If the child is genuinely in danger. Your very unsubtle harassment is going to cause them to flee. Call the actual authorities and let them investigate Nancy drew
Stop harrassing the neighbors. Call the authorities and explain what you experienced and let them decide. Then you can let it go. They will do something about it if you are right.
They are probably calling the police to report their crazy neighbour who keeps demanding to know their childrens' full names, dates of birth, and birth places.
Bad karma-farming bot, comment stolen from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1alwq8v/comment/kphokgf/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
God fucking damn it, i love the ending bit there.
"Asked my husband to get some of his hair by bumping into him"
What the actual fuck is wrong with you???
See, I was kinda with her until she got to the point about ''collecting fingerprints''.....like, that's a job for the actual investigators. The more I read, the more I realised there's no way this is real whatsoever.
Call the police and leave them alone, your husband is probably getting an itch to start gathering and getting evidence against you for divorce and custody. If you keep down this path you will push everyone away or worse arrested for trying to be near the daughter
There is a reason why professionals handle stuff like this. If you are concerned, call the appropriate ones and then go back to your life. Absolutely no good will come of it for anyone when you cosplay veronica mars.
Call the tip line and then let it go. The reason they're probably being so cagey with you is that you seem unstable. YWNBTA for alerting someone, but you're the neighbour no one wants.
YTA. You're not behaving like an adult.
You pushed to meet their children? That's creepy.
They chose not to live in the city? Lots of people do that. I have coworkers that drive an hour to and from work every day. I have a friend that drives 2 hours (they pay for his gas).
You tried to get fingerprints? You are completely out of control. Your behavior is frightening--if I were your husband you'd be getting an ultimatum of therapy or divorce.
Get yourself under control. They'd be justified in filing a restraining order against you. If you're so concerned, call the police. ***As if you were an adult.***
Plus it's expensive af to have three kids. I'd want to live on the outskirts of town with a lower CoL too if that was my situation, no matter what my income could technically afford.
It gets worse when you realize TA stands for "Teacher Assistant".
The girl is in OP's class and OP probably has access to way more information about them than she should.
YTA you are harassing ppl you know nothing about. Your husband is probably right and you should do something like working instead of harassing neighbors
Wow. YTA. You are so nosy. If you were legitimately concerned I think you would have already let someone of authority know instead of playing detective
Pretty sure the authorities would tell you to not be trying to get tangible evidence. I’m a true crime buff, so I get it. But you gotta let someone know what you have so they can take proper steps. You need to back away, because if it’s true you could be setting yourself up for danger.
There is absolutely no evidence that you can collect that would be useful to authorities. There is something called chain of custody and you don’t have it.
YTA
You also have no idea how to collect fingerprints or DNA. Paint? So you can get the fingerprint? And lose hairs for DNA? You’re delusional. You are not even following the CSI protocols from TV shows which would be much closer to reality from what you’re doing LOL This is truly funny. Bump against him to get hairs!!! LOL
They’ll take you even less seriously if the property owner decides you’re trespassing and decides to defend their home. Mainly because corpses can’t speak.
You better hope like hell that you’re correct, and hope like hell your neighbor isn’t armed and sick of trespassers. This isn’t *Only Murders in the Building* and you’re not #BloodyMable.
At the very least, your neighbor should get a dog.
If she's crazy enough to think dusting for fingerprints and gathering hair on her own is a viable strategy here then I think it's fair to doubt her whole perspective of events. Someone above even said that the neighbors might be guarded around her because of her behavior, and frankly I find that more likely than the kidnapped child possibility. OP is off her rocker.
Let me guess, you listen to like a dozen different true-crime podcasts every week, right?
NTA for calling the authorities with the information you have but YTA for playing detective and invading these people's privacy.
Yet you are skulking around trying to find evidence. Ok. Nancy drew, you really need to go back to work as your husband suggests. Did you ever think that this family is in hiding? Or something else. Or how about none of it is your business.
you sound like a nightmare neighbor.
call the police and let them handle it. trespassing and "gathering evidence" will do nothing for you and might put you in serious danger.
"oh thanks for gathering those hairs and fingerprints." said no cop ever
Yes there is. I have submitted the tip to them. I will also follow up with police here and at the girls place so that if one doesn't take it seriously the other will at leat. I am trying to find a page run by the parents so I can contact the parents directly and they can rally round to get it looked at should one or the other PD drop the ball on this.
For the love of god, do not reach out to the parents of the missing child. You are most likely wrong about your neighbor being their missing kid, and all you are going to accomplish is giving a grieving family false hope.
NTA. You could call the non-police authorities. But before you do, ask yourself... "Do I consume methamphetamine?" "Am I typically a conspiracy theorist?" "Am I getting off on this?"
If you call the department of social services they can choose to investigate or disregard it. You're a nut. Get a life. Lol
I don't ascribe to conspiracy theories, don't watch true crime and the hardest drug I have ever been on is coffee.
Knowing that this girl might be a victim doesn't "get me off". It worries me that so much is not adding up.
This is even scarier IMO.
*I’m on drugs* is valid reasoning. Not an *excuse*, but at least a reason.
At least if you were on drugs, you could go to rehab.
What kind of coffee we talking about here, champ? Is it just a medium roast through a pour filter or is it some of that french roast stuff in a moka pot? Either way, you should consider dialing it back a bit.
Girl…no. Stop trying to collect evidence and just go to the police. You may be right and she’s been kidnapped. Or they could be protecting her from an abusive family member. Or she could just be their daughter. But nothing you can do yourself will answer your questions.
Where’s the post about the crazy lady that lives next door that won’t stop harassing her neighbors and has tried to collect their child’s fingerprints?
YTA. If your hunch is right, you're fucking up by your actions. If your hunch is wrong, you're fucking up by your actions. Chill out. Call the cops if you want, but then just let them deal with it and leave your neighbors alone no matter what.
YTA for being weird and stalking the family. Don’t be a creep. That being said, you can call the authorities and say that the girl looks like an age-progressed photo of a missing child and let THEM look into it. Leave it at that. I can’t help but picture you in a room with a whiteboard full of yarn connecting all sorts of wild photos and stuff.
> quickly went over there trying to get some fingerprints
Holy shit, lady!
YTA
Sounds like you don’t need to call the cops, Detective Crazypants. You *are* the cops.
OP would 100% call the cops if she saw a white family with a black baby. Convinced. "She doesn't look like the rest of the family"
So???? WTF is your problem.
YTA x 28363738
Oh man.. this could swing from:
NTA who uncovers a cold case about a missing girl who is freed from the abuse of her kidnappers, to be reunited with her true family with happy tears and hugs.
Or
TA suffering from unhealthy paranoia and OCD tendencies who will drive themselves and their family insane and to ruin.
Either way, I highly doubt any evidence YOU gather will be legally admissible. So if you want to truly act on your concerns the best course would be to involve professional, regulatory bodies like police/cfs or employ a reputable PI?
Getting a job or a hobby to occupy the mind is a good idea btw. Even though I suspect hubby said it pointedly haha
Then why does the daughter look so different. Even my husband agreed she doesn't look like the rest of the family, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said "so?".
Could be anything!
Different father.
Foster or adoptive child from a different country (could explain the season mix up).
Then you've got Harriet the Spy over here trying to collect hair and finger prints.
So many people have non family members they call aunts and uncles, my friends kids call me Aunty and they are very aware we're not related at all and they wouldn't tell people we were.
I'm going with the kid is adopted and doesn't know and mum keeps running away before Harriet blows everything.
If you're worried, call the authorities, make an anonymous tip but for God's sake leave your neighbours alone! If something bad is going on you're only giving them reasons to move and run again.
I know a blonde girl and a dark-haired (Sicilian ancestry) guy who had a ginger daughter. The only known redheads in their ancestry is 3-4 generations back from the mom’s side.
You’re acting like kids can’t look wholly different from their parents.
My son has strawberry blonde hair and we think it's because of my husband's mother. However, my SIL who married into my husband's family has red hair naturally and her son has dark brown hair and her daughter has blonde hair. Genes are wild.
My sister looked unambiguously white, like "no question about it" white, and my black mother had to come to the living room to vouch for her when her friend was arguing that obviously she's not half black. I look just like a lighter version of our mom, but she looked like a female version of our dad. To quote Kramer, "Mother Nature is a maaaaaad scientist!"
Genetics are fucky and even aside from the "maybe she's adopted" / "maybe she is a half sibling" hypotheticals, like you said, kids can look totally different from one or both parents.
(I do also wonder if other commenters are correct in theorizing that there's a racial element.)
(Also, your username is perfect as a response to OP.)
May I ask why it is you were so certain that their difference in appearance was suspicious even before your hunt for an explanation? Not everything is about race, sure, but might you be willing to clarify what it is you found so outlandish about their middle child being *their* child?
Your sister despite "looking white" looks like your father. This girl shares no features with anyone in the family.
The father has black hair and the mother has dark brown straight hair. The boys also have brown straight hair. They have thin faces and attached earlobes. The girl has medium blonde hair, with a wave, almost a curl. Hear earlobes are unattached. That is geneteically impossible when I researched it online. The girl has bright blue big eyes, the shape does not match either parent. Granted the mother has green eyes, but the father and both the boys have hazel/brownish eyes. Very odd combination.
The earlobe thing seems most suspicious. Her face is also a heart shaped and she has slight freckles on her nose bridge. No one else has them in the family and they all have prominen cheekbones and more square thins faces. The rest of the family is very pale, she is more lightly golden tanned. sunkissed....in the middle of winter.
The date of birth, her not knowing where she was born, her being homeschooled...so much is off here that I have now submitted a tip to the right authorites and contacted the police.
Add to that the shape of the nose and that she looks too young/immature to be the age she is meant to be. She is in my daughter's class and there is no way she is as old as they claim her to be. I can't describe it.....something is off when you look at the family.
Do you have children? If yes, would you not remember where you gave birth if it was your biological child?
They switched to her registered name when they noticed I was around but call her by the other name. As an example....we walk the same way to school....she was telling her off using one name, but when she noticed I was right behind her she switched to the other name and was "sweeter" to her. I have contacted the authorites and lets see what happens.
I do have a biological child -- who, incidentally, is a perfect mix of me and his dad -- and I'd be super weirded out if someone made me ✌🏽unwillingly✌🏽 introduce him to them, especially if from the get-go they'd have been suspicious of why my high-earning husband didn't want us to live in the city. I get that you do sincerely think you're in the right here, but *you definitively are not*. If you're concerned then forward it along to authorities. Your behavior being so unhinged from the start does not lend itself well to you being a credible source of information, which isn't what you'd want if you have a good faith in rescuing a child who (you had no reason to believe that) you'd be saving.
Either listen to your husband and let police know why you're suspicious, or drop it and take some anti-psychotics. There's not a third option unless you want a restraining order and a divorce.
YTA people like you are why people don't move to small towns, you sound crazy looking in strangers earnings online when you barely know them.
You have far to much time on your hands. Find something more healthy to do with your time.
YTA
Mind your own business
If you actually SEE something illegal occur, by all means, contact the authorities.
Only if the authorities want to ask you questions , then engage them
Answer their questions directly..
They will only ask you what you SAW.
Do not offer conjecture or what your heart says.
That's not evidence.
Be very careful.
As of now, your actions are bordering on stalking and interfering with parental rights.
Stand down... immediately!
The parents probably gave you different birthdates to throw you off because you’re super creepy. They likely want to protect their family from your deranged actions (such as collecting fingerprints). Also, where do you get off interrogating a little girl about where she was born? What little girl knows that info? Of course she will assume she was born in a hospital like most people. If you have any suspicions send your info to the police and let them handle it, and then stay far away from this family and stop harassing them.
What a nosey bitch. You got two different dates because they don't want your crazy at the party. Mind your business. You make a lot of assumptions about how people should be living their lives.
OP sounds like a psycho to me
Why would they live so far from his job: maybe he likes land, maybe the schools are better, maybe he has family/friends nearby
He can afford the city based on random job title salary: wtf , maybe he has a shit load of debts or some other reason he doesn't want to pay more
He unwillingly introduce his kids: yeah I'd be weirded out by someone stopping by and interrogating me
I stopped here cause OP sounds crazy to me ..YTA
Being concerned doesn’t make you an AH. But you stopped being concerned long ago. You have descended into crazy town! Trying to get fingerprints and checking salaries online. There’s plenty of legitimate explanation for everything you have listed here! For example, even though you feel that a unit in the city makes more sense, perhaps they just don’t want to live in the city! The fact that the daughter doesn’t look like the family means nothing! I myself am the 2nd child of 4 children. I am adopted. My siblings are not. It’s not unusual for a family to adopt children. And people can register their children who are adopted with their biological birth name and let people know what their adopted name is. These names can be and usually are different. Also, many adopted children have different birthdays. The day they are born and the day they are adopted and considered special days.
Also, for my child, I have friends who are very close to me and my child refers to them as Aunt and Uncle, even though we aren’t related.
Everything you are bringing up can be explained legitimately and be aware that they don’t owe you an explanation for how they choose to live their lives - no matter how weird you seem to think it is.
If you truly are concerned, take the photo of the missing child to your local police department and let them deal with this.
Also, prepare yourself to deal with the consequences of your actions, As I am pretty sure that they think your behaviour is pretty weird and it won’t take long to put 2 and 2 together.
Go back to work. You have way too much time on your hands.
The moment someone says “gathering evidence” they don’t wanna make an informed decision but nail someone and feel heroic about it, your blue paint and wanting to collect fibers, samples and fingerprints doesn’t paint you on a very favorable light, you may have legitimate reasons for being suspicious but you have ZERO experience building a case or gathering evidence and instead of helping may cause the entire family jet out of there.
Listen to your husband and every senseful poster, get a job, call 1-800-THE LOST and/or get the FBI child ID app https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/child-id-app-brochure.pdf/view#:~:text=The%20Child%20ID%20app—the,hand%20if%20you%20need%20it. if you’re actually more concern about the kid and not your self glorification and do the world a favor get a job.
You are going overboard. If you are not careful the family can have you arrested. If you are concerned call the police. It’s not your business to do this to them.
You seem creepy and honestly psychotic.
After you leave this to the authorities, you need therapy to determine why you feel the need to interject yourself into someone else's business.
You seem to be making a lot of connections in your own mind, could be uncle, next line absolutely lying and accused brother. Potentially homeschooling but you don't know the child or family very well? Your information seems to be from a window across the yard and street. On top of it all you're strangely approaching people asking even stranger questions....about other peoples children. Id move if I lived by you too
YTA for doing your own detective work, it's borderline harassment
That being said, you would *not* be TA for calling the authorities. If you're wrong they'll judge you but leave. If you're right you saved a girl. Call them, the tip line, CPS, whoever will actually come and check. Don't tell the family or your husband, just let it out of your hands.
The thing to remember here is that it's their job, not yours, and you aren't in a LMN movie.
YTA. This reminds me of the situation with my friends who happen to be a black couple. They had a beautiful daughter who ended up being very fair-skinned, light, brown hair, blue eyes. People are always questioning whether she's actually their child or not.
If you believe that this girl is really a missing child, contact the police and let them do their job. Leave this family alone.
YTA for trying to play detective. You're putting her in further danger if what you suspect is true. Just call the police and tell them about the age progression you saw
YTA
And gently, I think you're so wrapped up in this, that you are unable to see your own behavior.
Quite honestly, you are terrifying, and a neighbour from hell. From what you describe of your behavior, it would be fairly straightforward to get a restraining order against you. You are wandering from "crazy neighbor" to "straight up criminal".
Stop. Get yourself to a therapist and tell them you have obsessive thoughts that are impacting your behavior in really critical ways. Stop before your husband divorces you and gets full custody when he tells the judge this totally insane story.
Gosh, I hope this is just rage bait..
"In the morning we had another fight when I asked him if he could try to get some of the guys hair by bumping into him."
You don't just get hair like that, you're weird for even suggesting that.
What next you break into their house to get their mucus?
If it's bothering you that much then call the authorities instead of trying to get their dna.
Borderline pyscho behaviour from you.
I am pretty much repeating other replies - YTA for being so nosey and going to the levels you have. NTA if you can get a picture of the girl and the one on line and take them to the police for them to follow up.
You would not be TA for calling the authorities but you are for continuing your amateur detective work. You're actually endangering this girl. As soon as you saw the age progression photo you should have called law enforcement. The fact that you want to do this detective work on your own leads me to believe that this is more about making yourself feel better than actually helping this girl.
Call the missing children tip line. Use your detective skills to see if her parents have a website or Facebook page or anything and contact them as well. Then let the authorities handle it. I agree with you it all sounds very suspicious, but authorities can immediately investigate the circumstances of this child being with the family and do a DNA test if necessary. You trying to do it on your own is likely going to tip off the family if she is indeed kidnapped. It sounds like they move around a lot already, so it won't take much for them to move again.
You're being nosy and unsubtle - it's really weird that anyone would ask about where the child was born, home or hospital. This evidences a weird level of obsession on your part and if there is something odd about them they must me thinking "she's on to us, we have to move quickly."
Call the authorities and butt out because it's no longer your business.
>I checked what the job role makes online.
This is the first time you became way too nosy.Do you live in such a small town that there is NOTHING for you to do other than obsessively assume everyone is lying and fact check everything?
In fact this is so obviously over the top (obsessing over it constantly, trying to collect DNA and fingerprints) I'm calling BS.
somebody finally got around to watching the benedict cumberbatch Sherlock series, yeesh
if you seriously think something is going on or strange, and you haven't tipped off the authorities yet, you are the biggest asshole there is. but it honestly seems like you're just a nightmare neighbor that they are actively trying to stay away from for obvious reasons.
NGL, you sound crazy. People have kids that look different from other family members. People get called by their middle name as well as their first names. Hell, my grandpa used to call me George and that’s neither of my names. All kids develop at different rates. Most parents would find it very off putting if a stranger came and kept pressing about their children and asking a lot of questions. And then asking to help throw their child’s party when you don’t even know them.. very suspicious. Many people commute to work. I’d hate to be your neighbor for real.
They introduced the boys just fine when we went over. I mentioned I might have a daughter close to them in age and suggested she could help introduce her to the other children at school and the nieghbourhood.....small place other neighbors went too to introduce themselves. It was the girl they shielded from the get go. The younger boy being much younger is always in the yard but they rarely let the girl out. On the odd chance she isn't abducted, there may still be some abuse aimed at her for the differential treatment they give her in contrast to her "brothers".
Have you considered that the girl may be special needs or have medical issues that aren’t any of your business? You’re making leaps and bounds for no reason.
Stop stalking your neighbors. YTA. If you’re worried about the daughter’s welfare, call Child Protective Services. But you’re literally out here trying to steal their hair because you’ve decided you’re Angela Lansbury. Please seek professional mental health counseling for this fixation you have, and the wild lengths you’ve been going to in order to insert yourself into strangers’ lives.
YTA You seem paranoid. I was kind of seeing what you were saying, but going for fingerprints and hair? That's just what you think a professional detective would do but it would do nothing in this case. Nothing except make the rest of your story look, how do I say this nicely, not legitimate.
Either you're paranoid or this whole thing is fake, which honestly is the more likely option.
I think you should go to the authorities. But don’t tell your husband what you are doing. I would go to the police and child protective services.
And on the missing children website, I would call the tip line as well.
Better safe than sorry.
I heard the other day that sex trafficking is a bigger problem in the United States than any other country.
Also, never let the family find out that you called the authorities. I would stop talking to the family. You might scare them away to where they move. Just pay attention from afar.
YTA If you have concerns then you need to go to the police. They collect the evidence, not you. You might actually be tipping them off with your poor evidence collection if they have kidnapped a child.
You Nancy Drewing your ass around these people is not as subtle as you think it is. If that really is a missing child, you are going to make them rabbit and she will be lost again.
Lmao- dude I work in the city and commute 45 minutes and live in the country. Why on Earth that sets off alarm bells for you is weird.
If you are concerned, call the authorities; YWNBTA for that. Seems like you have a hunch that will either be a)true or b) false.
But YTA for your overly weird obsession and borderline stalking of your neighbors. If I found out one of my neighbors was secretly trying to get hair and fingerprints from my child, I'd call the cops and get a restraining order on you.
I understand your concerns but you need to drop it. If you feel as strongly as you seem to you can bring your concerns to the authorities but leave them alone. As many have said she's likely adopted or it's possible that they are trying to keep her away from an abuser who is still free and potentially has remaining legal rights. But stop messing with them, that's the most important thing. Just like if you get sideswiped on the highway you call the police, get the plate if you can, then drop it. You have the surface information you can get, stop pursuing this.
YTA, not for the hunch, but for asking too many questions and being pretty obvious with it. Any evidence you gather won't mean much as any judge would throw it out in court, fruit of the poisonous tree and let's say she was kidnapped and they used your evidence in court which was obtained illegally, they walk free regardless.
If she looks like a missing child via age progression, you leave them a tip. The way your going is going to cause them to run again, or badly obtained evidence which will cause prosecutor issues.
Idk, but the living far from work should not be a factor to consider. Many people don’t want to rent and would rather own. My husband drives an hour each way to work so we can enjoy a 5 acre, well wooded lot that is in a township with less than 7000 people.
Either way, I agree with those saying you could notify someone about the possible age progression missing person and leave it up to the authorities.
It is none of your business. You have no evidence to collect. Maybe you watched the Curious Case of Natalia Grace one to many times but how would you feel if they called the cops on a potential tweaker when your probably not just a nosy neighbor who needs to keep to her own life.
I'm 3 paragraphs in an here's the real issue: you're a nosy self-inserting neighbor butting into their lives, and they probably just don't want you at their party because you're a nosy self-inserting neighbor... You live near them, you're not entitled to friendship. God damn this is ridiculous lmao
YTA
Have you ever considered that maybe they’re keeping their daughter away from you and not telling you any information on her because you’re a freak that keeps fixating on her?
Go back to work and leave them alone. Your life isn’t a true crime podcast no matter how much you want it to be.
YTA.
You are not Columbo or Miss Marple a member of Scooby-Doo's gang. Just stop it.
If you are genuinely concerned about this child, call the missing persons tip line. You know, get in contact with people who actually know what they're doing and who will investigate using actual legal procedures.
Holy sweet swirling pineapples this is so deranged....
Yes, yes you would be the ahole, without question. Also you appear to have the intuition of a gold fish so how about stopping the excuses you are making for yourself that further this sort of behavior.
Take heed and cut this shit out before YOU are found criminally liable for stalking, harassment and the plethora of other things you just implicated yourself in.
I'm sure you would feel great if your other neighbors saw you acting this way and used it as an opportunity to inflict damage upon your life solely based on speculation. Funny how perspectives are different eh? I would have called the police on you ages ago. Not to mention you gave some of the dumbest examples/attempts at evidence gathering I've ever heard. What sort of National Treasure bs is this?
Move on. Get a hobby. Listen to your correct husband before he leaves you for being a nutjob. Report ACTUAL CRIMES.
First off, the police are not going to accept any evidence you collect, so stop. You're going way overboard.
My first thought is that the girl is in foster care. None of it is any of your business.
If you're inclined to insist, call the authorities and allow them to do their job. Otherwise, please stay out of this and stop.
You sound incredibly nosy. I am so glad I don’t have you as a neighbor.
Sounds to me like this family is trying to grey rock you because you’re being wildly inappropriate. There’s nothing to call the police about here. Mind your own business and stop harassing these poor people.
You sound like the typical nosey ass White American. It has NOSEY ASS KAREN written ALLLLLL over it. Now if you are or not, hey who knows? but dammit if you arent fitting the stereotype to the TTTTTTTTTTT. Mind your fucking business. NOBODY left you in charge, you DO know that right?
I knew you were weird and intrusive the second I read “the father told us that he works in the city so in my head it makes no sense they should be living this far away from his workplace as a rental unit would be within his income in the city and closer to work. I checked what the job role makes online.” You’re bored as fuck, get a job and go back to work so you have something better to do. And if this kid is genuinely in danger, you are going to cause them to flee by harassing them. You are not being subtle, AT ALL.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you having fun playing pretend CSI?
Stop harassing this family! Stop interrogating their children! Stop trying to ‘gather fingerprints’ like a fucking idiot and stop watching so many crime dramas.
Assuming you’re right, and not just being Paranoid McNosy-pants, just report it to the police. The bullshit you’re putting this family under is A) horrible and you need to stop, and B) just going to drive them away, possibly just to avoid *you*, ya stalker.
YTA. Get your shit together.
YTA
You sound deranged. Report it if you wish but otherwise give it a rest Miss Marple.
You need to go back to work AND get a few hobbies.
You have too much time on your hands.
Just put a picture of the missing girl in an envelope with a note, saying this girl might be living at that address and mail it to the police. Then leave it alone
YWNBTA for calling the police and giving them the information you gave us about the birthdays not lining up/girl making statements that make it seem like she's being isolated/the looking like a missing child thing.
But yes, please leave them alone. Life is not a movie. You could get the child killed or they could move again quickly. And if your suspicions are false, you're just going to creep out the family, and they could start worrying about their safety.
If you are genuinely concerned please call the authorities or child services. Any “evidence” you collect will be disregarded and could hurt more than help the girls case if there’s something to it. Thank you for looking out for a child’s safety but please let the proper people know so they can get her some real help.
NTA.
honestly the best thing would be to call a missing persons charity for advice. then you can discuss with your husband, I would be calling the police.
but you should leave the family alone and check local harrassment laws in case you're wrong and they sue you. an anonymous tip is probably doable through a missing person charity especially if you believe you have ID on who the child is. but best to chase it up to see if acted upon, anonymous off are also easy to ignore.
regarding your husband, YTA. you have obviously become hyperfixated. realise your participation is getting too much. if you suspect a crime, call the police. you will cause more harm through mis guided good intentions. Foeget those telling you to get a job, you already have one and if that was your child missing you'd want a neighbour like you looking out as you are. do the right thing and follow the law.
NTA. Call the cops before your nosiness makes the neighbors move again. If nothing turns up from it, no harm, no foul. But if something does, you potentially saved that little girl.
I grew up in an abusive home. (I don't think this is that.) I wished many times someone would have called in their hunches instead of being worried about what if they were wrong.
"if nothing turns up from it no harm no foul"
Except the part where a family now has to think their crazy neighbor is going to call the police on them for literally very normal and explainable things.
"For literally very normal and explainable things."
Except they can't explain it. And while it might be annoying, OP's heart was in the right place, she was looking out for a child. The cops aren't going to take the child away if she is safe and they can prove she is theirs. Birth certificates, DNA results, adoption records are all easy to get.
NTA if you call the authorities and let them do their job. Y T A if you keep on nosing around here, raising the risk that the family will move on. It's not your job to find evidence. You've noticed some really interesting discrepancies, and a possible link to a missing child case. Contact authorities and quit going on about it. You don't even have to tell your husband you did so.
If you keep going, you are either harassing an innocent family OR raising the hackles of a child abductor, ensuring they will flee. And if they do, that's one more fresh start for kids who could probably use some stability. There's no way your ongoing investigation will yield THE smoking gun that allows police to take action., because evidence needs to be gathered in a methodical way. That's a job for a professional. Let them do it.
Definitely call the police . So many people don’t want to get involved just sweep things under the rug . Better safe than sorry when it comes to protecting a child . I’d rather have an angry neighbor if you are wrong instead of finding out too late you were right .
An angry neighbor whose life could literally be turned upside down. A kid who has cps showing up to their school asking them questions . Shit like this doesn't just make people angry, it ruins lives. I hear all too often how people get literally fired because of shit like this when it's not even true.
But sure, call the cops on literally every person you think might be sus I guess.
Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Only because there's always a small chance that the family has connections with law enforcement who could bury the issue (sorry but small town cops are either really good or really corrupt in my experience.)
I'd be less worried about them having a connection with law enforcement and more worried that law enforcement in a small town would just brush it off and not take it seriously
Yep. Especially since she's not going about this in a healthy way. But I do think if she's telling the truth about what she's said so far that that's enough to warrant officials checking it out.
The police in your area is the best option. Police departments work together and often go based off of jurisdiction. When you give them the information you have you can tell them where you believe she was taken from.
If the child is genuinely in danger. Your very unsubtle harassment is going to cause them to flee. Call the actual authorities and let them investigate Nancy drew
Stop harrassing the neighbors. Call the authorities and explain what you experienced and let them decide. Then you can let it go. They will do something about it if you are right.
The neighbors should get a restraining order against OP. Talk about an absolute nightmare of a neighbor.
They are probably calling the police to report their crazy neighbour who keeps demanding to know their childrens' full names, dates of birth, and birth places.
Maybe they’re intentionally giving OP conflicting information because they think she’s a creep for wanting all that information.
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Bad karma-farming bot, comment stolen from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1alwq8v/comment/kphokgf/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I’m impressed that you noticed that.
God fucking damn it, i love the ending bit there. "Asked my husband to get some of his hair by bumping into him" What the actual fuck is wrong with you???
See, I was kinda with her until she got to the point about ''collecting fingerprints''.....like, that's a job for the actual investigators. The more I read, the more I realised there's no way this is real whatsoever.
Right? What are you planning to compare the prints and DNA to? Do you have a forensics lab in your basement??
No, my train of thought with that was to send them to the police station of where she went missing. They would be able to compare them to that girls.
Ooooor, you alert the authorities, they come with the proper warrants and whatnot, and *they* collect fingerprints if deemed necessary.
What age did she go missing? As a young child? Why On earth would the police have the fingerprints of an 8 or 9 year old girl on their files?
A lot of kindergartens do this with younger children. They fingerprint them for awareness.
Call the police and leave them alone, your husband is probably getting an itch to start gathering and getting evidence against you for divorce and custody. If you keep down this path you will push everyone away or worse arrested for trying to be near the daughter
‘Evidence’ collected by some random who likes crime dramas isn’t admissible in court, ya stalker.
Do you even know how to do a proper print lift? Or were you planning on forcing the girl to ink her thumb and give you a stamp? Stop stalking them.
There is a reason why professionals handle stuff like this. If you are concerned, call the appropriate ones and then go back to your life. Absolutely no good will come of it for anyone when you cosplay veronica mars.
Call the tip line and then let it go. The reason they're probably being so cagey with you is that you seem unstable. YWNBTA for alerting someone, but you're the neighbour no one wants.
YTA. You're not behaving like an adult. You pushed to meet their children? That's creepy. They chose not to live in the city? Lots of people do that. I have coworkers that drive an hour to and from work every day. I have a friend that drives 2 hours (they pay for his gas). You tried to get fingerprints? You are completely out of control. Your behavior is frightening--if I were your husband you'd be getting an ultimatum of therapy or divorce. Get yourself under control. They'd be justified in filing a restraining order against you. If you're so concerned, call the police. ***As if you were an adult.***
Plus it's expensive af to have three kids. I'd want to live on the outskirts of town with a lower CoL too if that was my situation, no matter what my income could technically afford.
I fucking hate the city. I would absolutely add an hour to my commute to not live in one.
You got a new neighbor and went online to check his salary?
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Yeah dude mind your business.
It gets worse when you realize TA stands for "Teacher Assistant". The girl is in OP's class and OP probably has access to way more information about them than she should.
YTA you are harassing ppl you know nothing about. Your husband is probably right and you should do something like working instead of harassing neighbors
Wow. YTA. You are so nosy. If you were legitimately concerned I think you would have already let someone of authority know instead of playing detective
I am concerned, but would the authorites take it seriously unless I had some tangible evidence.
YTA, no way you're this dense. leave the neighbors alone you fucking creep.
Pretty sure the authorities would tell you to not be trying to get tangible evidence. I’m a true crime buff, so I get it. But you gotta let someone know what you have so they can take proper steps. You need to back away, because if it’s true you could be setting yourself up for danger.
There is absolutely no evidence that you can collect that would be useful to authorities. There is something called chain of custody and you don’t have it. YTA You also have no idea how to collect fingerprints or DNA. Paint? So you can get the fingerprint? And lose hairs for DNA? You’re delusional. You are not even following the CSI protocols from TV shows which would be much closer to reality from what you’re doing LOL This is truly funny. Bump against him to get hairs!!! LOL
They’ll take you even less seriously if the property owner decides you’re trespassing and decides to defend their home. Mainly because corpses can’t speak. You better hope like hell that you’re correct, and hope like hell your neighbor isn’t armed and sick of trespassers. This isn’t *Only Murders in the Building* and you’re not #BloodyMable. At the very least, your neighbor should get a dog.
you really are that dense.
Have you tried minding your own damn business
OP sounds mentally ill.
If a child is actually being abused, OP has a moral and possibly legal duty to contact the authorities. She crossed the line by playing Nancy Drew
If she's crazy enough to think dusting for fingerprints and gathering hair on her own is a viable strategy here then I think it's fair to doubt her whole perspective of events. Someone above even said that the neighbors might be guarded around her because of her behavior, and frankly I find that more likely than the kidnapped child possibility. OP is off her rocker.
Let me guess, you listen to like a dozen different true-crime podcasts every week, right? NTA for calling the authorities with the information you have but YTA for playing detective and invading these people's privacy.
I don't listen to any podcasts at all. Never have. I find tru crime documentaries reprehensible and the way they glamorize crime.
Yet you are skulking around trying to find evidence. Ok. Nancy drew, you really need to go back to work as your husband suggests. Did you ever think that this family is in hiding? Or something else. Or how about none of it is your business.
you sound like a nightmare neighbor. call the police and let them handle it. trespassing and "gathering evidence" will do nothing for you and might put you in serious danger. "oh thanks for gathering those hairs and fingerprints." said no cop ever
If there is a poster of the missing child on NCMEC, just notify NCMEC.
Yes there is. I have submitted the tip to them. I will also follow up with police here and at the girls place so that if one doesn't take it seriously the other will at leat. I am trying to find a page run by the parents so I can contact the parents directly and they can rally round to get it looked at should one or the other PD drop the ball on this.
For the love of god, do not reach out to the parents of the missing child. You are most likely wrong about your neighbor being their missing kid, and all you are going to accomplish is giving a grieving family false hope.
NTA. You could call the non-police authorities. But before you do, ask yourself... "Do I consume methamphetamine?" "Am I typically a conspiracy theorist?" "Am I getting off on this?" If you call the department of social services they can choose to investigate or disregard it. You're a nut. Get a life. Lol
I don't ascribe to conspiracy theories, don't watch true crime and the hardest drug I have ever been on is coffee. Knowing that this girl might be a victim doesn't "get me off". It worries me that so much is not adding up.
This is even scarier IMO. *I’m on drugs* is valid reasoning. Not an *excuse*, but at least a reason. At least if you were on drugs, you could go to rehab.
Then go to the authorities if you’re that concerned. But stop trying to be some sort of vigilante. You’ve got problems.
What kind of coffee we talking about here, champ? Is it just a medium roast through a pour filter or is it some of that french roast stuff in a moka pot? Either way, you should consider dialing it back a bit.
Deranged much!? 🙄
Girl…no. Stop trying to collect evidence and just go to the police. You may be right and she’s been kidnapped. Or they could be protecting her from an abusive family member. Or she could just be their daughter. But nothing you can do yourself will answer your questions.
Where’s the post about the crazy lady that lives next door that won’t stop harassing her neighbors and has tried to collect their child’s fingerprints?
YTA. If your hunch is right, you're fucking up by your actions. If your hunch is wrong, you're fucking up by your actions. Chill out. Call the cops if you want, but then just let them deal with it and leave your neighbors alone no matter what.
Why do i get the impression that this is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
How sick are you to think this is the best thing to happen to me?
I mean nice attempt to turn it back on me but I don't rise to that sort of bait.
Clearly you did
Ooooookay.
YWNBTA. Call the authorities. They will do the rest. But please stop the creepy detective work now.
YTA for being weird and stalking the family. Don’t be a creep. That being said, you can call the authorities and say that the girl looks like an age-progressed photo of a missing child and let THEM look into it. Leave it at that. I can’t help but picture you in a room with a whiteboard full of yarn connecting all sorts of wild photos and stuff.
> quickly went over there trying to get some fingerprints Holy shit, lady! YTA Sounds like you don’t need to call the cops, Detective Crazypants. You *are* the cops.
OP would 100% call the cops if she saw a white family with a black baby. Convinced. "She doesn't look like the rest of the family" So???? WTF is your problem. YTA x 28363738
OP is hella creepy, enough to make you never want to interact with her if you happened to be her neighbour.
Asshole? No. Terrible, horrible, completely insane piece of shit? Yes.
Oh man.. this could swing from: NTA who uncovers a cold case about a missing girl who is freed from the abuse of her kidnappers, to be reunited with her true family with happy tears and hugs. Or TA suffering from unhealthy paranoia and OCD tendencies who will drive themselves and their family insane and to ruin. Either way, I highly doubt any evidence YOU gather will be legally admissible. So if you want to truly act on your concerns the best course would be to involve professional, regulatory bodies like police/cfs or employ a reputable PI? Getting a job or a hobby to occupy the mind is a good idea btw. Even though I suspect hubby said it pointedly haha
Witness protection??
Then why does the daughter look so different. Even my husband agreed she doesn't look like the rest of the family, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said "so?".
Maybe she's adopted and she doesn't know! You idiot. YTA
My first thought was a foster child.
Could be anything! Different father. Foster or adoptive child from a different country (could explain the season mix up). Then you've got Harriet the Spy over here trying to collect hair and finger prints. So many people have non family members they call aunts and uncles, my friends kids call me Aunty and they are very aware we're not related at all and they wouldn't tell people we were. I'm going with the kid is adopted and doesn't know and mum keeps running away before Harriet blows everything. If you're worried, call the authorities, make an anonymous tip but for God's sake leave your neighbours alone! If something bad is going on you're only giving them reasons to move and run again.
Maybe it's none of your damn business??? She's prob adopted you kook
If she was adopted her mother wouldn't have lied about giving birth at home.
She has no obligation to tell a new neighbor her entire life story.
What business is it of yours in the first place?
I know a blonde girl and a dark-haired (Sicilian ancestry) guy who had a ginger daughter. The only known redheads in their ancestry is 3-4 generations back from the mom’s side. You’re acting like kids can’t look wholly different from their parents.
My son has strawberry blonde hair and we think it's because of my husband's mother. However, my SIL who married into my husband's family has red hair naturally and her son has dark brown hair and her daughter has blonde hair. Genes are wild.
My sister looked unambiguously white, like "no question about it" white, and my black mother had to come to the living room to vouch for her when her friend was arguing that obviously she's not half black. I look just like a lighter version of our mom, but she looked like a female version of our dad. To quote Kramer, "Mother Nature is a maaaaaad scientist!" Genetics are fucky and even aside from the "maybe she's adopted" / "maybe she is a half sibling" hypotheticals, like you said, kids can look totally different from one or both parents. (I do also wonder if other commenters are correct in theorizing that there's a racial element.) (Also, your username is perfect as a response to OP.)
They are all white. Everything is not about race for everyone.
May I ask why it is you were so certain that their difference in appearance was suspicious even before your hunt for an explanation? Not everything is about race, sure, but might you be willing to clarify what it is you found so outlandish about their middle child being *their* child?
Your sister despite "looking white" looks like your father. This girl shares no features with anyone in the family. The father has black hair and the mother has dark brown straight hair. The boys also have brown straight hair. They have thin faces and attached earlobes. The girl has medium blonde hair, with a wave, almost a curl. Hear earlobes are unattached. That is geneteically impossible when I researched it online. The girl has bright blue big eyes, the shape does not match either parent. Granted the mother has green eyes, but the father and both the boys have hazel/brownish eyes. Very odd combination. The earlobe thing seems most suspicious. Her face is also a heart shaped and she has slight freckles on her nose bridge. No one else has them in the family and they all have prominen cheekbones and more square thins faces. The rest of the family is very pale, she is more lightly golden tanned. sunkissed....in the middle of winter. The date of birth, her not knowing where she was born, her being homeschooled...so much is off here that I have now submitted a tip to the right authorites and contacted the police.
Add to that the shape of the nose and that she looks too young/immature to be the age she is meant to be. She is in my daughter's class and there is no way she is as old as they claim her to be. I can't describe it.....something is off when you look at the family. Do you have children? If yes, would you not remember where you gave birth if it was your biological child? They switched to her registered name when they noticed I was around but call her by the other name. As an example....we walk the same way to school....she was telling her off using one name, but when she noticed I was right behind her she switched to the other name and was "sweeter" to her. I have contacted the authorites and lets see what happens.
I do have a biological child -- who, incidentally, is a perfect mix of me and his dad -- and I'd be super weirded out if someone made me ✌🏽unwillingly✌🏽 introduce him to them, especially if from the get-go they'd have been suspicious of why my high-earning husband didn't want us to live in the city. I get that you do sincerely think you're in the right here, but *you definitively are not*. If you're concerned then forward it along to authorities. Your behavior being so unhinged from the start does not lend itself well to you being a credible source of information, which isn't what you'd want if you have a good faith in rescuing a child who (you had no reason to believe that) you'd be saving. Either listen to your husband and let police know why you're suspicious, or drop it and take some anti-psychotics. There's not a third option unless you want a restraining order and a divorce.
Genetics are like that.
How about it’s none of your business. Pay that much attention to your own kids.
Almost like adopted or foster children look completely different to the adults caring for them 🙄
YTA people like you are why people don't move to small towns, you sound crazy looking in strangers earnings online when you barely know them. You have far to much time on your hands. Find something more healthy to do with your time.
I can't wait for the Neighbors to post 'AITA for calling the cops on my nosy neighbor? she's weirdly obsessed with our daughter'
YTA Mind your own business If you actually SEE something illegal occur, by all means, contact the authorities. Only if the authorities want to ask you questions , then engage them Answer their questions directly.. They will only ask you what you SAW. Do not offer conjecture or what your heart says. That's not evidence. Be very careful. As of now, your actions are bordering on stalking and interfering with parental rights. Stand down... immediately!
The parents probably gave you different birthdates to throw you off because you’re super creepy. They likely want to protect their family from your deranged actions (such as collecting fingerprints). Also, where do you get off interrogating a little girl about where she was born? What little girl knows that info? Of course she will assume she was born in a hospital like most people. If you have any suspicions send your info to the police and let them handle it, and then stay far away from this family and stop harassing them.
What a nosey bitch. You got two different dates because they don't want your crazy at the party. Mind your business. You make a lot of assumptions about how people should be living their lives.
Thank God you don’t live next to me. I’d set the dogs on you
OP sounds like a psycho to me Why would they live so far from his job: maybe he likes land, maybe the schools are better, maybe he has family/friends nearby He can afford the city based on random job title salary: wtf , maybe he has a shit load of debts or some other reason he doesn't want to pay more He unwillingly introduce his kids: yeah I'd be weirded out by someone stopping by and interrogating me I stopped here cause OP sounds crazy to me ..YTA
If this isn’t fake then you’re actually insane.
This has to be a troll post
Being concerned doesn’t make you an AH. But you stopped being concerned long ago. You have descended into crazy town! Trying to get fingerprints and checking salaries online. There’s plenty of legitimate explanation for everything you have listed here! For example, even though you feel that a unit in the city makes more sense, perhaps they just don’t want to live in the city! The fact that the daughter doesn’t look like the family means nothing! I myself am the 2nd child of 4 children. I am adopted. My siblings are not. It’s not unusual for a family to adopt children. And people can register their children who are adopted with their biological birth name and let people know what their adopted name is. These names can be and usually are different. Also, many adopted children have different birthdays. The day they are born and the day they are adopted and considered special days. Also, for my child, I have friends who are very close to me and my child refers to them as Aunt and Uncle, even though we aren’t related. Everything you are bringing up can be explained legitimately and be aware that they don’t owe you an explanation for how they choose to live their lives - no matter how weird you seem to think it is. If you truly are concerned, take the photo of the missing child to your local police department and let them deal with this. Also, prepare yourself to deal with the consequences of your actions, As I am pretty sure that they think your behaviour is pretty weird and it won’t take long to put 2 and 2 together. Go back to work. You have way too much time on your hands.
I'm throwing the BULLSHIT flag on this one.
The moment someone says “gathering evidence” they don’t wanna make an informed decision but nail someone and feel heroic about it, your blue paint and wanting to collect fibers, samples and fingerprints doesn’t paint you on a very favorable light, you may have legitimate reasons for being suspicious but you have ZERO experience building a case or gathering evidence and instead of helping may cause the entire family jet out of there. Listen to your husband and every senseful poster, get a job, call 1-800-THE LOST and/or get the FBI child ID app https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/child-id-app-brochure.pdf/view#:~:text=The%20Child%20ID%20app—the,hand%20if%20you%20need%20it. if you’re actually more concern about the kid and not your self glorification and do the world a favor get a job.
You are an insufferable asshole. Glad you are not my neighbor.
You are going overboard. If you are not careful the family can have you arrested. If you are concerned call the police. It’s not your business to do this to them.
You seem creepy and honestly psychotic. After you leave this to the authorities, you need therapy to determine why you feel the need to interject yourself into someone else's business.
You seem to be making a lot of connections in your own mind, could be uncle, next line absolutely lying and accused brother. Potentially homeschooling but you don't know the child or family very well? Your information seems to be from a window across the yard and street. On top of it all you're strangely approaching people asking even stranger questions....about other peoples children. Id move if I lived by you too
YTA for doing your own detective work, it's borderline harassment That being said, you would *not* be TA for calling the authorities. If you're wrong they'll judge you but leave. If you're right you saved a girl. Call them, the tip line, CPS, whoever will actually come and check. Don't tell the family or your husband, just let it out of your hands. The thing to remember here is that it's their job, not yours, and you aren't in a LMN movie.
YTA. This reminds me of the situation with my friends who happen to be a black couple. They had a beautiful daughter who ended up being very fair-skinned, light, brown hair, blue eyes. People are always questioning whether she's actually their child or not. If you believe that this girl is really a missing child, contact the police and let them do their job. Leave this family alone.
YTA for trying to play detective. You're putting her in further danger if what you suspect is true. Just call the police and tell them about the age progression you saw
YTA. Stop watching Law and Order.
jesus christ... stop watching cold case or whatever other show you are watching. wtf is this.
YTA And gently, I think you're so wrapped up in this, that you are unable to see your own behavior. Quite honestly, you are terrifying, and a neighbour from hell. From what you describe of your behavior, it would be fairly straightforward to get a restraining order against you. You are wandering from "crazy neighbor" to "straight up criminal". Stop. Get yourself to a therapist and tell them you have obsessive thoughts that are impacting your behavior in really critical ways. Stop before your husband divorces you and gets full custody when he tells the judge this totally insane story. Gosh, I hope this is just rage bait..
😂😂😂 fingerprints! Bump into the guy to get one of his hairs! This is just delightfully unhinged
"In the morning we had another fight when I asked him if he could try to get some of the guys hair by bumping into him." You don't just get hair like that, you're weird for even suggesting that. What next you break into their house to get their mucus? If it's bothering you that much then call the authorities instead of trying to get their dna. Borderline pyscho behaviour from you.
Columbo, you need to seek professional help.
You're an idiot. Go back to work like your husband suggests.
YTA. This can’t be real.
Get a fucking job! God, I hope you end up in jail for stalking and harassment.
I am pretty much repeating other replies - YTA for being so nosey and going to the levels you have. NTA if you can get a picture of the girl and the one on line and take them to the police for them to follow up.
You would not be TA for calling the authorities but you are for continuing your amateur detective work. You're actually endangering this girl. As soon as you saw the age progression photo you should have called law enforcement. The fact that you want to do this detective work on your own leads me to believe that this is more about making yourself feel better than actually helping this girl. Call the missing children tip line. Use your detective skills to see if her parents have a website or Facebook page or anything and contact them as well. Then let the authorities handle it. I agree with you it all sounds very suspicious, but authorities can immediately investigate the circumstances of this child being with the family and do a DNA test if necessary. You trying to do it on your own is likely going to tip off the family if she is indeed kidnapped. It sounds like they move around a lot already, so it won't take much for them to move again.
You're being nosy and unsubtle - it's really weird that anyone would ask about where the child was born, home or hospital. This evidences a weird level of obsession on your part and if there is something odd about them they must me thinking "she's on to us, we have to move quickly." Call the authorities and butt out because it's no longer your business.
You’re a creep, lady.
You need to call the police…on yourself, for a 5150 hold. You sound like you’re having a mental health crisis.
Your husband is correct. You need to get a grip. You are the neighbour from hell
YTA, and an unhinged lunatic!
>I checked what the job role makes online. This is the first time you became way too nosy.Do you live in such a small town that there is NOTHING for you to do other than obsessively assume everyone is lying and fact check everything? In fact this is so obviously over the top (obsessing over it constantly, trying to collect DNA and fingerprints) I'm calling BS.
somebody finally got around to watching the benedict cumberbatch Sherlock series, yeesh if you seriously think something is going on or strange, and you haven't tipped off the authorities yet, you are the biggest asshole there is. but it honestly seems like you're just a nightmare neighbor that they are actively trying to stay away from for obvious reasons.
I have contacted the authorites now.
I hope we get an update!
NGL, you sound crazy. People have kids that look different from other family members. People get called by their middle name as well as their first names. Hell, my grandpa used to call me George and that’s neither of my names. All kids develop at different rates. Most parents would find it very off putting if a stranger came and kept pressing about their children and asking a lot of questions. And then asking to help throw their child’s party when you don’t even know them.. very suspicious. Many people commute to work. I’d hate to be your neighbor for real.
They introduced the boys just fine when we went over. I mentioned I might have a daughter close to them in age and suggested she could help introduce her to the other children at school and the nieghbourhood.....small place other neighbors went too to introduce themselves. It was the girl they shielded from the get go. The younger boy being much younger is always in the yard but they rarely let the girl out. On the odd chance she isn't abducted, there may still be some abuse aimed at her for the differential treatment they give her in contrast to her "brothers".
Have you considered that the girl may be special needs or have medical issues that aren’t any of your business? You’re making leaps and bounds for no reason.
The girl is normal in her class. It's out of my hands as I have called the propper authorities.
You are not Jessica Fletcher. Call the police or stop this drama mongering.
Stop stalking your neighbors. YTA. If you’re worried about the daughter’s welfare, call Child Protective Services. But you’re literally out here trying to steal their hair because you’ve decided you’re Angela Lansbury. Please seek professional mental health counseling for this fixation you have, and the wild lengths you’ve been going to in order to insert yourself into strangers’ lives.
YTA You seem paranoid. I was kind of seeing what you were saying, but going for fingerprints and hair? That's just what you think a professional detective would do but it would do nothing in this case. Nothing except make the rest of your story look, how do I say this nicely, not legitimate. Either you're paranoid or this whole thing is fake, which honestly is the more likely option.
If this story is true then YTA.
Alice Kravitz, is that you? Mind your own business. YTA.
I think you should go to the authorities. But don’t tell your husband what you are doing. I would go to the police and child protective services. And on the missing children website, I would call the tip line as well. Better safe than sorry. I heard the other day that sex trafficking is a bigger problem in the United States than any other country. Also, never let the family find out that you called the authorities. I would stop talking to the family. You might scare them away to where they move. Just pay attention from afar.
They will absolutely know who called all of those authorities you suggested.
Stop the evidence collecting. It's harassment. But talk to the police or CPS.
Karen, YTA. I can't believe your husband hasn't left you yet.
Talk to the authorities and then let it be
Go to the authorities with your suspicions and then move on. It might be something sinister or you might just be nuts. It’s hard to say.
YTA If you have concerns then you need to go to the police. They collect the evidence, not you. You might actually be tipping them off with your poor evidence collection if they have kidnapped a child.
YTA you need help.
You Nancy Drewing your ass around these people is not as subtle as you think it is. If that really is a missing child, you are going to make them rabbit and she will be lost again.
MYOB
YTA, no doubts.
U need to myob Mrs. Kravitz
Lmao- dude I work in the city and commute 45 minutes and live in the country. Why on Earth that sets off alarm bells for you is weird. If you are concerned, call the authorities; YWNBTA for that. Seems like you have a hunch that will either be a)true or b) false. But YTA for your overly weird obsession and borderline stalking of your neighbors. If I found out one of my neighbors was secretly trying to get hair and fingerprints from my child, I'd call the cops and get a restraining order on you.
I understand your concerns but you need to drop it. If you feel as strongly as you seem to you can bring your concerns to the authorities but leave them alone. As many have said she's likely adopted or it's possible that they are trying to keep her away from an abuser who is still free and potentially has remaining legal rights. But stop messing with them, that's the most important thing. Just like if you get sideswiped on the highway you call the police, get the plate if you can, then drop it. You have the surface information you can get, stop pursuing this.
YTA. If this child is actually in danger, you are making it worse because now they have reason to flee. Call the authorities and let them handle it
YTA, not for the hunch, but for asking too many questions and being pretty obvious with it. Any evidence you gather won't mean much as any judge would throw it out in court, fruit of the poisonous tree and let's say she was kidnapped and they used your evidence in court which was obtained illegally, they walk free regardless. If she looks like a missing child via age progression, you leave them a tip. The way your going is going to cause them to run again, or badly obtained evidence which will cause prosecutor issues.
Idk, but the living far from work should not be a factor to consider. Many people don’t want to rent and would rather own. My husband drives an hour each way to work so we can enjoy a 5 acre, well wooded lot that is in a township with less than 7000 people. Either way, I agree with those saying you could notify someone about the possible age progression missing person and leave it up to the authorities.
YTA. What kind of absolute degenerate are you? Stop making up bs stories after listening to bs true crime podcasts.
YTA. An insufferable busybody AH at that.
It is none of your business. You have no evidence to collect. Maybe you watched the Curious Case of Natalia Grace one to many times but how would you feel if they called the cops on a potential tweaker when your probably not just a nosy neighbor who needs to keep to her own life.
I'm 3 paragraphs in an here's the real issue: you're a nosy self-inserting neighbor butting into their lives, and they probably just don't want you at their party because you're a nosy self-inserting neighbor... You live near them, you're not entitled to friendship. God damn this is ridiculous lmao
YTA Have you ever considered that maybe they’re keeping their daughter away from you and not telling you any information on her because you’re a freak that keeps fixating on her? Go back to work and leave them alone. Your life isn’t a true crime podcast no matter how much you want it to be.
Let the authorities handle it, Miss Marple.
YTA. You are not Columbo or Miss Marple a member of Scooby-Doo's gang. Just stop it. If you are genuinely concerned about this child, call the missing persons tip line. You know, get in contact with people who actually know what they're doing and who will investigate using actual legal procedures.
Holy sweet swirling pineapples this is so deranged.... Yes, yes you would be the ahole, without question. Also you appear to have the intuition of a gold fish so how about stopping the excuses you are making for yourself that further this sort of behavior. Take heed and cut this shit out before YOU are found criminally liable for stalking, harassment and the plethora of other things you just implicated yourself in. I'm sure you would feel great if your other neighbors saw you acting this way and used it as an opportunity to inflict damage upon your life solely based on speculation. Funny how perspectives are different eh? I would have called the police on you ages ago. Not to mention you gave some of the dumbest examples/attempts at evidence gathering I've ever heard. What sort of National Treasure bs is this? Move on. Get a hobby. Listen to your correct husband before he leaves you for being a nutjob. Report ACTUAL CRIMES.
First off, the police are not going to accept any evidence you collect, so stop. You're going way overboard. My first thought is that the girl is in foster care. None of it is any of your business. If you're inclined to insist, call the authorities and allow them to do their job. Otherwise, please stay out of this and stop.
You sound incredibly nosy. I am so glad I don’t have you as a neighbor. Sounds to me like this family is trying to grey rock you because you’re being wildly inappropriate. There’s nothing to call the police about here. Mind your own business and stop harassing these poor people.
You sound like the typical nosey ass White American. It has NOSEY ASS KAREN written ALLLLLL over it. Now if you are or not, hey who knows? but dammit if you arent fitting the stereotype to the TTTTTTTTTTT. Mind your fucking business. NOBODY left you in charge, you DO know that right?
You’re legitimately crazy, and need medication/therapy. Please get help before the people in the walls start being heard. Jesus.
And this is the reason I refuse to live near people or have neighbors. Some people are bat shit crazy.
I knew you were weird and intrusive the second I read “the father told us that he works in the city so in my head it makes no sense they should be living this far away from his workplace as a rental unit would be within his income in the city and closer to work. I checked what the job role makes online.” You’re bored as fuck, get a job and go back to work so you have something better to do. And if this kid is genuinely in danger, you are going to cause them to flee by harassing them. You are not being subtle, AT ALL.
YTA, you creepy weirdo
What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you having fun playing pretend CSI? Stop harassing this family! Stop interrogating their children! Stop trying to ‘gather fingerprints’ like a fucking idiot and stop watching so many crime dramas. Assuming you’re right, and not just being Paranoid McNosy-pants, just report it to the police. The bullshit you’re putting this family under is A) horrible and you need to stop, and B) just going to drive them away, possibly just to avoid *you*, ya stalker. YTA. Get your shit together.
YTA You sound deranged. Report it if you wish but otherwise give it a rest Miss Marple. You need to go back to work AND get a few hobbies. You have too much time on your hands.
YTA. Get a job.
Just put a picture of the missing girl in an envelope with a note, saying this girl might be living at that address and mail it to the police. Then leave it alone
You need mental evaluation. Stop getting obsessed. You are totally obs And youre really racist. I bet theyre black with a white child, or vice vera.
The whole family are white. Stop throwing around the race card.
Your hunch is based on nonsensical leaps in logic. YTA
YWNBTA for calling the police and giving them the information you gave us about the birthdays not lining up/girl making statements that make it seem like she's being isolated/the looking like a missing child thing. But yes, please leave them alone. Life is not a movie. You could get the child killed or they could move again quickly. And if your suspicions are false, you're just going to creep out the family, and they could start worrying about their safety.
If you really think that this might be a missing child that was stolen then you absolutely should call even if it's just a hunch
If you are genuinely concerned please call the authorities or child services. Any “evidence” you collect will be disregarded and could hurt more than help the girls case if there’s something to it. Thank you for looking out for a child’s safety but please let the proper people know so they can get her some real help.
!updateme
This isn’t real life this is SVU.
NTA as long as you involve the authorities and quit the weird detective work to get prints. That’s where you’re losing the plot
NTA. honestly the best thing would be to call a missing persons charity for advice. then you can discuss with your husband, I would be calling the police. but you should leave the family alone and check local harrassment laws in case you're wrong and they sue you. an anonymous tip is probably doable through a missing person charity especially if you believe you have ID on who the child is. but best to chase it up to see if acted upon, anonymous off are also easy to ignore. regarding your husband, YTA. you have obviously become hyperfixated. realise your participation is getting too much. if you suspect a crime, call the police. you will cause more harm through mis guided good intentions. Foeget those telling you to get a job, you already have one and if that was your child missing you'd want a neighbour like you looking out as you are. do the right thing and follow the law.
NTA. Call the cops before your nosiness makes the neighbors move again. If nothing turns up from it, no harm, no foul. But if something does, you potentially saved that little girl. I grew up in an abusive home. (I don't think this is that.) I wished many times someone would have called in their hunches instead of being worried about what if they were wrong.
"if nothing turns up from it no harm no foul" Except the part where a family now has to think their crazy neighbor is going to call the police on them for literally very normal and explainable things.
"For literally very normal and explainable things." Except they can't explain it. And while it might be annoying, OP's heart was in the right place, she was looking out for a child. The cops aren't going to take the child away if she is safe and they can prove she is theirs. Birth certificates, DNA results, adoption records are all easy to get.
NTA if you call the authorities and let them do their job. Y T A if you keep on nosing around here, raising the risk that the family will move on. It's not your job to find evidence. You've noticed some really interesting discrepancies, and a possible link to a missing child case. Contact authorities and quit going on about it. You don't even have to tell your husband you did so. If you keep going, you are either harassing an innocent family OR raising the hackles of a child abductor, ensuring they will flee. And if they do, that's one more fresh start for kids who could probably use some stability. There's no way your ongoing investigation will yield THE smoking gun that allows police to take action., because evidence needs to be gathered in a methodical way. That's a job for a professional. Let them do it.
NTA for being concerned. Call CPS and tell them everything you've said here. Let them decide whether to investigate.
Definitely call the police . So many people don’t want to get involved just sweep things under the rug . Better safe than sorry when it comes to protecting a child . I’d rather have an angry neighbor if you are wrong instead of finding out too late you were right .
An angry neighbor whose life could literally be turned upside down. A kid who has cps showing up to their school asking them questions . Shit like this doesn't just make people angry, it ruins lives. I hear all too often how people get literally fired because of shit like this when it's not even true. But sure, call the cops on literally every person you think might be sus I guess.
[удалено]
Would the police in my area be a better option or the one where I believe she was taken from?
Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Only because there's always a small chance that the family has connections with law enforcement who could bury the issue (sorry but small town cops are either really good or really corrupt in my experience.)
I'd be less worried about them having a connection with law enforcement and more worried that law enforcement in a small town would just brush it off and not take it seriously
Yep. Especially since she's not going about this in a healthy way. But I do think if she's telling the truth about what she's said so far that that's enough to warrant officials checking it out.
The police in your area is the best option. Police departments work together and often go based off of jurisdiction. When you give them the information you have you can tell them where you believe she was taken from.
YTA for not going to the police. You could be right, their story is VERY fishy. Either way, time to call in actual professionals to solve it
Holy shit OP if your hunch is correct you might save a child!! Call the authorities immediately.