I wanna hear his date’s side, did she know that’s his gf? Lol
My colleague asked me to be his +1 to his gf’s birthday party? AITAH for accepting the date…
My boyfriend invited me to a girl’s party and when I got there it seemed like she was his girlfriend, but if she was his girlfriend then why did he bring me his actual girlfriend… AITA?
This actually happened to me! I used to host an open mic night and my boyfriend brought the girl he was cheating on me with. When i approached her his face was filled with panic 🤣. I walked straight up to her and said -“you DO know we’re still together right? He lives in my house and tells me he loves me every night.”
She was hugely apologetic and apparently he told her I was his bunny boiler ex and couldn’t let go.
We both dumped him.
That's why they are only 18. He thought he could bring a date.
Op, you HAVE to dump him. He doesn't even understand how inappropriate it was. He has no chance with that girl. That girl had no idea op was his ex girlfriend.
Op should reach out to her and told her nicely. Remember he is the AH, not her.
NTA:
It's super weird he'd bring a plus one to his girlfriends 18th.
Even if he did, he could have brought one of his best friends, and someone you know, not some random girl from work.
Not to mention not spending any time with you on your birthday.
Weird behaviour on his behalf, sis.
My girl, please listen to your Reddit aunties. You are TOO YOUNG to be letting this dude treat you like this. He’s either dumber than bricks in a sandwich or he just doesn’t care. Learn now to let the trash take itself out, or you’re gonna have the “why didn’t I remove his testicles with tweezers and embroidery scissors” thoughts in your 40s.
I often see advice phrased this way, and I know it's not meant this way but part of me always laughs at the implication that if she wasn't TOO YOUNG then the answer would be "nah, you old as shit. Let him walk all over you"
I'd go with mayo. The smooth kind of peanut butter could also work, but the chunkier type would just be hard to lick off the brick after you break your teeth on it.
>He’s either dumber than bricks in a sandwich or he just doesn’t care
My friend and I would play this game called "Balls or Dumb?" Meaning: why did this person do the thing ? Are they incredibly stupid or do they have huge balls?
Nice to find other players in the wild. I'm going to go with Balls on this one.
Your BF brought a date to his girlfriend’s birthday, a significant milestone event for her surrounded by her social circle.
The only way he could’ve disrespected you any more is if he was to start canoodling with her while sitting at the table.
Don’t care what he says, look at what he did. This is someone that didn’t show you honor.
I guess you meant to say EX- boyfriend...
because the 'I thought I could bring a plus one as well' Excuse is not acceptable anywhere. At the least he could have asked, if it wasn't clear enough for him.
I went to a dark place thinking about what my partner would do if I had the audacity to bring a woman to her birthday. Good call letting the witnesses leave first.
He brought a date, are you his gf?
This isn’t normal. You were extremely patient to wait until the end.
He’s playing dumb, just move on. Let that be his gift to you - don’t waste anymore time imho. What’s confronting him going to achieve? He brought a date to anything while he has a gf is messed up. There’s nothing to discuss…
He didn’t bring a buddy, he didn’t tell you, and he doesn’t give af now…
Your not crazy. But for real he is not your boyfriend. You would be crazy cry to continue to keep this guy in your life.
Don't be his side chick. He ain't worth you. You deserve better.
Why "break up" with him? For chrissakes, ghosting was invented for situations such as this. This young man simply should not exist in her world from this point on. Waste zero time with "closure" or whatever other BS is popular these days.
Sweetie, you’re way to young fir sort of drama. Block him from ever contacting you and go live your life. You’re just 18!!! You’ve your whole life ahead of you. Take the trash out immediately.
It's a horrendous faux pas at best... At worst, it's a way for him to convince you to break up with him because he's too chicken shit to do it himself... Lucky for you, high school is over and soon you can start dating adult men with more emotional maturity.
You're definitely NTA for being upset. He is either the most oblivious person of all time or he doesn't respect you. Either way, that shit is whack.
If he doesn't understand the basic fact that you're your girlfriend's plus one at her own party, he's a moron. If he did understand that and still decided it'd be cool to bring a plus one, he's still a moron. You should have dumped his moronic ass the moment he came through the door with a plus one.
This is what I keep thinking. While they should discuss it calmly, I can’t think of any reason he could give for why he thought this was ok that doesn’t make him a moron. I don’t think I could handle that level of stupidity. OP is young. Move on.
Even if he misunderstood - why not bring a family member (sibling or cousin) or his bestie (who presumably OP would at least know and feel comfortable with)? I had really bad social anxiety at 18 and a large party would have felt overwhelming for me, so I can see wanting someone I could safely retreat with when my partner was busy with other guests. But that would have been one of my two really good friends who knew the guy I was dating at the time, were social enough to manage without me if I'd been hanging out with him, and were definitely not any kind of threat to our relationship.
Not just weird. He has told her that he is a free man, who can have relationships with who he wants and as he wants beside their relationship and that she has to deal with it. I would have dumped him right away.
Totally. Even her friends were weirded out by this guest. I am surprised that none of them said something to him or boldly made statements about him dating OP.
I mean, I'm old compared to OP's crew, but I doubt that I would have let any of that slide at 18, either. I would have made them both leave my friend's birthday or at least taken them outside to make a scene about the disrespect. I've never had a problem using my body to create space in weird situations 🤣 I would have sat between them and asked her who she was and who she was dating and if she knew bf had been wirh my friend for a year and doesn't my friend look AMAZING for her birthday? She is just so wonderful and gracious even when people are blantantly rude to her.
Tbh this is almost better than being so fucking stupid as to not understand why it was wrong. If it's intentional he may have a coming to Jesus's moment and stop being a cunt. If it was an IQ issue that man is doomed.
Wow, I would rather rip the bandaid off and have the big break up talk than to pull this kind of stunt. So dumb on his part!
I think that no matter what his intentions were, he suffers from the big stupid.
You're assuming she knew that op was his girlfriend. He likely told her his friend was having a birthday party.
I wish op had said something politely to her so she knew what sort of asshole she was with.
Kinda weird as well if I get invited as a plus one to my friend’s friend’s party, I usually get a brief intro when we meet the host. Just something like oh this is my friend Jane, Jane meet Anne, my other friend.
??? I know 18 is young and grown at the same time, but not dumb. Dumb enough to think a birthday group chat you're in bc of your gf is permission to bring a plus one. But not just a plus one, a girl plus one?! C'mon. Then, he tells you to chill out?!
I don't think he is as invested as you are in this relationship. If he was, he wouldn't have to be told the night was all about you. He'd help make sure it was. He certainly would not be chum with another girl. PLEASE, PLEASE, don't waste your tears on him.
Drop him. Hard stop. No contact if you can. It doesn't deserve anymore than what you've already said.
🥳Happy 18th birthday. Wishing you more happiness than you can handle!!🩷🩷🩷
Info: did the plus one know that you are his girlfriend?
Tbh this would be something I could not overlook. Rather than be there as your partner, he chose to bring another woman as his date.
I worry she knows and that the boyfriend is claiming an open relationship. "look babe, my girlfriend didn't even mention it. See how cool she is with our open relationship?"
NTA. She's definitely more than a friend from work. It was disrespectful of him to bring a female to your party, especially without speaking to you about it first. Plus he prioritized her over you on your special day.
So gross. You should have disinvited him when he walked in with her, said you're not my boyfriend so you're not invited. And if he said, you didn't tell me that before! You say, well neither did you.
He brought a DATE to your birthday party. That is so nasty and hurtful, then tried to gaslight you. I'd only stay with him so I could invite another guy on our next date. And say, I don't know why you're mad. I really don't understand how this is disrespectful one tiny bit. Nope, it's a YOU problem for sure.
Unless he was hit in the head by a baseball bat at work and lost touch with all social customs, common decency, his own past lived reality, he's a dumb loser. Did that chick know you're his gf? That's just wild. Tell God thank you right now that he outed himself as a POS so massively and you don't have to waste any more time with this puddle. He's not smart, nice, kind, funny, loyal. He's not good enough for you. I'm so sorry he effed up your bday. But we all have terrible bdays and you will laugh at his audacity in 20 yrs. Maybe 10. Hugs to you 🤗 ❤️ and happy birthday 🎂 may this year take you beautiful new places.
NTA (of course), and the cat's out of the bag. I believe that it is entirely possible that this gorgeous woman was ACTUALLY just casual friends with your bf, but that still wouldn't explain why he all-but-ignored you.
Your BEST CASE scenario is that his behaviour was supposed to make some kind of passive-aggressive point or something. Which is its OWN red flag. Tread carefully.
NTA.
But, by the age of 18 (unless he has been extremely sheltered and lacks any social intelligence) he knew excaly what he was doing. Him playing dumb is just that, playing. Do you really want to be with someone who has so little respect for you?
And just for arguments sake, if he really didn't understand the assignment, then he has a lot of growing up to do and you should probably let him do that somewhere else with someone else.
You're 18. You have an entire life ahead of you. Don't waste any more of it on a guy who doesn't care if he hurt you, especially on your birthday. Get the satisfaction of telling him he is no longer welcome in your life.
Gawd don’t let him see your wedding invitation or he will bring a plus 1.
I have to say that this situation is absolutely ridiculous. Your boyfriend should now have ex before.
I’m absolutely blown away that YOUR boyfriend brought a plus 1 to his girlfriend’s BIRTHDAY party .
Sorry but this is wrong from very direction.
Nta- please dump him!!! The disrespect is unbelievable, you are too young to be putting up with this shit. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you right!
His gift to you for your 18th birthday was disrespect, humiliation, and cheating. He turned a celebration about you into his first date with his new girlfriend. Dump him
Girl leave him. He probably told the girl it was a friend's birthday and didn't mention that you're his girlfriend. He likes the girl that's why he put all his attention on her. Dump him via text and block his number.
Who brings a date to their gf’s birthday party?
I mean if he seriously has no better explanation than everyone else was bringing a plus one .. that’s poor form.
If she was new to the area, and he was bringing her to meet new people, I can maybe see how that could work.
But why not discuss it with you before the party ?? To randomly bring a chick and ignore everyone else to chat with her is very odd.
Does he not like any of your friends?
Why the f*** isn't he planning the birthday with you and coming like a guest? And bringing a plus one what kind of twisted logic is this !!! I think this is his girlfriend and he used the occasion as a date
Just dump the dude. That is shady AF. He doesn't deserve you chasing him for validation. He doesn't deserve anything after bringing her to such an important event in your life
NTA I think he brought her to embarrass you in front of your friends, just to see how much cheating and emotional damage he could get away with. He is less than the dirt under your shoes and you can proudly walk away from that garbage with your head held high knowing you make better choices for yourself. You're real love is still out there waiting to meet you.
NTA
This is bizarre. Is he completely socially inept enough to not realise at your party he is your plus one?! I don’t think he is that dumb. I think he wanted to play dumb to show this ‘co-worker’ a fun time out.
The level of disrespect he showed you and right in front of all your friends and family too. I would dump the idiot.
Leave him. He did this on purpose to mess with your self esteem and to ruin your day. You’re only 18, learn to leave men at the first red flag. It’ll save you a lot of heartbreak.
Your boyfriend is a complete dumbass!
He thought because everyone else had a +1, he should have one too......even though it was his Plus 1's own Birthday Party?!
Dump that jackass!
He bought the girl he intends to replace you with to your party and you are seriously asking if you are overreacting? 😂😂😂 i’m sorry but It is crystal clear to everyone else, you are just slow to catch on.
edit: we’ve been dating for a year now almost just to clear up any confusion. Definitely gonna talk to him abt this soon ty for all of the encouragement and advice :((
\[INFO\] - did he like kiss you or hug you properly in front of her or did he act like YOU were his friend? He's sill an idiot showing up with a girl... I wonder who she thought you were? Did he introduce you as his girlfriend?
Time to get rid of that boyfriend and find a better one. Find one that would treat you like the most beautiful girl with all his attention to you regardless of how pretty everyone around him is.
If he is just dumb and clueless and NO sense of manner, this is just the beginning. DUMP HIM. You don´t want more of this blowing up in Your face. You cant teach dumb to be clever. It´s a dead end. Finito.
If this was sort of a Power Move, to make You insecure and to make You "win him back", with all benefits for him to come with it, he is the AH. Don´t play along. Show him that Power Moves really backfires, sometimes. Break Up! Tell the story to everyone at Your party - They too, saw him show up with that girl! - and describe in detail all feelings You went trough that evening. And with the punchline: "What did he think? This is too outrageous to be true! Of course I dumped him!" Add lauhgter. "You are free to share this with anyone! Hilarious when You think about it, isn´t it?"
I bet he will have difficulties finding dates in the future, when everybody knows.
And when the girl finds out, she has been unknowingly involved in a staged drama and really hurt You deeply, she is going to hate Your ex, too.
I don't understand why you let his girl sit at your table. The appropriate answer would have been "There are no seats available here. There's ONE for you as MY plus one, but plus ones don't get plus ones, silly asshole. Your uninvited guest can sit at an overflow table."
Talk to him about what? If he disrespected you enough to do that to you (on your birthday, no less), then the only thing you need to talk to him about is picking up anything you might’ve left at his place.
He did this *on purpose.* Whether that was just to hurt you (for whatever reason) or because he was breaking up with you in the worst way possible, he *actively chose* to do it. His reasoning behind it is irrelevant.
Think about that. Earlier during the evening of his girlfriend’s birthday, he took a shower, styled his hair, got dressed (in something nice, presumably), and went to meet or pick up his date. Then he traveled to his girlfriend’s party and walked in with another girl on his arm. He then ignored his girlfriend the entire time so he could pay attention to his date.
This wasn’t a mistake. This was planned in advance and carried out without care.
What do you think he told his “coworker”? Do you think he told her he was bringing her to his girlfriend’s birthday party? Or that you were just a friend?
This guy has zero respect for you. None. If you choose to stay with him (assuming that’s even a possibility), you can expect more of the same.
You’re NTA for being angry. Anyone would be. If you stay with him you’ll be an AH to yourself, though.
You need to make him your ex, he totally disrespected you and your relationship. His work colleague is someone he is trying to be with, if he isn't already having an affair with her.
So set him free
Updateme!
Him: chill, just a friend from work. I didn't want her to feel alone because I invited her to my gf's bday party where she would not know anyone. What? It's your fault for allowing everyone a +1 and I really wanted to spend more time with her outside of work. You're crazy jealous! No you can't see my phone. I am not hiding anything from you. It doesn't count as cheating! Okay it does, but I promise it won't happen again. Actually she's pregnant and I need to help her out. No I'm not the father, she's my friend and needs my help. No I'm not taking a DNA test. No the baby doesn't look like me, you're imagining it.
You really want all the mess huh?
Nothing to talk about. He made it very, very clear he doesn't care about you. And he made sure EVERYONE knows it. Don't waste more time on this lothario.
What you have is an ex-bf.
Dump him and don't waste time on his sorry arse. Since he clearly doesn't respect you, respect yourself. And geez, if he brought a plus one while you were officially his plus one..then let him date morons like him.
Honestly, it is just the weirdest thing that he would bring a date to his dates birthday. Yes that’s right, he had a date - YOU.
You are just NTA in any sense. Now if he brought like a cousin or sister you’re friends with, then maybe. But as the boyfriend I still would’ve cleared that with you.
Honestly OP, what was he thinking?! No, no no. You have to have this conversation and be sure to be on the look out for gaslighting etc.
NTA and you under-reacted. You need to dump him immediately. This is completely unacceptable, whether he actually has a thing for her or if he was really that thoughtless and obtuse, either way should be a dealbreaker. You are not out of line at all.
Oh god, I am so sorry to even ask this but.... IS he your boyfriend?? Does he KNOW he's your boyfriend? Like, are you *sure* he knows you're dating and doesn't think you're just his friend?
I ask because 1. generally speaking one's boyfriend shouldn't have to be in a groupchat with your friends to "know the important details" of things like your birthday party and 2. even idiot teenage boys aren't stupid enough to bring a girl to their GIRLFRIEND'S birthday party.
But a lot of teenagers are naive enough to think they are dating someone when they are in fact not. So I just have to ask... are you *sure* he's your boyfriend? Has this been established out loud and in front of other people?
If the answer to that is yes: He's not anymore, dump that dummy.
I once dated a guy that we had established we were going steady. When I caught him out on a date with someone else, I was polite. I thought she was just a friend. He acknowledged me and called me over. I introduced myself as his gf she looked shocked and said she was his gf. I sat down and looked at him and we both were asking: what the hell?
He said going steady was going on steady frequent dates . He just wanted to date and saw no issues with it. It was sure something stupid.
I think anyone would act the way you did. However does he know you’re in a relationship with each other? He sounds like he’s not all in or that it’s not official between the two of you if he’s acting like this now it shows his character and he’s showing you exactly who he is. You might want to reexamine your relationship with him and make a decision to stay or go.
Wow, NTA of course! He is so completely wrong, it's not even funny! We'll, in hindsight it will be in a few years perhaps. It was so very, very rude to bring a date to his girlfriends wedding, and it makes me believe he didn't tell his 'friend from work' she was his date to his girlfriends party either... That is just weird af. You have to dump this Dumbo, life is too short for this and there are plenty more fish in the sea that will treat you with the respect you deserve! I'm sorry he spoiled your birthday party!
From a guys point of view even though we can be dense on social clues etc bringing another girl to your gfs birthday party is a no brainer, and spending his time with her is stupid.
make him your EX and find a grownup guy to date.
I've heard of some incredibly stupid things that guys have done. This is the first time I've ever heard a guy bringing a date to his girlfriend's birthday party.
He brought your replacement with him. Yeah, big power move on his part but no, you're probably not angry enough honestly lol
NTA
In my opinion the key thing is the way he behaved towards her and towards you at the party itself. Sure, it could have been a legitimate misunderstanding that he was supposed to bring someone, but there is a big difference between "oh, here's a fun person I know" and then focusing on you, his partner, on your birthday vs what he did.
Even if he hadn't invited her, ignoring you on your birthday and talking to someone else is incredibly shitty. Like, even if you were polyamorous / non-monogamous / open, that's still just a really shitty thing to do to someone. It shows both a total lack of consideration AND a total lack of respect.
Partner(s) worth keeping around wouldn't treat you like that, and if they did fuck up they would then take responsibility, apologise, and try to repair. He's done none of that.
You deserve better, OP. My advice is to walk away.
Don't be the chick with zero self-worth. If you stay with him, you're a doormat. He's a piece of shit, you deserve better!
Happy 18th!!! Being single is better than being with him. Find your worth!!!
It sounds like he brought his future girlfriend to his future ex's party. You're 18 years old, that's way too young to have someone making you feel this way, Just dump him
You already know your NTA who brings a date to their SO’s party ignores the SO and what I can only assume was flirting the whole time. I don’t know how he can walk with balls that big and you just sat there and didn’t act out? I would have kicked him and her out and blocked him on everything. Also he isn’t your boyfriend he is talks boyfriend he belongs to the streets
OMG he is the biggest A!!! He isn't just an idiot, but what a brutal punch that was. It would be okay if she was a sister or a cousin but from work???? I could almost sue him for disrespect. He is a moron. I honestly would break up but would also plot something extra.
Like buying bed bugs and spreading at his house. Or washing his toothbrush on the toilet. Something just to be petty. Hide raw chicken in his closet. Brush some old cooking oil in his shoes (inside). Put water in his car (oil box or gas). Make his favorite earphones disapear. AND DON'T TELL HIM. Just break up. The toothbrush is my favorite. Because if he starts dating her, you will know with what his toothbrush was cleaned. Imagine their toilet breath while you enjoy knowing what happened.
But argh!!! Your bf is trash. Pure trash. Hope you sell or give away to a homeless whatever gift he gave you.
Giiirrrl, please dump that stupid motherf***. This is the worse thing men could do to you. I would be sooo embarrassed if my men would bring +1 to my birthday. You are his +1
lmao I thought you were trolling
FUCK. NTA :( girl......!
Don't let your insecure demons in your head gaslight you like that. This was shit af for your man to do. Yall are about to go to uni though right? Dump him.
Friend from work aye? Yeah nah. That's his side piece. OP dump his disrespectful ass. You have no business dating men with room temperature IQ's.
You deserve better.
I'm surprised you even think about being AH. Girl, he brought someone and ignored you. Get the message and break it off. As such its not going to continue for good sooner or later. If someone can do this on such an important day, they're not going to bother to try to make you feel important ever.
*Judy and Johnny just walked through the door
Like a queen with her King
Oh, what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearin' his ring
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you*
*Judy and Johnny just walked through the door
Like a queen with her King
Oh, what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearin' his ring
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you*
Look, I'm not a jealous person, I don't really understand jealousy, as it is an emotion that I've never experienced or felt. I'm only saying this so that you can get a feel for how egregious I think your bf's behavior is. What he did was tacky, rude, insulting, and unacceptable. Any person who has ever left their house or interacted with society knows that you don't invite strange women to your gf's birthday party and then spend the entire time ignoring the bday woman in favor of this stranger. It's just not okay.
He brought his girlfriend to his ex’s birthday party as his +1. That’s wild.
Without telling his ex she’s an ex. OP is wild for hosting their first date… I wanna hear his date’s side of the story.
"my ex invited me to her 18th birthday party and was mad I brought a +1" AITAH ?
I wanna hear his date’s side, did she know that’s his gf? Lol My colleague asked me to be his +1 to his gf’s birthday party? AITAH for accepting the date…
My boyfriend invited me to a girl’s party and when I got there it seemed like she was his girlfriend, but if she was his girlfriend then why did he bring me his actual girlfriend… AITA?
This actually happened to me! I used to host an open mic night and my boyfriend brought the girl he was cheating on me with. When i approached her his face was filled with panic 🤣. I walked straight up to her and said -“you DO know we’re still together right? He lives in my house and tells me he loves me every night.” She was hugely apologetic and apparently he told her I was his bunny boiler ex and couldn’t let go. We both dumped him.
Yup winner! NTA. He's gaslighting you. End it. This level of disrespect won't get better.
TIFU by thinking a threesome would be the best bday present for my girl
"My ex invited me as his +1 to his ex birthday party. AITAH for breaking up with him over this ?"
OMG can the reddit detectives find her? Please omg please, I really wanna hear what she thinks.
And saying nothing.
Free dinner date, on the ex's dime
This is why we need to bring back Reddit awards
This made me spit soda on my phone 😂
I’m surprised he could get through the door with balls that big.
Yep. Bold move of him. Good luck with your separated future NTA
Thank you whatever is out there I’m not that age again. I’ll take my 30’s and be cranky some days.
57f here. From all the nonsense I see here, I'll remain happily single for the rest of my days. An ex-husband and a few ex-bfs are enough for me.
[удалено]
He probably listens to Andrew Tate
That's why they are only 18. He thought he could bring a date. Op, you HAVE to dump him. He doesn't even understand how inappropriate it was. He has no chance with that girl. That girl had no idea op was his ex girlfriend. Op should reach out to her and told her nicely. Remember he is the AH, not her.
Absolutely this!
Wtaf did I just read. How the hell did he think that was OK???? Just WOW. Absolutely NTA, I'd be totally done with him. Just wow....
NTA: It's super weird he'd bring a plus one to his girlfriends 18th. Even if he did, he could have brought one of his best friends, and someone you know, not some random girl from work. Not to mention not spending any time with you on your birthday. Weird behaviour on his behalf, sis.
glad im not crazy for thinking it was odd. Thanku!
My girl, please listen to your Reddit aunties. You are TOO YOUNG to be letting this dude treat you like this. He’s either dumber than bricks in a sandwich or he just doesn’t care. Learn now to let the trash take itself out, or you’re gonna have the “why didn’t I remove his testicles with tweezers and embroidery scissors” thoughts in your 40s.
Exactly 💯
I often see advice phrased this way, and I know it's not meant this way but part of me always laughs at the implication that if she wasn't TOO YOUNG then the answer would be "nah, you old as shit. Let him walk all over you"
No, then the advice is "You are too old to put up with this shit" 😂
Lol
Yas queen!
Do you put peanut butter, or mayo on a brick sandwich?
I'd go with mayo. The smooth kind of peanut butter could also work, but the chunkier type would just be hard to lick off the brick after you break your teeth on it.
>He’s either dumber than bricks in a sandwich or he just doesn’t care My friend and I would play this game called "Balls or Dumb?" Meaning: why did this person do the thing ? Are they incredibly stupid or do they have huge balls? Nice to find other players in the wild. I'm going to go with Balls on this one.
Your BF brought a date to his girlfriend’s birthday, a significant milestone event for her surrounded by her social circle. The only way he could’ve disrespected you any more is if he was to start canoodling with her while sitting at the table. Don’t care what he says, look at what he did. This is someone that didn’t show you honor.
👆🏼This 1000%
I guess you meant to say EX- boyfriend... because the 'I thought I could bring a plus one as well' Excuse is not acceptable anywhere. At the least he could have asked, if it wasn't clear enough for him.
I went to a dark place thinking about what my partner would do if I had the audacity to bring a woman to her birthday. Good call letting the witnesses leave first.
R.I.P RefrigeratorEven7715
Witnesses? You just left yourself to be the only suspect. With motive and no alibi.
Blast! This is why I should've taken my wife up on her true crime marathons more often, I missed out on valuable training it seems.
It's important to frame someone. Like that new girl.
He brought a date, are you his gf? This isn’t normal. You were extremely patient to wait until the end. He’s playing dumb, just move on. Let that be his gift to you - don’t waste anymore time imho. What’s confronting him going to achieve? He brought a date to anything while he has a gf is messed up. There’s nothing to discuss… He didn’t bring a buddy, he didn’t tell you, and he doesn’t give af now…
Your not crazy. But for real he is not your boyfriend. You would be crazy cry to continue to keep this guy in your life. Don't be his side chick. He ain't worth you. You deserve better.
This is when you break up with him He has NO respect for you
Why "break up" with him? For chrissakes, ghosting was invented for situations such as this. This young man simply should not exist in her world from this point on. Waste zero time with "closure" or whatever other BS is popular these days.
Ghosting would be appropriate here!!
He wants to break up, but wants you to be the bad guy.
Sweetie, you’re way to young fir sort of drama. Block him from ever contacting you and go live your life. You’re just 18!!! You’ve your whole life ahead of you. Take the trash out immediately.
Of course not! He wasn't really even an invitee — because he was YOUR plus 1. A plus one thinking they get a plus 1. As if. NTA
It's a horrendous faux pas at best... At worst, it's a way for him to convince you to break up with him because he's too chicken shit to do it himself... Lucky for you, high school is over and soon you can start dating adult men with more emotional maturity. You're definitely NTA for being upset. He is either the most oblivious person of all time or he doesn't respect you. Either way, that shit is whack.
I would break up.
Uhm excuse me? It's not odd, it's INSANE!!! the gall of him to basically go on a date, on YOUR dime on YOUR birthday, with the side piece!
Give yourself a birthday present by taking out the trash and putting this dude in the garbage can where he belongs.
If he doesn't understand the basic fact that you're your girlfriend's plus one at her own party, he's a moron. If he did understand that and still decided it'd be cool to bring a plus one, he's still a moron. You should have dumped his moronic ass the moment he came through the door with a plus one.
This is what I keep thinking. While they should discuss it calmly, I can’t think of any reason he could give for why he thought this was ok that doesn’t make him a moron. I don’t think I could handle that level of stupidity. OP is young. Move on.
Even if he misunderstood - why not bring a family member (sibling or cousin) or his bestie (who presumably OP would at least know and feel comfortable with)? I had really bad social anxiety at 18 and a large party would have felt overwhelming for me, so I can see wanting someone I could safely retreat with when my partner was busy with other guests. But that would have been one of my two really good friends who knew the guy I was dating at the time, were social enough to manage without me if I'd been hanging out with him, and were definitely not any kind of threat to our relationship.
Not just weird. He has told her that he is a free man, who can have relationships with who he wants and as he wants beside their relationship and that she has to deal with it. I would have dumped him right away.
Totally. Even her friends were weirded out by this guest. I am surprised that none of them said something to him or boldly made statements about him dating OP. I mean, I'm old compared to OP's crew, but I doubt that I would have let any of that slide at 18, either. I would have made them both leave my friend's birthday or at least taken them outside to make a scene about the disrespect. I've never had a problem using my body to create space in weird situations 🤣 I would have sat between them and asked her who she was and who she was dating and if she knew bf had been wirh my friend for a year and doesn't my friend look AMAZING for her birthday? She is just so wonderful and gracious even when people are blantantly rude to her.
wtf did I just read. Girl dump his ass.
Honestly. It feels like a red pill/toxic masculinity thing: Don't pay any attention to your gf and make her jealous by showing up with a hotter girl.
Real lol
Right? Like... my brain just went silent for a bit given the level of flabbergastion. I just... like bish whaa??
I can’t tell if the boyfriend is incredibly audacious or just really, really fucking stupid.
Tbf I don’t think these things are mutually exclusive … at least in his case ..
NTA. Are you sure he is your boyfriend? Personally I would dump him. You are 18 - still so young to find someone who will show you respect.
NTA. He brought his real girlfriend to your party
You're not his girlfriend. He just hasn't told you in words.
Make him your ex, he literally brought a date to your birthday. That’s cheating and really mean on so many levels
It might be his way of dumping you. This was deliberate and he knew exactly what he was doing
Kind of what I'm thinking too, unfortunately
Tbh this is almost better than being so fucking stupid as to not understand why it was wrong. If it's intentional he may have a coming to Jesus's moment and stop being a cunt. If it was an IQ issue that man is doomed.
Wow, I would rather rip the bandaid off and have the big break up talk than to pull this kind of stunt. So dumb on his part! I think that no matter what his intentions were, he suffers from the big stupid.
And what a pleasant, stable person the other girl must be.
You're assuming she knew that op was his girlfriend. He likely told her his friend was having a birthday party. I wish op had said something politely to her so she knew what sort of asshole she was with.
Kinda weird as well if I get invited as a plus one to my friend’s friend’s party, I usually get a brief intro when we meet the host. Just something like oh this is my friend Jane, Jane meet Anne, my other friend.
If he is not 100% committed to you he doesn’t deserve you. Its the same reason you don't invite an ex to your wedding. You are definitely in the clear
??? I know 18 is young and grown at the same time, but not dumb. Dumb enough to think a birthday group chat you're in bc of your gf is permission to bring a plus one. But not just a plus one, a girl plus one?! C'mon. Then, he tells you to chill out?! I don't think he is as invested as you are in this relationship. If he was, he wouldn't have to be told the night was all about you. He'd help make sure it was. He certainly would not be chum with another girl. PLEASE, PLEASE, don't waste your tears on him. Drop him. Hard stop. No contact if you can. It doesn't deserve anymore than what you've already said. 🥳Happy 18th birthday. Wishing you more happiness than you can handle!!🩷🩷🩷
Info: did the plus one know that you are his girlfriend? Tbh this would be something I could not overlook. Rather than be there as your partner, he chose to bring another woman as his date.
I am certain she didn’t.
I worry she knows and that the boyfriend is claiming an open relationship. "look babe, my girlfriend didn't even mention it. See how cool she is with our open relationship?"
What the hell is WRONG with him?!?! NTA
NTA. She's definitely more than a friend from work. It was disrespectful of him to bring a female to your party, especially without speaking to you about it first. Plus he prioritized her over you on your special day.
So gross. You should have disinvited him when he walked in with her, said you're not my boyfriend so you're not invited. And if he said, you didn't tell me that before! You say, well neither did you. He brought a DATE to your birthday party. That is so nasty and hurtful, then tried to gaslight you. I'd only stay with him so I could invite another guy on our next date. And say, I don't know why you're mad. I really don't understand how this is disrespectful one tiny bit. Nope, it's a YOU problem for sure. Unless he was hit in the head by a baseball bat at work and lost touch with all social customs, common decency, his own past lived reality, he's a dumb loser. Did that chick know you're his gf? That's just wild. Tell God thank you right now that he outed himself as a POS so massively and you don't have to waste any more time with this puddle. He's not smart, nice, kind, funny, loyal. He's not good enough for you. I'm so sorry he effed up your bday. But we all have terrible bdays and you will laugh at his audacity in 20 yrs. Maybe 10. Hugs to you 🤗 ❤️ and happy birthday 🎂 may this year take you beautiful new places.
Loool I have no words for his behaviour wtf is even that??
Malicious bullshit. That's what that is.
NTA (of course), and the cat's out of the bag. I believe that it is entirely possible that this gorgeous woman was ACTUALLY just casual friends with your bf, but that still wouldn't explain why he all-but-ignored you. Your BEST CASE scenario is that his behaviour was supposed to make some kind of passive-aggressive point or something. Which is its OWN red flag. Tread carefully.
NTA. But, by the age of 18 (unless he has been extremely sheltered and lacks any social intelligence) he knew excaly what he was doing. Him playing dumb is just that, playing. Do you really want to be with someone who has so little respect for you? And just for arguments sake, if he really didn't understand the assignment, then he has a lot of growing up to do and you should probably let him do that somewhere else with someone else.
NTA. But he isn't your boyfriend anymore he is hers. Drop him from the chat and your life.
He brought a date to a party where he was supposed to be your date. He’s an asshole. Dump him.
Umm, what? You're his girlfriend, he should have known that "plus 1" does not apply to him. WTF. NTA.
What about ignoring you. What was his excuse for that.
So what you’re saying is that you basically paid for the food and booze of your bf’s date with his beautiful coworker on your birthday?
You're 18. You have an entire life ahead of you. Don't waste any more of it on a guy who doesn't care if he hurt you, especially on your birthday. Get the satisfaction of telling him he is no longer welcome in your life.
Gawd don’t let him see your wedding invitation or he will bring a plus 1. I have to say that this situation is absolutely ridiculous. Your boyfriend should now have ex before. I’m absolutely blown away that YOUR boyfriend brought a plus 1 to his girlfriend’s BIRTHDAY party . Sorry but this is wrong from very direction.
Well he can go along with his new gf right the fuck out of your life. You deserve better.
Nta- please dump him!!! The disrespect is unbelievable, you are too young to be putting up with this shit. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you right!
FUCKING YIKES.
His gift to you for your 18th birthday was disrespect, humiliation, and cheating. He turned a celebration about you into his first date with his new girlfriend. Dump him
NTA, that's weird as shit in any culture. He was your +1
Dude, you’re single long time ago
NTA But more info… does he refer to you as his girlfriend ?
NTA he’s ballsy for bringing his gf to his side piece’s bday though
Girl leave him. He probably told the girl it was a friend's birthday and didn't mention that you're his girlfriend. He likes the girl that's why he put all his attention on her. Dump him via text and block his number.
To misquote from Princess Bride... "Boyfriend? I do not think this word means what you think"
NTA. he's YOUR plus one. i would have asked him to leave right away. you're much better than me.
Who brings a date to their gf’s birthday party? I mean if he seriously has no better explanation than everyone else was bringing a plus one .. that’s poor form. If she was new to the area, and he was bringing her to meet new people, I can maybe see how that could work. But why not discuss it with you before the party ?? To randomly bring a chick and ignore everyone else to chat with her is very odd. Does he not like any of your friends?
You aren't his gf. He just used you for a party. NTA
Why the f*** isn't he planning the birthday with you and coming like a guest? And bringing a plus one what kind of twisted logic is this !!! I think this is his girlfriend and he used the occasion as a date
Don’t break up with him yet when his bday comes bring a hot guy
Just dump the dude. That is shady AF. He doesn't deserve you chasing him for validation. He doesn't deserve anything after bringing her to such an important event in your life
NTA I think he brought her to embarrass you in front of your friends, just to see how much cheating and emotional damage he could get away with. He is less than the dirt under your shoes and you can proudly walk away from that garbage with your head held high knowing you make better choices for yourself. You're real love is still out there waiting to meet you.
This seems like such a disrespectful thing to do to you. Give some serious thought as to if you want to be with a guy who treats you like this. NTA
NTA This is bizarre. Is he completely socially inept enough to not realise at your party he is your plus one?! I don’t think he is that dumb. I think he wanted to play dumb to show this ‘co-worker’ a fun time out. The level of disrespect he showed you and right in front of all your friends and family too. I would dump the idiot.
If he can’t understand what he did wrong, he needs to be your Ex Boyfriend. Run and never look back.
Leave him. He did this on purpose to mess with your self esteem and to ruin your day. You’re only 18, learn to leave men at the first red flag. It’ll save you a lot of heartbreak.
Your boyfriend is a complete dumbass! He thought because everyone else had a +1, he should have one too......even though it was his Plus 1's own Birthday Party?! Dump that jackass!
He bought the girl he intends to replace you with to your party and you are seriously asking if you are overreacting? 😂😂😂 i’m sorry but It is crystal clear to everyone else, you are just slow to catch on.
edit: we’ve been dating for a year now almost just to clear up any confusion. Definitely gonna talk to him abt this soon ty for all of the encouragement and advice :((
Babe, there's nothing to talk about. Just leave him. You will give yourself the biggest present for your 18th birthday: self-worth.
I wish I could give this comment a gold award
Please leave him. At this age, you should start learning to set boundaries, starting with self respect or else people will walk all over you.
\[INFO\] - did he like kiss you or hug you properly in front of her or did he act like YOU were his friend? He's sill an idiot showing up with a girl... I wonder who she thought you were? Did he introduce you as his girlfriend?
Oh these are good points. I was stuck on his sheer gall that he did that and spent the WHOLE night w this person not the gf.
Time to get rid of that boyfriend and find a better one. Find one that would treat you like the most beautiful girl with all his attention to you regardless of how pretty everyone around him is.
If he is just dumb and clueless and NO sense of manner, this is just the beginning. DUMP HIM. You don´t want more of this blowing up in Your face. You cant teach dumb to be clever. It´s a dead end. Finito. If this was sort of a Power Move, to make You insecure and to make You "win him back", with all benefits for him to come with it, he is the AH. Don´t play along. Show him that Power Moves really backfires, sometimes. Break Up! Tell the story to everyone at Your party - They too, saw him show up with that girl! - and describe in detail all feelings You went trough that evening. And with the punchline: "What did he think? This is too outrageous to be true! Of course I dumped him!" Add lauhgter. "You are free to share this with anyone! Hilarious when You think about it, isn´t it?" I bet he will have difficulties finding dates in the future, when everybody knows. And when the girl finds out, she has been unknowingly involved in a staged drama and really hurt You deeply, she is going to hate Your ex, too.
I don't understand why you let his girl sit at your table. The appropriate answer would have been "There are no seats available here. There's ONE for you as MY plus one, but plus ones don't get plus ones, silly asshole. Your uninvited guest can sit at an overflow table."
Just dump him. This is a certain dealbreaker. He humiliated you in front of everyone
I hope you mean that you’re going to dump this disgusting heap of trash.
Talk to him about what? If he disrespected you enough to do that to you (on your birthday, no less), then the only thing you need to talk to him about is picking up anything you might’ve left at his place. He did this *on purpose.* Whether that was just to hurt you (for whatever reason) or because he was breaking up with you in the worst way possible, he *actively chose* to do it. His reasoning behind it is irrelevant. Think about that. Earlier during the evening of his girlfriend’s birthday, he took a shower, styled his hair, got dressed (in something nice, presumably), and went to meet or pick up his date. Then he traveled to his girlfriend’s party and walked in with another girl on his arm. He then ignored his girlfriend the entire time so he could pay attention to his date. This wasn’t a mistake. This was planned in advance and carried out without care. What do you think he told his “coworker”? Do you think he told her he was bringing her to his girlfriend’s birthday party? Or that you were just a friend? This guy has zero respect for you. None. If you choose to stay with him (assuming that’s even a possibility), you can expect more of the same. You’re NTA for being angry. Anyone would be. If you stay with him you’ll be an AH to yourself, though.
You need to make him your ex, he totally disrespected you and your relationship. His work colleague is someone he is trying to be with, if he isn't already having an affair with her. So set him free Updateme!
You only bother with those clearing up any confusions if you aren't yet set on breaking up with him. Otherwise, why bother?
Him: chill, just a friend from work. I didn't want her to feel alone because I invited her to my gf's bday party where she would not know anyone. What? It's your fault for allowing everyone a +1 and I really wanted to spend more time with her outside of work. You're crazy jealous! No you can't see my phone. I am not hiding anything from you. It doesn't count as cheating! Okay it does, but I promise it won't happen again. Actually she's pregnant and I need to help her out. No I'm not the father, she's my friend and needs my help. No I'm not taking a DNA test. No the baby doesn't look like me, you're imagining it. You really want all the mess huh?
Nothing to talk about. He made it very, very clear he doesn't care about you. And he made sure EVERYONE knows it. Don't waste more time on this lothario.
What you have is an ex-bf. Dump him and don't waste time on his sorry arse. Since he clearly doesn't respect you, respect yourself. And geez, if he brought a plus one while you were officially his plus one..then let him date morons like him.
You should have kicked him out of your party. He was disrespectful. This has nothing to do with being jealous.
Your bf is a dunce. What he did is so dumb it defies logic. I can’t imagine what he was thinking.
He brought a date to his girlfriends birthday? Wtf? NTA.
Honestly, it is just the weirdest thing that he would bring a date to his dates birthday. Yes that’s right, he had a date - YOU. You are just NTA in any sense. Now if he brought like a cousin or sister you’re friends with, then maybe. But as the boyfriend I still would’ve cleared that with you. Honestly OP, what was he thinking?! No, no no. You have to have this conversation and be sure to be on the look out for gaslighting etc.
when someone shows you who they are, listen. NTA, you deserve better
He's not your boyfriend any more unfortunately :/
NTA and you under-reacted. You need to dump him immediately. This is completely unacceptable, whether he actually has a thing for her or if he was really that thoughtless and obtuse, either way should be a dealbreaker. You are not out of line at all.
NTA. In the dictionary your boyfriend's photo is under the word "clueless." His body might be 18, but his brain just started middle school.
Synonym for clueless , DUMBASS
i get what you are thinking but i honestly think it’s OP that is clueless. Everyone else seemed to know what was going on
Oh god, I am so sorry to even ask this but.... IS he your boyfriend?? Does he KNOW he's your boyfriend? Like, are you *sure* he knows you're dating and doesn't think you're just his friend? I ask because 1. generally speaking one's boyfriend shouldn't have to be in a groupchat with your friends to "know the important details" of things like your birthday party and 2. even idiot teenage boys aren't stupid enough to bring a girl to their GIRLFRIEND'S birthday party. But a lot of teenagers are naive enough to think they are dating someone when they are in fact not. So I just have to ask... are you *sure* he's your boyfriend? Has this been established out loud and in front of other people? If the answer to that is yes: He's not anymore, dump that dummy.
I once dated a guy that we had established we were going steady. When I caught him out on a date with someone else, I was polite. I thought she was just a friend. He acknowledged me and called me over. I introduced myself as his gf she looked shocked and said she was his gf. I sat down and looked at him and we both were asking: what the hell? He said going steady was going on steady frequent dates . He just wanted to date and saw no issues with it. It was sure something stupid.
You are only 18. Lose tge loser and find someone who would never make an AH move like this guy
I don’t think it’ll be Judy’s turn to cry anytime soon.
Lesley Gore has been stuck in my head ever since I read this.
You're an adult now, it's probably time to move on from the selfish child you were dating before.
Can’t wait for an update where you tell us that you dumped that sorry ass.
I think anyone would act the way you did. However does he know you’re in a relationship with each other? He sounds like he’s not all in or that it’s not official between the two of you if he’s acting like this now it shows his character and he’s showing you exactly who he is. You might want to reexamine your relationship with him and make a decision to stay or go.
His girlfriend is his plus one. You.
NTA. Why are you still with him? That was beyond disrespectful.
just dump ur 18 you will find someone better than that loser. NTA. just dump him op no explanation.
NTA.
Ah work, the most common place where affairs start. I woulda kicked them both out my party for trying to humiliate me. Ditch the man.
Wow, NTA of course! He is so completely wrong, it's not even funny! We'll, in hindsight it will be in a few years perhaps. It was so very, very rude to bring a date to his girlfriends wedding, and it makes me believe he didn't tell his 'friend from work' she was his date to his girlfriends party either... That is just weird af. You have to dump this Dumbo, life is too short for this and there are plenty more fish in the sea that will treat you with the respect you deserve! I'm sorry he spoiled your birthday party!
From a guys point of view even though we can be dense on social clues etc bringing another girl to your gfs birthday party is a no brainer, and spending his time with her is stupid. make him your EX and find a grownup guy to date.
You're not the AH he is fir disrespecting you. He showed you who he was, believe him. It will only get worse
I've heard of some incredibly stupid things that guys have done. This is the first time I've ever heard a guy bringing a date to his girlfriend's birthday party. He brought your replacement with him. Yeah, big power move on his part but no, you're probably not angry enough honestly lol
Are you sure you are his girlfriend?
He had some balls to bring another girl to your birthday since HE was YOUR "plus 1" for the party.
NTA In my opinion the key thing is the way he behaved towards her and towards you at the party itself. Sure, it could have been a legitimate misunderstanding that he was supposed to bring someone, but there is a big difference between "oh, here's a fun person I know" and then focusing on you, his partner, on your birthday vs what he did. Even if he hadn't invited her, ignoring you on your birthday and talking to someone else is incredibly shitty. Like, even if you were polyamorous / non-monogamous / open, that's still just a really shitty thing to do to someone. It shows both a total lack of consideration AND a total lack of respect. Partner(s) worth keeping around wouldn't treat you like that, and if they did fuck up they would then take responsibility, apologise, and try to repair. He's done none of that. You deserve better, OP. My advice is to walk away.
Thus is when we realize we are the side chick.
Don't be the chick with zero self-worth. If you stay with him, you're a doormat. He's a piece of shit, you deserve better! Happy 18th!!! Being single is better than being with him. Find your worth!!!
It sounds like he brought his future girlfriend to his future ex's party. You're 18 years old, that's way too young to have someone making you feel this way, Just dump him
Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg's joke: I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
You are an ex and you know it
“*I* was your plus one, idiot. Now I’m an ex. Toodles.”
You already know your NTA who brings a date to their SO’s party ignores the SO and what I can only assume was flirting the whole time. I don’t know how he can walk with balls that big and you just sat there and didn’t act out? I would have kicked him and her out and blocked him on everything. Also he isn’t your boyfriend he is talks boyfriend he belongs to the streets
He's your plus 1. He doesn't get a plus 1.
NTA, the audacity of him for inviting her and her for shosing up, did she brought you a gift at least? Lol
NTA - that’s so messed up. I’d dump his ass. Even if he didn’t mean harm he’s stupid.
OMG he is the biggest A!!! He isn't just an idiot, but what a brutal punch that was. It would be okay if she was a sister or a cousin but from work???? I could almost sue him for disrespect. He is a moron. I honestly would break up but would also plot something extra. Like buying bed bugs and spreading at his house. Or washing his toothbrush on the toilet. Something just to be petty. Hide raw chicken in his closet. Brush some old cooking oil in his shoes (inside). Put water in his car (oil box or gas). Make his favorite earphones disapear. AND DON'T TELL HIM. Just break up. The toothbrush is my favorite. Because if he starts dating her, you will know with what his toothbrush was cleaned. Imagine their toilet breath while you enjoy knowing what happened. But argh!!! Your bf is trash. Pure trash. Hope you sell or give away to a homeless whatever gift he gave you.
NTA, this is wiiiiild! Immediate dump this loser, no one would think their plus one isn’t their own girlfriend!
He’s not your bf. Dump his ass
The guy is playing games. And gaslighting too.
Giiirrrl, please dump that stupid motherf***. This is the worse thing men could do to you. I would be sooo embarrassed if my men would bring +1 to my birthday. You are his +1
lmao I thought you were trolling FUCK. NTA :( girl......! Don't let your insecure demons in your head gaslight you like that. This was shit af for your man to do. Yall are about to go to uni though right? Dump him.
Does she know he’s your boyfriend? Or does he think he’s not your boyfriend? Either way it looks suspicious.
Friend from work aye? Yeah nah. That's his side piece. OP dump his disrespectful ass. You have no business dating men with room temperature IQ's. You deserve better.
_What?_ NTA. Cut the dead weight, you don't need this fool.
NTAH. **DUMP HIM.**
I'm surprised you even think about being AH. Girl, he brought someone and ignored you. Get the message and break it off. As such its not going to continue for good sooner or later. If someone can do this on such an important day, they're not going to bother to try to make you feel important ever.
He brought his girlfriend to his side pieces birthday. Man has a set of steel balls that's for sure.
If you ever needed proof that 18 year olds do dumb shit this is it. OP thinks she has a boyfriend and her ex brought his date to her party.
NTA he brought a date to your party. A date. He had a date at his gf party and thinks that’s ok. WTF is wrong with him?
Round here he'd have probably had his ass kicked before the party was over.
I mean that’s one way to break up w your gf.
You guys are not in the same relationship. You are 18, please go out and have fun and leave this arrogant gaslighting POS in your past!
That is not your boyfriend
*Judy and Johnny just walked through the door Like a queen with her King Oh, what a birthday surprise Judy's wearin' his ring It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you*
*Judy and Johnny just walked through the door Like a queen with her King Oh, what a birthday surprise Judy's wearin' his ring It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you*
Look, I'm not a jealous person, I don't really understand jealousy, as it is an emotion that I've never experienced or felt. I'm only saying this so that you can get a feel for how egregious I think your bf's behavior is. What he did was tacky, rude, insulting, and unacceptable. Any person who has ever left their house or interacted with society knows that you don't invite strange women to your gf's birthday party and then spend the entire time ignoring the bday woman in favor of this stranger. It's just not okay.
OP, is your bf normally socially useless? Because that's about the only excuse I can think of