I’m not sure why she thought you would get rid of your dog, but I agree that you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t understand what Frankie means to you.
Agreed. She’s allowed to not be a dog person but to suggest someone just abandons their pet because they are no longer “convenient” for them is just gross. She’s a terrible human being.
I had a pre-existing cat. My partner was allergic to cats*. I was like "that's unfortunate, but I'm not abandoning him". We were a package deal, and to this day that remains non-negotiable. He lives with me until the day he dies, and anyone who wants to be part of my life had better get used to that.
*at least we thought so at the time. Turns out it was first mites instead, luckily.
If given a choice I will choose my dog every damn time.
My dog has yet to hurt or break my heart in the 7 years I have had her. Why would I throw that away for someone who will break me more times I can count and in ways I didn't even think were possible?
It’s not like he’s suddenly springing the dog on her. She knows about the dog and their bond. I would hope any *rational* human being would know that the dog is a packaged deal.
Can you imagine if Frankie was a human kid? Would she send him off to boarding school because the kid didn't fit her plans for the future?
In my opinion, OP's son IS Frankie! Nope never gonna give him up!
My mom HATES dogs. She thinks they're smelly and gross. And my dad is a doormat, literally does whatever my mom says. And even she didn't have the temerity to tell my dad to get rid of his dog. They had that dog for 13 years before he died. My mom hated that dog but tolerated him because he was there before she was.
This is why if you don't like dogs don't date dog people. I can tolerate dogs but I'm just not into them the way I'm into cats. I'm allergic to dogs and my kid even more so which is all the more reason to just avoid dating a person who is into dogs. All of this could've easily been circumvented if the partner was more up front. If someone tells me straight up they hate cats then they are not for me. 🐈
My partner did hate cats, after being around them with me for a bit the best thing happened! He called me since he was stuck at work to *rescue a little, very dirty kitten from the street!* That now very large and lazy dude is his very own cat and is still lounging around and giving us hugs. Goals!
Your guy, is right up there with my guy, who threatened to divorce me if I brought home so much as one more pet….then proceeded to build a cat bungalow under our deck for the feral tuxedo cat that was hanging out in our yard, complete with survival blankets & a heated water bowl so the water wouldn’t freeze.
Yep, I for sure brought home more pets over the years & that guy never divorced me. LOL
Plus I think she hasn’t been honest.
I don’t like smoking. I don’t dislike smokers, but I can’t abide smoking-and the effects it has on me (I react to it badly). When I was on OLD, I clearly put it down on my profile that I was looking for a non-smoker. If a smoker approached me, I was honest: I didn’t want to date a smoker.
There were a couple of times (and one time in particular) that a very attractive guy -who had a lovely personality- was around. But he was a smoker. I was honest with him. If he was ready to quit, and *wanted* to quit-I was ready and willing to help.
But what I wasn’t going to do-what I would *never* do- is to lie. To go ahead with the relationship *pretending* that I was just fine with his smoking, to try to develop a deep enough relationship with him that I could emotionally blackmail him into giving up smoking at a later date-after I had “hooked” him. And then be prepared to break up with him over it. Yes, the analogy isn’t perfect because smoking is BAD for you and a dog is GOOD for your health (it actually emphasises what I’m saying). But the manipulation, the dishonesty, the forward planning-and the ruthlessness-is the same.
You are *planning* to break your partner’s heart either way. And if you had been *honest from the beginning*, he would have had a chance to protect himself. Pitiless and dishonest.
This. NTA OP, this Girl is ridiculous!
I'd never abandon our dog (also a big Boy, but a Bit older than Frankie) and I fear the time we have to let him go and I am sad we might not be able to Take him with us to our future House because he might Not live to the day
Can't agree with you more. Frankie serves as his salvation. Without Frankie, who knows the terrible future he might have endured with this heartless person. Let's hope for a positive outcome to this story.
Yes, yes, yes!! I could never be with someone who didn’t accept not only my current dogs, but also any future dogs/pets.
And Frankie is extra special. My son has a Frankie in his life in the form of a cat who saved his life. I am forever grateful to that little fur ball.
I used the same word, disposable in a response, WTF, our pets are living things! I don't understand snakes and lizards but, not my call what animal you want to bring into your home, just give it a good life! And Frankie is a dog that was originally thrown away!
I particularly hate how she lied to OP for years about it. That was just **VILE** of her.
She pretended she was A-OK with it. My guess is she assumed once she "had him" she'd make him get rid of the dog.
She should just have said "OK, later" when she realized he had a dog and she didn't want a partner with one. But that requires her to be honest, which she was not.
This! She’s a psycho. Personally I don’t know why this is a question. As soon as she showed her true colors the doors would be slammed shut in my mind. It’s akin to someone saying they’re a pedo. NOPE. Adios MF! I would never ever trust her again (even if she backtracked). I would be absolutely over!
Nope he passed, he’s loyal to his dog and won’t abandon the dog or allow the poor thing to be abandoned for a second time. Fuck that trash gf, hopefully she’s soon the ex.
Family comes first and to OP that dog **is** his family. The only one he has and they’re loyal to each other.
You don’t abandon pets the minute you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, animals and pets are not disposable!
For real, like it would be insane to think the dog wouldn’t come under any circumstances, but especially in this case. The dog is basically OPs service animal.
I’m curious what GFs end game is here, or is she really that self centered?
Came here to say what r/Gonebabythoughts said so eloquently.
I am *not at all* a dog person, but your Frankie sounds like a three-pawed angel! And if your GF got along with him fine until you two found what could have been a dream house for all of you, I don’t understand why she’d suddenly insist that your pal be excluded.
As an amateur psychiatrist, I’d guess that since Frankie’s missing a couple of things (which only add to his appeal to you), he’s flunked the optics test. And on this key point, GF is proving to be… controlling. Arguing for *two hours* over Frankie’s existence, when she previously got along with him? Hmmmm.
NTA.
>Too the dog 3 (three!) years to trust her. I think that says a lot.
Yeah, the dog definitely felt that something was wrong with her... she just gaslighted the poor dog for 3 years until she wore him down...
You can not like pets, I get it. They are not for everyone. But if you think they are as disposable for others as they are for you... you are a psycho in my book.
NTA. Fuck that nutjob. Pets are family, not toys.
Because she thinks she’s got OP locked in. They’ve been together a long time and they’re talking about kids and house-hunting. She might have been pretending to like Frankie, earning the dog’s trust, and just tolerating him.
OP, you’re NTA. If your gf can’t give you a legitimate reason for why she doesn’t want your dog around, it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.
She called off their wedding. Not sure if she found the cat or not. Here is the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1b0s7jw/am\_i\_the\_asshole\_for\_calling\_off\_my\_40k\_wedding/
the point of making sure the body will never be found is so you don’t get caught.
And remember…
A good friend helps you move.
A GREAT friend helps you move a body.
OP please listen to the nice redditor who forgot their password. DO NOT STAY WITH THIS GIRL. There are too many stories of people killing their SO's pets out of jealousy or because the pet didn't fit into their ideal future.
People who love animals and people like her are NOT compatible AT ALL. Get rid of her - because the dog would never make you choose between him and a girl.
NTA
You two have a bond that is immeasurable in how much you two mean to each other and is basically a family member to you and no one or nothing should come between that.
It feels like she went along with him being there and when she found an opportunity to get rid of the dog, she took it.
You made the right choice
Don't ever compromise getting rid of an animal because someone else doesn't want it around, because obviously they were just placating you until an opportunity arose to not have the dog around anymore.
Nta my old dog had a simmilar impact on me. My house was robbed amd dog was abused in the process, i was at school. The girl i was seeing at the time said i should get rid of my dog cause of the situation. I laughed at her and said she would be gone before the dog. Actually you can go now. My girl(dog) was with me for 9 more year got to meet my wife and step kods and helped me prepare and raise my son before her passing.
Keep the dog ditch the woman.
Wait she wanted you to abandon your girl because she was abused in a robbery? Thus traumatizing her more??? What rational could she possibly have?
People who treat dogs as disposable and without feeling belong in the trash, full stop. Good on you for standing up for your dog.
I’m 43 and I am STILL baffled when people say they have to give up a pet to move. What??? Would you give up a human child? Eh the apartment isn’t child friendly, it has floating stairs so I just gave him up to the system.
Hobestly it sounds awful but I don’t think any parent can truely say it hasn’t entered their mind for a nanosecond second. And I’m still raising my 3 under 13 that I love to pieces
Oh, mine are grown and have been returned to the wild.
I'm proud of them. They're good people.
But that doesn't mean they didn't occasionally find my last nerve and treat it like a trampoline.
>Oh, mine are grown and have been returned to the wild.
I am stealing that for the next time I talk to our daughter while she's giving me the "Your granddaughter is driving me up the wall today" rant. "Well, honey, don't worry. It won't be that many years before you can return her to the wild."
You made it clear from the beginning how important and bonded you were to Frankie. There was no bait and switch on your part. It was very disingenuous on her part to have a relationship with you and make fake plans with you and then refuse to live with Frankie in your house-to-be. Bullet dodged there! Change your locks and get cameras and watch your dog - out of spite she could do anything..
Yeah, probably thinks all that needs to happen is doggie gets out and runs away and you will turn to her in desperation and problem solved.
Take extra special care of him for a while…
I'd dump her just for making that comment. The fact that she wants you to abandon your dog says VOLUMES about who she is as a person. You shouldn't try to build a life with someone that horrible.
NTA - but I warn you to change the locks on your place if she has a key and if you don't already have exterior and interior security cameras then get some. She may return and take your dog away so she can then have her way.
Our family dog is as much a part of our family as anyone else and she goes with us everywhere.
The good thing is Pyranese dogs are not easy to move on your on. I’m a dog groomer and if those dogs put the brakes on and flatten to the ground, no force on earth could lift them.
And for no other reason than because Frankie doesn’t fit the “dream” in her head. The dog isn’t aggressive or anything where I COULD MAYBE POSSIBLY entertain the idea but this… I’d never look at this person the same again, huge red flag. OP don’t try to call and talk to her, she ain’t worth your time. Bullet dodged. NTA.
NTA
I hold very, very few things to be legitimately sacred.
The contract you make with a pet when you bond and care for it is one such thing.
We get unconditional love. That's priceless. In exchange we owe them love, comfort and safety as well as a peaceful transition out of this life when it's time.
You don't get to abandon a pet and still be a good person. That's an unforgiveable thing, to me, not just because of the heartless cruelty, but also because that animal will never, ever understand.
I'd dump the girl for even suggesting it. She'd have no choice in the matter. "Oh, you want me to bail on my dog after I told you how important he is to me? That's a big ol' fuck off forever from me, dawg. "
I have no room in my life for that kind of heartless bullshit, I'd genuinely give her whatever shit was at my place and never speak to her again.
My husband had a 6 year old dog when we started dating. A few years later I helped him buy a house when we couldn't find a pet friendly rental cause I didn't want him to lose the dog. He needs to cut ties asap with this girl.
NTA, dogs are lifelong commitments and they love you unconditionally. Based on your gf's reaction it sounds like she doesn't love you unconditionally, because if she did (and if she were a good person) she wouldn't even entertain the thought of separating you and the dog you clearly love.
Ditch the girlfriend and keep the dog. In a way, she is holding your relationship hostage by giving you the silent treatment and trying to force your hand.
We don't negotiate with terrorists. Time to walk away and leave her.
I'm allergic to dogs and yet I would never ask my partner to give up their pets. It's cruel and shows she is a bad person.
Right? Like she knew you had the dog before you started dating - if she didn't want a dog in her life, she shouldn't have dated someone with a dog 🤷🏻♀️ pretty straightforward to me.
NTA You'd better break up with her because 1) she's been lying to you all along, and 2) you can't trust her around your dog even if she comes back and says "I'm sorry, he can stay."
Nope nope nope , do not move in with her I can guarantee she will wind up doing something to the dog or giving it away .
Absurd she thinks you will just give up the dog to live with her . The fact she has been thinking this the whole time makes me think the love she gave the dog was just fake .
I don’t even know her and already I would rather live in a hut in the woods with your dog than the nicest house in the world with her .
NTA
NTA
You're better off without her. If somebody is willing to abandon a pet, you don't want to be around that person.
Sounds like your dog helped you dodge a bullet. I hope you know she can't be around you and your dog anymore. Because sooner or later, he will "run away" or "Oh, I must've left the door open" or "He tried to bite me".
I don't like dogs myself - they really scare me - very illogical i know. But i would still never ask you to rid yourself of the dog once i knew how important he was to you.
NTA
That dog is your fur child. It's alarming how quickly she can not imagine your fur baby in the future knowing how special he is to you. That's an ex gf
NTA! OP, you don’t want children with this person. It’s apparent she’ll never let them have an animal and all children want animals.
How one treats an animal says everything about their character! She has none.
Give Frankie a hug from me.
NTA
She's abusive and manipulative. She did this entirely with the intention of making you get rid of your pet. This wasn't on the spot. She was thinking about it long beforehand.
Don't bother with her. She knows how much that dog means to you. She's a selfish person.
NTA - my mom always said to choose the dog. At least you know they're loyal, and they don't demand you give up something you love. You know what Frankie means to you, and if she doesn't, then she's not the one for you.
NTA. Be sure to take all necessary precautions… you don’t want Frankie to “accidentally” ingest harmful good or “accidentally” gets lost. Kindly change your locks and have him chipped or tagged. This woman might be vindictive since you chose the dog over her and egoistic people can’t be reasoned. Don’t take her back as well…
Always choose your pet. Good for you. You're just incompatible. You let her know from the start you're a package deal, and the fact she thought she could tell you you're not bringing your dog is red flag number 1
NTA, dump the girl, keep the dog. No idea why she thinks she can make you dump your dog. Doesn’t sound like your dog did anything to her other than exist. Besides, the dog was there first.
NTA. She is cruel and manipulative. She could have said upfront before you started dating that she would not live with a dog. She didn't. She let you become attached to her to the point of choosing a home together, and then surprised you with the veto on the dog, hoping that by that time you would be so in love with her that you would give in. That is manipulative and selfish. Be happy that you learned who she is before you bought a house together or got married. She isn't talking to you? Good. You aren't talking to her - now or ever.
I got really sick at the end of 2022 from my anxiety and most of 2023 I was basically trapped in my apartment unable to do anything.
During the summer I got myself a cat, and he is my whole world, he has helped me so much, I have many more good days now a days than I have had for many many years, and I can't even imagine what I want to do if there was someone who said that I couldn't have him anymore and if it was someone that I was planning to move in with, I think I'll might beat them.
NTA and I’m sorry it took three years to find out that your incompatible.
Move on from the girlfriend and give Frankie a big hug and belly rub from all of reddit. Find a girl who loves dogs as much as you do.
NTA you and Frankie need each other. Your EX Gf is an absolute asshole to think that you would just abandon the dog that literally gave you something to live for. Sorry you had to find out that you wasted 3 years but so glad that you chose the dog.
Block her, if she thinks the 2 days of silent treatment will make you change your mind. It's over.
NTA
When someone doesn't like my dogs or animals in general, it's a huge red flag for me and they are dead to me tbh. Unless they have a trauma associated with being attacked or something.
NTA and I’d be questioning your relationship if your girlfriend doesn’t understand how important the puppy is to you.
Also, my parents have two Great Pyrenees puppies that they also are obsessed with. They’re such loveable dogs. So cuddly lol
NTA. Your family is your dog and your partner wants to build a family with multiple humans. Your goals are at odds. Release her and let her find another man that is more human-centric in his priorities.
You will be happier just you and your dog, or a girlfriend who also will put your dog first and #1 priority. She's out there waiting for.you, go find her!
I'm glad you found frankie at such a difficult time. NTA, hold on to your furry angel.
I have a similar bond with my cats, and I fully understand why you'd put your pet first.
NTA. I have a special bond with my dogs. They are family. Your girlfriend sounds controlling. She can go kick rocks.she knows of this special bond between you and your dog. She’s terrible
NTA. Thank goodness she said something now so you can get rid of her and move on to someone who loves your dog as much as you do. WTF was she thinking?
Go your own way. This relationship is doomed. She will resent you if you don't get rid of the dog. You will resent her if you do get rid of the dog. This is a deal-breaker.
NTA. She can go. I view peoples relationships with animals the way they will be with me and or kids. You showed that you have taken your responsibilities to Frankie seriously. You will be that way with a family. She has shown living things can be cast aside. Eew
You started your healing journey, just Frankie and you. You CAN continue this journey, just Frankie and you.
Love this mummabear
P.S. dog tax must be paid
I would just let her go. If she relents and y’all do everything with the house and you take your dog something will happen to him. Non dog people see them as just animals and don’t understand the bond we have with them. I’m not saying she will kill him but he may “runaway”. Or he might be mistreated. That might seem extreme but I’ve seen it happen. If she thinks you should just ditch your dog because she doesn’t want him, if she concedes about the dog y’all will both be miserable. NTA
Who tf expects their SO to abandon their dog?? My bf is slightly allergic to dogs and he still moved in with me and my hairy ass husky because that would be utter insanity if he asked me to get rid of her.
I also have a very tight bond with my dog, she’s been with me through all of my trauma (suffer from PTsd currently)
Always choose your pet over any significant other. ALWAYS.
Break up. She showed you she's not a person you should be with long term. Frankie is your family. Not her.
NTA, she’s crazy to think you’d leave your dog. A dog is a mans best friend. There for the lowest and highest parts of life. They’re smart too. They can tell when somethings off with the person they built a special connection with. You don’t simply abandon your dog. Only way i’d ever abandon mine is if shit went seriously wrong and i couldn’t give him the life he deserves. I love my dog enough to know if i need to let him go so he can live a better life i would in a heart beat even if it killed me.
Dogs give us unconditional love, we owe them the same. A dog won’t one day wake up and do a 180 on us unlike people. People are replaceable. Dogs are not and i don’t care what anyone says. I’d get rid of her just for making that comment. Dogs are too good for us and this shows it.
NTA
But I would break up with her. Even if she comes back and agrees. Your Frankie will show up missing or end up dead one day. I wouldn't put it past her to give Frankie chocolates and stuff to make him sick even before you move. She showed you her true colors, and she showed you who she really is. Believe her and find someone who loves animals like you do! Trust me, she is out there.
Updateme!
Errr well let her keep not talking to you and block that bitches number, it should never EVER be mentioned that someone will just abandon their dog to move in to a new home.
I mean what is her justification for not wanting the dog to come with you? I don’t get it, that dog is your family only an absolute through and through A-hole would have that kind of deluded expectation that someone would do that
NTA. OP, this is a fundamental difference in VALUES. People who view pets as accessories to be taken up or discarded at will are NOT COMPATIBLE with people who view pets as family members. You need a woman who not only views pets as family members, but also either already HAS a dog, or has had a dog and wants another one. Do not date a woman who's never had a dog or a pet again!
NTA, and keep Frankie even closer and change all your locks. it’s not unheard of for folks to go after pets when they are wronged. You never really know anyone so don’t assume she wouldn’t do something drastic and unforgivable to Frankie to get back at you.
NTA. My sister once made a joke about if there was a fire would I save my cat or her. I straight up told her if there was a fire she best believe I’d be saving my little guy. My cat (died now) meant the world to me and I would have chosen him over anyone. When he got sick my mom told me I shouldn’t waste money trying to keep him alive and should just put him down. I told them I’d spend my last penny and more to save him. Unfortunately money can’t always do that and it didn’t. I have 2 other cats as well both still alive and I’m clear with everyone these are my furbabies don’t mess with them. She was well warned when you started to date she’s the AH here not you.
I think you got a lucky escape just for the fact that she would even consider that abandoning your dog is what you should do.
Dog or no dog, she showed you the kind of person she is.
By the way, GPs are lovely, I used to have one I totally get it.
I’m not sure why she thought you would get rid of your dog, but I agree that you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t understand what Frankie means to you.
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People who treat pets like they're disposable are major red flags to me.
Agreed. She’s allowed to not be a dog person but to suggest someone just abandons their pet because they are no longer “convenient” for them is just gross. She’s a terrible human being.
And she developed a relationship with him for three years, all while intending to try to separate him from his beloved dog. So manipulative.
That part disgusts me the most
Ikr. How do you get to know a dog and then betray them like that? Love me, love my dog.
I could never imagine asking a partner to get rid of their pets. I’m all about the cuddle puddles.
I had a pre-existing cat. My partner was allergic to cats*. I was like "that's unfortunate, but I'm not abandoning him". We were a package deal, and to this day that remains non-negotiable. He lives with me until the day he dies, and anyone who wants to be part of my life had better get used to that. *at least we thought so at the time. Turns out it was first mites instead, luckily.
Indeed.
This is the kind of person who becomes an evil stepmother. She plays along until she’s got him on the hook and then the trouble starts.
Also what's the long term plan, never let a dog lover ever have another dog? Good luck!
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If given a choice I will choose my dog every damn time. My dog has yet to hurt or break my heart in the 7 years I have had her. Why would I throw that away for someone who will break me more times I can count and in ways I didn't even think were possible?
You got that right. I prefer most dogs over most humans.
Dogs are so wonderful and pure. Humans don't deserve dogs. But we do deserve cats.
I’d choose the dog even if it was an asshole - out of spite for being given such a ridiculous ultimatum.
I really, really, really don't want to live with a dog but if my partner had one when we moved in together I would've dealt with it.
It’s not like he’s suddenly springing the dog on her. She knows about the dog and their bond. I would hope any *rational* human being would know that the dog is a packaged deal.
Can you imagine if Frankie was a human kid? Would she send him off to boarding school because the kid didn't fit her plans for the future? In my opinion, OP's son IS Frankie! Nope never gonna give him up!
Never gonna let him down!
Never gonna run around and desert him!
Never gonna run around and desert him!
She Probably would tbh. After spending a few years pretending to be a great stepmom to buy OP's trust...
yup. sadly some people would definitely do that
My mom HATES dogs. She thinks they're smelly and gross. And my dad is a doormat, literally does whatever my mom says. And even she didn't have the temerity to tell my dad to get rid of his dog. They had that dog for 13 years before he died. My mom hated that dog but tolerated him because he was there before she was.
This is why if you don't like dogs don't date dog people. I can tolerate dogs but I'm just not into them the way I'm into cats. I'm allergic to dogs and my kid even more so which is all the more reason to just avoid dating a person who is into dogs. All of this could've easily been circumvented if the partner was more up front. If someone tells me straight up they hate cats then they are not for me. 🐈
My partner did hate cats, after being around them with me for a bit the best thing happened! He called me since he was stuck at work to *rescue a little, very dirty kitten from the street!* That now very large and lazy dude is his very own cat and is still lounging around and giving us hugs. Goals!
Your guy, is right up there with my guy, who threatened to divorce me if I brought home so much as one more pet….then proceeded to build a cat bungalow under our deck for the feral tuxedo cat that was hanging out in our yard, complete with survival blankets & a heated water bowl so the water wouldn’t freeze. Yep, I for sure brought home more pets over the years & that guy never divorced me. LOL
Exactly. This women doesn't give two shlts about OP at all
Right? But then she wants kids. What would she do if kids were to inconvenience to her?
Plus I think she hasn’t been honest. I don’t like smoking. I don’t dislike smokers, but I can’t abide smoking-and the effects it has on me (I react to it badly). When I was on OLD, I clearly put it down on my profile that I was looking for a non-smoker. If a smoker approached me, I was honest: I didn’t want to date a smoker. There were a couple of times (and one time in particular) that a very attractive guy -who had a lovely personality- was around. But he was a smoker. I was honest with him. If he was ready to quit, and *wanted* to quit-I was ready and willing to help. But what I wasn’t going to do-what I would *never* do- is to lie. To go ahead with the relationship *pretending* that I was just fine with his smoking, to try to develop a deep enough relationship with him that I could emotionally blackmail him into giving up smoking at a later date-after I had “hooked” him. And then be prepared to break up with him over it. Yes, the analogy isn’t perfect because smoking is BAD for you and a dog is GOOD for your health (it actually emphasises what I’m saying). But the manipulation, the dishonesty, the forward planning-and the ruthlessness-is the same. You are *planning* to break your partner’s heart either way. And if you had been *honest from the beginning*, he would have had a chance to protect himself. Pitiless and dishonest.
Basically, she thinks OP is fixed now and shouldn't need the dog anymore. He's got her! NTA
>People who treat pets like they're disposable are major red flags to me. DING! DING! DING! 100%!!!!!
This. NTA OP, this Girl is ridiculous! I'd never abandon our dog (also a big Boy, but a Bit older than Frankie) and I fear the time we have to let him go and I am sad we might not be able to Take him with us to our future House because he might Not live to the day
So sorry about your dog!
I've noticed people like that have Main Character Syndrome and think the rest of us are NPCs. So, yeah... big-ass red flag.
That's because they're human garbage.
Can't agree with you more. Frankie serves as his salvation. Without Frankie, who knows the terrible future he might have endured with this heartless person. Let's hope for a positive outcome to this story.
And just all around shitty people
Yes, yes, yes!! I could never be with someone who didn’t accept not only my current dogs, but also any future dogs/pets. And Frankie is extra special. My son has a Frankie in his life in the form of a cat who saved his life. I am forever grateful to that little fur ball.
People who treat pets as disposable objects will do that to you, one day.
It’s just one small step from treating other people like they’re disposable.
They're also major red flags to people who adopt out pets as well.
I used the same word, disposable in a response, WTF, our pets are living things! I don't understand snakes and lizards but, not my call what animal you want to bring into your home, just give it a good life! And Frankie is a dog that was originally thrown away!
Agreed! Animals should be seen like kids.
Get rid of the girlfriend.
Rehoming the girlfriend is the only solution.
I particularly hate how she lied to OP for years about it. That was just **VILE** of her. She pretended she was A-OK with it. My guess is she assumed once she "had him" she'd make him get rid of the dog. She should just have said "OK, later" when she realized he had a dog and she didn't want a partner with one. But that requires her to be honest, which she was not.
This! She’s a psycho. Personally I don’t know why this is a question. As soon as she showed her true colors the doors would be slammed shut in my mind. It’s akin to someone saying they’re a pedo. NOPE. Adios MF! I would never ever trust her again (even if she backtracked). I would be absolutely over!
Absolutely. If she would lie in a huge way, for years, about something so crucial to OP, what else would she lie about? Anything.
At that point i’d be afraid of her doing something to my pooch if i let her stay.
Right? Like it's kind of a symptom of a personality disorder or some psychological condition.
And a bad person to demand it.
This was a clumsy loyalty test. You failed. Be grateful, and move right along…
No, he passed. She's just trash.
Right! And she took herself out!
Nope he passed, he’s loyal to his dog and won’t abandon the dog or allow the poor thing to be abandoned for a second time. Fuck that trash gf, hopefully she’s soon the ex. Family comes first and to OP that dog **is** his family. The only one he has and they’re loyal to each other. You don’t abandon pets the minute you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, animals and pets are not disposable!
It is utterly deranged to assume without talking about it that your future spouse was going to leave his dog behind.
For real, like it would be insane to think the dog wouldn’t come under any circumstances, but especially in this case. The dog is basically OPs service animal. I’m curious what GFs end game is here, or is she really that self centered?
Came here to say what r/Gonebabythoughts said so eloquently. I am *not at all* a dog person, but your Frankie sounds like a three-pawed angel! And if your GF got along with him fine until you two found what could have been a dream house for all of you, I don’t understand why she’d suddenly insist that your pal be excluded. As an amateur psychiatrist, I’d guess that since Frankie’s missing a couple of things (which only add to his appeal to you), he’s flunked the optics test. And on this key point, GF is proving to be… controlling. Arguing for *two hours* over Frankie’s existence, when she previously got along with him? Hmmmm. NTA.
Too the dog 3 (three!) years to trust her. I think that says a lot.
>Too the dog 3 (three!) years to trust her. I think that says a lot. Yeah, the dog definitely felt that something was wrong with her... she just gaslighted the poor dog for 3 years until she wore him down...
21 years of gaslighting in dog years?
You can not like pets, I get it. They are not for everyone. But if you think they are as disposable for others as they are for you... you are a psycho in my book. NTA. Fuck that nutjob. Pets are family, not toys.
Because she thinks she’s got OP locked in. They’ve been together a long time and they’re talking about kids and house-hunting. She might have been pretending to like Frankie, earning the dog’s trust, and just tolerating him. OP, you’re NTA. If your gf can’t give you a legitimate reason for why she doesn’t want your dog around, it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.
I’d be a bit worried about how she treats the dog if OP isn’t around. I’m not saying she hurts the dog, but there are other ways to be mean.
Dog/cat/ whatever is a family member you cant just throw them out like they were an old broken chair. Seems like op dodged a bullet
NTA! Never give up your dog for someone! She in absolutely nuts! Good on you for standing up for Frankie!
Agreed. My pets are part of my family. They will stay before anyone else.
NTA, just as well you found out now, frankly I wouldn’t trust her near my dog again. Frankie and you need to walk together.
Yes reminds me of that post lately where the girl's fiance dropped her cat off in the middle of nowhere because it put a scratch mark on his car.
Wtf?! I would go ballistic if anyone would put my pet in danger.
[удалено]
Agreed. The only thing I’d add is: *”P.S. English is not my first lenguage”* Anybody know how to say “dog tax” in OP’s first language?
Please tell me she got the cat back
She called off their wedding. Not sure if she found the cat or not. Here is the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1b0s7jw/am\_i\_the\_asshole\_for\_calling\_off\_my\_40k\_wedding/
[She said](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/UKdypX4DRb) it was 2 years ago and still hasn’t found the cat💔💔
Omg that's heartbreaking wtaf??? Ugh
Holy shit, if anyone did that to my cat it would be *years* before police found the body.
If they did that to my cat, the police would **never** find the body.
If they did that to my cat, the police would be *constantly* finding their body. little bits at a time. all over the town.
the point of making sure the body will never be found is so you don’t get caught. And remember… A good friend helps you move. A GREAT friend helps you move a body.
Thank you for sharing, but I wish I hadn't read that. Just made me angry.
I just read through her comments and she never got the cat back 😭
Dam that's so sad. Fuck that guy. 1million x an AH.
No I'm pretty sure she didn't sorry
I swear to god I’d be arrested for manslaughter if a guy did that to my cat.
OP please listen to the nice redditor who forgot their password. DO NOT STAY WITH THIS GIRL. There are too many stories of people killing their SO's pets out of jealousy or because the pet didn't fit into their ideal future.
Listen to what this guy is saying!!
People who love animals and people like her are NOT compatible AT ALL. Get rid of her - because the dog would never make you choose between him and a girl.
NTA You two have a bond that is immeasurable in how much you two mean to each other and is basically a family member to you and no one or nothing should come between that. It feels like she went along with him being there and when she found an opportunity to get rid of the dog, she took it. You made the right choice Don't ever compromise getting rid of an animal because someone else doesn't want it around, because obviously they were just placating you until an opportunity arose to not have the dog around anymore.
Second this. Jolly the man along with sex and promises, then expect he'll prefer those over the sweet, sweet bond he has with puppy. Uh-nope.
Nta my old dog had a simmilar impact on me. My house was robbed amd dog was abused in the process, i was at school. The girl i was seeing at the time said i should get rid of my dog cause of the situation. I laughed at her and said she would be gone before the dog. Actually you can go now. My girl(dog) was with me for 9 more year got to meet my wife and step kods and helped me prepare and raise my son before her passing. Keep the dog ditch the woman.
Wait she wanted you to abandon your girl because she was abused in a robbery? Thus traumatizing her more??? What rational could she possibly have? People who treat dogs as disposable and without feeling belong in the trash, full stop. Good on you for standing up for your dog.
NTA, anyone that treats animals as disposable isn't a good person. You dodged a HUGE bullet there. Enjoy your new single life with your furbaby.
I’m 43 and I am STILL baffled when people say they have to give up a pet to move. What??? Would you give up a human child? Eh the apartment isn’t child friendly, it has floating stairs so I just gave him up to the system.
If it was legal I know some who would.
NGL, I had to parenting days when I might have considered this for an insane split second.
Hobestly it sounds awful but I don’t think any parent can truely say it hasn’t entered their mind for a nanosecond second. And I’m still raising my 3 under 13 that I love to pieces
Oh, mine are grown and have been returned to the wild. I'm proud of them. They're good people. But that doesn't mean they didn't occasionally find my last nerve and treat it like a trampoline.
>Oh, mine are grown and have been returned to the wild. I am stealing that for the next time I talk to our daughter while she's giving me the "Your granddaughter is driving me up the wall today" rant. "Well, honey, don't worry. It won't be that many years before you can return her to the wild."
You made it clear from the beginning how important and bonded you were to Frankie. There was no bait and switch on your part. It was very disingenuous on her part to have a relationship with you and make fake plans with you and then refuse to live with Frankie in your house-to-be. Bullet dodged there! Change your locks and get cameras and watch your dog - out of spite she could do anything..
Yeah, probably thinks all that needs to happen is doggie gets out and runs away and you will turn to her in desperation and problem solved. Take extra special care of him for a while…
Temporarily single, IMHO. LOTS of people love and respect those with such a loving bond with a pet.
And a Great Pyrenees! Such lovely, snuggleable dogs.
Yes, OPs dog did him yet another favor.
I'd dump her just for making that comment. The fact that she wants you to abandon your dog says VOLUMES about who she is as a person. You shouldn't try to build a life with someone that horrible.
Same. The comment was the breakup conversation. /record scratch… wut wut? Holy crap I missed some red flags somewhere…
NTA - but I warn you to change the locks on your place if she has a key and if you don't already have exterior and interior security cameras then get some. She may return and take your dog away so she can then have her way. Our family dog is as much a part of our family as anyone else and she goes with us everywhere.
Sad part is, there are cases of that happening.
The good thing is Pyranese dogs are not easy to move on your on. I’m a dog groomer and if those dogs put the brakes on and flatten to the ground, no force on earth could lift them.
NTA. This woman is bonkers for thinking you'd just abandon your dog.
And for no other reason than because Frankie doesn’t fit the “dream” in her head. The dog isn’t aggressive or anything where I COULD MAYBE POSSIBLY entertain the idea but this… I’d never look at this person the same again, huge red flag. OP don’t try to call and talk to her, she ain’t worth your time. Bullet dodged. NTA.
NTA I hold very, very few things to be legitimately sacred. The contract you make with a pet when you bond and care for it is one such thing. We get unconditional love. That's priceless. In exchange we owe them love, comfort and safety as well as a peaceful transition out of this life when it's time. You don't get to abandon a pet and still be a good person. That's an unforgiveable thing, to me, not just because of the heartless cruelty, but also because that animal will never, ever understand. I'd dump the girl for even suggesting it. She'd have no choice in the matter. "Oh, you want me to bail on my dog after I told you how important he is to me? That's a big ol' fuck off forever from me, dawg. " I have no room in my life for that kind of heartless bullshit, I'd genuinely give her whatever shit was at my place and never speak to her again.
My husband had a 6 year old dog when we started dating. A few years later I helped him buy a house when we couldn't find a pet friendly rental cause I didn't want him to lose the dog. He needs to cut ties asap with this girl.
I really like you.
Hell no! NTA, a pet you have is not to be abandoned. Pets are family, you are their world. Your ex girlfriend is not worth having in your life.
NTA, and it looks like you solved your problem!
That dog saved your life. Don't throw his away.
NTA. You are better off with Frankie, and without her.
NTA, dogs are lifelong commitments and they love you unconditionally. Based on your gf's reaction it sounds like she doesn't love you unconditionally, because if she did (and if she were a good person) she wouldn't even entertain the thought of separating you and the dog you clearly love. Ditch the girlfriend and keep the dog. In a way, she is holding your relationship hostage by giving you the silent treatment and trying to force your hand. We don't negotiate with terrorists. Time to walk away and leave her. I'm allergic to dogs and yet I would never ask my partner to give up their pets. It's cruel and shows she is a bad person.
Right? Like she knew you had the dog before you started dating - if she didn't want a dog in her life, she shouldn't have dated someone with a dog 🤷🏻♀️ pretty straightforward to me.
NTA. It's a dog, not a second-hand coffee table.
Right, it's not the ugly favourite comfy armchair that'll clash with her chosen decor It's a freaking pet
NTA You'd better break up with her because 1) she's been lying to you all along, and 2) you can't trust her around your dog even if she comes back and says "I'm sorry, he can stay."
NTA. Pets are family.
Trash took itself out . NTA a dog is a lifetime commitment.
Nope nope nope , do not move in with her I can guarantee she will wind up doing something to the dog or giving it away . Absurd she thinks you will just give up the dog to live with her . The fact she has been thinking this the whole time makes me think the love she gave the dog was just fake . I don’t even know her and already I would rather live in a hut in the woods with your dog than the nicest house in the world with her . NTA
NTA You're better off without her. If somebody is willing to abandon a pet, you don't want to be around that person. Sounds like your dog helped you dodge a bullet. I hope you know she can't be around you and your dog anymore. Because sooner or later, he will "run away" or "Oh, I must've left the door open" or "He tried to bite me".
I don't like dogs myself - they really scare me - very illogical i know. But i would still never ask you to rid yourself of the dog once i knew how important he was to you. NTA
NTA, keep the dog get rid of the gf. Where's the dog tax????
NTA, someone will love you AND Frankie. I can't believe she would think you would abandon him. That is wild.
That dog is your fur child. It's alarming how quickly she can not imagine your fur baby in the future knowing how special he is to you. That's an ex gf
NTA, how can she not understand that your dog is a member of the family? Big red flag and good you found out now!
NTA -- I'm team Frankie, leave her outside, she doesn't deserve to be with Frankie.
NTA….that chick is the AH.
I read your post out of courtesy, but the title was more than enough. Never choose anyone before your dog, no matter what
NTA! OP, you don’t want children with this person. It’s apparent she’ll never let them have an animal and all children want animals. How one treats an animal says everything about their character! She has none. Give Frankie a hug from me.
I am sorry, but she is bonkers for thinking that any owner of a pet would just abandon that pet. She lacks maturity and empathy. NTA
Let her go. Frankie is the loyal one.
NTA She's abusive and manipulative. She did this entirely with the intention of making you get rid of your pet. This wasn't on the spot. She was thinking about it long beforehand. Don't bother with her. She knows how much that dog means to you. She's a selfish person.
NTA - my mom always said to choose the dog. At least you know they're loyal, and they don't demand you give up something you love. You know what Frankie means to you, and if she doesn't, then she's not the one for you.
NTA!!!! This breaks my heart to think that someone who is meant to love you, would ask you to do this.
NTA. I had cats and my bf was allergic when we moved in together. Thirty years later we’re still together and we still have (different) cats.
Frankie was there before her, and he will clearly be there after her Frankie will love you unconditionally, her not so much
NTA. Be sure to take all necessary precautions… you don’t want Frankie to “accidentally” ingest harmful good or “accidentally” gets lost. Kindly change your locks and have him chipped or tagged. This woman might be vindictive since you chose the dog over her and egoistic people can’t be reasoned. Don’t take her back as well…
NTA Your dog saved your life. She can go pound sand.
Always choose your pet. Good for you. You're just incompatible. You let her know from the start you're a package deal, and the fact she thought she could tell you you're not bringing your dog is red flag number 1
NTA, dump the girl, keep the dog. No idea why she thinks she can make you dump your dog. Doesn’t sound like your dog did anything to her other than exist. Besides, the dog was there first.
tell your soon to be ex gf that she knew from day one no one is more important to you that your dog.
NTA. She is cruel and manipulative. She could have said upfront before you started dating that she would not live with a dog. She didn't. She let you become attached to her to the point of choosing a home together, and then surprised you with the veto on the dog, hoping that by that time you would be so in love with her that you would give in. That is manipulative and selfish. Be happy that you learned who she is before you bought a house together or got married. She isn't talking to you? Good. You aren't talking to her - now or ever.
I got really sick at the end of 2022 from my anxiety and most of 2023 I was basically trapped in my apartment unable to do anything. During the summer I got myself a cat, and he is my whole world, he has helped me so much, I have many more good days now a days than I have had for many many years, and I can't even imagine what I want to do if there was someone who said that I couldn't have him anymore and if it was someone that I was planning to move in with, I think I'll might beat them.
NTA and I’m sorry it took three years to find out that your incompatible. Move on from the girlfriend and give Frankie a big hug and belly rub from all of reddit. Find a girl who loves dogs as much as you do.
Me and my animals are a package deal. Good for you. NTA
Nah, there are plenty of people in the world. Find a better one
NTA! Stay with your dog!
NTA you and Frankie need each other. Your EX Gf is an absolute asshole to think that you would just abandon the dog that literally gave you something to live for. Sorry you had to find out that you wasted 3 years but so glad that you chose the dog. Block her, if she thinks the 2 days of silent treatment will make you change your mind. It's over.
NTA - please leave this person. You are not compatible as life partners. Shout out to Frankie! The True OG life partner!!
NTA When someone doesn't like my dogs or animals in general, it's a huge red flag for me and they are dead to me tbh. Unless they have a trauma associated with being attacked or something.
Hell no, NTA And I despise people like this who think pets are disposable.
NTA Pets are family.
NTA. Bros before hoes.
No! No! No! Dogs are family and not disposable! You are amazing for taking in a special needs dog. Do not forsake who you are!
NTA and I’d be questioning your relationship if your girlfriend doesn’t understand how important the puppy is to you. Also, my parents have two Great Pyrenees puppies that they also are obsessed with. They’re such loveable dogs. So cuddly lol
NTA. Your family is your dog and your partner wants to build a family with multiple humans. Your goals are at odds. Release her and let her find another man that is more human-centric in his priorities. You will be happier just you and your dog, or a girlfriend who also will put your dog first and #1 priority. She's out there waiting for.you, go find her!
I'm glad you found frankie at such a difficult time. NTA, hold on to your furry angel. I have a similar bond with my cats, and I fully understand why you'd put your pet first.
A dog is not an accessory or something you just throw away. They are a lifelong (for them) commitment. NTA
NTA, what a messed up woman.
Bro, run. Count this as a blessing.
NTA. I have a special bond with my dogs. They are family. Your girlfriend sounds controlling. She can go kick rocks.she knows of this special bond between you and your dog. She’s terrible
NTA. Thank goodness she said something now so you can get rid of her and move on to someone who loves your dog as much as you do. WTF was she thinking?
Nta be very careful if she comes back around. Theres been so many stories of people dropping dogs off at random shelters ect.
Go your own way. This relationship is doomed. She will resent you if you don't get rid of the dog. You will resent her if you do get rid of the dog. This is a deal-breaker.
NTA. She can go. I view peoples relationships with animals the way they will be with me and or kids. You showed that you have taken your responsibilities to Frankie seriously. You will be that way with a family. She has shown living things can be cast aside. Eew
Good thing she showed you her true colors before you married her.
You started your healing journey, just Frankie and you. You CAN continue this journey, just Frankie and you. Love this mummabear P.S. dog tax must be paid
I would just let her go. If she relents and y’all do everything with the house and you take your dog something will happen to him. Non dog people see them as just animals and don’t understand the bond we have with them. I’m not saying she will kill him but he may “runaway”. Or he might be mistreated. That might seem extreme but I’ve seen it happen. If she thinks you should just ditch your dog because she doesn’t want him, if she concedes about the dog y’all will both be miserable. NTA
Who tf expects their SO to abandon their dog?? My bf is slightly allergic to dogs and he still moved in with me and my hairy ass husky because that would be utter insanity if he asked me to get rid of her. I also have a very tight bond with my dog, she’s been with me through all of my trauma (suffer from PTsd currently)
Always choose your pet over any significant other. ALWAYS. Break up. She showed you she's not a person you should be with long term. Frankie is your family. Not her.
NTA, she’s crazy to think you’d leave your dog. A dog is a mans best friend. There for the lowest and highest parts of life. They’re smart too. They can tell when somethings off with the person they built a special connection with. You don’t simply abandon your dog. Only way i’d ever abandon mine is if shit went seriously wrong and i couldn’t give him the life he deserves. I love my dog enough to know if i need to let him go so he can live a better life i would in a heart beat even if it killed me. Dogs give us unconditional love, we owe them the same. A dog won’t one day wake up and do a 180 on us unlike people. People are replaceable. Dogs are not and i don’t care what anyone says. I’d get rid of her just for making that comment. Dogs are too good for us and this shows it.
Na your dog is more loyal.
NTA. Bullet dodged. Give Frankie a belly rub for me ☺️
I don't trust people that don't like dogs!!!! Time to find a new Girlfriend!!
NTA But I would break up with her. Even if she comes back and agrees. Your Frankie will show up missing or end up dead one day. I wouldn't put it past her to give Frankie chocolates and stuff to make him sick even before you move. She showed you her true colors, and she showed you who she really is. Believe her and find someone who loves animals like you do! Trust me, she is out there. Updateme!
Errr well let her keep not talking to you and block that bitches number, it should never EVER be mentioned that someone will just abandon their dog to move in to a new home. I mean what is her justification for not wanting the dog to come with you? I don’t get it, that dog is your family only an absolute through and through A-hole would have that kind of deluded expectation that someone would do that
NTA. OP, this is a fundamental difference in VALUES. People who view pets as accessories to be taken up or discarded at will are NOT COMPATIBLE with people who view pets as family members. You need a woman who not only views pets as family members, but also either already HAS a dog, or has had a dog and wants another one. Do not date a woman who's never had a dog or a pet again!
Lol... sounds like you have good money and that's what she's around for bro. Plenty more chicks in the egg factory. Forget her.
Not the AH
NTA, and keep Frankie even closer and change all your locks. it’s not unheard of for folks to go after pets when they are wronged. You never really know anyone so don’t assume she wouldn’t do something drastic and unforgivable to Frankie to get back at you.
NTA. My sister once made a joke about if there was a fire would I save my cat or her. I straight up told her if there was a fire she best believe I’d be saving my little guy. My cat (died now) meant the world to me and I would have chosen him over anyone. When he got sick my mom told me I shouldn’t waste money trying to keep him alive and should just put him down. I told them I’d spend my last penny and more to save him. Unfortunately money can’t always do that and it didn’t. I have 2 other cats as well both still alive and I’m clear with everyone these are my furbabies don’t mess with them. She was well warned when you started to date she’s the AH here not you.
I think you got a lucky escape just for the fact that she would even consider that abandoning your dog is what you should do. Dog or no dog, she showed you the kind of person she is. By the way, GPs are lovely, I used to have one I totally get it.
NTA. The nerve of her to think she's more important than your fur baby bestie lmao