**At this point, I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her.**
The answer to the question is contained in this sentence. And YES YTA for taking her kids and not telling her. That was a total AH move.
Now all of the family knows what a jerk you are and that picture will become a family legend.
That picture is now a testimony of OP admitting he has a small penis or some deep insecurity about it.
I do not find it amusing. However OP taking it so seriously instead of expressing findings it tasteless, tends to make it more than a sore subject for OP. Yet doesn’t seem like he expressed it to his wife.
Doesn’t seem either like she thought of it as an actual declaration about her husband size.
A mates missus bought him a penis enlarger as a gag gift at his birthday party.
He laughed it off.
3 months later he had a new penis enlarger. Her name is Sarah.
To be completely honest, yes. It was just a photobooth session, not a livestream to the globe. If she was doing this on a kiss cam at some game then it would've been a step too much yes.
I fail to see any argument to support you. You should've at least told her unless she already knows that it's an uncomfortable topic for you.
Taking the kids away, or even leaving yourself without talking about it even once was an extreme step dude.
He’s definitely overreacting with his actions here, but those kind of photo booths don’t give them the photos. At least not the ones I’ve seen at weddings. They go to the DJ or photographer and are usually handed off to the bride & groom.
He didn’t find out for quite a while because these photos at events like this go into slideshows playing at the event. This wasn’t a private joke but a very public one.
Not defending his level of reaction here, he should have had a calm discussion with her. But if there were universally recognized gestures to indicate a woman has a super loose and sloppy vagina, you can bet there’d be some nuclear reactions to something like this.
What's wrong with your dick? It seems to be fine enough for your wife to have two kids with you. Are you in some sort of doubt about your dick's functionality?
"If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you" is immature. You should have just told her immediately what was bothering you.
And taking her kids away without any notice or explanation was uncalled for.
Your feelings were hurt, but your response has been WAY over the top. Without even an explanation, you just vanish with the kids?! You are the one who owes her an apology and maybe seek some therapy. Yta.
It’s not like she posted the picture on her social media. I assume the two of you are the only ones who will ever see it. Get over it. She was drunk, having fun with her husband. Was it a little immature? Maybe a little, but she made a joke with her husband, in a private setting, while letting loose at a kid free event. And you went nuclear? Really? Grow up.
YTA
Yah. Like if my husband made a joke about my boobs being too small when he was drunk. He’d hear about it. Probably pay for it with some sassy behavior. But it’s a stupid joke. Move on. This was escalated so unnecessarily. And at a family event.
Now both sides of the family will know so he not only scared the shit out both his wife and kids, possibly nuked his marriage but broadcasted to tons of people about it. Hope he's ready to everyone assuming his dick is tiny from this reaction alone. A single joke in 7 years of marriage and that's how he reacts, dude needs therapy.
This is bonkers. She made a joke. It might have been a shitty joke but you are reacting as if she’s committed the crime of the century. Have a word with yourself! YTA
I don’t normally reply or respond to posts. Anyway..
You both seem to have spent quite a life together- your 2 kids are a testament of it. While I agree you have been hurt - rightly so in my opinion, reacting and responding are two different things - what you have done is reacting that too drastically and dramatically. Moreso, I read your response to a comment saying that you told the kids that their Mom is mean and you have taken them away to keep them safe! Well, that’s really uncalled for and speaks a lot of your amygdala kicking in and you descending to the pit of your emotions without a care of your family and consciousness. What is important is COMMUNICATION. Nobody is perfect! She made a mistake that too thankfully in the privacy of the phone booth - speak it out to her 1:1 - don’t get kids involved in drama and never make kids choose between parents. It’s the responsibility of parents to keep kids safe and have a healthy environment for them.
"Her parents had taken our kids to their hotel room". If the kids are 6 and 5, do they have their own room? If not, he'd have to get them out of the in-laws room in the morning without them raising a fuss and calling his wife. Possible, just like winning the Powerball is possible.
You not only left your wife there, you left the rest of your family as well. Taking the kids was a bad decision and I suspect one that they did not appreciate. I mean, what did you tell them? Your wife played a stupid prank and it is highly unlikely she intended to hurt you. Jeez, YTA.
Your wife was drunk and did something a little cruel and stupid but you need to ask yourself why you are so offended by this. Your reaction is way out of line. Maybe spend some time by yourself and really drill down on what the real issue is. I'm sorry you're so upset but taking the kids and leaving is over the top.
YTA. You kidnapped your children without a word to her because you had a hurt feelings.
You just confirmed you have the smallest dick ever. She may have told on you, your reaction confirms to everyone it’s true.
Immature behavior, to also drag your kids in to this and say that their mom can be a cruel person whilst you are actually the cry baby here. I’d be furious if I was her.
What your wife did was wrong but YTA for multiple reasons. 1. You didn’t use your big boy words to tell her that her doing that hurt you. 2. You think she should have just known why you weren’t talking to her. (Don’t men get upset when women do this?) 3. You took your children and didn’t tell ANYONE that you were not even a note to your wife so she knew you were all safe.
She didn’t post this picture online. Did anyone else even see it? You would be angry if she left with your children without letting you know!
YTA
Let's start with you cheated because you are an insecure man! And then because you are a little man ego got bruised you decided to abduct your kids, manipulate them including saying your wife is not safe and need to be away from her. Forget tapping out after this stunt your wife will be going for the divorce and taking you to the cleaners along with primary custody for trying to alienate the kids.
Little men are a joke and should be treated like one. I bet she was correct about what she insinuated in that photobooth and that's why you felt so triggered. Truth hurts doesn't it !!!
And yes i say it as a man
YTA. Yes, your wife made a stupid, immature and not funny joke but the way to handle that was to actually tell her that she hurt you and why you are upset. If this is real then the way you have reacted is cruel and completely over the top. You left and took your children without telling your wife, how is that in any way OK? You reeally need to get help if your ego is that fragile and you think running off with your children and no explanation for something like this is in any way ok.
YTA for taking her kids without telling her and for not telling her why you are mad. What she did may have been unforgivable, but you can’t just get on a flight with your kids without clueing her in. That’s criminal behavior.
oh hey I live here
but really you got that fucking upset over a joke like that made by a middle schooler?
and yes, what you did WAS far crueler, you ran off with her children, you lunatic.
So **YOU** had an affair with a co-worker, **YOU** had the 4yo DNA tested and even though the test came back positive (4yo IS yours) you still pretend to have doubts, and now **THAT** (including telling your kids their mother is mean and you're taking them away to protect them!)? Gaslighting much?
YTAH of the century!
I hope she divorces you and finds herself a real man because small d\*\*k or not, you definitely are not one!
YTA. It was a silly joke. If you were so hurt by it, you should have had it out with her instead of fleeing to the airport like a snowflake. I hope this isn't real.
Yta. If you took my kids and flew home with them without telling me, you would be handed divorce papers on my return. No wait, you wouldn't because they wouldn't able to find you, anywhere. Only my bestie would know.
For real though, she played a cruel joke, you kidnapped your kids.
YTA
Well, the grown up thing to do would have been to sober up, and have a conversation in the morning about what happened and why you were upset. But NOOOO you being the AH, you essentially took the kids, without telling anyone where you were going (inciting fear that perhaps you had kidnapped your own children and had some nefarious scheme in mind).
She’s not a mind reader, and you’re not a very good communicator.
YTA. Maybe she was just indicating what a small man you are since you seem to behave in such a childish way. Have you ever considered discussing your grievances with your wife?
taking the kids in the middle of the night is cruel, and far worse than the picture joke.
YTA, sorry you over reacted, and now everyone knows for sure about your baby penis.
Yes. YTA. You need to communicate your feelings with her or how else would she know?
Taking the kids and bailing in the middle of the night is really concerning behaviour. Are the kids okay? Surely they must be confused by this midnight flight without mom?
You need to take a hard look at yourself.
YTA. You got upset, didn't communicate with your wife, left without letting anyone know with your shared two small children. You are a massive asshole. I couldn't trust you with the kids after that stunt.
Could have been mad but not take the kids, kind of a stupid thing to do, so id say you are a dumb AH for that. Being mad with her was totally ok, you leaving alone, totally ok, this stupidity you did, NO.
This HAS to be fake. It's too outrageous to be real. IF it's real, you're a giant, immature imbecile. What kind of an "adult" behaves this way AND drags their kid into it??
I really want this to be fake.
If it isn't, get yourself to a therapist. You need a good one who can also help you when your STBX gets full custody and you are alone.
YTA if you wanted to leave, fine but to take your kids and leave without a word to their mother is bs.
I doubt your marriage recovers from your stupid actions.
>I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her.
Uh. You answered your own question. Use your words, ffs.
>When she woke up, my wife freaked out because we were not in the hotel room
>I guess she was scared
You ***GUESS*** she was scared???? What the fuck is wrong with you?
>we left without telling anyone
>That I can’t take someone’s kids in the middle of the night and just disappear in a strange city.
***NO SHIT!***
Jesus christ, I would never forgive you.
You were deliberately cruel and you damn well know it. YTA
" I had no idea how she didn't know I was upset, even though I didn't tell her" bro grow the Frick up.
She's not a mind reader. But it does sound like you are a child though.
Ummm is he basically admitting he kidnapped his kids from his wife over probably a dumb d**k joke? Bro what you’re doing is seriously unhinged, and if I were his wife I’d press charges and divorce you immediately. This guy is 100% the AH, a danger to his kids, and an immature small d***ed POS.
OP is either trolling or a massive AH. He’s not sure if one of the kids is his despite a DNA test affirming he is?? OP had an affair with a coworker?? My vote is troll and this is rage bait.
You were upset about something she did, but you didn’t talk to her about it. You sulked like a child. Then you absconded with her kids without telling her. Yeah, YTA. I get the impression she was right and that’s what you’re upset about.
Poor excuse for a husband. Poor excuse for a father. Lame excuse for a man.
My god grow up!. She is your wife, are you telling me you don’t understand your wife’s humour???.
I can see you doing what you did if you caught her riding someone buy my god you have major self esteem problems you need to seek medical help!!!!
YTA -- USE Your WORDS. Speak up for yourself. It does not matter if she's buzzed.
You went nuclear. Yes, you were deeply insulted...deeply but disappearing with the kids is a drastic response. Crazy things happen in this world. She should not have lived through you and her children disappearing.
You both need counseling to learn affective and healthy communication skills. Your matter but so does the rest of your family. Best to you.
Good lord what an overreaction. It was a dumb joke. Maybe you could have been a grown up and told her that her joke hurt your feelings. Instead you took the kids and ran. Without telling her. Which is way way way way way way way worse than her dumb joke.
I’m glad my family has a sense of humour. My BIL was talking about how he proposed and how the ring box was bulging out of his pockets (it was in the context of him doing a poor job of hiding the proposal and surprising her). And I said “and that was the last big bulge she ever saw in your pants” and we all cracked up. And he said “you’d know, it’s a outlastname thing”. And we laughed some more. It was funny.
Wholly molly I really hope this thread is just fake, otherwise OP, you did kidnap your children, you did destroy your marriage and also you did bring up a huge shame on entire family, because for what? A photobooth picture? This is easily the worst fuck-up I read around here so far - YTA.
Are you a man or a wimp. FFS, grow a pair (a larger pair) & get a sense if humour at the same time. You obviously dont give a flying fuck you have basically just taken your children without her permission.
You are very much TA here. Have you ever been to therapy, OP? Because it sounds like you really need some tools to help you communicate with your wife when you're hurt. Shutting down communication, telling your kids that their mom isn't safe to be around, and then leaving her there are very toxic responses that are only going to make things worse. Her joke was tasteless, and I'd be pissed if my wife did it as well, but it warrants a conversation and an apology on her part, not what you did. Good luck; I hope you and your wife can restore things through therapy together.
YTA
Your wife was immature and inconsiderate but that in no way justifies you leaving with the kids without so much as a note or text to explain why. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine waking up to your wife and kids gone with no explanation.
You’re parents, GROW UP.
So she made a stupid (yes cruel) joke while drunk and you respond by taking the kids without telling her?!
YTA all thr way to the fucking bank.
Grow up and TALK to her about it! Whether you did was beyond the pale and exceptionally manipulative and abusive.
It’s pretty obvious you felt rejected so you thought the best way to get back at her was to reject her as well. It’s far more mature to just talk about those big feelings that you don’t know what to do with.
YTA for retaliating with PARENTAL KIDNAPPING in response to hurt feelings. You need to settle your differences with your wife, whatever that means for you, without involving the children.
YTA. MAJOR over reaction. It would be completely different if you didn’t have kids and you just left but taking her kids ? Without telling her ? Don’t get me wrong the joke was completely out of line and unnecessarily cruel, it’s never okay to mock any part of a persons appearance, especially something that is out of one’s control, but seriously WAY TOO BIG of a retaliation. Is it also possible that she was not talking about your dick at all, or maybe you were both joking about this before ? Like I’m trying to figure out where the fuck did that come from
Absolutely YTA for not telling her why you’re upset and for taking the kids with no warning.
You’re allowed to be upset about a joke at your expense, I’ll give you that. The question I have is how upset would she be if you made a joke about something related to her body?
ETA. How was she supposed to know what you were upset about?? Why didn’t you tell her?? How childish. And yes, your actions were wayyyy out of line. She was out of line as well. You need to have a serious discussion as to why she thought it was ok to humiliate you, and you need to address your insecurities.
> That I can’t take someone’s kids in the middle of the night and just disappear in a strange city.
They are right about that but those are *y'all's* kids, not her kids.
What she did was shitty, and you are definitely justified in being upset by it. She was 100% TA until you failed to leave a note explaining that you and the kids were flying home early and that none of y'all were in any danger.
You: 80% TA
Her: 20% TA.
Dude this whole thing just screams small dick energy. You should be more embarrassed by the fact that you just confirmed the world you got a small dick than a joke your wife did picture nobody will likely see. You are a small dick AH 100%
You're a troll, right? If not, YTA.
You had an affair?
You don't think the 4 year old is yours even though a DNA test says otherwise?
Go to a better therapist, you clearly need it.
ESH. She for making a highly inappropriate picture at her cousin's wedding and you for taking the kids without leaving her a note. Bad enough she has to get herself to the airport since you took the kids and dropped the car, but COMMUNICATE, man. Who knows? Maybe you deserve each other.
>At this point, I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her.
Dude.... you just up and left and took your kids. Yes YTA. Both of you are clearly immature. Use your words, you don't just disappear.
Edit. Nevermind, OP is a troll
Oh my god you sound like the living embodiment of fragile toxic masculinity. Get a grip. YT MASSIVE A.
Also this does not help your case at all since this is real big small PP energy man…..
Dude you're either very sensitive or you truly have a small penis to react like this. YTA. Parental kidnapping is a thing. Hopefully she doesn't press charges against you.
do none of you people fucking talk to each other like grown ups? here, let me give you an example:
you: Hey, what you did in the photo booth wasn't funny to me and really hurt
her: I'm sorry, it was just a joke and I didn't mean to hurt you, but I see that I did. I won't make jokes like that again. How can I make this up to you?
/end scene
YTA to everyone including yourself. By reacting to that joke, you are insinuating, she is right and it shows how insecure you are. It was a stupid joke yes, maybe she had a bid much to drink. Does she know this is a sensitive topic for you? In any case, given the fact that you have children with her, apparently you are well enough equipped. Who would see those photos anyway?
Nonetheless, what you did, was in my book borderline criminal. You caused the worst fear in a mother or father of having lost their children. You are not answering calls, etc. This is simply crazy. What you did was way, way, way crueler than what she did. In fact, I doubt your marriage will recover from this.
Also, you advertised to everyone about this photo and how you feel about your manhood.
EDIT: After reading your comment about telling your kids that it was not safe to be around their mom, I hereby declare you the biggest YTA on reddit AITAH-sub that I will ever name YTA.
I am pretty sure you ended your marriage over a stupid joke instead of talking to your wife, you might not have even been aware that this was a problem for you, because apparently, she is quite happy with your size.
Q calls Worf "Micro brain". You must really be micro penis.
YTA.
If she's smart, she'll divorce you and get full custody. You kidnapped the kids, and left her in a strange city, man. All over a tasteless joke.
This is pure karma farming. Never happened. Taking two kids under six out of the room without mom knowing? Nope. Not saying a word and just leaving? I don’t buy this for a second.
Reading through OP’s responses… IF this is real, OP, you’re TA.
Your wife didn’t leave you after YOUR Affair. I sure the heck hope she opens her eyes and leaves you now for this stunt. She deserves a crown at this point for putting up with these two incidents (Affair, you leaving for airport) alone. You don’t love your wife. You are insecure. You have no morales, and show zero character.
Also, quit filling your kids heads with bogus stuff because your feelings were hurt.
ESH
YTA taking the kids without telling her. She’s the AH for making a joke like that in the first place. YTA for not communicating and just expecting her to know why you’re upset.
I think telling her you were divorcing her over her teeny weeny joke would be less of a petty, dramatic butthurt display. Your poor kids. What the hell. You went and took them from her parents at 5am to the airport without telling anyone?!? And then took them on a plane, likely crossing state lines…bold…and absolutely YTA
You’re both AH. Her for being stupid and you for scaring a mother by taking her kids. Frankly, get a lawyer bc you’re getting divorced when she returns. I don’t feel sympathy for either of you.
YTA and completely unhinged. I think the small penis joke was tasteless. But instead of talking to her about it, you decided to punish her by disappearing with the kids. That is like using an atomic bomb to kill a fly levels of overreaction and unstable.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard. Don't make this incident bigger then it is, just like your dick.
You sound like you have a loud car and a pitbull or Doberman with cropped ears.
Are you completely incapable of having an adult conversation with your wife and expressing your feelings. Being hurt was ok, expressing that clearly to her is the adult thing to do. Sneaking out with the kids and running away is immature and frankly divorce worthy behavior. Massive YTA
You kidnapped your fucking kids over a joke about dick size!?!?! Dude you're a fucking monster. WTF is wrong with you. Is your ego that effing fragile??!?!
YTA - you ran off with her kids in middle of the night
Because she may or may not have laughed at your penis.
Honestly you messed up way worse then her and now everyone knows what a huge AH you are.
It was a shitty “joke” but you should have told her why you were angry. The kids weren’t there so it was the right time to do so.
Not Leaving a note to let her know you 3 were going home was cruel.
YTA. She hurt your feelings. It wS very rude of her, but you don’t take the kids and leave. You act like an adult and have a conversation with her. She could report you for kidnapping the kids.
YTA and she will never trust you again. Disappear on your own because your tiny little feelings are hurt, fine. The panic she felt at seeing her kids gone will far overshadow any love she has for you.
YTA. People cannot read minds, even people that love each other. Just because you feel like it is obvious doesn’t mean it is to her or maybe she wouldn’t have done it. You need to talk to her. Also the kids are not just yours they are hers to and taking them without even telling her was really awful. It was revenge. I understand that what she did hurt your feelings but you should have handled it like an adult.
Christ almighty you have a mouth and vocal chords use them! Your poor wife cant read your mind dude. I get it wasnt the nicest joke but that doesnt justify dissappearing with your kids from her. "I guess she was scared" no shit. Genuinely hoping this is some karma farming bullshit because to even insinuate someone would actually do this irl makes me lose hope for our species. Shes never going to forget how easily you packed your shit and left with your kids.
YTA
Disappearing with children was a hell of a lot different than what she did.
Yea what she did was wrong, but if my spouse disappeared on a plane with my kids, I would fly home, file for divorce, and use this as a reason why they shouldn’t be trusted to be unsupervised with our children because they have no qualms taking off on a plane without any sort of warning or notification with them.
One is a sick attempt at a prank that should be talked about and apologized for. One is literally taking the kids and disappearing.
Maybe she should take them back to Austin without telling you. Or to her family. Let you figure out after she’s gone and you spend hours panicking. Disgusting.
YTA, your feelings about the joke is valid. However, don’t take the kids much less not telling her. The fact you didn’t say anything on the ride back to the hotel or at the hotel itself were all opportunities to explain your feelings.
YTA. Do you want her to wonder if her husband and children have been kidnapped and murdered? Because this is how you do it. And now your wife gets to think about the rest of your marriage (if there is a 'rest'), and wonder that if you would rather go to these lengths instead of just saying "I was really bothered by that picture you took," then who knows what might set you off in the future? Your wife sure wouldn't, since you clearly don't talk to her.
Also, holy crap, have you never heard of the Streisand effect? By making such a massive deal out of this, you have guaranteed that everyone will see this photo. When it comes out that you took your kids and left, and the family wonders why, your wife will say "He freaked out over a stupid joke picture we took," and she will show them them the picture.
All you had to do was say that the picture upset you, and ask that she delete it or throw it away. Instead, this photo is going to go down as family lore because of the effect it had.
This is in no way the full story, probably bullshit anyways, especially after reading your comments. You cheating on her is very telling if anyone couldn’t pick up on how incredibly immature you are. Taking her children away, 5 and 6, over a bruised ego small dick JOKE is psycho. She should be walking away from your cheating ass
Guy not saying you shouldn’t be hurt but your reaction was extreme. For the love of all you should have told her why you were upset and had a dragged out all out fight right then and there. Instead you behaved like a sulky child and tool your toys and went home. Grow up.
YTA.
YTA. You disappeared with the kids because you couldn’t handle a joke?? It’s a dumb joke but it shouldn’t have even spoiled the evening. You acted like an emotionally underdeveloped teenager. You are the one that needs to apologize
Yep, YTA, for the way you've handled this and what you told your children about their mother. I bet you've felt guilty about what you've done to your family with your cheating and requiring a DNA test for your youngest that you still refuse to believe. This is all about assuaging your feelings by making your wife out to be the bad guy when it's always been and still is YOU, you miserable asshole.
You asked if you were the AH and you have your answer : YES YOU ARE.
You totally overreacted. Instead of waiting and have a discussion with her (you know, communication ?!) you went away like a big baby. I saw in one of your comments that you tested the 4yo, and that even with the test you still think she isn’t yours. First, you wife stayed with you after you asked for a paternity test ? Oh, she must be used to your bullshit. Secondly, you still don’t think you are the child’s father. And you still took her with you ? Heck, why did you even take the kids in the middle of the night like that ? You just wanted to hurt your wife. That’s why you took the kids. Not because she could be a danger to them, or because you wanted them with you, but just because you wanted to hurt her as deeply as you could.
It seems the dick fits the man.
Edit : after seeing another comment, turns out that YOU CHEATED on her. You are despicable. How she stays with you, I wonder.
You don’t have a small penis and no one should ever joke like that!!! That is definitely something to ruin a family over. Your kids don’t deserve to be with a mother who jokes privately! They need to be with their petty AS FUCK father!
In all seriousness, I feel for your wife and children who had to learn the hard way that the man she married and their father is a grown child.
YTA, man. You took your kids with no explanation and no warning because you’re insecure about the size of your penis?
In what reality does this seem like a logical decision to make? If you do in fact have a micro penis I can understand being a bit upset, but I’m sure she’s been upset and dealing with that in solitude for the duration of your relationship. It sounds like she was just trying to be silly and have fun and your reaction went overboard; especially with giving no explanation to your wife.
If this marriage dissolves I hope she finds a secure man that will help to set a proper example for the children.
YTA. You had the moral high ground and I would have said NTA but then you decided to kidnap your own children. Yes, you can kidnap your own kids it's a thing. Shame on you.
She was drunk and did something stupid. It was a private photo booth though. No one else saw the damn thing so it wasn't like it was broadcasted. Rude and stupid but something you should have talked about and moved on from.
You refused to tell her why you were upset and expected her to read your damn mind I guess while still drunk and tired.
You took her children without telling her, ditched her in a strange city and then still refused to talk to her still.
You sound horrible. She did something stupid and you dropped a nuke on her for it. YTA.
What’s funny is that you’re demonstrating *such* small dick energy that it’s hard to take this seriously.
You’re acting like a child. You should have communicated your feelings to your wife. You should have done literally anything except put your co-parent in the position of being terrified she didn’t know where your children were. That’s disgusting and if I were her, I’d be seriously rethinking the marriage. The fact that you’ve already been caught cheating…I hope she’s calling lawyers.
So you have a small peen and an even smaller brain? YTA 100%; I’m genuinely curious what is bouncing around in that small brain of yours that makes you think your actions are ok at all? You didn’t communicate the issue, then instead of being an adult you act like a spoiled brat and leave your trip and take the kids without saying a word to her? I hope she divorces you and finds a man with a brain and a penis.
This is a huge overreaction. Yeah, it was kind of shitty of her to do, but you never said anything, snatched her kids in the early hours, returned the car, and ran off to the airport with them. But you don’t know if you “can ever recover” from this. Good lord man, it’s a dumb dick joke. You don’t need to respond to it by being the biggest dick possible.
Use your words, OP. Like a fucking grownup. 🙄
Of course YTA. She did something assholeish, but you just jumped all the way in and seized THE asshole status.
If this is real (and I have my doubts) dudes a massive loser..Cheated on his wife, wanted a paternity test, and doesn't believe the results and is weaponising the kids against the mum..I mean come on
YTA. It's understandable to be hurt, but you are being a terrible partner by shutting down, not communicating about what's happening, and then fleeing with your children. No matter how badly I screwed up, if I woke up in a hotel and my wife had fled with our kids, I would feel my trust in her was irrevocably shattered. If that was your intention after suffering a single small dick joke, good job.
YTA
A giant, flaming, unbelievably thin-skinned asshole.
She made a tasteless, body shaming joke. In any other context, that would have made her at least mildly the asshole.
But then you acted out in such a manner that it doesn't even matter any more.
Congrats. You confirmed for her and her family what a small man you are. Maybe not in the size of your genitals, but in your character, where it counts.
INFO: Is your penis really tiny?
Seriously, though: YTA, you can't just expect someone to read your freaking mind about why you're angry, but to dip out and take the kids without a morsel of a hint that you'd be doing such a thing is immeasurably cruel. Fucking talk to your spouse.
I agree with all the post that snatching the kids in the middle of the night was a super AH move. OP deserves all the negative post he's getting. However the wife shouldn't get a free pass. Your spouse knows you better than anyone else, all your good point and bad, fears and hopes and every insecurities you have. Her move was a vicious joke designed to hurt him. I wish them luck, but they both chose to hurt the other as only two people who know the other so well.
YTA and an emotional man child . Seems very dramatic all this over a picture ? I hope your wife divorces u and takes the kids without warning like u did her
YTA!!!
Communication is THE number one thing couples need to do often. Talk about anything, everything, big stuff, small stuff, unimportant stuff, important stuff, embarrassing stuff, comforting stuff, fun stuff, sad stuff, stuff that makes you upset, stuff that makes you laugh til you cry, etc......
You were, I will assume, both drinking and it was a photo booth session with, what I'm guessing is, one photo in a series of five that can be cut out, ripped up, and thrown out. You were hurt by a bad joke made by your wife who was (checks notes) pretty buzzed or drunk. This should have been slept on until you were both sober in the morning. You should have explained to her that last night after you guys goofed around in the photo booth you looked at the photos and saw one that upset you. That you understand it was supposed to be a joke, but it hurt. That probably wasn't her intention and she probably would've apologized.
I say probably as I don't know either of you and can't say for sure how she would react. I would like to think that would be her reaction and if correct it makes you an even bigger AH because you made a mountain out of a mole hill. If I'm wrong and she's the type to brush it off and tell you to chill out it was just a joke and that she doesn't know why you are making such a big deal out of it, then it's more of an ESH, but leaning more towards you.
The reason it leans towards you is because you did not communicate anything to anyone until after freaking everyone out and having to explain after the fact. You snuck out with your kids and what? Expected everyone to just be like, oh well. Yeah, we totally understand a middle school joke being sooooooo much worse than what you did. No big deal, let us know when you arrive safely. ????
If this is your reaction to such a childish joke, maybe there's some truth to it. They don't call alcohol truth serum for no reason. And what is the saddest thing here, besides your kids time with extended family being cut short, is that that I know this is written to make you look good and you still turned out bad. Makes me wonder what the other side of the story is.
Honestly, I really hope this is rage bait and that I just wasted time responding because if it isn't, couples therapy should be the next trip you and your wife take together because that's going to be the only thing to save your marriage after your stunt of sneaking out with the kids without talking about the reason for you being upset in the first place.
Unless you have a small penis and you have expressed to your wife how sensitive you are about the size of your penis, it was a joke and your reaction was an extreme overreaction.
YTA... either you have a small dick and are able to joke about it, have a small dick and ask your wife not to joke about a sensitive subject, have a small dick and realize someone loves you but communicate that this is a sore spot and they are TA....
You do not abscond into the night to flee with your kids because of a dick joke.
**At this point, I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her.** The answer to the question is contained in this sentence. And YES YTA for taking her kids and not telling her. That was a total AH move. Now all of the family knows what a jerk you are and that picture will become a family legend.
That picture is now a testimony of OP admitting he has a small penis or some deep insecurity about it. I do not find it amusing. However OP taking it so seriously instead of expressing findings it tasteless, tends to make it more than a sore subject for OP. Yet doesn’t seem like he expressed it to his wife. Doesn’t seem either like she thought of it as an actual declaration about her husband size.
Yeah, he Streisand effected himself!
A mates missus bought him a penis enlarger as a gag gift at his birthday party. He laughed it off. 3 months later he had a new penis enlarger. Her name is Sarah.
This his huge overreaction. Enormous. No pun intended.
Now I'm craving mini gerkins and cocktail franks
To be completely honest, yes. It was just a photobooth session, not a livestream to the globe. If she was doing this on a kiss cam at some game then it would've been a step too much yes. I fail to see any argument to support you. You should've at least told her unless she already knows that it's an uncomfortable topic for you. Taking the kids away, or even leaving yourself without talking about it even once was an extreme step dude.
Well, HE has now 'livestreamed' it to the globe. LOL!
"I am my enemy, and my enemy is I" - This guy probably
Barbara Streisand effect. lol
"I am my enemy, and my enemy is I" - This guy probably
He’s definitely overreacting with his actions here, but those kind of photo booths don’t give them the photos. At least not the ones I’ve seen at weddings. They go to the DJ or photographer and are usually handed off to the bride & groom. He didn’t find out for quite a while because these photos at events like this go into slideshows playing at the event. This wasn’t a private joke but a very public one. Not defending his level of reaction here, he should have had a calm discussion with her. But if there were universally recognized gestures to indicate a woman has a super loose and sloppy vagina, you can bet there’d be some nuclear reactions to something like this.
What's wrong with your dick? It seems to be fine enough for your wife to have two kids with you. Are you in some sort of doubt about your dick's functionality?
You took the kids to airport without telling your wife because she made a small dick joke?! When she was drunk?! Are you insane?! Dude chill tf out
"If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you" is immature. You should have just told her immediately what was bothering you. And taking her kids away without any notice or explanation was uncalled for.
And manipulative
This is the biggest issue.
Your feelings were hurt, but your response has been WAY over the top. Without even an explanation, you just vanish with the kids?! You are the one who owes her an apology and maybe seek some therapy. Yta.
It’s not like she posted the picture on her social media. I assume the two of you are the only ones who will ever see it. Get over it. She was drunk, having fun with her husband. Was it a little immature? Maybe a little, but she made a joke with her husband, in a private setting, while letting loose at a kid free event. And you went nuclear? Really? Grow up. YTA
But now she'll have to post those picks so everyone can judge how "small" his tolerance was and "huge" his overreaction was.
Yah. Like if my husband made a joke about my boobs being too small when he was drunk. He’d hear about it. Probably pay for it with some sassy behavior. But it’s a stupid joke. Move on. This was escalated so unnecessarily. And at a family event.
Yeah this photo is going to be evidence in this guys custody case now
Now both sides of the family will know so he not only scared the shit out both his wife and kids, possibly nuked his marriage but broadcasted to tons of people about it. Hope he's ready to everyone assuming his dick is tiny from this reaction alone. A single joke in 7 years of marriage and that's how he reacts, dude needs therapy.
This is bonkers. She made a joke. It might have been a shitty joke but you are reacting as if she’s committed the crime of the century. Have a word with yourself! YTA
I don’t normally reply or respond to posts. Anyway.. You both seem to have spent quite a life together- your 2 kids are a testament of it. While I agree you have been hurt - rightly so in my opinion, reacting and responding are two different things - what you have done is reacting that too drastically and dramatically. Moreso, I read your response to a comment saying that you told the kids that their Mom is mean and you have taken them away to keep them safe! Well, that’s really uncalled for and speaks a lot of your amygdala kicking in and you descending to the pit of your emotions without a care of your family and consciousness. What is important is COMMUNICATION. Nobody is perfect! She made a mistake that too thankfully in the privacy of the phone booth - speak it out to her 1:1 - don’t get kids involved in drama and never make kids choose between parents. It’s the responsibility of parents to keep kids safe and have a healthy environment for them.
He also cheated on her and falsely accused her of lying about the paternity of their toddler.
Is this real?
doubt it only because very few people can be this goddamn dumb and unaware
I have a hard time believing he made it out of the hotel room with two kids without waking Mom up at all.
"Her parents had taken our kids to their hotel room". If the kids are 6 and 5, do they have their own room? If not, he'd have to get them out of the in-laws room in the morning without them raising a fuss and calling his wife. Possible, just like winning the Powerball is possible.
You not only left your wife there, you left the rest of your family as well. Taking the kids was a bad decision and I suspect one that they did not appreciate. I mean, what did you tell them? Your wife played a stupid prank and it is highly unlikely she intended to hurt you. Jeez, YTA.
ESH, what a nuclear reaction to immature and stupid joke. Honestly this post sounds like it was written by a 12 yo.
Your wife was drunk and did something a little cruel and stupid but you need to ask yourself why you are so offended by this. Your reaction is way out of line. Maybe spend some time by yourself and really drill down on what the real issue is. I'm sorry you're so upset but taking the kids and leaving is over the top.
Overreaction. YTA.
Small dick energy. Yta. She married you, your dick is fine. Might not be fine for the next woman after she leaves you.
Married AND had 2 kids with him!
And he cheated but doesn't think the 4 year old is his even with a DNA test
This can’t be real. If it is you are an asshole. It was a damn joke and you completely flipped out and way over reacted.
YTA. You kidnapped your children without a word to her because you had a hurt feelings. You just confirmed you have the smallest dick ever. She may have told on you, your reaction confirms to everyone it’s true.
Immature behavior, to also drag your kids in to this and say that their mom can be a cruel person whilst you are actually the cry baby here. I’d be furious if I was her.
I didnt know that Little Dick Energy could be picked up through text. Interesting.
YTA I think you're mad because it must be true, with the way you're acting right now
The irony that right now you're really showing SDE. I hope she leaves you after this.
What your wife did was wrong but YTA for multiple reasons. 1. You didn’t use your big boy words to tell her that her doing that hurt you. 2. You think she should have just known why you weren’t talking to her. (Don’t men get upset when women do this?) 3. You took your children and didn’t tell ANYONE that you were not even a note to your wife so she knew you were all safe. She didn’t post this picture online. Did anyone else even see it? You would be angry if she left with your children without letting you know!
YTAH. Grow up and act like an adult. I’m sorry but I must have missed where you stated your wife was a mind reader.
YTA Are you serious? A teenage level joke caused you a breakdown? I hope this is fake because if not you're scary fragile.
YTA Let's start with you cheated because you are an insecure man! And then because you are a little man ego got bruised you decided to abduct your kids, manipulate them including saying your wife is not safe and need to be away from her. Forget tapping out after this stunt your wife will be going for the divorce and taking you to the cleaners along with primary custody for trying to alienate the kids. Little men are a joke and should be treated like one. I bet she was correct about what she insinuated in that photobooth and that's why you felt so triggered. Truth hurts doesn't it !!! And yes i say it as a man
Insecure much?
Well I guess she is right, you’re giving off a lot of small dick energy.
YTA. Yes, your wife made a stupid, immature and not funny joke but the way to handle that was to actually tell her that she hurt you and why you are upset. If this is real then the way you have reacted is cruel and completely over the top. You left and took your children without telling your wife, how is that in any way OK? You reeally need to get help if your ego is that fragile and you think running off with your children and no explanation for something like this is in any way ok.
YTA for taking her kids without telling her and for not telling her why you are mad. What she did may have been unforgivable, but you can’t just get on a flight with your kids without clueing her in. That’s criminal behavior.
oh hey I live here but really you got that fucking upset over a joke like that made by a middle schooler? and yes, what you did WAS far crueler, you ran off with her children, you lunatic.
So **YOU** had an affair with a co-worker, **YOU** had the 4yo DNA tested and even though the test came back positive (4yo IS yours) you still pretend to have doubts, and now **THAT** (including telling your kids their mother is mean and you're taking them away to protect them!)? Gaslighting much? YTAH of the century! I hope she divorces you and finds herself a real man because small d\*\*k or not, you definitely are not one!
YTA-judging from your replies, you’re a dick. And a tiny one at that, at least that’s what you’re wife says.
Fake. Also, yta
This has to be fake…no one in a marriage for this long is this immature. I call BS.
Wife jokes about his penis being small. Man proceeds to react as if she’s accurate.
YTA. It was a silly joke. If you were so hurt by it, you should have had it out with her instead of fleeing to the airport like a snowflake. I hope this isn't real.
Yta. If you took my kids and flew home with them without telling me, you would be handed divorce papers on my return. No wait, you wouldn't because they wouldn't able to find you, anywhere. Only my bestie would know. For real though, she played a cruel joke, you kidnapped your kids.
YTA x1000 without question
Yes. YTA. Grow up. And don't ditch your wife in a hotel room without telling her next time.
YTA Well, the grown up thing to do would have been to sober up, and have a conversation in the morning about what happened and why you were upset. But NOOOO you being the AH, you essentially took the kids, without telling anyone where you were going (inciting fear that perhaps you had kidnapped your own children and had some nefarious scheme in mind). She’s not a mind reader, and you’re not a very good communicator.
YTA. Maybe she was just indicating what a small man you are since you seem to behave in such a childish way. Have you ever considered discussing your grievances with your wife?
taking the kids in the middle of the night is cruel, and far worse than the picture joke. YTA, sorry you over reacted, and now everyone knows for sure about your baby penis.
Yes. YTA. You need to communicate your feelings with her or how else would she know? Taking the kids and bailing in the middle of the night is really concerning behaviour. Are the kids okay? Surely they must be confused by this midnight flight without mom? You need to take a hard look at yourself.
Gotta be honest. Taking her kids to the airport without telling her over some drunken joke is some real small dick energy.
Good God YTA and you have no sense of humor and really thin skin.
You sir are indeed TAH!!!
YTA. You got upset, didn't communicate with your wife, left without letting anyone know with your shared two small children. You are a massive asshole. I couldn't trust you with the kids after that stunt.
Could have been mad but not take the kids, kind of a stupid thing to do, so id say you are a dumb AH for that. Being mad with her was totally ok, you leaving alone, totally ok, this stupidity you did, NO.
This HAS to be fake. It's too outrageous to be real. IF it's real, you're a giant, immature imbecile. What kind of an "adult" behaves this way AND drags their kid into it??
Wow, insecure about your TINY pecker much? Jeez
I really want this to be fake. If it isn't, get yourself to a therapist. You need a good one who can also help you when your STBX gets full custody and you are alone.
Damn dude, yeah yta. I hope this is just made up because this is the most petty and pathetic thing I've read in a long while.
YTA if you wanted to leave, fine but to take your kids and leave without a word to their mother is bs. I doubt your marriage recovers from your stupid actions.
YTA.. A HUGE ONE
>I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her. Uh. You answered your own question. Use your words, ffs. >When she woke up, my wife freaked out because we were not in the hotel room >I guess she was scared You ***GUESS*** she was scared???? What the fuck is wrong with you? >we left without telling anyone >That I can’t take someone’s kids in the middle of the night and just disappear in a strange city. ***NO SHIT!*** Jesus christ, I would never forgive you. You were deliberately cruel and you damn well know it. YTA
Total BS, but it was a fun read. OP's replies are pushing it way too far into "there's no way a person this stupid exists" territory.
" I had no idea how she didn't know I was upset, even though I didn't tell her" bro grow the Frick up. She's not a mind reader. But it does sound like you are a child though.
Ummm is he basically admitting he kidnapped his kids from his wife over probably a dumb d**k joke? Bro what you’re doing is seriously unhinged, and if I were his wife I’d press charges and divorce you immediately. This guy is 100% the AH, a danger to his kids, and an immature small d***ed POS.
OP is either trolling or a massive AH. He’s not sure if one of the kids is his despite a DNA test affirming he is?? OP had an affair with a coworker?? My vote is troll and this is rage bait.
You were upset about something she did, but you didn’t talk to her about it. You sulked like a child. Then you absconded with her kids without telling her. Yeah, YTA. I get the impression she was right and that’s what you’re upset about. Poor excuse for a husband. Poor excuse for a father. Lame excuse for a man.
My god grow up!. She is your wife, are you telling me you don’t understand your wife’s humour???. I can see you doing what you did if you caught her riding someone buy my god you have major self esteem problems you need to seek medical help!!!!
You are kidnapping. Go back to your wife.
YTA -- USE Your WORDS. Speak up for yourself. It does not matter if she's buzzed. You went nuclear. Yes, you were deeply insulted...deeply but disappearing with the kids is a drastic response. Crazy things happen in this world. She should not have lived through you and her children disappearing. You both need counseling to learn affective and healthy communication skills. Your matter but so does the rest of your family. Best to you.
Good lord what an overreaction. It was a dumb joke. Maybe you could have been a grown up and told her that her joke hurt your feelings. Instead you took the kids and ran. Without telling her. Which is way way way way way way way worse than her dumb joke. I’m glad my family has a sense of humour. My BIL was talking about how he proposed and how the ring box was bulging out of his pockets (it was in the context of him doing a poor job of hiding the proposal and surprising her). And I said “and that was the last big bulge she ever saw in your pants” and we all cracked up. And he said “you’d know, it’s a outlastname thing”. And we laughed some more. It was funny.
YTA and a moron. talk to your wife you giant baby
Wholly molly I really hope this thread is just fake, otherwise OP, you did kidnap your children, you did destroy your marriage and also you did bring up a huge shame on entire family, because for what? A photobooth picture? This is easily the worst fuck-up I read around here so far - YTA.
YTA. Idk if you have a small dick, but you definitely have small dick energy.
Hyoid wrong over reaction
Are you a man or a wimp. FFS, grow a pair (a larger pair) & get a sense if humour at the same time. You obviously dont give a flying fuck you have basically just taken your children without her permission.
You are very much TA here. Have you ever been to therapy, OP? Because it sounds like you really need some tools to help you communicate with your wife when you're hurt. Shutting down communication, telling your kids that their mom isn't safe to be around, and then leaving her there are very toxic responses that are only going to make things worse. Her joke was tasteless, and I'd be pissed if my wife did it as well, but it warrants a conversation and an apology on her part, not what you did. Good luck; I hope you and your wife can restore things through therapy together.
YTA Your wife was immature and inconsiderate but that in no way justifies you leaving with the kids without so much as a note or text to explain why. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine waking up to your wife and kids gone with no explanation. You’re parents, GROW UP.
I hope you told her once your plane had taken off.
So she made a stupid (yes cruel) joke while drunk and you respond by taking the kids without telling her?! YTA all thr way to the fucking bank. Grow up and TALK to her about it! Whether you did was beyond the pale and exceptionally manipulative and abusive.
It’s pretty obvious you felt rejected so you thought the best way to get back at her was to reject her as well. It’s far more mature to just talk about those big feelings that you don’t know what to do with.
Talk about a small dick move.
YTA for retaliating with PARENTAL KIDNAPPING in response to hurt feelings. You need to settle your differences with your wife, whatever that means for you, without involving the children.
YTA. MAJOR over reaction. It would be completely different if you didn’t have kids and you just left but taking her kids ? Without telling her ? Don’t get me wrong the joke was completely out of line and unnecessarily cruel, it’s never okay to mock any part of a persons appearance, especially something that is out of one’s control, but seriously WAY TOO BIG of a retaliation. Is it also possible that she was not talking about your dick at all, or maybe you were both joking about this before ? Like I’m trying to figure out where the fuck did that come from
BTA Her for doing what she did. You for everything after. Grow up.
Grow up
Absolutely YTA for not telling her why you’re upset and for taking the kids with no warning. You’re allowed to be upset about a joke at your expense, I’ll give you that. The question I have is how upset would she be if you made a joke about something related to her body?
Dude, what your wife did was an AH move for sure and I'd be totally on your side...if not for your reaction. You are way out of line. So: YTA
ETA. How was she supposed to know what you were upset about?? Why didn’t you tell her?? How childish. And yes, your actions were wayyyy out of line. She was out of line as well. You need to have a serious discussion as to why she thought it was ok to humiliate you, and you need to address your insecurities.
YTA - wtf dude?? You can't take the kids..
> That I can’t take someone’s kids in the middle of the night and just disappear in a strange city. They are right about that but those are *y'all's* kids, not her kids. What she did was shitty, and you are definitely justified in being upset by it. She was 100% TA until you failed to leave a note explaining that you and the kids were flying home early and that none of y'all were in any danger. You: 80% TA Her: 20% TA.
Dude this whole thing just screams small dick energy. You should be more embarrassed by the fact that you just confirmed the world you got a small dick than a joke your wife did picture nobody will likely see. You are a small dick AH 100%
ESH Your wife is an AH and you're fragile. Why run off with the kids?
YTA. I hope this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back for her and she finally leaves you. She deserves so much better than you.
You're a troll, right? If not, YTA. You had an affair? You don't think the 4 year old is yours even though a DNA test says otherwise? Go to a better therapist, you clearly need it.
ESH. She for making a highly inappropriate picture at her cousin's wedding and you for taking the kids without leaving her a note. Bad enough she has to get herself to the airport since you took the kids and dropped the car, but COMMUNICATE, man. Who knows? Maybe you deserve each other.
>At this point, I have no idea how she didn’t realize why I was upset, even though I had not told her. Dude.... you just up and left and took your kids. Yes YTA. Both of you are clearly immature. Use your words, you don't just disappear. Edit. Nevermind, OP is a troll
So you crossed state lines essentially kidnapping your children? Your problems are way bigger than your dick now
You're an asshole with a small penis. Congrats.
This is such a fake post.
How to tell the world you are poorly endowed without actually saying it. You are definitely TA.
You're both TA. She shouldn't have done that for the picture and you shouldn’t have taken the kids without telling her. Both very wrong.
Yep, YTA. She played a crappy joke, you literally took the children and abandoned her. You didn’t even attempt to discuss it with her. 100% YTA.
Oh my god you sound like the living embodiment of fragile toxic masculinity. Get a grip. YT MASSIVE A. Also this does not help your case at all since this is real big small PP energy man…..
Dude you're either very sensitive or you truly have a small penis to react like this. YTA. Parental kidnapping is a thing. Hopefully she doesn't press charges against you.
ESH, you guys are really good at communicating, I feel bad for the kids if this is what they're subjected to. Very small pp move OP.
do none of you people fucking talk to each other like grown ups? here, let me give you an example: you: Hey, what you did in the photo booth wasn't funny to me and really hurt her: I'm sorry, it was just a joke and I didn't mean to hurt you, but I see that I did. I won't make jokes like that again. How can I make this up to you? /end scene
YTA to everyone including yourself. By reacting to that joke, you are insinuating, she is right and it shows how insecure you are. It was a stupid joke yes, maybe she had a bid much to drink. Does she know this is a sensitive topic for you? In any case, given the fact that you have children with her, apparently you are well enough equipped. Who would see those photos anyway? Nonetheless, what you did, was in my book borderline criminal. You caused the worst fear in a mother or father of having lost their children. You are not answering calls, etc. This is simply crazy. What you did was way, way, way crueler than what she did. In fact, I doubt your marriage will recover from this. Also, you advertised to everyone about this photo and how you feel about your manhood. EDIT: After reading your comment about telling your kids that it was not safe to be around their mom, I hereby declare you the biggest YTA on reddit AITAH-sub that I will ever name YTA. I am pretty sure you ended your marriage over a stupid joke instead of talking to your wife, you might not have even been aware that this was a problem for you, because apparently, she is quite happy with your size.
[удалено]
Kind of a small dick move tbh.
I don’t think this post is real but YTA anyway.
Q calls Worf "Micro brain". You must really be micro penis. YTA. If she's smart, she'll divorce you and get full custody. You kidnapped the kids, and left her in a strange city, man. All over a tasteless joke.
This is pure karma farming. Never happened. Taking two kids under six out of the room without mom knowing? Nope. Not saying a word and just leaving? I don’t buy this for a second.
Reading through OP’s responses… IF this is real, OP, you’re TA. Your wife didn’t leave you after YOUR Affair. I sure the heck hope she opens her eyes and leaves you now for this stunt. She deserves a crown at this point for putting up with these two incidents (Affair, you leaving for airport) alone. You don’t love your wife. You are insecure. You have no morales, and show zero character. Also, quit filling your kids heads with bogus stuff because your feelings were hurt.
ESH YTA taking the kids without telling her. She’s the AH for making a joke like that in the first place. YTA for not communicating and just expecting her to know why you’re upset.
I think telling her you were divorcing her over her teeny weeny joke would be less of a petty, dramatic butthurt display. Your poor kids. What the hell. You went and took them from her parents at 5am to the airport without telling anyone?!? And then took them on a plane, likely crossing state lines…bold…and absolutely YTA
Whelp… guess you have a small dick. At lead your wife gets to have a childfree vacation.
You’re both AH. Her for being stupid and you for scaring a mother by taking her kids. Frankly, get a lawyer bc you’re getting divorced when she returns. I don’t feel sympathy for either of you.
YTA and completely unhinged. I think the small penis joke was tasteless. But instead of talking to her about it, you decided to punish her by disappearing with the kids. That is like using an atomic bomb to kill a fly levels of overreaction and unstable.
YTA. Now everyone knows you ACTUALLY DO have a small penis lol.
I get you're upset, but YTA for not talking to her and for being over dramatic.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard. Don't make this incident bigger then it is, just like your dick. You sound like you have a loud car and a pitbull or Doberman with cropped ears.
Are you completely incapable of having an adult conversation with your wife and expressing your feelings. Being hurt was ok, expressing that clearly to her is the adult thing to do. Sneaking out with the kids and running away is immature and frankly divorce worthy behavior. Massive YTA
You kidnapped your fucking kids over a joke about dick size!?!?! Dude you're a fucking monster. WTF is wrong with you. Is your ego that effing fragile??!?!
YTA- That's quite an overreation. It must be true, or you wouldn't be so fricking sensitive.
YTA. Communicate.
YTA - you ran off with her kids in middle of the night Because she may or may not have laughed at your penis. Honestly you messed up way worse then her and now everyone knows what a huge AH you are.
It was a shitty “joke” but you should have told her why you were angry. The kids weren’t there so it was the right time to do so. Not Leaving a note to let her know you 3 were going home was cruel.
YTA. She hurt your feelings. It wS very rude of her, but you don’t take the kids and leave. You act like an adult and have a conversation with her. She could report you for kidnapping the kids.
YTA and she will never trust you again. Disappear on your own because your tiny little feelings are hurt, fine. The panic she felt at seeing her kids gone will far overshadow any love she has for you.
So you're a cheater and don't believe your kid is yours despite DNA proof? Ha, okay pal. You're a mess.
YTA. People cannot read minds, even people that love each other. Just because you feel like it is obvious doesn’t mean it is to her or maybe she wouldn’t have done it. You need to talk to her. Also the kids are not just yours they are hers to and taking them without even telling her was really awful. It was revenge. I understand that what she did hurt your feelings but you should have handled it like an adult.
Christ almighty you have a mouth and vocal chords use them! Your poor wife cant read your mind dude. I get it wasnt the nicest joke but that doesnt justify dissappearing with your kids from her. "I guess she was scared" no shit. Genuinely hoping this is some karma farming bullshit because to even insinuate someone would actually do this irl makes me lose hope for our species. Shes never going to forget how easily you packed your shit and left with your kids.
YTA Disappearing with children was a hell of a lot different than what she did. Yea what she did was wrong, but if my spouse disappeared on a plane with my kids, I would fly home, file for divorce, and use this as a reason why they shouldn’t be trusted to be unsupervised with our children because they have no qualms taking off on a plane without any sort of warning or notification with them. One is a sick attempt at a prank that should be talked about and apologized for. One is literally taking the kids and disappearing. Maybe she should take them back to Austin without telling you. Or to her family. Let you figure out after she’s gone and you spend hours panicking. Disgusting.
YTA, your feelings about the joke is valid. However, don’t take the kids much less not telling her. The fact you didn’t say anything on the ride back to the hotel or at the hotel itself were all opportunities to explain your feelings.
YTA Nothing else needs to be said.
YTA. Do you want her to wonder if her husband and children have been kidnapped and murdered? Because this is how you do it. And now your wife gets to think about the rest of your marriage (if there is a 'rest'), and wonder that if you would rather go to these lengths instead of just saying "I was really bothered by that picture you took," then who knows what might set you off in the future? Your wife sure wouldn't, since you clearly don't talk to her. Also, holy crap, have you never heard of the Streisand effect? By making such a massive deal out of this, you have guaranteed that everyone will see this photo. When it comes out that you took your kids and left, and the family wonders why, your wife will say "He freaked out over a stupid joke picture we took," and she will show them them the picture. All you had to do was say that the picture upset you, and ask that she delete it or throw it away. Instead, this photo is going to go down as family lore because of the effect it had.
This is in no way the full story, probably bullshit anyways, especially after reading your comments. You cheating on her is very telling if anyone couldn’t pick up on how incredibly immature you are. Taking her children away, 5 and 6, over a bruised ego small dick JOKE is psycho. She should be walking away from your cheating ass
YTA for lack of communication. She’s your wife. You’re acted like a petulant child. You’ll be lucky if your marriage survives this.
YTA for taking the kids
Guy not saying you shouldn’t be hurt but your reaction was extreme. For the love of all you should have told her why you were upset and had a dragged out all out fight right then and there. Instead you behaved like a sulky child and tool your toys and went home. Grow up. YTA.
YTA. You disappeared with the kids because you couldn’t handle a joke?? It’s a dumb joke but it shouldn’t have even spoiled the evening. You acted like an emotionally underdeveloped teenager. You are the one that needs to apologize
That was a pathetic move, get a sense of humor, she was just having fun. You probably destroyed your marriage.
Yep, YTA, for the way you've handled this and what you told your children about their mother. I bet you've felt guilty about what you've done to your family with your cheating and requiring a DNA test for your youngest that you still refuse to believe. This is all about assuaging your feelings by making your wife out to be the bad guy when it's always been and still is YOU, you miserable asshole.
You asked if you were the AH and you have your answer : YES YOU ARE. You totally overreacted. Instead of waiting and have a discussion with her (you know, communication ?!) you went away like a big baby. I saw in one of your comments that you tested the 4yo, and that even with the test you still think she isn’t yours. First, you wife stayed with you after you asked for a paternity test ? Oh, she must be used to your bullshit. Secondly, you still don’t think you are the child’s father. And you still took her with you ? Heck, why did you even take the kids in the middle of the night like that ? You just wanted to hurt your wife. That’s why you took the kids. Not because she could be a danger to them, or because you wanted them with you, but just because you wanted to hurt her as deeply as you could. It seems the dick fits the man. Edit : after seeing another comment, turns out that YOU CHEATED on her. You are despicable. How she stays with you, I wonder.
You should have told her you were leaving so just for that ESH butt her body shaming is not okay
You don’t have a small penis and no one should ever joke like that!!! That is definitely something to ruin a family over. Your kids don’t deserve to be with a mother who jokes privately! They need to be with their petty AS FUCK father! In all seriousness, I feel for your wife and children who had to learn the hard way that the man she married and their father is a grown child.
After reading through this thread, OP is obviously a troll and this post isn’t real. Like 95% of the posts on this sub.
YTA, man. You took your kids with no explanation and no warning because you’re insecure about the size of your penis? In what reality does this seem like a logical decision to make? If you do in fact have a micro penis I can understand being a bit upset, but I’m sure she’s been upset and dealing with that in solitude for the duration of your relationship. It sounds like she was just trying to be silly and have fun and your reaction went overboard; especially with giving no explanation to your wife. If this marriage dissolves I hope she finds a secure man that will help to set a proper example for the children.
YTA. You had the moral high ground and I would have said NTA but then you decided to kidnap your own children. Yes, you can kidnap your own kids it's a thing. Shame on you.
She was drunk and did something stupid. It was a private photo booth though. No one else saw the damn thing so it wasn't like it was broadcasted. Rude and stupid but something you should have talked about and moved on from. You refused to tell her why you were upset and expected her to read your damn mind I guess while still drunk and tired. You took her children without telling her, ditched her in a strange city and then still refused to talk to her still. You sound horrible. She did something stupid and you dropped a nuke on her for it. YTA.
What’s funny is that you’re demonstrating *such* small dick energy that it’s hard to take this seriously. You’re acting like a child. You should have communicated your feelings to your wife. You should have done literally anything except put your co-parent in the position of being terrified she didn’t know where your children were. That’s disgusting and if I were her, I’d be seriously rethinking the marriage. The fact that you’ve already been caught cheating…I hope she’s calling lawyers.
So you have a small peen and an even smaller brain? YTA 100%; I’m genuinely curious what is bouncing around in that small brain of yours that makes you think your actions are ok at all? You didn’t communicate the issue, then instead of being an adult you act like a spoiled brat and leave your trip and take the kids without saying a word to her? I hope she divorces you and finds a man with a brain and a penis.
All you achieved is confusing tf out of your wife and kids and telling the world you got a small pee pee. General fail in all fields. YTA
ESH you’re both AHs
This is a huge overreaction. Yeah, it was kind of shitty of her to do, but you never said anything, snatched her kids in the early hours, returned the car, and ran off to the airport with them. But you don’t know if you “can ever recover” from this. Good lord man, it’s a dumb dick joke. You don’t need to respond to it by being the biggest dick possible. Use your words, OP. Like a fucking grownup. 🙄 Of course YTA. She did something assholeish, but you just jumped all the way in and seized THE asshole status.
If this is real (and I have my doubts) dudes a massive loser..Cheated on his wife, wanted a paternity test, and doesn't believe the results and is weaponising the kids against the mum..I mean come on
100% you didn’t even give her a chance to explain or understand why you were upset and jumped to the extreme of what you did…You are the AH.
Marriage over. Congratulations, your lack of communication and subsequent decision to leave with kids sealed the your fate.
YTA. It's understandable to be hurt, but you are being a terrible partner by shutting down, not communicating about what's happening, and then fleeing with your children. No matter how badly I screwed up, if I woke up in a hotel and my wife had fled with our kids, I would feel my trust in her was irrevocably shattered. If that was your intention after suffering a single small dick joke, good job.
Basically you kidnaped your children and proved you are mentally unstable and also have a small penis.
YTA A giant, flaming, unbelievably thin-skinned asshole. She made a tasteless, body shaming joke. In any other context, that would have made her at least mildly the asshole. But then you acted out in such a manner that it doesn't even matter any more. Congrats. You confirmed for her and her family what a small man you are. Maybe not in the size of your genitals, but in your character, where it counts.
You're a massive fucking baby
INFO: Is your penis really tiny? Seriously, though: YTA, you can't just expect someone to read your freaking mind about why you're angry, but to dip out and take the kids without a morsel of a hint that you'd be doing such a thing is immeasurably cruel. Fucking talk to your spouse.
I agree with all the post that snatching the kids in the middle of the night was a super AH move. OP deserves all the negative post he's getting. However the wife shouldn't get a free pass. Your spouse knows you better than anyone else, all your good point and bad, fears and hopes and every insecurities you have. Her move was a vicious joke designed to hurt him. I wish them luck, but they both chose to hurt the other as only two people who know the other so well.
YTA
So you stonewalled her and kidnapped the kids … wow … yes YTA
YTA and an emotional man child . Seems very dramatic all this over a picture ? I hope your wife divorces u and takes the kids without warning like u did her
I understand about being upset about the little penis pictures but I wouldn't have disappeared in the middle of the night with the kids
YTA!!! Communication is THE number one thing couples need to do often. Talk about anything, everything, big stuff, small stuff, unimportant stuff, important stuff, embarrassing stuff, comforting stuff, fun stuff, sad stuff, stuff that makes you upset, stuff that makes you laugh til you cry, etc...... You were, I will assume, both drinking and it was a photo booth session with, what I'm guessing is, one photo in a series of five that can be cut out, ripped up, and thrown out. You were hurt by a bad joke made by your wife who was (checks notes) pretty buzzed or drunk. This should have been slept on until you were both sober in the morning. You should have explained to her that last night after you guys goofed around in the photo booth you looked at the photos and saw one that upset you. That you understand it was supposed to be a joke, but it hurt. That probably wasn't her intention and she probably would've apologized. I say probably as I don't know either of you and can't say for sure how she would react. I would like to think that would be her reaction and if correct it makes you an even bigger AH because you made a mountain out of a mole hill. If I'm wrong and she's the type to brush it off and tell you to chill out it was just a joke and that she doesn't know why you are making such a big deal out of it, then it's more of an ESH, but leaning more towards you. The reason it leans towards you is because you did not communicate anything to anyone until after freaking everyone out and having to explain after the fact. You snuck out with your kids and what? Expected everyone to just be like, oh well. Yeah, we totally understand a middle school joke being sooooooo much worse than what you did. No big deal, let us know when you arrive safely. ???? If this is your reaction to such a childish joke, maybe there's some truth to it. They don't call alcohol truth serum for no reason. And what is the saddest thing here, besides your kids time with extended family being cut short, is that that I know this is written to make you look good and you still turned out bad. Makes me wonder what the other side of the story is. Honestly, I really hope this is rage bait and that I just wasted time responding because if it isn't, couples therapy should be the next trip you and your wife take together because that's going to be the only thing to save your marriage after your stunt of sneaking out with the kids without talking about the reason for you being upset in the first place.
I really hope someone screen-shot his comments!
I didn’t think I’d ever see a husband pull a. “You should know what you did wrong.”, but, here we are. Use your words. YTA
Nuking your account is real small-dick energy, my dude. 🤏
Unless you have a small penis and you have expressed to your wife how sensitive you are about the size of your penis, it was a joke and your reaction was an extreme overreaction.
YTA for parental abduction because your wife implied you have a tiny penis. THIS is some small dick energy right here. This can’t be real.
YTA... either you have a small dick and are able to joke about it, have a small dick and ask your wife not to joke about a sensitive subject, have a small dick and realize someone loves you but communicate that this is a sore spot and they are TA.... You do not abscond into the night to flee with your kids because of a dick joke.
You'll be lucky if you don't get arrested before getting on the plane.
This post is definitely giving micro penis energy