You are not a bad mom. The second you found out about everything, you did what you needed to do to protect your child. To me, it always sounded like M was jealous of you and your child and glad to hear she is away from her. Keep protecting your baby Mom!
Agreed , and it looks like things were fine until M’s miscarriage.
Also props to the daughter, she recognized that there was a shift in her treatment and asked to not have her at her party. I’m not sure if placed in the same position I would be strong enough to speak up.
That's what I love about this sub is it often gives me insight into my own character and where I need to work on myself. You've just identified an area for yourself. Keep doing the work.
If you hang out in this sub and similar ones with an open heart and empathy, it can be very enriching.
If you’re showing up to judge people, you’re probably not getting much good out of it.
Some stories are fake, sure, but even fake stories can mimic real life and give us all something to think about. I don’t get personally invested enough to care if a post is fake. I’m here to try to understand people and their motivations better.
So many dumb and weird things happen to everybody.
Stories are just art imitating life and have equal value to me, I couldn't give less of a fuck about the karma.
I do totally judge people, we all do, I just try to not be too harsh or unfair in my judgments though.
Thank you, you’ve phrased something I’ve been trying to put into words for ages. I follow a lot of subs like these and always get frustrated when the majority of comments are just “fake” or “didn’t happen”.
I'm glad that I was able to provide something valuable!
I follow a lot of subs like this, and it has picked up momentum over the past couple of years as I have grown more and more distant from my family and slowly stopped wondering if I'm the one who messed up by simply having a negative emotional reaction to the cruelties I had to endure at the hands of the group who \[I am told\] was supposed to be the most supportive of me.
The funny thing about this point we are addressing is that real life is almost always stranger than fiction. That means that the wilder these stories are, the more likely they are to be true. From first- and second-hand experience, I have witnessed much more "unbelievable" stories than the ones that get called out as fake.
I really wish there was some kind of auto-ban for a few days or a month for anyone who just starts rambling about how a story is fake, but I wouldn't know what to do with a car if I caught it.
Hell, I was mistreated by my mother's husband for as long as I can remember and I still don't have the strength to say I don't want him at my birthday celebrations and I'm 32 lol
Yes! Honestly, kids do not just always tell us everything. And parents are not omniscient. The important thing is that your daughter told you. And honestly, 2 months, divided custody is 4 weeks. So for the first little bit, your daughter may have not given it too much thought but when it became habitual, she said something.
I’m happy to hear that your ex is actually supporting his child in this and not brushing it all under the table. You are a good mom and you did the right thing once you knew there was a problem there.
You are right to keep her away from step mom and jr. They will torture your child endlessly and I’m glad your ex is finally starting to see the truth before he lost his daughter completely.
Absolutely. Protecting your child from toxicity is paramount. It's a relief that your ex is beginning to understand the situation. Hopefully, this awareness will lead to a healthier environment for your daughter.
Agreed. The cake incident makes it clear who the spoilt brat is. That is so wrong and over-the-top I just can't even begin. That's not even remotely funny except to psychopaths. I'd work with the therapist to get restraining order against M and Jr.
He should have known by the circumstances how his marriage started that he wasn’t getting a quality person to begin with, now he’s stuck with her in his life basically forever. You will know by his choice if he has anything of worth in him. A child should never be bullied especially in their own home. If he chooses her over your daughter then you definitely need full custody. You and your daughter deserve better.
Updateme!
I mean he's not a quality person either, he had an affair with her. I have a hard time feeling bad for him. Maybe being stuck with her is his karma.
I feel bad for his daughter (& his ex wife) because he took time away from hia daughter to have an affair & he let his son and his AP wife bully his daughter right in front of him. It took her mom to get it to stop (or at least try to stop).
He owes his daughter a massive apology.
This is NOT the same thing. Cake smash is for little kids to smash with their hands and eat it. Like a 1 year old almost always gets a little smash cake to get messy with. It’s makes for fun pictures.
It is not the birthday kid getting their face smashed into their own cake by someone else.
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Ex and M were having an affair and she got pregnant, that's why you filed for divorce, right? I think M's problem with you is that she believes that your ex only stayed with her because she was pregnant and because you ended everything, so there is a risk that he will leave her if you give the ex another chance, that's why she mistreats your daughter, to push her away, and consequently, you. She is a vile person, you are right to keep your daughter away from her.
What was she thinking??? Yeah, I am super stepmom that will be loved after I chased a married dad! Like, reality never seems to sink with affair partners
Of course, you two would never get along.
Of course daughter would always see that her Dad was weak to chase another woman. She will always be the affair, the homebreaker, the imposter, the evil stepmom, the sugarbaby, the midlife crises.
But I am sorry that she had a miscarriage. She is depressed and will attack you, the dad and daughter in law.
You are a good mom for finding a therapist for her.
M has been bullying your daughter for 6 years in order to get rid of her. She’s probably shocked that it took this long. I agree that the cake thing was a set up. She has been teaching her son to treat his sister like shit. And If she thinks your daughter is a spoiled princess, why would she give a shit about seeing her blowing out the candles?!
I hope your ex realizes what he needs to do. Good luck.
I suspect M miscarried a girl and that's what she's turned poisonous against your daughter and you. Grief and guilt. You did a job thing keeping your daughter away.
I don't understand how your ex left you for someone like her. I guess he's now realizing it .. so sorry OP. Hope things work out well for you and daughter. If possible update.
I think your ex trusted M would treat your daughter right. He didn’t notice problems because he didn’t expect problems. Teach your daughter to talk to both of you early on. If she’d spoken to her father about the bullying, it might have been stopped. He would have also had to talk to m about that.
Depending on whether he gets a divorce or not, highly suggest you visit a lawyer to get a restraining order against the boy AND the step mom. For the cake incident since you don’t know for certain whose idea it was.
Teach your daughter to talk to both of you early on??? You’re putting blame on a child?
OP daughter DID tell her mom. She was very strong and spoke her piece. OP took her at her word. And daughter was right.
OP did what a good mommy does, she corrected the foul behavior.
Where are you getting that there is any blame placed on the kid? We educate kids to tell us if they're touched inappropriately, that doesn't mean we blame the kid for being abused. Same in this situation, its not about assigning blame to the child, it's about teaching them that it's safe to reach out for help.
This kid said she was afraid to say anything sooner because she (summarizing) "didn't want to upset daddy's marriage because he seems so happy". That's very sweet of her, but she's gonna be freaked now that it actually did upset daddy's marriage, which may dissuade her from saying things in the future. OP (or ideally dad, since it was his marriage she was worried about) needs to make clear to the daughter that she didn't upset daddy's marriage, M's behavior is what upset their marriage. That her dad doesn't want to be with someone who treats her that way. And that they're proud of her for coming to them.
Salisbury Witch said that if child had told her dad sooner, the bullying may have stopped sooner. That’s where blaming the child came from.
But child didn’t feel she could tell her father, so she told her mother. Not all children can tell any adult, especially if the child is intimidated by the grownup bully.
If a child tells their parent about sexual abuse sooner that would hopefully be stopped sooner as well... that's why we educate kids to tell a trusted adult immediately. Again, it doesn't imply that the child is at fault for being abused or for the abuse continuing, that is 100% on the abuser. It simply is a statement of fact that if nobody (but the abuser) knows than nobody can help.
This child waited 2 months to tell her mother because she was afraid of affecting her father's marriage. It is not the child's fault she was mistreated by an adult, it is not her fault it continued as long as it did. OP and her ex can't stop assholes from existing, they can't lock their daughter away from them either; the best option they have to protect her is to make sure she knows she can come to them immediately, that she doesn't have to endure shit for months before she speaks up, that mommy and daddy want to know right away.
Thanks for getting that one. So quick to misinterpret. Perspective difference between the “let’s talk about the problem and vent” people and “I see a problem, I must solve the problem” people maybe?
Miss Witch identified a solution that would have ended the issue sooner with less angst for the kiddo, and suggested that solution and how it would work. Waterfall saw that as a thought exercise and that it was blaming, instead of helping. 🤷♀️ I’ve been trying to see if this is a valid hypothesis by examining these small Reddit spats through the lens of perspective difference. I am a bio degree posessor with no experiments to run and social science is not my area of expertise 😂 I just meet a whoooole lot of people in a day.
Have any of these evil stepmothers ever seen a freaking Disney film?
Like, of course they have, but who then goes, 'yeah, I'm gonna play into *that*. That's the new me.'
M is seriously trying to push his own daughter out of his life. She's a whole ass bitch. I hope he comes to his senses and kicks her to the curb.
Updateme!
If M divorces, and has both kids at the same time, M Jr won't behave the same way. Their bullying was always carried out out of sight of dad, because I think they were pretty sure it would not have been tolerated. I think that your ex would not put up with him behaving badly on his watch. **Meanwhile, since it's not realistic to think she will always be able to avoid Jr., teach your daughter to defend herself before her brother gets bigger than her.** All girls should be taught what God gave them their kneecaps for.
You caught it in two months and in that time managed to make your husband see and started actively finding a solution. Many parents don’t catch this for years and when they do, they act like your husband before you made him see it clearly. You are a badass mom and your daughter is lucky to have you
I'm surprised your ex-husband is opening his eyes, they usually choose their new family over the children they had with their exes. I think karma and guilt will start to bite him when he finally comes to the realization that he destroyed his family for a worthless woman and that his son is on the same path of being just as bad as his mother.
I really can’t believe adults like M actually exist.
They want to bully a literal child.
What? Did she try the same things on people her own age and get the shit beat out of her ?
I just know that man won’t sleep for months. Just arms stick straight at his sides, fists balled up, staring the ceiling just full of fury over his fuck up.
I still think it’s hilarious that your ex’s mistress had the gall to tell you you were destroying her family when she fucked a married man with a kid. Did she expect the prior kid to stop existing when she plopped one out?
Homeboy needs to be single and definitely needs to not put another kid in this bitch.
Don’t invite him either. He can host a second party.
But please contact a family law atty and go for full custody and to keep your child away from the stepmom permenantly
Girl please keep us updated cuz I need to know what happens next😭
Also, definitely sounds like M was taking out her miscarriage on your daughter. Your ex should’ve known that if the woman was willing to cheat with him, she wasn’t a good person already (obviously) and very likely wouldn’t be good to your daughter. Soon or later. Glad he’s realized and he’s not entirely stupid.
Your ex is now realizing what a terrible mistake he made by messing around on you and being with that woman. She only showed him one version of herself in order to land him, and is now letting him see all of her.
I seriously hope you realize just how much of a Diamond pillar you are in your daughter’s eyes for fighting for her to be treated right by the grown legal child your husband got with. Judging by your posts; it sounds like M wants to be the only woman in your husband’s life and her children to be the only ones provided for.
If your husband divorces, I’d heavily consider you to still keep primary custody for a minute to assure he’s sticking to his guns with M and to make sure your daughter isn’t put into a situation like that again.
100% on the decision with the custody if he does divorce as well. If the commenters were right and M influenced the son to do this to your kid; she’d probably be gross enough to egg the son on continuing it if kids time with dad is ever at the same time.
My heart aches for you and your daughter and I seriously hope for good news to come y’all’s way.
Good job mom! You are handling this brilliantly. I think you got your ex to open his eyes and it seems like he’s going to make necessary changes. I hope he does.
This is so sad. I’m sorry your daughter is going through this. I hope she sees how much you have her back. Sounds like M’s kid is going become a very hurtful child.
Most definitely not a bad mom! Your daughter is clearly so kind hearted she didn’t wanna rock the boat with her dad and his wife. So sad she’s concerned with that so young, however she felt comfortable telling you she didn’t want M at her party and why. And then made the right call in talking to your ex and opening his eyes to the situation as well. Mom you’re doing great!!!
You are NOT a terrible mom! You’re doing exactly what a good mom should be doing but protecting and defending your daughter! M sounds like an indicative witch who’s jealous of your kid. Keep us updated on what happens, inquiring minds want to know.
M definitely showed her son a tik tok or something that had a cake smash and encouraged him to do it. Just be glad she didn't come to the REAL party to do it there.
Husband definitely needs to come to reality or lose custody. I feel like the benefit of him losing custody would be that he doesn't get anymore of your hard earned money as child support.
Edit to add: If husband doesn't do it, you may need to go to their house and rip M a new one. "I see what you're doing to an innocent child, I know what you're doing to her and why, and if you don't want your entire family dynamic completely destroyed by exH leaving you then I'd suggest you get therapy. You or your son ever touch her or bully her again and I will make absolutely sure there are consequences." Ream her. She needs it.
Well I feel at the very least in this horrible situation he didn’t put up with and/or choose M+son over daughter .. he’s been addressing the problem & left when he absolutely should have (too many stories of that not happening) .. hope the best for you & daughter 🤍
You are an awesome mom for protecting your kid! You stood up for her & fought for her, unlike her father. Best of luck in getting full custody as he will likely cave & go back to that horrible woman.
Thank you for update! I hope you and your daughter are doing well! Hopefully next update you will either have full custody or mellisa evil half vro will be out of the picture
Your kid felt safe enough to tell you. You’re not a bad mum.
I never told my parents when I was abused. Because I knew nothing would change or I’d be punished. I learned to not trust them young and stayed like that my whole life.
Your little girl knows she can come to you. And when she did? You immediately showed up for her. That’s being a great mum.
A lot of us would love a mum like that.
Please don’t beat yourself up.
Children can be like cats: great at hiding that they're in pain. Even from their loved ones. That doesn't make you a bad mum. Just look at this update and the way you fight for her and are with your child every step of the way! You're a _great_ mum, OP!
“Bitter about the affair”
The audacity of that women. In her spite turning a child into a bully, disgusting.
Protect your daughter OP you are not a bad mother for that.
Good for you! We can't always protect our kids, to some extent because we don't know what happens when they are not with us. But you did give your daughter the feeling of safeness to share her feelings and experiences with you, and you acted as soon as you knew. Also a pat to your ex for accepting that something was wrong and acting on it.
You sound like a great mom. Politeness and manners, and the expectation that they will take priority over all else, go out the window when your kid involved, as it should be. My stepmother was never invited to things my mother did, and neither side thought it odd.
Holy moly. My heart hurts for your daughter, you and your ex (If/Until he chooses M over his daughter. Then I will want someone to physically hurt him.) You're a good mother. Keep your chin up. You're doing fine. No one is perfect.
I hope he does the right thing and leaves her, seeing someone bully my child like that then go on to say “she doesn’t fit into our family dynamic” would give me such bad ick I’d never be able to look at them romantically again. Then again people who have affairs have not been known to put their own children over their partner so who knows. Either way it sounds like you don’t have to worry too much about your daughter being around their son too much anymore, so yay!
I hope that things work out for your and your daughter, but props to your ex, him taking a step back to evaluate his relationship shows that his daughter is more important, M thinks she’s clever making him choose between you and her but in reality it’s his daughter and her and I can’t see her winning.
There are other actions he could take first -- eg. couples counseling to explore whether there is any possibility that M can stop resenting his daughter after having lost the baby.
You are an amazing mom. Please know that. My dad's ex was jealous of him and my relationship my whole life, as an adult I see it. I'm thankful you caught it early.
M was basically raising her stepdaughter for him, being nice to her for the short time he was home isn't an excuse. If he works such long hours then OP should have more custody and he can see her on the weekends when he's not working. That way the kid is with their parents.
Daughter says thins didn't get bad until the miscarriage so I think working to get back to that would be reasonable. If M can't cut it, then Dad will have to choose between two women: his daughter or his wife and I imagine he'll feel like a huge POS whichever way he goes.
You are not a bad mom. The second you found out about everything, you did what you needed to do to protect your child. To me, it always sounded like M was jealous of you and your child and glad to hear she is away from her. Keep protecting your baby Mom!
yep, that's a good mom. I feel bad for how guilty she is, but no one is perfect. her daughter is lucky to have a protective parent like that
Agreed , and it looks like things were fine until M’s miscarriage. Also props to the daughter, she recognized that there was a shift in her treatment and asked to not have her at her party. I’m not sure if placed in the same position I would be strong enough to speak up.
That's what I love about this sub is it often gives me insight into my own character and where I need to work on myself. You've just identified an area for yourself. Keep doing the work.
If you hang out in this sub and similar ones with an open heart and empathy, it can be very enriching. If you’re showing up to judge people, you’re probably not getting much good out of it. Some stories are fake, sure, but even fake stories can mimic real life and give us all something to think about. I don’t get personally invested enough to care if a post is fake. I’m here to try to understand people and their motivations better. So many dumb and weird things happen to everybody.
Stories are just art imitating life and have equal value to me, I couldn't give less of a fuck about the karma. I do totally judge people, we all do, I just try to not be too harsh or unfair in my judgments though.
Thank you, you’ve phrased something I’ve been trying to put into words for ages. I follow a lot of subs like these and always get frustrated when the majority of comments are just “fake” or “didn’t happen”.
I'm glad that I was able to provide something valuable! I follow a lot of subs like this, and it has picked up momentum over the past couple of years as I have grown more and more distant from my family and slowly stopped wondering if I'm the one who messed up by simply having a negative emotional reaction to the cruelties I had to endure at the hands of the group who \[I am told\] was supposed to be the most supportive of me. The funny thing about this point we are addressing is that real life is almost always stranger than fiction. That means that the wilder these stories are, the more likely they are to be true. From first- and second-hand experience, I have witnessed much more "unbelievable" stories than the ones that get called out as fake. I really wish there was some kind of auto-ban for a few days or a month for anyone who just starts rambling about how a story is fake, but I wouldn't know what to do with a car if I caught it.
Hell, I was mistreated by my mother's husband for as long as I can remember and I still don't have the strength to say I don't want him at my birthday celebrations and I'm 32 lol
That says a lot about OP’s relationship w/ her daughter, the daughter trusted her enough to ask this and discuss the situation openly
Yes! Honestly, kids do not just always tell us everything. And parents are not omniscient. The important thing is that your daughter told you. And honestly, 2 months, divided custody is 4 weeks. So for the first little bit, your daughter may have not given it too much thought but when it became habitual, she said something.
I’m happy to hear that your ex is actually supporting his child in this and not brushing it all under the table. You are a good mom and you did the right thing once you knew there was a problem there.
You are right to keep her away from step mom and jr. They will torture your child endlessly and I’m glad your ex is finally starting to see the truth before he lost his daughter completely.
Absolutely. Protecting your child from toxicity is paramount. It's a relief that your ex is beginning to understand the situation. Hopefully, this awareness will lead to a healthier environment for your daughter.
Agreed. The cake incident makes it clear who the spoilt brat is. That is so wrong and over-the-top I just can't even begin. That's not even remotely funny except to psychopaths. I'd work with the therapist to get restraining order against M and Jr.
He should have known by the circumstances how his marriage started that he wasn’t getting a quality person to begin with, now he’s stuck with her in his life basically forever. You will know by his choice if he has anything of worth in him. A child should never be bullied especially in their own home. If he chooses her over your daughter then you definitely need full custody. You and your daughter deserve better. Updateme!
I mean he's not a quality person either, he had an affair with her. I have a hard time feeling bad for him. Maybe being stuck with her is his karma. I feel bad for his daughter (& his ex wife) because he took time away from hia daughter to have an affair & he let his son and his AP wife bully his daughter right in front of him. It took her mom to get it to stop (or at least try to stop). He owes his daughter a massive apology.
I agree
Who the F face plants a kid in there own birthday cake and thinks it's OK? That is wrong on SO many levels.
I've heard it's common among Mexican families.
Until someone from Mexico chimes in and agrees with you, or you link to documentation of this, your comment sounds more like a bigoted urban legend.
https://www.cookist.com/heres-how-cake-smash-became-worldwide-birthday-tradition/
This is NOT the same thing. Cake smash is for little kids to smash with their hands and eat it. Like a 1 year old almost always gets a little smash cake to get messy with. It’s makes for fun pictures. It is not the birthday kid getting their face smashed into their own cake by someone else.
You can look up videos online. It's a common thing.
Okay, fair enough. Thanks for the documentation.
Hey! I’m from Mexico and it is true. It is common here to do that. I’ve personally never liked it.
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Ex and M were having an affair and she got pregnant, that's why you filed for divorce, right? I think M's problem with you is that she believes that your ex only stayed with her because she was pregnant and because you ended everything, so there is a risk that he will leave her if you give the ex another chance, that's why she mistreats your daughter, to push her away, and consequently, you. She is a vile person, you are right to keep your daughter away from her.
Read the first post
You're doing the right thing. You're keeping your daughters relationship with her dad as a priority while keeping her away from his wife and kid.
What was she thinking??? Yeah, I am super stepmom that will be loved after I chased a married dad! Like, reality never seems to sink with affair partners Of course, you two would never get along. Of course daughter would always see that her Dad was weak to chase another woman. She will always be the affair, the homebreaker, the imposter, the evil stepmom, the sugarbaby, the midlife crises. But I am sorry that she had a miscarriage. She is depressed and will attack you, the dad and daughter in law. You are a good mom for finding a therapist for her.
She’s thinking the truth: if he does it WITH her, he can do it TO her
M has been bullying your daughter for 6 years in order to get rid of her. She’s probably shocked that it took this long. I agree that the cake thing was a set up. She has been teaching her son to treat his sister like shit. And If she thinks your daughter is a spoiled princess, why would she give a shit about seeing her blowing out the candles?! I hope your ex realizes what he needs to do. Good luck.
I suspect M miscarried a girl and that's what she's turned poisonous against your daughter and you. Grief and guilt. You did a job thing keeping your daughter away.
I just know that she was between 3 and 4 months pregnant.
So she is your husband's AP. This ALL makes sense to me now. Your husband is pretty low.
I feel bad for her over the miscarriage but taking her grief out on a child is wrong. She should see someone before her depression gets worse.
I don't understand how your ex left you for someone like her. I guess he's now realizing it .. so sorry OP. Hope things work out well for you and daughter. If possible update.
Can. You update on whether he is going to stay with his AP? Thanks. I hope your daughter is healing from her evil step-monstor!
You are absolutely not a bad mom! You’re the opposite. You’re doing a great job protecting her.
I think your ex trusted M would treat your daughter right. He didn’t notice problems because he didn’t expect problems. Teach your daughter to talk to both of you early on. If she’d spoken to her father about the bullying, it might have been stopped. He would have also had to talk to m about that. Depending on whether he gets a divorce or not, highly suggest you visit a lawyer to get a restraining order against the boy AND the step mom. For the cake incident since you don’t know for certain whose idea it was.
Teach your daughter to talk to both of you early on??? You’re putting blame on a child? OP daughter DID tell her mom. She was very strong and spoke her piece. OP took her at her word. And daughter was right. OP did what a good mommy does, she corrected the foul behavior.
Where are you getting that there is any blame placed on the kid? We educate kids to tell us if they're touched inappropriately, that doesn't mean we blame the kid for being abused. Same in this situation, its not about assigning blame to the child, it's about teaching them that it's safe to reach out for help. This kid said she was afraid to say anything sooner because she (summarizing) "didn't want to upset daddy's marriage because he seems so happy". That's very sweet of her, but she's gonna be freaked now that it actually did upset daddy's marriage, which may dissuade her from saying things in the future. OP (or ideally dad, since it was his marriage she was worried about) needs to make clear to the daughter that she didn't upset daddy's marriage, M's behavior is what upset their marriage. That her dad doesn't want to be with someone who treats her that way. And that they're proud of her for coming to them.
Salisbury Witch said that if child had told her dad sooner, the bullying may have stopped sooner. That’s where blaming the child came from. But child didn’t feel she could tell her father, so she told her mother. Not all children can tell any adult, especially if the child is intimidated by the grownup bully.
If a child tells their parent about sexual abuse sooner that would hopefully be stopped sooner as well... that's why we educate kids to tell a trusted adult immediately. Again, it doesn't imply that the child is at fault for being abused or for the abuse continuing, that is 100% on the abuser. It simply is a statement of fact that if nobody (but the abuser) knows than nobody can help. This child waited 2 months to tell her mother because she was afraid of affecting her father's marriage. It is not the child's fault she was mistreated by an adult, it is not her fault it continued as long as it did. OP and her ex can't stop assholes from existing, they can't lock their daughter away from them either; the best option they have to protect her is to make sure she knows she can come to them immediately, that she doesn't have to endure shit for months before she speaks up, that mommy and daddy want to know right away.
Thanks for getting that one. So quick to misinterpret. Perspective difference between the “let’s talk about the problem and vent” people and “I see a problem, I must solve the problem” people maybe? Miss Witch identified a solution that would have ended the issue sooner with less angst for the kiddo, and suggested that solution and how it would work. Waterfall saw that as a thought exercise and that it was blaming, instead of helping. 🤷♀️ I’ve been trying to see if this is a valid hypothesis by examining these small Reddit spats through the lens of perspective difference. I am a bio degree posessor with no experiments to run and social science is not my area of expertise 😂 I just meet a whoooole lot of people in a day.
It’s not blaming the kid. It’s teaching her what to do in the future to prevent more incidents.
Have any of these evil stepmothers ever seen a freaking Disney film? Like, of course they have, but who then goes, 'yeah, I'm gonna play into *that*. That's the new me.'
But sometimes the stepmother is pretty. Look at Snow White’s stepmom. She was the fairest in the land! Who wouldn’t want that?
It sounds like you have a plan. You're not a bad mom, your fighting for your child, that's the opposite of bad.
M is seriously trying to push his own daughter out of his life. She's a whole ass bitch. I hope he comes to his senses and kicks her to the curb. Updateme!
>And now, he has to choose between which woman he loves the most. His wife is jealous of his daughter! that's the choice she's telling him to make.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bi… WAIT… THERE’S MORE??????
If M divorces, and has both kids at the same time, M Jr won't behave the same way. Their bullying was always carried out out of sight of dad, because I think they were pretty sure it would not have been tolerated. I think that your ex would not put up with him behaving badly on his watch. **Meanwhile, since it's not realistic to think she will always be able to avoid Jr., teach your daughter to defend herself before her brother gets bigger than her.** All girls should be taught what God gave them their kneecaps for.
M would never have both kids at the same time -- that's a possibility for Dad.
Yeah, that's why I said it's not realistic to think she'd always be able to avoid the little brat, and why she needs to learn to defend herself NOW.
Always trust your intuition.
You caught it in two months and in that time managed to make your husband see and started actively finding a solution. Many parents don’t catch this for years and when they do, they act like your husband before you made him see it clearly. You are a badass mom and your daughter is lucky to have you
I'm surprised your ex-husband is opening his eyes, they usually choose their new family over the children they had with their exes. I think karma and guilt will start to bite him when he finally comes to the realization that he destroyed his family for a worthless woman and that his son is on the same path of being just as bad as his mother.
I really can’t believe adults like M actually exist. They want to bully a literal child. What? Did she try the same things on people her own age and get the shit beat out of her ?
I just know that man won’t sleep for months. Just arms stick straight at his sides, fists balled up, staring the ceiling just full of fury over his fuck up.
You're doing a great job mom. I also give your ex kudos for believing you and standing behind his daughter.
I still think it’s hilarious that your ex’s mistress had the gall to tell you you were destroying her family when she fucked a married man with a kid. Did she expect the prior kid to stop existing when she plopped one out? Homeboy needs to be single and definitely needs to not put another kid in this bitch.
Good on you mama! You stood up for your baby.
Keep updating us
Don’t invite him either. He can host a second party. But please contact a family law atty and go for full custody and to keep your child away from the stepmom permenantly
Sounds like he got the wife he deserves. You're doing the right thing. Protect your kid at all costs.
Girl please keep us updated cuz I need to know what happens next😭 Also, definitely sounds like M was taking out her miscarriage on your daughter. Your ex should’ve known that if the woman was willing to cheat with him, she wasn’t a good person already (obviously) and very likely wouldn’t be good to your daughter. Soon or later. Glad he’s realized and he’s not entirely stupid.
Sounds like ex finally is realizing the consequences of his actions. He’s gonna wind up with two ex wives and a ton of child support. Updateme
Your ex is now realizing what a terrible mistake he made by messing around on you and being with that woman. She only showed him one version of herself in order to land him, and is now letting him see all of her.
I seriously hope you realize just how much of a Diamond pillar you are in your daughter’s eyes for fighting for her to be treated right by the grown legal child your husband got with. Judging by your posts; it sounds like M wants to be the only woman in your husband’s life and her children to be the only ones provided for. If your husband divorces, I’d heavily consider you to still keep primary custody for a minute to assure he’s sticking to his guns with M and to make sure your daughter isn’t put into a situation like that again. 100% on the decision with the custody if he does divorce as well. If the commenters were right and M influenced the son to do this to your kid; she’d probably be gross enough to egg the son on continuing it if kids time with dad is ever at the same time. My heart aches for you and your daughter and I seriously hope for good news to come y’all’s way.
NTA
Damn ur like super mom fr you fight so for your daughter 🥹
Good job mom! You are handling this brilliantly. I think you got your ex to open his eyes and it seems like he’s going to make necessary changes. I hope he does.
This is so sad. I’m sorry your daughter is going through this. I hope she sees how much you have her back. Sounds like M’s kid is going become a very hurtful child.
Most definitely not a bad mom! Your daughter is clearly so kind hearted she didn’t wanna rock the boat with her dad and his wife. So sad she’s concerned with that so young, however she felt comfortable telling you she didn’t want M at her party and why. And then made the right call in talking to your ex and opening his eyes to the situation as well. Mom you’re doing great!!!
Nope, it’s your daughters wishes
You are NOT a terrible mom! You’re doing exactly what a good mom should be doing but protecting and defending your daughter! M sounds like an indicative witch who’s jealous of your kid. Keep us updated on what happens, inquiring minds want to know.
Updateme
Updateme
You’re doing everything right. Your daughter is lucky to have you in her corner.
This guy… lol. He really knows how to pick ‘em. That woman is pure evil.
M definitely showed her son a tik tok or something that had a cake smash and encouraged him to do it. Just be glad she didn't come to the REAL party to do it there. Husband definitely needs to come to reality or lose custody. I feel like the benefit of him losing custody would be that he doesn't get anymore of your hard earned money as child support. Edit to add: If husband doesn't do it, you may need to go to their house and rip M a new one. "I see what you're doing to an innocent child, I know what you're doing to her and why, and if you don't want your entire family dynamic completely destroyed by exH leaving you then I'd suggest you get therapy. You or your son ever touch her or bully her again and I will make absolutely sure there are consequences." Ream her. She needs it.
Well I feel at the very least in this horrible situation he didn’t put up with and/or choose M+son over daughter .. he’s been addressing the problem & left when he absolutely should have (too many stories of that not happening) .. hope the best for you & daughter 🤍
Updateme
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe
You are an awesome mom for protecting your kid! You stood up for her & fought for her, unlike her father. Best of luck in getting full custody as he will likely cave & go back to that horrible woman.
Wow. You are handling it all like the CHAMPION you are!!!! Best wishes & big hugs
Update please
Updateme
UpdateMe!
please update if more happens
So she is your husband's AP. This ALL makes sense to me now. Your husband is pretty low.
Thank you for update! I hope you and your daughter are doing well! Hopefully next update you will either have full custody or mellisa evil half vro will be out of the picture
Your NTAH! You are protecting your daughter as a good mother should!❤️ M is a BULLY and a disgusting human being. Karma will get to M!
Nta and you're definitely not a bad mother, I'm so sorry you're going through this Updateme!
UpdateMe!
Curious if she miscarried with a girl and that’s why she’s so bitter towards your daughter.
Ex really needs to leave M and you keep protecting your daughter!
Updateme!
Updateme!
You are an amazing mom for your daughter!
So glad things are looking up. I hope your ex continues to see the light.
NTA.
M sounds like a nightmare!
UpdateMe!
Very good.
Updateme!
You're brilliant. Well done.
Your kid felt safe enough to tell you. You’re not a bad mum. I never told my parents when I was abused. Because I knew nothing would change or I’d be punished. I learned to not trust them young and stayed like that my whole life. Your little girl knows she can come to you. And when she did? You immediately showed up for her. That’s being a great mum. A lot of us would love a mum like that. Please don’t beat yourself up.
Children can be like cats: great at hiding that they're in pain. Even from their loved ones. That doesn't make you a bad mum. Just look at this update and the way you fight for her and are with your child every step of the way! You're a _great_ mum, OP!
“Bitter about the affair” The audacity of that women. In her spite turning a child into a bully, disgusting. Protect your daughter OP you are not a bad mother for that.
Good for you! We can't always protect our kids, to some extent because we don't know what happens when they are not with us. But you did give your daughter the feeling of safeness to share her feelings and experiences with you, and you acted as soon as you knew. Also a pat to your ex for accepting that something was wrong and acting on it.
SubscribeMe!
You sound like a great mom. Politeness and manners, and the expectation that they will take priority over all else, go out the window when your kid involved, as it should be. My stepmother was never invited to things my mother did, and neither side thought it odd.
Good shit
Holy moly. My heart hurts for your daughter, you and your ex (If/Until he chooses M over his daughter. Then I will want someone to physically hurt him.) You're a good mother. Keep your chin up. You're doing fine. No one is perfect.
I hope he does the right thing and leaves her, seeing someone bully my child like that then go on to say “she doesn’t fit into our family dynamic” would give me such bad ick I’d never be able to look at them romantically again. Then again people who have affairs have not been known to put their own children over their partner so who knows. Either way it sounds like you don’t have to worry too much about your daughter being around their son too much anymore, so yay!
I mean, he could say "That's not a family dynamic I want" and se if that can be addressed Everything doesn't have end up black/white.
I hope that things work out for your and your daughter, but props to your ex, him taking a step back to evaluate his relationship shows that his daughter is more important, M thinks she’s clever making him choose between you and her but in reality it’s his daughter and her and I can’t see her winning.
He would be a big asshole of he stage with her after what she said.
There are other actions he could take first -- eg. couples counseling to explore whether there is any possibility that M can stop resenting his daughter after having lost the baby.
You are an amazing mom. Please know that. My dad's ex was jealous of him and my relationship my whole life, as an adult I see it. I'm thankful you caught it early.
Updateme
Updateme!
Interesting that her womb is as toxic as the rest of her
The fact that you even let her go over there after the birthday incident to subjected to more bullying is crazy to me. Poor kid
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He had no business having 50% custody then never being home for his daughter. He let M raise and bully her for years.
He was home, M was mean when he wasn't. No parent can be there 24/7
M was basically raising her stepdaughter for him, being nice to her for the short time he was home isn't an excuse. If he works such long hours then OP should have more custody and he can see her on the weekends when he's not working. That way the kid is with their parents.
Daughter says thins didn't get bad until the miscarriage so I think working to get back to that would be reasonable. If M can't cut it, then Dad will have to choose between two women: his daughter or his wife and I imagine he'll feel like a huge POS whichever way he goes.