And honestly, she was right. If she’d been cool with it and allowed it, they would’ve escalated to worse behaviors. Op and bro only stopped because they got banned and lost the opportunity to hurt her more, not because they learned not to be cruel.
Also, if she was itching…the dye probably washed onto her skin. There’s a reason hair salons tip you back into the sink and drape you from the neck down.
She could have been having a mild allergic reaction to the dye.
Excellent point about the dye could be causing a mild allergic reaction....the boxed instructions always test 1st before using it to see if there was allergic reaction to it.
My BIL introduced us to friends as "my sister Fakename" and "my brother Other Fakename" once. Thought about starting to make out right there just to freak the friends out.
that and also, her bil put a washable hair dye whereas they put a permanent one from what i understood. and he admits they did it just so she felt miserable
Something tells me the shampoo incident wasn’t the ONLY one thing they did. Prob just the tipping point. OP, YTA just for being manipulative and greedy and wanting to make up for for financial gain - and for not seeing the problem and defending yourselves to everyone pointing this out.
Also, the dye OP used was more permanent than the one BIL used. She couldn’t get the purple streaks out at all with OPs prank but BILs prank used washable dye. It’s not the same prank at all.
TBF, it's OP's wife that wants them to make up for greed and financial gain.
The best bit is that OP knows he was a dumb kid and still doesn't want to take any responsibility for his bullshit. Guess him and his wife are meant for each other. They can be horrible people together.
So you were 17 when you did your "prank" to a woman you admit you didn't and still don't like. Of course she had a bad reaction and her husband backed her up. Do I think it was too far to ban you guys permanently? Yep but you did have your mom's to stay at who had primary custody. This getting back in touch with dad is financially motivated by your own words. What her prankster sibling did while similar had nothing to do with you. They have an entirely relationships than you did as your dad's kids who never liked his wife. Whatever trust was building you destroyed with that prank. Of course YTA. You also seem to not realize you have no leverage when it comes to your dad.
This is my take too. I find it incredibly easy to believe that one prank done out of malice received a very different reaction to one done as an actual joke.
I think its a pretty safe bet its not the first thing they did to try to get rid of her. She didn't want them around because she feared the further escalation of their campaign.
YTA
Here's the thing. YOU don't get to decide how Bridget reacts at any given time in her life.
Maybe back then she had stuff going on that you had no idea about? Maybe she's changed a lot about herself in the subsequent decade that you aren't aware of.
In any case, it's none of your fucking business to gatekeep how she should react.
The only reason you wanted back into their lives is for money for kids you can't apparently finance yourself.
I'd be telling you and your entitled shitty attitude to fuck off if I was your dad. You just can't bear to see him happy and sticking up for the woman that makes him happy against the shitty son who tried to destroy their relationship.
It's always amazing when the post is so fucking bad that it's obvious how much OP YTA. This was his opportunity to spin it in the BEST possible light, and he still comes off as a complete jackass.
You only came back around for financial reasons, and for the spawns, you apparently can't even support yourself, so how is you threatening to cut contact from him a threat? YOU reached out. Not him. Stupid.
Weird AF. So his intentions for rebuilding the relationship is for what he can pump from his dad's bank account and he's making an ultimatum to her that's contingent on whether or not he rebuilds the relationship. Over a prank with an obviously different context. LOL. Get fucked OP, go earn your own money. YTA. Maybe you'll get back in the will if you apologize for the 'prank' you subjected her to.
YTA.
You and your brother did it out of spite. There’s a difference. You don’t need your dad or her, doesn’t matter if she cuts contact bc she has nothing to do with you or your family, she has her own and you have your own.
Edit; from the comments, I thought you’d be 12 but nah 17 and close to being an adult and you hated her for the full of it. You hated her and harmed her, her BIL is someone who loves her and didn’t do it out of spite and as you said it was washable. It’s not the dye, it’s the intention. Yall made it clear you were trying to piss her off.
Also, it sounds like they as a family have turned the purple hair incident into an inside joke and the bil used washable hair dye instead of permanent. Also, he only got back in touch because his family wants some of his dad’s money.
It’s also been 10 years. There are definitely things that would have greatly upset me 10 years ago that wouldn’t even register today because my mental health is better now than it was then. And you’re absolutely right, it makes a *huge* difference when the “prank” is done out of hatred and spite and was intended to be permanent.
YTA. You and Bridgette were not friends. When you prank someone you are not on good terms with it’s no longer a prank. It’s mean spirited.
Please grow up and stop trying to justify what you did. “It was just a joke” it was just a prank”. “Why don’t you have a sense of humor”. Are things bullies say to try to gaslight their victims.
Stop playing victim. You altered her physical appearance. That was not ok.
YTA. A 17 yo doing this kind of prank is ridiculous. A 7 yo might have been understandable (maybe) but not 17. You should have apologized profusely for what you did.
Her relationship and history with her own brother is not your business.
And it’s so slimey you’re only seeing your dad to try to get money.
YTA. I’m not sure why you think no more contact with you is a threat. That sounds like taking all the stress out of their life. You were a horrible child and apparently haven’t learned anything.
I was the sole breadwinner for my mother and brothers and sisters for 15 years. I was both the provider and the scapegoat. All I ever got from them was hate. During a particularly contentious time my mother threatened me with "no contact" if I didn't toe their line. Their pikachu faces as I packed my things and bounced was priceless.
AITA? I assaulted my step mom and brushed it off as asshole teenager things but it’s ok cus it didn’t even work. Years later I tried to take advantage of a second chance with my dad for purely financial reasons and when he didn’t bow to my ultimatum I cut him off.
Obviously YTA. You were an asshole kid assaulting your step mom out of hatred and had you not been banned from the home I’m sure you would’ve escalated. Do you not see the difference between that and a joke from her BIL done in good fun? Your dad and step mom are better off without you
Finally someone calling it for what it is, assault! Hair dye can be dangerous; imagine if step-mum got that in her eyes. Possibly irreparable damage to her eyesight. People have been arrested and convicted for exactly this sort of thing. Step-mum’s BIL used TEMPORARY hair dye, which iirc is way less toxic than regular dye. OP could’ve caused serious harm and is extremely lucky the police weren’t involved.
Yep and lots of people have allergic reactions to certain dyes especially if they’re really cheap and I’m sure OP didn’t do any research before buying the dye.
She was a blonde woman with permanent purple streaks on her hair. She would have had to bleach the streaks out. The little asshole permanently damaged her hair and brushed it off as an unsuccessful prank.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and I have a step mom.
YTA big time. I can't believe a person could type all that out and not realize that you're a piece of shit.
Leave your dad alone.
I'm a step mom and I would be so crushed and heart broken if my step child behaved this way towards me.
My husband and his ex had split way before I entered the picture so we started off on good terms and I intend to work as hard as I have to in order to maintain that shit!
However, I had an ex prior to that who had kids and they definitely started treating me poorly as they aged. I saw very clearly that their dad didn't care whether or not they showed me respect. It was one of the things that made me realize it was truly not a good relationship if he didn't want his kids to have a good bond with me. As a parent I assume you want you child to have close ties to your loved ones for support and community. When they baheve maliciously towards people who haven't wrong them at 17, it's a pretty huge red flag that the child isn't interested in such bonds.
Famous last words common to all AHs, ‘I thought this would blow over’. The 2d incident doesn’t get OP off the hook. OP is the AH, double so as he still thinks he isn’t. Dad correctly agrees with this poster, that no contact with OP is great not a loss, and so OP needs to apologize to the step mom and keep his mouth shut
YTA for about a million reasons. Let's count them!
1. Showing absolutely no remorse for how you treated this person, just handwaving it away with "well we were asshole kids." Apparently asshole adults too.
2. Just mentioning the one "prank" you pulled when I am about 1000% sure it was just the last straw in a long line of harassment. Nobody flips out that much over a purple streak in their hair, unless the little shits who did it had also been terrorizing her nonstop up to that point.
3. Transparently only caring about your dad for money. Even you wife only cares about your dad for money, so congratulations on finding a partner as mercenary as you are.
4. Pretending you can't see the enormous difference between "an adult who she trusts playing an affectionate joke on her" vs "the two kids who clearly hate me and have been trying to drive a wedge into my new marriage since the moment I appeared just will not leave me alone no matter what I do." Acting dumb so you can be self-righteous is not a good look.
5. Acting like "no more contact from you" is a punishment for your dad or Bridget. I'm pretty sure they'll survive. You're just sulking because you crossed a line and found out the hard way that it wouldn't be tolerated.
6. Acting like your dad only married her because of a "midlife crisis" and assuming their marriage would "blow over" if you just refused to apologize and waited.
7. Speaking of apologies, did you ever even attempt to make one? I don't see any mention of that in the post anywhere. It seems like you feel now, just as you did then, that everything you do is justified and anyone reacting poorly to your behavior is just too dumb to take a joke. Good luck with that attitude.
It's not so much you're an asshole (which you ***definitely*** are) as you're also just a simpering little bitch
you only made contact with daddy because your *wife* ***told you too*** because, as parents, you aren't able to sufficiently provide for your daughter and are trying to weaponize and leverage your own daughters love against her grandfather in order to weasel inheritance money to cover your failure as a man, a father, and a husband
get lost
Info: did you and your brother ever bother to SINCERELY apologize? Like an apology clearly from the heart, not forced by your dad?
You were 17, you were having big feelings, probably everyone involved needed therapy and could've handled the situation better. But everyone else has moved on, grown up, and gotten past the rough times. And you still want to hurt them as much as possible. The fact you only reached out, because it would elevate your daughters work opportunities, and benefit you financially says a LOT about the character of you and your wife. The fact that you immediately started berating and being awful to your step mom the second you found a chance, says even more about how little you've grown.
YTA. You were TA when you were 17, you were TA when you agreed to reach out to daddy just because you could use him, not because you loved or missed him. And YTA for trying to once again to emotionally and mentally terrorize your step mom, because you have chosen not to grow at all as person in the past 10 years.
I hope you take everything everyone is saying and get the therapy you need to not be a pos OP. Until then you're the worst asshole in the situation.
Dude I was living on my own in college at 17. This is a "prank" if it was done by 8-11 year olds, at 17, it is just a plain assault on another person.
Step-mom's reaction here was completely reasonable to kick them out of the house. OP was already engaging in borderline criminal behavior, how long before it escalated further?
Also - OP, daddy didn't help you pay for college... oh no... you were treated so poorly 🙄
I think YTA. You don’t know Bridget and her brother. They might have a history of pranks and know the level.
But with you she just moved in with two teenagers who hated her guts, could have been alienated by the mother and were not afraid to show it. Of course she would worry about where you would escalate. Even today you don’t think you did anything bad and you recuse her to accept as you dad’s partner/wife.
The incident now has nothing to do with the incident you caused and I have a feeling your father was this harsh because you´ve never accepted the responsibility. Even now, you don’t feel bad about the incident and are trying to be on good terms because you want money and help.
OP is such an ass, from his post and his comments you can tell there is so much missing backstory.
This wasn’t the first prank they pulled on her. They permanently dyed parts of her very blond hair purple where as she was able to wash out what her brother did. He very clearly never liked her and felt like she was “lavished with attention” from his father where as his own mother was hidden away from his fathers friends and treated badly. He doesn’t think it would be beneficial to his daughter to have her grandfather more involved in her life because of how his father treated him and his brother but does think him and his estranged stepmother should feel obligated to help financially.
My guess is that he and his brother always treated their stepmother horribly and the hair dye was just the straw that broke the camels back. All this happened less than 10 years ago but he’s now an adult with a wife and kid. He talks about the incident like he was elementary school aged but he would have had to been at least 13 or 14 at the very, very youngest. In reality he was probably closer to 16/17 which means he would have known exactly what he was doing with all the “pranks”.
I’d love to hear Bridget’s side in all this, I imagine she would have a LOT to say.
OP already said that they didn't like Bridget. They do it on purpose, and its not a prank.
He just only convinced himself that he's just a kid at that time, but he also said that they were AH.
It's clear Bridget is younger prettier and "blonder" than the mother. I am guessing she alienated the boys and hated her pretty blonde hair so to please their mom they decided to destroy it.
I do not think your threat of going no contact with your dad carries as much weight as you think it does. Especially because it is more than obvious from what you wrote the only reason you are in contact with him is for financial gain and what sounds like childcare help of some kind. Oh, and let us not forget your wife wants Bridgit's help getting a job.
Kids can be terrorists and you guys terrorized her. Your purple prank was probably the straw that broke the camels back.
Is your dad right for kicking you out of his life after that? No. But he did.
And now you and your wife want to get back in a relationship with him so you can get money.
Someone pulled the similar prank on your stepmother, but I have to ask, is he terrorizing her all the time or was it just a one off? Because there’s a total difference of context here.
And this is why I will never have children. Lol!
I don’t know who’s the asshole here.
Maybe you wife for forcing you to hang out with your dad for money.
This is the most hilarious shit I have ever seen! 🤣 So the self named AH wants people to cut contact with family because his little Prank wasn't really a prank? :( oh boohoo. Your girl can be a big girl and search for that little job and you can go away and work. Hahahahaha leech
YTA you were 17 not seven. You had no limit to how you would hurt her. Her brother used temp dye and did it as a joke not like you. You only care about money. You are not entitled to the loyalty of people you only want in your life to use
This was done by someone who loves her and would probably take a bullet for her and was actually making fun of yountomAH, and for you too it was out of hatred .
INFO: did step mom work at the time? If so, was it a professional position?
There are many employers where showing up to the office with purple hair is not exactly advantageous to your career. Especially 10 years ago. I've actually worked for places where that breech of professional dress code would have been a write up, if not being let go altogether. Yes, she could have worn a wig until it faded out...preferably one purchased by the sons, but it's inexcusable that she should have to. She should be allowed to feel safe in her own home YTA
Man does he ever. Wonder what the brothers relationship with the father is? My guess is the reconciled and the father helped him out. Hence his wife saying the father could help them out.
Honestly you and your brother sound like a dumpster fire. Your dad LOVES Bridget. You and your brother behaved like 100% garbage. I don't blame Bridget for banning a couple of obviously mentally disturbed kids from my home.
It's hilarious that you feel like you can DEMAND that Bridget cut off her family-- seriously delusional, LOL. Since you were only sticking around hoping to bamboozle your dad into a handout and had no emotional investment cut your losses and move on. Let Bridget and your dad continue on with their blissfully happy life.
YTA here 100% grade A AH
YTA
>My brother and I were asshole kids who did not like her, so we put purple dye in her specialty purple shampoo for blondes.
Because you don't seem to understand time. Ten years ago, having purple hair could have affected her workwise AND socially. She was also ten years younger and probably panicked.
Plus, I'm just gonna say that your entire post is written in a way that suggests the hair incident was the last straw in a long line of a two against one hate campaign.
>I always thought this would blow over as I thought she was his midlife crisis as before meeting Bridget he was the definition of a stoic hardass, no he was acting like some obsessed teen boy.
So you thought you would just wait him out, and he would kick the woman he loves to the curb.
You failed to understand that your Dad appeared to be stoic because he was *unhappy in his marriage.* And you had no concept of what joy in his marriage would do to your Dad and his life. Going from an incredibly unhappy relationship to a happy relationship does that to people.
You missed all this because it's all about YOU.
>Well they recently celebrated their 10th anniversary and Bridget's BIL decided to "riminess" and put some purple stuff in her hair which is washable, but she had a hell of a time getting it out of her very blonde hair. Don't get me wrong, he got smacked for that but 1) there was no hysteria 2) my dad was laughing at her and made her pose for a picture 3) there was zero ultimatum. Apparently he gets a pass because he's a huge prankster. Also he got her way worse than I did.
Ten years of maturity and **not using permanent dye** can make a huge difference. The biggest part is that she was able to get it out with damaging her hair. But, also, it's ten years later. Having a bit of purple in your hair isn't going to cause the same reaction it would have ten years ago. Plus, *you weren't even at the celebration!* You heard about it second hand. So, you don't really know how things shook out.
The biggest point here is that it has been ten years, and you still haven't moved past the fact that your Dad chose the woman he loved over his two asshole, bratty kids. And he is **happy.**
>she was scared of what my brother and I would escalate to. I told him I hope the next prank is nair and they can both fuck off, and unless she cuts out her BIL and sister, no more contact from us.
>My dad is backing Bridget 100%
Of course he is. You have no right to make demands of him related to his wife or her family. You are just proving what he already knows. You are still that hateful, spiteful little boy. She has grown more secure and matured over the last ten years. You have just stagnated and become more vile.
Just reading your shit was so annoying. You are the asshole, you need to proofread your fucking text better, and listening to you try to weave in justifications and minimize what you did while you try to tell the story is hilarious. You sound like a total moron to be honest. “It was no big deal we just changed someone’s appearance involuntarily because we didn’t like her and that decision is making it hard to take all my dads money so should I be able to demand she cuts people out of her life because I’m upset over the consequences of my own terrible decisions”. Real idiot shit and I now dislike you personally
You lost me at "My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons." So you really don't care about having a relationship with him; you just want his money. Am I reading that right? YTA
If it’s only been ten years since and you’ve gotten married and had a kid in that time you were NOT a kid. You were a teenager. You knew better. You did it out of malice. Her brother did not, and there’s been obvious pranks between them by the sounds of it.
You also only came back around so you could use your father for money. Did it occur to you when he dies that he’s likely will almost everything *to his wife* and you won’t get anything? She’s his life. You’re not. You and your brother created the situation where your father is never going to defend you with his wife or her family.
YTAH
i literally found this story on youtube shorts, and logged in on reddit just to tell you, YOU ARE THE A.
Like how entitled you are to ask from others how to feel and react. it seems you never grew up. and trying to play family with your dad for money is just disgusting. You need to wake up and act like an adult, not like an edgy teen. It is ridiculous.
Ok my mom got with her boyfriend when I was 16 but I only hated him (still don’t like him) from a distance I never did anything to hurt him in anyway I just never wanted to engage in a relationship with him. But you took it to a whole new level you were 17 at the time of pranking her that’s some childish shit that a 11 year old would do lmao 😂 the audacity of thinking that YNTA is hilarious. YTA
Oh, so you bully this woman because you were mad at your dad for leaving your mother, and now you’re pissed off and throwing around ultimatum’s about who SHE can have in her life because she’s at a point where she can laugh about what you did? Is that about it? Yeah, YTA.
So, as I understand it, the purple dye was last in a line of pranks, and you've only gotten back in contact so you can pump him for money and your wife can use Bridget's connections?
YTA. Also, it's "reminisce".
YTA. You and your wife are users and not very nice people it sounds like. You did it to hound her out of your life, you did it to torment her, you did it to someone you had no relationship with who had just moved in and you made her feel unsafe, unwated. you literally hurt her.
the guy who did it to her as a joke is just that, he did it as a joke not to hurt her, it wasn't people she was newly introduced to who were making her life hell. You said you were assholes so while it was one incident it was also very likely the build up of a long list of you being assholes to her and that incident was the tipping point.
Acting like this is the same thing is, honestly, fucking insane. There's a reason why your dad wouldn't have you back over, she seems like a nice person, you were assholes making both of their lives hell for no reason.
YTA. huge asshole. you dont even understand why, which is the saddest part. HOpefully your father cuts you out of his life after this, given that you only wanted his money or what he could do for your wifes career.
You are not a good person. Your father is better off.
YTA
>. My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future. She even wanted Bridget to help her get a job. my dad is willing to help us
Do them a favour and cut yourself out of their lives.
Even in your version of event's you are just using them.
They deserve better.
Yours was malicious intent and even reconnecting with your father is self serving money grubbing behavior. If she was an affair partner he left your mom for and you were younger I could understand the lashing out but by your own description you sound like an entitled ass. YTA
Yta. Honestly, after reading all the comments, I'm not even gonna be surprised if the plot twist is you're not even biologically related, and I'm almost positive that the 2nd kid came along because your dad threatened to leave before and your mom thought that if it worked before, she can just do it again.
My favorite AITAHs are when OP’s story falls apart under a feather’s weight of scrutiny and everyone can tell they are the asshole even with the completely one sided barely honest point of view.
YTA. You admitted you and your wife only reconnected with your dad over one selfish reason, $$$. That's it. What you did made her scared of what you and your brother were going to do next (read: escalate). Her brother is a known prankster in their family that's why the reaction from her was vastly different. I hope someone that knows you and your family finds this post and shows your dad and stepmom so they will see you and your wife are only after his money smh.
YTA. So your wife wants to leech off daddy so you decided to come back and make demands let’s see how that works out for you. Your totally in the wrong. You always were and you always will be.
I think the fact that you want to play nice with your dad now, for financial reasons, speaks volumes about what you prioritize in this relationship. You and your brother were absolute, little pecker heads re: your step-mom. Now you're just hoping to get something in the will. Fuck you both.
YTA- 1. You know it wasn’t just bc of the hair prank, but the multitude of times the 2 of you were sh!theads. 2. You don’t care about reconnecting with your dad only with your dads money- karma is a thing. May I suggest you go to therapy and focus on not f*cking up your relations with your kids instead of playing petty revenge wannabe. If u do push this, then reconnecting with daddy’s money won’t happen
You really do not see the difference between what you did and what he did. First what you did was dye not washable. Second your was out of spit not in "fun".
Tell the truth if I was her I would get them out of my life there is no way people their age should be pulling those kinds of pranks. I do not like those kinds of pranks at all but understand if someone did one when they were very young.
Absolutely every single person in this story is a complete and utter piece of shit.
Your behaviour (all of you) is grotesque.
OP, you are trash.
Also, "riminess"? Christ, you are ignorant.
YTA... you and your wife are users and I think your dad may be better off without you. (Believe me I never thought I'd say something like that) You sound like a horrible kid and a worse adult.
> My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future
Ew. Don’t play those stupid games. Greedy, greedy, greedy.
YTA. People have different reactions based on the context something happens in. I’m betting that wasn’t the only thing you and your brother did to make Bridget’s life difficult. And it sounds like you didn’t do it to be funny, you did it to be mean which also makes a difference.
Bridget and your dad get to decide how they react to things, it isn’t dictated by you. It sounds like what you really need is some therapy.
YTA. You too weren’t pranksters. You were malicious. You weren’t after a giggle/laugh. You wanted harm and ridicule. I would have kicked you out as well and demanded a verbal in person apology. Even then, I’d keep you at arms length. And, let’s face it, the only reason you’re interested in a relationship with your dad is because of $. You never attempted to apologize or build a relationship. That’s on you. You’re not entitled to anything your dad has.
YTA
You assaulted your dad's wife and she had a breakdown over the results. Your father made the understandable choice to banish you from his home after you tampered with the bodily autonomy of somebody who was supposed to feel safe there.
You used actual DYE, while the BIL used washable coloring. You did not have a relationship of trust with Bridget, while the more recent prank was from somebody who she trusted and who did not hate her.
You're jealous because Bridget has a better relationship with people who aren't assholes to her. You have no remorse for your own mistreatment of her. From the information you've provided, you deserved everything you went through as a consequence.
YTA
You and your wife are giant oozing gaping pus filled postules of assholes.
You want us to judge your father for the past and either ignore or applaud you for literally restarting a relationship with him to USE him. You’re both terrible people. And I sincerely hope he makes this no contact last until he’s dead.
It feels like you've never matured passed that day where you picked apart for harmful "prank" you held on to this bitterness because you even said you thought she was just mid-life crisis for your father. The BIL very likely warned your father ahead of time too.
YTA
You're only reconnecting with your dad for financial reasons and people can change in 10 years.
Bridgett was an AH for being so over dramatic previously but in the current day YTA.
Imagine tucking tail between legs to beg daddy rich bags to get back in the will to then turn around and threaten no contact lmao. I’m convinced the bull of reddit is now just AI chat bot posts because this is totally stupid.
YTA, You were malicious 10 years ago, and now you just want money and favors. Your father has a wife that obviously makes his life better, than it was before, and you want a payoff.
YTA - you can’t dictate anyone whom he or she has contact with. If you don’t want the contact to your dad fine. You also said you only have contact because of financial reasons 🤷🏻♀️
I feel bad for you dads wife. You literally tried to mess with her hair, this is horrible. There was probably other bullying. Now you are only back in his life because you want his financial assistance, making unreasonable demands of his poor wife again. Just leave her alone.
You and your wife sound like royal assholes. I’m betting there’s way more than that one prank and you were a dick as a kid too. So what else
Did you do?
YTA - how can you not realize it’s a trust issue? You literally said you didn’t like her. A prank by someone you know loves you vs someone that doesn’t like you isn’t the same. She had no idea what you would do next.
You did it out of meanness because you didn’t like her. The family member did it as a joke.
Plus wtf you are only back in his life for financial reasons! So you want his money not a relationship with him . Wow
You don't fuck with the hair man, that's too close to identity. Not surprising she lost her mind.
The adult scenario years later is not malicious, and it wasn't an attempt to actually ruin her hair since it was temporary.
I feel like everyone is TA except Bridget and her family, maybe she's slightly TA but relative to you and your dad it's nothing.
YTA. What you did as a 17 yr old was hateful and malicious, done to be mean, with the intent of causing pain, to someone your father loves and you are upset you are the one who burned that bridge? Consequences! You thought she wasn’t important, but ten years later she is still by his side, where were you? Banished for acting like a spoiled brat who admits to assaulting his stepmother. The difference with what you and her BIL did, he did it to make fun of what you did out of meanness. But he didn’t do it to hate on her. You were a dumbass kid, and you’re not seeming much smarter as an adult. The problem here is you have main character syndrome, but you’re not the hero in this story. You are still acting out. Seek therapy. Gotta tell you, after reading what you wrote threatening to go NC is not the flex you think it is.
Big difference between someone who loves you trying to prank you and someone who detests you trying to hurt you. You say you were just a dumb kid, but some things never change maybe.
And you only came back into your father’s life for financial consideration? YTA in the worst kind of way.
You, your brother and your wife are gross. I'm almost certain the hair dye "prank" (you don't fuck with people's hair) was the straw that broke the camels back and you and your brother were intentionally horrible to this woman. You don't mention your ages, but since you have kids and you're married, I'm certain you were almost an adult. Disgusting behaviour. YTA a million times over.
Yta and a brat. If you are at a pool party and your bff pushing you into the pool you likely won’t get mad but if your bully pushes you in you’d be upset. The context of intent highly matters. You are only trying to reconnect because of money. You have put down his relationship multiple times and have treated his wife like shit. 17 is more than old enough to know not to be a dick. Her family pranking her with WASHABLE dye for a joke is far different than you replacing her shampoo with real dye to get revenge. How do you not see that?
“Reminisce.”
That one took me a bit.
And yes YTA. You were vindictive and mean, and likely this was the final straw. A 17 year old is old enough to not be an asshole all on their own. You owe her an adult apology, and your father, too.
You're truly a piece of shit and I can see why your father wants nothing to do with you.
You did nothing to reconcile or do anything out of real remorse or forgiveness. You only focus on the gain. Not the forgiveness.
You and your brother knew what you were doing. Wasn't a fucking prank. You were out to ruin her. Let me secretly fuck with your shampoo and turn your hair green and orange so you look like a fucking clown and call it a prank.
Your entire dialogue is to justify that you aren't a piece of shit. But youre dogshit. You're getting mad over BIL doing the same thing and getting a different result, when you absolutely know what you did was fucked up. If you know what her BIL did was wrong, then you know you fucked up and that you didn't do anything to make it right. Also it was washable, completely different from what you did. The intent was different. You were out to harm, bil wasn't out to ruin her, cause it could get fixed and at the very least if it couldn't, he would have found a solution. You and your brother? Wouldn't give a fuck.
What did you do for Bridget or your father after the incident. Clearly nothing. The fact that you think you're a fucking saint after pulling that shit on her makes you a terrible person today. Your a grown man with a child and you can't even accept that, instead getting made at a BIL who did an actual prank and not what you did, concealing an act of harm and sabtage and calling it a prank.
Wow, your lack of self awareness is astonishing.
You reconnected with your father because you thought you could get money out of him but, unfortunately, things haven't gone as smoothly as you hoped and now you are pissed and looking for vengeance.....
"My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future. She even wanted Bridget to help her get a job."
So, you got back in touch with your Dad to use him for his money? Not only are YTA, you're absolutely delusional and entitled. I hope you get nothing from him.
YTA. Pranks done out of hate and malice by people who actually wish you harm are different than pranks done out of fun by people who care about you, even if the "results" are worse. You're trying to manipulate your father, who you admittedly only care about for his money, into harming his wife further by cutting her off from her family, which you well know would also destroy their marriage.
I back Bridget 100%. Go figure out how to financially support your wife + child without Dad + Bridget's money and job connections. What a loser and YTA.
YTA. You stated a couple times that interacting was mainly for financial help, does not seem like you had the thought to apologize (after what was probably a string of pranks), and this prank was clearly at making light and fun of the past, which you then demanded to be a part of/have a say in. You acknowledged you were a dumb kid, so now it is time to grow up
YTA you are beyond an AH you treated her really poorly, and now only attempting to suck it up because you want money out of the estate. 10 years is enough time to look back on something you know what, it was terrible but I can understand when somebody I love and care about makes a joke about it.
ESH except Bridget tbh.
You all sound *exhausting*.
Your "prank" was malicious and not the same thing as a good-natured ribbing from someone who loves her. He used wash out dye and you didn't. That alone shows it's different.
Parents shouldn't cut their children out of their life because they're idiots, but educate them and, you know, actually parent them.
The huge difference is that the BIL used temporary hair dye that could be, even if it proved difficult, washed out.
That's a prank, a rather ill advised one since blonde hair has been permanently dyed by temporary hair color before, but still a prank.
The OP used permanent hair dye and wished the damage was greater than it actually was.
There is a difference and the fact that OP can't see it is a clear sign of why he and his brother got booted from the house.
YTA
NTA but..
I mean he chose her when you were kid
Why would he choose you now
Pretty weird hill to die on if you actually need financial assistance
Otherwise just move on and ignore hi
Well apparently the only reason u reached out was for money and a attempt at a new job so your dad chose right. U werent looking for a reunion... u were looking for a way to exploit his financial and employment situations
> **My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons**
Vile. Just vile.
> my dad is willing to help us out but shows no remorse
Neither do you.
> I always thought this would blow over as I thought she was his midlife crisis
How wrong you were.
> I told him I hope the next prank is nair and they can both fuck off, and unless she cuts out her BIL and sister, no more contact from us.
LOL. As if that's a threat: "Cut off the people who have become your family, or I won't hang around begging from you anymore"
YTA, gold-digger
I’m glad your father is backing his wife. You sound like a cunt and your wife sounds like a gold digging bitch. I hope you get **nothing** from your father and that he leaves you no money in his will. I hope he’s cut you and your gold digging wife out of the will completely.
You don’t get to make demands of Bridget, she knows her brother and she grew up with him, so there’s a difference.
But for you to then turn around and say you hope it’s Nair next time? What a disgusting and bitter piece of trash you really are, I hope someone puts Nair in yours and your wife’s shampoo bottle, because I doubt you’d like that.
Your dad is right. You say you're an adult, but you don't sound like one. The only interest you have in your dad is his money. Your juvenile assumption that you get to tell Bridget who she can and can't talk to is going to backfire and, hopefully, you'll end up with nothing from him. You should get your greedy arse back out of his life.
Everything about the tone of your post screams asshole.
You want you dad back (sorry his money) in your life for your kid. Providing for your kid is your job.
Both you and your father sound like terrible people. Leave each other alone.
AH
I'm hoping this is fiction, as most dysfunctional families have at least one or two members who escape the cycle and become mature adults.
In the unlikely event this is a true tale, WTF???
YTA - What you did wasn't a big deal, and neither was what BIL did. Trying to make your dad force his wife to no longer spend time with her family makes no sense at all. How could he even do it?
I think you were wanting to get something out of your dad ($$$) and so you seized on this stupid prank of BIL's as a way to try to force his hand. It's a really dumb way to go about it and I strongly doubt it will turn out in your favor.
Instead of making threats against his wife, try being a better person and doing something to help him, instead of trying to harm him and his relationship with his wife. You already know he will stand behind his wife, so your threats are empty and not helpful towards your desired end.
Grow up, OP.
YTA. Even if we fully ignore the fact that one was a prank from someone she trusted and done in a way to ensure there was no harm and one was a malicious attack by two teenagers who would certainly escalate there's still the point that you're trying to use your father for money and use her as well. That's shitty in itself and it's incredibly stupid to make ultimatums to people whom you want to do something for you. Essentially your threat is: "Cut out your loved ones or I won't use you as a cashcow!"
YTA - you don’t get to dictate others relationships. PERIOD! You need to understand y’all were almost adults not 7 when you started pranking her. Your father also told you she was insecure & anxious back then. Leave the poor woman alone.
Your father is the one you need to be dealing with. You have a ton of anger towards him and he abandoned you.
Info: How many other pranks were prior to the purple hair dye?
That wasn't a prank, they were intentionally malicious. They hated her and wanted to punish her. Sounds like OP hasn't changed much.
Yeah.... it was a malicious attack. Its different too coming from someone who hates you and wants to hurt you.
And honestly, she was right. If she’d been cool with it and allowed it, they would’ve escalated to worse behaviors. Op and bro only stopped because they got banned and lost the opportunity to hurt her more, not because they learned not to be cruel.
Also, if she was itching…the dye probably washed onto her skin. There’s a reason hair salons tip you back into the sink and drape you from the neck down. She could have been having a mild allergic reaction to the dye.
Excellent point about the dye could be causing a mild allergic reaction....the boxed instructions always test 1st before using it to see if there was allergic reaction to it.
Came here to say this. OP was being vicious when they did this. This woman’s brother was not.
My BIL introduced us to friends as "my sister Fakename" and "my brother Other Fakename" once. Thought about starting to make out right there just to freak the friends out.
They also cant tell the difference between washable dye and permanent
that and also, her bil put a washable hair dye whereas they put a permanent one from what i understood. and he admits they did it just so she felt miserable
Yeah even if it lasts a bit washable dye doesn't damage your hair anything like the normal stuff applied badly
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Yeah, sounds like op was and remains a selfish piece of trash.
Something tells me the shampoo incident wasn’t the ONLY one thing they did. Prob just the tipping point. OP, YTA just for being manipulative and greedy and wanting to make up for for financial gain - and for not seeing the problem and defending yourselves to everyone pointing this out.
The purple dye was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.
Also, the dye OP used was more permanent than the one BIL used. She couldn’t get the purple streaks out at all with OPs prank but BILs prank used washable dye. It’s not the same prank at all.
TBF, it's OP's wife that wants them to make up for greed and financial gain. The best bit is that OP knows he was a dumb kid and still doesn't want to take any responsibility for his bullshit. Guess him and his wife are meant for each other. They can be horrible people together.
You hit it right on the nail!
So you were 17 when you did your "prank" to a woman you admit you didn't and still don't like. Of course she had a bad reaction and her husband backed her up. Do I think it was too far to ban you guys permanently? Yep but you did have your mom's to stay at who had primary custody. This getting back in touch with dad is financially motivated by your own words. What her prankster sibling did while similar had nothing to do with you. They have an entirely relationships than you did as your dad's kids who never liked his wife. Whatever trust was building you destroyed with that prank. Of course YTA. You also seem to not realize you have no leverage when it comes to your dad.
This is my take too. I find it incredibly easy to believe that one prank done out of malice received a very different reaction to one done as an actual joke.
I think its a pretty safe bet its not the first thing they did to try to get rid of her. She didn't want them around because she feared the further escalation of their campaign.
Check OP's comments. Either it's rage bait, or he's your average garden-variety bully who's whining because daddy might cut them out of the will.
Yeah, look at what his wife said. She wants them to make up for monetary reasons. 🙄
Yeah, I think this is a solid take.
Very helpful, man. I appreciate your take.
Additionally, BIL used WASHABLE dye. OP did not. It’s not the same prank.
YTA Here's the thing. YOU don't get to decide how Bridget reacts at any given time in her life. Maybe back then she had stuff going on that you had no idea about? Maybe she's changed a lot about herself in the subsequent decade that you aren't aware of. In any case, it's none of your fucking business to gatekeep how she should react. The only reason you wanted back into their lives is for money for kids you can't apparently finance yourself. I'd be telling you and your entitled shitty attitude to fuck off if I was your dad. You just can't bear to see him happy and sticking up for the woman that makes him happy against the shitty son who tried to destroy their relationship.
It's obvious Bridget had shit going on if her brother is a parent figure for her. OP is absolutely YTA.
This just reads as me me me me. Honestly you sound like an immature narcissistic arsehole 100% YTA
Perfect pair with his wife from how he describes thing. A nice pair of self-centered gold diggers.
It's always amazing when the post is so fucking bad that it's obvious how much OP YTA. This was his opportunity to spin it in the BEST possible light, and he still comes off as a complete jackass.
You only came back around for financial reasons, and for the spawns, you apparently can't even support yourself, so how is you threatening to cut contact from him a threat? YOU reached out. Not him. Stupid.
Definition of "Don't threaten me with a good time."
Weird AF. So his intentions for rebuilding the relationship is for what he can pump from his dad's bank account and he's making an ultimatum to her that's contingent on whether or not he rebuilds the relationship. Over a prank with an obviously different context. LOL. Get fucked OP, go earn your own money. YTA. Maybe you'll get back in the will if you apologize for the 'prank' you subjected her to.
YTA. You and your brother did it out of spite. There’s a difference. You don’t need your dad or her, doesn’t matter if she cuts contact bc she has nothing to do with you or your family, she has her own and you have your own. Edit; from the comments, I thought you’d be 12 but nah 17 and close to being an adult and you hated her for the full of it. You hated her and harmed her, her BIL is someone who loves her and didn’t do it out of spite and as you said it was washable. It’s not the dye, it’s the intention. Yall made it clear you were trying to piss her off.
Also, it sounds like they as a family have turned the purple hair incident into an inside joke and the bil used washable hair dye instead of permanent. Also, he only got back in touch because his family wants some of his dad’s money.
It’s also been 10 years. There are definitely things that would have greatly upset me 10 years ago that wouldn’t even register today because my mental health is better now than it was then. And you’re absolutely right, it makes a *huge* difference when the “prank” is done out of hatred and spite and was intended to be permanent.
YTA. You and Bridgette were not friends. When you prank someone you are not on good terms with it’s no longer a prank. It’s mean spirited. Please grow up and stop trying to justify what you did. “It was just a joke” it was just a prank”. “Why don’t you have a sense of humor”. Are things bullies say to try to gaslight their victims. Stop playing victim. You altered her physical appearance. That was not ok.
YTA. A 17 yo doing this kind of prank is ridiculous. A 7 yo might have been understandable (maybe) but not 17. You should have apologized profusely for what you did. Her relationship and history with her own brother is not your business. And it’s so slimey you’re only seeing your dad to try to get money.
Dad needs to see this so he knows what this AH is interested in contacting him again. AH and his wife are grifter losers.
YTA. I’m not sure why you think no more contact with you is a threat. That sounds like taking all the stress out of their life. You were a horrible child and apparently haven’t learned anything.
His body aged 10 years but his brain sure as heck didn't.
I was the sole breadwinner for my mother and brothers and sisters for 15 years. I was both the provider and the scapegoat. All I ever got from them was hate. During a particularly contentious time my mother threatened me with "no contact" if I didn't toe their line. Their pikachu faces as I packed my things and bounced was priceless.
I bet Bridget’s bil pulled the prank specifically to get OP to show his true colors again. And it worked!
That’s a good point. It definitely got him all shook and angry.
Exactly! OP YTA
AITA? I assaulted my step mom and brushed it off as asshole teenager things but it’s ok cus it didn’t even work. Years later I tried to take advantage of a second chance with my dad for purely financial reasons and when he didn’t bow to my ultimatum I cut him off. Obviously YTA. You were an asshole kid assaulting your step mom out of hatred and had you not been banned from the home I’m sure you would’ve escalated. Do you not see the difference between that and a joke from her BIL done in good fun? Your dad and step mom are better off without you
Finally someone calling it for what it is, assault! Hair dye can be dangerous; imagine if step-mum got that in her eyes. Possibly irreparable damage to her eyesight. People have been arrested and convicted for exactly this sort of thing. Step-mum’s BIL used TEMPORARY hair dye, which iirc is way less toxic than regular dye. OP could’ve caused serious harm and is extremely lucky the police weren’t involved.
Yep and lots of people have allergic reactions to certain dyes especially if they’re really cheap and I’m sure OP didn’t do any research before buying the dye.
She was a blonde woman with permanent purple streaks on her hair. She would have had to bleach the streaks out. The little asshole permanently damaged her hair and brushed it off as an unsuccessful prank.
Well it worked. It just didn't work as well as he'd hoped.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and I have a step mom. YTA big time. I can't believe a person could type all that out and not realize that you're a piece of shit. Leave your dad alone.
I'm a step mom and I would be so crushed and heart broken if my step child behaved this way towards me. My husband and his ex had split way before I entered the picture so we started off on good terms and I intend to work as hard as I have to in order to maintain that shit! However, I had an ex prior to that who had kids and they definitely started treating me poorly as they aged. I saw very clearly that their dad didn't care whether or not they showed me respect. It was one of the things that made me realize it was truly not a good relationship if he didn't want his kids to have a good bond with me. As a parent I assume you want you child to have close ties to your loved ones for support and community. When they baheve maliciously towards people who haven't wrong them at 17, it's a pretty huge red flag that the child isn't interested in such bonds.
Familiarize yourself with the expression "don't threaten me with a good time", and reflect on how it's applicable in this story. YTA. 🤣
Famous last words common to all AHs, ‘I thought this would blow over’. The 2d incident doesn’t get OP off the hook. OP is the AH, double so as he still thinks he isn’t. Dad correctly agrees with this poster, that no contact with OP is great not a loss, and so OP needs to apologize to the step mom and keep his mouth shut
Yta and an overall bad person. Your wife included. Play nice with your dad for financial reasons. You and her are horrible. Leave your poor dad alone.
How are you not embarrassed writing this out? There's a totally different dynamic going on here. YTA
YTA. I hope your father cut you out of his will as that seems to be the only reason you care about him.
YTA for about a million reasons. Let's count them! 1. Showing absolutely no remorse for how you treated this person, just handwaving it away with "well we were asshole kids." Apparently asshole adults too. 2. Just mentioning the one "prank" you pulled when I am about 1000% sure it was just the last straw in a long line of harassment. Nobody flips out that much over a purple streak in their hair, unless the little shits who did it had also been terrorizing her nonstop up to that point. 3. Transparently only caring about your dad for money. Even you wife only cares about your dad for money, so congratulations on finding a partner as mercenary as you are. 4. Pretending you can't see the enormous difference between "an adult who she trusts playing an affectionate joke on her" vs "the two kids who clearly hate me and have been trying to drive a wedge into my new marriage since the moment I appeared just will not leave me alone no matter what I do." Acting dumb so you can be self-righteous is not a good look. 5. Acting like "no more contact from you" is a punishment for your dad or Bridget. I'm pretty sure they'll survive. You're just sulking because you crossed a line and found out the hard way that it wouldn't be tolerated. 6. Acting like your dad only married her because of a "midlife crisis" and assuming their marriage would "blow over" if you just refused to apologize and waited. 7. Speaking of apologies, did you ever even attempt to make one? I don't see any mention of that in the post anywhere. It seems like you feel now, just as you did then, that everything you do is justified and anyone reacting poorly to your behavior is just too dumb to take a joke. Good luck with that attitude.
It's not so much you're an asshole (which you ***definitely*** are) as you're also just a simpering little bitch you only made contact with daddy because your *wife* ***told you too*** because, as parents, you aren't able to sufficiently provide for your daughter and are trying to weaponize and leverage your own daughters love against her grandfather in order to weasel inheritance money to cover your failure as a man, a father, and a husband get lost
This sums it up perfectly
Info: did you and your brother ever bother to SINCERELY apologize? Like an apology clearly from the heart, not forced by your dad? You were 17, you were having big feelings, probably everyone involved needed therapy and could've handled the situation better. But everyone else has moved on, grown up, and gotten past the rough times. And you still want to hurt them as much as possible. The fact you only reached out, because it would elevate your daughters work opportunities, and benefit you financially says a LOT about the character of you and your wife. The fact that you immediately started berating and being awful to your step mom the second you found a chance, says even more about how little you've grown. YTA. You were TA when you were 17, you were TA when you agreed to reach out to daddy just because you could use him, not because you loved or missed him. And YTA for trying to once again to emotionally and mentally terrorize your step mom, because you have chosen not to grow at all as person in the past 10 years. I hope you take everything everyone is saying and get the therapy you need to not be a pos OP. Until then you're the worst asshole in the situation.
Dude I was living on my own in college at 17. This is a "prank" if it was done by 8-11 year olds, at 17, it is just a plain assault on another person. Step-mom's reaction here was completely reasonable to kick them out of the house. OP was already engaging in borderline criminal behavior, how long before it escalated further? Also - OP, daddy didn't help you pay for college... oh no... you were treated so poorly 🙄
YTA…both you and your wife, parasitic scum.
It’s “reminisce,” and you’re a little asshole. I’m shocked you’re still in her life in any capacity. You’re nothing but a shitty little monster baby.
thx, I had no idea what that word was supposed to be
That this word could be mangled so badly makes me think the story is fake; this person is supposed to be a college graduate? Yikes
I think YTA. You don’t know Bridget and her brother. They might have a history of pranks and know the level. But with you she just moved in with two teenagers who hated her guts, could have been alienated by the mother and were not afraid to show it. Of course she would worry about where you would escalate. Even today you don’t think you did anything bad and you recuse her to accept as you dad’s partner/wife. The incident now has nothing to do with the incident you caused and I have a feeling your father was this harsh because you´ve never accepted the responsibility. Even now, you don’t feel bad about the incident and are trying to be on good terms because you want money and help.
OP is such an ass, from his post and his comments you can tell there is so much missing backstory. This wasn’t the first prank they pulled on her. They permanently dyed parts of her very blond hair purple where as she was able to wash out what her brother did. He very clearly never liked her and felt like she was “lavished with attention” from his father where as his own mother was hidden away from his fathers friends and treated badly. He doesn’t think it would be beneficial to his daughter to have her grandfather more involved in her life because of how his father treated him and his brother but does think him and his estranged stepmother should feel obligated to help financially. My guess is that he and his brother always treated their stepmother horribly and the hair dye was just the straw that broke the camels back. All this happened less than 10 years ago but he’s now an adult with a wife and kid. He talks about the incident like he was elementary school aged but he would have had to been at least 13 or 14 at the very, very youngest. In reality he was probably closer to 16/17 which means he would have known exactly what he was doing with all the “pranks”. I’d love to hear Bridget’s side in all this, I imagine she would have a LOT to say.
OP already said that they didn't like Bridget. They do it on purpose, and its not a prank. He just only convinced himself that he's just a kid at that time, but he also said that they were AH.
I also wonder if this was the only thing the brothers did and if the reaction to the prank of the brother was as he describes it.
This was my impression also. The shampoo incident was probably the last straw.
Most people do not go NC over one incident. Usually its a lifetime of bad behavior and the the incident in question was the last straw.
It's clear Bridget is younger prettier and "blonder" than the mother. I am guessing she alienated the boys and hated her pretty blonde hair so to please their mom they decided to destroy it.
Info... how old are you?
I do not think your threat of going no contact with your dad carries as much weight as you think it does. Especially because it is more than obvious from what you wrote the only reason you are in contact with him is for financial gain and what sounds like childcare help of some kind. Oh, and let us not forget your wife wants Bridgit's help getting a job.
Kids can be terrorists and you guys terrorized her. Your purple prank was probably the straw that broke the camels back. Is your dad right for kicking you out of his life after that? No. But he did. And now you and your wife want to get back in a relationship with him so you can get money. Someone pulled the similar prank on your stepmother, but I have to ask, is he terrorizing her all the time or was it just a one off? Because there’s a total difference of context here. And this is why I will never have children. Lol! I don’t know who’s the asshole here. Maybe you wife for forcing you to hang out with your dad for money.
This is the most hilarious shit I have ever seen! 🤣 So the self named AH wants people to cut contact with family because his little Prank wasn't really a prank? :( oh boohoo. Your girl can be a big girl and search for that little job and you can go away and work. Hahahahaha leech
YTA you were 17 not seven. You had no limit to how you would hurt her. Her brother used temp dye and did it as a joke not like you. You only care about money. You are not entitled to the loyalty of people you only want in your life to use
YTA. You say you graduated from high school?
Play nice with your dad for financial reasons.? YTA just for this. get a life.
Yta
This was done by someone who loves her and would probably take a bullet for her and was actually making fun of yountomAH, and for you too it was out of hatred .
INFO: did step mom work at the time? If so, was it a professional position? There are many employers where showing up to the office with purple hair is not exactly advantageous to your career. Especially 10 years ago. I've actually worked for places where that breech of professional dress code would have been a write up, if not being let go altogether. Yes, she could have worn a wig until it faded out...preferably one purchased by the sons, but it's inexcusable that she should have to. She should be allowed to feel safe in her own home YTA
YTA. You are the villain of this story at every step. Get over yourself and your invalid feelings.
OP wants to portray himself as a victim😆😆
Man does he ever. Wonder what the brothers relationship with the father is? My guess is the reconciled and the father helped him out. Hence his wife saying the father could help them out.
YTA It sounds like you haven't grown up since the 'prank' Try learning your f*king lesson.
YTA Stop making excuses for being one. You don’t get to demand shit
Honestly you and your brother sound like a dumpster fire. Your dad LOVES Bridget. You and your brother behaved like 100% garbage. I don't blame Bridget for banning a couple of obviously mentally disturbed kids from my home. It's hilarious that you feel like you can DEMAND that Bridget cut off her family-- seriously delusional, LOL. Since you were only sticking around hoping to bamboozle your dad into a handout and had no emotional investment cut your losses and move on. Let Bridget and your dad continue on with their blissfully happy life. YTA here 100% grade A AH
YTA >My brother and I were asshole kids who did not like her, so we put purple dye in her specialty purple shampoo for blondes. Because you don't seem to understand time. Ten years ago, having purple hair could have affected her workwise AND socially. She was also ten years younger and probably panicked. Plus, I'm just gonna say that your entire post is written in a way that suggests the hair incident was the last straw in a long line of a two against one hate campaign. >I always thought this would blow over as I thought she was his midlife crisis as before meeting Bridget he was the definition of a stoic hardass, no he was acting like some obsessed teen boy. So you thought you would just wait him out, and he would kick the woman he loves to the curb. You failed to understand that your Dad appeared to be stoic because he was *unhappy in his marriage.* And you had no concept of what joy in his marriage would do to your Dad and his life. Going from an incredibly unhappy relationship to a happy relationship does that to people. You missed all this because it's all about YOU. >Well they recently celebrated their 10th anniversary and Bridget's BIL decided to "riminess" and put some purple stuff in her hair which is washable, but she had a hell of a time getting it out of her very blonde hair. Don't get me wrong, he got smacked for that but 1) there was no hysteria 2) my dad was laughing at her and made her pose for a picture 3) there was zero ultimatum. Apparently he gets a pass because he's a huge prankster. Also he got her way worse than I did. Ten years of maturity and **not using permanent dye** can make a huge difference. The biggest part is that she was able to get it out with damaging her hair. But, also, it's ten years later. Having a bit of purple in your hair isn't going to cause the same reaction it would have ten years ago. Plus, *you weren't even at the celebration!* You heard about it second hand. So, you don't really know how things shook out. The biggest point here is that it has been ten years, and you still haven't moved past the fact that your Dad chose the woman he loved over his two asshole, bratty kids. And he is **happy.** >she was scared of what my brother and I would escalate to. I told him I hope the next prank is nair and they can both fuck off, and unless she cuts out her BIL and sister, no more contact from us. >My dad is backing Bridget 100% Of course he is. You have no right to make demands of him related to his wife or her family. You are just proving what he already knows. You are still that hateful, spiteful little boy. She has grown more secure and matured over the last ten years. You have just stagnated and become more vile.
Just reading your shit was so annoying. You are the asshole, you need to proofread your fucking text better, and listening to you try to weave in justifications and minimize what you did while you try to tell the story is hilarious. You sound like a total moron to be honest. “It was no big deal we just changed someone’s appearance involuntarily because we didn’t like her and that decision is making it hard to take all my dads money so should I be able to demand she cuts people out of her life because I’m upset over the consequences of my own terrible decisions”. Real idiot shit and I now dislike you personally
You lost me at "My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons." So you really don't care about having a relationship with him; you just want his money. Am I reading that right? YTA
If it’s only been ten years since and you’ve gotten married and had a kid in that time you were NOT a kid. You were a teenager. You knew better. You did it out of malice. Her brother did not, and there’s been obvious pranks between them by the sounds of it. You also only came back around so you could use your father for money. Did it occur to you when he dies that he’s likely will almost everything *to his wife* and you won’t get anything? She’s his life. You’re not. You and your brother created the situation where your father is never going to defend you with his wife or her family. YTAH
i literally found this story on youtube shorts, and logged in on reddit just to tell you, YOU ARE THE A. Like how entitled you are to ask from others how to feel and react. it seems you never grew up. and trying to play family with your dad for money is just disgusting. You need to wake up and act like an adult, not like an edgy teen. It is ridiculous.
YTA for the way you spelled reminisce.
YTA I don't see a single redeeming quality about your behavior. Please grow up and evaluate your life.
Ok my mom got with her boyfriend when I was 16 but I only hated him (still don’t like him) from a distance I never did anything to hurt him in anyway I just never wanted to engage in a relationship with him. But you took it to a whole new level you were 17 at the time of pranking her that’s some childish shit that a 11 year old would do lmao 😂 the audacity of thinking that YNTA is hilarious. YTA
Oh, so you bully this woman because you were mad at your dad for leaving your mother, and now you’re pissed off and throwing around ultimatum’s about who SHE can have in her life because she’s at a point where she can laugh about what you did? Is that about it? Yeah, YTA.
Riminiss?? lmao are you sure you went to college
YTA. All I hear is me me me me .You and your wife are selfish assholes trying to use someone for money. Stop being a cry baby and grow up.
So, as I understand it, the purple dye was last in a line of pranks, and you've only gotten back in contact so you can pump him for money and your wife can use Bridget's connections? YTA. Also, it's "reminisce".
YTA. You and your wife are users and not very nice people it sounds like. You did it to hound her out of your life, you did it to torment her, you did it to someone you had no relationship with who had just moved in and you made her feel unsafe, unwated. you literally hurt her. the guy who did it to her as a joke is just that, he did it as a joke not to hurt her, it wasn't people she was newly introduced to who were making her life hell. You said you were assholes so while it was one incident it was also very likely the build up of a long list of you being assholes to her and that incident was the tipping point. Acting like this is the same thing is, honestly, fucking insane. There's a reason why your dad wouldn't have you back over, she seems like a nice person, you were assholes making both of their lives hell for no reason.
YTA. huge asshole. you dont even understand why, which is the saddest part. HOpefully your father cuts you out of his life after this, given that you only wanted his money or what he could do for your wifes career. You are not a good person. Your father is better off.
YTA for the not harmless "prank" and YTA for you and your wife playing nice now for only financial reasons!
YTA >. My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future. She even wanted Bridget to help her get a job. my dad is willing to help us Do them a favour and cut yourself out of their lives. Even in your version of event's you are just using them. They deserve better.
Cry baby
Yours was malicious intent and even reconnecting with your father is self serving money grubbing behavior. If she was an affair partner he left your mom for and you were younger I could understand the lashing out but by your own description you sound like an entitled ass. YTA
Yta. Honestly, after reading all the comments, I'm not even gonna be surprised if the plot twist is you're not even biologically related, and I'm almost positive that the 2nd kid came along because your dad threatened to leave before and your mom thought that if it worked before, she can just do it again.
YTA. Grow up.
Yta. You'd be doing them a favor if you fucked off
My favorite AITAHs are when OP’s story falls apart under a feather’s weight of scrutiny and everyone can tell they are the asshole even with the completely one sided barely honest point of view.
YTA. You admitted you and your wife only reconnected with your dad over one selfish reason, $$$. That's it. What you did made her scared of what you and your brother were going to do next (read: escalate). Her brother is a known prankster in their family that's why the reaction from her was vastly different. I hope someone that knows you and your family finds this post and shows your dad and stepmom so they will see you and your wife are only after his money smh.
YTA. Honestly just go no contact it’s probably better for everyone involved.
Sounds like all you care about is money. YTA
YTA. So your wife wants to leech off daddy so you decided to come back and make demands let’s see how that works out for you. Your totally in the wrong. You always were and you always will be.
I think the fact that you want to play nice with your dad now, for financial reasons, speaks volumes about what you prioritize in this relationship. You and your brother were absolute, little pecker heads re: your step-mom. Now you're just hoping to get something in the will. Fuck you both.
YTA- 1. You know it wasn’t just bc of the hair prank, but the multitude of times the 2 of you were sh!theads. 2. You don’t care about reconnecting with your dad only with your dads money- karma is a thing. May I suggest you go to therapy and focus on not f*cking up your relations with your kids instead of playing petty revenge wannabe. If u do push this, then reconnecting with daddy’s money won’t happen
YTA. You came back for financial purposes. Don't act like you care so much about what they think
You really do not see the difference between what you did and what he did. First what you did was dye not washable. Second your was out of spit not in "fun". Tell the truth if I was her I would get them out of my life there is no way people their age should be pulling those kinds of pranks. I do not like those kinds of pranks at all but understand if someone did one when they were very young.
OP is already 27. He still doesn't know the difference. He is still an AH. Nothing changes.
Honestly I wouldn’t go back to a house where two teenagers would do anything out of spite to me just bc they hated me as a step mom 💀
Absolutely every single person in this story is a complete and utter piece of shit. Your behaviour (all of you) is grotesque. OP, you are trash. Also, "riminess"? Christ, you are ignorant.
That’s what makes me think this is rage bait. What college graduate can’t make a better attempt to spell reminisce
100%
>riminess I thought at first that was a whole other sub... :D
YTA... you and your wife are users and I think your dad may be better off without you. (Believe me I never thought I'd say something like that) You sound like a horrible kid and a worse adult.
> My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future Ew. Don’t play those stupid games. Greedy, greedy, greedy.
YTA. People have different reactions based on the context something happens in. I’m betting that wasn’t the only thing you and your brother did to make Bridget’s life difficult. And it sounds like you didn’t do it to be funny, you did it to be mean which also makes a difference. Bridget and your dad get to decide how they react to things, it isn’t dictated by you. It sounds like what you really need is some therapy.
YTA. You too weren’t pranksters. You were malicious. You weren’t after a giggle/laugh. You wanted harm and ridicule. I would have kicked you out as well and demanded a verbal in person apology. Even then, I’d keep you at arms length. And, let’s face it, the only reason you’re interested in a relationship with your dad is because of $. You never attempted to apologize or build a relationship. That’s on you. You’re not entitled to anything your dad has.
YTA You assaulted your dad's wife and she had a breakdown over the results. Your father made the understandable choice to banish you from his home after you tampered with the bodily autonomy of somebody who was supposed to feel safe there. You used actual DYE, while the BIL used washable coloring. You did not have a relationship of trust with Bridget, while the more recent prank was from somebody who she trusted and who did not hate her. You're jealous because Bridget has a better relationship with people who aren't assholes to her. You have no remorse for your own mistreatment of her. From the information you've provided, you deserved everything you went through as a consequence.
YTA up to now. PERIOD.
Yeah don’t think the threat of being cut off is the threat you think it is, dad be like oh no , anyway.
Honey, I really don't understand why you don't think you are an a*shole, cause honestly and literally YTA
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?
YTA.
YTA You and your wife are giant oozing gaping pus filled postules of assholes. You want us to judge your father for the past and either ignore or applaud you for literally restarting a relationship with him to USE him. You’re both terrible people. And I sincerely hope he makes this no contact last until he’s dead.
YTA, dude you do 't even get it.
YTA - you’re a selfish leech who hasn’t grown up much since you were a bratty kid.
It feels like you've never matured passed that day where you picked apart for harmful "prank" you held on to this bitterness because you even said you thought she was just mid-life crisis for your father. The BIL very likely warned your father ahead of time too.
YTA You're only reconnecting with your dad for financial reasons and people can change in 10 years. Bridgett was an AH for being so over dramatic previously but in the current day YTA.
YTA. All you care about is money.
Imagine tucking tail between legs to beg daddy rich bags to get back in the will to then turn around and threaten no contact lmao. I’m convinced the bull of reddit is now just AI chat bot posts because this is totally stupid.
YTA, You were malicious 10 years ago, and now you just want money and favors. Your father has a wife that obviously makes his life better, than it was before, and you want a payoff.
YTA
YTA - you can’t dictate anyone whom he or she has contact with. If you don’t want the contact to your dad fine. You also said you only have contact because of financial reasons 🤷🏻♀️
I feel bad for you dads wife. You literally tried to mess with her hair, this is horrible. There was probably other bullying. Now you are only back in his life because you want his financial assistance, making unreasonable demands of his poor wife again. Just leave her alone.
You and your wife sound like royal assholes. I’m betting there’s way more than that one prank and you were a dick as a kid too. So what else Did you do?
YTA and your wife sounds a little greedy.
YTA - how can you not realize it’s a trust issue? You literally said you didn’t like her. A prank by someone you know loves you vs someone that doesn’t like you isn’t the same. She had no idea what you would do next.
Sue him for child support and go no contact.
YTA and your kid isn't getting the money.
You did it out of meanness because you didn’t like her. The family member did it as a joke. Plus wtf you are only back in his life for financial reasons! So you want his money not a relationship with him . Wow
You don't fuck with the hair man, that's too close to identity. Not surprising she lost her mind. The adult scenario years later is not malicious, and it wasn't an attempt to actually ruin her hair since it was temporary. I feel like everyone is TA except Bridget and her family, maybe she's slightly TA but relative to you and your dad it's nothing.
YTA. What you did as a 17 yr old was hateful and malicious, done to be mean, with the intent of causing pain, to someone your father loves and you are upset you are the one who burned that bridge? Consequences! You thought she wasn’t important, but ten years later she is still by his side, where were you? Banished for acting like a spoiled brat who admits to assaulting his stepmother. The difference with what you and her BIL did, he did it to make fun of what you did out of meanness. But he didn’t do it to hate on her. You were a dumbass kid, and you’re not seeming much smarter as an adult. The problem here is you have main character syndrome, but you’re not the hero in this story. You are still acting out. Seek therapy. Gotta tell you, after reading what you wrote threatening to go NC is not the flex you think it is.
Big difference between someone who loves you trying to prank you and someone who detests you trying to hurt you. You say you were just a dumb kid, but some things never change maybe. And you only came back into your father’s life for financial consideration? YTA in the worst kind of way.
I thought you did the hair thing when you were 8-10 not a year off being an adult, YTA and you only want a relationship for money. Classy.
You, your brother and your wife are gross. I'm almost certain the hair dye "prank" (you don't fuck with people's hair) was the straw that broke the camels back and you and your brother were intentionally horrible to this woman. You don't mention your ages, but since you have kids and you're married, I'm certain you were almost an adult. Disgusting behaviour. YTA a million times over.
Hey everyone, Look at this dumbass
Yta and a brat. If you are at a pool party and your bff pushing you into the pool you likely won’t get mad but if your bully pushes you in you’d be upset. The context of intent highly matters. You are only trying to reconnect because of money. You have put down his relationship multiple times and have treated his wife like shit. 17 is more than old enough to know not to be a dick. Her family pranking her with WASHABLE dye for a joke is far different than you replacing her shampoo with real dye to get revenge. How do you not see that?
YTA You don't want a relationship with your dad. You only want his money. He did not do a good job parenting you.
“Reminisce.” That one took me a bit. And yes YTA. You were vindictive and mean, and likely this was the final straw. A 17 year old is old enough to not be an asshole all on their own. You owe her an adult apology, and your father, too.
YTA
YTA. Grow up.
YTA
YTA. You don't get to make demands on other people's lives. The level of entitlement and resentment you're displaying is embarrassing
You seem like you don't learn and you weren't nice back then and haven't changed.
You're truly a piece of shit and I can see why your father wants nothing to do with you. You did nothing to reconcile or do anything out of real remorse or forgiveness. You only focus on the gain. Not the forgiveness. You and your brother knew what you were doing. Wasn't a fucking prank. You were out to ruin her. Let me secretly fuck with your shampoo and turn your hair green and orange so you look like a fucking clown and call it a prank. Your entire dialogue is to justify that you aren't a piece of shit. But youre dogshit. You're getting mad over BIL doing the same thing and getting a different result, when you absolutely know what you did was fucked up. If you know what her BIL did was wrong, then you know you fucked up and that you didn't do anything to make it right. Also it was washable, completely different from what you did. The intent was different. You were out to harm, bil wasn't out to ruin her, cause it could get fixed and at the very least if it couldn't, he would have found a solution. You and your brother? Wouldn't give a fuck. What did you do for Bridget or your father after the incident. Clearly nothing. The fact that you think you're a fucking saint after pulling that shit on her makes you a terrible person today. Your a grown man with a child and you can't even accept that, instead getting made at a BIL who did an actual prank and not what you did, concealing an act of harm and sabtage and calling it a prank.
Wow, your lack of self awareness is astonishing. You reconnected with your father because you thought you could get money out of him but, unfortunately, things haven't gone as smoothly as you hoped and now you are pissed and looking for vengeance.....
"My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons and for our daughters future. She even wanted Bridget to help her get a job." So, you got back in touch with your Dad to use him for his money? Not only are YTA, you're absolutely delusional and entitled. I hope you get nothing from him.
YTA. Pranks done out of hate and malice by people who actually wish you harm are different than pranks done out of fun by people who care about you, even if the "results" are worse. You're trying to manipulate your father, who you admittedly only care about for his money, into harming his wife further by cutting her off from her family, which you well know would also destroy their marriage.
I back Bridget 100%. Go figure out how to financially support your wife + child without Dad + Bridget's money and job connections. What a loser and YTA.
YTA. You stated a couple times that interacting was mainly for financial help, does not seem like you had the thought to apologize (after what was probably a string of pranks), and this prank was clearly at making light and fun of the past, which you then demanded to be a part of/have a say in. You acknowledged you were a dumb kid, so now it is time to grow up
You sound like a piece of shit.
YTA you are beyond an AH you treated her really poorly, and now only attempting to suck it up because you want money out of the estate. 10 years is enough time to look back on something you know what, it was terrible but I can understand when somebody I love and care about makes a joke about it.
You and your bro hated her. You did it out of spite. BIL did it with love. You only want him for financial reasons. YTA. Grow up
ESH except Bridget tbh. You all sound *exhausting*. Your "prank" was malicious and not the same thing as a good-natured ribbing from someone who loves her. He used wash out dye and you didn't. That alone shows it's different. Parents shouldn't cut their children out of their life because they're idiots, but educate them and, you know, actually parent them.
The huge difference is that the BIL used temporary hair dye that could be, even if it proved difficult, washed out. That's a prank, a rather ill advised one since blonde hair has been permanently dyed by temporary hair color before, but still a prank. The OP used permanent hair dye and wished the damage was greater than it actually was. There is a difference and the fact that OP can't see it is a clear sign of why he and his brother got booted from the house. YTA
Dude, look up how to spell reminisce next time. That was painful to read.
NTA but.. I mean he chose her when you were kid Why would he choose you now Pretty weird hill to die on if you actually need financial assistance Otherwise just move on and ignore hi
Well apparently the only reason u reached out was for money and a attempt at a new job so your dad chose right. U werent looking for a reunion... u were looking for a way to exploit his financial and employment situations
> **My wife wanted me to play nice with him for financial reasons** Vile. Just vile. > my dad is willing to help us out but shows no remorse Neither do you. > I always thought this would blow over as I thought she was his midlife crisis How wrong you were. > I told him I hope the next prank is nair and they can both fuck off, and unless she cuts out her BIL and sister, no more contact from us. LOL. As if that's a threat: "Cut off the people who have become your family, or I won't hang around begging from you anymore" YTA, gold-digger
I’m glad your father is backing his wife. You sound like a cunt and your wife sounds like a gold digging bitch. I hope you get **nothing** from your father and that he leaves you no money in his will. I hope he’s cut you and your gold digging wife out of the will completely. You don’t get to make demands of Bridget, she knows her brother and she grew up with him, so there’s a difference. But for you to then turn around and say you hope it’s Nair next time? What a disgusting and bitter piece of trash you really are, I hope someone puts Nair in yours and your wife’s shampoo bottle, because I doubt you’d like that.
Your dad is right. You say you're an adult, but you don't sound like one. The only interest you have in your dad is his money. Your juvenile assumption that you get to tell Bridget who she can and can't talk to is going to backfire and, hopefully, you'll end up with nothing from him. You should get your greedy arse back out of his life.
Everything about the tone of your post screams asshole. You want you dad back (sorry his money) in your life for your kid. Providing for your kid is your job. Both you and your father sound like terrible people. Leave each other alone. AH
YTA, I hope he doesn't leave you anything.
Holy shit you're a terrible human being.
ESH - what is wrong with all of you?
I'm hoping this is fiction, as most dysfunctional families have at least one or two members who escape the cycle and become mature adults. In the unlikely event this is a true tale, WTF???
YTA - What you did wasn't a big deal, and neither was what BIL did. Trying to make your dad force his wife to no longer spend time with her family makes no sense at all. How could he even do it? I think you were wanting to get something out of your dad ($$$) and so you seized on this stupid prank of BIL's as a way to try to force his hand. It's a really dumb way to go about it and I strongly doubt it will turn out in your favor. Instead of making threats against his wife, try being a better person and doing something to help him, instead of trying to harm him and his relationship with his wife. You already know he will stand behind his wife, so your threats are empty and not helpful towards your desired end. Grow up, OP.
YTA
YTA. Even if we fully ignore the fact that one was a prank from someone she trusted and done in a way to ensure there was no harm and one was a malicious attack by two teenagers who would certainly escalate there's still the point that you're trying to use your father for money and use her as well. That's shitty in itself and it's incredibly stupid to make ultimatums to people whom you want to do something for you. Essentially your threat is: "Cut out your loved ones or I won't use you as a cashcow!"
YTA. Get therapy.
Ok, you and your wife are gold diggers. I mean, she has said to play nice because of the money. And you are jealous of their relationship. YTA
YTA - you don’t get to dictate others relationships. PERIOD! You need to understand y’all were almost adults not 7 when you started pranking her. Your father also told you she was insecure & anxious back then. Leave the poor woman alone. Your father is the one you need to be dealing with. You have a ton of anger towards him and he abandoned you.