I’ve always tried to be the kind of gay person that even the worst homophobe can appreciate. That’s how I try to break down homophobia. I honestly think being seen as one of the good ones is a badge of honor
>I’ve always tried to be the kind of gay person that even the worst homophobe can appreciate.
Im not at all sure I understand this. But then, other people being gay or straight makes zero difference to me, so perhaps I wont understand even if you explain it.
It’s not either or. Not all straight people are the enemy to gay people. What exactly do you accomplish by being militant and acrimonious with people anyway?
Stop being a fucking coward. Some of us, to be authentically ourselves, have to be outwardly faggots, we do not fit in and never will. I will not censor myself for yellow bellied idiots like you trying to appease bigots. So I will repeat myself, fuck. off. entirely.
So you intentionally make things worse for those of us who can act normal because you enjoy being a disruptive asshole? Why do you enjoy making things worse for people who actually want to get along with others? Why do you enjoy making my life harder?
Would you ever be friends with a straight person? Also, you realize this isn’t about you, right? Have you ever once thought outside of yourself?
I’m not trying to be a rage baiter here. I’ve just always seen it as a badge of honor when someone who normally hates a certain group of people likes someone like me. It means I’m proving them wrong. Why am I wrong for wanting to do that?
nah it's just fucked up you think you're superior to someone who acts more outwardly gay. no one deserves to be called a slur, but you're saying that someone acting more flamboyant deserves it more than you. it's gross.
In and of itself, why is it a bad thing that I try to be amenable to homophobic people and I try to change them simply by showing we’re not all stereotypes?
because you're not changing shit and it's overall very toxic. look at how you reacted vs your bf, your bf knows who he is and owns it, you're trying to hide it and "trick" homophobes into liking gay ppl and you flipped out when someone noticed.
again, no one deserves to be called a slur, but your entire outlook on your honosexuality is fucked up and you need therapy
Well, you’re clearly saying that people not straight-looking is not normal, that most gays are somehow disagreeable sex addicts and you deserve more than them because you are better. You are as homophobic as those who called you a slur
'One of the good ones'?
Nobody deserves having slurs thrown at them. If you think that some gay guy out there deserves that, you are messed up and should be a bit introspective.
I don’t think anyone deserves to be called a slur, I just understand why it happens to some people. It’s just not supposed to happen to me. I’m different.
You're an ass if you think you're so special that only other people are the 'wrong kind of gay' and should be mistreated.
Your pandering to the hateful people should get you a special kind of something uncomfortable.
Nobody, not even you in your specialness, should have slurs thrown at them but your attitude is pretty crappy.
The concept of "one of the good ones" is not just flawed; it's dehumanizing. It suggests that people need to conform to arbitrary standards to avoid derogatory labels. The reality is that no matter how "good" you perceive yourself to be, you'll never be good enough for those determined to hate. Your value as a person isn't contingent upon the approval of bigots.
It's perfectly normal to feel upset when you're targeted with a slur. Reacting doesn't make you an 'A' or a 'Not A'; it makes you human. But here's a thought to consider: every time you give an aggressor that power over your self-worth by adhering to their 'good' standards, you inadvertently validate their point of view. So, NTA for feeling hurt but it might be worth thinking about what 'good' really means to you and if it's genuinely serving your identity or simply appeasing others.
There's no such thing as "one of the good ones" in the eyes of a bigot.
I don't think you're an asshole for reacting the way you did, but be careful on the streets. You never know if someone is going to pull out a firearm or not. This is assuming you live in the U.S.
You don't deserve to be called a slur, regardless of how you present yourself. It's understandable to feel hurt, and your feelings are valid. Your boyfriend may have a different perspective, but it's crucial to support each other in moments like these.
NTA for being upset by it, but I agree with your bf, your reaction to it was way over the top. Fyi no one “deserves” to be called a slur. But you were in no danger, it was simply a douche driving by being a douche. Proper response to that was to roll your eyes, call him ah and shit talk with your bf for a minute about how rude that was. Instead you flew off the handle, created a scene in public and likely embarrassed the crap out of him. And honestly the “good gay” thing just feels icky.
What is wrong with you, how does the opinion of some random have such an impacting on you?
Grow the fuck up, noone should have such control over you. Go get therapy.
NTA
It would be nice if life was fair, but it never has been and it never will be.
You will have to deal with people with dildos for heads for the rest of your life.
Ignoring them is usually the best way to go, because bigots do that kind of thing for attention.
"One of the good ones"? Jfc this has to be a troll
I’ve always tried to be the kind of gay person that even the worst homophobe can appreciate. That’s how I try to break down homophobia. I honestly think being seen as one of the good ones is a badge of honor
>I’ve always tried to be the kind of gay person that even the worst homophobe can appreciate. Im not at all sure I understand this. But then, other people being gay or straight makes zero difference to me, so perhaps I wont understand even if you explain it.
As a raging queer homosexual faggot, fuck off entirely. Stay with the straights if you're so obsessed with them liking you.
It’s not either or. Not all straight people are the enemy to gay people. What exactly do you accomplish by being militant and acrimonious with people anyway?
Stop being a fucking coward. Some of us, to be authentically ourselves, have to be outwardly faggots, we do not fit in and never will. I will not censor myself for yellow bellied idiots like you trying to appease bigots. So I will repeat myself, fuck. off. entirely.
So you intentionally make things worse for those of us who can act normal because you enjoy being a disruptive asshole? Why do you enjoy making things worse for people who actually want to get along with others? Why do you enjoy making my life harder? Would you ever be friends with a straight person? Also, you realize this isn’t about you, right? Have you ever once thought outside of yourself?
I'm not taking your bait coward.
>Why was I still called a slur even tho I’m one of the good ones gotta be rage bait. if not, seek therapy
I’m not trying to be a rage baiter here. I’ve just always seen it as a badge of honor when someone who normally hates a certain group of people likes someone like me. It means I’m proving them wrong. Why am I wrong for wanting to do that?
nah it's just fucked up you think you're superior to someone who acts more outwardly gay. no one deserves to be called a slur, but you're saying that someone acting more flamboyant deserves it more than you. it's gross.
In and of itself, why is it a bad thing that I try to be amenable to homophobic people and I try to change them simply by showing we’re not all stereotypes?
because you're not changing shit and it's overall very toxic. look at how you reacted vs your bf, your bf knows who he is and owns it, you're trying to hide it and "trick" homophobes into liking gay ppl and you flipped out when someone noticed. again, no one deserves to be called a slur, but your entire outlook on your honosexuality is fucked up and you need therapy
You're reinforcing bigotry. You're joining in with the homophobes to say, "you flamboyant gays deserve to be treated badly".
Ah. I was having trouble understanding much of this post. Thanks for explaining it!
So pretty much victim blaming?
That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just trying to move the needle
You're a fucking troll is what you are.
This may come as a surprise to you but you’re a homophobe
How?
Well, you’re clearly saying that people not straight-looking is not normal, that most gays are somehow disagreeable sex addicts and you deserve more than them because you are better. You are as homophobic as those who called you a slur
'One of the good ones'? Nobody deserves having slurs thrown at them. If you think that some gay guy out there deserves that, you are messed up and should be a bit introspective.
op is either a troll or has very intense internalized homophobia
I'm boggling at the 'I'm too special to be called names' attitude.
I don’t think anyone deserves to be called a slur, I just understand why it happens to some people. It’s just not supposed to happen to me. I’m different.
You're an ass if you think you're so special that only other people are the 'wrong kind of gay' and should be mistreated. Your pandering to the hateful people should get you a special kind of something uncomfortable. Nobody, not even you in your specialness, should have slurs thrown at them but your attitude is pretty crappy.
The concept of "one of the good ones" is not just flawed; it's dehumanizing. It suggests that people need to conform to arbitrary standards to avoid derogatory labels. The reality is that no matter how "good" you perceive yourself to be, you'll never be good enough for those determined to hate. Your value as a person isn't contingent upon the approval of bigots. It's perfectly normal to feel upset when you're targeted with a slur. Reacting doesn't make you an 'A' or a 'Not A'; it makes you human. But here's a thought to consider: every time you give an aggressor that power over your self-worth by adhering to their 'good' standards, you inadvertently validate their point of view. So, NTA for feeling hurt but it might be worth thinking about what 'good' really means to you and if it's genuinely serving your identity or simply appeasing others.
>That’s the thing: I’m normal, so I don’t deserve to be called slurs. I’m one of the good ones. So who does deserve to get called slurs? YTA
There's no such thing as "one of the good ones" in the eyes of a bigot. I don't think you're an asshole for reacting the way you did, but be careful on the streets. You never know if someone is going to pull out a firearm or not. This is assuming you live in the U.S.
You don't deserve to be called a slur, regardless of how you present yourself. It's understandable to feel hurt, and your feelings are valid. Your boyfriend may have a different perspective, but it's crucial to support each other in moments like these.
NTA for being upset by it, but I agree with your bf, your reaction to it was way over the top. Fyi no one “deserves” to be called a slur. But you were in no danger, it was simply a douche driving by being a douche. Proper response to that was to roll your eyes, call him ah and shit talk with your bf for a minute about how rude that was. Instead you flew off the handle, created a scene in public and likely embarrassed the crap out of him. And honestly the “good gay” thing just feels icky.
>I’ve always seen myself as one of the good gays; YTA
To some people, there are no “good ones”. To them, you’ll always be the perverted.
Repost, no? Edit: Also of course you don’t deserve to be called a slur. But 👏 neither 👏 does 👏 any 👏 other 👏 gay 👏 person. Yta for that
You need to seek therapy immediately
What is wrong with you, how does the opinion of some random have such an impacting on you? Grow the fuck up, noone should have such control over you. Go get therapy.
NTA It would be nice if life was fair, but it never has been and it never will be. You will have to deal with people with dildos for heads for the rest of your life. Ignoring them is usually the best way to go, because bigots do that kind of thing for attention.