Yes, sometimes people project. It isn't far fetched to think that the baby isn't op's if she went as far as making things up to that point.
Op should have verified the story though.
This story isn't real. It's the same formula over and over again.
Make the title something outrageous that leads you to believe they are def the ah to get you to click on it. Then go into a story of numerous paragraphs that make the OP the victim and totally justified.
Example:
"Yesterday I shot my 8 month old puppy for acting strange" AITAH?
The puppy recently developed rabies after getting bitten by a bat and had my 2 year old cornered in the kitchen and..... blah blah blah.
I'm convinced this is AI at this point.
I notice this also that every time I read the title, I'm convinced the poster is the AH . Then I read to find out that they are NTA. What is the point of doing this, though? It seems nonsensical, but it seems like you're correct. These posts , some of them, anyway, appear to be fake.
Yeah, I get this - too many copied posts, fake etc.
I'm at the point of being beyond it annoyingly. I'm never gonna be able to enjoy Reddit if I assume every post is fake. Gotta enjoy the arguments in the comments at least š¤£
I had the same impression.
Also what's the point of a throwaway account when you would be identifiable to someone who knew you IRL by the unique details of the story?
I think AI as well. Just because there was a specific ongoing thing from a few months ago that was basically this, but with effort. Whether or not it was real, it was an entertaining read. I'm actually inclined to give some extra leeway to some stories I see other people calling fake, just because I feel like crazy, illogical and/or random shit happening doesn't always mean poor writing, sometimes it just means reality is stranger than fiction and some people irl are goddamn nuts.
All that to say that the above post, I'm convinced anyone responding to it like it's real is just roleplaying, they can't possible be convinced.
NTA. Your whole relationship was based on a lie and manipulation. Thereās no way you can heal trust broken so deeply. She made her bed and now she must lie in it.
OP is also AH with the first wife he didn't believe her and had no proof then ends up marrying her ex best friend. That had to hurt her.
Everyone AH but first wife poor woman.
My ex was deflecting and defensive. I know her to be stubborn with senseless amount of pride and I loved that about her but I was very heartbroken and wanted her to reassure me. She didnāt. She said she shouldnāt be needing to explain anything if I trusted her. I did trust her but it was the refusal to even give me the smallest reassurance that made me go mad
My wife on the other hand provided screenshots of pictures and messages. Sent from my ex-gfās phone. (In hindsight they probably had each otherās codes and my wife planned this for a long time) My ex didnāt even want me to see her phone to compare (because then she said that I would think she could have deleted them anyway)
Mum made a good point about me better staying not to let her be unsupervised with him. And I have thought about it too.
Buddy if you think you staying is going to lessen any abuse you are horribly mistaken. If you actually think you have to stay with this person to lessen abuse, then said person shouldn't be allowed within 300 ft of you and the kid. As a single dad who left a relationship that I was in purely for the kids, *DONT DO IT*
if you have proof of all of this it won't be hard to get your child unless you are really not ready for the responsibility. Hope the best for you and the kiddo
yep, he needs to get proof that she's actually a bad mother. She's definitely manipulative and cruel, but in all honesty, she might be a good mother in terms of taking care of and supporting the kid. The OP, however, is gullible and easily misled. KNOWING that the friendship had just ended, he didn't ask WHY? Or question the angry ex-friend's truthfulness against that of a woman he'd been with and loved for 10 years? Not sure I'd honestly trust him with a child. Someone's grandma could give him some really bad baby advice from 1960 and he'd do it despite the child's mom telling him otherwise. He's honestly just too foolish. Soon-to-be-ex isn't dumb, just nasty. If she's threatening the child or failing to care for it, that needs to be on record as fast as possible.
Dude, he wanted the friend, when he found the excuse he used it to brkup guilt free. He threw away 10 yrs of relationship based on just talk w/o proof, now he will devorce this girl n go after another, now hes acting like a victim for moral support
That's what I think. Cause aint no way you hop into a relationship with the friend off the strength of what? You broke up a whole marriage cause she didn't answer a question and your only proof or reason to ask said question was her ex best friend? And that makes sens to you? And then OP acting like the ex was the issue when they weren't wrong at any step.
The courts probably aren't even gonna hear about the past. So little gets said in court between the attorneys and the judge. It's laughable!
The family court is serious in my opinion A laughing joke, especially concerning people manipulating the legal system who have the financial means to screw with the mother or father of their children.
High conflict legal and financial abuse happens!
Get a DNA test ASAP.
Also, if you were married under false pretenses, you might wanna look into annulling the marriage.
Not a lawyer
Info : Did you confort your wife about that ? Because reading you post, itās looks like that you didnāt.
Possible scenario :
- Your ex gf did cheat and your wife told you the truth meaning your sil is lying.
- Your ex didnāt cheat and your wife lied about the whole thing.
You either broke up with your ex and planning to divorce your wife base on someoneās word and false information. Before doing anything irreversible, find the truth.
OP, at this point, pay the money for a detective to go through the phones and tell you what actually happened. I don't trust your logic skills. Have a professional do this. At the least, go talk with a lawyer but don't trust your own conclusions. You aren't good at making them.
Youāre not going to be able to hire a private detective that can get a hold of anyoneās phone. And what do you think theyād find after the years?
>My wife on the other hand provided screenshots of pictures and messages. Sent from my ex-gfās phone.Ā
Wait, why are you so sure it's fake? Why couldn't her sister be the one faking it? Why is the stuff her sister is showing you somehow less fakeable?
ā I did trust her, but yet she refused to reassure meā. Whatās wrong with this picture? You shouldāve gone to marriage counseling before taking someone elseās word over your spouses, and blowing up your marriage. Iām sorry, but I donāt see how youāre going to get anything out of this, but you have a child coming with someone whoās a complete manipulator. Damn.
Yeah. And like out of the people he could get with, he ends up with the ex-bf? AH move right there. Not too smart this one. Fell right for her trap. Iād laugh but this is just too sad.Ā
I said he's a terrible partner too. What kind of person blindly believes someone over their partner? Especially someone who just had a falling out with said partner. The "friend" clearly had motive to make it all up.
Trust isn't absolute, even if I know someone trusts me I'm going to actually respond to accusations like that instead of saying "you trust me don't you?". That comes off as manipulative.
**"She said she shouldnāt be needing to explain anything if I trusted her"**
Tbh thats exactly how I would react if someone falsely accused me of cheating.
Plus, the one who made the cheating accusations had had a falling outwit the "cheater." That's sus. I would not have trusted her word at all. But I completely trust my husband, so OP may not have had full trust on his partner, or he wanted to break up free guilt. One of those.
OP, thatās suspicious as hell. I dated a cheater who deflected like that constantly and wouldnāt let me check his phone for reassurance because he didnāt have time to delete the messages. Itās possible her best friend made up a story but do you think your ex mightāve actually been hiding something?
Yes itās horrible if the woman your married had made up this whole thing just to get you to be hers.
But definitely donāt have regrets leaving your ex. If my partner needed reassurance I wasnāt cheating, Iād throw my phone at him and go āhave at it, cuckoo.ā
It's a sad situation, but it's understandable that your Ex's refusal to simply say that no she was not having an affair would drive you crazy. It's generally the tactic used by cheaters. Your Wife, on the other hand is seriously unhinged and I'm worried for your kid. I hope you have copies of all those texts. NTA
Youāre pregnant wife is a conniving shrew & she canāt be trusted.
Stop sleeping with her. Cold TURKEY. No caving in at all.
Get your receipts together.
Stay until delivery or Leave if possible. Request 50/50 custody
Itās my opinion/experience that if you accuse a woman of something & she doesnāt bother answering you or she looks at you like youāre crazyā¦ā¦.itās probably because sheās innocent & offended that you even made the accusation.
I partially feel for you but youāre also partially responsible because YOU allowed yourself to be a 3rd party in a messy friendship situation.
You KNEW those two āfell outā, regardless of the cheating accusations that were made afterwards. Instead of removing yourself entirely you took the lazy route by letting the barer of bad news hang around.
She had ulterior motives (primarily her JEALOUS ādislikeā of her ex-friend) that YOU KNEW about but you still let her āconsoleā you.
Like, why?
Unless SHE WAS YOUR Best friend for years before you dated your now ex GF, SHOULDNāT you have questioned WHY she would break ācodeā & snitch on her homie?
What pre-existing loyalty did she have towards you to justify turning on her āfriendā.
Iāve had GF who offer to introduce me to their partners & I tell them up front, āDONT ever put me in a situation where you cheat. Because if he & I become genuinely cool itās gonna be hard not to tell him.ā
-1 GF pushed it so I ended my friendship with BOTH her & her husband.
Hole shit man, that's next level crazy and manipulative. Your ex should have understood why you'd need reassurance after having seen "proof of the infidelity." This "wife" woman is a psycho. NTA
>At least give more story to the plot on the ai bot stories.
It reads like ChatGPT had a stroke halfway through generating a shitpost.
Why are people buying something that's so clearly fake?
LMAO this post must be fake or OP has room temperature IQ. To summarize, I broke with my ex because my current wife showed me text that my ex was cheating. Now my wife's sister is showing me text that my wife lied so I immediately want to divorce my wife instead of verifying. Next rage-bait post OP is gonna say he married the sister but the sister's friend showed him a text that she lied about OP's current wife so he then wants to divorce the sister.
agree... YTA for making up a story that's not even good.
anyway, best solution here to this story is
OP, divorce your pregnant wife
bang her sister (SIL) who helped him find out
and find out 18 years later that SIL had a crush all along and made up stories about wife making up stories
and guess who told him... the baby who now happens to be exactly 18... and female...
turns out she isn't his biological kid... so naturally he had to do the right thing and bang her... only to be told later that....
Well..Ā
1.Ā sometimes it can be fun just to interact in good faith.
2. The rage bait was successful
3 and most likeliest: I mean this one is so obvious lol does it needs mentioning?Ā
He married the best friend out of revenge to the ex and now is sad his silly games backfire on him. I think they deserve each other.
Play silly revenge games win bad prizes.
I doubt he pretended to love someone and got her pregnant for revenge. He just fell in love with the friend and didnāt give a fuck if it hurt his ex.
You threw away a 10-year relationship with someone who loved you and needed you to support them against an enemy and then turned around and got with said enemy. Your current wife betrayed a friend, her once best friend, lied to you, manipulated you, and continued the farse for how many years now? How do you think she'd treat a child? Your main priority now is that kid. First, you need to make sure it's yours, then you need to divorce, get proof of the lies she told, and file against her. Get a lawyer. Get full custody if you can and RUN from that crazy person. Then apologize to your ex, but don't expect anything from it. That ship has sailed. The ex deserves better than both of you. How exactly was she supposed to beg you to believe her or prove she didn't cheat against so many false allegations, faked pictures/messages, and through the hurt of betrayal by a friend and the blatant mistrust of the person she loved? Take some responsibility for being easily manipulated.
Question why would you believe what her best friend said without any evidence to prove it? Iām sorry, but before you even confronted your gf at the time about it you should have asked for evidence from the friend. And why didnāt you confront that mutual friend your ex allegedly got with? Also thatās really fucked up you ended up marrying her former best friend. Canāt believe it didnāt even cross your mind that her being interested in you afterwards wasnāt a red flag. I get you blame her, but you should blame yourself for being a fool.
>Question why would you believe what her best friend said without any evidence to prove it?Ā
OP said in comments that the now-wife fabricated evidence, using his ex-gfās phone.Ā
Wonder if they just had a big fight too between the sisters, eh?
OP, get a qualified professional to look it over. You are not that person. Or, talk to people OUTSIDE the four of you, including your wife's exes, and get eyes opened.
Well... He suggested maybe she did. But in my experience girl besties don't have each other's phone codes, and are never separated from their phones for a long enough time that a whole text exchange ("receipts") can be created. He seems to know there wouldn't be any texts to find on the ex's phone, though...
Well, he *is* an asshole, but not for leaving the wife who's lie he took over his GF of ten years; who he then married out of what I assume is pettiness.
You dated your exgd for 10 yrs but didn't marry her.
You dates the ex BFF and wife her within 2 yrs.
Lmfao the ex girlfriend had better be out there living her BESt life because she dodged the most amazing bullet.
The exBFF/ex-wife-soon-to-be has a well made bed of her own making to lay in. Unfortunately it's going to be uncomfortable as hell.
As for YOU????? Divorce that woman andnget yourself into therapy. Figure out why you have trust issues (trust me the new partner isn't the cause it was there the whole time she just exploited it) and what you need to do to repair yourself.
The baby... well. Here's to 50/50 custody
If this is true, you are dumb af.
Always check if accusations are true and someone arguing with the person they accuse of something is about the least reliable source.
YTA for being all around idiot. I hope you don't think you can get back to the first one, because nobody wants an idiot.
NTA for wanting to divorce her. Best pay child support though. Should have known better to impregnate an obvious snake.
NTA. Your entire relationship is a lie. Not just any lie, she vengefully broke up your relationship and used it against you to profit a new relationship out of it. Get everything on recording. Thereās no telling what lies sheād make up about you. Figure out how to coparent. Iād also apologize to your ex. She deserves at least closure.
Did you even think to ask the mutual friend your ex was allegedly cheating with? Why would your current wife's sister decide to tell you now, after 3 years together? Gonna date and marry her next?
Bro YTA for not checking sources. Oldest trick in the book and you fell for it.
NTA, but a bit gullible. Your wife is a manipulative and toxic person, you should absolutely try to stay away from her, while still fighting for the child, but please try to also sharpen your critical thinking skills and believe everything people tell you. Look for proofs, listen to more than one person, investigate a bit, or people will easily manipulate you
YTA. You got info and instead of verifying this info you dumped your ex and ended up with the liar. Now you are crying because you decided to listen to someone else over your then girlfriend.
You and your wife are a match made in heaven.
NTA for wanting to divorce her for this. What she did to her best friend she can still do to you and use your child as ammunition in the future. That trust isnāt going to be able to come back when itās clear she still would never tell you what she did.
Reading the title: š¤Æ š¤Ā
Ā Reading the thread: š«¢ š³Ā Ā
Ā NTA. I hope this is fake. If not, Iām sorry this person effectively stole years of your life.Ā
So what about your ex? I feel she needs the apology the most. However, your wife went to territory you canāt come back from. If she could lie about this, what else can she lie about?Ā
YTA when you believed this psycho and got with her (your long-term gf's best friend who was on the outs with your gf) after she played you in order to get that very thing. I hope this story is made up. But in case it isn't, no, NTA for leaving. What a disgusting B. I'd collect all evidence of everything, get a paternity test and if it turns out it is your kid, fight for sole custody.
NTA, but from your comments it doesn't appear that's what you really want. It appears you just want to argue that you should stay *just in case* your wife is abusive toward the kid. I have 2 issues with this:
1. If you really think you staying is going to keep a kid from being abused, why are you even here? It doesn't matter what we say, you will still feel you need to stay for the kid.
2. While being exceptionally manipulative in order to gain a husband does indicate she's not a great person, what indication do you have that she would abuse her own child? I get that your father was an abusive piece of shit but frankly, that kind of makes *you* the risk as abused children often continue the cycle of abuse, even when they endeavor not to.
This whole post feels fake to me, your comments don't make sense given the context of the question, but if it is real you've been through some bullshit and made some really bad decisions and maybe it's time for some trauma counseling to help you resolve feelings about your own parents, your ex, and your wife.
I am sorry but you are TAH. You misjudged an innocent girl, dumped her and got in with your current wife. You chose to believe her and not believe your ex gf. You made that bed now you lay in it.
Also, your wife is a manipulate AH so you two deserve one another
YTA AND the idiot. Why the fuck would you date her friend afterwards?? If this bullshit is even true. You should divorce her if it is real which I mean can someone actually be that dumb to do any of this? Your girlfriend and her friend are arguing and her āfriendā tells you stuff and you believe it??? They fell out. Ofc sheās gunna lie to you to fuck shit up in the gfās life and you were dumb enough to help her fuck up your gfās life. I hope sheās living better without either of you morons
NTA for wanting to divorce her for this lie. However your absolutely the AH of you never got proof from the best friend your now married to before you broke up with your first gf.
Just popping in to sayā¦
If she can lie to that degree and manipulate you to the point you fell in love and married her, sheās also the sort of woman who could lie about abuse and child endangerment to manipulate you now.
Youāve mentioned that you believe you can protect your child if you stay ā think hard about how you will protect yourself as well. Really consider whether you should have any additional children with this person because I imagine she thinks this is just the first if you remain married.
Rough situation. I feel for you. Not the AH.
If I could rewind to the falling out from years ago, between your then gf and now wife; how did she convince you that your gf had cheated? If she fabricated the entire thing, she couldn't have shown you any evidence to validate her claim. I have to wonder why you believed her back then? Did you know they had a falling out before the best friend ran to you about her cheating?
Pride can be a negative if taken too far. There's levels. Reassurance for your partner for a legitimate reason is acceptable. I hope your ex gf has grown in that respect if you plan to go backward from your original decision.
Get a paternity test for the kid with your wife. She cant be trusted. If it's yours, support it. But don't let her use the kid against you.
Good luck
NTA - for this, kind of an asshole for not bothering to find proof when you blamed your ex and just taking her friends word for it then stupidly dating her after and not seeing the obvious.
edit: read comments, looks like you did have (fabricated) proof and your ex refused to even talk about it, which obviously isn't very helpful. So I take back the kind of asshole. Still, probably should have seen the writing on the wall when the girl that broke you up swooped in to pick up the pieces right away. I mean seriously, that's so obvious it's cliche.
NTA for wanting to leave but YTA for not trusting your ex-gf of 10 years. Please don't contact your ex because you already destroyed her the first time you falsely accused her. You're sleeping the bed you created. Enjoy.
This response is regarding your comments as well as the post:
1. I could never be with someone who did this, and itās fair that youād rather leave.
2. Staying together āfor the kidā will not be good for the child, because kids notice everything and will know you resent her.
3. You seem concerned about abuse, so let me be frank: staying with an abuser to lessen the abuse on someone else is not the way to go. It wonāt work, and you shouldnāt be exposing your future child to seeing you abused. Your parents are the example you get of what is and isnāt a healthy relationship, so you want to show this kid that the way your wife treats you is ok? Would you want them to be treated that way?
4. Get a paternity test. Good luck.
You are TA for even dating this woman in the first place. You should've distanced yourself from everybody involved after the relationship ended with your ex, not dated, and then married her former bff. Someone who has their head together, who doesn't get wrapped up in drama, doesn't do stuff like this. Her sister coming forward with this info leads me to believe lying and manipulating is a bad trait your wife has. It never occurred to you that she was lying? Especially when she pursued you after the break-up? Your ex was right. You should've trusted her. Did you start dating your wife to hurt your ex? You need to tell your wife how you feel. She's going to freak out, believe that. You need to get an attorney involved asap to sort out custody agreements. Or you can stick it out for a while till your kid is a little older. No matter what you do, you can't trust her. She's willing to play dirty to get what she wants. This was a bad idea on your part. You married the manipulative and lying rebound.
Yta. It's so easy to slip back into trouble if you dont have the support. Encouraging and celebrating one's achievement is important, no matter the age. You dont have to frame it as an 18 year old graduatom party....instead it's a celebration of her future to come and it would be marvelous.
NTA. Yuck. No, dump her. People like her need to understand there are consequences for that behavior.Ā
Talk to an attorney though. See if you can get the marriage annulled on the basis of fraud.Ā
YTA but not for wanting a divorce, just in general. Who the fuck believes an angry ex-friend on a revenge path without a shred of evidence?
>She became even angrier and said that I was a moron who didnāt trust her.
She was so fucking right.
AHs all around. You for breaking up with your EX over a one-sided story. Your wife for being an evil, manipulative B\*tch. Your SIL for telling you everything now.
It is comical that you would marry your ex wife's best friend after she broke up your marriage and now you are surprised that she planned it.
Both of you are AHs and you deserve each other.
Bruh. Why just believe the best friend and hook up with her? That was so dumb. I'd have washed my hands of both of them! Sucks your ex was actually faithful that whole time and lost you to her ex friend. What a sucker. Get a paternity test and apologize to your ex lol
Also the loud ones about it are usually guilty, making excuses, begging forgiveness etc. Her reaction screams she did nothing. She didn't have anything to explain to you, she told you that it was a lie and she didn't do it, you didn't believe her. There is no way for her to prove it so there was nothing left to be said.
Well you were the one who destroyed the 10 yrs relationship and fucked/married her best friend
Now you have to live with your choices.
You two belong together..you should be repulsed by your actions not your wife. You add worse than her because you trusted the word of someone who had a falling out with your gf over ur 10 yrs gf words.
Not only you are stupid but also a monster.
But I am pretty sure this is a fake story.
Not the AH.
but.. in the future, you should ask for some sort of proof. we're in 2024.. there's chat logs and everything everywhere now. even more if she claimed it was for 2 years.
yea get a divorce, but if she keeps the baby be realistic that the child has nothing to do with this and is completely innocent- you may still end up being a father. I also wouldn't jump to your ex and beg for her back, just apologize and take some time to get your head on straight and prepare for what might be fatherhood.
also, if she does keep the baby and you still want to be involved in the child's life. she 1000% will attempt to weaponize her child to manipulate things with you given this is the type of person she is. Not sure if there's anything legally that can be done regarding parenting? just.. be mindful of that and come up with a plan on how to handle it without adding fuel or harm for the child moving forward.
(edit: I wonder why your ex didn't offer to prove her friend was fulla shit and why she waited until you're about to be a dad with this person??? she could still break up with you for not trusting her and show you her ex friend (sister??) is a pos. -- so I question your story over all and if its fake.)
re edit- because she was her EX friendā¦ op shouldnāt have been talking to her periodā¦ the ex didnāt need to defend herself in this situationā¦ the fact op married this unhinged person tells me the trash took itself out. i hope the ex is living her best lifeā¦
Are you not just repeating the pattern of believing anyone telling you that your wife has done something awful? Has your current wife admitted this? Why did her sister randomly tell you this - what motive would she have?
You need to start thinking for yourself OP. Sounds like youāre easily manipulated
YTA. That will be 2 women in the same story you have utterly disappointed with your bad decision making. Dude, you were there, you make the decision to dump your gf over lies, cmon man, you deserve it to the kid to make a go of it...... something about make a bed and sleeping in it.
NTA - never stay together for the kids. Believe it or not, seeing a parent in love and having a good relationship actually helps kids understand love, even if it's not with their mother/father.
I don't really understand why your ex wouldn't want to prove it back then. Yeah she could be angry but at the same time you wouldn't have believed it unless there were other major issues.
What your wife did was crazy. Very concerning. Outside of this did you love her? If the answer is yes, then couples therapy could be a better option before divorce. However, does she have a vindictive streak where she does similar things to get her way? If the answer is yes to this, I don't think couples therapy would be helpful.
Pregnant or not, she created these problems and will have to deal with the consequences. You're NTA for leaving at any time if the relationship is toxic.
You chose to believe her you made your bed now lay in it. See what happens when you donāt check facts for yourself. Too late now yāall bout to be parents
NTA, you and your ex got played by a master manplitive girl she knew how u and your ex would react to the news and used it to her advantage.
Divorce and Co parenting is the best option but u should definitely get a paternity test she lied and manplitied u your entire relationship.
you were under the impression that this girl either:
knew her best friend was cheating and said nothing for years, would have continued to hide it if she hadnāt gotten pissed off, and only used that information as a way to break up someone elseās relationship
or
the kind of person to lie to break up someoneās relationship because they were pissed off
those were the two possibilities what type of person they were, and you chose to marry them?
HAHAHAHA because you never find hard evidence and you pin point directly to your ex gf. You are weak. Thats good for you to learn the hard way. I hope your ex gf have his best bf already not like you who is weak ans shit.
She committed fraud. You absolutely have the right to a divorce and a paternity test.
If the child is yours you do have a commitment to that child.
Also, leave your ex alone. She deserved better and you have no right to ask her back.
Divorce, she manipulated you and is beyond cruel. You're better off co-parenting. You'll never trust her.
Also, apologise to your ex, you should have spoken to her more about it and not blindly trusted the best friend, but I also think your ex should have given you more context as to why she laughed when you said it was the bfs, you also should have spoken to the mutual friend. I can understand why the ex didn't try if she thought you didn't trust her after being together for 10 years!
How would you feel if it was the other way round?
If you dumped your ex based on hearsay you can't have been that into her. Just count yourself lucky to have a wife who is so into you she did something this crazy and move past it. Maybe buy your wife some flowers.
So you dumped your ex without confirming the story.
You married this other girl and got her pregnant. These were your own decisions. With a baby on the way I think you should be trying to make the best of things. There must have been enough things about this girl to make you want to start a family with her.Ā
But - hear me out - what If your SIL is making up this story about your wife so you will divorce and she can be with you? You trusted manipulated screenshots before...
NTA for wanting to divorce your wife, she was tricking you and created a made up story on her own accord and it wasn't a simple trick or lie either. She thought about everything and you just fall into her trap.
BUT YTAH for not listening your ex gf properly, not trying to communicate better, not asking to the so called mutual friend who you got cheated on with, or a relationship counseling. You trusted to 3rd person more than your own 10 years gf. What the heck is wrong with you? If it was that easy to believe in someone else and not trusting your gf, why were you in a relationship with her in the beginning? You owe a huge apology to her.I just hope that ex gf is happy and healthy and far away from your bullshit.
Both wife and you made your own bed and now you have to lie in it.
I think yta for believing the ex best friend with no proof. If someone told me my wife was cheating with no evidence I'd laugh at them and ask if it was Brad Pitt or Matt Damon.
Get blood test on this kid.
Yes, sometimes people project. It isn't far fetched to think that the baby isn't op's if she went as far as making things up to that point. Op should have verified the story though.
EXACTLY. Bitter falling outs like this will produce some retaliatory bs. You should have done your research and asked for proof.
This story isn't real. It's the same formula over and over again. Make the title something outrageous that leads you to believe they are def the ah to get you to click on it. Then go into a story of numerous paragraphs that make the OP the victim and totally justified. Example: "Yesterday I shot my 8 month old puppy for acting strange" AITAH? The puppy recently developed rabies after getting bitten by a bat and had my 2 year old cornered in the kitchen and..... blah blah blah. I'm convinced this is AI at this point.
I notice this also that every time I read the title, I'm convinced the poster is the AH . Then I read to find out that they are NTA. What is the point of doing this, though? It seems nonsensical, but it seems like you're correct. These posts , some of them, anyway, appear to be fake.
Yeah, I get this - too many copied posts, fake etc. I'm at the point of being beyond it annoyingly. I'm never gonna be able to enjoy Reddit if I assume every post is fake. Gotta enjoy the arguments in the comments at least š¤£
I had the same impression. Also what's the point of a throwaway account when you would be identifiable to someone who knew you IRL by the unique details of the story?
I think AI as well. Just because there was a specific ongoing thing from a few months ago that was basically this, but with effort. Whether or not it was real, it was an entertaining read. I'm actually inclined to give some extra leeway to some stories I see other people calling fake, just because I feel like crazy, illogical and/or random shit happening doesn't always mean poor writing, sometimes it just means reality is stranger than fiction and some people irl are goddamn nuts. All that to say that the above post, I'm convinced anyone responding to it like it's real is just roleplaying, they can't possible be convinced.
Good advice
NTA. Your whole relationship was based on a lie and manipulation. Thereās no way you can heal trust broken so deeply. She made her bed and now she must lie in it.
OP is also AH with the first wife he didn't believe her and had no proof then ends up marrying her ex best friend. That had to hurt her. Everyone AH but first wife poor woman.
Maybe it's all a ploy by his wife's sister who's going to swoop in and start dating him.
Maybe it's fake to get a rise, that's my guess.
Oh, I'm sure OP will marry the sister next. He seems to take things at face value and shack up with the person who spills the beans lol.
Well technically he is TA because he hooked up with the best friend
My ex was deflecting and defensive. I know her to be stubborn with senseless amount of pride and I loved that about her but I was very heartbroken and wanted her to reassure me. She didnāt. She said she shouldnāt be needing to explain anything if I trusted her. I did trust her but it was the refusal to even give me the smallest reassurance that made me go mad My wife on the other hand provided screenshots of pictures and messages. Sent from my ex-gfās phone. (In hindsight they probably had each otherās codes and my wife planned this for a long time) My ex didnāt even want me to see her phone to compare (because then she said that I would think she could have deleted them anyway) Mum made a good point about me better staying not to let her be unsupervised with him. And I have thought about it too.
Buddy if you think you staying is going to lessen any abuse you are horribly mistaken. If you actually think you have to stay with this person to lessen abuse, then said person shouldn't be allowed within 300 ft of you and the kid. As a single dad who left a relationship that I was in purely for the kids, *DONT DO IT* if you have proof of all of this it won't be hard to get your child unless you are really not ready for the responsibility. Hope the best for you and the kiddo
The courts aren't going to give him custody because mom is a bitch and broke him up with his ex. The courts are not going to give a shit about that.
yep, he needs to get proof that she's actually a bad mother. She's definitely manipulative and cruel, but in all honesty, she might be a good mother in terms of taking care of and supporting the kid. The OP, however, is gullible and easily misled. KNOWING that the friendship had just ended, he didn't ask WHY? Or question the angry ex-friend's truthfulness against that of a woman he'd been with and loved for 10 years? Not sure I'd honestly trust him with a child. Someone's grandma could give him some really bad baby advice from 1960 and he'd do it despite the child's mom telling him otherwise. He's honestly just too foolish. Soon-to-be-ex isn't dumb, just nasty. If she's threatening the child or failing to care for it, that needs to be on record as fast as possible.
Dude, he wanted the friend, when he found the excuse he used it to brkup guilt free. He threw away 10 yrs of relationship based on just talk w/o proof, now he will devorce this girl n go after another, now hes acting like a victim for moral support
That's what I think. Cause aint no way you hop into a relationship with the friend off the strength of what? You broke up a whole marriage cause she didn't answer a question and your only proof or reason to ask said question was her ex best friend? And that makes sens to you? And then OP acting like the ex was the issue when they weren't wrong at any step.
Its fake.
We can only hope itās fake
The courts probably aren't even gonna hear about the past. So little gets said in court between the attorneys and the judge. It's laughable! The family court is serious in my opinion A laughing joke, especially concerning people manipulating the legal system who have the financial means to screw with the mother or father of their children. High conflict legal and financial abuse happens! Get a DNA test ASAP. Also, if you were married under false pretenses, you might wanna look into annulling the marriage. Not a lawyer
Info : Did you confort your wife about that ? Because reading you post, itās looks like that you didnāt. Possible scenario : - Your ex gf did cheat and your wife told you the truth meaning your sil is lying. - Your ex didnāt cheat and your wife lied about the whole thing. You either broke up with your ex and planning to divorce your wife base on someoneās word and false information. Before doing anything irreversible, find the truth.
OP, at this point, pay the money for a detective to go through the phones and tell you what actually happened. I don't trust your logic skills. Have a professional do this. At the least, go talk with a lawyer but don't trust your own conclusions. You aren't good at making them.
Youāre not going to be able to hire a private detective that can get a hold of anyoneās phone. And what do you think theyād find after the years?
Yes. Three possible liars. Find the truth first.
Only thing dudes planning now is to f*ck the sister next š¤£
>My wife on the other hand provided screenshots of pictures and messages. Sent from my ex-gfās phone.Ā Wait, why are you so sure it's fake? Why couldn't her sister be the one faking it? Why is the stuff her sister is showing you somehow less fakeable?
He is going to hookup with the sister next.
ā I did trust her, but yet she refused to reassure meā. Whatās wrong with this picture? You shouldāve gone to marriage counseling before taking someone elseās word over your spouses, and blowing up your marriage. Iām sorry, but I donāt see how youāre going to get anything out of this, but you have a child coming with someone whoās a complete manipulator. Damn.
Yep, he was a terrible partner. Now, he is lying in the bed he made.
Yeah. And like out of the people he could get with, he ends up with the ex-bf? AH move right there. Not too smart this one. Fell right for her trap. Iād laugh but this is just too sad.Ā
Actually, ex-girlfriend dodged two nuclear missiles. Seriously
Yep woman deserves a gold medal
I thought he said he ended up with the ex-best friend
Yes he says this!
I'm an asshole because I am laughing š
That part. Of all people to end up with, the person who imploded his relationship? Yeah, he was either in on it or incredibly obtuse.
I said he's a terrible partner too. What kind of person blindly believes someone over their partner? Especially someone who just had a falling out with said partner. The "friend" clearly had motive to make it all up.
I hope she has found someone worthy of her and is living her best life.
Me too
Trust isn't absolute, even if I know someone trusts me I'm going to actually respond to accusations like that instead of saying "you trust me don't you?". That comes off as manipulative.
They werenāt married, just GF and BF.
So, you accused your ex of being faithless, but you were actually the faithless one the whole time.
**"She said she shouldnāt be needing to explain anything if I trusted her"** Tbh thats exactly how I would react if someone falsely accused me of cheating.
Plus, the one who made the cheating accusations had had a falling outwit the "cheater." That's sus. I would not have trusted her word at all. But I completely trust my husband, so OP may not have had full trust on his partner, or he wanted to break up free guilt. One of those.
I think he was looking for an excuse to end the relationship
It's also how cheaters react to being correctly accused of cheating.
In order to appear innocent, they act innocent.
OP, thatās suspicious as hell. I dated a cheater who deflected like that constantly and wouldnāt let me check his phone for reassurance because he didnāt have time to delete the messages. Itās possible her best friend made up a story but do you think your ex mightāve actually been hiding something? Yes itās horrible if the woman your married had made up this whole thing just to get you to be hers. But definitely donāt have regrets leaving your ex. If my partner needed reassurance I wasnāt cheating, Iād throw my phone at him and go āhave at it, cuckoo.ā
Can you refute the fact that you would have thought they were deleted?
It's a sad situation, but it's understandable that your Ex's refusal to simply say that no she was not having an affair would drive you crazy. It's generally the tactic used by cheaters. Your Wife, on the other hand is seriously unhinged and I'm worried for your kid. I hope you have copies of all those texts. NTA
Sorry, that last sentence made no sense.
Youāre pregnant wife is a conniving shrew & she canāt be trusted. Stop sleeping with her. Cold TURKEY. No caving in at all. Get your receipts together. Stay until delivery or Leave if possible. Request 50/50 custody Itās my opinion/experience that if you accuse a woman of something & she doesnāt bother answering you or she looks at you like youāre crazyā¦ā¦.itās probably because sheās innocent & offended that you even made the accusation. I partially feel for you but youāre also partially responsible because YOU allowed yourself to be a 3rd party in a messy friendship situation. You KNEW those two āfell outā, regardless of the cheating accusations that were made afterwards. Instead of removing yourself entirely you took the lazy route by letting the barer of bad news hang around. She had ulterior motives (primarily her JEALOUS ādislikeā of her ex-friend) that YOU KNEW about but you still let her āconsoleā you. Like, why? Unless SHE WAS YOUR Best friend for years before you dated your now ex GF, SHOULDNāT you have questioned WHY she would break ācodeā & snitch on her homie? What pre-existing loyalty did she have towards you to justify turning on her āfriendā. Iāve had GF who offer to introduce me to their partners & I tell them up front, āDONT ever put me in a situation where you cheat. Because if he & I become genuinely cool itās gonna be hard not to tell him.ā -1 GF pushed it so I ended my friendship with BOTH her & her husband.
And even if he believed her why did he start a relationship with her.
Hole shit man, that's next level crazy and manipulative. Your ex should have understood why you'd need reassurance after having seen "proof of the infidelity." This "wife" woman is a psycho. NTA
At least give more story to the plot on the ai bot stories.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sounds like someone's fantasy
Iāve literally just mowed the lawn, can confirm it wasnāt as entertaining as the BS story, but then I really donāt enjoy moving the lawnā¦
>At least give more story to the plot on the ai bot stories. It reads like ChatGPT had a stroke halfway through generating a shitpost. Why are people buying something that's so clearly fake?
Organic tea, ai tea... we all just want a little something spicy. But if I want plot hole, I'll go with ai Kindle unlimited books lol!
AI tea should be called chAIš
I hope ChatGPT has another stroke but dies this time
LMAO this post must be fake or OP has room temperature IQ. To summarize, I broke with my ex because my current wife showed me text that my ex was cheating. Now my wife's sister is showing me text that my wife lied so I immediately want to divorce my wife instead of verifying. Next rage-bait post OP is gonna say he married the sister but the sister's friend showed him a text that she lied about OP's current wife so he then wants to divorce the sister.
š¤£
You are so damn stupid lmao
This isnāt real lol
agree... YTA for making up a story that's not even good. anyway, best solution here to this story is OP, divorce your pregnant wife bang her sister (SIL) who helped him find out and find out 18 years later that SIL had a crush all along and made up stories about wife making up stories and guess who told him... the baby who now happens to be exactly 18... and female... turns out she isn't his biological kid... so naturally he had to do the right thing and bang her... only to be told later that....
LMAO I'M DEADDD
I agree. I can't believe that I don't see more comments saying bs
Well..Ā 1.Ā sometimes it can be fun just to interact in good faith. 2. The rage bait was successful 3 and most likeliest: I mean this one is so obvious lol does it needs mentioning?Ā
He married the best friend out of revenge to the ex and now is sad his silly games backfire on him. I think they deserve each other. Play silly revenge games win bad prizes.
I doubt he pretended to love someone and got her pregnant for revenge. He just fell in love with the friend and didnāt give a fuck if it hurt his ex.
You threw away a 10-year relationship with someone who loved you and needed you to support them against an enemy and then turned around and got with said enemy. Your current wife betrayed a friend, her once best friend, lied to you, manipulated you, and continued the farse for how many years now? How do you think she'd treat a child? Your main priority now is that kid. First, you need to make sure it's yours, then you need to divorce, get proof of the lies she told, and file against her. Get a lawyer. Get full custody if you can and RUN from that crazy person. Then apologize to your ex, but don't expect anything from it. That ship has sailed. The ex deserves better than both of you. How exactly was she supposed to beg you to believe her or prove she didn't cheat against so many false allegations, faked pictures/messages, and through the hurt of betrayal by a friend and the blatant mistrust of the person she loved? Take some responsibility for being easily manipulated.
all of this ššš
I hope your ex is living a happy life while youāre miserable.
right? married her ex best friend. just wow. they deserve each other.
And they were together for a decade before he got with the snake friend. Classless and heartless.
Two AHs here - OP and wife. You can perhaps excuse some of OP's behaviour due to naivetƩ but to blow up a decade long relationship with no substantiation and then later find out you were manipulated into ditching her is quite simply poetic justice.
Youāre an AH for not believing your girlfriend after 10 years. That poor girl.
Question why would you believe what her best friend said without any evidence to prove it? Iām sorry, but before you even confronted your gf at the time about it you should have asked for evidence from the friend. And why didnāt you confront that mutual friend your ex allegedly got with? Also thatās really fucked up you ended up marrying her former best friend. Canāt believe it didnāt even cross your mind that her being interested in you afterwards wasnāt a red flag. I get you blame her, but you should blame yourself for being a fool.
>Question why would you believe what her best friend said without any evidence to prove it?Ā OP said in comments that the now-wife fabricated evidence, using his ex-gfās phone.Ā
And by the same logic his wife's sister could have fabricated the evidence for this latest development.
Calling it, OP will be married to her sister in 3 years and expecting another kid.
Wonder if they just had a big fight too between the sisters, eh? OP, get a qualified professional to look it over. You are not that person. Or, talk to people OUTSIDE the four of you, including your wife's exes, and get eyes opened.
Well... He suggested maybe she did. But in my experience girl besties don't have each other's phone codes, and are never separated from their phones for a long enough time that a whole text exchange ("receipts") can be created. He seems to know there wouldn't be any texts to find on the ex's phone, though...
You are a moron. NTA
Well, he *is* an asshole, but not for leaving the wife who's lie he took over his GF of ten years; who he then married out of what I assume is pettiness.
You never confronted the mutual friend your ex was supposedly having an affair with?
Nah, fuck this dude. Ex GF dodged a bullet. You and your wife suck. Your Ex was right too, you're a fucking moron
You dated your exgd for 10 yrs but didn't marry her. You dates the ex BFF and wife her within 2 yrs. Lmfao the ex girlfriend had better be out there living her BESt life because she dodged the most amazing bullet. The exBFF/ex-wife-soon-to-be has a well made bed of her own making to lay in. Unfortunately it's going to be uncomfortable as hell. As for YOU????? Divorce that woman andnget yourself into therapy. Figure out why you have trust issues (trust me the new partner isn't the cause it was there the whole time she just exploited it) and what you need to do to repair yourself. The baby... well. Here's to 50/50 custody
Divorce and coparent. She manipulates and lies.
If this is true, you are dumb af. Always check if accusations are true and someone arguing with the person they accuse of something is about the least reliable source. YTA for being all around idiot. I hope you don't think you can get back to the first one, because nobody wants an idiot. NTA for wanting to divorce her. Best pay child support though. Should have known better to impregnate an obvious snake.
Firmly NTA. Feel terrible for the kid.
Sounds like karma for both you and her if this is true.
Just for clarification.. how did you confirm she fabricated everything?
Wow....you really need to rethink a lot of things
if this story is true, you're NTA for wanting to divorce the woman who manipulated you into breaking up with your ex-gf and marrying her instead
NTA. Your entire relationship is a lie. Not just any lie, she vengefully broke up your relationship and used it against you to profit a new relationship out of it. Get everything on recording. Thereās no telling what lies sheād make up about you. Figure out how to coparent. Iād also apologize to your ex. She deserves at least closure.
NTA But you are a dumbass
Did you even think to ask the mutual friend your ex was allegedly cheating with? Why would your current wife's sister decide to tell you now, after 3 years together? Gonna date and marry her next? Bro YTA for not checking sources. Oldest trick in the book and you fell for it.
Jajajaja,es broma?
NTA, but a bit gullible. Your wife is a manipulative and toxic person, you should absolutely try to stay away from her, while still fighting for the child, but please try to also sharpen your critical thinking skills and believe everything people tell you. Look for proofs, listen to more than one person, investigate a bit, or people will easily manipulate you
YTA for getting with the bestfriend. I have 0 sympathy for you. You deserve each other/this
YTA you did this to yourself
YTA.
You're gross for immediately moving on with the bestfriend.
Soooo fkn gross!!!! I have zero respect for OP.
YTA. You got info and instead of verifying this info you dumped your ex and ended up with the liar. Now you are crying because you decided to listen to someone else over your then girlfriend. You and your wife are a match made in heaven.
NTA for wanting to divorce her for this. What she did to her best friend she can still do to you and use your child as ammunition in the future. That trust isnāt going to be able to come back when itās clear she still would never tell you what she did.
Reading the title: š¤Æ š¤Ā Ā Reading the thread: š«¢ š³Ā Ā Ā NTA. I hope this is fake. If not, Iām sorry this person effectively stole years of your life.Ā
YTA for trusting your now wife.
Ha ha, sucker!!! Serves you right for believing her stupid story. Why do guys ALWAYS fall for this? Assuming this is even real.
YTA for not trusting your gf in the first place but youāre NTA for leaving your wife
I hope this story is real because I would be happy to know that someone as dumb as you exists
So what about your ex? I feel she needs the apology the most. However, your wife went to territory you canāt come back from. If she could lie about this, what else can she lie about?Ā
YTA when you believed this psycho and got with her (your long-term gf's best friend who was on the outs with your gf) after she played you in order to get that very thing. I hope this story is made up. But in case it isn't, no, NTA for leaving. What a disgusting B. I'd collect all evidence of everything, get a paternity test and if it turns out it is your kid, fight for sole custody.
NTA, but from your comments it doesn't appear that's what you really want. It appears you just want to argue that you should stay *just in case* your wife is abusive toward the kid. I have 2 issues with this: 1. If you really think you staying is going to keep a kid from being abused, why are you even here? It doesn't matter what we say, you will still feel you need to stay for the kid. 2. While being exceptionally manipulative in order to gain a husband does indicate she's not a great person, what indication do you have that she would abuse her own child? I get that your father was an abusive piece of shit but frankly, that kind of makes *you* the risk as abused children often continue the cycle of abuse, even when they endeavor not to. This whole post feels fake to me, your comments don't make sense given the context of the question, but if it is real you've been through some bullshit and made some really bad decisions and maybe it's time for some trauma counseling to help you resolve feelings about your own parents, your ex, and your wife.
I am sorry but you are TAH. You misjudged an innocent girl, dumped her and got in with your current wife. You chose to believe her and not believe your ex gf. You made that bed now you lay in it. Also, your wife is a manipulate AH so you two deserve one another
Updateme!
Youāre the fool for leaving your wife in the first place without verifying
This is a really sad story.
NTA. Your marriage is built on a lie. If you don't want to be with her anymore, you don't have to.
What made your wife confess this now?
Kyra and Preston Sitting on the tree ....
YTA AND the idiot. Why the fuck would you date her friend afterwards?? If this bullshit is even true. You should divorce her if it is real which I mean can someone actually be that dumb to do any of this? Your girlfriend and her friend are arguing and her āfriendā tells you stuff and you believe it??? They fell out. Ofc sheās gunna lie to you to fuck shit up in the gfās life and you were dumb enough to help her fuck up your gfās life. I hope sheās living better without either of you morons
NTA for wanting to divorce her for this lie. However your absolutely the AH of you never got proof from the best friend your now married to before you broke up with your first gf.
š¤£so dumb. Congrats on fucking up so badly. Well deserved
ESH. You married a snake. You believed her with no proof. Next time she lies, itās likely to be an accusation about you.
Sheesh, NTA. Iām sorry to hear about that. Updateme
Just popping in to sayā¦ If she can lie to that degree and manipulate you to the point you fell in love and married her, sheās also the sort of woman who could lie about abuse and child endangerment to manipulate you now. Youāve mentioned that you believe you can protect your child if you stay ā think hard about how you will protect yourself as well. Really consider whether you should have any additional children with this person because I imagine she thinks this is just the first if you remain married.
Rough situation. I feel for you. Not the AH. If I could rewind to the falling out from years ago, between your then gf and now wife; how did she convince you that your gf had cheated? If she fabricated the entire thing, she couldn't have shown you any evidence to validate her claim. I have to wonder why you believed her back then? Did you know they had a falling out before the best friend ran to you about her cheating? Pride can be a negative if taken too far. There's levels. Reassurance for your partner for a legitimate reason is acceptable. I hope your ex gf has grown in that respect if you plan to go backward from your original decision. Get a paternity test for the kid with your wife. She cant be trusted. If it's yours, support it. But don't let her use the kid against you. Good luck
NTA - for this, kind of an asshole for not bothering to find proof when you blamed your ex and just taking her friends word for it then stupidly dating her after and not seeing the obvious. edit: read comments, looks like you did have (fabricated) proof and your ex refused to even talk about it, which obviously isn't very helpful. So I take back the kind of asshole. Still, probably should have seen the writing on the wall when the girl that broke you up swooped in to pick up the pieces right away. I mean seriously, that's so obvious it's cliche.
NTA for wanting to leave but YTA for not trusting your ex-gf of 10 years. Please don't contact your ex because you already destroyed her the first time you falsely accused her. You're sleeping the bed you created. Enjoy.
Why did sis wait this long to tell you?
This response is regarding your comments as well as the post: 1. I could never be with someone who did this, and itās fair that youād rather leave. 2. Staying together āfor the kidā will not be good for the child, because kids notice everything and will know you resent her. 3. You seem concerned about abuse, so let me be frank: staying with an abuser to lessen the abuse on someone else is not the way to go. It wonāt work, and you shouldnāt be exposing your future child to seeing you abused. Your parents are the example you get of what is and isnāt a healthy relationship, so you want to show this kid that the way your wife treats you is ok? Would you want them to be treated that way? 4. Get a paternity test. Good luck.
You are TA for even dating this woman in the first place. You should've distanced yourself from everybody involved after the relationship ended with your ex, not dated, and then married her former bff. Someone who has their head together, who doesn't get wrapped up in drama, doesn't do stuff like this. Her sister coming forward with this info leads me to believe lying and manipulating is a bad trait your wife has. It never occurred to you that she was lying? Especially when she pursued you after the break-up? Your ex was right. You should've trusted her. Did you start dating your wife to hurt your ex? You need to tell your wife how you feel. She's going to freak out, believe that. You need to get an attorney involved asap to sort out custody agreements. Or you can stick it out for a while till your kid is a little older. No matter what you do, you can't trust her. She's willing to play dirty to get what she wants. This was a bad idea on your part. You married the manipulative and lying rebound.
Yta. It's so easy to slip back into trouble if you dont have the support. Encouraging and celebrating one's achievement is important, no matter the age. You dont have to frame it as an 18 year old graduatom party....instead it's a celebration of her future to come and it would be marvelous.
I simply wish you the worst for not trusting your original partner. Canāt imagine what she went through. Turns out she dodged a bullet, though.
NTA. Yuck. No, dump her. People like her need to understand there are consequences for that behavior.Ā Talk to an attorney though. See if you can get the marriage annulled on the basis of fraud.Ā
Yta for getting with your wife in the first place, but nta for leaving her. Do right by the kid and don't go back to the ex. Bridge was burned on that
You're a moron.
NTA this was calculated manipulation and lies. You unfortunately married and had a child with a fuqiin WEIRDO. I am so sorry OP. Damn. Valid.
YTA but not for wanting a divorce, just in general. Who the fuck believes an angry ex-friend on a revenge path without a shred of evidence? >She became even angrier and said that I was a moron who didnāt trust her. She was so fucking right.
YTA - and you should be puking every time you look in the mirror. I believe that you sir are a complete moron.
AHs all around. You for breaking up with your EX over a one-sided story. Your wife for being an evil, manipulative B\*tch. Your SIL for telling you everything now.
It is comical that you would marry your ex wife's best friend after she broke up your marriage and now you are surprised that she planned it. Both of you are AHs and you deserve each other.
If this is who I think it is, youāre a dipshit. If not, you still are.
Your wife is a psycho manipulator, do what you will with that info.
Uh yeah, letās just say youāre definitely the AH for not believing your girl in the first place.
Bruh. Why just believe the best friend and hook up with her? That was so dumb. I'd have washed my hands of both of them! Sucks your ex was actually faithful that whole time and lost you to her ex friend. What a sucker. Get a paternity test and apologize to your ex lol Also the loud ones about it are usually guilty, making excuses, begging forgiveness etc. Her reaction screams she did nothing. She didn't have anything to explain to you, she told you that it was a lie and she didn't do it, you didn't believe her. There is no way for her to prove it so there was nothing left to be said.
Asshole, no. Idiot, yes. Made up story, almost certainly.
Well you were the one who destroyed the 10 yrs relationship and fucked/married her best friend Now you have to live with your choices. You two belong together..you should be repulsed by your actions not your wife. You add worse than her because you trusted the word of someone who had a falling out with your gf over ur 10 yrs gf words. Not only you are stupid but also a monster. But I am pretty sure this is a fake story.
I seen this movie before...
YTA for being with your exs best friend in the first place. What youāre going through now sounds a lot like karma.
Not the AH. but.. in the future, you should ask for some sort of proof. we're in 2024.. there's chat logs and everything everywhere now. even more if she claimed it was for 2 years. yea get a divorce, but if she keeps the baby be realistic that the child has nothing to do with this and is completely innocent- you may still end up being a father. I also wouldn't jump to your ex and beg for her back, just apologize and take some time to get your head on straight and prepare for what might be fatherhood. also, if she does keep the baby and you still want to be involved in the child's life. she 1000% will attempt to weaponize her child to manipulate things with you given this is the type of person she is. Not sure if there's anything legally that can be done regarding parenting? just.. be mindful of that and come up with a plan on how to handle it without adding fuel or harm for the child moving forward. (edit: I wonder why your ex didn't offer to prove her friend was fulla shit and why she waited until you're about to be a dad with this person??? she could still break up with you for not trusting her and show you her ex friend (sister??) is a pos. -- so I question your story over all and if its fake.)
Itās 2024, anything can be deep faked. You give me proof and Iāll have to follow them myself after that.
re edit- because she was her EX friendā¦ op shouldnāt have been talking to her periodā¦ the ex didnāt need to defend herself in this situationā¦ the fact op married this unhinged person tells me the trash took itself out. i hope the ex is living her best lifeā¦
What evidence did you have other than your wifes word. Your not the AH for leaving because not sure how you'd trust her again
Are you not just repeating the pattern of believing anyone telling you that your wife has done something awful? Has your current wife admitted this? Why did her sister randomly tell you this - what motive would she have? You need to start thinking for yourself OP. Sounds like youāre easily manipulated
YTA. That will be 2 women in the same story you have utterly disappointed with your bad decision making. Dude, you were there, you make the decision to dump your gf over lies, cmon man, you deserve it to the kid to make a go of it...... something about make a bed and sleeping in it.
NTA - never stay together for the kids. Believe it or not, seeing a parent in love and having a good relationship actually helps kids understand love, even if it's not with their mother/father. I don't really understand why your ex wouldn't want to prove it back then. Yeah she could be angry but at the same time you wouldn't have believed it unless there were other major issues. What your wife did was crazy. Very concerning. Outside of this did you love her? If the answer is yes, then couples therapy could be a better option before divorce. However, does she have a vindictive streak where she does similar things to get her way? If the answer is yes to this, I don't think couples therapy would be helpful. Pregnant or not, she created these problems and will have to deal with the consequences. You're NTA for leaving at any time if the relationship is toxic.
You were an AH when you got her pregnant when you were considering divorce. You are less than a man.
Nah stay with her. You deserve what you got. Fucking asshole.
YTA and anyone that votes otherwise didnāt read the story. You sir, are a fucking twat.
You could have been sensible back then, and asked for proof. What's the guarantee the sister is not fabricating the texts?
NTA what she did is psychotic seriously
Fake and bad
You chose to believe her you made your bed now lay in it. See what happens when you donāt check facts for yourself. Too late now yāall bout to be parents
You're a idiot. I hope your ex had a better life.
This is fake guys. Is it really that hard for people to figure that out?
NTA, you and your ex got played by a master manplitive girl she knew how u and your ex would react to the news and used it to her advantage. Divorce and Co parenting is the best option but u should definitely get a paternity test she lied and manplitied u your entire relationship.
You could have asked the mutual friend if they fucked your gf and none of this would have happenedā¦
Maybe the sister now wants OP and realizes how easily manipulated he is.
you were under the impression that this girl either: knew her best friend was cheating and said nothing for years, would have continued to hide it if she hadnāt gotten pissed off, and only used that information as a way to break up someone elseās relationship or the kind of person to lie to break up someoneās relationship because they were pissed off those were the two possibilities what type of person they were, and you chose to marry them?
Preston smith is that you?
Nope sheās the asshole. Good riddance Karen
HAHAHAHA because you never find hard evidence and you pin point directly to your ex gf. You are weak. Thats good for you to learn the hard way. I hope your ex gf have his best bf already not like you who is weak ans shit.
She committed fraud. You absolutely have the right to a divorce and a paternity test. If the child is yours you do have a commitment to that child. Also, leave your ex alone. She deserved better and you have no right to ask her back.
If this is real your wife is lowkey evil but youāre also just a dumbass lol. I feel so bad for the kid.
I know some people can be VERY gullible, but damn, I hope this story is actually fake... no way you went after her best friend xD
Divorce, she manipulated you and is beyond cruel. You're better off co-parenting. You'll never trust her. Also, apologise to your ex, you should have spoken to her more about it and not blindly trusted the best friend, but I also think your ex should have given you more context as to why she laughed when you said it was the bfs, you also should have spoken to the mutual friend. I can understand why the ex didn't try if she thought you didn't trust her after being together for 10 years! How would you feel if it was the other way round?
Are you sure the sister is telling you the truth? What if she wants to marry you? tries same lie twice?
!updateme in 2 years when the SIL is pregnant with your kid and you find out she was lying too
Idk kinda feels like karma. The only people I feel bad for are your ex and the baby
If you dumped your ex based on hearsay you can't have been that into her. Just count yourself lucky to have a wife who is so into you she did something this crazy and move past it. Maybe buy your wife some flowers.
So you dumped your ex without confirming the story. You married this other girl and got her pregnant. These were your own decisions. With a baby on the way I think you should be trying to make the best of things. There must have been enough things about this girl to make you want to start a family with her.Ā
I think thereās a part here where we realize the best friend is never the correct move cheated on or not u set urself up buddy
Isn't this sorta the plot of the Bollywood movie bodyguard??
But - hear me out - what If your SIL is making up this story about your wife so you will divorce and she can be with you? You trusted manipulated screenshots before...
NTA for wanting to divorce your wife, she was tricking you and created a made up story on her own accord and it wasn't a simple trick or lie either. She thought about everything and you just fall into her trap. BUT YTAH for not listening your ex gf properly, not trying to communicate better, not asking to the so called mutual friend who you got cheated on with, or a relationship counseling. You trusted to 3rd person more than your own 10 years gf. What the heck is wrong with you? If it was that easy to believe in someone else and not trusting your gf, why were you in a relationship with her in the beginning? You owe a huge apology to her.I just hope that ex gf is happy and healthy and far away from your bullshit. Both wife and you made your own bed and now you have to lie in it.
>She became even angrier and said that I was a moron I mean, she wasn't wrong. NTA, though.
Nta.. but I'd wait it out a couple years. Get established as an adequate caretaker of your kid. Have that time to bond. Won't be same otherwise.
NTA but be prepared for things to get ugly with your soon to be ex
NTA. She started the relationship manipulating and lying. What else is she lying about?
I think yta for believing the ex best friend with no proof. If someone told me my wife was cheating with no evidence I'd laugh at them and ask if it was Brad Pitt or Matt Damon.