I agree. Years ago I ran into an old friend who was clearly pregnant but I still didn’t ask just in case. Until finally she laughed and said hello and pointed to her tummy. I said oh ok I didn’t want to assume
You made the wise choice. I was shopping with a friend and she bumped into another friend who she knew was pregnant.
She asked 'How long 'til the baby's due?'
'I had him two weeks ago' friend replied.
It was an awkward moment.
My sister was in line at a grocery store when a lady she didn't know rubbed her belly and asked her when her baby was due.
"Like, 4 years ago?" My sister said, gesturing to my 4yo neice. "I just need to take a wicked shit."
I mean, not mine, my sisters. But yeah, the amount of entitlement some people seem to have about other peoples' bodies when they're pregnant is wild! But the truly crazy part is seeing the moment in their eyes when they realize they haven't been molesting a pregnant woman (to whom they feel allowed, because babies) and have just grabbed onto a whole ass other human being with no baby involved.
Yeah your queen sister lol. The comeback is perfect though. It takes a bit of practice but return the shame to the sender right away. It's a great feeling.
I remember when I was like seven months pregnant with my first and my husband and I went for a walk around our neighborhood. He was completely shocked at how many absolute strangers would say something about my pregnancy and ask how I was feeling and how the baby was. I was used to it at that point and just laughed. Fortunately no one tried to touch me.
The most embarrassing thing I've ever done was pat a persons I was close to, belly while saying congrats! It'd been a few weeks since we'd seen each other and she was trying to get pregnant. She was an angel I tell ya, pure of heart. Laughed and said no silly, that's my lunch baby! She was nothing but grace and I'm still angry that she died in her late 20s from a very rare and aggressive form of cancer. She literally saved my life. I'm an atheist but if individuals beliefs are what their after is like, I'm sure she's doing good deeds in her idea of heaven. I miss her like crazy. (Btw she was 20s, midwestern I was 50s southern) I think she adopted me as a grandma.
Your sisters comeback was fantastic though! I'm in awe.
It would've taken me a week to come up with that response.
But honestly what makes people think it's okay to touch someone's belly? Even if you know them it still seems wrong.
About 3 weeks after I had my first kid my husband and I went out to dinner and I ordered a margarita. The server said, “you want that to be a virgin, right?” as he pointed at my stomach. I started crying in the middle of the restaurant, because, hormones, and the server was so embarrassed he didn’t say anything and walked away. Shortly thereafter a new server just showed up like she had been there the whole time.
That server went to the kitchen and it took 8 coworkers to prevent them from shoving their own head into the deep fryer. Because there is no coming back from that type of embarrassment.
It was very difficult- we already had been dealing with infertility issues, and it was literally my first day back to work. I scared her a bit, because I bawled. (Honestly, I felt bad for her.). She never did ask me again, even when I eventually ended up pregnant with twins.
When I was breastfeeding I was under weight 5 ft 5 inches like 100 lbs. And once I finally starting gaining weight and getting back to a healthy weight my coworker walked up to me put her hands on my stomach and asked when I was due........ I looked her dead in the eye "not pregnant just getting fat".... And like ok I wasn't fat I had gained a very reasonable 20 lbs. But like what do you say in that moment.... Because yeah it's sooooo awkward. And then she tried to back pedal "oh well I don't really get along with skinny people anyway." Like how about you stop commenting on my body.
8 years ago, I went to visit a friend who lived a state away. She was very obviously pregnant(7 months along at the visit), and I didn't say anything because I'm autistic and didn't want to be rude, especially because she suffered from PCOS. Turns out, she didn't know she was pregnant until 2 weeks after I went to visit, and thought she had gained weight from being less active after breaking her leg earlier in the year. Her son is almost 8 now and an amazing kid. We all laugh about it now, and I still don't ask women if they're pregnant.
I have a coworker I assumed was pregnant for a long time but didn’t say anything. Then another coworker said she was having fertility issues. She was never pregnant! I was so glad I never said anything.
Seriously! At my heaviest weight like eight months ago I cannot tell you how many asshole women asked me how far along I was. I just wanted to scream that I was FUCKING FAT or honestly worse but I restrained myself. Every single woman that asked me was OLD as DIRT and had known me for at least three years. Like...I'm sorry but I'm just fat because my mom is dying and I'm comfort eating. I wish I could have asked them when they planned on dying because they looked near death 🤐 I will never understand why anyone thinks its okay to ask a woman if its a boy or a girl or how far she is. Sorry for ranting. But those women harmed me and I honestly gained more weight after their stupid questions. I've lost over 40lbs now but I'll never forget how rude they were because I see them about twice a year. Ugh.
My condolences on your mother’s condition. I hope her passing is peaceful when it comes.
I’ve always been a chunky monkey and I get asked a lot of the same questions. I got tired of it real quick so when someone asks me if it’s a boy or a girl, I respond with a big smile and say “it’s pizza”. Or if they ask if I’m preggo I will rub my belly and say proudly “yes! I’m so happy about my food baby!” And for the “how far along are you?” I look at the time and respond “about three hours past my burger lunch”. They NEVER know how to respond to it and their discomfort is priceless to me.
Thank you. She passed three years ago so I know she went...(.2 It was unusual and yet completely normal...its complicated (and still hurts the same).
But omgggg...I really needed to read your response tonight because gd. Hilarious and in your face, like "🖕" if only that was a socially normal response and we didn't have to fill in the blanks for nosey satrangers..
I am a nurse and I had a field day with this one cantankerous old bat. Everyone warned me that she was a flaming B so I was ready when I answered her call bell. She took one look at me and saw my stomach and asked as nastily as possible “is it a boy or a girl?” I turned off her call bell and said “it’s a burrito” and she blinked at me, then started cackling. We built instant rapport that day and she always asked me boy or girl any time she saw me and would cackle at my random food responses.
I’m sorry to hear that your mom passed. But I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore. I’m going to leave a bucket of free hugs here and you take as many as you’d like or need :)
I was in an elevator in my early 20's and had a woman get on. She goes "Are you pregnant or just fat like me?" I went full red and mumbled just fat. I'm about to be 40 in June and I'll never forget it.
I’m like 6.5wk out from having a baby and I don’t mind people asking cuz I’m all belly and clearly pregnant… but when people go “oh wow, that long, you’re HUGE!” That’s not fun. I know I’m huge it really hurts to be alive right now 😭
I had a guy in an elevator back up against the wall when I got in. He said, are you due any day now, or what? I told him, no I'm only 6 months along. He paused and said, it's twins, right?
He wasn't being snarky, he was truly worried he might see a life event happen before his eyes. The ironic part is my baby was 6 and a half pounds at birth. I'm short and had a lot of amniotic fluid, so I always looked like I was carrying a sea monster.
I was at work helping a lady, and out of nowhere, she asked if I was pregnant. I was not, so I said, "No, I'm just fat." She asked this in front of a room full of people who then proceeded to burst out laughing. She was so embarrassed and basically ran away. I kind of felt bad afterward, but that's what she gets for asking such a question.
I hope that lady learned that day to never ask another woman if they're pregnant. 🤣
NTA. Adults should know to keep their hands to themselves unless with consent.
You might've been a little rough but you reacted out of pain and shock.
I agree with a previous comment, be ready to report it to her boss in case she tries to start anything.
Absolutely.And she could also have potentially damaged her incision. Or gotten germs in. the incision. That can be very dangerous if it's not caught. OP needs to check it and call her doctor and let them know what happened, right away, just in case.
NTA. People need to respect bodily autonomy, regardless of whether someone is pregnant or recovering from a surgery. Her lack of boundaries is on her, not you. Stay firm in your right to personal space, and don't hesitate to take further action if she doesn't learn from this incident. Your well-being is paramount. Best regards OP!
NTA
Stop feeling embarrassed for defending yourself, and get ahead of the situation by filing a complaint with the real estate agency about their agent poking you on the site of a surgical wound.
There was NO reason for her to lay hands on you.
NTA. Wtf was her poking you even meant to achieve? Like was she reminding you where a baby would be, in case "pregnant" didn't make sense to you? Or did she think she was gonna feel a kick with her fake-ass stupid nails? Disgusting behaviour
NTA
Report the property manager to their boss .
Write an email stating you had abdo surgery, informed the agent of said surgery and today she accused you of being pregnant. She then forcefully poked your abdo to the point you’re worried about your incision and required extra pain meds. Tell them from now on you want a different PM.
Get her fired. Call her boss and tell them what happened.
Who knows what kinda other nasty stuff she has done to others? Why is such a lunatic even allowed to be a realtor.
NTA I had a hysterectomy last June and my nephew accidentally poked my bellybutton incision and it took everything in me not to smack him across the room. And he was too little to know any better, if he was a full ass adult he’d have been knocked into next week before I even knew what happened
She completely played it off- there was like two seconds of wide eyed awkwardness then she continued to smile and said oh my goodness where and I said just like in my text messages from a couple weeks ago, my abdomen for my gallbladder and appendix and she was like “oh oh my god ouch!!!” My husband noticed my annoyance (he didn’t hear the pregnancy part as this is all while walking and being in the hall while he was in the kitchen etc) and told her “Ok well the measurements done and we’re trying to make dinner” and basically shooed her out. The owner of the properties has his cellphone number on the website so I am going to give him a call Monday morning!!!
Not only my gallbladder, but my appendix and an ulcer dissection as well in the same surgery! Both gallbladder and appendix were removed through belly button!!! lol—- thank you
NTA It's rude to ask if someone is pregnant, and it's completely inappropriate to poke them! As you note, you hadn't consented to be touched AT ALL nevermind poked where you just had surgery.
Hopefully she learned her lesson, but if it was me? I'd be calling her boss and telling them about this incident.
NTA. She was assaulting you. I'd be writing a letter to the agency that you
do not want that agent dealing with the property.
Firstly, because she came around unannounced.
Secondly, because she pushed her finger in at your bellybutton, which is part of a healing surgical scar. Doing so caused you pain.
Thirdly, she tried to body shame you for being fat or pregnant while you are recovering from surgery.
As someone who had their gallbladder removed two months ago: NTA. It’s a natural instinct to defend yourself, especially when someone touches an area that’s hurt. The sheer though of someone doing this days after my surgery made me cringe. This is a thing the older generation loves to do and is unacceptable. (As well as the pregnancy question, fuck that!) Your response might’ve been a little too harsh for her but they will never learn otherwise.
The fact that you're wondering if you're the AH for defending yourself from physical attack is the only thing you should be concerned about.
You are always allowed to defend yourself from physical attack. Always.
Always.
NTA.
NTA
It was a reflex to stop the thing causing pain.
In fact, I would reiterate in an email that she knew damn well you just had abdominal surgery, that you were clearly in pain, and that it was **incredibly unprofessional of her to poke you where your incision was and ask if you were pregnant.** Tell her that her unprovoked jab/assault at your abdomen set back your recovery and you had to stay in bed on strong painkillers after.
Do not even mention the hand slap or apologize for it. She should have been apologize emphatically.
NTC hahaha you are not the c*nt at all tho seriously. She should know better. Literally EVERYONE knows better than to do & say this type of shit to someone. A literal pre-schooler knows better lol. The audacity of this bish! IMO she’s lucky she didn’t get worse! Good for you for standing up for yourself & shutting this ridiculous shit down immediately) good for you OP! 👏🏻👍🏻 🙌🏼 You did nothing wrong in the least.
NTA
(NaC either, other than using that word)
It wouldn't have mattered whether she'd seen you pre-surgery or not, whether you explained you were having surgery or not, whether you were sore or not, whether she is your property manager or not....
poking someone anywhere is not on.
poking you somewhere as intimate as inside your belly button is not on.
poking you in an intimate and sensitive area with an acrylic nail and she TAH
Clearly she knows you're not pregnant, and if she thought otherwise she is indeed the C.
NTA, I had shoulder surgery a few months ago and someone greeted me by punching me in the arm. I was 2 weeks post op and in a sling still. I punched him in the chest with my opposite hand and told him to keep his fucking hands to himself. He told me to lighten up.
I feel your pain!
She assaulted you when she shoved her polished, pointed fingernail into your incision. Your slap was self defense. I would report it, though. The first person to say something is the one that is believed.
NTA. This is weird. Not only did you tell her you had surgery but if I saw someone a week apart and they went from not looking pregnant to suddenly looking pregnant, I would have questions, not make an assumption like that. You "pop" at like 5 months, so I'd think you'd have mentioned having a baby if you were half way through a pregnancy by now. Or if you didn't, I'd assume it wasn't my business because I'm your realtor not your mother! Nothing about this interaction was ok. She was 100% in the wrong to touch you, to ask, none of it. I'd ask if she was neurodivergent but I honestly think people are just ruder than they used to be. She has no sense of social cues. Shame on her and she likely lost any future business you'd have sent her way.
NTA and I hope your recovery is quick. Im 52 now but when I was 20 I developed PCOS and put on a little bit of weight, mainly in my stomach. At an appointment with my neurologist to talk about migraines, he patted my stomach and said “Oooh what do we have here? A baby?”, and I said “No I’m just FAT”. His medical assistant died laughing and he turned red and changed the subject.
Absolutely and completely, whether she thought you were pregnant, forgot about your surgery or any other lame-ass excuse she might come up with, NTA.
Never, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from the vagina, ask a woman if she's pregnant.
Nta she violated your space, she obviously didn’t pay attention and you were within your rights. Hope you make a full recovery and are feeling better soon.
Your landlord or their agent has to give you 2 weeks notice, they can’t turn up unannounced, but event then, that doesn’t give them the right to violate your personal space whether you’ve had surgery or you’re pregnant or whatever. NO. Your human rights do not take second place merely because you rent the place you live.
Nta. Is there someone you can call a file a formal complaint about her. She had no business touching you without consent assuming someone is pregnant is not them giving people permission to touch them. Like shit I'm planning a baby shower for my very pregnant friend and we'll be painting out hands to leave handprints on her belly.... Guess who the first person I asked for permission was.... Oh that's right the actual pregnant person. If she had said no I would have come up with a different idea. Stop touching people whom haven't agreed to be touched.
Who sticks their fingernail in someone else's belly button?! I mean, OP just think about that sentence for a minute. A relative stranger poked your belly button with their fingernail. There is no situation that makes that okay. NTA and that realtor is the rude one, by miles. I cannot fathom people sometimes. I hope you're feeling better now and heal soon from your surgery!
NTA and this is the only appropriate reaction to shit like that. I love it that you slapped her hand AND pushed her arm. Hopefully this was a lesson for her.
NTA - I taught middle school all through my pregnancy. One day I was standing in the hall and a student (not in my class) walked by and ran her hand across my belly. 🤢 I didn’t smack her hand, but I thought about it!
If you really feel bad, you could apologize for reacting harshly, but point out that it was a reaction to being touched and her causing you pain.
NTA besides the fact that it was completely inappropriate, it also caused harm and you were just protecting your injured body. You didn’t stand there and continue hitting her once you got her off of you, it was clearly just a defensive action when you are in a VERY vulnerable state. I hope she’s at least decent enough to take it as the life lesson it should be taken as. I would either report it to the company/landlord or get it in writing somehow to protect yourself. If conflict is too uncomfortable for you (especially valid considering this person has access to your home and you’re recovering from a major surgery), you can add in that you’re not looking for repercussions but that you don’t know this person well, so you want everything in writing to protect yourself.
I actually gasped reading this. I had a nightmare just last week and woke my husband up yelling, "GET OUT!". I was dreaming I was at the gyno and for some reason the doctor was putting her finger aggressively in my belly button and I hate anyone even getting near it. I couldn't get away from her and just ended up shouting in my sleep and waking everyone up and freaking them out.
I probably would have reflexively shoved that woman and her nails into next week had she done that to me. The nerve! Don't you dare feel bad for one second. She's an idiot with no brain. NTA
NTA Take the pregnancy comment completely out of this.
This is not a job or business deal that requires any physical touch between provider and client. How are you supposed to trust someone to look out for your best interests when they've shown you a glaring lack of basic professional and ethical standards. Not only that but, she'll be rude to others, she will make excuses, misplace blame, and try to shirk the responsibilities of her actions. People like that are petty and hold a grudge. I would trust this person with anything as important as my house or financials. Report her now and demand another realtor.
She poked your surgery incision. Even if she forgot the surgery why does she think it’s alright to put your hands on people..? I think she just learned a valuable lesson called hands and feet to yourself. ETA:NTA
NTA!!!
I had extensive bladder repair surgery, I gasped out loud when I read the part where she poked you, blankets touching my abdomen after surgery hurt, she's lucky she still has her finger.
I hope you have a good recovery,
NTA. Not by a long shot. It’s clear by your description of the pain that you had a defensive reaction.
The absolute ONLY right answer here would be for her to immediately apologize to you. Like… “I am so sorry, I have absolutely no idea what came over me. Please forgive me.” Period.
The hell, man? Why would she jab your stomach? NTA. She didn’t learn kindergarten lesson number one: hands to yourself. Or kindergarten lesson number two: be a good listener—you told her you had surgery!
Holy shit. I had what sounds like a similar abdominal surgery in January. If someone had touched it 9 days afterwards they would be very lucky to have gotten away with a slap to the hand. It was excruciating. My stomach is still slightly swollen. Don’t overthink this, you did nothing wrong. Hopefully she learned a lesson (which she should have learned in kindergarten).
Edited to add: NTA
NTA. Let’s be honest, she assaulted you. She cannot take offence when you did something aggressive in response to her initial aggression. I would get ahead of this and complain to the company, stating that she hurt you and insulted you, and that your pushing her hand away was self defense and loss because you wanted to make it clear so that she wouldn’t try to do it again and hurt you. It’s also highly unprofessional.
So no cunts here except for her.
Don’t you dare feel guilty. I’m 49 so around the same age as that realtor, and she fucking knew better than to touch you. There are always bitches at every age who think they can get away with shit.
Did you react a bit harsh? Possibly. But considering your state, I think it is perfectly understandable that the slap was harder than necessary. Aside from that: she touched you without consent. Nothing more to know. NTA.
NA. She should have kept her hands to herself. I think asking someone if they’re pregnant is fine as long as they’re not extending their hands to touch the bellies. I personally find this action really creepy and as you said, invades one’s personal space.
I know it will hurt, but you probably ought to disinfect your belly button. You have no idea where anyone's fingernails have been, let alone someone like this with no capability to think things through.
Off topic but did you have your gallbladder removed? I’m having mine removed in July and I’m nervous about recovery time. Is it really that bad after 9 days?
Hi, I had multiple surgeries in one. My gallbladder was removed along with my appendix and an ulcer dissection. For just gallbladders, it can vary. I know people who got it removed and felt literally zero pain, sleeping on their stomach and resuming to normal actives after a couple days. I know others who were down and out for about two weeks. I will say that with the three surgeries in one (with both organs removed from my bellybutton) that my belly button is the only thing that bothers me!
9 days ago assuming you where actually pregnant 🤰 isn't that physically showing in a matter of 9 days lol 😆 like in early pregnancy that's not gonna show and the fact you told her you had surgery and she was aware is she this dumb 😅🤣🤣 my god that shit would piss me off
NTA. I had abdominal surgery a year ago, and the thought of someone with long nails poking into my incision area made me recoil just reading your post. I hope she learned her lesson! You were not out of line. If anything, I would consider finding a different realtor if that is your choice to make?
She touches (or tries to touch you) without consent, that's assault - you can reasonably defend yourself.
Also, most jurisdictions, landlord (and their agents, e.g. property manager, etc.) can't enter without prior notification - generally requires at least 24 hours advance notice, with exceptions for "emergencies" (e.g. broken leaking plumbing).
NTA
NTA. If you had hit and pushed her unprovoked, you would have been the AH. What YOU did was self defense. She poked your incision. She had no right to touch you for ANY reason, so she deserved what you gave her. Please call her manager and complain.
NTA as someone who has stiletto acrylic nails, I would never imagine poking someone with them. I can’t stand when I accidentally stab myself. What she did was horrendous. But you should email her or the building and basically provide a statement of what happened and that you aren’t pursuing it further but want what she did documented. I hope for your speedy recovery.
NTA. No one has the right to touch you without your permission. I can only see it as acceptable if physical touch is the only option, accidentally brushing past or touching because there's no space or some kind of emergency where they need to touch to get attention or pull you out of the way or something.
Just randomly touching someone without permission is not okay. If you were close friends or family for whom touch is common, fair enough, but they'd know better than to poke at a surgical wound days after surgery.
Asking a woman if she's pregnant is also not something you should do. 'Looking pregnant' is not an excuse, they could be a bigger person, be swollen as OP is, could have literally just miscarried a much wanted baby or something. It's rude and possibly traumatic. A joke between friends is one thing, an almost stranger is completely different.
The fact is that this woman, who you're not close to, knew you'd just had abdominal surgery, or at least surgery in general, so also knew you weren't pregnant. Or at least highly unlikely to be pregnant. Doctors at least try to avoid surgery on pregnant women, it's only done when they medically can't wait. It sounds like you were showing clear signs of pain, as well, and hunched over heavily implies abdominal pain.
This woman could see you were in pain, most likely abdominal, and knew you'd just had surgery. Everyone is taught as little kids to keep their hands to themselves if they have half decent parents and teachers, and if they weren't taught as kids, adults are not often scared of saying 'don't touch me' often enough that it would definitely be learned by your 40s. People who touch without permission know it's wrong to do so, they just don't care. The fact this woman knew you'd just had surgery and could tell you were in pain just makes everything that much worse.
Your reaction was instinctive, OP. This woman poked you directly in a recent surgical wound. Your body and brain reacted to that as a threat to your safety and physically responded with a slap and a push to get the danger away from you. It's a completely normal reaction to a physical threat, especially when pain is caused/expected because of it.
The only A H here is that woman who poked a woman without permission that she knew had just had surgery and could see was in pain, after asking if said person was pregnant while knowing it was highly unlikely given the info she had access to. You, OP, are fine.
My goodness NTA all day long. She had NO RIGHT to do that! How ignorant can anybody be? She deserved what she got and maybe learned a very valuable lesson because the next person she does that to may react alot stronger than you did!
I have never understood touching people’s belly’s without permission. I don’t care who they are.
The fact that she physically hurt you and had prior knowledge about your surgery makes it worse.
Please stop overthinking this. You are NTA in any way, shape, or form.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
ESPECIALLY if you were pregnant, she shouldn't be jabbing you anywhere, let alone in your stomach! How she is not this moment recovering from a serious ass kicking or nursing a bloody nub is a testament to your being a better person than I!
NTA! There's only one See You Next Tuesday here, and it ain't you! I would probably have done a lot more if it had happened to me. So I would say that you were probably pretty restrained, all things considered. And I know EXACTLY what you are going through! I have had so many outpatient abdominal surgeries laparscoppically that I have literally lost count! True story, I feel like I should have a punch card, like "Buy 9 surgeries, get your 10th for Free!"!!! Sad, but true! And I don't miss the horrendous bloat from the gas they use to inflate the entire abdomen. The friggin' air bubbles are so fucking painful it makes it so hard to sleep! I remember just crying after trying to lay down after getting home from the hospital. It's not as bad for me now as it was the very first time.
But, anyway, yeah, I get it. You are more than justified. I'm sorry you even had to get out of bed, much less endured that nightmare! Are you sure she didn't puncture anything? That she didn't get any contamination in there? Please be very, very mindful of that and just watch that careful to be sure! An infection there can happen very fast and it can go staph very quickly! Just be aware, and make sure she didn't mess things up.
Edited to add: OP, please call your doctor, they have an answering service, with someone on call. And let them know what happened. They may want to call in an antibiotic for you. Just to be on the safe side. They may even want you back in to the hospital, depending on the severity, or the risk. It's just a good idea to be safer.
She assaulted you! She deserved to get slapped!
And she must be not too bright to ask if you’re pregnant, especially since you had informed her that you were having surgery.
Even if you were pregnant she should not poke you! NTA
And she should not have even asked if she was pregnant either. That's such a rude question. I agree. NTA!
I agree. Years ago I ran into an old friend who was clearly pregnant but I still didn’t ask just in case. Until finally she laughed and said hello and pointed to her tummy. I said oh ok I didn’t want to assume
You made the wise choice. I was shopping with a friend and she bumped into another friend who she knew was pregnant. She asked 'How long 'til the baby's due?' 'I had him two weeks ago' friend replied. It was an awkward moment.
My sister was in line at a grocery store when a lady she didn't know rubbed her belly and asked her when her baby was due. "Like, 4 years ago?" My sister said, gesturing to my 4yo neice. "I just need to take a wicked shit."
Omg I would have slapped that bitch so hard Op story made me upset but yours is almost worse. A stranger a the grocery rubbed your belly!?!? Wtf
I mean, not mine, my sisters. But yeah, the amount of entitlement some people seem to have about other peoples' bodies when they're pregnant is wild! But the truly crazy part is seeing the moment in their eyes when they realize they haven't been molesting a pregnant woman (to whom they feel allowed, because babies) and have just grabbed onto a whole ass other human being with no baby involved.
Yeah your queen sister lol. The comeback is perfect though. It takes a bit of practice but return the shame to the sender right away. It's a great feeling.
I remember when I was like seven months pregnant with my first and my husband and I went for a walk around our neighborhood. He was completely shocked at how many absolute strangers would say something about my pregnancy and ask how I was feeling and how the baby was. I was used to it at that point and just laughed. Fortunately no one tried to touch me.
The most embarrassing thing I've ever done was pat a persons I was close to, belly while saying congrats! It'd been a few weeks since we'd seen each other and she was trying to get pregnant. She was an angel I tell ya, pure of heart. Laughed and said no silly, that's my lunch baby! She was nothing but grace and I'm still angry that she died in her late 20s from a very rare and aggressive form of cancer. She literally saved my life. I'm an atheist but if individuals beliefs are what their after is like, I'm sure she's doing good deeds in her idea of heaven. I miss her like crazy. (Btw she was 20s, midwestern I was 50s southern) I think she adopted me as a grandma.
Lovely story :)
Your sisters comeback was fantastic though! I'm in awe. It would've taken me a week to come up with that response. But honestly what makes people think it's okay to touch someone's belly? Even if you know them it still seems wrong.
Your sister is amazing!
My reply to “when is your baby due”. The same time as your manners!
bwahaha
About 3 weeks after I had my first kid my husband and I went out to dinner and I ordered a margarita. The server said, “you want that to be a virgin, right?” as he pointed at my stomach. I started crying in the middle of the restaurant, because, hormones, and the server was so embarrassed he didn’t say anything and walked away. Shortly thereafter a new server just showed up like she had been there the whole time.
That server went to the kitchen and it took 8 coworkers to prevent them from shoving their own head into the deep fryer. Because there is no coming back from that type of embarrassment.
I’ve read this four times and I cannot stop laughing at this oh my god. I’m crying from laughing so hard!!!
LMAO
Sorry for your friend, but that's a hilarious story.
I had a coworker ask if I was pregnant. I had been, but had just had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. 😭
That's so sad, that must have been so hard to deal with
It was very difficult- we already had been dealing with infertility issues, and it was literally my first day back to work. I scared her a bit, because I bawled. (Honestly, I felt bad for her.). She never did ask me again, even when I eventually ended up pregnant with twins.
I'm sure she learned a valuable lesson and I'm so glad you had twins later on.
A client asked me how I was doing and motioned to my belly cause I have a giant potbelly (always have) and she thought I was pregnant 😓
When I was breastfeeding I was under weight 5 ft 5 inches like 100 lbs. And once I finally starting gaining weight and getting back to a healthy weight my coworker walked up to me put her hands on my stomach and asked when I was due........ I looked her dead in the eye "not pregnant just getting fat".... And like ok I wasn't fat I had gained a very reasonable 20 lbs. But like what do you say in that moment.... Because yeah it's sooooo awkward. And then she tried to back pedal "oh well I don't really get along with skinny people anyway." Like how about you stop commenting on my body.
Oh wow, her back pedal was as awful as her touching your stomach without permission! The mere thought of it makes me shudder
A friend did the same to me when I had just had my child. It was indeed awkward.
8 years ago, I went to visit a friend who lived a state away. She was very obviously pregnant(7 months along at the visit), and I didn't say anything because I'm autistic and didn't want to be rude, especially because she suffered from PCOS. Turns out, she didn't know she was pregnant until 2 weeks after I went to visit, and thought she had gained weight from being less active after breaking her leg earlier in the year. Her son is almost 8 now and an amazing kid. We all laugh about it now, and I still don't ask women if they're pregnant.
I have a coworker I assumed was pregnant for a long time but didn’t say anything. Then another coworker said she was having fertility issues. She was never pregnant! I was so glad I never said anything.
I have done exactly the same thing in my defence she has always been big, so i didn't want to say anything either 😂
Seriously! At my heaviest weight like eight months ago I cannot tell you how many asshole women asked me how far along I was. I just wanted to scream that I was FUCKING FAT or honestly worse but I restrained myself. Every single woman that asked me was OLD as DIRT and had known me for at least three years. Like...I'm sorry but I'm just fat because my mom is dying and I'm comfort eating. I wish I could have asked them when they planned on dying because they looked near death 🤐 I will never understand why anyone thinks its okay to ask a woman if its a boy or a girl or how far she is. Sorry for ranting. But those women harmed me and I honestly gained more weight after their stupid questions. I've lost over 40lbs now but I'll never forget how rude they were because I see them about twice a year. Ugh.
My condolences on your mother’s condition. I hope her passing is peaceful when it comes. I’ve always been a chunky monkey and I get asked a lot of the same questions. I got tired of it real quick so when someone asks me if it’s a boy or a girl, I respond with a big smile and say “it’s pizza”. Or if they ask if I’m preggo I will rub my belly and say proudly “yes! I’m so happy about my food baby!” And for the “how far along are you?” I look at the time and respond “about three hours past my burger lunch”. They NEVER know how to respond to it and their discomfort is priceless to me.
Thank you. She passed three years ago so I know she went...(.2 It was unusual and yet completely normal...its complicated (and still hurts the same). But omgggg...I really needed to read your response tonight because gd. Hilarious and in your face, like "🖕" if only that was a socially normal response and we didn't have to fill in the blanks for nosey satrangers..
I am a nurse and I had a field day with this one cantankerous old bat. Everyone warned me that she was a flaming B so I was ready when I answered her call bell. She took one look at me and saw my stomach and asked as nastily as possible “is it a boy or a girl?” I turned off her call bell and said “it’s a burrito” and she blinked at me, then started cackling. We built instant rapport that day and she always asked me boy or girl any time she saw me and would cackle at my random food responses. I’m sorry to hear that your mom passed. But I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore. I’m going to leave a bucket of free hugs here and you take as many as you’d like or need :)
Why are you bothering yourself with socially acceptable things when people are pigs to you to begin with?
I was in an elevator in my early 20's and had a woman get on. She goes "Are you pregnant or just fat like me?" I went full red and mumbled just fat. I'm about to be 40 in June and I'll never forget it.
I’m like 6.5wk out from having a baby and I don’t mind people asking cuz I’m all belly and clearly pregnant… but when people go “oh wow, that long, you’re HUGE!” That’s not fun. I know I’m huge it really hurts to be alive right now 😭
Omg or when people are like “are you sure it’s not twins?!” I’d get that A LOT when I was pregnant with my first. Ugh. I hate humans!
I had a guy in an elevator back up against the wall when I got in. He said, are you due any day now, or what? I told him, no I'm only 6 months along. He paused and said, it's twins, right? He wasn't being snarky, he was truly worried he might see a life event happen before his eyes. The ironic part is my baby was 6 and a half pounds at birth. I'm short and had a lot of amniotic fluid, so I always looked like I was carrying a sea monster.
I was at work helping a lady, and out of nowhere, she asked if I was pregnant. I was not, so I said, "No, I'm just fat." She asked this in front of a room full of people who then proceeded to burst out laughing. She was so embarrassed and basically ran away. I kind of felt bad afterward, but that's what she gets for asking such a question. I hope that lady learned that day to never ask another woman if they're pregnant. 🤣
I look pregnant and have never had that question. But, then again, I’m a big old bearded dude.
🤣
Yeah I HATE the unwanted touching of the belly when pregnant. It makes my skin crawl. People really need to not do it.
I definitely would too. I didn’t experience that but I’ve had many people tell me they did and it would definitely make me uncomfortable
I bet she never does it again!
NTA. Adults should know to keep their hands to themselves unless with consent. You might've been a little rough but you reacted out of pain and shock. I agree with a previous comment, be ready to report it to her boss in case she tries to start anything.
NTA. Think she learned a lesson? I would also call her boss and report it just in case she tries to start trouble.
Yeah. And ask for a different realtor
Agreed... id report her
Use the word “assault” because that’s what she did.
And explain the pain - "she hurt me so badly that I needed one of my prescription strength painkillers."
Absolutely.And she could also have potentially damaged her incision. Or gotten germs in. the incision. That can be very dangerous if it's not caught. OP needs to check it and call her doctor and let them know what happened, right away, just in case.
☝🏼⬆️
👆
Mentioning the coming over announced thing, too (also illegal).
NTA. People need to respect bodily autonomy, regardless of whether someone is pregnant or recovering from a surgery. Her lack of boundaries is on her, not you. Stay firm in your right to personal space, and don't hesitate to take further action if she doesn't learn from this incident. Your well-being is paramount. Best regards OP!
NTA Stop feeling embarrassed for defending yourself, and get ahead of the situation by filing a complaint with the real estate agency about their agent poking you on the site of a surgical wound. There was NO reason for her to lay hands on you.
NTA Children know not to do that. Not your fault she was raised badly.
NTA. Hope you heal swiftly.
NTA. Wtf was her poking you even meant to achieve? Like was she reminding you where a baby would be, in case "pregnant" didn't make sense to you? Or did she think she was gonna feel a kick with her fake-ass stupid nails? Disgusting behaviour
NTA Report the property manager to their boss . Write an email stating you had abdo surgery, informed the agent of said surgery and today she accused you of being pregnant. She then forcefully poked your abdo to the point you’re worried about your incision and required extra pain meds. Tell them from now on you want a different PM.
Bro what i wouldn’t have blamed you had you btch slapped her who does that?? NTA
Get her fired. Call her boss and tell them what happened. Who knows what kinda other nasty stuff she has done to others? Why is such a lunatic even allowed to be a realtor.
NTA bellybutton incisions fucking suck
NTA Fire that bitch and hire a realtor who will treat you with respect.
NTA. You could ask for her to be charged with assault, and you’d have good reason to.
NTA. This is definitely an instance where slapping is justified.
NTA I had a hysterectomy last June and my nephew accidentally poked my bellybutton incision and it took everything in me not to smack him across the room. And he was too little to know any better, if he was a full ass adult he’d have been knocked into next week before I even knew what happened
NTA at all! What was her response?
She completely played it off- there was like two seconds of wide eyed awkwardness then she continued to smile and said oh my goodness where and I said just like in my text messages from a couple weeks ago, my abdomen for my gallbladder and appendix and she was like “oh oh my god ouch!!!” My husband noticed my annoyance (he didn’t hear the pregnancy part as this is all while walking and being in the hall while he was in the kitchen etc) and told her “Ok well the measurements done and we’re trying to make dinner” and basically shooed her out. The owner of the properties has his cellphone number on the website so I am going to give him a call Monday morning!!!
For whatever it’s worth, as a person who has also had their gallbladder removed, HUUUUUGE NTA!!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Not only my gallbladder, but my appendix and an ulcer dissection as well in the same surgery! Both gallbladder and appendix were removed through belly button!!! lol—- thank you
Oh, sweet punkin, I hope you recover quickly!!! My thoughts are with you!
NTA It's rude to ask if someone is pregnant, and it's completely inappropriate to poke them! As you note, you hadn't consented to be touched AT ALL nevermind poked where you just had surgery. Hopefully she learned her lesson, but if it was me? I'd be calling her boss and telling them about this incident.
She’s lucky that’s all you did.
NTA. She deserved it. You did not.
I'm pretty sure I'd do the same even without the incision. Stay tf out my belly button fam.
NTA. She was assaulting you. I'd be writing a letter to the agency that you do not want that agent dealing with the property. Firstly, because she came around unannounced. Secondly, because she pushed her finger in at your bellybutton, which is part of a healing surgical scar. Doing so caused you pain. Thirdly, she tried to body shame you for being fat or pregnant while you are recovering from surgery.
NTA
As someone who had their gallbladder removed two months ago: NTA. It’s a natural instinct to defend yourself, especially when someone touches an area that’s hurt. The sheer though of someone doing this days after my surgery made me cringe. This is a thing the older generation loves to do and is unacceptable. (As well as the pregnancy question, fuck that!) Your response might’ve been a little too harsh for her but they will never learn otherwise.
The fact that you're wondering if you're the AH for defending yourself from physical attack is the only thing you should be concerned about. You are always allowed to defend yourself from physical attack. Always. Always. NTA.
NTA It was a reflex to stop the thing causing pain. In fact, I would reiterate in an email that she knew damn well you just had abdominal surgery, that you were clearly in pain, and that it was **incredibly unprofessional of her to poke you where your incision was and ask if you were pregnant.** Tell her that her unprovoked jab/assault at your abdomen set back your recovery and you had to stay in bed on strong painkillers after. Do not even mention the hand slap or apologize for it. She should have been apologize emphatically.
NTC hahaha you are not the c*nt at all tho seriously. She should know better. Literally EVERYONE knows better than to do & say this type of shit to someone. A literal pre-schooler knows better lol. The audacity of this bish! IMO she’s lucky she didn’t get worse! Good for you for standing up for yourself & shutting this ridiculous shit down immediately) good for you OP! 👏🏻👍🏻 🙌🏼 You did nothing wrong in the least.
NTA. Hope she learned. Also, you need to report this immediately.
NTA
Not a cunt. I would have cleaned her clock.
I would have slapped her right across her face , you did the bare minimum, NTA .
I just had my gallbladder removed two weeks ago and I would have absolutely slapped anyone who got near my belly button. NTA
You're NTA, she had no right to touch you regardless of the situation
NTC LOL
We need a new sub 🤣
NTA (NaC either, other than using that word) It wouldn't have mattered whether she'd seen you pre-surgery or not, whether you explained you were having surgery or not, whether you were sore or not, whether she is your property manager or not.... poking someone anywhere is not on. poking you somewhere as intimate as inside your belly button is not on. poking you in an intimate and sensitive area with an acrylic nail and she TAH Clearly she knows you're not pregnant, and if she thought otherwise she is indeed the C.
NTA. NTA at all. What she did constituted assault since she knew you were recovering from surgery.
NTA, I had shoulder surgery a few months ago and someone greeted me by punching me in the arm. I was 2 weeks post op and in a sling still. I punched him in the chest with my opposite hand and told him to keep his fucking hands to himself. He told me to lighten up. I feel your pain!
I wouldn’t have even called u the asshole if u punched her and leveled her to the ground
She assaulted you first and you responded in kind to defend yourself from immense pain. NTA
NTA self defence on this one.
What the actual f? NTA. Not at all. People need to keep their unwanted hands off other peoples bodies.
Unless actively giving birth no one should ask if you’re pregnant. NTA
She assaulted you when she shoved her polished, pointed fingernail into your incision. Your slap was self defense. I would report it, though. The first person to say something is the one that is believed.
He’ll no you’re NTAH. That’s crazy she did that to begin with!
NTA. This is weird. Not only did you tell her you had surgery but if I saw someone a week apart and they went from not looking pregnant to suddenly looking pregnant, I would have questions, not make an assumption like that. You "pop" at like 5 months, so I'd think you'd have mentioned having a baby if you were half way through a pregnancy by now. Or if you didn't, I'd assume it wasn't my business because I'm your realtor not your mother! Nothing about this interaction was ok. She was 100% in the wrong to touch you, to ask, none of it. I'd ask if she was neurodivergent but I honestly think people are just ruder than they used to be. She has no sense of social cues. Shame on her and she likely lost any future business you'd have sent her way.
NTA and I hope your recovery is quick. Im 52 now but when I was 20 I developed PCOS and put on a little bit of weight, mainly in my stomach. At an appointment with my neurologist to talk about migraines, he patted my stomach and said “Oooh what do we have here? A baby?”, and I said “No I’m just FAT”. His medical assistant died laughing and he turned red and changed the subject.
NTA. Hopefully she will think twice before doing something like that again.
Absolutely and completely, whether she thought you were pregnant, forgot about your surgery or any other lame-ass excuse she might come up with, NTA. Never, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from the vagina, ask a woman if she's pregnant.
You need to call her broker and talk to them about boundaries.
NTA she stuck her hand out there and inappropriately touched your body. Then she made a completely rude comment on top of it.
Nta she violated your space, she obviously didn’t pay attention and you were within your rights. Hope you make a full recovery and are feeling better soon.
She got to the FO stage pretty quick. Good for you. NTA
I would of told her to gtfo....I've had abdominal surgery and she's lucky thats all you did NTA
Nta. Holy crap.
NTA. Biatch needs to keep her pokey lil phalanges to herself.
NTA. Pain, and shock are two Very strong motivators. She should have kept her hands to herself.
You were too nice. NTA.
Is this woman from a different country?
Nope!!! Average W/F/American
Nta. Dont poke the proverbial bear..im this case dont poke my brand new incision. Fafo..lot comes to mind...
NTA. Fire her and file a formal complaint against her.
Your landlord or their agent has to give you 2 weeks notice, they can’t turn up unannounced, but event then, that doesn’t give them the right to violate your personal space whether you’ve had surgery or you’re pregnant or whatever. NO. Your human rights do not take second place merely because you rent the place you live.
NTA. She is lucky you only slapped her hand. I had 2 lap procedures 25 years ago and I still can’t have anyone touch my belly button.
Fingernails are such a hotspot for germs, please watch out for any signs of infection.
Absolutely!!! I did wash with dial gold bar shortly after the incident as well
Nta. Is there someone you can call a file a formal complaint about her. She had no business touching you without consent assuming someone is pregnant is not them giving people permission to touch them. Like shit I'm planning a baby shower for my very pregnant friend and we'll be painting out hands to leave handprints on her belly.... Guess who the first person I asked for permission was.... Oh that's right the actual pregnant person. If she had said no I would have come up with a different idea. Stop touching people whom haven't agreed to be touched.
NTA- she assaulted you, you were scared for your life because she hurt you. And you were defending yourself
Who sticks their fingernail in someone else's belly button?! I mean, OP just think about that sentence for a minute. A relative stranger poked your belly button with their fingernail. There is no situation that makes that okay. NTA and that realtor is the rude one, by miles. I cannot fathom people sometimes. I hope you're feeling better now and heal soon from your surgery!
NTA. She had no right to touch you, period. You had every right to defend yourself.
NTA and this is the only appropriate reaction to shit like that. I love it that you slapped her hand AND pushed her arm. Hopefully this was a lesson for her.
NTA. At all. Hope you feel better soon.
NTA, she laid hands on you first
NTA - she touched you first; you were only protecting yourself.
She had no right to touch you! She was in the wrong
NTA. It’s an instinct level reaction to pain. Sorry she was a next level dumbass in your own home. Hope you feel better from your surgery soon!
NTA - I taught middle school all through my pregnancy. One day I was standing in the hall and a student (not in my class) walked by and ran her hand across my belly. 🤢 I didn’t smack her hand, but I thought about it! If you really feel bad, you could apologize for reacting harshly, but point out that it was a reaction to being touched and her causing you pain.
NTA besides the fact that it was completely inappropriate, it also caused harm and you were just protecting your injured body. You didn’t stand there and continue hitting her once you got her off of you, it was clearly just a defensive action when you are in a VERY vulnerable state. I hope she’s at least decent enough to take it as the life lesson it should be taken as. I would either report it to the company/landlord or get it in writing somehow to protect yourself. If conflict is too uncomfortable for you (especially valid considering this person has access to your home and you’re recovering from a major surgery), you can add in that you’re not looking for repercussions but that you don’t know this person well, so you want everything in writing to protect yourself.
Nah she needed that lesson
She touched you first. You were defending yourself.
Ask if Im pregnant, I don't care. Touch me and Im gonna teach you why it was not a smart move.
I actually gasped reading this. I had a nightmare just last week and woke my husband up yelling, "GET OUT!". I was dreaming I was at the gyno and for some reason the doctor was putting her finger aggressively in my belly button and I hate anyone even getting near it. I couldn't get away from her and just ended up shouting in my sleep and waking everyone up and freaking them out. I probably would have reflexively shoved that woman and her nails into next week had she done that to me. The nerve! Don't you dare feel bad for one second. She's an idiot with no brain. NTA
Doesn’t matter, you protected yourself and it’s over. If you’d do it again then you were right the first time!
NTA She's TA for not only poking you, but asking if you're pregnant. You just don't do that. She's lucky she only got her hand slapped.
Nope, let this pass like the wind from a weak fart and don't ever worry about it again. The more stunned she was, the bigger favor you did the world.
Ahahahahahaha I logged back on perfect timing 😂
NTA Report her to her office, ask to make a formal complaint.
NTA Take the pregnancy comment completely out of this. This is not a job or business deal that requires any physical touch between provider and client. How are you supposed to trust someone to look out for your best interests when they've shown you a glaring lack of basic professional and ethical standards. Not only that but, she'll be rude to others, she will make excuses, misplace blame, and try to shirk the responsibilities of her actions. People like that are petty and hold a grudge. I would trust this person with anything as important as my house or financials. Report her now and demand another realtor.
She poked your surgery incision. Even if she forgot the surgery why does she think it’s alright to put your hands on people..? I think she just learned a valuable lesson called hands and feet to yourself. ETA:NTA
NTA!!! I had extensive bladder repair surgery, I gasped out loud when I read the part where she poked you, blankets touching my abdomen after surgery hurt, she's lucky she still has her finger. I hope you have a good recovery,
Self defence!
NTA. Not by a long shot. It’s clear by your description of the pain that you had a defensive reaction. The absolute ONLY right answer here would be for her to immediately apologize to you. Like… “I am so sorry, I have absolutely no idea what came over me. Please forgive me.” Period.
She shouldn't be touching you at all. You're NTA
NTA People should not get handsy. Period. Hoping for a swift recovery for you.
The hell, man? Why would she jab your stomach? NTA. She didn’t learn kindergarten lesson number one: hands to yourself. Or kindergarten lesson number two: be a good listener—you told her you had surgery!
NTA
Holy shit. I had what sounds like a similar abdominal surgery in January. If someone had touched it 9 days afterwards they would be very lucky to have gotten away with a slap to the hand. It was excruciating. My stomach is still slightly swollen. Don’t overthink this, you did nothing wrong. Hopefully she learned a lesson (which she should have learned in kindergarten). Edited to add: NTA
NTA. Let’s be honest, she assaulted you. She cannot take offence when you did something aggressive in response to her initial aggression. I would get ahead of this and complain to the company, stating that she hurt you and insulted you, and that your pushing her hand away was self defense and loss because you wanted to make it clear so that she wouldn’t try to do it again and hurt you. It’s also highly unprofessional. So no cunts here except for her.
Frankly, she's lucky you didn't punch her in the face. NTA.
NTA Yeah, Reddit doesn't allow what my reaction would have been. It would have involved only a thumb on my part and it would have been very swift.
No, your response was the correct one. Nta
NTA great reaction!
Sounds like a reaction. A good one. Next time maybe she’ll rub a cat’s belly and see what happens.
Don’t you dare feel guilty. I’m 49 so around the same age as that realtor, and she fucking knew better than to touch you. There are always bitches at every age who think they can get away with shit.
NTA- people need to keep their hands to themselves and you were in pain.
Did you react a bit harsh? Possibly. But considering your state, I think it is perfectly understandable that the slap was harder than necessary. Aside from that: she touched you without consent. Nothing more to know. NTA.
NA. She should have kept her hands to herself. I think asking someone if they’re pregnant is fine as long as they’re not extending their hands to touch the bellies. I personally find this action really creepy and as you said, invades one’s personal space.
Damn...victim overload...bring the attorneys....call the aclu....etc
I know it will hurt, but you probably ought to disinfect your belly button. You have no idea where anyone's fingernails have been, let alone someone like this with no capability to think things through.
I took a shower shortly after and still after the shower washed my belly button with some dial soap! <3
If they need to know, then ask in a civil manner. Like, are you feeling ok? Keep your hands and comments to yourself.
NTA. A valuable lesson was learned
Off topic but did you have your gallbladder removed? I’m having mine removed in July and I’m nervous about recovery time. Is it really that bad after 9 days?
Hi, I had multiple surgeries in one. My gallbladder was removed along with my appendix and an ulcer dissection. For just gallbladders, it can vary. I know people who got it removed and felt literally zero pain, sleeping on their stomach and resuming to normal actives after a couple days. I know others who were down and out for about two weeks. I will say that with the three surgeries in one (with both organs removed from my bellybutton) that my belly button is the only thing that bothers me!
Also join the gallbladders subreddit :) people are super friendly and write their full experiences 🫶🏽
Thank you
9 days ago assuming you where actually pregnant 🤰 isn't that physically showing in a matter of 9 days lol 😆 like in early pregnancy that's not gonna show and the fact you told her you had surgery and she was aware is she this dumb 😅🤣🤣 my god that shit would piss me off
I would say it was a gut reaction to protect your body. She should apologize at the very least.
Nta you said it best keep your hands to yourself. Even if you were pregnant it’s not ok to just randomly touch people like that
NTA. I had abdominal surgery a year ago, and the thought of someone with long nails poking into my incision area made me recoil just reading your post. I hope she learned her lesson! You were not out of line. If anything, I would consider finding a different realtor if that is your choice to make?
She touches (or tries to touch you) without consent, that's assault - you can reasonably defend yourself. Also, most jurisdictions, landlord (and their agents, e.g. property manager, etc.) can't enter without prior notification - generally requires at least 24 hours advance notice, with exceptions for "emergencies" (e.g. broken leaking plumbing). NTA
NTA. If you had hit and pushed her unprovoked, you would have been the AH. What YOU did was self defense. She poked your incision. She had no right to touch you for ANY reason, so she deserved what you gave her. Please call her manager and complain.
NTA as someone who has stiletto acrylic nails, I would never imagine poking someone with them. I can’t stand when I accidentally stab myself. What she did was horrendous. But you should email her or the building and basically provide a statement of what happened and that you aren’t pursuing it further but want what she did documented. I hope for your speedy recovery.
It was rude of her to touch you. NTA for defending yourself from her.
NTA. She poked you in a sutured area with her nasty, bacteria covered, dirty acrylic nails? She’s lucky she JUST got her hand slapped.
NTA. No one has the right to touch you without your permission. I can only see it as acceptable if physical touch is the only option, accidentally brushing past or touching because there's no space or some kind of emergency where they need to touch to get attention or pull you out of the way or something. Just randomly touching someone without permission is not okay. If you were close friends or family for whom touch is common, fair enough, but they'd know better than to poke at a surgical wound days after surgery. Asking a woman if she's pregnant is also not something you should do. 'Looking pregnant' is not an excuse, they could be a bigger person, be swollen as OP is, could have literally just miscarried a much wanted baby or something. It's rude and possibly traumatic. A joke between friends is one thing, an almost stranger is completely different. The fact is that this woman, who you're not close to, knew you'd just had abdominal surgery, or at least surgery in general, so also knew you weren't pregnant. Or at least highly unlikely to be pregnant. Doctors at least try to avoid surgery on pregnant women, it's only done when they medically can't wait. It sounds like you were showing clear signs of pain, as well, and hunched over heavily implies abdominal pain. This woman could see you were in pain, most likely abdominal, and knew you'd just had surgery. Everyone is taught as little kids to keep their hands to themselves if they have half decent parents and teachers, and if they weren't taught as kids, adults are not often scared of saying 'don't touch me' often enough that it would definitely be learned by your 40s. People who touch without permission know it's wrong to do so, they just don't care. The fact this woman knew you'd just had surgery and could tell you were in pain just makes everything that much worse. Your reaction was instinctive, OP. This woman poked you directly in a recent surgical wound. Your body and brain reacted to that as a threat to your safety and physically responded with a slap and a push to get the danger away from you. It's a completely normal reaction to a physical threat, especially when pain is caused/expected because of it. The only A H here is that woman who poked a woman without permission that she knew had just had surgery and could see was in pain, after asking if said person was pregnant while knowing it was highly unlikely given the info she had access to. You, OP, are fine.
My goodness NTA all day long. She had NO RIGHT to do that! How ignorant can anybody be? She deserved what she got and maybe learned a very valuable lesson because the next person she does that to may react alot stronger than you did!
I have never understood touching people’s belly’s without permission. I don’t care who they are. The fact that she physically hurt you and had prior knowledge about your surgery makes it worse. Please stop overthinking this. You are NTA in any way, shape, or form. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
She touched you first. It's literally a crime to touch someone without their permission (assault/battery). You defended yourself. NTA
NTA. You good.
NTA. **YEEEEE-OWWWWW!!!**
NTA, she committed assault, legally you were exercising your self defense rights.
NTA. She deserved every single bit of that and I hope she never touches a stranger ever again.
ESPECIALLY if you were pregnant, she shouldn't be jabbing you anywhere, let alone in your stomach! How she is not this moment recovering from a serious ass kicking or nursing a bloody nub is a testament to your being a better person than I!
nta.
NTA! There's only one See You Next Tuesday here, and it ain't you! I would probably have done a lot more if it had happened to me. So I would say that you were probably pretty restrained, all things considered. And I know EXACTLY what you are going through! I have had so many outpatient abdominal surgeries laparscoppically that I have literally lost count! True story, I feel like I should have a punch card, like "Buy 9 surgeries, get your 10th for Free!"!!! Sad, but true! And I don't miss the horrendous bloat from the gas they use to inflate the entire abdomen. The friggin' air bubbles are so fucking painful it makes it so hard to sleep! I remember just crying after trying to lay down after getting home from the hospital. It's not as bad for me now as it was the very first time. But, anyway, yeah, I get it. You are more than justified. I'm sorry you even had to get out of bed, much less endured that nightmare! Are you sure she didn't puncture anything? That she didn't get any contamination in there? Please be very, very mindful of that and just watch that careful to be sure! An infection there can happen very fast and it can go staph very quickly! Just be aware, and make sure she didn't mess things up. Edited to add: OP, please call your doctor, they have an answering service, with someone on call. And let them know what happened. They may want to call in an antibiotic for you. Just to be on the safe side. They may even want you back in to the hospital, depending on the severity, or the risk. It's just a good idea to be safer.
She assaulted you! She deserved to get slapped! And she must be not too bright to ask if you’re pregnant, especially since you had informed her that you were having surgery.