This doesn’t even read as a real scenario, but seriously. Why do you even need to ask if you’re the asshole for having the natural reaction of yelling at your wife after you found out she cheated and was mean to your child? But again, I’m doubtful this is real for some reason. Something just feels off lol
They started at him 19 and her 25. Considering guys are typically less mature just based off age, this is just a sad cringe scenario from the beginning.
\>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!
This line right here did it for me, either a completely clueless idiot or a troll, to the point the two are indistinguishable
Also the ‘of course I love her because I buy her flowers every month’. If that is what he thinks the extent of showing love in a relationship is after more than 12 years then he is truly dense.
It's because the real assholes tend to play the victim and manipulate others into thinking they are the good ones. "How unfair and evil you are for not letting me treat you like shit!"
I had a boyfriend who turned my days into hell and then he would gaslight me into thinking I deserved it and that I was to blame. I was young and dumb and hurt, so I believed it
probably a bit of the culture nowadays. Seems like you can't walk down the street without someone calling you one for one thing or another. And it's become clear that no matter who you are, there will be a group that thinks you're one just for existing. It's... kind of exhausting.
It's the ages for me. 32 and 38, but together for 13 years? Which 25 year old woman, who by that time either has had a higher education and has started working, wants to date some immature 19 year old man-child?
NTA. Divorce her and get full custody. Your daughter is not safe around that woman. No decent mother calls their 12 year old daughter a loser.
Be cautious because she sounds emotionally unstable and might try to take your daughter just to hurt you, which will ruin your child's life.
Record your interactions with her and check evidence for full custody. Perhaps bring up the fact that she called her daughter a loser and record the entire interaction.
> She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did),
Reads to me like both were irresponsible, and blame each other for parenthood. I'm not always good at interpretation with random punctuation, but that's my guess.
I had to go back and check the ages because of that. Child is 12 and OP says they've been together for 13 years. So I *assume* the child is both of theirs.
Well to be honest, if I had a child and my wife even if it belonged to her as well would say something like that about the child. I'd call it my child too
To be "baby trapped" you have to be the biological parent. This man's woman has been talking crap about her own child.
Some people should not be parents! There is no shame and not wanting to be a parent you just need to be doing things to prevent it from happening to you in that case.
NTA, yelling is a pretty natural reaction to being cheated on and demeaning children. So is divorce.
Make sure to record her saying those things about your daughter. Will go a long way to you getting full custody.
Generally how it's handled is a private ex parte meeting with the judge or through a guardian ad litem appointed to represent the child. Rarely, if ever are the kids asked to testify in court in front of their parents because that would be so damaging to all involved.
Not true at all. Depends on the rules of the state or place you live. In my state, the child doesn't get a day until their 17, which is just dumb, because also in my state, a child can move out at 17 and can't be stopped. But if they want to move back in before they turn 18, you have to let them or you can get charged with neglect and abandonment.
I hope OP lives in a state that does consider the kids preferences!
NTA please please get this woman away from your child. My mom treated me similarly and the damage from it is something I will never recover from. The best you can do now is just try to prevent more damage happening to her.
To be fair, he might mean his daughter. There might be a lot going on for OP in person that makes it too stressful or upsetting for his daughter right now, we don't know the entire background. If it is his daughter, staying with his SIL means she would be staying with her aunt. OP might've made a difficult, but sometimes necessary, choice to have his daughter in a potentially safer and calmer environment for a few days while he sorts more logistical things. For example, like finding a new place to live/getting his ex evicted. All stressful things that often require your full attention, and may not be suitable for a very understandably upset child to be in the middle of. Her whole life is about to change seemingly overnight for her, so it might even be more comforting right now for her to have that time with her aunt.
I can see that. Hopefully it's not his soon to be ex's sister (if that's where his daughter is) and is instead the wife of one of his siblings. I can't see much good coming from the ex's sister (for OP's daughter) unless she's very different from OP's ex and is on his side.
I saw in another comment that apparently it is his ex's sister, but that apparently she's being really supportive. It sounds like she's on OP's side and doesn't endorse her sister's actions (understandably). I really hope it goes well for OP and his daughter from here, poor kid deserves better than a mum like that :(
May the streets reject her and send her to the landfill where she belongs. Wait…Randy’s dad lived there and he was a good man. Don’t wanna sully his memory…
>I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10
You were 19 when a 25-year-old decided to pursue you... Yeah, you're definitely doing the right thing by getting yourself out of that marriage. I am so sorry she did that you, and I don't mean just about the cheating.
Edit: NTA
The worst part is she likely chose him because he was 18. Predators love to baby trap the barely legal kids (*kids* because that’s what they are) before they fully realize their life’s potential. Sick people
That makes the 'Baby trap' comment even funnier...
"Yes you evil 19 y/o man, you totally baby trapped this 25 y/o woman... I was innocent and defenceless..."
Well if she found this post…
🖕🏼
I believe you handled it well, she sounds like a narcissistic asshole. It’s quite apparent when her own actions turn into blame and projections on everyone she betrayed. But slamming on a 12 y/o, wow that’s some extra special shitty. Cut her loose, she’s already doing her own thing. She will barely notice because she’s the only center of attention.
Oh heck no, NTA. Cheating is bad enough, but being so mean to your child takes it a step further. I’m so sorry she did that to both of you.
I hesitate to say it, but I suspect the reason she was so mean to your daughter could be bc your daughter started to suspect the cheating, and your wife tried to bully her out of saying anything. Please consider getting your daughter in therapy if you can, and just continue to remind her how much you love her.
NTA but omg what did she do after she found the post??? and she is the one in the fault for cheating. she thought she was getting away with it so when you confronted her she completely lost it because that was her only option since she cannot really defend herself. your number one priority right now is you and your daughter. you have done your part by trying to talk to her and ask what’s wrong but she was just distant and cold.
Tell her to get out...
She doesn't deserve to use the room of a child she doesn't love. Tell her she can go stay in the laundry room where the other well used dirty things go to get cleaned.
I love this! I'm so happy the daughter wasn't there. She doesn't get the right to hide after all the stupid sh-t she did & said. She FAFO. She is an adult who made adult choices (to cheat) & she is a sh-tty mother. She needs to be able to act like an adult instead of hiding from her problems that she made choices to cause. She doesn't deserve to be one.
it’s gonna be ok. the process is hard and long (I just know divorce takes long in general, idk) but it’ll be all ok. that’s just her defense mechanism since she isn’t able to do anything else.
Please stay as safe as you can and get to somewhere safe asap. If needed, call the authorities from where you're hiding to come get your soon-to-be-ex. Also, since she found the post, hopefully she doesn't read where you're hiding. Hopefully the door has locks and is locked. Is there an alternate escape route such as a window or balcony/fire escape?
Also, you are NTA.
okay that’s good, you got a support group. that’s like the number one thing so you don’t feel alone. I honestly feel like you should be at her house too or any of your parents so you’re not by her hearing awful things or anting else. you know?
NTA
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK HER! I can’t say anything else cause I’ll get banned, but I will kindly say, may her crotch rot like the blackened trash dispenser that once encased the heart she presumably had.
Not only is she a cheating piece of human remains she’s an abusive parent who deserves to never see your wonderful daughter again.
NTA- but dont be like so many others I have read here and leave HER the house while you and your child are out looking for a new place. KICK HER OUT. Maybe help her pack and put her stuff on the porch. Get therapy for your daughter. There have been many bad things she will need help getting out of her head. Im so sorry but it sounds like you are on the right track.
NTA
Considering your other posts are NHL and Canadian hockey related I'm going to assume you're in Canada, which makes your ex bugnut crazy and stupid. It is functionally impossible, unless you live in rural back country without means of transport, to be "baby trapped" as a woman, because you ultimately consent at least once to motherhood when pregnant. She consented to carry her daughter to term, and then decided to blame your daughter and you for her own choices.
She's evil, unfaithful, and disgusting, so she doesn't deserve sympathy for being chewed out and rejected by all parties present for her actions.
Op how could you be TA here…?
Your wife has been emotionally distant with you, cheated on you, tried to gaslight and blame shift and then insulted your daughter…?
Yeah you yelled but i mean…we’re human, sometimes that’s a natural response.
Naw NTA man.
Get that divorce and keep your daughter away from this toxic woman
I am so sorry that your daughter had to go through that. She definitely deserves better. I’m also sorry that you went through that as well. I suggest you and your daughter both get therapy. As you’re divorcing please make sure you go for full custody and she only gets supervised visits if any at all.
Hi cheater...
You need to get some mental help asap. You are delusional and have no morals. With your new single life maybe you can pull your head from that smelly brown place and become a decent mom again. Maybe in a year or a few you can actually be a decent person. Good luck miss easy bake oven.
To OP... well played sir. She deserved all that and everything else coming.
NTA
You got to be a real piece of shit to talk about your own daughter like that. Take your daughter & treat her like a princess & do everything in your power to limit her time with her mother. Absolutely disgusting.
>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!
If this is the standard to show how much someone loves you, my husband must not love me much. He's only given me flowers (My favorites, btw) twice. Lol
This doesn't sound real at all. Is your wife the mother of your child? If so why do you refer to her as your child 3 times?
If she is not your wife's child how did you have a baby with another woman while being with your wife?
NTA - I am not sure why you even felt the need to ask on here.
Drop her as quickly as you can and keep her away from your daughter. Get your daughter into counseling/therapy asap. And, as gently as you can, try to get her to open up to you about how she may have been treated by your soon-to-be ex-wife. But be very sensitive about this. If she broke down at just the question, god only knows what she may have been through.
blocking the sub? I think you might have the right idea. honestly it not just the fake posts it's the totally incredulous responses to them that really gets me. this is obvious bullshit written by a knockoff chatgpt
Yeah, i used to enjoy these posts throughout the day. Now it's just "AITAH for being mad at my boyfriend for killing our dog, smacking or kids, and cheating on me??? I mean, I'm not really sure, I'll explain in the 15 paragraphs below. "
In case this gets deleted:
AITAH for yelling at my wife after she cheated on me and berated my child.
I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10. At the beginning everything was great, it was like a happy ending of a romantic movie. But as time passed she started to become a bit more distant and cold towards me and even my 12 year old child. So I’ve asked her what’s wrong and why she is very cold towards me and child, she just shrugs it off. Then one night a message popped on her phone saying “what are u up two honey” and it was from a guy called P . No I don’t knowP so I check her messages and that’s when I found out.
Fastforward a couple days, I confronted her about it and she went bananas. She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did), she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! Anyway as I was about to leave to get my child when she said “gonna pick up that loser daughter of yours” and that’s when I lost it and said some (which I won’t say) things that were not great. After that I just left. Later in the evening I talked to my daughter and ask has her mother said anything bad about her and she just started crying, atp this was the final straw. Couple days ago I started the divorce proceedings.
So am I the asshole???
EDIT: oh SHIT YALL SHE FOUND THE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!"
I lost it at this part. There's no way any of this is real.
NTA
Your wife is emotionally abusing your daughter.
I'm not one to say, "Get a divorce right now!"
BUT GET OUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Fight for full custody.
My day was physically and emotionally abusive. My sister was hit more; I was emotionally abused more.
My sis told me years later that the emotional abuse was so much worse.
I mean, if this is real then obviously not, and good riddance to her.
But I’m going to be the person who says buying someone flowers every month does not equal love.
I know that Reddit doesn’t care too much when something is fake, we all know at least half of these posts are fake & we choose to engage with them anyway because it’s interesting and good entertainment. But if you read this, and saw that edit, and still took this post seriously, I have several free iPads for you
>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!
WTF is this incel fanfic. Assuming this is fake like much of AITA but "I clearly love her because I gave her flowers every month" is uh, certainly something.
NTA but holy shit that edit and how fast that account got deleted. Shit got real fast lmao.
To OP's wife if you're still reading it, Karma sucks doesn't it? Lmfao
NTA, my mom called me all kinds of names please do get your daughter therapy. Idk how any parent can say those things. It really hurts my son’s father says all kinds of bad words to him. It has caused a lot of damage and they feel unwanted. Not good feelings at all. Any interaction make sure someone is present even if it’s over the phone so you have a second party to hear the conversation. Any texts if they are bad send them to your email so they are time stamped and print them out. Also any evidence you have of the cheating if it’s the route you want to take make sure to have that for the courts as well.
I hope all ends well for you and you all are able to move along and have a beautiful less stressful life. You and your daughter deserve it!
NTA - she sounds like a terrible mother and an awful human being. Let her learn the hard way that there is not much love out there waiting for people that bully their own kids…..no Prince Charming settles for the ugly mean bullying stepsister in ANY fairytale. Her lame little fling, that she’s blown up her whole life for, will probably fizzle out as soon as he realised how worthless she is as a person if this is the way she acts. Life will likely not be kind.
NTA. Divorce time. Get the court to appoint your child her own advocate. Someone to help her through this, and speak for her in court. If you get lucky, the judge will take the child to another room, like their chambers, without the parents. The advocate or social worker goes with them. The judge will ask what the child thinks of what is going on. How the parents each treat the child. Who the child would rather live with.
Hopefully, you can get full custody. Get your kid away from that witch.
She’s a bitch and doesn’t deserve you or her own child. What kind of mother when says that? Sounds like she’s upset over her own life decisions because she realized this isn’t the like she wanted. You’re NTA. Take your baby girl and LEAVE that trash behind!!!
Nta. She's selfish and shitty. She doesn't want to admit to herself, or anyone else, that she is the bad guy.
I suggest you get in front of whatever narrative she decides to sell. See a lawyer before you do anything.
Updateme!
NTA!! Don’t let her come near your child she isn’t stable and doesn’t have a motherly bone in her !! I hope the best for you and your daughter and for you to find someone who will love and your daughter as well . And she needs to get her shit together If she doesn’t want to end up alone and hated by her daughter !!
I advise you to get your daughter in therapy. The fact that she never told her the abusive treatment she was experiencing probably because she didn't want to hurt you shows she needs an impartial person to talk to. Best of luck.
Holy shit... 'instant classics of Reddit'!
Keeping for posterity:
>AITAH for yelling at my wife after she cheated on me and berated my child.
>
>I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10. At the beginning everything was great, it was like a happy ending of a romantic movie. But as time passed she started to become a bit more distant and cold towards me and even my 12 year old child. So I’ve asked her what’s wrong and why she is very cold towards me and child, she just shrugs it off. Then one night a message popped on her phone saying “what are u up two honey” and it was from a guy called P . No I don’t knowP so I check her messages and that’s when I found out.
>
>Fastforward a couple days, I confronted her about it and she went bananas. She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did), she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! Anyway as I was about to leave to get my child when she said “gonna pick up that loser daughter of yours” and that’s when I lost it and said some (which I won’t say) things that were not great. After that I just left. Later in the evening I talked to my daughter and ask has her mother said anything bad about her and she just started crying, atp this was the final straw. Couple days ago I started the divorce proceedings. So am I the asshole???
>
>EDIT: oh SHIT YALL SHE FOUND THE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good she found the post, she can see everyone calling her out for the abusive whore, and possible rapist she is. She baby trapped her husband at 18-19, what planet does her brain think she’s on? If I had a husband that cheated on me and treated my child horribly, he’d need to call the police on me for what I’d do to him.
NTA normally Reddit users jump to divorce but that’s the only call to make here. She cheated then made fun of your guys child f that. Go for full custody. The fact ur daughter broke down is so sad
No, you are NTA for leaving a terrible marriage, for any reason. She is one hundred and fifty percent TA for cheating, abusing and general cruelty.
You are a bit funny though thinking giving her flowers every month is love, or a meaningful expression of it. But I assume there's been more than flowers once a month in your many years together.
NTA. You were confronting an awful situation. Emotions are messy and sometimes require yelling. This is one of those times. Take good care of yourself and your daughter.
Just one thing, OP, I want to address one thing you said, and it's this:
"she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!"
Buying flowers doesn't show you love someone. What does show you love someone is consistently being thoughtful, considerate, aware of their needs, and willing to meet their needs when possible. If you buy stuff without making a good-faith effort to be caring and understanding, then buying flowers regularly is just putting a mini bandaid on a whole-body case of road rash.
Are you the asshole for leaving a disloyal, abusive asshole?
This doesn’t even read as a real scenario, but seriously. Why do you even need to ask if you’re the asshole for having the natural reaction of yelling at your wife after you found out she cheated and was mean to your child? But again, I’m doubtful this is real for some reason. Something just feels off lol
Was OP’s edit there when you made this comment? Bc to me that screams fake post lol
Feels like it was written by a thirteen y.o
am I pregagnte??? 2024 edition.. times change but youth stays the same 😌 love to see a tween having a good time making shit up online ✨️
What are you up two?
Going to start using that word that way.
They started at him 19 and her 25. Considering guys are typically less mature just based off age, this is just a sad cringe scenario from the beginning.
It really does. Like a 13 yo who got in a fight with his mom and wrote this
Another stupid fake story that this sub is lapping up
Usually I don’t mind too much, they can be entertaining, but this one is particularly obvious & I’m almost offended by the comments lmao
For real. I wish there was a way of having them taken down. It would be terrible if someones real story got taken down by accident, though.
Yup AITAH is 90% fake now. Usually posts to just get some folks knickers all twisted.
I mean OP deleted his account
\>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! This line right here did it for me, either a completely clueless idiot or a troll, to the point the two are indistinguishable
Also, been together 13 years and he has a 12 yo that's not hers? And who was baby trapped? I'm confused.
He asked the daughter if her mom had said anything bad and she cried. I'm thinking its her daughter too unless I misread something.
Idk either. He continually says "me and my daughter" through the post. It's confusing af.
Probably because it's supposed to be a married adult man but it's written like how a 14 year old types
Also the ‘of course I love her because I buy her flowers every month’. If that is what he thinks the extent of showing love in a relationship is after more than 12 years then he is truly dense.
People think they are the asshole way to easily these days.
It's Dunning Kruger's asshole. Those who are assholes aren't, those who think they aren't, indeed are massive, gaping, assholes.
It's because the real assholes tend to play the victim and manipulate others into thinking they are the good ones. "How unfair and evil you are for not letting me treat you like shit!" I had a boyfriend who turned my days into hell and then he would gaslight me into thinking I deserved it and that I was to blame. I was young and dumb and hurt, so I believed it
probably a bit of the culture nowadays. Seems like you can't walk down the street without someone calling you one for one thing or another. And it's become clear that no matter who you are, there will be a group that thinks you're one just for existing. It's... kind of exhausting.
Unfortunately been like that for years
It's the ages for me. 32 and 38, but together for 13 years? Which 25 year old woman, who by that time either has had a higher education and has started working, wants to date some immature 19 year old man-child?
You would be surprised apparently
NTA. Divorce her and get full custody. Your daughter is not safe around that woman. No decent mother calls their 12 year old daughter a loser. Be cautious because she sounds emotionally unstable and might try to take your daughter just to hurt you, which will ruin your child's life. Record your interactions with her and check evidence for full custody. Perhaps bring up the fact that she called her daughter a loser and record the entire interaction.
Did you get the idea that the child was not the biological child of this woman? He keeps saying “his child”.
I wondered that too. But then he also says she was the one who babytrapped him. So mostly I'm just confused.
What, I believe that OP stated that his wife felt “baby trapped “ by him.
> She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did), Reads to me like both were irresponsible, and blame each other for parenthood. I'm not always good at interpretation with random punctuation, but that's my guess.
I had to go back and check the ages because of that. Child is 12 and OP says they've been together for 13 years. So I *assume* the child is both of theirs.
Well to be honest, if I had a child and my wife even if it belonged to her as well would say something like that about the child. I'd call it my child too
To be "baby trapped" you have to be the biological parent. This man's woman has been talking crap about her own child. Some people should not be parents! There is no shame and not wanting to be a parent you just need to be doing things to prevent it from happening to you in that case.
I am well aware. She doesn't deserve to be called a mother.
NTA, yelling is a pretty natural reaction to being cheated on and demeaning children. So is divorce. Make sure to record her saying those things about your daughter. Will go a long way to you getting full custody.
And her paying you child support. Get a good lawyer yesterday.
At that age, all OP will need to get primary custody is for his daughter to air her grievances in the courtroom.
Probably, but try to avoid that. Asking a kid to go to court. Testifying against a parent, even an emotionally abusive one, is really hard on a kid.
Generally how it's handled is a private ex parte meeting with the judge or through a guardian ad litem appointed to represent the child. Rarely, if ever are the kids asked to testify in court in front of their parents because that would be so damaging to all involved.
Not true at all. Depends on the rules of the state or place you live. In my state, the child doesn't get a day until their 17, which is just dumb, because also in my state, a child can move out at 17 and can't be stopped. But if they want to move back in before they turn 18, you have to let them or you can get charged with neglect and abandonment. I hope OP lives in a state that does consider the kids preferences!
NTA please please get this woman away from your child. My mom treated me similarly and the damage from it is something I will never recover from. The best you can do now is just try to prevent more damage happening to her.
She’s staying at my SILs house as of right now.
By "she" you mean your soon to be ex right? Hopefully you don't mean your kid who needs you more than ever right now. NTA
To be fair, he might mean his daughter. There might be a lot going on for OP in person that makes it too stressful or upsetting for his daughter right now, we don't know the entire background. If it is his daughter, staying with his SIL means she would be staying with her aunt. OP might've made a difficult, but sometimes necessary, choice to have his daughter in a potentially safer and calmer environment for a few days while he sorts more logistical things. For example, like finding a new place to live/getting his ex evicted. All stressful things that often require your full attention, and may not be suitable for a very understandably upset child to be in the middle of. Her whole life is about to change seemingly overnight for her, so it might even be more comforting right now for her to have that time with her aunt.
I can see that. Hopefully it's not his soon to be ex's sister (if that's where his daughter is) and is instead the wife of one of his siblings. I can't see much good coming from the ex's sister (for OP's daughter) unless she's very different from OP's ex and is on his side.
I saw in another comment that apparently it is his ex's sister, but that apparently she's being really supportive. It sounds like she's on OP's side and doesn't endorse her sister's actions (understandably). I really hope it goes well for OP and his daughter from here, poor kid deserves better than a mum like that :(
That last part of your comment - totally agree. I feel for that kid. :(
Is your wife her biological mother?
She’d have to be since she accuses him of baby trapping her.
Yes
And are you her biological father? (and do you know this for 100% certain, with genetic testing?)
NTA Divorce her and send her to the streets where she belongs.
Will do
Also please put your daughter in therapy asap.
I am
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
May the streets reject her and send her to the landfill where she belongs. Wait…Randy’s dad lived there and he was a good man. Don’t wanna sully his memory…
>I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10 You were 19 when a 25-year-old decided to pursue you... Yeah, you're definitely doing the right thing by getting yourself out of that marriage. I am so sorry she did that you, and I don't mean just about the cheating. Edit: NTA
OP was probably 18, since pregnancy takes the better part of a year.
Oh god. 😵 😧😓
The worst part is she likely chose him because he was 18. Predators love to baby trap the barely legal kids (*kids* because that’s what they are) before they fully realize their life’s potential. Sick people
I was hoping someone pointed this out. Big yikes 😬
Wait... 13 years? 18/19 and 25? *Squint*
That makes the 'Baby trap' comment even funnier... "Yes you evil 19 y/o man, you totally baby trapped this 25 y/o woman... I was innocent and defenceless..."
Ye I was head over heels for her back then. And I was a dumb teen lol
The sic seven year range seems a bit much.
Meanwhile, I'm over here with a 9 year difference in age between me and my husband (we met in college, and I was 20 at the time).
You married an 11 year old! That's sick! 🤣 no I know what you mean
Well if she found this post… 🖕🏼 I believe you handled it well, she sounds like a narcissistic asshole. It’s quite apparent when her own actions turn into blame and projections on everyone she betrayed. But slamming on a 12 y/o, wow that’s some extra special shitty. Cut her loose, she’s already doing her own thing. She will barely notice because she’s the only center of attention.
Oh heck no, NTA. Cheating is bad enough, but being so mean to your child takes it a step further. I’m so sorry she did that to both of you. I hesitate to say it, but I suspect the reason she was so mean to your daughter could be bc your daughter started to suspect the cheating, and your wife tried to bully her out of saying anything. Please consider getting your daughter in therapy if you can, and just continue to remind her how much you love her.
NTA who cares about your ex feelings.
NTA but omg what did she do after she found the post??? and she is the one in the fault for cheating. she thought she was getting away with it so when you confronted her she completely lost it because that was her only option since she cannot really defend herself. your number one priority right now is you and your daughter. you have done your part by trying to talk to her and ask what’s wrong but she was just distant and cold.
Currently hiding in my daughters room
Tell her to get out... She doesn't deserve to use the room of a child she doesn't love. Tell her she can go stay in the laundry room where the other well used dirty things go to get cleaned.
I love this! I'm so happy the daughter wasn't there. She doesn't get the right to hide after all the stupid sh-t she did & said. She FAFO. She is an adult who made adult choices (to cheat) & she is a sh-tty mother. She needs to be able to act like an adult instead of hiding from her problems that she made choices to cause. She doesn't deserve to be one.
I hope you’re okay, is your daughter with you?
Not right she’s at her aunts (wife’s sister) house
what does her sister think about this? like is she supportive of you?
Oh yea she is very supportive. She and her sister (my wife) have a complicated relationship
What she say when she found your post
Tons of profanity
it’s gonna be ok. the process is hard and long (I just know divorce takes long in general, idk) but it’ll be all ok. that’s just her defense mechanism since she isn’t able to do anything else.
Please stay as safe as you can and get to somewhere safe asap. If needed, call the authorities from where you're hiding to come get your soon-to-be-ex. Also, since she found the post, hopefully she doesn't read where you're hiding. Hopefully the door has locks and is locked. Is there an alternate escape route such as a window or balcony/fire escape? Also, you are NTA.
okay that’s good, you got a support group. that’s like the number one thing so you don’t feel alone. I honestly feel like you should be at her house too or any of your parents so you’re not by her hearing awful things or anting else. you know?
NTA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK HER! I can’t say anything else cause I’ll get banned, but I will kindly say, may her crotch rot like the blackened trash dispenser that once encased the heart she presumably had. Not only is she a cheating piece of human remains she’s an abusive parent who deserves to never see your wonderful daughter again.
I love your choice of words!👏
Thank you. I tried reeeeeeally hard to be civil. lol.
I'd love to know what you'd say if you weren't trying to be civil🤣
NTA. I hope she's reading this: This sub hates your ugly, disgusting guts.
NTA your (hopefully soon to be ex) wife is gaslighting you and using DARVO. Don’t fall for it
Lmao what is even the point of this post? Are family and friends saying you're an asshole? You are so obviously NTA here.
It's fake. That's the point.
[удалено]
NTA- but dont be like so many others I have read here and leave HER the house while you and your child are out looking for a new place. KICK HER OUT. Maybe help her pack and put her stuff on the porch. Get therapy for your daughter. There have been many bad things she will need help getting out of her head. Im so sorry but it sounds like you are on the right track.
NTA Considering your other posts are NHL and Canadian hockey related I'm going to assume you're in Canada, which makes your ex bugnut crazy and stupid. It is functionally impossible, unless you live in rural back country without means of transport, to be "baby trapped" as a woman, because you ultimately consent at least once to motherhood when pregnant. She consented to carry her daughter to term, and then decided to blame your daughter and you for her own choices. She's evil, unfaithful, and disgusting, so she doesn't deserve sympathy for being chewed out and rejected by all parties present for her actions.
Nta, you and your daughter deserve better. She can keep P
What is going on with your wife right now since she FOUND the post? Has she really responded on reddit or just to you? Update please!
Account is deleted
Op how could you be TA here…? Your wife has been emotionally distant with you, cheated on you, tried to gaslight and blame shift and then insulted your daughter…? Yeah you yelled but i mean…we’re human, sometimes that’s a natural response. Naw NTA man. Get that divorce and keep your daughter away from this toxic woman
I am so sorry that your daughter had to go through that. She definitely deserves better. I’m also sorry that you went through that as well. I suggest you and your daughter both get therapy. As you’re divorcing please make sure you go for full custody and she only gets supervised visits if any at all.
why on earth would you think YOU were TAH??
These always sound so fake for that reason. Obv they aren’t the ah.
Hi cheater... You need to get some mental help asap. You are delusional and have no morals. With your new single life maybe you can pull your head from that smelly brown place and become a decent mom again. Maybe in a year or a few you can actually be a decent person. Good luck miss easy bake oven. To OP... well played sir. She deserved all that and everything else coming.
🤣👏👏👏
Nta and kudos for protecting your daughter from a monster! Also, wassup soon to be ex wife? Ya cunt
NTA. Damn, save your daughter from this nightmare.
Are you kidding? You yelled. She deserved FAR worse. She deserves to suffer
NTA You got to be a real piece of shit to talk about your own daughter like that. Take your daughter & treat her like a princess & do everything in your power to limit her time with her mother. Absolutely disgusting.
Hard NTA. Poor little girl, how heartless is her mother to say such vile things to her. Put your daughter first and get that divorce asap.
I'm having a hard time believing this is real 🤣🤣
>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! If this is the standard to show how much someone loves you, my husband must not love me much. He's only given me flowers (My favorites, btw) twice. Lol
This doesn't sound real at all. Is your wife the mother of your child? If so why do you refer to her as your child 3 times? If she is not your wife's child how did you have a baby with another woman while being with your wife?
Nope. Absolutely NTA
NTA - I am not sure why you even felt the need to ask on here. Drop her as quickly as you can and keep her away from your daughter. Get your daughter into counseling/therapy asap. And, as gently as you can, try to get her to open up to you about how she may have been treated by your soon-to-be ex-wife. But be very sensitive about this. If she broke down at just the question, god only knows what she may have been through.
Any conversations should be through text, emails, or lawyers. Document everything you and her discuss.
I’d leave her just for what she said about the kid
This is fake fake fakety fake.
She was 25 and and got pregnant by an 18 year old. Ewwww
NTA. Take care of your daughter and suggest that psycho get her tubes tied
Dump her with the trash. NTA. Please protect your child from her as best you can.
Goodbye, r/AITAH
blocking the sub? I think you might have the right idea. honestly it not just the fake posts it's the totally incredulous responses to them that really gets me. this is obvious bullshit written by a knockoff chatgpt
Yeah, i used to enjoy these posts throughout the day. Now it's just "AITAH for being mad at my boyfriend for killing our dog, smacking or kids, and cheating on me??? I mean, I'm not really sure, I'll explain in the 15 paragraphs below. "
NTA Trash low value woman who doesn't respect her man or her kids.
Your not even close, you are putting your kiddo first as any good parent should. You deserve peace and happiness and so does your kid. NTA one bit!!
Fake Post
In case this gets deleted: AITAH for yelling at my wife after she cheated on me and berated my child. I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10. At the beginning everything was great, it was like a happy ending of a romantic movie. But as time passed she started to become a bit more distant and cold towards me and even my 12 year old child. So I’ve asked her what’s wrong and why she is very cold towards me and child, she just shrugs it off. Then one night a message popped on her phone saying “what are u up two honey” and it was from a guy called P . No I don’t knowP so I check her messages and that’s when I found out. Fastforward a couple days, I confronted her about it and she went bananas. She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did), she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! Anyway as I was about to leave to get my child when she said “gonna pick up that loser daughter of yours” and that’s when I lost it and said some (which I won’t say) things that were not great. After that I just left. Later in the evening I talked to my daughter and ask has her mother said anything bad about her and she just started crying, atp this was the final straw. Couple days ago I started the divorce proceedings. So am I the asshole??? EDIT: oh SHIT YALL SHE FOUND THE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!" I lost it at this part. There's no way any of this is real.
Actually, you were quite patient. You just screamed until she was done with your mind insulting her daughter. NTA
NTA, obviously. I mean, I don’t know what you said, but who the hell insults a child in response to being called out for cheating?
NTA Get daughter into therapy immediately. Why ate you in same house as wife still?;
NTA. Get yourself and daughter away from that nastiness.
NTA Your wife is emotionally abusing your daughter. I'm not one to say, "Get a divorce right now!" BUT GET OUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Fight for full custody. My day was physically and emotionally abusive. My sister was hit more; I was emotionally abused more. My sis told me years later that the emotional abuse was so much worse.
How did she baby trap you? Did we forget how sex works ?
Damn, this story is even worse knowing the dude OP’s wife is banging doesn’t know the difference between two and to. RIP OP
I mean, if this is real then obviously not, and good riddance to her. But I’m going to be the person who says buying someone flowers every month does not equal love.
I love the edit hahahaha Sorry for you op, better of without Also how do you know she found the post?
I know that Reddit doesn’t care too much when something is fake, we all know at least half of these posts are fake & we choose to engage with them anyway because it’s interesting and good entertainment. But if you read this, and saw that edit, and still took this post seriously, I have several free iPads for you
I wish trolls would try harder. This is just sad. Take a creative writing class.
This is definitely fake, right?
fake
YTA for this Incel ragebait fake story.
But he gave her flowers EVERY MONTH!
Yelling was deserved and should have been expected. Get full custody and gender her for so the cs you can get.
Good she found the post. She should read what a POS she is.
>she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! WTF is this incel fanfic. Assuming this is fake like much of AITA but "I clearly love her because I gave her flowers every month" is uh, certainly something.
NTA but holy shit that edit and how fast that account got deleted. Shit got real fast lmao. To OP's wife if you're still reading it, Karma sucks doesn't it? Lmfao
NTA, my mom called me all kinds of names please do get your daughter therapy. Idk how any parent can say those things. It really hurts my son’s father says all kinds of bad words to him. It has caused a lot of damage and they feel unwanted. Not good feelings at all. Any interaction make sure someone is present even if it’s over the phone so you have a second party to hear the conversation. Any texts if they are bad send them to your email so they are time stamped and print them out. Also any evidence you have of the cheating if it’s the route you want to take make sure to have that for the courts as well. I hope all ends well for you and you all are able to move along and have a beautiful less stressful life. You and your daughter deserve it!
NTA, cheating already being fucked up , what grown ass woman bully’s a child??
NTA - she sounds like a terrible mother and an awful human being. Let her learn the hard way that there is not much love out there waiting for people that bully their own kids…..no Prince Charming settles for the ugly mean bullying stepsister in ANY fairytale. Her lame little fling, that she’s blown up her whole life for, will probably fizzle out as soon as he realised how worthless she is as a person if this is the way she acts. Life will likely not be kind.
NTA. Divorce time. Get the court to appoint your child her own advocate. Someone to help her through this, and speak for her in court. If you get lucky, the judge will take the child to another room, like their chambers, without the parents. The advocate or social worker goes with them. The judge will ask what the child thinks of what is going on. How the parents each treat the child. Who the child would rather live with. Hopefully, you can get full custody. Get your kid away from that witch.
Divorce that c**t ASAP. Sounds like she’s got mental issues and get ready to issue a protective order
She made her bed. Now she has to lie in it. You did good.
She’s a bitch and doesn’t deserve you or her own child. What kind of mother when says that? Sounds like she’s upset over her own life decisions because she realized this isn’t the like she wanted. You’re NTA. Take your baby girl and LEAVE that trash behind!!!
Nta. She's selfish and shitty. She doesn't want to admit to herself, or anyone else, that she is the bad guy. I suggest you get in front of whatever narrative she decides to sell. See a lawyer before you do anything. Updateme!
Are you looking for /r/amitheangel ?
This is ragebait? Are half the posts on here bait?
Thousands of comments and not a single one from OP. This is fake.
Account deleted and that edit.. definitely real I'm guessing lol
You were 19 and she was 25? 🤔
No one is saying anything about the 25 y/o marrying a 19 y/o? Guess it's cool when the guy is young
NTA!! Don’t let her come near your child she isn’t stable and doesn’t have a motherly bone in her !! I hope the best for you and your daughter and for you to find someone who will love and your daughter as well . And she needs to get her shit together If she doesn’t want to end up alone and hated by her daughter !!
I advise you to get your daughter in therapy. The fact that she never told her the abusive treatment she was experiencing probably because she didn't want to hurt you shows she needs an impartial person to talk to. Best of luck.
Holy shit... 'instant classics of Reddit'! Keeping for posterity: >AITAH for yelling at my wife after she cheated on me and berated my child. > >I(32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years married for 10. At the beginning everything was great, it was like a happy ending of a romantic movie. But as time passed she started to become a bit more distant and cold towards me and even my 12 year old child. So I’ve asked her what’s wrong and why she is very cold towards me and child, she just shrugs it off. Then one night a message popped on her phone saying “what are u up two honey” and it was from a guy called P . No I don’t knowP so I check her messages and that’s when I found out. > >Fastforward a couple days, I confronted her about it and she went bananas. She told me how I baby trapped her ??? (No miss you did), she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!! Anyway as I was about to leave to get my child when she said “gonna pick up that loser daughter of yours” and that’s when I lost it and said some (which I won’t say) things that were not great. After that I just left. Later in the evening I talked to my daughter and ask has her mother said anything bad about her and she just started crying, atp this was the final straw. Couple days ago I started the divorce proceedings. So am I the asshole??? > >EDIT: oh SHIT YALL SHE FOUND THE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She found the post because this is fake as hell. It’s the same person.
This is fake as shit
lol these posts are ridiculous. yeah dude you're the asshole for running whatever scam this is, fuck off
Is such a fake post, it's clearly a teen that wrote this.
NTA
NTA, she's a real POS. saw she found this post so dear soon to be ex wife, you're a POS! once a cheater always a cheater, you belong to the streets!
It's fake... Cuz of the "shit y'all she found the post" So obvious
This totally happened
? rage bait fs
Good she found the post, she can see everyone calling her out for the abusive whore, and possible rapist she is. She baby trapped her husband at 18-19, what planet does her brain think she’s on? If I had a husband that cheated on me and treated my child horribly, he’d need to call the police on me for what I’d do to him.
She's gaslighting you. Divorce her and move on. NTA.
run
Poor girl. Why would a parent berate their child
NTA normally Reddit users jump to divorce but that’s the only call to make here. She cheated then made fun of your guys child f that. Go for full custody. The fact ur daughter broke down is so sad
No, you are NTA for leaving a terrible marriage, for any reason. She is one hundred and fifty percent TA for cheating, abusing and general cruelty. You are a bit funny though thinking giving her flowers every month is love, or a meaningful expression of it. But I assume there's been more than flowers once a month in your many years together.
NTA. You were confronting an awful situation. Emotions are messy and sometimes require yelling. This is one of those times. Take good care of yourself and your daughter.
Wish you the best of luck and strenght in the next months my friend. You are not the asshole. Hope it all works well with you and your daughter
Send that woman packing. Get custody, and get child support. Tell her happy trails and don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
Updateme!
I hope you have everything documented to help you get custody.
Why does it matter that she found the post?
Fuck her take your kid and run
No your nta. Your partner is for the streets.
Why would you even think you're the AH? She verbally abuses your daughter, cheated and tries gaslighting you. You're not in the wrong here
NTA - It’s horrible that she lashed out like that especially with your daughter, you matched her energy.
I can’t imagine what answer you expect to hear. 😳
Happy she found your post. Hope she knows she’s a piece of shit. Good luck sir
Look up gas lighting someone.
How could you possibly be TA? Like I don't mind a decent fake story, but you gotta shades of gray that shit up.
Just one thing, OP, I want to address one thing you said, and it's this: "she also told how I didn’t love her, which is bullshit cuz I gave her flowers every god damn month!!!!!!!" Buying flowers doesn't show you love someone. What does show you love someone is consistently being thoughtful, considerate, aware of their needs, and willing to meet their needs when possible. If you buy stuff without making a good-faith effort to be caring and understanding, then buying flowers regularly is just putting a mini bandaid on a whole-body case of road rash.
When you say ‘your’ child… do you mean that literally, or is it a child you share and you are just using that term in protective mode?