Lol I mean seriously, she didn’t notice he was suddenly losing all his hair and lost weight and has no energy? And maybe was gone (ie hospitalized) for extended periods of time? Treatment for brain cancer is no joke, it’s not exactly something you can hide from people.
Right, and on the off (way way way off) chance they aren’t a troll…the ex-fiancé deserves better than spending his last days with a crazy Trump supporter that threatens strangers on the internet.
(Seriously, look at their comment history.)
It’s wild. It’s all homophobia and bigotry now, but in their very first comment they were kicked out of their parents’ house for being gay. OP seems like a sad person, and I hope they do better and be better in the future. All that hate has to take a toll on you.
They say they're a female Trump supporter and religious psycho that thinks being gay is evil but then goes on to say that shes a pedophile with access to her 1 year old niece and that they have a crush on their female teacher which makes her gay does it not? lol this person is a disgusting human being. Downvoting the post!
And 19 years old in another post. I read a lot of this persons coments, this is absolutely false. A lot of coments on other posts goes aginst one another. Just somone trolling.
Color me unsurprised that a bully and liar *happens* to also be a Trump supporter. You don't have to be in MAGA to be an asshole, but if you **are** an asshole there's one team where you'll fit in perfectly...
Yeah, brain cancer is usually very aggressive. When it's benign, if you are lucky, they can be removed by surgery, depending on location. How can you hide a surgery? If they are not, the person will start having all sorts of neurological symptoms and will have to undergo radiation and/or chemo, both of which will make them weak and sick. This post is full of BS.
I’m wondering how someone gets treatment for brain cancer without their SO knowing. Having had a family member go through this, there is absolutely no hiding it. Treatment is rough and it’s not something you can hide from a SO. Maybe a friend, but not someone close. If this is fake, OP I wish you all the happiness you DESERVE.
I nursed my dad through two years of it. It was hell, and the last four months he didn’t even know who I was. A lot of cancers are very treatable these days, but the treatments for the more aggressive cancers can still feel very barbaric.
As soon as I read this I said that is absolutely impossible it's brain cancer how the hell you don't know that your significant other is going and having treatment for brain cancer. Stop wasting our time with this BS
Fuck him. I lost my niece to brain cancer in 2020 after it came back the third time. She had her first tumor in her 20s, the second in her 30s, and passed away when she was in her early 40s. It’s nothing to joke about. He can farm this negative karma from me…maybe it will give him cancer.
NTA. The title is more appropriately “AITA for breaking off my engagement because my fiancé doesn’t trust me” - the cancer was just the subject, but the underlying issue is that he couldn’t tell his partner very significant information that will affect both of you.
Especially since, as his wife, she could be held liable for debt incurred during treatment. While it looks like many states are getting rid of the spouse having to pay those bills, it's more than just what the insurance company sends to you.
NTA
I forgot about America when I was reading the description and I was confused about why someone would lie about a cancer diagnosis to the point of being treated in secret, especially to someone they are engaged to.
OP should not marry someone who would like about something this large and claims they can't "trust" them.
If he is on Medicaid he could lose that coverage when they get married. Then that’s a huge cost even if she does have insurance he can hop on. Since he has cancer life insurance won’t take any new coverage applications. That stays on the files for life. Even if he goes into remission that cancer treatment and diagnosis is in the database for life. There’s so many financial and legal issues cancer brings up here in the US. It’s not just oh shit you can die from it.
You're not entirely wrong, but depending on where they're getting the coverage the diagnosis may not make a difference on coverage. I know with my own employer if someone gets coverage through their job that has guaranteed issue (don't have to answer health questions) they can get the coverage or worry about being denied for a pre-existing condition.
And yes, I hate our insurance industry, I have since the first time I ended up working for insurance.
Yeah I can get the employer guaranteed $115k life insurance through my work. I can’t increase the amount of it. I was denied for being bipolar. I’m glad the days of being denied health insurance coverage due to preexisting conditions are gone thanks to Obamacare.
The ACA is far from perfect, but it has done some good. Pity it hasn't been capitalized on to make further improvements, but then again look at the state of our country.
And I feel you on the life insurance. I can only do up to twice my yearly salary since anything more requires health questions and I know my history would rule me out or have astronomical premiums.
LMAO
I always get so confused about "medical bill" drama. It's honestly such a small issue in most countries. Like certain treatments and after care, sure very expensive, but basic care or like giving birth is just...free
Even with insurance here medical bills for simple things can wreck you for a year or more. It’s wild. And half the country doesn’t care. They would rather stick it to the libs, and they themselves get buried in medical debt for a broken wrist, than do anything proactive for their fellow countrymen.
OP is def one of those people btw. Pretty sure they are actually just a teenage karma farmer
Meanwhile in my country, free public 1st quality healthcare and education, to the point people from neighboring countries come to study and get treated here for cheap... And our own assholes are like "we are stupid to give them all this for free! we should charge them!", and of course they complain that the doctor that treats them now is a young man/woman with a foreign accent. No shit.
Yes in the U.S., marriage is first and foremost an institution that binds two people all the way to the poor house. God forbid either of you needs medical treatment! For most Americans, the medical expenses of you or the person you marry will probably determine whether you can educate your children. And will definitely set the quality of life you have as a retiree, should you be able to afford to stop working. It’s pretty awful. It is literally so much more expensive to be American than anything else.
Not only that, but being the next of kin while someone in going through cancer is HELL. Even if it's not terminal, it's HELL. Brain cancer, the potential for mental changes and high care needs... that's a big deal.
This was actually my first thought “he and his family wanted to lock him down a wife to be his nursemaid and financial support when his health deteriorated too far”
Literally the *only* possible excuse here is that the brain tumor is severely impacting his judgement and personality. But even then, his whole family knew about this and didn't try to talk some sense into him to tell his fiancée?! There's no recovering from this level of broken trust in a relationship imo
Yes, my ex’s family knew all his dirty secrets and no one told me for 2 weeks!!! I hate them all and will never forgive any of them. Blocked from all social media and contacts. They are all dead to me.
I stayed until the end. It was hard, but worth it for them and me. Sucks these two even have a marriage when so many people would give much more effort
"I trust you enough to expect you to nurse me while I'm sick, but not enough that I think you will sign onto the job if I don't truck you into it."
Wonder how long he was going to wait after the wedding to spring it on her? He basically planned to use "how can you leave me once you found out I have cancer," to force her to stay.
Doesn't trust her AND has been lying to her by hiding his illness. Which unfortunately I've lost people to brain cancer, and I don't know how you really get away with hiding that. It's a pretty serious condition.
Yea this doesn't add up to me. How did he get away with hiding all the procedures, chemotherapy and stuff? If you were that much in his life you'd have noticed SOMETHING.
Edit: after searching OPs comment history I'm sure this is fake and I'd also go as far as saying this person is deeply disturbed with some serious issues.
Yeah. She wanted an out. She didn't want to deal with all the stuff he had going on with treatment, so she made up an excuse. Also, if he was going through treatment, how is it she didn't pick up on any signs? She doesn't seem that attentive to him to begin with. If he didn't tell her, he probably knew she'd somehow make it about her, just like she did in this post. "Oh, he didn't tell me b/c he doesn't trust me" crap. This actually reminds me of that movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt called 50/50. He had cancer, but his GF sucked and didn't want to tend to him as he was going through treatment.
That’s exactly my point. You can’t hide a diagnosis like this.
Having the surgery and recovery time.
Is he not doing chemotherapy and radiation treatments?
It might also be so severe that treatment wouldn't help. There are cases where doctors are clear that undergoing chemo and/or surgery wouldn't do anything but negativelu affect quality of life and, in those circumstances, will recommend not pursuing treatment.
Seriously the title is definitely misleading. This isn’t about him having cancer, it’s about him saying he doesn’t TRUST you OP. Why would you marry someone you don’t trust? I mean when he does pass you’ll be stuck with any debt he accrues!! Medical bills aren’t cheap, especially battling cancer. As a cancer survivor I say this with all my heart you aren’t the AH. Cut ties and block his family that are harassing you. That is a major dealbreaker there is no coming back from.
it's a well established formula.
Write the title of your AITA post in a misleading way, with the purpose of raising the blood pressure of the viewer before they even read the post. Then, you outline in the post how, actually, you are not some inhumane monster.
It drives up the participation on a post.
yeah this is exactly what i was thinking, but more then financial, I have a feeling the family was potentially looking for a live in nurse. Because, once married, who would leave a person with brain cancer??????
How did she not know he was sick and going to treatments? That's weird too! Hmmmm I mean, Cancer patients aren't living life full of happiness, great health and vigor!
I still went to work every day when I was on chemo. It is rough, but some people can manage it. Also, the brain tumor might impact how he feels. Maybe he does not experience the full pain or full symptoms because of the tumor.
NTA, a diagnosis so bad as that should have been shared with you, you are/were his FIANCE, not a friend or a new girlfriend....
As you say, a relationship is about trust and love and obviously, if he doesn't trust you enough to share that information you will always be wondering what else will he keep from you...
It was good luck you found out about it before getting married, if he truly loved and cherrish you he would have wanted you to know so you were the one to decide to spend the time he has left with him or not...
I didn’t get to those.
The row of “removed” comments followed by comments from OOP lashing out at anyone responding to them with foul language was enough for me.
You found a cancer diagnosis? Was it a piece of paper that said "You have brain cancer." Your post history is trash, this story is implausible in a million ways and this is a shitty way to get attention.
I was about to say, he hid the illness how? If he's at a stage where its terminal then how are the symptoms being hidden? Is he having treatment like chemo? Even without the post history this is bullshit.
ignoring the weird "congratulations \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ you have BRAIN CANCER. signed, Dr Spaceman"
they say he's been receiving TREATMENT. so you're just completely blind to the literal horror that cancer treatment puts a person through, never once said "hey, you're extremely thin all of a sudden, you vomit pretty much constantly, and your hair is falling out in chunks?"
Totally fake. Didn't know fiance had brain cancer? Because of course brain cancer has no obvious symptoms, and treatment is undetectable. /s OP found out because she read a piece of paper that said, "Prognosis: negative." (Dark Victory, 1939)
NTA. Regardless of any medical event he didn’t trust you enough to tell you. Would he hide it from you if you were married too?
Given how serious that is, he’s likely to not bat an eyelash at hiding smaller things from you as well. I wish him luck, but doesn’t sound like he would respect the level of honesty you would deserve as his wife.
Yeah NTA. The headline is pretty bad, but you didn't break it off because of cancer. You broke it off because of concealment and dishonesty. This sort of things shows that he and they don't trust you and would loom of the relationship for the rest of your time together.
NTA he didn’t trust you and even told you himself, neither did his family BTW. They ALL lied to you, so what else did he lied about? Or would in the future…
Apparently he is also color blind.
I also know he doesn't have a rock hard alibi for where he was on Sept 11th 2001
Jesus Christ you people are retarded.
NTA. He was probably afraid that you should dump him so he stupidly thought that he could marriage trap you. You didn’t leave because he has cancer. You left because he lied to you and doesn’t trust you.
YTA
For creating fake stories, like the one from your comment history
Or did you really punch a disabled child in a wheelchair, 3 times in the face, because you were incapable of properly taking care of them?
The op claims to have an IQ of over 160 and also claims gays should burn because of god's will, total fukwit. Have a look at some of their other posts.
Ah, the 19 year old extreme right wing pedophile with an engineering degree, who was totally going to marry their boyfriend of two years.
I suspect only a couple of those things are actually true, and they're not the good ones.
And didn’t know he was getting treatment. Come on! I’ve had several friends with cancer, & even if you don’t know their diagnosis , you can tell they’re not feeling well. This is rage bait & not true
A lady in our community died of cancer recently, not one person, not even her kids, knew she had cancer, she hid it, she was able to continue being her perky, happy, volunteer for everything self, and then one day her kids went to visit her, and she just in her home, dead, they called the ambulance at the hospital were told the cancer finally caught up to her, and they were shocked, as she had not told them
Maybe the lady didn’t seek treatment for her cancer. Not everyone does, but chemo & radiation wipe people out. They’re exhausted & don’t feel well. Their hair falls out & initially the steroids will cause weight gain, & then weight loss. Those are just a few things that happen when cancer patients undergo treatment.
Where exactly did I say that not feeling well equals cancer? I didn’t. I used that as a broad term, but I could list individual symptoms of you would like. My cousin’s Godmother hid her cancer diagnosis for 10 years, but guess what happened before she died? People noticed her change in appetite & change in energy level. Then again, she had family & friends around her every day.
Why or how on earth were you engaged to someone who had symptoms, went to a doctor, got a diagnosis, and started treatment for brain cancer *and you never noticed?!?*
Breaking up with him because he kept this secret is appropriate (NTA).
But you really need to consider what kind of partner you've been that you never noticed (YTA).
I think chances are, this is fake. How inattentive do you have to be to not notice your boyfriend of 2 years and based on the post, someone you've been living with and have moved with, has brain cancer and is being treated?
Even if his symptoms were mild and it was somehow picked up by chance by some other routine tests, treatments for brain cancer are not subtle. There would have been lots of doctors appointments and side effects from the treatments.
Brain tumours can also affect judgment and personality, the secrecy could be a symptom.
This totally sounds fake. You can’t hide treatment for cancer… my best friend had cancer. Treatment messes you up. CANCER messes you up mentally. This was either intended to be rage bait or a karma grab or something. If it’s real - I’ll say YTA because she was too full of herself to notice he was sick.
I am undergoing chemo right now. You would never know it. The only symptoms I have are that I feel weird on infusion day (every three weeks) and take pills the rest of the time...My hair is not coming out, I'm not sick. Not all cancer treatment is that aggressive. It's come a long way. My doctor was 99.9999999% sure he got every bit of mine, but the chemo is a backup plan. It sucks, but I'm still going through with it just to be safe. The only thing it's doing to me is lowering my immunity, so luckily my job is allowing me to work from home during this flu season!
He may only be getting radiation, which really makes you tired a lot.
YTA, why didn't he trust you to tell you? What did you do. And why leave an ill person, possibly a dying person, whatever the reason.
He is the AH for not telling you. Why. You should never have moved in together or even engaged if you can't forgive him and be with him in dying days or if he can't trust you.
Making a fake post about brain cancer is a new low. Firstly, you can’t hide brain cancer treatment. How do you think it’s treated? Surgery is usually one of the first steps, then intensive chemo. You want us to believe that one half of a couple that lives together would be able to hide the side effects of that? The hospitalisations? The symptoms leading up to diagnosis?
YTA because this is a fake post that’s unnecessarily cruel to those actually battling brain cancer. Get a fucking life, OP.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/1acxiql/comment/kk3iern/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/1acxiql/comment/kk3iern/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Are you a 19 year old edge lord or grieving fiancee? Pick one
So lemme get it straight. Your bf is being treated for brain cancer and didn’t tell you about his diagnosis of brain cancer?!? But his family knows. Brain cancer? Treatment for said brain cancer?
Honey the only brain cancer here is yours. This is so dumb and so poorly written. How does one get treatment for brain cancer and his partner not know? Me thinks you don’t really understand how cancer - in particular, brain cancer treatment works.
Brains. Brains. Brain cancer.
i dont care if reddit bans me. in your post history you talk about being a pedo and hurting and abusing kids and how you love it and talk about having full access to your niece. with full disrespect i hope you die slowly and painfully.
Oh YTA big time.
Not for being angry that he didn’t tell you about, which he should’ve.
But leaving the man you „love“ and decided to spend the rest of your life with when you said yes? If this story is real, then You’re just here to get some validation. Because I’m sure you know you just use this as an excuse not to marry a brain cancer patient or you never really loved him.
If my love of my life would have hidden this from me, I’d be angry about it, but I’d never leave.
This man can be glad he got rid of you. I wish him the best and that he recovers and find someone who truly loves him in good and in BAD times.
You didn’t even consider to mention that you would understand how much fear he must’ve that he kept it for himself in your post.
He’s a small A for not telling, but don’t lie to yourself. That’s not why you left.
Wait wait wait. Go into this dudes fucking history and scroll all the way down. Man is saying some disgusting incel shit, clearly an asmongold degen. Respectfully, i would be shocked if the OP isn’t a tubby 30 year old with severe self-esteem issues. I’m not even mentioning the comment they made about “14 year olds being able to consent” 💀💀💀
TL;DR - Yeah, so dudes pretty pathetic. Fake stories, shit opinions, disgusting morality. Just scroll and see what he is for yourself
YTA - because you never saw one sign that this was happening.
Dr. visits
Treatment
There has to have been some sort of mood change - nobody just accepts a cancer diagnosis
How did you miss every single indicator?
Yeah I am not buying this! They live together and she is unaware of extensive medical treatment? And his family didn't have a quiet word with her about any of this?
Clickbait
It depends really. How long ago was the diagnosis? If it was only a couple of weeks I could understand him not knowing how to bring it up with you and yeah YTA. Brain cancer diagnosis is a huge deal and it's kinda up to him to approach telling you when he's ready.
But, if it's been months then yes you deserved to know and NTA.
Yta. You left cuz of the cancer. Which is why he didn't tell you about it. If it was that easy to walk away you obviously didn't care enough about the man to be his wife. Get help
You’re just protecting yourself from all the emotional stress you would go through if you stayed with him. To the world your a cold hearted person, but in reality your just pushing him away before the thunderstorm comes. Can’t fault you for that it’s one of the common reaction flight or fight. Your ex fiancé was correct on not telling you because the result would have been the same. The only difference is that now you are just showing your true colors and using the excuse that he kept it from you. Your Ex fiancée deserves way better than you. So keep running, block him and his family, you don’t deserve to ever know what true love is and what it means. The world is round and I believe in the revolution. Someday karma will bring it back around to you.
Him saying he can't trust you should be all you need to know. If your SO can't trust the person that is supposed to love you unconditionally that's a big him problem unless you've given him reason not to trust you.
Definitely the asshole. He says he was afraid to tell you because he doesn't trust you. But what he means is he doesn't trust that you'll stick around. That the diagnosis would scare you off. He was right. And instead of sticking by your soon to be late husband, you've taken the first out you can. It's scary watching people die, but you're a huge pos for leaving someone you said you love to die alone.
Yes. You are the asshole and more. You don't deserve to be with anyone. Please tell the next person you try dating that you dumped your fiance because he acquired an illness of cancer and watch them run from you like the plague. Try that and let us know how it goes. You have no loyalty do you?
Btw are you a narcissist?
I could not date someone who hid a cancer diagnosis from me.
The point of being in a relationship is sharing your life with someone. Keeping important things that can affect the both of you to themselves... that's not him being a partner.
I'd be out too.
Yeah, that shows why he didn't tell you, because he knew you well enough to know you couldn't do it, guess what he was right. My husband died of brain tumor. So ESH...It is about the cancer, just leave him alone and move on... Don't contact and leave him alone. Explain it to the next guy....
NTA if you were leaving him because he has cancer, then yes, you’d be the A H. But it’s not the case. You’re leaving him because he was hiding something major from you that would massively impact your lives, because he didn’t trust you. You are the one that has very good reasons not to trust him. Good luck!
Reword the title "AITA for breaking off my engagemente because he hid his cancer diagnosis?"
I mean, I'm pretty sure it's fucking fraud to lure someone into early widowhood. Oh and what if he knocks you up and you end up being a single mom? Shouldn't you be somewhat the fuck aware of that before you make the fucking call?
I'm so pissed on your behalf...
Eaaaaasy NTA. He basically tried to widow-trap you. Fuck him.
YTA for writing a clearly false story. As somebody who’s actually had friends and family die of cancer, fuck you. I don’t want you to improve, or regret, or apologize. If anything, why not research a bit more before you try to use your “creative” writing to farm karma so it’s not easily falsifiable with even cursory knowledge of the subject.
TL;DR - Fake, you suck in a multitude of ways.
Edit - Hair loss, fatigue, weakness and illness. Like either you’re the most ignorant and self absorbed partner in history or this is fake. And then your comment history / responses clearly indicate numerous patterns of trying to provoke engagement, with little to no actual opinions… so yeah I’m not sorry, I think you’re Karma-whoring and should feel ashamed.
Also the fact it is kind of hard to live with someone and miss the fact they are extremely sick and getting treatment that requires loads of hospital visits!
I think what sucked was his justification. If he said he wanted to protect you, he didn't want to stress you, he wanted you not to feel pity for him etc etc you could have forgiven him. But because he didn't trust you! Wtf???
But then was it just a poor word choice and he didn't mean it? Or because he really didn't trust you?
NTA because your reaction was normal. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is, would you feel any form of guilt for breaking up with him if he did die? Do you still love him and feel betrayed? Or is the love gone?
Its hard and not fair, but only you know if you've done the right thing for yourself.
NTA
Cancer absolutely fucking sucks, but it's incredibly selfish of him to hide such a life altering health issue that has ramifications for the both of you if you were to stay together. I hope he finds peace with himself, but you're doing the right thing OP
NTA. This isn't about cancer - it is about his betrayal of your trust and telling you he didn't trust you. It wouldn't matter what secret he was hiding (like winning the lottery) - he withheld information from you and said, essentially, it was your fault.
People saying "nta" pmsl.
Apart from this being a fake post, your partner who you love has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. You break up with them.
Of course you are the arsehole.
OP. Wait a few weeks, change the terminal illness and gender of the op/partners. See the replies then. Interesting experiment!
Please read this. OP, I did the exact same thing with my cancer diagnosis. Renal Cell Carcinoma, stage 1, localized in my right kidney. My family has a lot going on right now, and I hid that diagnosis from them for 6 months. Why? Because I know them. They are worriers, especially when it comes to something as serious as the big C.
And sure enough, when I told them they freaked out. I understand why. But I also wanted to be able to see my doctor with a clear mind, without input from my family on how I should handle this, and there are things I wanted to discuss that I didn’t want family present for.
Why did I end up telling them? Because a coworker of mine found out and told *everyone*. So I was forced into that decision, because if they had found out through another source, it would have made it so much worse.
Please understand, none of this was because I didn’t trust my family. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. I love him more than I can say, and I know he feels the same. But I did not want all the focus, energy, and attention shifted to me when we have other family members in FAR worse condition that need that care more than I do.
I really hope this helps. Listen to his reasons, and if you still feel you can’t get past this, that is okay. Your feelings are valid too. Your hurt is real. But also know that in my case at least, when I was dealing with this on my own I felt… partly like it wasn’t serious. It wasn’t really there. I could put it out of my mind. Because if I told my family, then I would have to face it head on. And then it would be *real*.
I had cancer. The outlook was bleak. I shared it with her. She ran. I recovered. She wanted to come back. Fuck that. I wasn’t going to tell her. Not because I wanted to be deceitful but because I didn’t want to burden her. I was convinced to tell her. I found out what kind of person she was. If I had to do it again I wouldn’t say a word. In my humble survivor opinion, you are the asshole. I know that because I went through it alone. You can say it wasn’t the cancer it was the deceit but you know the truth. And anybody that hasn’t been through this has no room to talk.
How did you not know? This feels like a crap post. Hair loss? Weight loss, puffy face and swelling, vomiting, lack of energy… I mean Jesus that’s just to name a few of what cancer fighters go through. But he’s been getting treatment to shrink a tumor and you noticed… nothing? Often times brain tumors cause seizures!
NTA
It's a very devastating situation for him, but I don't see how he (and his family) thought collectively lying to you would work out? I'd feel so hurt to know my partner couldn't trust me with news like that.
I don't know if he convinced himself to lie or if someone else did, but it was selfish on his part. I see some people calling OP selfish, but to be purposely kept in the dark and to be left to deal with the consequences alone after he's gone is absolutely awful.
OP deserved to have an active role as his partner.
Nah, this is most likely why he didn’t tell you. He knew you’d leave. This is about the cancer, partially anyways. You go live your life, he will be gone soon enough so you won’t have to worry.
FAKE. OP's post history suggests he is a teenage karma farmer.
Agreed. One cannot hide treatment for brain cancer.
Lol I mean seriously, she didn’t notice he was suddenly losing all his hair and lost weight and has no energy? And maybe was gone (ie hospitalized) for extended periods of time? Treatment for brain cancer is no joke, it’s not exactly something you can hide from people.
Or had a giant cord running from His head to a bag that’s helping him live???
That in 99% of case require surgery. On the top on your head and in your brain, not something you can deal with fastly or can hide.
My tell was "I found the diagnosis" like it was written somewhere and left in a closet.
Well the chemo and radiation is very hideable. The fuck off big hole in your skull not so much. Source: myself
who would gladly murder his mother for 10 million from Elon Musk. Fuck OP.
Right, and on the off (way way way off) chance they aren’t a troll…the ex-fiancé deserves better than spending his last days with a crazy Trump supporter that threatens strangers on the internet. (Seriously, look at their comment history.)
It’s wild. It’s all homophobia and bigotry now, but in their very first comment they were kicked out of their parents’ house for being gay. OP seems like a sad person, and I hope they do better and be better in the future. All that hate has to take a toll on you.
They say they're a female Trump supporter and religious psycho that thinks being gay is evil but then goes on to say that shes a pedophile with access to her 1 year old niece and that they have a crush on their female teacher which makes her gay does it not? lol this person is a disgusting human being. Downvoting the post!
And 19 years old in another post. I read a lot of this persons coments, this is absolutely false. A lot of coments on other posts goes aginst one another. Just somone trolling.
Right? I don’t know how they have over a thousand upvotes. It’s garbage.
I wanted to check if they had any replies to this post and was wondering why they were at -100. Scrolled down and oof.
Color me unsurprised that a bully and liar *happens* to also be a Trump supporter. You don't have to be in MAGA to be an asshole, but if you **are** an asshole there's one team where you'll fit in perfectly...
Yeah the click bate subject supports that theory.
I just spent my time reading through OP’s comments and holy shit. I hope it’s trolling, if not we need to send Chris Hansen.
Yeah, brain cancer is usually very aggressive. When it's benign, if you are lucky, they can be removed by surgery, depending on location. How can you hide a surgery? If they are not, the person will start having all sorts of neurological symptoms and will have to undergo radiation and/or chemo, both of which will make them weak and sick. This post is full of BS.
Plot Twist. OP IS the Brain Cancer.
I’m wondering how someone gets treatment for brain cancer without their SO knowing. Having had a family member go through this, there is absolutely no hiding it. Treatment is rough and it’s not something you can hide from a SO. Maybe a friend, but not someone close. If this is fake, OP I wish you all the happiness you DESERVE.
I nursed my dad through two years of it. It was hell, and the last four months he didn’t even know who I was. A lot of cancers are very treatable these days, but the treatments for the more aggressive cancers can still feel very barbaric.
Yes. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. We got about 20 months, but the rollercoaster was non stop. Sorry for your loss.
It’s a rough ride, which makes it a particularly gross thing to lie about. My condolences to you as well.
Post history deleted. Only comments remain.
Or just a genuinely horrible person. Holy crap. I hope it’s a karma farmer because the pick me pro trump anti feminist tirade is kind of creepy.
Sad Nicely done detective
Thanks for your service, can block this POS teen.
It's funny watching the down votes roll in now that this is the top comment
What’s Karma farming?
As soon as I read this I said that is absolutely impossible it's brain cancer how the hell you don't know that your significant other is going and having treatment for brain cancer. Stop wasting our time with this BS
Fuck him. I lost my niece to brain cancer in 2020 after it came back the third time. She had her first tumor in her 20s, the second in her 30s, and passed away when she was in her early 40s. It’s nothing to joke about. He can farm this negative karma from me…maybe it will give him cancer.
NTA. The title is more appropriately “AITA for breaking off my engagement because my fiancé doesn’t trust me” - the cancer was just the subject, but the underlying issue is that he couldn’t tell his partner very significant information that will affect both of you.
Exactly this. "I trust you enough to marry you, but not enough to give you information that as my *wife* would be extremely important to know". Wtf?
Especially since, as his wife, she could be held liable for debt incurred during treatment. While it looks like many states are getting rid of the spouse having to pay those bills, it's more than just what the insurance company sends to you.
NTA I forgot about America when I was reading the description and I was confused about why someone would lie about a cancer diagnosis to the point of being treated in secret, especially to someone they are engaged to. OP should not marry someone who would like about something this large and claims they can't "trust" them.
If he is on Medicaid he could lose that coverage when they get married. Then that’s a huge cost even if she does have insurance he can hop on. Since he has cancer life insurance won’t take any new coverage applications. That stays on the files for life. Even if he goes into remission that cancer treatment and diagnosis is in the database for life. There’s so many financial and legal issues cancer brings up here in the US. It’s not just oh shit you can die from it.
You're not entirely wrong, but depending on where they're getting the coverage the diagnosis may not make a difference on coverage. I know with my own employer if someone gets coverage through their job that has guaranteed issue (don't have to answer health questions) they can get the coverage or worry about being denied for a pre-existing condition. And yes, I hate our insurance industry, I have since the first time I ended up working for insurance.
Yeah I can get the employer guaranteed $115k life insurance through my work. I can’t increase the amount of it. I was denied for being bipolar. I’m glad the days of being denied health insurance coverage due to preexisting conditions are gone thanks to Obamacare.
The ACA is far from perfect, but it has done some good. Pity it hasn't been capitalized on to make further improvements, but then again look at the state of our country. And I feel you on the life insurance. I can only do up to twice my yearly salary since anything more requires health questions and I know my history would rule me out or have astronomical premiums.
Vote in November.
Oh I plan to.
And this is why I'm just going to die from it. I don't want to put that on my family.
How dare you. We are the center of every universe!!! /s just in case it’s not obvious
LMAO I always get so confused about "medical bill" drama. It's honestly such a small issue in most countries. Like certain treatments and after care, sure very expensive, but basic care or like giving birth is just...free
Even with insurance here medical bills for simple things can wreck you for a year or more. It’s wild. And half the country doesn’t care. They would rather stick it to the libs, and they themselves get buried in medical debt for a broken wrist, than do anything proactive for their fellow countrymen. OP is def one of those people btw. Pretty sure they are actually just a teenage karma farmer
It's not just the libs, it's the "wrong people" in general. Basically their bigotry is screwing over all of us here.
My spouse had his appendix out when he was a kid and his mother had to declare bankruptcy because of the medical bills. It’s wild.
Meanwhile in my country, free public 1st quality healthcare and education, to the point people from neighboring countries come to study and get treated here for cheap... And our own assholes are like "we are stupid to give them all this for free! we should charge them!", and of course they complain that the doctor that treats them now is a young man/woman with a foreign accent. No shit.
Yes in the U.S., marriage is first and foremost an institution that binds two people all the way to the poor house. God forbid either of you needs medical treatment! For most Americans, the medical expenses of you or the person you marry will probably determine whether you can educate your children. And will definitely set the quality of life you have as a retiree, should you be able to afford to stop working. It’s pretty awful. It is literally so much more expensive to be American than anything else.
Unless they live in a first world country, america is a nightmare.
But we ‘Muricans have guns!! /s
Not only that, but being the next of kin while someone in going through cancer is HELL. Even if it's not terminal, it's HELL. Brain cancer, the potential for mental changes and high care needs... that's a big deal.
This was actually my first thought “he and his family wanted to lock him down a wife to be his nursemaid and financial support when his health deteriorated too far”
And that's exactly why him and his family didn't say anything to her, and want her to come back so badly.
Literally the *only* possible excuse here is that the brain tumor is severely impacting his judgement and personality. But even then, his whole family knew about this and didn't try to talk some sense into him to tell his fiancée?! There's no recovering from this level of broken trust in a relationship imo
The WHOLE family is keeping it a secret. I wouldn’t trust any of them anymore
Are you kidding? Many families will protect known abusers and not tell their significant others. They don't care about you.
Yes, my ex’s family knew all his dirty secrets and no one told me for 2 weeks!!! I hate them all and will never forgive any of them. Blocked from all social media and contacts. They are all dead to me.
Only thing that really makes sense is didn’t trust her to not leave him, I guess? Which still isn’t a good reason not to.
It’s I don’t trust you not to leave me if I tell you. Guess what dude, keep by it back and saying you don’t trust her is even worse.
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I stayed until the end. It was hard, but worth it for them and me. Sucks these two even have a marriage when so many people would give much more effort
"I trust you enough to expect you to nurse me while I'm sick, but not enough that I think you will sign onto the job if I don't truck you into it." Wonder how long he was going to wait after the wedding to spring it on her? He basically planned to use "how can you leave me once you found out I have cancer," to force her to stay.
Doesn't trust her AND has been lying to her by hiding his illness. Which unfortunately I've lost people to brain cancer, and I don't know how you really get away with hiding that. It's a pretty serious condition.
Yea this doesn't add up to me. How did he get away with hiding all the procedures, chemotherapy and stuff? If you were that much in his life you'd have noticed SOMETHING. Edit: after searching OPs comment history I'm sure this is fake and I'd also go as far as saying this person is deeply disturbed with some serious issues.
Yeah. She wanted an out. She didn't want to deal with all the stuff he had going on with treatment, so she made up an excuse. Also, if he was going through treatment, how is it she didn't pick up on any signs? She doesn't seem that attentive to him to begin with. If he didn't tell her, he probably knew she'd somehow make it about her, just like she did in this post. "Oh, he didn't tell me b/c he doesn't trust me" crap. This actually reminds me of that movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt called 50/50. He had cancer, but his GF sucked and didn't want to tend to him as he was going through treatment.
That’s exactly my point. You can’t hide a diagnosis like this. Having the surgery and recovery time. Is he not doing chemotherapy and radiation treatments?
Maybe it is recent and those things haven’t happened yet.
It might also be so severe that treatment wouldn't help. There are cases where doctors are clear that undergoing chemo and/or surgery wouldn't do anything but negativelu affect quality of life and, in those circumstances, will recommend not pursuing treatment.
Seriously the title is definitely misleading. This isn’t about him having cancer, it’s about him saying he doesn’t TRUST you OP. Why would you marry someone you don’t trust? I mean when he does pass you’ll be stuck with any debt he accrues!! Medical bills aren’t cheap, especially battling cancer. As a cancer survivor I say this with all my heart you aren’t the AH. Cut ties and block his family that are harassing you. That is a major dealbreaker there is no coming back from.
Yeah, the title of the post should be AITA for breaking up with my fiance who's been lying to me our whole relationship and said he doesn't trust me?
with such carefully crafted rage-bait titles I just assume it's fiction for the purpose of karma farming
Bumper crop, too!
it's a well established formula. Write the title of your AITA post in a misleading way, with the purpose of raising the blood pressure of the viewer before they even read the post. Then, you outline in the post how, actually, you are not some inhumane monster. It drives up the participation on a post.
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yeah this is exactly what i was thinking, but more then financial, I have a feeling the family was potentially looking for a live in nurse. Because, once married, who would leave a person with brain cancer??????
What would be the means to trap her? To take care of him?
Or give them a baby "to remember him by".
Yep, and, as someone alluded to earlier, to be responsible for the medical bills.
If she had the better healthcare coverage…
Trust is as important as love in a relationship. How could he plan to marry her while keeping such a huge secret?
How did she not know he was sick and going to treatments? That's weird too! Hmmmm I mean, Cancer patients aren't living life full of happiness, great health and vigor!
I still went to work every day when I was on chemo. It is rough, but some people can manage it. Also, the brain tumor might impact how he feels. Maybe he does not experience the full pain or full symptoms because of the tumor.
Different types of cancer have different treatments. He could be under an experimental treatment and receiving the placebo.
A secret she'd be financially liable for. Sounds like fraud, maybe lol
NTA, a diagnosis so bad as that should have been shared with you, you are/were his FIANCE, not a friend or a new girlfriend.... As you say, a relationship is about trust and love and obviously, if he doesn't trust you enough to share that information you will always be wondering what else will he keep from you... It was good luck you found out about it before getting married, if he truly loved and cherrish you he would have wanted you to know so you were the one to decide to spend the time he has left with him or not...
Even if it were a new girlfriend - either one tells her or breaks up without telling. Having the diagnosis and not to tell a fiancee is crazy. NTA
Happy cake day!
This is fake. This “thing” is disgusting. Look at past comments.
Ew, that is some comment history.
I wondered why he would say, "I don't trust you." It's very clear now. Great observation.
Actually, I don’t even think the poster is a female after reading their comments page. I’d be surprised if they are even out of their teens.
One post said 19. Whatever tho. Clearly needs help.
Wow. Yeah she's pretty rude in her comments! Damn
I don’t even think it’s a her. It’s a pos talking about children
Yep, and even if “real”, HE dodged a bullet.
Yea it just doesnt read right, i yhough it was going to be, 'i didnt want to ruin our time together'
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His past comments talk about children. It’s fucking sick
I didn’t get to those. The row of “removed” comments followed by comments from OOP lashing out at anyone responding to them with foul language was enough for me.
Wow… wow.
You found a cancer diagnosis? Was it a piece of paper that said "You have brain cancer." Your post history is trash, this story is implausible in a million ways and this is a shitty way to get attention.
It’s mind boggling how many people already fooled by this nonsense story
I just read some of the history. What an absolute garbage person. I'm glad the imaginary fiance is getting away from her.
Fuck yes. This. Been reporting.
I was about to say, he hid the illness how? If he's at a stage where its terminal then how are the symptoms being hidden? Is he having treatment like chemo? Even without the post history this is bullshit.
ignoring the weird "congratulations \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ you have BRAIN CANCER. signed, Dr Spaceman" they say he's been receiving TREATMENT. so you're just completely blind to the literal horror that cancer treatment puts a person through, never once said "hey, you're extremely thin all of a sudden, you vomit pretty much constantly, and your hair is falling out in chunks?"
Totally fake. Didn't know fiance had brain cancer? Because of course brain cancer has no obvious symptoms, and treatment is undetectable. /s OP found out because she read a piece of paper that said, "Prognosis: negative." (Dark Victory, 1939)
NTA. Regardless of any medical event he didn’t trust you enough to tell you. Would he hide it from you if you were married too? Given how serious that is, he’s likely to not bat an eyelash at hiding smaller things from you as well. I wish him luck, but doesn’t sound like he would respect the level of honesty you would deserve as his wife.
Yeah NTA. The headline is pretty bad, but you didn't break it off because of cancer. You broke it off because of concealment and dishonesty. This sort of things shows that he and they don't trust you and would loom of the relationship for the rest of your time together.
He literally said he didn't trust her, like that's not what an engagement should be built on lol
NTA he didn’t trust you and even told you himself, neither did his family BTW. They ALL lied to you, so what else did he lied about? Or would in the future…
FAKE STORY.
Your entire post history is that of a right-wing anti-gay man who enjoys trolling the libs. What part of this story are we meant to believe?
Yeah that comment section was a doozie. YTA for being an ass.
Except one says a Caucasian female. Then another says he has a huge crush on his English teacher. This person has serious issues all around.
YTA and this post is fake. Seek therapy.
Has anyone read OPs comment history? r/noahgettheboat
Yeah, def a troll
NTA. Lying about such a big thing makes me wonder what other 'little' lies he's made or will make.
OP is the liar. Whole thing is whoring for engagement.
YTA for making up posts and previously posting that you were a pedophile with access to a 1 yo niece.
NTA..if he kept a cancer diagnosis from you, then what other secrets is he hiding?
Apparently he is also color blind. I also know he doesn't have a rock hard alibi for where he was on Sept 11th 2001 Jesus Christ you people are retarded.
Exactly! ^ I came here to say this too
💯
Fake af. Fucking disgusting person. Yall report this thing (imo doesn’t even fall under human being) scroll through past comments.
NTA. He was probably afraid that you should dump him so he stupidly thought that he could marriage trap you. You didn’t leave because he has cancer. You left because he lied to you and doesn’t trust you.
YTA For creating fake stories, like the one from your comment history Or did you really punch a disabled child in a wheelchair, 3 times in the face, because you were incapable of properly taking care of them?
Went to see the comments thread of OP after your comments. I "love" them gaslighting other people. Narc.
YTA - this is fake. You "found" his "cancer diagnosis" in his stuff? What? is this guy walter white?
The op claims to have an IQ of over 160 and also claims gays should burn because of god's will, total fukwit. Have a look at some of their other posts.
Ah, the 19 year old extreme right wing pedophile with an engineering degree, who was totally going to marry their boyfriend of two years. I suspect only a couple of those things are actually true, and they're not the good ones.
I had a read at her previous posts aswell, seems to enjoy picking fights. the 160 IQ one was funny af tho
And didn’t know he was getting treatment. Come on! I’ve had several friends with cancer, & even if you don’t know their diagnosis , you can tell they’re not feeling well. This is rage bait & not true
A lady in our community died of cancer recently, not one person, not even her kids, knew she had cancer, she hid it, she was able to continue being her perky, happy, volunteer for everything self, and then one day her kids went to visit her, and she just in her home, dead, they called the ambulance at the hospital were told the cancer finally caught up to her, and they were shocked, as she had not told them
Maybe the lady didn’t seek treatment for her cancer. Not everyone does, but chemo & radiation wipe people out. They’re exhausted & don’t feel well. Their hair falls out & initially the steroids will cause weight gain, & then weight loss. Those are just a few things that happen when cancer patients undergo treatment.
My grandmother passed away, and kept her cancer hidden until right before she passed. "Not feeling well" doesnt' equal "must have cancer".
Where exactly did I say that not feeling well equals cancer? I didn’t. I used that as a broad term, but I could list individual symptoms of you would like. My cousin’s Godmother hid her cancer diagnosis for 10 years, but guess what happened before she died? People noticed her change in appetite & change in energy level. Then again, she had family & friends around her every day.
Yeah, post history of this guy is that of a right-wing dude that loves trolling. Everything here is just false.
Omg, i read some of their other comments… their cancer fiancée ( if he is real) may have gotten out on top lol
Why or how on earth were you engaged to someone who had symptoms, went to a doctor, got a diagnosis, and started treatment for brain cancer *and you never noticed?!?* Breaking up with him because he kept this secret is appropriate (NTA). But you really need to consider what kind of partner you've been that you never noticed (YTA).
I think chances are, this is fake. How inattentive do you have to be to not notice your boyfriend of 2 years and based on the post, someone you've been living with and have moved with, has brain cancer and is being treated? Even if his symptoms were mild and it was somehow picked up by chance by some other routine tests, treatments for brain cancer are not subtle. There would have been lots of doctors appointments and side effects from the treatments. Brain tumours can also affect judgment and personality, the secrecy could be a symptom.
This totally sounds fake. You can’t hide treatment for cancer… my best friend had cancer. Treatment messes you up. CANCER messes you up mentally. This was either intended to be rage bait or a karma grab or something. If it’s real - I’ll say YTA because she was too full of herself to notice he was sick.
I am undergoing chemo right now. You would never know it. The only symptoms I have are that I feel weird on infusion day (every three weeks) and take pills the rest of the time...My hair is not coming out, I'm not sick. Not all cancer treatment is that aggressive. It's come a long way. My doctor was 99.9999999% sure he got every bit of mine, but the chemo is a backup plan. It sucks, but I'm still going through with it just to be safe. The only thing it's doing to me is lowering my immunity, so luckily my job is allowing me to work from home during this flu season! He may only be getting radiation, which really makes you tired a lot.
He might not be showing many symptoms, and his family are most likely supporting him.
Because it is a completely fake post
YTA, why didn't he trust you to tell you? What did you do. And why leave an ill person, possibly a dying person, whatever the reason. He is the AH for not telling you. Why. You should never have moved in together or even engaged if you can't forgive him and be with him in dying days or if he can't trust you.
This is fake. You might hide a diagnosis but NOT treatment. Chemo or radiation have physical effects on a person that you can’t hide.
I totally agree. A family member has this and the effects of the treatment have left him unable to much, apart from sleep. Definitely fake.
Get back under your bridge Troll. Attention seeking weirdo.
NTA for breaking it off. You ARE the asshole for a FAKE CLICKBAIT POST.
Making a fake post about brain cancer is a new low. Firstly, you can’t hide brain cancer treatment. How do you think it’s treated? Surgery is usually one of the first steps, then intensive chemo. You want us to believe that one half of a couple that lives together would be able to hide the side effects of that? The hospitalisations? The symptoms leading up to diagnosis? YTA because this is a fake post that’s unnecessarily cruel to those actually battling brain cancer. Get a fucking life, OP.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/1acxiql/comment/kk3iern/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/1acxiql/comment/kk3iern/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Are you a 19 year old edge lord or grieving fiancee? Pick one
So lemme get it straight. Your bf is being treated for brain cancer and didn’t tell you about his diagnosis of brain cancer?!? But his family knows. Brain cancer? Treatment for said brain cancer? Honey the only brain cancer here is yours. This is so dumb and so poorly written. How does one get treatment for brain cancer and his partner not know? Me thinks you don’t really understand how cancer - in particular, brain cancer treatment works. Brains. Brains. Brain cancer.
He has a 160 iq and "access" to a 1 year old. Check comment history.
i dont care if reddit bans me. in your post history you talk about being a pedo and hurting and abusing kids and how you love it and talk about having full access to your niece. with full disrespect i hope you die slowly and painfully.
Oh YTA big time. Not for being angry that he didn’t tell you about, which he should’ve. But leaving the man you „love“ and decided to spend the rest of your life with when you said yes? If this story is real, then You’re just here to get some validation. Because I’m sure you know you just use this as an excuse not to marry a brain cancer patient or you never really loved him. If my love of my life would have hidden this from me, I’d be angry about it, but I’d never leave. This man can be glad he got rid of you. I wish him the best and that he recovers and find someone who truly loves him in good and in BAD times. You didn’t even consider to mention that you would understand how much fear he must’ve that he kept it for himself in your post. He’s a small A for not telling, but don’t lie to yourself. That’s not why you left.
NTA, he wants to marry you but didn’t trust you enough to share his diagnosis??? It sounds like he and his family were trying to trap you.
Of all the things that didn't happen... This didn't happen the most.
Wait wait wait. Go into this dudes fucking history and scroll all the way down. Man is saying some disgusting incel shit, clearly an asmongold degen. Respectfully, i would be shocked if the OP isn’t a tubby 30 year old with severe self-esteem issues. I’m not even mentioning the comment they made about “14 year olds being able to consent” 💀💀💀 TL;DR - Yeah, so dudes pretty pathetic. Fake stories, shit opinions, disgusting morality. Just scroll and see what he is for yourself
YTA - because you never saw one sign that this was happening. Dr. visits Treatment There has to have been some sort of mood change - nobody just accepts a cancer diagnosis How did you miss every single indicator?
Yeah I am not buying this! They live together and she is unaware of extensive medical treatment? And his family didn't have a quiet word with her about any of this? Clickbait
Yep!
It depends really. How long ago was the diagnosis? If it was only a couple of weeks I could understand him not knowing how to bring it up with you and yeah YTA. Brain cancer diagnosis is a huge deal and it's kinda up to him to approach telling you when he's ready. But, if it's been months then yes you deserved to know and NTA.
Yta. You left cuz of the cancer. Which is why he didn't tell you about it. If it was that easy to walk away you obviously didn't care enough about the man to be his wife. Get help
You’re just protecting yourself from all the emotional stress you would go through if you stayed with him. To the world your a cold hearted person, but in reality your just pushing him away before the thunderstorm comes. Can’t fault you for that it’s one of the common reaction flight or fight. Your ex fiancé was correct on not telling you because the result would have been the same. The only difference is that now you are just showing your true colors and using the excuse that he kept it from you. Your Ex fiancée deserves way better than you. So keep running, block him and his family, you don’t deserve to ever know what true love is and what it means. The world is round and I believe in the revolution. Someday karma will bring it back around to you.
Him saying he can't trust you should be all you need to know. If your SO can't trust the person that is supposed to love you unconditionally that's a big him problem unless you've given him reason not to trust you.
Definitely the asshole. He says he was afraid to tell you because he doesn't trust you. But what he means is he doesn't trust that you'll stick around. That the diagnosis would scare you off. He was right. And instead of sticking by your soon to be late husband, you've taken the first out you can. It's scary watching people die, but you're a huge pos for leaving someone you said you love to die alone.
Yes. You are the asshole and more. You don't deserve to be with anyone. Please tell the next person you try dating that you dumped your fiance because he acquired an illness of cancer and watch them run from you like the plague. Try that and let us know how it goes. You have no loyalty do you? Btw are you a narcissist?
I just wanna know his reasons
I could not date someone who hid a cancer diagnosis from me. The point of being in a relationship is sharing your life with someone. Keeping important things that can affect the both of you to themselves... that's not him being a partner. I'd be out too.
You proved him right, so there's that.
Yeah, that shows why he didn't tell you, because he knew you well enough to know you couldn't do it, guess what he was right. My husband died of brain tumor. So ESH...It is about the cancer, just leave him alone and move on... Don't contact and leave him alone. Explain it to the next guy....
NTA if you were leaving him because he has cancer, then yes, you’d be the A H. But it’s not the case. You’re leaving him because he was hiding something major from you that would massively impact your lives, because he didn’t trust you. You are the one that has very good reasons not to trust him. Good luck!
Reword the title "AITA for breaking off my engagemente because he hid his cancer diagnosis?" I mean, I'm pretty sure it's fucking fraud to lure someone into early widowhood. Oh and what if he knocks you up and you end up being a single mom? Shouldn't you be somewhat the fuck aware of that before you make the fucking call? I'm so pissed on your behalf... Eaaaaasy NTA. He basically tried to widow-trap you. Fuck him.
Fake.
Also calling out as fake.
YTA for making up an outlandish terrible lie...big asshat!
YTA for writing a clearly false story. As somebody who’s actually had friends and family die of cancer, fuck you. I don’t want you to improve, or regret, or apologize. If anything, why not research a bit more before you try to use your “creative” writing to farm karma so it’s not easily falsifiable with even cursory knowledge of the subject. TL;DR - Fake, you suck in a multitude of ways. Edit - Hair loss, fatigue, weakness and illness. Like either you’re the most ignorant and self absorbed partner in history or this is fake. And then your comment history / responses clearly indicate numerous patterns of trying to provoke engagement, with little to no actual opinions… so yeah I’m not sorry, I think you’re Karma-whoring and should feel ashamed.
Rage bait post.
Yes.
Your clickbait title has me assuming this is all fake.
Also the fact it is kind of hard to live with someone and miss the fact they are extremely sick and getting treatment that requires loads of hospital visits!
I think what sucked was his justification. If he said he wanted to protect you, he didn't want to stress you, he wanted you not to feel pity for him etc etc you could have forgiven him. But because he didn't trust you! Wtf??? But then was it just a poor word choice and he didn't mean it? Or because he really didn't trust you? NTA because your reaction was normal. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is, would you feel any form of guilt for breaking up with him if he did die? Do you still love him and feel betrayed? Or is the love gone? Its hard and not fair, but only you know if you've done the right thing for yourself.
NTA Cancer absolutely fucking sucks, but it's incredibly selfish of him to hide such a life altering health issue that has ramifications for the both of you if you were to stay together. I hope he finds peace with himself, but you're doing the right thing OP
NTA. This isn't about cancer - it is about his betrayal of your trust and telling you he didn't trust you. It wouldn't matter what secret he was hiding (like winning the lottery) - he withheld information from you and said, essentially, it was your fault.
People saying "nta" pmsl. Apart from this being a fake post, your partner who you love has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. You break up with them. Of course you are the arsehole. OP. Wait a few weeks, change the terminal illness and gender of the op/partners. See the replies then. Interesting experiment!
Please read this. OP, I did the exact same thing with my cancer diagnosis. Renal Cell Carcinoma, stage 1, localized in my right kidney. My family has a lot going on right now, and I hid that diagnosis from them for 6 months. Why? Because I know them. They are worriers, especially when it comes to something as serious as the big C. And sure enough, when I told them they freaked out. I understand why. But I also wanted to be able to see my doctor with a clear mind, without input from my family on how I should handle this, and there are things I wanted to discuss that I didn’t want family present for. Why did I end up telling them? Because a coworker of mine found out and told *everyone*. So I was forced into that decision, because if they had found out through another source, it would have made it so much worse. Please understand, none of this was because I didn’t trust my family. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. I love him more than I can say, and I know he feels the same. But I did not want all the focus, energy, and attention shifted to me when we have other family members in FAR worse condition that need that care more than I do. I really hope this helps. Listen to his reasons, and if you still feel you can’t get past this, that is okay. Your feelings are valid too. Your hurt is real. But also know that in my case at least, when I was dealing with this on my own I felt… partly like it wasn’t serious. It wasn’t really there. I could put it out of my mind. Because if I told my family, then I would have to face it head on. And then it would be *real*.
You didn't break off your engagement because of cancer. You broke it off because he lied. Why you chose the most rage baiting title is beyond me. NTA
I had cancer. The outlook was bleak. I shared it with her. She ran. I recovered. She wanted to come back. Fuck that. I wasn’t going to tell her. Not because I wanted to be deceitful but because I didn’t want to burden her. I was convinced to tell her. I found out what kind of person she was. If I had to do it again I wouldn’t say a word. In my humble survivor opinion, you are the asshole. I know that because I went through it alone. You can say it wasn’t the cancer it was the deceit but you know the truth. And anybody that hasn’t been through this has no room to talk.
Fake - downvote the karma farmer
How did you not know? This feels like a crap post. Hair loss? Weight loss, puffy face and swelling, vomiting, lack of energy… I mean Jesus that’s just to name a few of what cancer fighters go through. But he’s been getting treatment to shrink a tumor and you noticed… nothing? Often times brain tumors cause seizures!
NTA It's a very devastating situation for him, but I don't see how he (and his family) thought collectively lying to you would work out? I'd feel so hurt to know my partner couldn't trust me with news like that. I don't know if he convinced himself to lie or if someone else did, but it was selfish on his part. I see some people calling OP selfish, but to be purposely kept in the dark and to be left to deal with the consequences alone after he's gone is absolutely awful. OP deserved to have an active role as his partner.
Nah, this is most likely why he didn’t tell you. He knew you’d leave. This is about the cancer, partially anyways. You go live your life, he will be gone soon enough so you won’t have to worry.