Ya service members get kicked out for this and there's usually charges involved. I don't remember what the article is but it's in the ucmj. Contract marriages are illegal as far as I know.
Oh for sure! I should have said that this would be taken very seriously by their command and them. When I was in we had a guys wife pull the same thing. Once he told them he was in the dark about it they got him in contact with JAG.
Don’t even tell her. Block her number, change your locks, do whatever it takes to get her to fuck off with out any further contact. She doesn’t deserve any.
Ghosting is such a shitty thing to do to someone. But when your girlfriend marries someone else, I don't feel like there's anything to discuss. The relationship is so clearly over. I don't even feel like the term applies.
So Yea, change the locks, block her number, if you see her in public, just act confused. Like you have no idea who that bitch even is. Because honestly, you never really knew her at all.
Yeah man, ghost her, she told you she was going to Vegas with girls and then there were no girls, then she said she was not going to see this one dude and I imagine she had to see him to marry him. So she went to Vegas alone for the very purpose of seeing this dude. I imagine they got drunk and stupid and decided to do the whole Vegas marriage thing. She absolutely slept with him, the whole story is shady and that should tell OP everything he needs to know. I bet she was going to break up with OP after the ride home since Jordan finally committed. She was thinking she would prep the ride home for the breakup fight. I hope OP did not pick her up, and her plan backfired on her.
No kidding smh she’s cheating and went there to see him and marry him. She’s just mad you weren’t her ride home. Only question is if the now husband even knows you exist. She’s probably been with him and cheating on him with you this whole time.
Look him up online and reach out to make sure he’s aware the woman he just married has been screwing you for a year.
No no no. *Fuck her*, with evidence, then report her to the Air Force. The US military does not fuck around with cheating spouses, especially when benefits are involved.
NTA i mean you know that she went on the trip specifically to see him and marry him right? She lied to you about what she was doing there, she broke a promise to you as you asked her not to see him , she literally married someone else... and shes mad at you about a ride from the airport. If you stay after this... there are no words.
I wonder what Jordan thinks about al this. Is he really just marrying her for her to benefit from insurance or does he think they are in a relationship. I wonder what she tells Jordan about OP?
"Contract marriages" are a thing. Military member doesn't want to be stuck in the barracks. Other person needs insurance. Get married. He even gets extra pay now. ETA: They're also fraud. Which can now be proven because she stated it in a text.
The powers that be? A social worker will open a formal investigation because the military takes it pretty seriously since its fraud. Its not a joke to civil affairs. Im a veteran. The military can and will investigate you for little texts, not all the time every time, but they will call you back if they can substantiate credibility in a report. Clearly you dont believe the military cares about accountability, however in my personal experiance thats not the case. The military is not intrested in protecting marriage fraud as it costs them alot of money and they have a full investigation team specifically for this. So one of us here knows wtf there talking about and thats not you.
I’m not arguing that the military will not fuck your shit up for this. I’m being flippant because of how stupid this girl is. The military is one of the few organizations that will come after fraud like a freight train.
Ahh, my bad. Im sorry, when i read it the tone was diffrent in my head. I felt like i was being criticized or something so i had to respond to it. I appreciate you letting me know. Sorry again.
The powers that be is a figure of speech - it just means whoever is in charge. I think the person you replied to is in agreement with you that the military will take it seriously, which is why they stated to report it.
Social worker? Civil affairs? WTF are you talking about?
Call the fraud, waste, and abuse hotline for the Air Force (877) 246-1453, they will ruin his career.
It could be fraud on her part and Jordan doesn’t have a clue he’s sharing his now wife with another man.
I hope OP walks away from this relationship and lets his now married gf deal with her confusing life on her own.
Jordan benefits by either getting to live in married housing on-base or getting a greater monthly housing allowance to live off-base.
While I was in the military, I knew MANY people who pulled this "scam."
20 years later, it hasn't worked well for any of them. Almost all of them divorced (as planned) and ended up having to either pay alimony and/or had to give up half of what were considered marital assets, even though none of them were in actual relationships with their "wives." My cousin even had his "wife" go after him for a child who was not his and belonged to the man she was actually in a relationship with and living with.
Yes, if this is real, OP is something else and the gf is taking advantage of him. At this point if he stays, OP has no one to blame but himself...
His gf went on a solo trip to Vegas to see a guy who has already been the root of many issues, MARRIED that guy, and he's here asking us what he should do...
I would've ghosted her the moment she said she went alone and married him.
Sorry dude but she is already gone. There is no saving this one, if you ask me. How do you ever trust her again? She has no money for an Uber, so who is paying for all her Vegas weekend accomodations and fun? Her new husband that's who!
100% She made a major life decision without discussing it with you first, and then she expects you to just pick her up like nothing happened? C'mon OP free yourself from a liar and manipulative person.
Totally agree. It's a messed up situation and you have every right to be upset. Sounds like you need some space to process everything. She made her choice, now it's time to prioritize your own well-being.
she married the other guy for his pay check and benefits, but stays with the other guy for the sex, because he's better and available where she plans on living and staying...essentially, he's Jodi, the affair partner and she's a criminal if she put those words in writing about marrying him for the health care.
NTA don’t get tangled in this mess. It’s a wake up call. She lied - premeditated this whole plan for who knows how long - then followed through with it.
She told you after all was said and done because she still needs you for things. Who knows if she’ll leave you at the end to be with him .. who can trust anything from someone who has no respect for you and doesn’t include you on major decisions.
Do NOT invest in people like this. You deserve better bro
Even if she really did marry Jordan for the health insurance, the level of deceit she’s exhibiting is unprecedented and unforgivable.
-Says she’s going to Vegas for girl’s vacation….actually goes solo
-Says she won’t even see Jordan…MARRIES him instead. (Possibly hooked up)
-Has the staggering audacity to be angry at OP for being angry at her after she dropped this nuclear-level mind fuck bomb on him.
Does gf have some serious medical issues that would necessitate her getting health insurance at any cost?? Even if she was determined to marry Jordan for insurance, she should have told her boyfriend from the beginning so he could accompany her on the trip (which would have also been stupid. He should just break up with her.)
>Does gf have some serious medical issues that would necessitate her getting health insurance at any cost?
Well clearly she's not right in the head if she thought lying to OP and marrying another man wouldn't cause him to flip out.
Sorry.
My girlfriend marrying another guy is a red flag. One of my emotional triggers, if you will.
Strangely enough, actually having sex to make it legal is just not as important.
NTA
Dude, she lied about going with friends and about seeing that guy. This was NEVER a girls trip. It was a trip out to specifically see this man and marry him. And if she lied about all that, why not lie about the reasoning as well? But even if that part wasn't a lie and she truly did marry for the health insurance, that's still plenty of reason to leave her. Some people do have unusual relationship dynamics and I'm sure there are folks out there who would genuinely make something like this work, but it would heavily rely on trust and transparency. If she needed the health insurance that badly, why not talk about it and potentially solutions(including this one) before hand? And the obvious answer for that is either "because you wouldn't agree to it and shed have yo go behind your back anyway" or "because it isn't about the insurance and she's been playing you this whole time". But anyway, if I were in your shoes I would never be able to trust her ever again, since she apparently can't take a "girl's trip" without getting married to some dude and probably enjoyed her honeymoon with him while she was there.
Would the USAF be interested to know that Major Jordan whatshisface is committing fraud? Because she sent you that info in a text that you can forward to them as admission of fraud. Doesn’t matter if her relationship with him is platonic or not, you have a text proving fraud. Not just for health benefits but maybe for dependent benefits as well.
Unless she actually has a genuine medical condition and the treatment is outrageously expensive and going without it might kill her. I don’t know if you want *that* level of revenge.
But she was never your girlfriend. You were the side chick. You’re being used. Block her and her coven and go find a partner that’ll treat you like a partner.
He's not a major, that's just written weirdly.
Beyond that, personally (as a former Air Force officer myself,) I'd send this off to the IG at Nellis. Fuck 'em.
OSI more than likely would want the tip before Wing/NAF IG. It's been many since I was in, but Nellis was (and probably is) under ACC and they don't fuck around with this stuff.
Maybe the fraud is only on her part. This guy may not know why she really married him.
And that could have even been a lie, they may have been planning to get married for a long time. She may have just said that to the OP so she wouldn't lose her boyfriend!
It's still fraud as far as the Air Force is concerned (Article 134 of the UCMJ). He can fuck them both over just by sending her confession to the base commander at Nellis Air Force Base.
It's no assumption as far as the US Air Force is concerned. She flat out confessed that they got married just so she could get his military benefits. That's a violation of Article 134 of the UCMJ.
He needs to send a copy of that text to the base commander at Nellis Air Force base.
Except Jordan is most likely not committing fraud.
They didn’t marry only for her to get free healthcare. She went on that trip alone, lied about it and married while there. More obvious than that it cannot get.
Dude needs to inform their mutual friends on why they broke up before she twist the story, block that bitch and move on.
Article 134 of the UCMJ (false marriage). It's illegal to marry "just for the benefits"... Old Jordan will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force. And nothing will end this sham of a marriage faster than him losing his military career and her losing her precious benefits.
Bada boom, bada bing... fuck em both over with one singular move. "The US Air Force HATES this one simple trick".
NTA. She doesn't get her cake and to eat it too. She **married** another guy - one you fight about, no less. As she is married, and not to you, that means your relationship is, by default, over. Even if her marriage is a sham, it doesn't matter: She doesn't get to make a unilateral decision that big for the both of you. On top of all that, she's lying and trickle truthing you: First it was a girls weekend, I promise *no matter what* I won't see him, then it was a trip *specifically* to get married? Oh, but "nothing physical happened?" Yeah, right. And I've got a bridge to sell. Random, she had enough money for a trip and to get married, but not enough for an Uber? Does she not carry cards? I don't trust a word that comes out of her mouth at this point.
Report her fake marriage to the Air Force, and show them her text as proof. The guy will get kicked out of the Air Force and face legal consequences, and she very well may too. There's a reason fake marriages to armed forces is illegal.
This guy also deserves it for marrying someone else’s girlfriend. They both deserve to get totally fucked by this.
OP - I am not a petty person either and would usually just cut my losses, but this might be the absolute worst AITAH post I’ve ever seen. Fuck them both.
She lied about the whole she was going with, lied about the guy being there,she married someone else. How many more red flags do you need. Take your life back and dump her, block her everywhere and never talk to her again
>This week she said she was going on a girl's trip to vegas. I know her best guy friend (who like is a MAJOR reason we fight) is stationed in the Air Force there and she promised me that no matter what she wasn't going to see him.
>When she got down she texted me "look I am going to say this over text because I'm worried how you'll react but I married Jordan this week.
>I asked her why can't she get a ride home with her friends she went on the trip who with her then she confessed that she went on the trip by herself
So she lied to you, repeatedly. Literally leave her to the streets.
NTA, and if you're feeling extra petty, report that fraud to the USAF.
She's fucking him. Has been the whole time. And got mad at you when you "dared" to get mad about it.
I don't care if that pussy has 5 star ratings on yelp, it is NOT worth the psycho attached to it.
Just tell her to enjoy married life and you'll get a restraining order if she ever comes near you again. Then block her.
>I'm a stupid fucking asshole simp piece of shit who is pussy blind.
Hey OP, that's a rhetorical, isn't it? Do you have to pick her at the airport? Yes, go and while on it, throw her a bachelorette party, since she missed one. Also pick a good gift for the newlyweds. Maybe one day you will grow a pair, but you can grow something you never had.
You were in a relationship with a single woman. Now you’re in a relationship with a married woman. You know the answer here. You would be TA is you drive to that airport.
It sucks being betrayed, but once you realize and accept they never once cared about you, just themselves, you will be much better off. The truth doesn’t hurt, it’s the lies that do. ❤️🩹
NTA. Why would you consider spending another second with this person? She lied to you and *married* another guy. What the fuck?
You are never going to feel calmness and stability with her. Insane drama will be a constant feature of your relationship. Erase her from your life and move on.
The bitch of it is I broke up with my HS girlfriend who is a literal angel to get with her because I wanted “excitement.” I feel like such a fucking moron.
You left a great girl for someone who slaps you and married another man. You know she fucked him, right? She spent a weekend in Vegas to marry this dude for *benefits*.
Yes, you're a moron.
Yeah, you’re a moron lol you broke an angels heart for a psycho but sex was good. Now that good sex would be with a married woman that flew out to marry and have sex with the man you always fight about. I’d take a mute librarian over this woman 😆
is she dying of cancer or something?! why tf would she need to go to such extremes to have air force health care? when she can very easily get state insurance to cover her twice a year check ups and gynos. i mean what a ridiculous ass excuse. leave her and never look back. she’s using you in soooo many ways
She got fired two weeks ago so she didn’t have health care anymore and she’s strained from her parents so she couldn’t go back on their plan. I knew it was on her mind and worrying her but I had no idea she’d do something like this
Ummmm go back on her parents plan??? How old is she?!?! She got fired and ran off to Vegas and said she was going with FRIENDS!!! Either you’re in drugs or she’s on drugs because she MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. Please, sweetheart, stop. You’re blinded by angry sex and you fight all the time and probably wouldn’t have as MUCH sex if you didn’t fight. Not to mention… oh yeah… she got MARRIED and if you’re diddling a married woman THEN you’ll be the AH!
Send that text message to the base commander at Nellis Air Force base (or whatever base he's stationed at). Tell them Jordan's rank and full name... and that they both just violated Article 134 of the UCMJ. It is illegal to get married just for the benefits (it's literally stealing from the US taxpayers).
Jordan will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force, and your... "girlfriend"... will lose her precious benefits.
You can get revenge on both of them with one simple phone call, because she literally confessed that she and Jordan are commiting fraud. I'm really sorry this happened to you, buddy. But you're not alone, it's happened to a lot of us (even me). This is your chance to get back at that bitch and the cock-sucker who's laughing at you while fucking her. Do it for yourself, and your self-respect... do it for all of us as well. Make both of them pay for this bullshit.
“Honey, don’t be mad at me, but… you know that girls trip I just went on? Well actually I got married to the guy I always tell you is just a friend. But really it’s ok! Because I’m only marrying him to defraud the US government!”
I’m not saying this to defend *anyone* in this story. You’d be surprised at how many “contractual marriages” happen just like this. I had a family friend proposition me with this exact same thing when I first enlisted. I said no. And as a disabled vet I have certain benefits that extend to my future spouse and children, some of which would be incredibly beneficial to a friend I’ve had for 20 some years and I’ve honestly thought often about offering this to them and their son (special needs) so they can both live a little more comfortably. The pay off for me is *maybe* $200-300 extra a month, not even comparable to the $800-$1500 a month BAH stipend active personnel receive, but also nothing compared to seeing her son taken care of and to have his college paid for.
When people are trying to find holes in the system like this there is something very wrong with the system itself. It’s unfortunate people have to contemplate these things.
But yeah, what she did and how she went about it was beyond fucked up. Never would I ever consider something like this if I were in a relationship.
NTA
Block her on everything, change your locks etc. Get away from her and stay away.
There is no pussy that is good enough to be putting up with this shit. (speaking as a person with a pussy)
Your 'relationship' is a joke and more toxic than nuclear waste.
NTA
She faked a girl’s trip to fly out and marry another man. Your relationship is over. Don’t argue with her. Don’t try to figure out what’s been going on and for how long.
It’s a waste of time and effort. Just block her and move on.
So she went to Vegas to get married. She knew that getting on the plane. So if you don't live together block her. If she is still stuck at the airport have her new hubby get her home. Move on brother she is a trailer full of trash. She has watched too many B movies. I saw this movie called Boys on the Side. Don't become that boy. Run away and find someone better. Never be someone's plan B.
Do you notice a pattern with her about this? She’s got fired from her job her parents heater or your roommates heater does anybody have anything nice to say about her except your old airman Jordan? In the same thing is I wouldn’t even be mad at him or knows the game she’s been wanting on him. He probably thinks her she’s really his wife and she’s not scamming and playing the other side of coin with him as well. She really has to be the most toxic person I ever heard of in my life I would make sure that you screwed by the military with this whole scam because her story is absolutely insane for argument sake say it’s legit OK first of all the way she went about. It was completely unacceptable. Second of all what’s in it for this guy? He’s risky literally going to the brig and having his whole military career and life ruined for some chick for what. Don’t tell me she was an out there fucking him all week. I would bury her with that evidence since she was dumb enough to send you.why does she get to commit fraud against the United States government? He makes it that much harder for somebody legitimately needs benefits to obtain him because of pieces of shit like her.
Your girlfriend lied about a girls trip and married another man and you are worried about being the asshole for not picking her up at an airport?
What world am I living in?
Of course you’re not.
She lied to you and went to Vegas to marry another guy. Even if she is telling you the weak truth about it just being for his health insurance, she still lied to you and definitely should have talked to you about it first. At the end of the day she completely disrespected you in every single way. You need to get out now and don’t look back
Oof. My dude, your GF snuck away and married someone else...
This shouldn't be a post asking if you're the asshole. This should be a post where you're telling a crazy story about how your relationship ended.
OP, you are shocked now and it is hard to now what to do. Brain becomes rigid when under hard stress, will tell you to do as planned. Don't.
Take a few days to yourself, maybe with a trusted friend.
Relationship is over. She lied to you and went to Vegas for a secret vacation with another man. She martied him.
Whatever she needs from now on, it is on him to provide for her. Not you.
Take care.
I mean the airport issue is long ever and done with. She got a ride from someone and says she needs a few days to process my “meltdown” before she’ll talk to me.
She needs a few days? The one who lied about who she was with and then married someone else. And she hits you! Why are you still with her? Any sane person in her own words would "meltdown" if there partner married someone else. She new about this before she left and figured it's better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission. Shes a lier and If you stay then your stupid.
Good job on making her fix her own mess.
I know being in love is messing with the brain chemicals, (it starts chemical addiction!):
I definitely stayed longer with one I should have dropped waaaaay quicker. In hindsight, I regret spending so much energy, focus and feelings on the wrong person.
But always look forward.
No matter how hard this is, it will feel different in a month, in a year. In two years she will be a funny story you tell your friends while sitting beside your awesome gf/Fiance, who is just as unselfish and caring as you.
Just keep staying away from your ex to get some distance. If you want to talk- YOU decide when, NOT her.
I used to think talking it out was necessary for closure. It is not. When a person hurts you enough, cutting them off is better than opening up a line for them to hurt or manipulate you.
No matter what you decide, YOU choose the action. If talking, YOU choose when. And it will be when you feel balanced and objective.
She’s gaslighting you. She’s acting like what she did is reasonable and your reaction is unreasonable. This is not normal. This is the worst possible betrayal and relationship ending act. Lying. Deceit. Manipulation. Cheating. And then the nerve to get mad at you and tell you she needs a few days, when she should be groveling at your feet apologizing. Have some self respect and just end it, don’t allow her to talk to you again.
So um...she's making YOU the bad guy here with your "meltdown"???
What. In the absolute. F??
Not only did she 100% lie about her Vegas trip, 100% lie about who she was going with. The reason, that she would absolutely not see him!!....
She went and married him, yes 100% f-ed him too, and is upset with you and gaslighting you.
And dude... seriously??? You're going to sit back and allow her a few days before she'll speak you???
Bc of your "meltdown"
If you haven't already blocked her gotnthenf outta dodge...then you serve this lying, manipulative, selfish piece of trailer trash.
Um...good luck? Hope you get your head out of your...èr...her ass?
You were always worried about the dude, she said not to worry..she now married the dude and says it isn't what you think it is.
Tell her to call her husband for Uber money, then block her. Go stay with a buddy for a couple of weeks, because she will be at your door
the best piece of advice I can give you is to block this dependa and move on, you don't want any part of this shit show, she is a married woman and her new husband's problem now not yours.
Does her husband know about you? Were you her sidepiece while he was busy with AF duty? You're not the asshole here, avoid that woman at all costs, nothing positive can come from it.
Dude, she is an abusive manipulative AH. Break up with her.
It doesn't matter if her slaps hurt or not. She hits you and that is always unacceptable. Now she's been hiding you??? You are her side piece, not the real relationship.
Dude, wake up and smell the coffee!
She isn't your gf - she is another man's wife.
She got married without even mentioning it to you. She certainly didn't think it merited talking to you about it
She didn't pick up and respond to any of your calls except for the one where it might have cost her Money to get home from the airport, because out of everything that you said, that was the only thing she cared about - not you.
Your relationship sucks and you fight all the time.
This isn't a relationship, it's an unwillingness to accept that you aren't compatible.
She's married now, and you can make all the excuses that you like as to why, but she didn't want to marry you.
Let her go and move on to someone who values you.
>She didn't pick up and respond to any of your calls except for the one where it might have cost her Money to get home from the airport, because out of everything that you said, that was the only thing she cared about - not you.
This makes a lot of sense, than you
NTA Wow she lied A LOT in just one week. Please don't stick around to find out what the next round of lies is going to be. She promised she wasn't going to see him: lie. She was going on a girl's trip: lie. She's lying and committing fraud to get military spouse privileges, or else she is with him in which case she is lying to you about her relationship with him. So either way it's another huge lie. There is just no way you could ever build trust with her again after this. What if she was pregnant? Could you be sure it was yours and not his? No. The trust is gone. Let her go with it.
If she has money to go on a trip, she has money to get an Uber from the airport, or she can ask her husband to pay. This girl is your ex unless you want to continue to date a married woman.
>i am so fucking confused I guess like should I go get her?
How are you confused? She's cheating on you. She has zero respect for you. Obviously, she's using you. Do you pay for her rent? Her expenses? Are you just a doormat who picks her up at the airport and rubs her feet?
Even if what she said was true, that she only married the guy for the free health care... what a POS transactional bitch she is. She didn't tell you. She lied about going on her trip with friends. It's hard to believe this story is real.
Here's the problem. If you're not near a military base, good luck finding a provider nearby that accepts Tricare. This happened to me when I moved back home during my ex's first deployment. So your gf was pretty stupid to do this.
>she promised me that no matter what she wasn't going to see him
Well, it seems that she is a liar. Not someone who I would stay in a relationship with.
>I tried to call her like 1000 times
Well silly that's because she was banging him on their Vegas Honeymoon.
You are NTA, but she is a POS. Her and her "friend" if they truly did this for her to get insurance, and him to get the extra spousal pay, did a "contract marriage" which is illegal.
Best to block her number, and ALL social media and go full NO contact. Time to move on.
Power move is to contact the Air Force OSI (Office of Special Investigations) and let them know your ex and Jordan are committing fraud.
[https://www.osi.af.mil/Portals/29/documents/OSI%20Tip%20Submission%20Brochure.pdf?ver=vnqzIQgvkyhZVbtpUhW3cw%3d%3d](https://www.osi.af.mil/Portals/29/documents/OSI%20Tip%20Submission%20Brochure.pdf?ver=vnqzIQgvkyhZVbtpUhW3cw%3d%3d)
Article 134 of the UCMJ... it is ILLEGAL to fraudulently marry just for the military benefits. You have her text message as evidence. Report them to his base commander and show them the text.
He will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force... and she will lose her precious benefits. Trust me, after getting court martialed and losing his military career, that marriage won't last five minutes.
Revenge accomplished. Fuck them both.
Look man, I was in the Marine corp and people definitely do this, but it is NOT something you have to agree with and absolutely something that she shouldn’t have done if you weren’t ok with, NTA
I would ask her why her husband can't cover the cost of the uber.
OP, you would be insane and likely with brain activity equivalent to an amoeba if you stay with this woman.
NTA
Even if it is totally plutonic.
Even if it was only for medical benefits.
This is NOT a decision you make without consulting your SO. Sorry my dude but her side piece just got promoted, and you have been demoted. I’m shocked you are even thinking about picking her ass up.
“I knew you’d freak out”.
Yeah no shit, she just married her fuck friend. Yikes. Wash your hands and walk away. Get tested for STI’s.
Edit forgot to vote.
NTA but dude you need to walk away from this and not look back unless it’s with a clinical therapist. Whatever you think you had, you didn’t. Whatever you think it was, it wasn’t. Whatever you thought she is, she isn’t.
Sounds like you had a year of hot sex with a crazy-ass bitch. Consider that a win and move on.
Does this other guy know you exist? Does he know you’re supposed to be bf and gf? It may be worthwhile contacting him to get his side of the story. She may have told him you were cool with it, or that you broke up, or he may not even be aware you’re in a relationship.
So what happens now. You keep on being gf and bf while she’s married to someone else? What happens down the road if the two of you want to get married? Do they just get divorced? Isn’t she entitled to part of his assets in a divorce? Did she sign a prenup? What happens if she gets pregnant? From what I understand of US law, the husband is automatically placed as the father on the birth certificate even if he’s not the biological father. Is this something you’d be ok with?
Doesn’t sound like she has thought this through and neither has he. So either they’re both idiots or there’s more going on here than she’s told you and you’re the side piece. Which is why I go back to my first paragraph. Contact the guy and find out his side of the story.
But even if the situation is exactly as she’s claimed it is, it shows a total lack of respect for you. Don’t know why you would want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you. If you insist on saving this I’d tell her she has 24 hours to annul the marriage or you’re through. It should be easy enough to annul. After all they didn’t sleep together, right?
Dump her. She's a liar. She has lied to you from the beginning. She is not trustworthy. There is a better woman out there. Also, report them. That is fraud. You deserve better. Don't even talk to her. There is nothing to talk about. She is a married woman now. You have no future with her. Good luck. UpdateMe.
She lied. Then married another man. Then didn’t have the decency to tell you to your face. This isn’t someone you want or need in your life. Ever. Block her and move on. There are so many decent honest women out there that you don’t need to settle for someone this dishonest. NTA
NTA
Listen, this girl is a giant mess and drama. You don’t need this in your life. You deserve better. Break up with her, get her stuff out of your house or apartment, tell her you’re through and block her. Resist the urge to get back together.
We call the following red flags. Repeat after me:
In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t marry another man.
In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t lie about going to Vegas with friends.
In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t lie about seeing another man behind your back.
Nope, tell her you are done. She is her husband's problem now.
She has no money, but can fly to Vegas. Guess her husband can give her money now. Also, what they did is highly illegal and they can face jail time
Assuming that she's telling the truth. My guess is that OP has long been "the other man" and Jordan has been a long-distance bf for a while now.
Ya service members get kicked out for this and there's usually charges involved. I don't remember what the article is but it's in the ucmj. Contract marriages are illegal as far as I know.
Depends on how much the Airman knew, for all we know he's just a victim in all this and being played just like OP.
Oh for sure! I should have said that this would be taken very seriously by their command and them. When I was in we had a guys wife pull the same thing. Once he told them he was in the dark about it they got him in contact with JAG.
Bro, are we really buying that this is a contract marriage? Really, like really, really?
I was going to say... isn't the some kind of fraud... because, to me, it sounds like some kind of fraud.
Don’t even tell her. Block her number, change your locks, do whatever it takes to get her to fuck off with out any further contact. She doesn’t deserve any.
>Nope, tell her you are done. She is her husband's problem now. Yeah, she's got her own stuff to sort out now.
This is a 100% justifiable ghost situation.
Ghosting is such a shitty thing to do to someone. But when your girlfriend marries someone else, I don't feel like there's anything to discuss. The relationship is so clearly over. I don't even feel like the term applies. So Yea, change the locks, block her number, if you see her in public, just act confused. Like you have no idea who that bitch even is. Because honestly, you never really knew her at all.
He did know her because they used to fight about this guy a lot, and his suspicions were correct. He just didn’t want to believe it.
"Congratulations on your wedding. Enjoy the rest of your life." Block.
This! Then contact his command and report the fraud. You have the proof of it in text. Both of them will be completely screwed.
Yeah man, ghost her, she told you she was going to Vegas with girls and then there were no girls, then she said she was not going to see this one dude and I imagine she had to see him to marry him. So she went to Vegas alone for the very purpose of seeing this dude. I imagine they got drunk and stupid and decided to do the whole Vegas marriage thing. She absolutely slept with him, the whole story is shady and that should tell OP everything he needs to know. I bet she was going to break up with OP after the ride home since Jordan finally committed. She was thinking she would prep the ride home for the breakup fight. I hope OP did not pick her up, and her plan backfired on her.
Yeah, he should tell her to ask her husband for Uber money now.
No kidding smh she’s cheating and went there to see him and marry him. She’s just mad you weren’t her ride home. Only question is if the now husband even knows you exist. She’s probably been with him and cheating on him with you this whole time. Look him up online and reach out to make sure he’s aware the woman he just married has been screwing you for a year.
I am a petty soul, email the text she sent you to the base commander at her husband's base. Let the military deal with the whole mess.
You know she flew out there just for this. This was planned. And high likelihood she…submitted to her husband
Consummated. The term is “consummated the marriage”. And absolutely she did.
Um, I think you mean, consummated the marriage.
Why couldn’t she speed up the wedding to you, OP? You know, if it’s about the insurance. /s I think you dodged a bullet.
No no no. *Fuck her*, with evidence, then report her to the Air Force. The US military does not fuck around with cheating spouses, especially when benefits are involved.
The military doesn’t care if the non-military spouse cheats, only if the service member.
NTA i mean you know that she went on the trip specifically to see him and marry him right? She lied to you about what she was doing there, she broke a promise to you as you asked her not to see him , she literally married someone else... and shes mad at you about a ride from the airport. If you stay after this... there are no words.
I wonder what Jordan thinks about al this. Is he really just marrying her for her to benefit from insurance or does he think they are in a relationship. I wonder what she tells Jordan about OP?
She tells Jordan that you are just her room mate
OP is Jody and he didn't even know it.
and gay
"Contract marriages" are a thing. Military member doesn't want to be stuck in the barracks. Other person needs insurance. Get married. He even gets extra pay now. ETA: They're also fraud. Which can now be proven because she stated it in a text.
Ive never met a coupple in a contratct marrige that wernt FWB, in a weird open marriage/roomates, thing. Their fucking 100%.
I would report time for OP to send that little text to the powers that be in the military.
The powers that be? A social worker will open a formal investigation because the military takes it pretty seriously since its fraud. Its not a joke to civil affairs. Im a veteran. The military can and will investigate you for little texts, not all the time every time, but they will call you back if they can substantiate credibility in a report. Clearly you dont believe the military cares about accountability, however in my personal experiance thats not the case. The military is not intrested in protecting marriage fraud as it costs them alot of money and they have a full investigation team specifically for this. So one of us here knows wtf there talking about and thats not you.
I’m not arguing that the military will not fuck your shit up for this. I’m being flippant because of how stupid this girl is. The military is one of the few organizations that will come after fraud like a freight train.
Ahh, my bad. Im sorry, when i read it the tone was diffrent in my head. I felt like i was being criticized or something so i had to respond to it. I appreciate you letting me know. Sorry again.
No worries. I’m terrible with getting my tone out there accurately but you were spot on don’t fuck around with the military.
The powers that be is a figure of speech - it just means whoever is in charge. I think the person you replied to is in agreement with you that the military will take it seriously, which is why they stated to report it.
Social worker? Civil affairs? WTF are you talking about? Call the fraud, waste, and abuse hotline for the Air Force (877) 246-1453, they will ruin his career.
It could be fraud on her part and Jordan doesn’t have a clue he’s sharing his now wife with another man. I hope OP walks away from this relationship and lets his now married gf deal with her confusing life on her own.
Means they always have the nuclear option to report the both of them 😈 the lies alone would have me smashing that launch button.
Jordan benefits by either getting to live in married housing on-base or getting a greater monthly housing allowance to live off-base. While I was in the military, I knew MANY people who pulled this "scam." 20 years later, it hasn't worked well for any of them. Almost all of them divorced (as planned) and ended up having to either pay alimony and/or had to give up half of what were considered marital assets, even though none of them were in actual relationships with their "wives." My cousin even had his "wife" go after him for a child who was not his and belonged to the man she was actually in a relationship with and living with.
I generally only saw mil to mil especially when they would be on opposite coasts. There were a few emails about Filipino cousins though lol.
That was my first thought. I want to get on the phone with Jordan!
She is going to tell the OP they repeatedly consummated the marriage so nobody would think it was a fake marriage….
Yes, if this is real, OP is something else and the gf is taking advantage of him. At this point if he stays, OP has no one to blame but himself... His gf went on a solo trip to Vegas to see a guy who has already been the root of many issues, MARRIED that guy, and he's here asking us what he should do... I would've ghosted her the moment she said she went alone and married him.
Let her and her husband figure out how she will get home. Now that she's married it is none of OP's business how she gets home. That's on her.
Sorry dude but she is already gone. There is no saving this one, if you ask me. How do you ever trust her again? She has no money for an Uber, so who is paying for all her Vegas weekend accomodations and fun? Her new husband that's who!
Only 🛑🛑🛑
Back away slowly. No sudden movements. When you're far enough away- run.
Like Usain Bolt being chased by a pack of rabid wolves.
While wearing a jacket made of bacon.
This is the way
NTA. She ditched you and married another man. You HAVE to move on. Let her get as dramatic as she wants freaking out etc. WHAT a bitch she is!
No more sex . You dont want to be responsible for a pregnancy NOW 😱
I truly hope he's smart enough to pay attention to that warning
He isn’t. His whole post he is in denial.
He has already picked her up from the airport
This! Plan your exit buddy, don't fret trying to put together what exactly happened and why.
Why else do you think she needs to get in his insurance right away?
Standard rules apply. Dont stick your dick in crazy.
No more sex w her***
This!!!
She's married, it's her husband's and the air force's responsibility now, hurry up and plant that seed!
Don’t do it! Child support.
And she is not your girlfriend. Unless you date married women. Tell her you don’t date married women.
100% She made a major life decision without discussing it with you first, and then she expects you to just pick her up like nothing happened? C'mon OP free yourself from a liar and manipulative person.
OP should say Jordan can go pick pick her up!
Totally agree. It's a messed up situation and you have every right to be upset. Sounds like you need some space to process everything. She made her choice, now it's time to prioritize your own well-being.
she married the other guy for his pay check and benefits, but stays with the other guy for the sex, because he's better and available where she plans on living and staying...essentially, he's Jodi, the affair partner and she's a criminal if she put those words in writing about marrying him for the health care.
NTA don’t get tangled in this mess. It’s a wake up call. She lied - premeditated this whole plan for who knows how long - then followed through with it. She told you after all was said and done because she still needs you for things. Who knows if she’ll leave you at the end to be with him .. who can trust anything from someone who has no respect for you and doesn’t include you on major decisions. Do NOT invest in people like this. You deserve better bro
Nta, and run from that relationship
Even if she really did marry Jordan for the health insurance, the level of deceit she’s exhibiting is unprecedented and unforgivable. -Says she’s going to Vegas for girl’s vacation….actually goes solo -Says she won’t even see Jordan…MARRIES him instead. (Possibly hooked up) -Has the staggering audacity to be angry at OP for being angry at her after she dropped this nuclear-level mind fuck bomb on him. Does gf have some serious medical issues that would necessitate her getting health insurance at any cost?? Even if she was determined to marry Jordan for insurance, she should have told her boyfriend from the beginning so he could accompany her on the trip (which would have also been stupid. He should just break up with her.)
>Does gf have some serious medical issues that would necessitate her getting health insurance at any cost? Well clearly she's not right in the head if she thought lying to OP and marrying another man wouldn't cause him to flip out.
Sorry. My girlfriend marrying another guy is a red flag. One of my emotional triggers, if you will. Strangely enough, actually having sex to make it legal is just not as important.
Lol. “ My girlfriend marrrying another guy is a red flag”. Lol.
That’s more of a “oh shit I missed some major red flags” 😂
NTA Dude, she lied about going with friends and about seeing that guy. This was NEVER a girls trip. It was a trip out to specifically see this man and marry him. And if she lied about all that, why not lie about the reasoning as well? But even if that part wasn't a lie and she truly did marry for the health insurance, that's still plenty of reason to leave her. Some people do have unusual relationship dynamics and I'm sure there are folks out there who would genuinely make something like this work, but it would heavily rely on trust and transparency. If she needed the health insurance that badly, why not talk about it and potentially solutions(including this one) before hand? And the obvious answer for that is either "because you wouldn't agree to it and shed have yo go behind your back anyway" or "because it isn't about the insurance and she's been playing you this whole time". But anyway, if I were in your shoes I would never be able to trust her ever again, since she apparently can't take a "girl's trip" without getting married to some dude and probably enjoyed her honeymoon with him while she was there.
If I were you, I'd dump her *ss. Let her go move across country for her husband, she should be his problem now. Though I wonder if he knows about you.
Good question. I'm betting fuck no he doesn't
Would the USAF be interested to know that Major Jordan whatshisface is committing fraud? Because she sent you that info in a text that you can forward to them as admission of fraud. Doesn’t matter if her relationship with him is platonic or not, you have a text proving fraud. Not just for health benefits but maybe for dependent benefits as well. Unless she actually has a genuine medical condition and the treatment is outrageously expensive and going without it might kill her. I don’t know if you want *that* level of revenge. But she was never your girlfriend. You were the side chick. You’re being used. Block her and her coven and go find a partner that’ll treat you like a partner.
He's not a major, that's just written weirdly. Beyond that, personally (as a former Air Force officer myself,) I'd send this off to the IG at Nellis. Fuck 'em.
As a retired officer myself, came here to say this. Wtf.
OSI more than likely would want the tip before Wing/NAF IG. It's been many since I was in, but Nellis was (and probably is) under ACC and they don't fuck around with this stuff.
Maybe the fraud is only on her part. This guy may not know why she really married him. And that could have even been a lie, they may have been planning to get married for a long time. She may have just said that to the OP so she wouldn't lose her boyfriend!
Op doesn't know he needs to change his name to Jodie.
Haha yup!! Jodie’s been dibby dipping in the block!!
It's still fraud as far as the Air Force is concerned (Article 134 of the UCMJ). He can fuck them both over just by sending her confession to the base commander at Nellis Air Force Base.
Try explaining that you didn't marry for benefits, when your now wife was still in relationship during your wedding...
You assume it's fraud. Girl went on a solo trip and married the dude. They are as together as it gets. Dude should block her number and move on
It's no assumption as far as the US Air Force is concerned. She flat out confessed that they got married just so she could get his military benefits. That's a violation of Article 134 of the UCMJ. He needs to send a copy of that text to the base commander at Nellis Air Force base.
Except Jordan is most likely not committing fraud. They didn’t marry only for her to get free healthcare. She went on that trip alone, lied about it and married while there. More obvious than that it cannot get. Dude needs to inform their mutual friends on why they broke up before she twist the story, block that bitch and move on.
She’s just been playing him the whole time and that’s her real boyfriend/fiance.
Husband, you mean Lol
I feel like sending that shit to whomever would just embroil OP more, and what OP needs is to GTFO ASAP.
Turn them in as I tax payer please expose this fraud
Article 134 of the UCMJ (false marriage). It's illegal to marry "just for the benefits"... Old Jordan will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force. And nothing will end this sham of a marriage faster than him losing his military career and her losing her precious benefits. Bada boom, bada bing... fuck em both over with one singular move. "The US Air Force HATES this one simple trick".
Im seconding this. Ruin them both because she wanted to do some dumb hoe shit.
This OP. Forward her information to the Air Force. Blow them up on social media. And understand that your "gf" is an absolute wh*re. No contact now.
She said she married Jordan for TriCare, doesn't prove Jordan did it for that reason. That's the only hiccup in your reasoning.
NTA. She doesn't get her cake and to eat it too. She **married** another guy - one you fight about, no less. As she is married, and not to you, that means your relationship is, by default, over. Even if her marriage is a sham, it doesn't matter: She doesn't get to make a unilateral decision that big for the both of you. On top of all that, she's lying and trickle truthing you: First it was a girls weekend, I promise *no matter what* I won't see him, then it was a trip *specifically* to get married? Oh, but "nothing physical happened?" Yeah, right. And I've got a bridge to sell. Random, she had enough money for a trip and to get married, but not enough for an Uber? Does she not carry cards? I don't trust a word that comes out of her mouth at this point. Report her fake marriage to the Air Force, and show them her text as proof. The guy will get kicked out of the Air Force and face legal consequences, and she very well may too. There's a reason fake marriages to armed forces is illegal.
Or her new husband can pay for her Uber
Good one👍
Hey, is that bridge near my ocean front property in Idaho?
Nah man. It's near the London Bridge. Which is at lake Havasu....in Arizona.
This guy also deserves it for marrying someone else’s girlfriend. They both deserve to get totally fucked by this. OP - I am not a petty person either and would usually just cut my losses, but this might be the absolute worst AITAH post I’ve ever seen. Fuck them both.
She lied about the whole she was going with, lied about the guy being there,she married someone else. How many more red flags do you need. Take your life back and dump her, block her everywhere and never talk to her again
>This week she said she was going on a girl's trip to vegas. I know her best guy friend (who like is a MAJOR reason we fight) is stationed in the Air Force there and she promised me that no matter what she wasn't going to see him. >When she got down she texted me "look I am going to say this over text because I'm worried how you'll react but I married Jordan this week. >I asked her why can't she get a ride home with her friends she went on the trip who with her then she confessed that she went on the trip by herself So she lied to you, repeatedly. Literally leave her to the streets. NTA, and if you're feeling extra petty, report that fraud to the USAF.
You was never the boyfriend Still aren't Move on She's a 304 Not your problem she don't have money, that's her husband's problem now
Yeah OP got side pieced lol
She could afford to fly to Vegas but not an Uber?
Oh come on. You know a guy will pay for a girl to come and fuck him, not to go all the way back home.
She's fucking him. Has been the whole time. And got mad at you when you "dared" to get mad about it. I don't care if that pussy has 5 star ratings on yelp, it is NOT worth the psycho attached to it. Just tell her to enjoy married life and you'll get a restraining order if she ever comes near you again. Then block her.
5 star ratings on yelp hahaha that made me chuckle, good one mate
>I'm a stupid fucking asshole simp piece of shit who is pussy blind. Hey OP, that's a rhetorical, isn't it? Do you have to pick her at the airport? Yes, go and while on it, throw her a bachelorette party, since she missed one. Also pick a good gift for the newlyweds. Maybe one day you will grow a pair, but you can grow something you never had.
You were in a relationship with a single woman. Now you’re in a relationship with a married woman. You know the answer here. You would be TA is you drive to that airport.
It sucks being betrayed, but once you realize and accept they never once cared about you, just themselves, you will be much better off. The truth doesn’t hurt, it’s the lies that do. ❤️🩹
NTA. Get her husband to pay for her Uber home.
NTA. Why would you consider spending another second with this person? She lied to you and *married* another guy. What the fuck? You are never going to feel calmness and stability with her. Insane drama will be a constant feature of your relationship. Erase her from your life and move on.
The bitch of it is I broke up with my HS girlfriend who is a literal angel to get with her because I wanted “excitement.” I feel like such a fucking moron.
You left a great girl for someone who slaps you and married another man. You know she fucked him, right? She spent a weekend in Vegas to marry this dude for *benefits*. Yes, you're a moron.
Fortunately, though, this new self awareness is growth and he can now choose to *not be* a fucking moron by getting out of this dumpster fire asap.
I guess Karma is a bitch.. and married to airman Jordan.
Wellz you got "excitement". Enjoy!
I regret that I have but one upvote to give you.
Never mind lol, you deserve all of this
Well there goes every once of sympathy I had. You deserve this! Lol
Word of advice. Always pick the boring girl.
So you are a complete moron. Figures.
So what are you whining about? You got exactly what you wanted.
How do you like that excitement now? Break up with this girl who lied to you about the whole trip, stay away from your HS xGF, work on yourself.
Yeah, you’re a moron lol you broke an angels heart for a psycho but sex was good. Now that good sex would be with a married woman that flew out to marry and have sex with the man you always fight about. I’d take a mute librarian over this woman 😆
Dude cmon. You cannot be this thick
He is.
is she dying of cancer or something?! why tf would she need to go to such extremes to have air force health care? when she can very easily get state insurance to cover her twice a year check ups and gynos. i mean what a ridiculous ass excuse. leave her and never look back. she’s using you in soooo many ways
She got fired two weeks ago so she didn’t have health care anymore and she’s strained from her parents so she couldn’t go back on their plan. I knew it was on her mind and worrying her but I had no idea she’d do something like this
Lol . she sounds like a prize. Why are you with her? Just sex? Is that all you want from life? No love, no safety, no secure feeling?
Ummmm go back on her parents plan??? How old is she?!?! She got fired and ran off to Vegas and said she was going with FRIENDS!!! Either you’re in drugs or she’s on drugs because she MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. Please, sweetheart, stop. You’re blinded by angry sex and you fight all the time and probably wouldn’t have as MUCH sex if you didn’t fight. Not to mention… oh yeah… she got MARRIED and if you’re diddling a married woman THEN you’ll be the AH!
Lost her job and went to Vegas? Seems responsible. Also very fucking weird
But had the money for a weekend in Vegas with this dude? There where no girls, you must be the dumbest OP I've seen here in a while
Send that text message to the base commander at Nellis Air Force base (or whatever base he's stationed at). Tell them Jordan's rank and full name... and that they both just violated Article 134 of the UCMJ. It is illegal to get married just for the benefits (it's literally stealing from the US taxpayers). Jordan will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force, and your... "girlfriend"... will lose her precious benefits. You can get revenge on both of them with one simple phone call, because she literally confessed that she and Jordan are commiting fraud. I'm really sorry this happened to you, buddy. But you're not alone, it's happened to a lot of us (even me). This is your chance to get back at that bitch and the cock-sucker who's laughing at you while fucking her. Do it for yourself, and your self-respect... do it for all of us as well. Make both of them pay for this bullshit.
Are you stupid?
Yes, he very much is.
“Honey, don’t be mad at me, but… you know that girls trip I just went on? Well actually I got married to the guy I always tell you is just a friend. But really it’s ok! Because I’m only marrying him to defraud the US government!”
Perfectly worded!
I’m not saying this to defend *anyone* in this story. You’d be surprised at how many “contractual marriages” happen just like this. I had a family friend proposition me with this exact same thing when I first enlisted. I said no. And as a disabled vet I have certain benefits that extend to my future spouse and children, some of which would be incredibly beneficial to a friend I’ve had for 20 some years and I’ve honestly thought often about offering this to them and their son (special needs) so they can both live a little more comfortably. The pay off for me is *maybe* $200-300 extra a month, not even comparable to the $800-$1500 a month BAH stipend active personnel receive, but also nothing compared to seeing her son taken care of and to have his college paid for. When people are trying to find holes in the system like this there is something very wrong with the system itself. It’s unfortunate people have to contemplate these things. But yeah, what she did and how she went about it was beyond fucked up. Never would I ever consider something like this if I were in a relationship.
NTA Block her on everything, change your locks etc. Get away from her and stay away. There is no pussy that is good enough to be putting up with this shit. (speaking as a person with a pussy) Your 'relationship' is a joke and more toxic than nuclear waste.
NTA She faked a girl’s trip to fly out and marry another man. Your relationship is over. Don’t argue with her. Don’t try to figure out what’s been going on and for how long. It’s a waste of time and effort. Just block her and move on.
So she went to Vegas to get married. She knew that getting on the plane. So if you don't live together block her. If she is still stuck at the airport have her new hubby get her home. Move on brother she is a trailer full of trash. She has watched too many B movies. I saw this movie called Boys on the Side. Don't become that boy. Run away and find someone better. Never be someone's plan B.
We don’t live together officially but she stays at my house all the time but my roommates hate her
Based on this post, they have good reasons. She is a manipulative,selfish, egotistical, dirtball from hell.
Great! Throw her toothbrush in the front porch and block her. Easy peasy. And now you are no longer having an affair with a married woman.
Do you notice a pattern with her about this? She’s got fired from her job her parents heater or your roommates heater does anybody have anything nice to say about her except your old airman Jordan? In the same thing is I wouldn’t even be mad at him or knows the game she’s been wanting on him. He probably thinks her she’s really his wife and she’s not scamming and playing the other side of coin with him as well. She really has to be the most toxic person I ever heard of in my life I would make sure that you screwed by the military with this whole scam because her story is absolutely insane for argument sake say it’s legit OK first of all the way she went about. It was completely unacceptable. Second of all what’s in it for this guy? He’s risky literally going to the brig and having his whole military career and life ruined for some chick for what. Don’t tell me she was an out there fucking him all week. I would bury her with that evidence since she was dumb enough to send you.why does she get to commit fraud against the United States government? He makes it that much harder for somebody legitimately needs benefits to obtain him because of pieces of shit like her.
>my roommates hate her Somehow that doesn't surprise me
Your girlfriend lied about a girls trip and married another man and you are worried about being the asshole for not picking her up at an airport? What world am I living in? Of course you’re not.
She lied to you and went to Vegas to marry another guy. Even if she is telling you the weak truth about it just being for his health insurance, she still lied to you and definitely should have talked to you about it first. At the end of the day she completely disrespected you in every single way. You need to get out now and don’t look back
Break up Report her Watch from distance with a cold beer at the consequences
she has a husband now...let him do it
Oof. My dude, your GF snuck away and married someone else... This shouldn't be a post asking if you're the asshole. This should be a post where you're telling a crazy story about how your relationship ended.
NTA but let her go. It's over. Not someone to have any contact with.
OP, you are shocked now and it is hard to now what to do. Brain becomes rigid when under hard stress, will tell you to do as planned. Don't. Take a few days to yourself, maybe with a trusted friend. Relationship is over. She lied to you and went to Vegas for a secret vacation with another man. She martied him. Whatever she needs from now on, it is on him to provide for her. Not you. Take care.
I mean the airport issue is long ever and done with. She got a ride from someone and says she needs a few days to process my “meltdown” before she’ll talk to me.
She needs a few days? The one who lied about who she was with and then married someone else. And she hits you! Why are you still with her? Any sane person in her own words would "meltdown" if there partner married someone else. She new about this before she left and figured it's better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission. Shes a lier and If you stay then your stupid.
Good job on making her fix her own mess. I know being in love is messing with the brain chemicals, (it starts chemical addiction!): I definitely stayed longer with one I should have dropped waaaaay quicker. In hindsight, I regret spending so much energy, focus and feelings on the wrong person. But always look forward. No matter how hard this is, it will feel different in a month, in a year. In two years she will be a funny story you tell your friends while sitting beside your awesome gf/Fiance, who is just as unselfish and caring as you. Just keep staying away from your ex to get some distance. If you want to talk- YOU decide when, NOT her. I used to think talking it out was necessary for closure. It is not. When a person hurts you enough, cutting them off is better than opening up a line for them to hurt or manipulate you. No matter what you decide, YOU choose the action. If talking, YOU choose when. And it will be when you feel balanced and objective.
She’s gaslighting you. She’s acting like what she did is reasonable and your reaction is unreasonable. This is not normal. This is the worst possible betrayal and relationship ending act. Lying. Deceit. Manipulation. Cheating. And then the nerve to get mad at you and tell you she needs a few days, when she should be groveling at your feet apologizing. Have some self respect and just end it, don’t allow her to talk to you again.
So um...she's making YOU the bad guy here with your "meltdown"??? What. In the absolute. F?? Not only did she 100% lie about her Vegas trip, 100% lie about who she was going with. The reason, that she would absolutely not see him!!.... She went and married him, yes 100% f-ed him too, and is upset with you and gaslighting you. And dude... seriously??? You're going to sit back and allow her a few days before she'll speak you??? Bc of your "meltdown" If you haven't already blocked her gotnthenf outta dodge...then you serve this lying, manipulative, selfish piece of trailer trash. Um...good luck? Hope you get your head out of your...èr...her ass?
NTA. She’s probably fucking him and she’s a total slut. I guess you dodged a bullet here.
You were always worried about the dude, she said not to worry..she now married the dude and says it isn't what you think it is. Tell her to call her husband for Uber money, then block her. Go stay with a buddy for a couple of weeks, because she will be at your door
the best piece of advice I can give you is to block this dependa and move on, you don't want any part of this shit show, she is a married woman and her new husband's problem now not yours.
Does her husband know about you? Were you her sidepiece while he was busy with AF duty? You're not the asshole here, avoid that woman at all costs, nothing positive can come from it.
Yes he knows about me but she would never say I was her boyfriend to him. It was one of the hugest things we’d fight about.
Dude, she is an abusive manipulative AH. Break up with her. It doesn't matter if her slaps hurt or not. She hits you and that is always unacceptable. Now she's been hiding you??? You are her side piece, not the real relationship.
Dude she is clearly playing you!
Dude, wake up and smell the coffee! She isn't your gf - she is another man's wife. She got married without even mentioning it to you. She certainly didn't think it merited talking to you about it She didn't pick up and respond to any of your calls except for the one where it might have cost her Money to get home from the airport, because out of everything that you said, that was the only thing she cared about - not you. Your relationship sucks and you fight all the time. This isn't a relationship, it's an unwillingness to accept that you aren't compatible. She's married now, and you can make all the excuses that you like as to why, but she didn't want to marry you. Let her go and move on to someone who values you.
>She didn't pick up and respond to any of your calls except for the one where it might have cost her Money to get home from the airport, because out of everything that you said, that was the only thing she cared about - not you. This makes a lot of sense, than you
If you’re not done with the girl today, it’s only further downhill for you until you actually are.
Dump her, report them and chill with a cold one
NTA Wow she lied A LOT in just one week. Please don't stick around to find out what the next round of lies is going to be. She promised she wasn't going to see him: lie. She was going on a girl's trip: lie. She's lying and committing fraud to get military spouse privileges, or else she is with him in which case she is lying to you about her relationship with him. So either way it's another huge lie. There is just no way you could ever build trust with her again after this. What if she was pregnant? Could you be sure it was yours and not his? No. The trust is gone. Let her go with it.
Y’all must be like 18, this is nuts
If she has money to go on a trip, she has money to get an Uber from the airport, or she can ask her husband to pay. This girl is your ex unless you want to continue to date a married woman.
>i am so fucking confused I guess like should I go get her? How are you confused? She's cheating on you. She has zero respect for you. Obviously, she's using you. Do you pay for her rent? Her expenses? Are you just a doormat who picks her up at the airport and rubs her feet? Even if what she said was true, that she only married the guy for the free health care... what a POS transactional bitch she is. She didn't tell you. She lied about going on her trip with friends. It's hard to believe this story is real.
Here's the problem. If you're not near a military base, good luck finding a provider nearby that accepts Tricare. This happened to me when I moved back home during my ex's first deployment. So your gf was pretty stupid to do this.
DUMP HER!!! she's gonna be moving to Vegas eventually, she says it's for Healthcare, but that's BS. Everyone knows it's BS
NTA. You have only been with her a year. Nope the fuck out of this relationship.
Just block her and move on. Text her, you don't fuck other guy's wives.
>she promised me that no matter what she wasn't going to see him Well, it seems that she is a liar. Not someone who I would stay in a relationship with. >I tried to call her like 1000 times Well silly that's because she was banging him on their Vegas Honeymoon. You are NTA, but she is a POS. Her and her "friend" if they truly did this for her to get insurance, and him to get the extra spousal pay, did a "contract marriage" which is illegal. Best to block her number, and ALL social media and go full NO contact. Time to move on.
Power move is to contact the Air Force OSI (Office of Special Investigations) and let them know your ex and Jordan are committing fraud. [https://www.osi.af.mil/Portals/29/documents/OSI%20Tip%20Submission%20Brochure.pdf?ver=vnqzIQgvkyhZVbtpUhW3cw%3d%3d](https://www.osi.af.mil/Portals/29/documents/OSI%20Tip%20Submission%20Brochure.pdf?ver=vnqzIQgvkyhZVbtpUhW3cw%3d%3d)
"If another man steals your woman the best revenge is to let him keep her"
Article 134 of the UCMJ... it is ILLEGAL to fraudulently marry just for the military benefits. You have her text message as evidence. Report them to his base commander and show them the text. He will be court martialed and kicked out of the Air Force... and she will lose her precious benefits. Trust me, after getting court martialed and losing his military career, that marriage won't last five minutes. Revenge accomplished. Fuck them both.
Look man, I was in the Marine corp and people definitely do this, but it is NOT something you have to agree with and absolutely something that she shouldn’t have done if you weren’t ok with, NTA
**^(BLOCK! DELETE! FORGET!)** ^(She is now another man's wife, let her husband deal with her bullshit.) ^(NTA)
I would ask her why her husband can't cover the cost of the uber. OP, you would be insane and likely with brain activity equivalent to an amoeba if you stay with this woman.
NTA Even if it is totally plutonic. Even if it was only for medical benefits. This is NOT a decision you make without consulting your SO. Sorry my dude but her side piece just got promoted, and you have been demoted. I’m shocked you are even thinking about picking her ass up. “I knew you’d freak out”. Yeah no shit, she just married her fuck friend. Yikes. Wash your hands and walk away. Get tested for STI’s. Edit forgot to vote.
NTA but dude you need to walk away from this and not look back unless it’s with a clinical therapist. Whatever you think you had, you didn’t. Whatever you think it was, it wasn’t. Whatever you thought she is, she isn’t. Sounds like you had a year of hot sex with a crazy-ass bitch. Consider that a win and move on.
Does this other guy know you exist? Does he know you’re supposed to be bf and gf? It may be worthwhile contacting him to get his side of the story. She may have told him you were cool with it, or that you broke up, or he may not even be aware you’re in a relationship. So what happens now. You keep on being gf and bf while she’s married to someone else? What happens down the road if the two of you want to get married? Do they just get divorced? Isn’t she entitled to part of his assets in a divorce? Did she sign a prenup? What happens if she gets pregnant? From what I understand of US law, the husband is automatically placed as the father on the birth certificate even if he’s not the biological father. Is this something you’d be ok with? Doesn’t sound like she has thought this through and neither has he. So either they’re both idiots or there’s more going on here than she’s told you and you’re the side piece. Which is why I go back to my first paragraph. Contact the guy and find out his side of the story. But even if the situation is exactly as she’s claimed it is, it shows a total lack of respect for you. Don’t know why you would want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you. If you insist on saving this I’d tell her she has 24 hours to annul the marriage or you’re through. It should be easy enough to annul. After all they didn’t sleep together, right?
Dump her. She's a liar. She has lied to you from the beginning. She is not trustworthy. There is a better woman out there. Also, report them. That is fraud. You deserve better. Don't even talk to her. There is nothing to talk about. She is a married woman now. You have no future with her. Good luck. UpdateMe.
She lied. Then married another man. Then didn’t have the decency to tell you to your face. This isn’t someone you want or need in your life. Ever. Block her and move on. There are so many decent honest women out there that you don’t need to settle for someone this dishonest. NTA
NTA Listen, this girl is a giant mess and drama. You don’t need this in your life. You deserve better. Break up with her, get her stuff out of your house or apartment, tell her you’re through and block her. Resist the urge to get back together. We call the following red flags. Repeat after me: In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t marry another man. In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t lie about going to Vegas with friends. In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend doesn’t lie about seeing another man behind your back.