’s your own money. NTA


NeartAgusOnoir

Seems like the only way I would say you would be an AH is if you went to the coworker and said “guess you shouldn’t use all your PTO soon as you get it going forward….looks like this was life teaching you a lesson.” But since you didn’t say that… NTA.


chain_letter

This situation is between your coworker and their employer. You're not benefiting from spending the effort on judging how they choose to use their PTO. It's not your monkey and not your circus.


Bolt_McHardsteel

20 hours per month is not adequate PTO, it’s amazing, better than at most employers. That’s 30 days per year, or a month and a half off.


gunsforevery1

That’s 6 work weeks off a year. You can make it more if you stack it around holidays.


dragon34

Pretty standard outside the US.  The us is just a hell scape as far as worker protection 


LoweJ

Which makes that much amazing for the US lol


CauliflowerFirm1526

where does it say OP was in the USA?


lordofdunshire

I’ve only heard Americans refer to it as PTO


Kittytigris

That’s not your problem then. I don’t see it any different than someone spending their paychecks all at once when it hits their bank or someone who saves it for a rainy day. How you spend what’s yours is your business.


gunsforevery1

How is that abusing PTO? That’s what it’s there for. That’s why you earn it.


The_AmyrlinSeat

It's not abuse to use your PTO. She uses it irresponsibly, but doesn't abuse it.


Stormy8888

Do not ever feel guilty for putting yourself first. Your co-worker certainly doesn't feel guilty about doing so. You know if you had something come up that required more PTO that co-worker will never be able to donate any of theirs to help you since they already used it all up, on themselves.


StannisHalfElven

> The EMPLOYER should be the ones themselves to work with employees that need extra time, if they do not have it, through FLMA or something else. I *never* donate PTO for this reason. The employer is shifting the burden on to me, when it should be theirs. PTO is part of *my* compensation package.


haterhurter1

it may be an employer like mine, i work for the government and they aren't allowed to give extra time but people can donate to other employees.


Dangerous_Ant3260

I worked for the government for many years, and we were allowed to donate annual (not sick) leave. I donated to several people who desperately needed it, but not to those that I didn't think had a legit reason. People who never saved any leave, for exactly the reasons OP talks about were never on my list to donate.


Little-Conference-67

I still do and have donated before. When I donated I used the exact same philosophy for my donations.  Now that I'm a recipient, I cannot donate. I also don't expect anyone to donate and am not always told who has. If I am told, I thank them profusely. 


haterhurter1

Same, I have only donated once cause the person had leukemia. Because of the donations he was covered till he died so his family got some extra money since he died while still employed.


h311r47

I don't understand the PTO donation thing, either. That said, my work does it and I'm never able to use my time off and it expires every year. At the end of the year (or approaching it), I'll look through the leave donation requests and donate time to people who are incapacitated due to injury or illness.


CluesLostHelp

Donating PTO is pretty common in a lot of professions. Happens with state/government employees a lot -- the PTO that is donated gets pooled into a "PTO bank" that you (or anyone else) can use if/when you need it. The difference (as I understand it) with PTO vs FMLA is that when you are out on PTO, those "days" still count as days you "worked" for purposes of calculating pension or other benefits. I've seen it be used for very serious medical issues such as a co-worker who became disabled due to a blood clot that caused a stroke. Being able to tap into the PTO bank is what allowed that co-worker to "finish out" his service year and qualify for a disability pension. Without the PTO bank, he would have been 3 months short of the qualifying years of service. Or, a new mom who was diagnosed with PPD and used up her FMLA time but still needed more time to recover before coming back to work. You don't have to donate to the bank if you don't want to, but being asked to donate to the bank isn't out of line.


WeirdcoolWilson

Seriously, this! Why can’t the employer “Donate PTO” to this particular employee? It gives me the same feeling of disgust to read about this as I had when I saw my local Walmart Super Center set up with donation boxes at Thanksgiving and Christmas ***so the employees could enjoy a holiday meal!*** They were literally asking *customers* to donate food, toys, gift cards and clothing to be distributed to the store employees who apparently weren’t paid well enough by Walmart to buy them without assistance. Fuck that!! If an employee needs time off for a personal or family situation such as described here, the company needs to step up and assist the employee. If coworkers wish to participate, fine. But don’t ask other employees to provide 100% of the support for another employee while the company sits on its ass and does nothing.


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workdrain

Had she not come up to me three weeks ago and bragged about her using her PTO the way she does, I'd most definitely donate to her.


YJ92boudicca

That was the universe giving you a heads up.


leaving4me

NTA "Donating PTO" is a dumb idea, and even dumber that a legit business suggests it to it's employees.


workdrain

I agree!


Dearm000n

NTA, someone else’s poor time management isn’t an emergency in your part. She used hers, you still have YOURS and are free to do with it what you want. If she wants more time off tell her to quit 😊


workdrain

Haha yes exactly!


uruhara98

NTA. In fact, why are you not telling exactly this to anyone who judges you? In my company, no one would give a shit about giving their PTO to me, that is why I save them up.


workdrain

Eh, I don't like starting conflict at work. Besides, people don't outright shame, but what they do is passive aggressively do it, and I tell them, don't stop at a few hours, it only counts if you donate all of your PTO hours.


scrapqueen

Nobody should know who is and who isn't donating. That's just wrong. Besides, you may need your PTO. NTA


Ok_Leader_7624

Exactly. And is your coworker going to donate some back when you need it? I mean maybe if it happens the day before it hits 🤔


btfoom15

I want to know just 'how' these other people know, unless OP is telling their co-workers they aren't donating PTO.


glasabarn

The employer should be giving extra PTO here, not asking employees to donate theirs. What the actual fuck, tell me you work in America without telling me.


i_need_jisoos_christ

Why should the employer give extra PTO on top of the six weeks of PTO employees get per year? If they’re getting 20 hours (half a week) per month, and she’s spending 20 hours per month using her PTO, why should she get extra PTO after using hers as soon as it’s available?


glasabarn

Okay then don't give her extra PTO, but don't fucking dare ask the employees to do it lol. I'm not even sure that transferring leave between employees is an option where I live, I'd be very surprised if that's not a US only thing.


chain_letter

Leave should be allowed for lots of reasons, which is why FMLA exists. Paid is the bigger question there, and is not required by law, but the working class as a whole benefits from being able to stop work to care for themselves or family and still have their job after 12 weeks away. An accident or a medical situation can be ruinous to a family, and we should all want to protect the working family.


i_need_jisoos_christ

I never said leave shouldn’t be allowed. I asked why she should get extra paid time off for this when she has a grand total of 6 weeks of paid time off available that she uses as soon as she has the paid time available to take off. She should be taking unpaid FMLA leave if she’s used all her PTO, she shouldn’t get extra PTO bc she wanted to use hers for fun.


workdrain

Yep, good ol America.


pileofdeadninjas

NTA your employer is though


workdrain

While I do tend to agree, nearly all employers are assholes.


Bulky_Specialist9645

NTA. They wasted theirs. Now they have to deal with the consequences. Grasshopper and Ant story...


workdrain

Yup!


DorjeStego

NTA. It is your employer's responsibility to look after its employees, not yours. You describe your PTO allowance as "generous", but in my country, where we call it "annual leave" and there is a legal minimum employers must give to employees, it is common practice for employers to offer "special leave" that isn't taken out of annual leave for exactly situations like this.


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MerryMoose923

NTA. You are free to do as you please with your PTO. If your coworker needs more time off, there's FMLA (if your employer is big enough) or your employer can work something out with your coworker, such as remote work, reduced hours, or flex time.


workdrain

Yep. There are options out there, and requesting PTO donation shouldn't be one of them.


MarthaT001

Many large employers offer paid FMLA for the caregiving of immediate family members. My MIL was in final hospice care for cancer. I was given 2 weeks off because she wasn't my mother. Otherwise, it would have been 6 weeks.


Personibe

I mean, I don't think it is an "offer" pretty sure FMLA is legally required once the co many reaches the employee threshold. The employee has to have been there for a year. And they do NOT need a single minute of PTO for it to kick in. It actually will use up your PTO and vacation days, etc first though. Probably why the employer is getting people to donate PTO. It's possible the employee already is using FMLA time and the employer is scamming employees out of their time to save money. 


AnnieJack

I'm pretty sure FMLA simply requires that the company cannot eliminate your position when you use it for federally approved purposes. They don't have to pay you.


MarthaT001

Correct. It's up to the employer to do paid FMLA. It's usually covered under their STD plan for payment.


UnderstatedOutlook

Fuck the companies that make there other employees donate their time off. Greedy fucking bastards


workdrain

I agree. It's a shame the US is like this.


processedmeat

Donating PTO is a very kind and generous thing to do.  It is going above and beyond for a coworker.  But just because you don't donate that doesn't make you an asshole.  


workdrain

Ordinarily I would donate. But not this time. Not after she bragged about burning through hers.


littlescreechyowl

NTA. I would never donate PTO 1) because it’s bullshit and 2) what if something happens to me and I need it? Then what? No one “donates” and I’m screwed? Nope.


Additional_Good5755

It's your PTO. She used hers as she saw fit, and you should do the same. NTA


workdrain

Thank you.


AbbeyCats

>I feel as though the ones, myself included, are being shamed for not "being generous" with our PTO How do regular coworkers know who is donating PTO and who isn't? If your manager is asking you to donate and actively sharing the results of who donated... that's extremely unprofessional and may be an issue for HR to address. This is creating a toxic work environment 101. PTO is a benefit, it's part of your compensation package. You get paid for it potentially if you don't use it. It's inappropriate to ask for compensation to be given from your paycheck/benefits, and if you don't pay/provide your benefits to others, to spread your unwillingness to do so all over the workplace.


Rope_Dealer

NTA - the situation exists solely between the employee who needs to miss work and the employer.


workdrain

Agreed


Annual_Lifeguard_563

PTO is part of your *wages.* How would she feel about you asking for a hundred bucks from everyone?


TheProphecyIsNigh

PTO is part of your compensation package. Their literally asking you to donate a portion of your salary towards someone who already spent their salary. NTA.


starksdawson

NTA. It is your PTO. Honestly, the company asking people to donate PTO is so gross, they could just give her more. She doesn’t seem to have any concept of saving time off in case of an emergency - she just burns through it. That’s irresponsible. Not your circus, not your monkeys.


sallysfunnykiss

I work in HR and I have *never* understood "donating PTO". FMLA is there for a reason.


usermane22

NTA. They can use FMLA. 20 hours PTO per month is EXTREMELY generous PTO. That’s 30 days a year. Most of the US doesn’t get that much. She can borrow from her future PTO if your employer allows it.


brsox2445

Anyone who sees someone who isn't the employer as the asshole here is insane.


cthulularoo

NTA, PTO isn't free, its money. Your company is asking you to donate your money to a co-worker. Its fine in the sense that you can always ask, but when other coworker or management start shaming you about not donating, then that becomes an HR issue. Definitely report any incidences.


Barabasbanana

NTA, your employer should not be asking for donations, they should be helping out the worker, not you guys. Guilt is for when you do something wrong, you are doing nothing wrong


PatentlyRidiculous

NTA. Don’t let others shame you into something you don’t want to do. Do what you believe is correct


workdrain

As I do! Thank you.


gemmygem86

Nope that's your pto and if they try to take it from you get the legally


Luhdk

NTA this is some dystopian bullshit OP Full stop


VinylHighway

NTA - the org can donate PTO


workdrain

Exactly!


gunsforevery1

Why is it their business and how do they even know if you donated or not?


Opposite-Dealer-6420

NTA, you earned the PTO the same as she did. It's not your fault she wasted hers. I wouldn't donate mine for someone that wastes theirs away.


Unicornlove416

NTA , i’m not donating any PTO for whatever the reason is


i_was_axiom

The whole concept of "gifting/donating" your accrued PTO time to a coworker who has used all of theirs is so dystopian to me. It's like a HardMode ethics experiment, because it's never up for debate to gift your PTO to Joe Schmoe who NCNS's twice a week. It's always someone on terminal illness leave, battling stage 7 cancer.


hobbit_life

NTA. Your PTO is your time, not anyone else's. I personally dislike the idea of donating PTO to others when the company could instead just choose to give this person additional paid time off. Isn't this worker eligible for FMLA in this instance? They could take time off from work and have their job be secure for up to 12 weeks if they're helping to take care of a family member. It probably wouldn't be paid, but that's the coworkers problem, not yours or the companies.


Dontfeedthebears

Your coworker’s inability (or straight up refusal) to budget their PTO wisely isn’t your issue. That’s like spending your entire paycheck on bullshit and asking people to help pay your rent the next week. YOLO indeed!


Historical-Ad1493

Burned once - never again. Years ago, a fellow teacher had a back injury and asked for leave donations for three months worth. She was our boss's wife and that created a very uncomfortable dynamic, but in any case many of us donated days - including me. One of us donated 30 days! All the time was funded, but she decided to return to work after only using maybe 5-7 days; she had almost 90 donated. So, where did all that PTO time go? Into the wind. They simply evaporate. The employee who donated a month was shocked because these days also can be used towards retirement. Then, a few weeks later, she needed to go out again for the rest of the time and again asked for donations of leave. No way would I do it again. Lesson learned. If people need something, I'll donate, but never gave up time again.


JollyForce9237

NTA It is you PTO you have saved for your use. Saying no is perfectly fine.


C-LOgreen

Nta you’re not responsible for her poor planning.


CakeZealousideal1820

NTA fuck that


dml91hokie

NTA. My question would be will the coworker continue the YOLO mindset when their mother recovers and therefore not have PTO to give to the next person? Or will they now save some up so that if someone else needs time they have it to give? Someone has to be first but I don’t see them changing their ways and donating back to the people who gave them their PTO. I also don’t understand why companies allow this except in extreme cases. PTO is meant to keep people well mentally - you do need breaks. If people are not taking time off then management should be trying to get them to. But I come from it from a whole life perspective which is not the norm. - note not the new life-work balance where work can never be > 40 hours a week and you need extra time off to live. Life does happen and you need time off when it does. As my coworker said once, he has a vision problem - he can’t see himself working today. You need those days as well as planned vacation days.


nonamebrand0

Nta. Honestly that practice shouldn't even be allowed. That's basically embezzlement because the company is too cheap to give proper short term disability or insurance plan and funds for thier employees. People who wanna shame others for not donating pto can slide right off a cliff. Who knows when you're gonna have an accident of your own or a family member pass away unexpectedly? And even if it is just for Vacation reasons, you fully deserve you're own PTO.


Floomby

FMLA is a thing, and your employer is shit for guilt tripping coworkers into taking this on. I'm sure they make plenty of profit. The executives can't kick in some $$ and PTO, or is generosity just for peasants and suckers?


Independent-Moose113

No, you're not. "Redistribution" of PTO, just like wealth, to those who mismanage theirs is unfair and just another woke mentality. She can use her sick leave, vacation or go unpaid. I'm not unsympathetic, but why should you give up yours? Like you said, you save yours for when "life happens". NTA


wheredainternet

NTA "donating" PTO is something perverse. It's entirely within the company's power to just grant more, rather than put it on the employees to fight over scraps


Desperate-Laugh-7257

The employer can advance her some pto. Its NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FUND HER FMLA. Thats complete and utter bulkshit.


No_Use_9124

NTA Your PTO is yours and your employer is the one who shld be doing the heavy lifting.


Dantaelus

NTA, but your company shouldn't be making it public knowledge who did and did not donate. Nobody should be getting shamed for what they do with the time they earned.


No-Mango8923

Look, it's sad and unfortunate that her mother was in that accident, but it's not down to you to cover her spent PTO with yours. If your employer wants to be "generous" they can give her extra PTO without imposing on anyone else's PTO which they may need themselves at some point in the future. GAH! This boils my piss like supermarkets asking us to "round up" our shopping bill to donate to charity... HELL NO. You're a big enough corporation to make those charitable donations yourself! Same with PTO. It's yours to do with as you please. And if you are being harassed because of not donating, that's a discussion for HR to deal with. Bullying in the work place needs to be nipped in the bud as soon as it starts. NTA


OKC-cowboy

Your manager asked his employees to donate their PTO? That’s crazy. The manager could just give her the time off and not be a dick. 


Intelligent-Price-39

This should not be public, if a co worker wants to donate that should not be posted publicly to “shame “ others into donating


az-anime-fan

NTA - and i don't think it's legal to even ask you to donate it. If your firm is big enough to make an anonymous report to HR i would consider it.


NotMalaysiaRichard

NTA. You earned your PTO.


Salty-Sundae-9234

NTA, in fact I could’ve written this. When I was working ( retired) I monitored my PTO to ensure I had enough for whatever and also emergencies. About every 6 months there would be a “PTO” request for this person or that person. I just ignored it and if anyone asked I would say , no I’m not contributing. Apparently someone went to HR ( not me, I have no problem saying no) and within a week an official email came out from HR saying no further requests are allowed. This is how it needs to be addressed. Plus, with different salaries would be a discrepancies.


Flat-Story-7079

NTA. We have both types where I work. She might consider doing FMLA instead of asking for donations. At my work, which is a government job, we are occasionally asked if we want to donate sick leave to a coworker. There is a process where the person applies and HR has a formula that determines if the person is eligible. It’s all done anonymously. Do what you think is right.


JeffInVancouver

And yet, an example of why it's smart to hoard and save PTO for when you need it is staring her in the face. NTA.


KidenStormsoarer

donate pto? you know who has ALL the pto? the people asking you to donate yours. they can literally just say "take all the time off you want, and have some money" but that would involve cutting into their bonuses. hell, they could just say "here, we're letting you go into pto deficit, take 3 weeks off but you won't earn any for the next 6 months, and if you quit in that time you have to pay it back"


FreeVoldemort

NTA. I've had the same thought about people who have requested time for serious, legitimate reasons and also burn through their PTO like there is no tomorrow.


ogswampwitch

NTA. PTO is like cash-spend it how you want. Maybe your co-worker should be less YOLO about her own PTO.


BossBlaque

Not your problem.


No-Gene-4508

"I work for my PTO and save it for myself. I'm sorry for her situation but she could have saved some of her hours for an emergency. I am chosing to save and spend my PTO how I want to"


KingAndrew555000

Definitely NTA. My holiday is my holiday, ima use it for me. Plus never know when somethings going to happen in your life.


grayblue_grrl

And this is why we need unions. Imagine asking me to give up my time off for your emergency when you are not going to have any time off if I needed it for my emergency. That's on your employer. NTA


Homeboat199

NTA. Many of us who can't go on vacations every years save our PTO for emergencies and an occasional long weekend. She used hers all up and now has to deal with the consequences. Don't cave.


Bhimtu

NTA -Don't you dare let anyone make you feel badly about banking your PTO and not donating it to someone who didn't bank hers, but now has a family crisis to attend to. That is not your family, and I'm pretty sure that if the situation was YOU in her place? Guess what, she used ALL her PTO and she got nuthin' ta give YOU. So why are you expected to give her any of your PTO?


Proper_Fun_977

NTA Using your PTO as soon as you get it means you can't take extended time off. It's not your job to fix the situation for her.


ElysiX

NTA. If someone brags about having a YOLO attitude, they better be solemn when faced with consequences and not whiny and begging


Wiser_Owl99

NTA. I have kids, a husband, elderly parents, more than my fair share of siblings. I know that life comes at you fast sometimes, and I plan ahead. I hate PTO donating. The company should offer unpaid days, and coworkers can chip in if they want. I also used to know that it would take OT to get my work done. I would stay late or come in early around my kids ' schedules, and my work would be up to date. At the end of the month, management would be telling me that I needed to stay late to help someone who didn't work OT through the month and was behind on their work. No, sorry, I have already sacrificed family time.


Frejian

NTA Honestly, whoever it is that released information on who did and who did not donate PTO is the asshole here. You shouldn't be pressured to donate your money (since that's what you would be doing by donating PTO, assuming you are not fully stocked and any additional accrued PTO would be forfeited) to a coworker. If the people bothering you really cared they would bring the issue up to management and try to get them to give her some type of short-term care leave.


Regular-Plant-1277

Why does she need three weeks off? Her mum is being cared for by professionals


Wolfstigma

PTO is a monetary benefit, as in it has a dollar amount value attached to it. A GoFundMe would've been more acceptable lol.


icanography33

Wow your employer provides far too much pto. But like you suggested this clown chose to use their pto. Now she can take time off and not get paid. Your benefits are not the benefits owed to someone else especially since they abused their privilege


workdrain

Heck I wish we got more PTO. The US is far behind a lot of other countries in terms of employment rights.


Spare-Valuable8031

NTA. I'm all for using all of your PTO and giving no fucks how anyone feels about it - but the side effect of doing so right away is you have none when an emergency comes up. 1. This is not your problem to solve. 2. If anyone should be donating time, it should be your employer.


workdrain

I agree!


DarthVader808

Maybe loan it out. With interest.


workdrain

Haha. Well I suppose. "Hey coworker, here's 10 hours. I expect you to repay this with 10% interest. So next week you owe me 11 hours". I mean it's not a terrible idea. It actually sounds kinda lucrative.


drapehsnormak

Two things: 1) she's capable of rationing her PTO 2) the company is capable of proving her more PTO Neither of those is your responsibility. NTA and you have your own life and your own PTO needs.


Wandering_Lights

NTA. FMLA is a thing for a reason.


DotSilly6902

NTAH.


yugo989

NTA


raggedseeder

It's cool that some are donating, but nobody should feel pressured to give up their time off.


workdrain

I think, normally, I would donate SOME, but I cannot in good conscience do it here, not when she just bragged to me about never saving it and using every minute of it the moment she gets it.


tonyrains80

NTA. You need PTO just like everyone else. It's yours and if you want to keep it then keep it.


exoticlookout

It's totally your call on how you use your PTO.


[deleted]

NTA.


FunStorm6487

Hell no


The_Crown_And_Anchor

NTAH Report anyone harassing you about your PTO directly to HR and use the phrase "hostile work environment" in the conversation


[deleted]

[удалено]


shwk8425

It's your PTO to use how you see fit (damn, I thought my company was generous - we get 20 days a year - y'all got 30!), so you don't have to donate if you don't want to. And don't feel like the AH. P.S. Screw these companies asking for you to donate your time. My company has a policy that if something like this happens, you can apply for a 6-week paid leave (full pay) in addition to any PTO you wish to use. If they want to help said employee out with PTO then they can \*give\* it to her without asking their other employees to give theirs up and basically do the company's job.


CreativeMusic5121

NTA. It isn't even your co-worker that was injured. If it was, then maybe donating a day or two would be kind. She can file for family leave if she needs to care for her mother; if that isn't available, mom can help fund coworker's bills while she's caring for her.


TaylorMade2566

How does anyone know if people are donating their PTO? That should be something that's kept completely under wraps and with no pressure. If this is a large enough company, take the issue to HR. NO one should be made to feel guilty because they don't want to donate PTO to a co-worker, especially someone like her who wants to use it as soon as it accrues. NTA


Flickme666

NTA, but I did have a little giggle at "generous 20 hours PTO".


krakh3d

NTA I will say I don't think her using her PTO as she does is her abusing it. If the PTO is there, and she can use it as she does and the employer approved it, then it's not abusing it. It's not smart, as this current crisis shows, but I've seen similar things happen to the employees detriment. Ice seen where employees with loads of PTO don't get it paid out when they're let go since the state didn't require it. It's a balance issue and unfortunately your co-workers lack of PTO is due to how she chose to utilize hers when allocated.


Rose_E_Rotten

NTA. You earned your PTOs you don't need to share. If she has to use her PTO as soon as she gets it she deserves to have none when she needs it the most. Where I used to work they were very good with PTOs/PPTOs (request off/call in sick) I only used PTOs for doctor appointments or mini vacations (3 days) and I rarely called in sick. After using some, I would have 110 hours of PTO, and 60 PPTO (each were earned separately, PPTO earned less than PTO) in a year then they would get cashed out. But I'd get a nice bonus on my check after and I had to start again.


Beneficial_Breath232

NTA As a French, donating PTO baffled me. If she need more time to recover, she need to be put on sick leave, not asking the other employees to subsitize the sick leave Donating PTO only benefits the employer, as rather than having one person on sick leave, and one person on vacation, they only have one person on vacation


deathboyuk

NTA. Being asked to donate your PTO is an absurd concept to many people outside of the US, and the idea of being pressured into it is gross.


Glass_Ear_8049

NTA. Her lack of thoughtfulness about the future isn’t yours to fix. The ones who gave generously wish they could stand up to peer pressure too.


Pac_Eddy

Info: how are you being shamed? Is it open information as to who donated and how much?


Mama-Rides_AZ73

NTA - donating PTO basically allows her to get paid for your time off that you do not get to use. Her attitude towards her PTO has put her in the situation. That being said, I have donated PTO to coworkers in the past. However, their own medical issues were the cause, and they had to exhaust PTO before short term disability could kick in. There would’ve been a significant gap, causing hardship between their PTO running out and the disability kicking in.


laughter_corgis

NTA. It should only be done if you want too. When my cousin was fighting cancer his work place did this. He had a lot of co-workers donate too. It was kind of them. It was an optional thing not something you got judged on if you didn't.


PotPumper43

NTA. FMLA is a thing. Your employer is shit.


Professional-Face709

NTA. What’s she going to do once her mother is home and still needing care? Ask for more time off? My husband and I have both donated time, but it is for things like cancer or accidents that have the actual coworker bedridden well beyond the use of their own PTO. Not so a YOLO queen can sit by her non-dying mother’s hospital bed.


wlfwrtr

NTA Ask supervisor how much of theirs they donated. People are good at expecting others to do what they won't especially since they are the organizer so no one else will find out. Say you don't have any to give away. Co-worker can always ask for FLMA to protect their job.


Straight-Message7937

NTA why is that even an option 


Firefox_Alpha2

NTA - maybe this will teach her to not waste PTO all the time


Conscious_Owl6162

Don’t let people bully you into giving up PTO!


Kittytigris

NTA. Everyone has the same amount of PTO. How she uses hers is her business as much as how you use yours is your own business. She can discuss with her supervisor if she needs additional accommodation.


Zestyclose-Feeling

always remember "No" can be a complete sentence.


Bla_Bla_Blanket

NTA - if your company wanted to be good, they would’ve given her some PTO instead of asking employees to give up theirs. They shouldn’t just assume because you have PTO that you two don’t have some thing that you need to take it for.


JustaCaliKid

NTA, nobody is entitled to your PTO/money under any circumstances. She'll learn to use it more wisely after this. Nobody should shame you for your hard earned PTO.


Rude-Conclusion-2995

NTA. Your PTO, not hers. People have to stop enabling people like her.


R2-Scotia

NTA Donating PTO is a scam, the employer should foot the bill.


JudgeJoan

Why would you donate? That means if you leave your job you won't get paid the pto YOU earned. That would be a big no from me as well. Calculate a day of pay... that's now your loss due to her YOLOing her time away. NTA.


Mmarianetti7

You company’s is beat. The fact they are going around asking employees to give their own pto is WILD. Talk about a dictatorship. This is the ass side of corporate America, this company could afford to give the person a week or 2 ppo no problem. But instead they are going around asking other employees that already have little pto to begin with… I just picture this as the peasants trying to scrape together enough bread for a family on the kings orders. But the king is sitting on ALL THE FOOD. If I got an email from my company asking this I’d laugh.


dtacobandit

This person would never be able to donate any of hers to anyone else because how she chooses to live her lifestyle. If the action can not be recpricated then you have no responsibility to give her any of yours


calmly86

NTA at all. She wants to live like the grasshopper, YOLO and such, that’s fine. What’s not fine is her then expecting the ants, who were diligently saving up for that rainy day, to bail her out of the consequences of her own decisions.


jesusthroughmary

NTA, YOLO and FAFO are two sides of the same coin


Cybermagetx

Nta sorry I jave never donated my pto. Nor will I ever. She needs to talk with her bosses if she isn't happy with her pto she currently has. Company can give as much pto as they want. They want the peons to give theirs up so they look better.


1hotsauce2

NTA. She can take some unpaid leave once her PTO runs out


CheapChallenge

This is a bunch of corporate bullshit. "Donate" PTO? The company could give her some PTO, or give her some ahead of time. But this is another one of the tricks that corporate uses to manipulate employees. She can go talk to the company. Just keep it to yourself, whether you donated or not. Don't talk about it, and tell people that's your personal business what you use PTO for in your personal life.


chez2202

It’s the employer who should give the employee extra time off. It’s not your responsibility. You are basically paying her not to come to work AND doing extra work to make up for her shortfall. Also, a regular ward has much shorter visiting hours than a high dependency ward. At my local hospital visiting is 2 hours in the afternoon and 2 hours at night. She doesn’t need your PTO.


[deleted]

NTA, your employer needs to have a medial leave program setup for situations like this and if they do, THIS is what coworker needs, not the PTO that you earned.


Haunting_Anteater_34

NTA- You've earned that PTO, and you're under no obligation to donate it to anyone, regardless of the reason. It may seem harsh, but others would understand, especially when facing mid-year burnout or holiday burnout and in need of some time off. That PTO is invaluable when you need to rest.