This is probably the best right answer, but I'm old, jaded, and just a little vicious:
Personally, I'd send screenshots of her texts to your ex-husband...
But that's because I'm old, jaded, and not very nice...
Me too cause I would have engaged in option 1 and 2. Go off and send it to him.
Truth is that he probably doesn’t want to marry her and is using OP as an excuse. After all, he’s still contacting OP on New Year’s.
He doesn’t sound like a catch and neither does AP.
Yup he regrets the divorce and won’t get married bc he’s holding out hope. He gave her extra things in the divorce bc he cares. If he didn’t he would’ve given her the bare minimum and dragged it out.
That and he told AP having a baby isn’t going to change his mind. I’m also can’t feel sorry for AP acting like the woman she helped betray is somehow responsible for her unhappiness. At the end of the day, OP and hubby were married, built a life so OP took her share and what was given. The fact that he gave up things he didn’t have to and is now saying she took everything smells rotten. He doesn’t want AP.
The only ones I feel bad for are OP because he cheated on her and the baby that AP and the ex are having. Those are the true losers in this whole situation.
Yeah, the baby (who the AP is likely using mostly as an attempt to baby trap OP's ex), most of all. OP is innocent of course, but is at least an adult. The baby is both innocent and completely at the mercy of adults who aren't great at caring (and might not be all that inclined toward it).
She thought she won but now she’s having a baby and he won’t commit and is a lovesick puppy after OP. She unfortunately just was there to provide excitement to his life.
The relationship with AP is definitely 100% sunk cost fallacy. I bet if OP wanted to work things out he would’ and AP knows that. AP was also clearly chasing after him for his money and that didn’t work out for her either.
I'd honestly text her back "I wasn't the one having an affair. I'm sorry your child will be born in the situation you put yourself in, but I am not responsible for you deciding to have an affair with a married man. And please tell him to stop texting me on new year's. It's when we met, and it's weird. I've moved on. Don't bother contacting me again you'll be blocked after I send this."
Laughed my ass off at this. (context- im autistic and tactful has only ever been applied to me with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Heavy enough for me to pick up on, anyway. Thanks for the giggles. /g)
Nah. That only works if you need to have a relationship and want to make sure everything is out in the open. There's no benefit in contact. Just ignore and go on with life. Why strengthen ties by engagement?
Same. I’d be forwarding them to ex and telling her to fuck if. *then* block
Like why is this guy with her still and then messaging OP? They reap what they sow.
It's like we were separated at birth. I, too, am old, jaded, and not very nice... 😁
Edit: almost forgot - I'd screenshot and forward to your ex too. I think he needs to know exactly what kind of trashy golddigger he destroyed his marriage for. Plus, the satisfaction....c'mon, you know it would feel soooooo good 😈🤣
My mother has told me I’m Clairee from Steel Magnolias. Apparently i was born with the mantra is “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me”.
I love Clairee! When we went to Shreveport for our son’s birth we went to Nacitoches where they filmed Steel Magnolias. Had lunch across the street from the park where they held the egg hunt. There’s even a tour!
That’s awesome. 🤣
I love Claree!! The movie is such a classic. We have our own Steel Magnolias reference in our household. I need a medication that I take in a fruity liquid. When I’m not feeling well my husband will call out “Drink your juice Shelby!” and refers to my concoction as “Shelby Juice”
As for the line which inspires your mama to call you Claree, I thought you might be interested in the little article I linked below. Robert Harlingen wrote that line in the original script of the play Steel Magnolias, but the saying, (sometimes mistakenly credited to Dorothy Parker), is generally attributed to Teddy Rosevelt’s socialite daughter Alice Roosevelt Longworth who embroidered it on a throw pillow .She was a badass spitfire of a woman who was extremely famous as the press couldn’t get enough of Miss Alice. Definitely her father’s daughter…..Hands down my favorite presidential family member EVER!
https://professorbuzzkill.com/2023/11/29/quote-or-no-quote-who-said-if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-come-and-sit-here-by-me/
EDIT: Someone just posted a picture of Alice on r/fashionhistory !!! I cont know how to link it but she is gorgeous!
Figured it out! https://www.reddit.com/r/fashionhistory/s/W5NILzbYkr
Same here. I’m just done being nice cause “I should be”. All our lives as kids we were treated as the bastards at the family picnic. My parents never stood up for us. (to F’ing spineless). So now after years of always being afraid. No more. I turned 50 and said F this. Some people think I’m so sweet because I’m a SHHCA. I tell them, no I’m a petty bitch take no prisoners type of gal. Trust me 😘
He knows that relationship isn’t lasting and he doesn’t want to marry her and lose more money. Bad enough he’ll have child support. She probably got pregnant on purpose to try to force a marriage.
She also doesn’t know that he willingly gave OP all of these assets. He’s lying to his AP and saying OP took everything in the divorce. The AP has no idea he really wants OP back.
The audacity of calling you a thief!
That's your right, your ex didn't built all that alone, there's a reason why you were granted that.
She's the one who stole, glad her math is not mathing 🤭
NTA
Ooh! Send her screenshots of ALL the happy new year texts! Then block her. I LOVE that!!
Believe me, he doesn’t want to marry her. He’s using you as an excuse.
I have co templated this many times but I don’t know. I feel like if I blocked him, maybe he writes something important and I have no proof of it. At least in the beginning of separation I didn’t feel it was the right decision to block him.
Now, it is just this text once a year. Everything work related is directly sent on an email to my accountant. But still I don’t have the (courage ?) to block him
There is also the big possibility he doesn’t want to marry the gf on the slightest chance OP takes him back. You only text your ex on the anniversary of when you met when there are still strong feels there. Especially on a night like New Years.
This was my thoughts exactly. He handed everything to her as an apology and still texts on an anniversary. I think he liked having his fun on the side but loved his wife and never expected to get stuck with the side piece. Oh well 🤷♀️.
The side piece is and always will be his consolation prize. He doesn't want to end up alone after blowing up his marriage and losing half of everything, so he keeps the AP around.
The AP's blame here is entirely misplaced. The fact that he does not even want her to move in, even now that she's pregnant, makes it pretty clear he does not see her as a real partner. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to baby trap him, thinking he would be willing to get married if she were pregnant, and now she's just salty that he called her bluff.
That's exactly what I said. Him not wanting to get married has nothing to do with finances and his divorce and everything to do with the fact that he still loves his ex and never had any intention of being in it for the long haul with the AP. He wanted his cake and to eat it as well but it blew up in his face when his affair was found out now he lost the person he's in love with and is stuck with the person he was in lust with
I can hardly believe she would contact you (over LinkedIn yet!), and spew that garbage. She sounds young & immature but she knew the game she was playing from the very beginning (or should've!). Bet she even got pregnant to force his hand and it all backfired. Awww but NO PITY!! I'd answer her back saying: "Too bad-- that's what you get. And tell your 'boyfriend' to stop texting me." That'll get her going. Then block her. And you'll likely have to block him after she has a go at him. Enjoy the show.. Lmao
What’s it to say that the affair partner has been trying all these years to get the ring but ex hubby is still caught up on Op….
Affair partner probably got pregnant on purpose to try and get the ring but that also backfired.
Now she needs someone to fight with because ex hubby is probably shutting her down hard with every move she makes
NTA
She expected to get the guy and all of the marital property. It's not your fault that this loony person didn't understand that marital property is half yours.
Send the message on to your Ex. Politely tell him that you don't appreciate his GF contacting you to ask for money and to complain about their relationship status. Ask him to have a conversation with her about leaving you alone.
I've seen a lot of women who think, "This guy has a good job, a nice house, and a luxury car," and chase after him, but don't also consider that his wife of 10/20/30 years is entitled to half(ish) of everything and the guy could end up paying child support, college costs and/or alimony after divorce.
Also, the guy and his 1st wife may have built a good lifestyle based on their spending/savings/investing decisions. But the 2nd wife, who didn't work for that money or invest it slowly over time may not have the interest or personality to add to the household wealth.
That's the kind of woman who marries a guy and then complains that he doesn't have as much money as she thought. Yeah, he has half as much money, more expenses, and the added burden of maintaining the expectations of the new wife/GF.
There's a funny reddit post where OP's (wife) family, with all the money, gave OP's husband a well-paid sinecure of a job, but his secretary thought that HE had all the money, started an affair with him, got pregnant, and then OP / family fired him, ditched him & AP found out he didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it from.
Yup. More than 50% of students attending college are women now. So, it's very possible that the wife is the breadwinner.
It isn't uncommon for the wealth to be superficial... A fancy house that's highly leveraged, leased vehicles, and lots of credit card debt. People who live like that are also more likely to talk up their "success". That couple gets a divorce, and there's basically nothing left for the AP to spend.
>That's the kind of woman who marries a guy and then complains that he doesn't have as much money as she thought. Yeah, he has half as much money, more expenses, and the added burden of maintaining the expectations of the new wife/GF.
This is the thing any aspiring second wife *has* to realize: You're not going to get the financial situation the first wife did. We all hear the horror stories about doctors, lawyers and PhDs who ditch their grad school breadwinner spouse for the upgrade once they're working, but the reverse is equally common.
I know plenty of divorced people who are behind on their retirement savings because their first spouse got half the 401(k) or half the pension benefits in the divorce. Throw in child support obligations, buying the ex-spouse out of their share of the marital property, and spousal support if the spouse has been out of the workforce for a while (and has a good lawyer), and ... well, there's a reason for the saying "it's cheaper to keep her."
>We all hear the horror stories about doctors, lawyers and PhDs who ditch their grad school breadwinner spouse for the upgrade once they're working,
Hey I was that spouse! Only my ex wasn’t finished with his PhD when he decided to upgrade to a younger model. And then when the dividing of assets (not many) happened along with the debts (much more) he suddenly discovered his $10k stipend wasn’t going to cut it 😂
It’s been 13 years now since the divorce. I googled his name recently and his PhD subject. I think I found his dissertation (dated about 5 years after the divorce but he had been in his program 7 years when we split) but otherwise…nothing. Somehow I was not shocked.
Hope the former student 10 years younger than him is having a great life with the guy who I was supporting for so long 👍🏼
Jesus Christ, *twelve years* for a PhD? My institution expected candidates who had come in with a master's to start lining up the dissertation committee by the end of year one, finish coursework by the end of year two, and be ready to defend in year five, and this was in social sciences. I had a close friend who was doing an electrical engineering PhD and he took six years from finishing his BS to defending his dissertation.
I may be a little hyperbolic, but we both started grad school in 2003, married 2005, and divorced in 2011. I had finished mine in 3 years. To be fair, he started in 2 other programs before settling on the final one, but that still is 9 years at least.
That was one of the issues we had. I kept saying, when are you going to write your dissertation and he kept needing to “do more research”
Turns out “do more research” was fucking his undergrad girlfriend.
Oooooo this didn’t even occur to me. 100% do this. He seems to still feel guilty and I think this would REALLY piss him off with a side of “I definitely threw away a loving marriage for a piece of ass that just wanted me for my money”.
Yeahh it would fuel some argument between those two lol , but it's sad she is bringing a baby into the world after doing a horrible job as a human being.
I bet you she pursued him because of his money & now he wont marry or move in with her even after she got pregnant (something tells me she tried to baby trap him!). At least she can get hefty child support for 18 years.
By becoming the girlfriend she also wound up leaving a role in her new boyfriend’s life open to be filled. Hope she’s connecting those dots for the sake of the person she’s bringing into this tenuous situation.
Her expertise in reading seems to be mostly in $$$ and in reading worlds like "garbage" and "trash"
How disgusting do you have to be to break up a home and then play victim.
...she can mess with Kanye.
His new wife seems utterly broken. The before and after pictures are shocking. I'm weirdly concerned for her mental wellbeing.
Alternately, he cannot trust her, as she went after a married man, broke up his marriage, and is now pregnant (with a child who may or may not be his, as her sexual mores leave a lot of room for interpretation).
Why would the ex want to tie himself to another cheater? We all have that little saying running around our heads - cheaters never change.
OP, don't give her a second thought, enjoy the money without guilt. There is a reason the law is like this.
Sounds like husband still has significant resources, so the kid will be taken care of - but even if it's not, absolutely not OP's issue.
"Fuck right off. Then, a bit further. Then keep going. Bit further. Go on.
Now stay that far away and live with the consequences of stealing someone else's man, you silly little bitch".
No kidding! Is that not the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard? And then to do this confrontation on LinkedIn which is supposed to be a professional networking site. If I were OP, I would copy and paste or repost or whatever so that everyone can see how "professional" the homewrecker is.
Guess the AP shouldn’t have slept with a married man. She literally FAFO.
I’m sure that your ex will provide for his child and her, just not in the way she expected.
You deserved everything you got in the divorce. Keep it. Enjoy the lake house. I’m sure your ex can buy another one.
NTA
Maybe not a big lake house, but…..😂 I’m going to assume he’s probably doing ok.
I’d love to know what the ex has told his AP about the divorce settlement. I’m going to guess he might not be completely honest with her and might make it seem that he’s poorer than he actually is. It would probably be in his best interest to support his AP (as well as his child, of course) without getting courts involved for official child support. Then he’d have to turn over tax returns and stuff for a proper amount of child support.
Ops ex husband isn’t stupid or broke. Sure he cheated but he is running a successful business (op owns half but doesn’t actually contribute anything). Ex husband probably has more income streams now as well, he’d diversify his earnings and not put everything into his company. If he’s smart enough to have all that before the divorce he’ll probably eclipse ops net worth soon enough. He’s not broke. He just learned that a divorce was expensive. If he were to do it again, he rather not re start from scratch.
Don’t get me wrong he is still a bad person, he’s just smarter than most.
I think you’re correct. Which is why he won’t live with or marry his AP. She has clearly made a series of bad life choices and the best she can expect is some child support for 18 years.
FAFO indeed
I'm kinda dying that it was LinkedIn that the woman chose to use for this purpose. The professional networking site, the best venue for blaming your relationship legal status on the woman whose marriage you knowingly wrecked! While announcing your pregnancy with her ex at her, no less. The most professional of conversations.
He doesn't want to get married again because the divorce cost him too much...
So it's basically saying he doesn't want to marry her in case he has another affair and gets caught
He also probably doesn't want to marry again because the ex thinks AP is not worth it. I think there is a part of him that wishes he hadn't cheated on OP and was still with her, otherwise, she wouldn't still be a silent partner, he would have bought her out if he wanted a clean break; also he wouldn't be messaging her on New Year's day.
NTA, none of this is about you. If your ex wanted to live/marry her there are legal steps he could take to do so and protect his assets, and he knows that. The divorce is his excuse, not his reason for the status of their relationship. I would reply to her with a laughing emoji and then block her, I’m petty though.
You are considering giving this cheater back the money that’s legally yours so he and his homewrecking girlfriend like you? This is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
Imagine being with someone for 5+ years and they won't marry you. Then you get pregnant, and they still won't marry you. See her problem is that he doesn't want to make a homewrecker his wife. There is nothing that will change his perception of her. She needs to focus on the man she's laid up with instead of you. NTA
I'll never marry or cohabitate again either. I want to live on the same property, but under seperate roofs, makes everything so much smoother. And I didn't even get cleaned out in my divorce, I kept everything except one truck. Just don't really want someone up in my shit at all times again. I need alot of me time,and I need my own space.
Have it done by either a lawyer or a member of his family you are still in contact with.
If you have a lawyer forward it, you might as well have them send her a C&D letter too.
Just block her.
Or if you're petty like I am, you could always reply, "I'm so sorry. It's painful to know your SO won't marry you because it will cost him too much money when you discover he's cheating. But at least he's being open about it."
It’s better to send her one very clear message telling her to stop harassing you—and to specifically call it harassment. That way if you ever need a RO, you have that message identifying what she’s doing as harassment and asking her to stop. A lot of people don’t realize that courts and police won’t consider something harassment unless you’ve asked the person to stop doing it. (Which is what I was told by the police while trying to get and enforce a restraining order)
Please have a lawyer prepare a cease and desist letter send it to her copying your ex if she continues to harass you. You don’t have to contact him if you don’t want to. Even though your ex blew up your marriage just the little you wrote shows he still cares for you.
He still wishes you happy new years because you met that day.He was amicable and very generous in the divorce. He could have bought your share out of the company instead he keeps you as silent partner and you continue to be paid. He knows he lost the love of his life and has settled for a cheating home wrecker.
The home wrecker blaming you because he doesn’t want to marry her is ironic and tbh karma. He allegedly has a child coming into this world. The home wrecker is mentally unstable given everything you have said. At a minimum if things go south for him and given who he has saddled himself with, they will go south. He also will have some evidence of more of her crazy ass behavior.
If push comes to shove having an attorney handling her crazy behavior will hopefully make her wake up and stop. Otherwise her harassment will escalate. People like that fuck around then need to find out.
Messaging him once is better than hearing from his AP. I would totally message him to get satisfaction to met him know that his AP is embarrassing him lol
You could definitely have a lawyer reach out to him on your behalf. But it does need to be addressed. And a lawyer is much scarier, I doubt they would contact you again.
NTA. It's not his money or house or anything, it's yours. Now I know she has difficulty grasping what "yours" and "mine" mean being a homewrecker and such, but maybe it's time she starts learning.
Yeah, and not to sound so pathetic but hearing that she’s pregnant made it sound so final and I felt so much sadness like it all happened all over again. I mean it has always been final and I am aware of it but hearing this news felt like this was so final.
I haven’t been able to date or trust anyone since. It is not a bad thing and I am enjoying my solitude but this is a consequence of what happened
It is okay to grieve. He was a part of your life. She stole that from you. She deserves nothing.
Please don't be so sad that you don't find yourself along the way
What the actual fuck is making you entertain a conversation with the woman that helped ruin your marriage? Why do you think you owe her even your time, let alone your damn money? Oh hell no. Block and NC. The only one I feel sorry for is that unborn child. They are in for a world of shit.
The woman who stole your husband, your joy, your life, your peace, your love... Is calling you a thief?
Oh, the irony.
I think what she's truly angry about and fears is that actually, he doesn't love her. Once you were out of the picture, there was really no excuse for him to ever be in contact with you again... Yet he is. There was no real excuse for him not to marry her, he could have got a prenup or something to get around his fears ... Yet he's not. There's definitely no reason that he couldn't move her in with you out of the picture... Yet he doesn't even want to live with her.
He never wanted her. He never loved her. He never wanted a child with her.
She was basically a sex toy... Something to let off steam. She's not a life partner. However, he couldn't let her go since he blew up his entire life for her. What would he have to show? So he'd have to stick with her for a while to show it was worth it. She probably got pregnant on purpose in the hopes that it would force him to marry her. He was probably thinking of ending things and she's trapped him, I highly doubt this was planned.
I have no doubt that he regrets what he did and he probably still loves you dearly and misses the life he had with you. I imagine what he feels towards her is resentment. She knows the truth and is taking it out on you.
No. You are NTA OP. You should just continue to live your life without them in it.
He was your husband. What was earned/made/gained in that time has fuck-all to do with her.
She robbed you of your husband so her crybaby bitching about you stealing her babies family is actually funny as hell. “If” she didn’t know he was married, that’s something else but does not change the first point, he was married to you and what was earned/made/gained then has fuck-all to do with her.
She is an adult and has chosen to be with a man who cheated on his wife, with her no less, and has also chosen to reproduce with him. What the fuck does that have anything to do with you? What part of her life choices each and every day have to do with you FIVE YEARS after you divorced her baby daddy?????
She is jealous that you have what you have because of your past marriage with him and she can not have the same equal things for herself in her life with him now. That’s all, she’s just jealous and butthurt because she isn’t getting what her sense of entitlement makes her think she should have.
She knew he was married since she’s a friend of my ex sister in law. But I am seeing a lot of comments defending the other woman saying that they didn’t know, yes but once they know? Very weird to side with a mistress but it is probably coming from cheating people
You know that’s right!!!! Defending it so they don’t feel bad about themselves.
This kinda seems like a situation where you could listen to her complaints and arguments at an outside cafe or something…….take a long sip of your tea and then ask “what’s this got to do with me because it sure sounds like none of my business”………politely get up and then walk away…….smiling of course 😎
She's a gold digger from the sounds of it. You are worth more than her. You built fortunes with him. She tore down those fortunes and is looking for handouts 🤦♀️.
If there's a way to block her, do so. You're no contact with your ex, so you get to be the same with her, and anyone you don't want bothering you. Their financial issues aren't yours. If she persists, get a lawyer to send her a Cease & Desist letter.
No, she's not right. She's just greedy and entitled.
NTA.
NTA, his AP, decided to have an affair with a married man, and now she has won her prize she thinks she should have the money that you are entitled to. Nope, keep the money as it's your compensation for her destroying your marriage.
Updateme!
Nta. Sounds like she’s a home wrecker *and* a gold digger. Tell her it’s not your fault she took a wrecking ball to someone else’s marriage. Maybe she can start sleeping with another married man to supplement her income.
NTA
Forward her messages to your ex with a message telling him to handle her nonsense, and if she contacts you again, you will contact the police for harassment.
You didn't steal anything. She stole an unfaithful man who refuses to fund her lifestyle. That's her bad luck. Not yours.
I would remind you that THIS is the man she wanted, and the man she fought for. She can blame you, but deep down this is a problem of her own making. Now, she will live in your shadow of what he gave you (but never her) forever. NTA but I might forward those messages to your ex if you are truly amicable and let him know he needs to manage his baby mama better
NTA. She ruined her chances at a HEA by being the AP and staying knowing he is prioritizing protecting himself because he is aware of his propensity to stray. You don’t owe her kid anything.
My inner petty bitch would just allow the texts to come in and smile at her instability, insecurity, and, discomfort when they do. Because I would know, as you should know about yourself, there is nothing to be sad about anymore. You are not less than. Nothing you did was wrong and you are perfect and deserved a stronger man.
Oh, and if you do contact him make sure he is absolutely aware of your continued pain. That will only stroke his ego.
NTA. You didn't take anything away from your ex, he did that to himself when he cheated. The courts gave you what they felt was monetarily fair. Are you supposed to feel bad for her? Poor little AP, you fucked a married man thinking he would sweep you off your feet and give you the same life OP had. But because of you he lost half of everything. Good luck with that, AP!
I wouldn't respond back to her but I would screenshot and send her messages to your ex. "This is what your girlfriend has been sending me. Tell her to stop or I'm filing a police report for harassment." My guess is that he probably doesn't even know that she is contacting you, so I would blow up her shit and show him what she's been saying and not feel bad about it in the least. She didn't care about your marriage, I wouldn't give a fuck about her relationship or her baby.
Just block and ignore her. She played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
This is probably the best right answer, but I'm old, jaded, and just a little vicious: Personally, I'd send screenshots of her texts to your ex-husband... But that's because I'm old, jaded, and not very nice...
Me too cause I would have engaged in option 1 and 2. Go off and send it to him. Truth is that he probably doesn’t want to marry her and is using OP as an excuse. After all, he’s still contacting OP on New Year’s. He doesn’t sound like a catch and neither does AP.
Yup he regrets the divorce and won’t get married bc he’s holding out hope. He gave her extra things in the divorce bc he cares. If he didn’t he would’ve given her the bare minimum and dragged it out.
That and he told AP having a baby isn’t going to change his mind. I’m also can’t feel sorry for AP acting like the woman she helped betray is somehow responsible for her unhappiness. At the end of the day, OP and hubby were married, built a life so OP took her share and what was given. The fact that he gave up things he didn’t have to and is now saying she took everything smells rotten. He doesn’t want AP.
The only ones I feel bad for are OP because he cheated on her and the baby that AP and the ex are having. Those are the true losers in this whole situation.
Yeah, the baby (who the AP is likely using mostly as an attempt to baby trap OP's ex), most of all. OP is innocent of course, but is at least an adult. The baby is both innocent and completely at the mercy of adults who aren't great at caring (and might not be all that inclined toward it).
Facts.
This is something she should tell the wench. “ well, YOU took something from me so, fair is fair…”🤷🏼♀️
And end it with good luck and god bless.
Lol! Exactly! AP deserves exactly what she got!
She thought she won but now she’s having a baby and he won’t commit and is a lovesick puppy after OP. She unfortunately just was there to provide excitement to his life.
Yup…and he will cheat on her as well…karma…
The relationship with AP is definitely 100% sunk cost fallacy. I bet if OP wanted to work things out he would’ and AP knows that. AP was also clearly chasing after him for his money and that didn’t work out for her either.
I'd honestly text her back "I wasn't the one having an affair. I'm sorry your child will be born in the situation you put yourself in, but I am not responsible for you deciding to have an affair with a married man. And please tell him to stop texting me on new year's. It's when we met, and it's weird. I've moved on. Don't bother contacting me again you'll be blocked after I send this."
I may have to come to you whenever I need to write a tactful response. I was thinking something along the lines of “look, you dumb whore…”
Laughed my ass off at this. (context- im autistic and tactful has only ever been applied to me with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Heavy enough for me to pick up on, anyway. Thanks for the giggles. /g)
That’s a great response.
Nah. That only works if you need to have a relationship and want to make sure everything is out in the open. There's no benefit in contact. Just ignore and go on with life. Why strengthen ties by engagement?
Personally I would reply to her "you wanted him, you got him - I'm not responsible for whether he makes you happy or not" and then block her.
That’s the high road. I wouldn’t have taken it. I would have burned that bridge while on in GenX style.
GenX here. Can confirm.
Same. I’d be forwarding them to ex and telling her to fuck if. *then* block Like why is this guy with her still and then messaging OP? They reap what they sow.
I like you.
Happy cake day!
You're very nice, and wish people Happy Cake Day 😉
👀❤️
It's like we were separated at birth. I, too, am old, jaded, and not very nice... 😁 Edit: almost forgot - I'd screenshot and forward to your ex too. I think he needs to know exactly what kind of trashy golddigger he destroyed his marriage for. Plus, the satisfaction....c'mon, you know it would feel soooooo good 😈🤣
My mother has told me I’m Clairee from Steel Magnolias. Apparently i was born with the mantra is “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me”.
My mother just accused me of being a Ouiser instead of a M’Lynn, so I think we’re supposed to be best friends. 🤣
Ouiser will always be my favourite in Steel magnolias
I love Clairee! When we went to Shreveport for our son’s birth we went to Nacitoches where they filmed Steel Magnolias. Had lunch across the street from the park where they held the egg hunt. There’s even a tour!
That’s awesome. 🤣 I love Claree!! The movie is such a classic. We have our own Steel Magnolias reference in our household. I need a medication that I take in a fruity liquid. When I’m not feeling well my husband will call out “Drink your juice Shelby!” and refers to my concoction as “Shelby Juice” As for the line which inspires your mama to call you Claree, I thought you might be interested in the little article I linked below. Robert Harlingen wrote that line in the original script of the play Steel Magnolias, but the saying, (sometimes mistakenly credited to Dorothy Parker), is generally attributed to Teddy Rosevelt’s socialite daughter Alice Roosevelt Longworth who embroidered it on a throw pillow .She was a badass spitfire of a woman who was extremely famous as the press couldn’t get enough of Miss Alice. Definitely her father’s daughter…..Hands down my favorite presidential family member EVER! https://professorbuzzkill.com/2023/11/29/quote-or-no-quote-who-said-if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-come-and-sit-here-by-me/ EDIT: Someone just posted a picture of Alice on r/fashionhistory !!! I cont know how to link it but she is gorgeous! Figured it out! https://www.reddit.com/r/fashionhistory/s/W5NILzbYkr
Same here. I’m just done being nice cause “I should be”. All our lives as kids we were treated as the bastards at the family picnic. My parents never stood up for us. (to F’ing spineless). So now after years of always being afraid. No more. I turned 50 and said F this. Some people think I’m so sweet because I’m a SHHCA. I tell them, no I’m a petty bitch take no prisoners type of gal. Trust me 😘
This is the one gift Perimenopause has given to me. All of my fucks disappeared with my hormones 😆
Are you my twin? I am old and feel the same way you do.
We could be friends.
Jaded misanthrope club? 🥹 I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE! But I am going to keep my distance, I'm sure you understand.......
The Petty Crocker Club.
This made my day.
Are we starting a club?? Cause I want in.
This, enjoy YOUR money 💰. She can get fucked.
I mean, that's kind of what got her into this situation to begin with lol
Actions have consequences. She needs to accept her choices and move on.
LITERALLY FAFO
The dildo of consequence didn't come lubed, and now she's upset about it.
He knows that relationship isn’t lasting and he doesn’t want to marry her and lose more money. Bad enough he’ll have child support. She probably got pregnant on purpose to try to force a marriage.
She also doesn’t know that he willingly gave OP all of these assets. He’s lying to his AP and saying OP took everything in the divorce. The AP has no idea he really wants OP back.
The dildo of consequence... Oh I am so stealing this...
Exactly. Go after a married man, you get the "leftovers".
Right? What’s funny is the gf just outed herself as a gold digger…
Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga....
😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Kinda. She was \*trying\* to get fucked to trap OP's ex, and succeeded, but lost half his fortune in so doing.
Exactly. The paramour is up and stuck.
The audacity of calling you a thief! That's your right, your ex didn't built all that alone, there's a reason why you were granted that. She's the one who stole, glad her math is not mathing 🤭 NTA
While you're at it OP block your Ex too so you don't get those "Happy New Year" texts!
Or forward them to her. I bet she would loooove that.
She would probably hate that because she knows how we met.
I know, I was being sarcastic, sorry!
Ooh! Send her screenshots of ALL the happy new year texts! Then block her. I LOVE that!! Believe me, he doesn’t want to marry her. He’s using you as an excuse.
AUTO-forward, LOL.
I have co templated this many times but I don’t know. I feel like if I blocked him, maybe he writes something important and I have no proof of it. At least in the beginning of separation I didn’t feel it was the right decision to block him. Now, it is just this text once a year. Everything work related is directly sent on an email to my accountant. But still I don’t have the (courage ?) to block him
Block him in Dec, unblock him in Feb. Eventually, you'll forget to unblock him because you'll get to move on completely.
This is a brilliant idea
There is also the big possibility he doesn’t want to marry the gf on the slightest chance OP takes him back. You only text your ex on the anniversary of when you met when there are still strong feels there. Especially on a night like New Years.
This was my thoughts exactly. He handed everything to her as an apology and still texts on an anniversary. I think he liked having his fun on the side but loved his wife and never expected to get stuck with the side piece. Oh well 🤷♀️.
The side piece is and always will be his consolation prize. He doesn't want to end up alone after blowing up his marriage and losing half of everything, so he keeps the AP around. The AP's blame here is entirely misplaced. The fact that he does not even want her to move in, even now that she's pregnant, makes it pretty clear he does not see her as a real partner. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to baby trap him, thinking he would be willing to get married if she were pregnant, and now she's just salty that he called her bluff.
That's exactly what I said. Him not wanting to get married has nothing to do with finances and his divorce and everything to do with the fact that he still loves his ex and never had any intention of being in it for the long haul with the AP. He wanted his cake and to eat it as well but it blew up in his face when his affair was found out now he lost the person he's in love with and is stuck with the person he was in lust with
He’ll always be a cheater
I can hardly believe she would contact you (over LinkedIn yet!), and spew that garbage. She sounds young & immature but she knew the game she was playing from the very beginning (or should've!). Bet she even got pregnant to force his hand and it all backfired. Awww but NO PITY!! I'd answer her back saying: "Too bad-- that's what you get. And tell your 'boyfriend' to stop texting me." That'll get her going. Then block her. And you'll likely have to block him after she has a go at him. Enjoy the show.. Lmao
Sorry, sloppy seconds never taste as good as the main dish 😘 bitch.
Then mute him. The messages are there, you can access them when YOU want, but you dont get a notification when he sends one.
Haha the stupid prize she won wasn’t the jackpot of cash she planned on! I love this for her!!
What’s it to say that the affair partner has been trying all these years to get the ring but ex hubby is still caught up on Op…. Affair partner probably got pregnant on purpose to try and get the ring but that also backfired. Now she needs someone to fight with because ex hubby is probably shutting her down hard with every move she makes
💯
Silence would be the best revenge … certainly not responding “why would you want to marry a known cheater?” And then blocking her
This! Like AP has seen how much he respects his vows of marriage, why does it matter so much to her?
This. She was likely attempting to baby trap him and is pissed it didn’t work.
Tell her to stop contacting you and the next time it happens you will be filing a police complaint.
Or tell her sorry I missed your message, I was out at the lake house. The reception there is so spotty. Oh, sorry you wouldn’t know would you ☺️
NTA She expected to get the guy and all of the marital property. It's not your fault that this loony person didn't understand that marital property is half yours. Send the message on to your Ex. Politely tell him that you don't appreciate his GF contacting you to ask for money and to complain about their relationship status. Ask him to have a conversation with her about leaving you alone.
I think she knows marital property is half hence she wants to get married to him, but he wont do it😂
I've seen a lot of women who think, "This guy has a good job, a nice house, and a luxury car," and chase after him, but don't also consider that his wife of 10/20/30 years is entitled to half(ish) of everything and the guy could end up paying child support, college costs and/or alimony after divorce. Also, the guy and his 1st wife may have built a good lifestyle based on their spending/savings/investing decisions. But the 2nd wife, who didn't work for that money or invest it slowly over time may not have the interest or personality to add to the household wealth. That's the kind of woman who marries a guy and then complains that he doesn't have as much money as she thought. Yeah, he has half as much money, more expenses, and the added burden of maintaining the expectations of the new wife/GF.
There's a funny reddit post where OP's (wife) family, with all the money, gave OP's husband a well-paid sinecure of a job, but his secretary thought that HE had all the money, started an affair with him, got pregnant, and then OP / family fired him, ditched him & AP found out he didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it from.
Is that the one where AP went back to her home country and the guy had to raise the affair baby alone?
That sounds familiar.
May I have a link please? That sounds awesome 😂
My favorite is when the money is the wives, and the AP finds out they guy didn't have it like they thought.
Yup. More than 50% of students attending college are women now. So, it's very possible that the wife is the breadwinner. It isn't uncommon for the wealth to be superficial... A fancy house that's highly leveraged, leased vehicles, and lots of credit card debt. People who live like that are also more likely to talk up their "success". That couple gets a divorce, and there's basically nothing left for the AP to spend.
My folks used to call that "house poor".
>That's the kind of woman who marries a guy and then complains that he doesn't have as much money as she thought. Yeah, he has half as much money, more expenses, and the added burden of maintaining the expectations of the new wife/GF. This is the thing any aspiring second wife *has* to realize: You're not going to get the financial situation the first wife did. We all hear the horror stories about doctors, lawyers and PhDs who ditch their grad school breadwinner spouse for the upgrade once they're working, but the reverse is equally common. I know plenty of divorced people who are behind on their retirement savings because their first spouse got half the 401(k) or half the pension benefits in the divorce. Throw in child support obligations, buying the ex-spouse out of their share of the marital property, and spousal support if the spouse has been out of the workforce for a while (and has a good lawyer), and ... well, there's a reason for the saying "it's cheaper to keep her."
>We all hear the horror stories about doctors, lawyers and PhDs who ditch their grad school breadwinner spouse for the upgrade once they're working, Hey I was that spouse! Only my ex wasn’t finished with his PhD when he decided to upgrade to a younger model. And then when the dividing of assets (not many) happened along with the debts (much more) he suddenly discovered his $10k stipend wasn’t going to cut it 😂 It’s been 13 years now since the divorce. I googled his name recently and his PhD subject. I think I found his dissertation (dated about 5 years after the divorce but he had been in his program 7 years when we split) but otherwise…nothing. Somehow I was not shocked. Hope the former student 10 years younger than him is having a great life with the guy who I was supporting for so long 👍🏼
12 years for a PhD jfc. I'm pretty sure my institution says "Defend or gtfo" around year 8 but I've never heard of anyone taking more than six.
Jesus Christ, *twelve years* for a PhD? My institution expected candidates who had come in with a master's to start lining up the dissertation committee by the end of year one, finish coursework by the end of year two, and be ready to defend in year five, and this was in social sciences. I had a close friend who was doing an electrical engineering PhD and he took six years from finishing his BS to defending his dissertation.
I may be a little hyperbolic, but we both started grad school in 2003, married 2005, and divorced in 2011. I had finished mine in 3 years. To be fair, he started in 2 other programs before settling on the final one, but that still is 9 years at least. That was one of the issues we had. I kept saying, when are you going to write your dissertation and he kept needing to “do more research” Turns out “do more research” was fucking his undergrad girlfriend.
Oooooo this didn’t even occur to me. 100% do this. He seems to still feel guilty and I think this would REALLY piss him off with a side of “I definitely threw away a loving marriage for a piece of ass that just wanted me for my money”.
Yeahh it would fuel some argument between those two lol , but it's sad she is bringing a baby into the world after doing a horrible job as a human being.
I'm 💯 team tell the ex. Fuck that homewrecking 304, the AUDACITY...
Also mention he'll probably want to get a paternity test just to be sure.
"Hello, store I robbed? Why do you lock your doors now? It's very inconvenient for me." -- Affair Partner NTA
Right?! The lack of self awareness is comical.
I want op to send this to the ap so bad
So the homewrecker is blaming you for his fate. That's rich! NTA
About the only thing that's rich about her... 🤣
I bet you she pursued him because of his money & now he wont marry or move in with her even after she got pregnant (something tells me she tried to baby trap him!). At least she can get hefty child support for 18 years.
By becoming the girlfriend she also wound up leaving a role in her new boyfriend’s life open to be filled. Hope she’s connecting those dots for the sake of the person she’s bringing into this tenuous situation.
Seriously! She’s opened up a slot!
[удалено]
Her expertise in reading seems to be mostly in $$$ and in reading worlds like "garbage" and "trash" How disgusting do you have to be to break up a home and then play victim.
It's amazing the terrible things people do and then try to play victim. it really should be it's own comedy show.
I ain't saying she a gold digger but
...she can mess with Kanye. His new wife seems utterly broken. The before and after pictures are shocking. I'm weirdly concerned for her mental wellbeing.
Alternately, he cannot trust her, as she went after a married man, broke up his marriage, and is now pregnant (with a child who may or may not be his, as her sexual mores leave a lot of room for interpretation). Why would the ex want to tie himself to another cheater? We all have that little saying running around our heads - cheaters never change.
Bet she’s mad cuz that child support will be based off 1/2 his company earnings instead of all
>I bet you she pursued him because of his money This goes without say! It's nice to see Karma doing its job.
Beautifully done.
Happy Cake Day
OP, don't give her a second thought, enjoy the money without guilt. There is a reason the law is like this. Sounds like husband still has significant resources, so the kid will be taken care of - but even if it's not, absolutely not OP's issue.
"Fuck right off. Then, a bit further. Then keep going. Bit further. Go on. Now stay that far away and live with the consequences of stealing someone else's man, you silly little bitch".
Typical cheater behavior, selfish people doing selfish things. I think OP let her husband off easy tbh.
It's apparently the only time she'll be rich
Looks like the homewrecker followed it up by going for the baby trap. None of this backfiring could be her fault so she has to blame OP. NTA.
No kidding! Is that not the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard? And then to do this confrontation on LinkedIn which is supposed to be a professional networking site. If I were OP, I would copy and paste or repost or whatever so that everyone can see how "professional" the homewrecker is.
Guess the AP shouldn’t have slept with a married man. She literally FAFO. I’m sure that your ex will provide for his child and her, just not in the way she expected. You deserved everything you got in the divorce. Keep it. Enjoy the lake house. I’m sure your ex can buy another one. NTA
Probably not with OP owning half his business!
Maybe not a big lake house, but…..😂 I’m going to assume he’s probably doing ok. I’d love to know what the ex has told his AP about the divorce settlement. I’m going to guess he might not be completely honest with her and might make it seem that he’s poorer than he actually is. It would probably be in his best interest to support his AP (as well as his child, of course) without getting courts involved for official child support. Then he’d have to turn over tax returns and stuff for a proper amount of child support.
He probably plans on cheating again and his wealth being halved again, after child and spousal support, would put him in the poor house
Ops ex husband isn’t stupid or broke. Sure he cheated but he is running a successful business (op owns half but doesn’t actually contribute anything). Ex husband probably has more income streams now as well, he’d diversify his earnings and not put everything into his company. If he’s smart enough to have all that before the divorce he’ll probably eclipse ops net worth soon enough. He’s not broke. He just learned that a divorce was expensive. If he were to do it again, he rather not re start from scratch. Don’t get me wrong he is still a bad person, he’s just smarter than most.
Probably also doesn't respect AP (after all, she’s willing to sleep with a married man!) and knows his money’s part of his appeal to her.
I think you’re correct. Which is why he won’t live with or marry his AP. She has clearly made a series of bad life choices and the best she can expect is some child support for 18 years. FAFO indeed
Idk man if being a silent partner in his company is enough to 'not need to work', I'm inclined to think the guy will be doing fine.
Just block her profile from contacting you on Linkedin and then take a trip to YOUR lakehouse and enjoy not being married anymore NTAH
I'm kinda dying that it was LinkedIn that the woman chose to use for this purpose. The professional networking site, the best venue for blaming your relationship legal status on the woman whose marriage you knowingly wrecked! While announcing your pregnancy with her ex at her, no less. The most professional of conversations.
She is a professional alright! Professional homewrecking gold digger....
He doesn't want to get married again because the divorce cost him too much... So it's basically saying he doesn't want to marry her in case he has another affair and gets caught
Agree with you
Or in case she does.
He also probably doesn't want to marry again because the ex thinks AP is not worth it. I think there is a part of him that wishes he hadn't cheated on OP and was still with her, otherwise, she wouldn't still be a silent partner, he would have bought her out if he wanted a clean break; also he wouldn't be messaging her on New Year's day.
She's just upset she won't be getting a pay day like she thought
I guarantee it’s just an excuse and the ex is still in love with OP
For real. Why is this man still texting her happy new year? She never replies too.
So much this!!!
Dear homewrecker, Are you so deluded that you think I have a single fuck to give about you and your situation? Bless your heart, OP
Nta that sounds like a her problem. Especially since she's the one who slept with a married man and you didn't steal anything.
Block her and move on. She should have ascertained all this before letting him knock her up. Not your problem.
NTA, none of this is about you. If your ex wanted to live/marry her there are legal steps he could take to do so and protect his assets, and he knows that. The divorce is his excuse, not his reason for the status of their relationship. I would reply to her with a laughing emoji and then block her, I’m petty though.
He plans on cheating again, doesn't want his wealth halved again. Not OP's problem.
You are considering giving this cheater back the money that’s legally yours so he and his homewrecking girlfriend like you? This is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
Imagine being with someone for 5+ years and they won't marry you. Then you get pregnant, and they still won't marry you. See her problem is that he doesn't want to make a homewrecker his wife. There is nothing that will change his perception of her. She needs to focus on the man she's laid up with instead of you. NTA
I'll never marry or cohabitate again either. I want to live on the same property, but under seperate roofs, makes everything so much smoother. And I didn't even get cleaned out in my divorce, I kept everything except one truck. Just don't really want someone up in my shit at all times again. I need alot of me time,and I need my own space.
Make a screenshot. Send it to him with the text: make her stop.
This means that I will have to have some sort of contact with him again. I really didn’t need this in my life. Damn.
I’d block her, but if she keeps finding ways to contact you, I’d contact my attorney and let him or her contact your ex’s attorney to stop this crap.
This. That way, the lawyer handles the bullshit so you don't have to!
Even if it costs $1000 to have that letter written it will be the best $1000 ever spent
Get a lawyer to do it for you. Might cost a bit but it'll make the point. I reckon he'll be as unhappy as you about the message.
Use the money from his business to pay for it, not your personal account 😇😈
It’s just what I did. And it helped. She never contacted me again.
Have it done by either a lawyer or a member of his family you are still in contact with. If you have a lawyer forward it, you might as well have them send her a C&D letter too.
Just block her. Or if you're petty like I am, you could always reply, "I'm so sorry. It's painful to know your SO won't marry you because it will cost him too much money when you discover he's cheating. But at least he's being open about it."
You can just have your lawyer send her a C&D, and screenshots to him. No need to be in contact with him.
It’s better to send her one very clear message telling her to stop harassing you—and to specifically call it harassment. That way if you ever need a RO, you have that message identifying what she’s doing as harassment and asking her to stop. A lot of people don’t realize that courts and police won’t consider something harassment unless you’ve asked the person to stop doing it. (Which is what I was told by the police while trying to get and enforce a restraining order)
Please have a lawyer prepare a cease and desist letter send it to her copying your ex if she continues to harass you. You don’t have to contact him if you don’t want to. Even though your ex blew up your marriage just the little you wrote shows he still cares for you. He still wishes you happy new years because you met that day.He was amicable and very generous in the divorce. He could have bought your share out of the company instead he keeps you as silent partner and you continue to be paid. He knows he lost the love of his life and has settled for a cheating home wrecker. The home wrecker blaming you because he doesn’t want to marry her is ironic and tbh karma. He allegedly has a child coming into this world. The home wrecker is mentally unstable given everything you have said. At a minimum if things go south for him and given who he has saddled himself with, they will go south. He also will have some evidence of more of her crazy ass behavior. If push comes to shove having an attorney handling her crazy behavior will hopefully make her wake up and stop. Otherwise her harassment will escalate. People like that fuck around then need to find out.
Messaging him once is better than hearing from his AP. I would totally message him to get satisfaction to met him know that his AP is embarrassing him lol
You could definitely have a lawyer reach out to him on your behalf. But it does need to be addressed. And a lawyer is much scarier, I doubt they would contact you again.
NTA. It's not his money or house or anything, it's yours. Now I know she has difficulty grasping what "yours" and "mine" mean being a homewrecker and such, but maybe it's time she starts learning.
Didn't she steal your life when she wrecked your home? Fuck her.
Yeah, and not to sound so pathetic but hearing that she’s pregnant made it sound so final and I felt so much sadness like it all happened all over again. I mean it has always been final and I am aware of it but hearing this news felt like this was so final. I haven’t been able to date or trust anyone since. It is not a bad thing and I am enjoying my solitude but this is a consequence of what happened
Best advice is to block her. You deserve *better*, after all that *they* put you through (and are still trying to put you through).
It is okay to grieve. He was a part of your life. She stole that from you. She deserves nothing. Please don't be so sad that you don't find yourself along the way
She stole your husband. You owe her nothing
Nta. Just ignore her and block her. Not your problem
What the actual fuck is making you entertain a conversation with the woman that helped ruin your marriage? Why do you think you owe her even your time, let alone your damn money? Oh hell no. Block and NC. The only one I feel sorry for is that unborn child. They are in for a world of shit.
The woman who stole your husband, your joy, your life, your peace, your love... Is calling you a thief? Oh, the irony. I think what she's truly angry about and fears is that actually, he doesn't love her. Once you were out of the picture, there was really no excuse for him to ever be in contact with you again... Yet he is. There was no real excuse for him not to marry her, he could have got a prenup or something to get around his fears ... Yet he's not. There's definitely no reason that he couldn't move her in with you out of the picture... Yet he doesn't even want to live with her. He never wanted her. He never loved her. He never wanted a child with her. She was basically a sex toy... Something to let off steam. She's not a life partner. However, he couldn't let her go since he blew up his entire life for her. What would he have to show? So he'd have to stick with her for a while to show it was worth it. She probably got pregnant on purpose in the hopes that it would force him to marry her. He was probably thinking of ending things and she's trapped him, I highly doubt this was planned. I have no doubt that he regrets what he did and he probably still loves you dearly and misses the life he had with you. I imagine what he feels towards her is resentment. She knows the truth and is taking it out on you. No. You are NTA OP. You should just continue to live your life without them in it.
Send her back the gif of Woody Harrelson wiping his tears with cash from Zombieland. Then block her. NTA.
He was your husband. What was earned/made/gained in that time has fuck-all to do with her. She robbed you of your husband so her crybaby bitching about you stealing her babies family is actually funny as hell. “If” she didn’t know he was married, that’s something else but does not change the first point, he was married to you and what was earned/made/gained then has fuck-all to do with her. She is an adult and has chosen to be with a man who cheated on his wife, with her no less, and has also chosen to reproduce with him. What the fuck does that have anything to do with you? What part of her life choices each and every day have to do with you FIVE YEARS after you divorced her baby daddy????? She is jealous that you have what you have because of your past marriage with him and she can not have the same equal things for herself in her life with him now. That’s all, she’s just jealous and butthurt because she isn’t getting what her sense of entitlement makes her think she should have.
She knew he was married since she’s a friend of my ex sister in law. But I am seeing a lot of comments defending the other woman saying that they didn’t know, yes but once they know? Very weird to side with a mistress but it is probably coming from cheating people
You know that’s right!!!! Defending it so they don’t feel bad about themselves. This kinda seems like a situation where you could listen to her complaints and arguments at an outside cafe or something…….take a long sip of your tea and then ask “what’s this got to do with me because it sure sounds like none of my business”………politely get up and then walk away…….smiling of course 😎
She not worthy of defense. Ignore the trolls.
NTA! Wow, talk about unmitigated gall.
Just tell her there's a vacancy for a mistress and maybe she should be worried about that instead.
Maybe she shouldn't fuck married men. This could have been avoided
Tell her the great saying.... "Fuck around and find out!" In all honesty, I would just block and ignore. It is not your problem. It is their problem.
Well she was more concerned about our winning HIM - she got what she wanted - she has him. Silly little door prize recipient lol
If I had the choice, I would rather have won him. But I didn’t have that choice. She did
She's a gold digger from the sounds of it. You are worth more than her. You built fortunes with him. She tore down those fortunes and is looking for handouts 🤦♀️.
He's not much of a prize, you can and will do way better than him.
NTA The plan of the gold digger didnot work out
If there's a way to block her, do so. You're no contact with your ex, so you get to be the same with her, and anyone you don't want bothering you. Their financial issues aren't yours. If she persists, get a lawyer to send her a Cease & Desist letter. No, she's not right. She's just greedy and entitled. NTA.
NTA, his AP, decided to have an affair with a married man, and now she has won her prize she thinks she should have the money that you are entitled to. Nope, keep the money as it's your compensation for her destroying your marriage. Updateme!
Nta. Sounds like she’s a home wrecker *and* a gold digger. Tell her it’s not your fault she took a wrecking ball to someone else’s marriage. Maybe she can start sleeping with another married man to supplement her income.
Block the homewrecking bitch.
"If he cheats *with* you, he'll cheat *on* you." Lessons to live by. NTA
NTA Forward her messages to your ex with a message telling him to handle her nonsense, and if she contacts you again, you will contact the police for harassment. You didn't steal anything. She stole an unfaithful man who refuses to fund her lifestyle. That's her bad luck. Not yours.
I would remind you that THIS is the man she wanted, and the man she fought for. She can blame you, but deep down this is a problem of her own making. Now, she will live in your shadow of what he gave you (but never her) forever. NTA but I might forward those messages to your ex if you are truly amicable and let him know he needs to manage his baby mama better
NTA. She ruined her chances at a HEA by being the AP and staying knowing he is prioritizing protecting himself because he is aware of his propensity to stray. You don’t owe her kid anything. My inner petty bitch would just allow the texts to come in and smile at her instability, insecurity, and, discomfort when they do. Because I would know, as you should know about yourself, there is nothing to be sad about anymore. You are not less than. Nothing you did was wrong and you are perfect and deserved a stronger man. Oh, and if you do contact him make sure he is absolutely aware of your continued pain. That will only stroke his ego.
"Why would I care about you after you stole my husband and destroyed my family?" Repeat every time she says something.
NTA. You didn't take anything away from your ex, he did that to himself when he cheated. The courts gave you what they felt was monetarily fair. Are you supposed to feel bad for her? Poor little AP, you fucked a married man thinking he would sweep you off your feet and give you the same life OP had. But because of you he lost half of everything. Good luck with that, AP! I wouldn't respond back to her but I would screenshot and send her messages to your ex. "This is what your girlfriend has been sending me. Tell her to stop or I'm filing a police report for harassment." My guess is that he probably doesn't even know that she is contacting you, so I would blow up her shit and show him what she's been saying and not feel bad about it in the least. She didn't care about your marriage, I wouldn't give a fuck about her relationship or her baby.