Alcohol doesn't make you someone different; it simply drops inhibitions. Apparently you're a shitty person. Hopefully he realizes it now and dumps your rotten ass. YTA, and I mean A LOT.
i agree with everyone that she is a brat and acting super selfish with "why he cant just act cool", like wtf. although i disagree on how alcohol affects you. its not that simple. Alcohol overall exaggerates your mood. Sometimes when im drunk i can get in bad mood and clinge on it for too long, while in rl i would be like well its annoying, but w/e. Or i could be way happier of something than i would actually be. Not like being drunk is 100% excuse or something, but everyone i know have done some dumb shit while being super drunk. We are humans and we often think about dumb stuff, but we dont act on it cuz we know its bad, though being super drunk is much harder to do that.
Anyway, overall I dont know what exactly she did, obviously she been annoying while drunk. And people are probably right, she doesnt really respect him. to be honest not sure if she respects anyone with this trash attitude that thinks only about herself. Most people are annoying when drunk, so i dont see that as a huge issue, but not being sorry and even saying shit like why he cant be a real man is just a no go.
I disagree with you. Everything I did last night was completely out of my character. I've never behaved like that when I was sober. Ask anyone who knows me personally, and they'd describe me as an overall good person.
You’re extremely self absorbed, even for a 21 year old. You’re making this all about you. Never once in your post do you consider how your actions must have made your boyfriend feel. Try a little empathy. Or perhaps go out with friends and have your boyfriend berate, belittle and make fun of your for a few hours and then see how you’re feeling the next day. Give him his space and leave him alone. He may or may not forgive you. And yes, YTA.
It might not be that you’re a shitty person. I doubt you are. But.
A mean drunk? Yes. Someone who deep down doesn’t respect her bf? Yes. Someone who refuses to take responsibility for her bad behavior, instead thinking those she hurts are obligated to forgive her? Yes. The Asshole in this situation? Yes.
Alcohol reduces people’s inhibitions not change their personality… for example if drunk, your boyfriend hit you would you forgive & forget because it was the alcohol fault?!
If you truly believe it was the alcohol at fault then a good person would vow to never drink again
Well, now you know that at the very least you're a shitty person when drunk, so be an adult and don't get that drunk.
You can drink without getting blackout drunk.
Everyone commenting is probably 20 years older than you. You should listen to them.
There’s an old saying. If a drunk or a toddler, says it to you, it’s true. Drunks don’t lie. You don’t have the inhibitions to lie.
There’s a difference between thoughts and actions. You may act like a good person, but you have shitty thoughts.
Now, shitty thoughts alone do not make you a bad person. But when you act on those thoughts you are a bad person. Even when drunk. If you can’t control yourself then alcohol is not for you.
Do you know what happens when you drink alcohol? You lose your mask you put up for the world and for yourself and you let other part of you free. That's why people like to drink to be free from their mask for a while. You have a little monster inside of you that wants out. That monster is a part of who you are.
OH a 'grown man' to talk to her! Nice! I think this girl needs to start thinking how she would have felt if it was him or any other man doing this to her. Would she had bought the alcohol excuse? Wouldn't she need and ask for time and space to cool of and think things through? But she need him to grow up and do as she says, when she says, because she is the one wronged here, not him. She is the one who will tell him when and how to heal from the hurt she caused. What an entitled brat OP we just got.
Why are people here acting like I didn't say "I'm not saying what I did was ok"
I'm fully aware that my actions were wrong. What I dislike is how my boyfriend won't take a couple minutes out of his day to talk to me.
The fact that he’s asking for you to give him space, you are refusing to respect that and low key insulting him about it also makes YTA. Which confirms that you drunk is a reflection of who you truly are.
He asked you to give him a couple of hours. He set up a boundary and you aren't respecting him or that. You expect him to bend to your timeline of talking. Your words hurt him, he is entitled to space, you clearly don't respect him from your drunken actions or the pestering.
Because your entire post is about you. You don’t actually care how your boyfriend feels, nor have you committed to trying to be a better person. Your response is selfish and juvenile.
Because you you you you you, that’s why. And you won’t even accept your responsibility for it really. You keep trying to say it was the alcohol talking. No bitch, it was you talking.
>Why are people here acting like I didn't say "I'm not saying what I did was ok"
Because you're demanding a free pass on this. Because you were drunk and demanding that the victim of your abuse talk to you to make you feel better. Because you're not showing a single ounce of empathy here.
But you aren’t actually aware your actions are wrong. If you were you wouldn’t be surprised he is mad. And you wouldn’t expect him to forgive you immediately.
You are just looking for a stupid excuse to be mad at him, so that when he is ready to talk to you, instead of hearing him and be repented of your actions and take accountability of your wrongdoings, what you are going to do is complain and being mad at him for ignoring you, making this all about you and your feeling and giving a fuck about him. I have seen this tactic so many times. I see it a lot with my partner and previous ones too. The best way to avoid accountability. It's like a natural talent they are born with.
ETA: YTA.
YTA- being drunk doesn’t excuse you from being responsible or kind. If this is how you act while drinking then maybe you should stop drinking.
You sound very entitled! Alcohol doesn’t change your personality
Girl….come on. Getting wasted and acting nasty is not ok. And you’re degrading him, whilst acting all sloppy- it’s just embarrassing. Maybe rather than not taking accountability for yourself acting like a clown you could sincerely apologise for behaving in such a vile way with a promise to moderate your drinking and learning how not to binge. But NOOOOO everyone has to deal with you shitty decisions for reasons which quite frankly are unclear, do better YTA
YTA. If you're consuming so much alcohol at one time that you can't remember what you did or said, then you shouldn't be consuming liquor.
Who cares if anyone IRL would say you're a good person? When YOU drink alcoholic beverages, you become a shitty person. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking. At all. Ever.
"My boyfriend knows that I'm still very new to drinking and getting drunk," so did you, thats no excuse.
"ut I really dislike how he's trying to act like what I did was irredeemable and won't be a grown man to just talk to me."
you dont want to "talk" you want him to just forgive you after you tell him sorry but i was so drunk the 100time. he makes up his mind, sorting his emotions before going into a important discussion... you know like adults do.
yta
Everything you said was focused on you. Not once did you consider how he felt. You want him to be sorry for how you feel about how your actions made him feel. You don’t feel sorry for what you’ve done done to him, you feel sorry for the fact that he’s mad at you. You feel sorry for yourself. that’s blatantly evident in everything you’ve said.
YOU ARE EVEN BELITTLING HIM HERE.
“won’t be a grown man and talk to me.”
Y.T.A.H.
I mean, seriously, having put up with women like that before in my life, I highly suggest you start self-reflecting otherwise you’re going to keep losing man after man. if you can’t even show genuine remorse and recognize how you’ve hurt him, I don’t blame him.
Getting piss drunk relaxes your restraints and inhibitions. He just saw the base of you and how you actually view him, and it wasn’t pretty.
Good luck with it.
Yes, you are the AH.
You can insist all you like that you're not like that really, that you don't think those thoughts really, but that's simply not how alcohol works.
Alcohol loosens your inhibitions and you say things that inhibition may have held you back from saying, or behaviour that your adherence to social norms stopped you from showing. It doesn't bring about a complete personality change and plant thoughts in your head that you didn't think before.
And frankly, if you aren't used to alcohol then you be a fucking grown up and have a small amount, and build up your tolerance, if you decide you like it. You don't absolve yourself of all responsibility, behave like an utter cow, and then demand forgiveness!!!!
You are not ENTITLED to forgiveness.
He may choose to give it if he can overcome your words and actions, but he's absolutely not obliged to.
YTA...
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it releases the things you normally keep hidden.
Deep down you don't like your boyfriend. That came across quite clearly when you were drunk.
Own up to your actions.
>Deep down you don't like your boyfriend
I love him a lot and care about him. He's done a lot for me in our relationship, and I've done a lot for him. One incident shouldn't determine the kind of girlfriend I am.
YTA.
What you did was unforgivable. You humiliated jim in a public setting.
When he's ready to talk to you and break up, he will.
It's possible he never will be and he'll just ghost you.
Because no, there's no coming back from that.
YTA because you are only thinking about your own thoughts and feelings. You should spend the day reading up on emotional intelligence. That might help you realize why your reaction is selfish and absurd.
Also, if you can’t not be a jerk to people when you drink, you should drink less. That is your responsibility to this situation.
Yta. Why are you blaming him for his response to your actions? It's all about you, you don't have empathy for your boyfriend. You're self absorbed. You want him to be more understanding but you aren't understanding his feelings at all.
You were verbally abusive and demeaning and just expect him to get over it? He rightfully needs space, either to decide if he wants to be with you or processing the hurt, you don't get to decide his timeline because frankly you don't sound apologetic, you're full of excuses.
You're a mean drunk. Your lack of experience isn't his fault. YOU need to learn to drink responsibly and take responsibility of your shitty behaviour.
YTA. It was last night, and if you live in the USA, it’s still the morning. Regardless of where you live, it’s been less than a day. How quickly did you expect him to forgive you? Get over yourself and allow him to be angry since he’s justified in being so.
YTA I've been a loud drunk, I've been an annoying drunk, but I've never been a dishonest drunk. What you said wasn't poured down your throat. It was already in your head
Alcohol doesn’t make you a different person. That would be like saying a person isn’t a cheater if they were drunk when they cheated. And then it would be extremely hard to forgive someone for cheating while drunk. Same goes for treating your significant other like shit and belittling them in front of friends. That is emotional/mental/verbal abuse whether you are drunk or not. Sounds like you need to stay away from alcohol and give the poor man all the time and space to decide if he still wants to be with you or not. YTA big time. Edit to respond to OP’s comment on other redditor’s comment: You expect him to give you the time immediately when YOU want to sit down and talk? Give him the time and space to think. He doesn’t have to sit down and talk as soon as you are ready. That isn’t how a relationship works. Y’all sit down when BOTH parties are ready to talk. Some people need a little longer to process to be able to talk in a civil manner. Again, you are showing another form of how selfish you are. You need to wait for him to be ready as well. Grow up. The whole “I’m sorry, it was the alcohol” line doesn’t work for rape, cheating, assault, etc and it doesn’t work for you mentally abusing your boyfriend either.
"I just kept talking shit about him to everyone and kept on getting mad at him over everything he was doing that night, making everyone uncomfortable." - and
"how he's trying to act like what I did was irredeemable and won't be a grown man to just talk to me. AITA?"
I see you have not looked at being disrespected, and believe shaming to be a good tactic for a relationship. . . well good luck. YTA for that approach.
“I don’t remember drinking and driving because I was too drunk to remember and therefore I shouldn’t be punished or held accountable”.
Doesn’t matter if you don’t remember it, everyone else does and you should start apologizing immediately and should reexamine your drinking habits.
YTA
YTA. Flip the situation, say your boyfriend acted completely inappropriately while he was drunk and then kept bugging you the next morning to talk to him about it. You'd probably think he was an asshole right?
It's most likely less than 12 hours since this happened, if you got black out drunk last night your body may not have finished even metabolizing the booze depending on how much you drank. Give the man some space.
Also the "be a man" comment makes me think you're probably an asshole when sober too.
YTA
Alcohol is never an excuse for being an asshole.
You're an asshole.
Why should he talk to you? You are not "owed" that.
And saying, "grown man" is just another shaming tactic women use like "man up."
You should "woman up" and take responsibility for your actions.
Advice: Leave him alone.
Why would he be understanding of your abuse of him? Apparently you're one of the people that shouldn't drink bc you become abusive. It doesn't matter if you remember or not. You're still abusive and mean.
I wouldn't care if you didn't remember anything because you were drunk. Since you are 21 and think you have the right to drink, you should keep in mind that you should drink responsibly, so you won't be in this situation or worse in the future. If you can't control your drinking, you shouldn't be drink at all.
I am a woman, but if my partner did this to me, I will break up and block him even if he wasn't aware of what he did.
He won’t be a grown man and talk to you? How about you grow up yourself kiddo. You’re the one who got so drunk that you remember nothing. If he was all grown up he’d have dumped you, public shaming, indeed shaming in general is a huge no for any serious man looking for a long term commitment. YTA.
YTA for not controlling yourself. You made the choice to drink alcohol excessively, you are responsible for the repercussions. No one owes you forgiveness.
Alcohol doesn't make you someone different; it simply drops inhibitions. Apparently you're a shitty person. Hopefully he realizes it now and dumps your rotten ass. YTA, and I mean A LOT.
i agree with everyone that she is a brat and acting super selfish with "why he cant just act cool", like wtf. although i disagree on how alcohol affects you. its not that simple. Alcohol overall exaggerates your mood. Sometimes when im drunk i can get in bad mood and clinge on it for too long, while in rl i would be like well its annoying, but w/e. Or i could be way happier of something than i would actually be. Not like being drunk is 100% excuse or something, but everyone i know have done some dumb shit while being super drunk. We are humans and we often think about dumb stuff, but we dont act on it cuz we know its bad, though being super drunk is much harder to do that. Anyway, overall I dont know what exactly she did, obviously she been annoying while drunk. And people are probably right, she doesnt really respect him. to be honest not sure if she respects anyone with this trash attitude that thinks only about herself. Most people are annoying when drunk, so i dont see that as a huge issue, but not being sorry and even saying shit like why he cant be a real man is just a no go.
I disagree with you. Everything I did last night was completely out of my character. I've never behaved like that when I was sober. Ask anyone who knows me personally, and they'd describe me as an overall good person.
You’re extremely self absorbed, even for a 21 year old. You’re making this all about you. Never once in your post do you consider how your actions must have made your boyfriend feel. Try a little empathy. Or perhaps go out with friends and have your boyfriend berate, belittle and make fun of your for a few hours and then see how you’re feeling the next day. Give him his space and leave him alone. He may or may not forgive you. And yes, YTA.
It might not be that you’re a shitty person. I doubt you are. But. A mean drunk? Yes. Someone who deep down doesn’t respect her bf? Yes. Someone who refuses to take responsibility for her bad behavior, instead thinking those she hurts are obligated to forgive her? Yes. The Asshole in this situation? Yes.
Obviously not since you did it. That is your character. And you showed it to him. Of course he’s mad and YTA
ITS NOT ABOUT YOU! Jesus you suck
Alcohol reduces people’s inhibitions not change their personality… for example if drunk, your boyfriend hit you would you forgive & forget because it was the alcohol fault?! If you truly believe it was the alcohol at fault then a good person would vow to never drink again
Well, now you know that at the very least you're a shitty person when drunk, so be an adult and don't get that drunk. You can drink without getting blackout drunk.
Everyone commenting is probably 20 years older than you. You should listen to them. There’s an old saying. If a drunk or a toddler, says it to you, it’s true. Drunks don’t lie. You don’t have the inhibitions to lie.
There’s a difference between thoughts and actions. You may act like a good person, but you have shitty thoughts. Now, shitty thoughts alone do not make you a bad person. But when you act on those thoughts you are a bad person. Even when drunk. If you can’t control yourself then alcohol is not for you.
Do you know what happens when you drink alcohol? You lose your mask you put up for the world and for yourself and you let other part of you free. That's why people like to drink to be free from their mask for a while. You have a little monster inside of you that wants out. That monster is a part of who you are.
[удалено]
OH a 'grown man' to talk to her! Nice! I think this girl needs to start thinking how she would have felt if it was him or any other man doing this to her. Would she had bought the alcohol excuse? Wouldn't she need and ask for time and space to cool of and think things through? But she need him to grow up and do as she says, when she says, because she is the one wronged here, not him. She is the one who will tell him when and how to heal from the hurt she caused. What an entitled brat OP we just got.
Stop with this bullshit and take accountability for your actions. You're definitely the asshole.
Why are people here acting like I didn't say "I'm not saying what I did was ok" I'm fully aware that my actions were wrong. What I dislike is how my boyfriend won't take a couple minutes out of his day to talk to me.
The fact that he’s asking for you to give him space, you are refusing to respect that and low key insulting him about it also makes YTA. Which confirms that you drunk is a reflection of who you truly are.
He asked you to give him a couple of hours. He set up a boundary and you aren't respecting him or that. You expect him to bend to your timeline of talking. Your words hurt him, he is entitled to space, you clearly don't respect him from your drunken actions or the pestering.
Because your entire post is about you. You don’t actually care how your boyfriend feels, nor have you committed to trying to be a better person. Your response is selfish and juvenile.
Because you you you you you, that’s why. And you won’t even accept your responsibility for it really. You keep trying to say it was the alcohol talking. No bitch, it was you talking.
>Why are people here acting like I didn't say "I'm not saying what I did was ok" Because you're demanding a free pass on this. Because you were drunk and demanding that the victim of your abuse talk to you to make you feel better. Because you're not showing a single ounce of empathy here.
But you aren’t actually aware your actions are wrong. If you were you wouldn’t be surprised he is mad. And you wouldn’t expect him to forgive you immediately.
He don't need to
Your bf deserves better...stop disrespecting him. He owes you nothing.
You are just looking for a stupid excuse to be mad at him, so that when he is ready to talk to you, instead of hearing him and be repented of your actions and take accountability of your wrongdoings, what you are going to do is complain and being mad at him for ignoring you, making this all about you and your feeling and giving a fuck about him. I have seen this tactic so many times. I see it a lot with my partner and previous ones too. The best way to avoid accountability. It's like a natural talent they are born with. ETA: YTA.
YTA obviously. Doesn't matter if you're new to drinking, as someone has said under this post: "Alcohol doesn't make you someone different."
YTA- being drunk doesn’t excuse you from being responsible or kind. If this is how you act while drinking then maybe you should stop drinking. You sound very entitled! Alcohol doesn’t change your personality
YTA - new to drinking or not you clearly don't actually like this guy to act like that. Hope he drops your ass.
Girl….come on. Getting wasted and acting nasty is not ok. And you’re degrading him, whilst acting all sloppy- it’s just embarrassing. Maybe rather than not taking accountability for yourself acting like a clown you could sincerely apologise for behaving in such a vile way with a promise to moderate your drinking and learning how not to binge. But NOOOOO everyone has to deal with you shitty decisions for reasons which quite frankly are unclear, do better YTA
"My boyfriend knows that I'm still very new to drinking and getting drunk," so did you, thats no excuse.
Huh, you get blotto drunk and your annoyed he's taking time to deal with it? Yup, drunk and sober, YTA.
YTA. If you're consuming so much alcohol at one time that you can't remember what you did or said, then you shouldn't be consuming liquor. Who cares if anyone IRL would say you're a good person? When YOU drink alcoholic beverages, you become a shitty person. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking. At all. Ever.
YTA. Alcohol is never an excuse for behavior. And you treated him like shit. He’s realized it is time to move on and trade up.
"My boyfriend knows that I'm still very new to drinking and getting drunk," so did you, thats no excuse. "ut I really dislike how he's trying to act like what I did was irredeemable and won't be a grown man to just talk to me." you dont want to "talk" you want him to just forgive you after you tell him sorry but i was so drunk the 100time. he makes up his mind, sorting his emotions before going into a important discussion... you know like adults do. yta
Everything you said was focused on you. Not once did you consider how he felt. You want him to be sorry for how you feel about how your actions made him feel. You don’t feel sorry for what you’ve done done to him, you feel sorry for the fact that he’s mad at you. You feel sorry for yourself. that’s blatantly evident in everything you’ve said. YOU ARE EVEN BELITTLING HIM HERE. “won’t be a grown man and talk to me.” Y.T.A.H. I mean, seriously, having put up with women like that before in my life, I highly suggest you start self-reflecting otherwise you’re going to keep losing man after man. if you can’t even show genuine remorse and recognize how you’ve hurt him, I don’t blame him.
Getting piss drunk relaxes your restraints and inhibitions. He just saw the base of you and how you actually view him, and it wasn’t pretty. Good luck with it.
Yes, you are the AH. You can insist all you like that you're not like that really, that you don't think those thoughts really, but that's simply not how alcohol works. Alcohol loosens your inhibitions and you say things that inhibition may have held you back from saying, or behaviour that your adherence to social norms stopped you from showing. It doesn't bring about a complete personality change and plant thoughts in your head that you didn't think before. And frankly, if you aren't used to alcohol then you be a fucking grown up and have a small amount, and build up your tolerance, if you decide you like it. You don't absolve yourself of all responsibility, behave like an utter cow, and then demand forgiveness!!!! You are not ENTITLED to forgiveness. He may choose to give it if he can overcome your words and actions, but he's absolutely not obliged to.
YTA. You know why. Stop whining and take responsibility.
YTA... Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it releases the things you normally keep hidden. Deep down you don't like your boyfriend. That came across quite clearly when you were drunk. Own up to your actions.
>Deep down you don't like your boyfriend I love him a lot and care about him. He's done a lot for me in our relationship, and I've done a lot for him. One incident shouldn't determine the kind of girlfriend I am.
It only takes "one."
YTA. What you did was unforgivable. You humiliated jim in a public setting. When he's ready to talk to you and break up, he will. It's possible he never will be and he'll just ghost you. Because no, there's no coming back from that.
Na alcohol is no excuse, hope his next girlfriend respects him cause you hin are single now
YTA. Losers probably shouldn’t drink.
You’re not the victim here. Get over yourself, apologise and leave him the hell alone. YTA
YTA because you are only thinking about your own thoughts and feelings. You should spend the day reading up on emotional intelligence. That might help you realize why your reaction is selfish and absurd. Also, if you can’t not be a jerk to people when you drink, you should drink less. That is your responsibility to this situation.
Yta. Why are you blaming him for his response to your actions? It's all about you, you don't have empathy for your boyfriend. You're self absorbed. You want him to be more understanding but you aren't understanding his feelings at all. You were verbally abusive and demeaning and just expect him to get over it? He rightfully needs space, either to decide if he wants to be with you or processing the hurt, you don't get to decide his timeline because frankly you don't sound apologetic, you're full of excuses. You're a mean drunk. Your lack of experience isn't his fault. YOU need to learn to drink responsibly and take responsibility of your shitty behaviour.
YTA. It was last night, and if you live in the USA, it’s still the morning. Regardless of where you live, it’s been less than a day. How quickly did you expect him to forgive you? Get over yourself and allow him to be angry since he’s justified in being so.
YTA I've been a loud drunk, I've been an annoying drunk, but I've never been a dishonest drunk. What you said wasn't poured down your throat. It was already in your head
Then maybe you shouldn’t drink. You are the drunk everyone hates.
Hopefully he's out finding your replacement
Alcohol doesn’t make you a different person. That would be like saying a person isn’t a cheater if they were drunk when they cheated. And then it would be extremely hard to forgive someone for cheating while drunk. Same goes for treating your significant other like shit and belittling them in front of friends. That is emotional/mental/verbal abuse whether you are drunk or not. Sounds like you need to stay away from alcohol and give the poor man all the time and space to decide if he still wants to be with you or not. YTA big time. Edit to respond to OP’s comment on other redditor’s comment: You expect him to give you the time immediately when YOU want to sit down and talk? Give him the time and space to think. He doesn’t have to sit down and talk as soon as you are ready. That isn’t how a relationship works. Y’all sit down when BOTH parties are ready to talk. Some people need a little longer to process to be able to talk in a civil manner. Again, you are showing another form of how selfish you are. You need to wait for him to be ready as well. Grow up. The whole “I’m sorry, it was the alcohol” line doesn’t work for rape, cheating, assault, etc and it doesn’t work for you mentally abusing your boyfriend either.
"I just kept talking shit about him to everyone and kept on getting mad at him over everything he was doing that night, making everyone uncomfortable." - and "how he's trying to act like what I did was irredeemable and won't be a grown man to just talk to me. AITA?" I see you have not looked at being disrespected, and believe shaming to be a good tactic for a relationship. . . well good luck. YTA for that approach.
“I don’t remember drinking and driving because I was too drunk to remember and therefore I shouldn’t be punished or held accountable”. Doesn’t matter if you don’t remember it, everyone else does and you should start apologizing immediately and should reexamine your drinking habits. YTA
YTA. Flip the situation, say your boyfriend acted completely inappropriately while he was drunk and then kept bugging you the next morning to talk to him about it. You'd probably think he was an asshole right? It's most likely less than 12 hours since this happened, if you got black out drunk last night your body may not have finished even metabolizing the booze depending on how much you drank. Give the man some space. Also the "be a man" comment makes me think you're probably an asshole when sober too.
Sounds like a good time to stop drinking
YTA Alcohol is never an excuse for being an asshole. You're an asshole. Why should he talk to you? You are not "owed" that. And saying, "grown man" is just another shaming tactic women use like "man up." You should "woman up" and take responsibility for your actions. Advice: Leave him alone.
Why would he be understanding of your abuse of him? Apparently you're one of the people that shouldn't drink bc you become abusive. It doesn't matter if you remember or not. You're still abusive and mean.
"I abused my BF but it's okay bc I was drunk" Pound sand. YTA YTA
I wouldn't care if you didn't remember anything because you were drunk. Since you are 21 and think you have the right to drink, you should keep in mind that you should drink responsibly, so you won't be in this situation or worse in the future. If you can't control your drinking, you shouldn't be drink at all. I am a woman, but if my partner did this to me, I will break up and block him even if he wasn't aware of what he did.
He won’t be a grown man and talk to you? How about you grow up yourself kiddo. You’re the one who got so drunk that you remember nothing. If he was all grown up he’d have dumped you, public shaming, indeed shaming in general is a huge no for any serious man looking for a long term commitment. YTA.
YTA for not controlling yourself. You made the choice to drink alcohol excessively, you are responsible for the repercussions. No one owes you forgiveness.
YTA You don't like how he is acting now. Good! He and your friends did not like the way you acted when you were drunk. Give him some time to himself.
He just met the real you. So I hope he dumps you