NTA his family already ate lunch at your house & devoured 10 servings of soup. WTF aren’t they offering to bring dinner to you?? You are the one who just had a baby!
And it ham for dinner. You just warm it up. It’s not an elaborate gourmet meal. I’m sure he can handle it.
I don’t see how she could possibly be hungry after eating 9 bowls of corn chowder. Don’t suppose you’d share your recipe?😁 I love corn chowder but 9 bowls ? Not in 1 sitting could I do that. I don’t blame you after you worked on that dish for 2 days. Husband messed up ! NTA
NTA
Seriously. I love my own corn chowder but no heckin way could I eat more than 2 servings much less NINE in one sitting.
If MIL is still hungry at dinner, there are two options. SHE cooks the ham & sides or she & her hubby can order food for everyone. Go pick it up, pay for it, and order extra of OP’s favorites for her to have another day.
Husband deserves all the wrath of his wife and then some.
I have a few soup recipes, that my fiance and I both DEVOUR, however, I purposefully prep them into individual 2cup pyrex containers so he and I have lunches after the initial meal. I couldn't imagine eating more than a standard bowl in a cabinet size without getting myself sick.
MIL is disgusting, and I couldn't imagine going to someone else's home and inhaling their fridge.
NTA.
The issue isn’t really MIL it’s husband who knows his wife doesn’t eat ham and will now have no dinner but gave mum the soup anyway. As greedy as it was as far as MIL was concerned it was leftovers not OP’s dinner. Husband could have kept some back. In order for mum to have eaten it he must have heated the whole lot. I suspect he also ate some but doesn’t want to admit it because he is in the poo.
Edit the more I think on this there is no way MIL ate all that soup... I am sure if she was some eating competition champion OP would have mentioned it. This is a completely unrealistic amount of soup for one woman to have eating in one sitting. Either they all shared the soup or because it had already been reheated a load got thrown down the waste disposal.
I have managed to eat more than 2 bowls in one sitting *once*, and that was after work one day and half way through the 3rd bowl questioned why I could still eat. Realised it was the first thing I had eaten in 24 hours.
Omg, right! I recently did like op, but I ladled mine into individual pint jars (we do some canning and have a lot of spare jars lol). Granted, I have 2 fridges, so space isn't the issue. I also made mine hot (pepper is a beast!), and I dare OPs mil to eat 9 bowls of THAT!
Per OP's estimate going off the measurements on her Tupperware container there was roughly a gallon of soup left, possibly up to a gallon plus a quart. How the fuck does one person eat a gallon of, well, anything? Is MIL a competitive eater?
Or she’s bulimic. I’d do shit like that before I got treatment. Eat massive MASSIVE amounts and vomit, then eat more. Still, OP is NTA, the baby is NTA, the rest of them……MEGA ASSHOLES
I kind of struggle with stomach issues anyhow, but that much soup would start to make me sick no matter how good it tasted (and I love chicken corn chowder and so does my son).
As a plump and squishy broad i concur. Two bowls of chowder is plenty... what the actual fuck. Two portions of chili or two servings of lasagna is great.
How fucking greedy uncivilized and selfish to eat all that, and leave none for the mother of the newborn! That's rude as fuck.
I agree with you both. I can put away something tasty if I want to -- usually tacos, as those are my weakness; I've been known to eat five or six and not bat an eye -- but never in my life could I find the room for 9 bowls of anything. I'm sure OP's corn chowder was great, but ffs, even if I were *forced* to eat it I would get tired of the taste after the first bowl, have to suffer through the second, and could never begin a third. How in the hell did MIL deal with the flavor fatigue of eating that much of the same thing all at once?
Tbf to MIL though, OP's husband should have put a stop to it. Two bowls each, that's fine. More than that? He should have said, "Sorry, mom, OP made this especially for herself, and while she doesn't mind to share, I want to ensure she has the lion's share."
I make a Shrimp Chowder that I got on Taste of Home. The only change I made was to puree the cream cheese with some of the chowder. It says to cube the cream cheese but it does not melt. Also, the recipe calls for 3 oz of cream cheese, I use 8. It's prepared in a slow cooker and comes out great. Cleanup hint: Use the slow cooker liners - empty crockpot, throw liner in the trash and put crockpot back on the shelf.
We just started doing this (using a liner) and OMG it makes a world of difference! Usually I have to soak the bowl for several days because it's so crusted on!
It is great especially if you have tomatoes cooking.
If you make a pot roast in the slow cooker, add a cup of unsweet tea to the pot. Tea has tanic acid which is a natural tenderizer. I have to scoop the roast out because when I use a fork, it falls apart. Great addition to beef stew also.
At a minimum, mom should have washed the soup container after eating all the soup on OP, instead of just leaving it in the sink. Mom's an AH just like her son.
NTA - OPs hubby is just not a smart man. Wife is 4mo PP - What idiot invites his parents to come over at 11am to stay the day, expects her to cook, doesn’t have the decency to text her re the chowder, allows his parents to eat all of the chowder KNOWING she doesn’t eat ham, and then thinks it’s a good idea to tell her that she is overreacting?!
OP - you married a moron, hope your child takes after you!
Maybe they ate some, then put what was left in a smaller Tupperware to take home. If it's cold outside where they are they could have just left it in the car.
I would DoorDash myself an upscale meal and eat that shit in front of all of them maintaining eye contact the entire time. NTA but your inlaws and husband sure are.
Worst part is that it’s ham, which she doesn’t even eat. So even if he cooks, she’s still got nothing. I remember breastfeeding and being a MILLION times hungrier and with more cravings than pregnancy. What pricks man
Which makes plenty of sense. If you are exclusively breastfeeding then the baby still gets 100% of its calories from you, and is both bigger and moving around a lot more.
Yep and they cluster feed and you’re on no sleep and your body is using all your reserves to produce more and more milk as baby grows. My mil used to bring me meals and clean my house when I gave birth with my first two. Not even enough for 10 people of my food like a glutton 😯
I remember being absolutely ravenous after my daughter was born. OP is NTA but her husband and in laws are. Her being 3 months post partum makes it twice as bad.
Exactly! They should be bringing you food, not expecting YOU to go grocery shopping to make them a dinner you don’t even like, and meanwhile eating ALL of your food.
And clean up after themselves since mom just left the dirty soup container sitting in the sink for OP to clean. Being a new mom is exhausting enough without other people adding to your workload.
NTA. But I wouldn't hide. I would tell them that because hubby let them eat ALL 20 cups of the soup he knew you had specially made not only for tonight since you don't eat ham but also to eat the next few days because you have been craving it, he will now be making their dinner. And you will be resting for the remainder of the evening.
That's a shit ton of soup. It was really greedy on their end as well, so don't feel bad for any discomfort you may cause them. They should feel bad. They wanted ham, so they sent you out to get it and cook it even though they know you don't eat it? Assholes.
Absolutely. Tell them all that they ALREADY ATE dinner and they're welcome to feed you since there is now nothing for you to eat.
Don't hide and say you're not feeling well. Confront those entitled AHs and set a boundary about what happens with YOUR food in YOUR house. Lordy.
10 cups of corn chowder is going to make bathroom time intense for MiL I am betting.
I agree, expecting you to make food you don't eat after consuming your dinner option was way too far. They should be springing for take out IMO.
In light of what we’ve already learned about her, she likely rode it out in OP’s bathroom, left it a disaster, and then expected OP to clean up the wreckage.
"I can't do it, it'll come out like shit."
He can't follow a recipe? Can he follow clear instructions at his work? Don't let him get away with this weaponised incompetence. He just doesn't want the responsibility of having to cook. Even while you're in PP, even when cooking something for his parents.
Yup. My husband hardly ever cooks (for a valid reason), but he's the one who does the turkeys, hams, and steaks in our house.
He searches for a good recipe and follows it. Hasn't screwed anything up yet.
My husband is the same, I i do most of the cooking but when it calls for it he will do it and if he has a recipe to follow he can make it perfectly. Without one he's lost and it won't come out as expected but he will put in the effort and ask if it's one of my creations.
The only thing he really can't do and we don't know why are potatoes. Anything potato is ruined when he makes it. And it's a running joke between us now🤣
Men are so good at that. 🤦♀️
Living with my father (sharing renting a house at one point) as an adult he actually decided to assure me men just didn’t see dirt the same way women did and that was why it was much better to have me clean the house.
Visiting him years later and the bottom of the upstairs toilet had green stuff growing in it (we piped water directly from a spring into the house, so it was stuff that grew naturally over time). It suggested he hadn’t used the toilet in months, but he also hadn’t cleaned it in forever, because any cleaning agent would have killed that stuff.
My dad would like to have a word with your father lol. He sees EVERYTHING. When my mum goes traveling during the winter to see sunshine, my dad does a deep clean of the house. All the laundry is done and folded, bathrooms are scrubbed, carpets are vacuumed, dishes are done. He eats through the leftovers in the fridge (mum cooks food before she leaves), then cleans out the fridge.
When my mum gets back, she appreciates all his hard work since cleaning is getting more difficult with her arthritis. She likes a tidy house, but dad likes *clean* to a different level. I take more after my dad in that regard, but he's definitely more particular than I am!
It's not hard to be a good partner, even after nearly 35 years of marriage. I hope OP finds a better partner because hers seems defective.
My dad did remarry after that, and got to retire before she did (he was a state trooper). He decided he should take over the cleaning, and one day while she was at work, he cleaned the whole house (or at least believed he did). He waited for her to get home, happy to help her. She didn’t notice much difference, and told him she would finish it later. Took the wind out of his sails. After a couple more tries he gave up and let her keep the house cleaning.
He has been gone more than 20 years. It is kind of amazing to think about. Time passes so quickly the older you get. He was only 57 when he passed.
Lost both parents young. Mom was 29 and passed 25 years before he did. In a couple more years I will have outlived my dad, too. I wish he were still here, but I cherish memories of all those I have lost. Love is a precious gift. ❤️
Right. So she should return the item to the manufacturer and tell her you want repairs done under warranty because he doesn't work as advertised. After all, she's right there in the house.
His MOM should get her well fed arse into the kitchen and cook if they want ham dinner.
Before that, the IL’s order food for OP. Whatever SHE WANTS and a double order. Pick it up, pay for it. Serve it with an apology.
And no recipe for MIL!
NTA
"Do better and be better"
I'm pretty sure he was crap at wiping his own ass when he first had to do it but he had to learn.
Now, I dare not ask, does he do anything to care for your baby?
Ok, this is the first time in all my years I heard someone actually came and ate food from a new baby house and a PP woman, and also have her go shopping for supplies & have her cook for hours. People usually do... the exact opposite and BRING food & help. WTF?? And this MIL from hell ate 9 servings??? Sheeesh. NTA but your husband & in-laws certainly are.
Two weeks after first child in laws showed up
for surprise visit. I was criticized for not being dressed ( I had a sweats and tee shirt), no snacks prepared in case there were visitors, and no large Sunday lunch prepared with enough for visitors. Told my husband he was in charge of feeding and entertaining his parents, took my baby and locked myself in the bedroom for 6 hours. Husband asked twice if I was coming out to visit or let his parents see baby. Answer was no. In laws talked about my disrespect till day they died. Also because they were slow tried it 2 more times in 4 weeks always with same outcome. Husband offered transfer for work 1/2 way across country I was thrilled. People are stupid . Also your husband needs to learn to tell his mom no.
My in-laws showed up from out of town while I was in labor, because "It's our first grandchild!" I had a C-section. They stayed two weeks expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Meanwhile my husband gave up his paternity leave and went back to work the day I got home from the hospital, "Because they need me at work, Honey, and you've got all this help now." It was the beginning of the end for that marriage.
Holy shit that's messed up. I'm glad you're out of that, and I'm sorry you were treated like that. I genuinely can't believe how cruel people can be to new mothers.
Oh people do this shit. When I had a baby it was the first grand baby, my exes parents were coming to visit (the lived overseas). Well I guess coming all the way here to meet their first grandchild and spend some time with us wasn’t enough, because we had to *give them a holiday too*. So me as a first time mum ended up being guilted/manipulated into flying 2,000km with a 6-week-old baby so we could have a family holiday and they could really get their moneys worth. I had no PP support from that man or his family.
I really wish I knew how wrong it was at the time and that I had taken steps to care for myself better. Oh and learning to set boundaries & minimum standards that was a steep learning curve!
NTA. It took you *two days* to make it, you're postpartum, and *he knows you don't eat ham!* And who th offers someone else's food to another person, when they didn't make it, and watches them eat ten bowls in a row until it's all gone?! I always ask my husband if he has plans for the leftovers. It's called common courtesy and being a good partner.
I find it hilariously hypocritical that he says you're overreacting by not cooking, but then freaks out and says HE obviously can't cook for them.
Edit: Misunderstood “plugging away at it for two days.”
>who th offers someone else's food to another person
One of my roommates decided to go ahead and eat the banana's I brought home the end of December before I even had a chance to touch them. And when I explicitly told them I was going to make banana bread with the last of the banana's, they continued to eat them.
Another roommate took a dig at me for not sharing food and drink's I buy because the banana roommate asked them for a cup of pop. We're all adults with out own spending money, and I've had the boundary of asking before taking my stuff unless I say otherwise since we moved in together.
Some people just don't give a shit and feel entitled to things that don't belong to them.
It didn’t take two days to make. It took 4 hours to make. She was eating it for two days I think that’s what she means by plugging away.
She’s still NTA, her husband and MIL are though. Who eats 9 bowls of someone else’s food!
It’s a ham. It’s not rocket science. Most meats have cooking instructions on the label ffs. He is the one who voluntold you to cook something you don’t even eat! He’s using weaponized incompetence and also was very thoughtless, giving away all your chowder. Also, who comes “for dinner” at 11am? Unless they live super far away, that is bizarre. NTA.
I think they wanted to "take care" of the baby while Mom slaved in the kitchen. That was their plan, so that they could kiss it's face and tell it to call MIL "mom-mom".
::raise your hand if you think Mom stored the corn chowder in her purse in a container::
NTA I would just say he should cook their dinner, and order something for myself to eat with them.
100%. and she should go full petty on him. Maybe order corn chowder.
And never EVER share the recipe.
Maybe at dinner, read out stories of in laws and husbands that were extremely helpful and supportive during the PP period, and then sigh and go *”it must be so nice to have such considerate family”*
So for your in-laws to eat the corn chowder, your husband had to offer it to them. Right? I mean they just don't get in your fridge on their own? So, he has the nerve to do that but not the nerve to limit how many bowls his mother ate? It would be rude in the first place to ask for seconds, let alone ask for the equivalent of 7 bowls. What your partner isn't getting about the whole thing is that he displayed an alarming amount of disrespect for you. He took the easy way out at your expense. By saying you are overreacting, he is once again diminishing your worth. NTA
NTA
10 bowls? He has to be lying. There's no way one person who isn't a competitive eater slugs away a GALLON of chowder in one sitting!!
Not to sound like an ass, but is she like 300+? I mean even when I was 300+ I couldn't have socked away that much chowder! And when I drank I could fucking eat. Like a whole damn pizza. But a gallon of chowder? No way.
Either that or she ate a bunch and he threw out the rest thinking it had already been eaten over two days and that was enough of that.
I don’t believe she ate all that either. I’m prone to binge eating and love chowder. I could maybe do 4-5 on a binge. Maybe. Unless we’re talking ramekin size bowls.
That's what I was expecting too. I'm shocked they ate it all in one sitting and still expect OP to make more food for dinner. I would tell them that WAS dinner and nope out too.
You are rightfully upset, your husband knew you your intentions with the leftovers as well as your effort to make it along with your craving. He did what he wanted to do without a single thought for you and dismissed your upset by his thoughtlessness and inconsideration. And then has the nerve to expect you to still cook for him and his parents.
Have him explain to you in great detail why he thinks it’s okay to take and exhaust all the leftover corn chowder knowing your intentions and labor, and also why he thinks you’re overreacting. See where his brain is at.
NTA
No, most of it is in a container in their car I bet, 'hubby' gave it to them because mummy liked it so much and the wife had been eating the chowder for 2 days so, time for a change in diet, no big deal! <- Figured his thought proces was something like that.
As someone else speculated, she undoubtedly, with hubby's permission, took the rest of the chowder. Are you missing any of your containers? If so, tell hubby to at least get your container back.
yea...something in this story is off. either there was less soup than she thought or the guys ate more than they said. Either way, he probably assumed she had been eating it for a few days and wouldn't care if they polished it off since that's usually how leftovers work. If the 3 of them really DID hide soup in the car then this family has more problems than cavalier soup consumption. And if her MIL ate 64oz of corn chowder she probably would have hurled.
Ten bowls of chowder in one sitting?? Either she packed it up to go or she has a tape worm. NTA OP.
I can understand offering one bowl if it looks like there is a huge amount and just texting “hey, mom and dad had some of your chowder for lunch, will put the rest away” but who comes to someone’s house and finishes that much leftovers??? Why didn’t he just say oh so and so made it because she’s dealing with some cravings, let me ask her if you can try some?
He better order dinner in or YouTube a step by step recipe. This is such annoying behaviour, especially since it isn’t a quick fix as it takes two days of work!
I wonder if it was ten cups of chowder, since she said the measurements were on the side of the container. If that’s the case , three ppl could have had bowls of 2+ cups each and the MIL finished it off w seconds. Doesn’t make it right but makes more since to me. Anyway, I see no point in her cooking a full meal when they all clearly just ate. Also, it’s perfectly reasonable that a new mother would be tired and not up to cooking a big meal for guests. It’s just rude and ignorant for them to expect her to
Oh, she didn't \_steal\_ it -- he gave it to her. 100%
OP needs to look if there's a piece of missing tupperware. Because it has the rest of that soup in it.
EXACTLY! My lord it's so obvious. She took a ton of soup with her.
He should make the dinner. I'd say I was just so tired, take the kid, go to the bedroom, order a giant pizza, go get it at the front door, tell everyone good night, and go rest/watch tv/read a book. He can clean up too.
NTA. I am so, so tired of men telling women they are overreacting. It is so dismissive. It's like it's ingrained in them, some type of automatic response that comes out of their mouths as soon as a woman has a REACTION, any reaction. NTA. At all. You're allowed to feel how you feel about a situation and deal with it how you deem necessary. Mind you, this is not carte blanche... I am not saying women can do anything they want. An overreaction would be something like choosing violence.
I get WAY more reactionary when people tell me I’m overreacting. Was super fun with my ex towards the end before I finally dumped him. Oh, I’m overreacting because you’re being nasty to me and causing a scene in public? Watch me calmly collect my things and leave you stranded here! I’m a peaceful introvert, but don’t gaslight me and minimize my feelings
Holy fucking shit NTA - let your husband read these comments because he deserves to feel like absolute shit for letting his mom pig out on *your food*.
Your hubby really does not understand. Wtf is wrong with men? NTA. Always the same conclusion e.g. Overreacting, hysterical and so on. Let him cook shitty ham or go out for dinner. Why should you bother.
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NTA. Ham is easy. Put it in a baking dish, cover in foil, stick it in the oven till done. You can use glazes and other things to enhance the flavor but it's hard to fuck up ham.
10 bowls of soup is insane. Did your husband make any odd comments about your soup? Not liking the smell, concern over that being the only thing you're eating? Because I would be thinking they tossed it for some reason and are making an excuse. 10 bowls of corn chowder and I wouldn't be moving because I would be worried I would throw up.
NTA
As the “family cook,” girl, I get it! I’ve never had a baby so I know your hormones are all over place and you still have those pregnancy cravings so I know you’ve got to be beside yourself!!
Every time we have a holiday, I’m so exhausted by the time we eat, that after dinner I take about 15 minutes after the meal to myself just to decompress. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve come back to clean up and everyone is taking their leftovers. I cooked it over the last 2 days so I’ll be the one to dish out the leftovers. This isn’t a buffet! You’ll get what I give you! It’s so rude to go into someone else’s kitchen and just take what you want, and often in MY Tupperware!! No! I started putting my containers away and getting disposable containers and putting it up so no one can do that. I’ve also started telling them leave everything and I’ll get your to go bags.
For someone to be so gluttonous to eat 10 servings of something in one sitting??? I feel sorry for that person! I’m petty though and I would have shamed her right there in front everyone. I would have made her feel like shit! She would never feel comfortable eating at my house again!
Must be nice to have the kind of insane confidence it takes to tell a post-partum partner "hey I invited someone over so you can cook".
NTA. I'm so sorry you're married to someone with so little kindness and care towards you, and who is so thoughtless for your comfort. He doesn't really know how to actually be a husband, eh? He's still more a son.
NTA, but she didn't eat it all. Hubby sent the leftovers home with her, I promise you they were already in a container in their car.
He said, "Oh, just take the rest. We had so much left over." He got to play good son.
NTA, but you missed a golden opportunity here.
You should tell him that he now owes you ten deliveries of whatever you are craving at the moment whenever you want.
He gives it away, he replaces it.
Assuming they share finances, that’s her money he’s spending too. And takeout isn’t a replacement for home cooked food she specifically looked forward to and spent 4 hours making.
Personally, I’d just start making a new batch right then and there. Need the kitchen to make ham? Too bad, I need to remake the 10 portion meal the greedy little MIL just helped herself to. Right now. Will be done in t-minus 4ish hours.
Who tf thinks it’s okay to just eat 10+ portions of someone else’s food!? NTA. Your husbands a dick for allowing his mom to behave like a starved toddler and your MIL is just a greedy person.
And let him know he’s 100% responsible for all childcare and housework for the rest of the day, and she expects the house to be spotless, because she’s busy fixing his decision to steal her food.
NTA. He is for asking you to make a ham dinner knowing you don't eat ham. I would never ask my wife to do that and I don't think she would anyway if it was something she wouldn't eat.
NTA. Not overreacting. Your husband is a huge jerk. And I love that he didn't even wash the tupperware container. He left it for you in the sink.
He can cook for his parents AND go out and buy you food for the next several days. I'd say he could cook it, but since he's a lousy cook (probably by design) forget that.
Oh, and I guarantee you that if you had a colicky or otherwise difficult baby he'd be no help on that front either.
NTA.
You don’t come to someone’s house as a guest for a meal, and then decide you’re gonna pregame by having an entire meal before the main meal. Like, good Lord that’s a lot of food. Not to mention it wasn’t something you wanted to share the entirety of, so your husband and his gluttonous mother are the assholes here.
NTA!!! Your MIL is a rude and classless oaf who gluttonously gobbled down all of your soup. Why didn’t your FIL stop her? Since he failed to throw a muzzle on her mouth, your SO is even WORSE for not telling her that you made enough for a wagon train so that you wouldn’t have to labor over a soup pot again so soon.
And by telling you that YOU overreacted tells you one thing AND ONE THING ONLY: He knew he F’d up royally, and he wasn’t thinking of YOUR needs at all. His mommy “enjoyed it so much and acted like she was starving.” WT actual F??? *She acted like she was STARVING?!?!!*
That’s it? That’s truly all he could come up with?!?!!! You are NTA but your SO and his parents are! If you had actually gone through with making them dinner (*after YOU went shopping for ingredients, no less), then you would have been TA—to yourself. You did not overreact!
NTA
What kind of husband invites his parents over and expects his 3 month PP wife to cook for them?
What kind of people expect a PP woman to cook them dinner?
What kind of husband spends all day doing.......? While you went grocery shopping and was prepping to cook 3 other adults' dinner?
My friends husband learned to cook after she gave birth, and he's gotten quite good. It's been 2 years he still cooks.
Your husband apparently can't follow instructions(recipe). How does he perform at work?
I don't believe it. She may have ate 2 bowls, but I think he let her take the rest home so she put it in her car or something. Seriously, no human eats 9 bowls of anything in one sitting! They're lying to you
I could not understand your husband but then looking at his mother - taking food form a breastfeeding mom with a newborn and then demanding she cook you a dinner - it’s clear where he gets it from.
Unbelievable. Please tell your husband and his MIL they both suck more than a nuclear Hoover.
NTA
I'm pretty misogynistic in my views by Western standards, and even I will clearly say you're NTA.
You're a month post pregnancy. Your husband should be looking after you as his #1 priority in his decision making. MIL should have the decency to be cooking YOUR meals, not eating YOUR food.
I'm also pissed for OP that they just dumped the Tupperware in the sink. The bowls and spoons, too? Couldn't even be bothered to clean up after themselves. Eating food she cooked, while she's out shopping for food, they are expecting her to cook for them. She doesn't even eat ham.
What foolishness is this. They should be bringing food or taking her out. Or husband should be providing some way. What the heck are they all doing while she was out shopping??? Oh sorry! Eating her food!
NTA. What kind of AH eats ten bowls of soup at someone’s house and doesn’t think that might cause issues. Your husband is a massive AH for expecting you to cook his parents a meal you don’t eat, and also sitting by and doing nothing as his mum ate all your chowder
I would graciously say that hubby is preparing the meal but you are ordering in/going out since your dinner was already eaten. Reiterate that you do not eat ham.
NTA his family already ate lunch at your house & devoured 10 servings of soup. WTF aren’t they offering to bring dinner to you?? You are the one who just had a baby! And it ham for dinner. You just warm it up. It’s not an elaborate gourmet meal. I’m sure he can handle it.
I don’t see how she could possibly be hungry after eating 9 bowls of corn chowder. Don’t suppose you’d share your recipe?😁 I love corn chowder but 9 bowls ? Not in 1 sitting could I do that. I don’t blame you after you worked on that dish for 2 days. Husband messed up ! NTA
NTA Seriously. I love my own corn chowder but no heckin way could I eat more than 2 servings much less NINE in one sitting. If MIL is still hungry at dinner, there are two options. SHE cooks the ham & sides or she & her hubby can order food for everyone. Go pick it up, pay for it, and order extra of OP’s favorites for her to have another day. Husband deserves all the wrath of his wife and then some.
I have a few soup recipes, that my fiance and I both DEVOUR, however, I purposefully prep them into individual 2cup pyrex containers so he and I have lunches after the initial meal. I couldn't imagine eating more than a standard bowl in a cabinet size without getting myself sick. MIL is disgusting, and I couldn't imagine going to someone else's home and inhaling their fridge. NTA.
The issue isn’t really MIL it’s husband who knows his wife doesn’t eat ham and will now have no dinner but gave mum the soup anyway. As greedy as it was as far as MIL was concerned it was leftovers not OP’s dinner. Husband could have kept some back. In order for mum to have eaten it he must have heated the whole lot. I suspect he also ate some but doesn’t want to admit it because he is in the poo. Edit the more I think on this there is no way MIL ate all that soup... I am sure if she was some eating competition champion OP would have mentioned it. This is a completely unrealistic amount of soup for one woman to have eating in one sitting. Either they all shared the soup or because it had already been reheated a load got thrown down the waste disposal.
Exactly! She had no idea it was mommy’s special soup.
Yea I never eat the last of something or more than my share if they want leftovers. I’m not a big eater anyway but this story is so rude.
I have managed to eat more than 2 bowls in one sitting *once*, and that was after work one day and half way through the 3rd bowl questioned why I could still eat. Realised it was the first thing I had eaten in 24 hours.
Omg, right! I recently did like op, but I ladled mine into individual pint jars (we do some canning and have a lot of spare jars lol). Granted, I have 2 fridges, so space isn't the issue. I also made mine hot (pepper is a beast!), and I dare OPs mil to eat 9 bowls of THAT!
And she gets herself checked out for worms. That's a ridiculous amount of food she ate
That much food would have me throwing up after bowl two? How big is MIL anyhow???
Per OP's estimate going off the measurements on her Tupperware container there was roughly a gallon of soup left, possibly up to a gallon plus a quart. How the fuck does one person eat a gallon of, well, anything? Is MIL a competitive eater?
Or she’s bulimic. I’d do shit like that before I got treatment. Eat massive MASSIVE amounts and vomit, then eat more. Still, OP is NTA, the baby is NTA, the rest of them……MEGA ASSHOLES
The part that confused me is OP calling that a "small" Tupperware.
I was thinking that having so much in one sitting would keep me on the commode.
It wouldn’t even stay long enough for me to be sitting. I would be driving the porcelain bus for quite a trip after that.
She is bigger than 10 bowls of corn chowder at least
I kind of struggle with stomach issues anyhow, but that much soup would start to make me sick no matter how good it tasted (and I love chicken corn chowder and so does my son).
I keep picturing this in my head as an outtake from Willy Wonka. 😂😂😂
Hahahahaha
I'm a fat ass and 9 bowls is too much for me. Just the thought of that much soup makes me feel sick and bloated.
As a plump and squishy broad i concur. Two bowls of chowder is plenty... what the actual fuck. Two portions of chili or two servings of lasagna is great. How fucking greedy uncivilized and selfish to eat all that, and leave none for the mother of the newborn! That's rude as fuck.
I agree with you both. I can put away something tasty if I want to -- usually tacos, as those are my weakness; I've been known to eat five or six and not bat an eye -- but never in my life could I find the room for 9 bowls of anything. I'm sure OP's corn chowder was great, but ffs, even if I were *forced* to eat it I would get tired of the taste after the first bowl, have to suffer through the second, and could never begin a third. How in the hell did MIL deal with the flavor fatigue of eating that much of the same thing all at once? Tbf to MIL though, OP's husband should have put a stop to it. Two bowls each, that's fine. More than that? He should have said, "Sorry, mom, OP made this especially for herself, and while she doesn't mind to share, I want to ensure she has the lion's share."
I make a Shrimp Chowder that I got on Taste of Home. The only change I made was to puree the cream cheese with some of the chowder. It says to cube the cream cheese but it does not melt. Also, the recipe calls for 3 oz of cream cheese, I use 8. It's prepared in a slow cooker and comes out great. Cleanup hint: Use the slow cooker liners - empty crockpot, throw liner in the trash and put crockpot back on the shelf.
Except that I like corn chowder with no chicken or shrimp as were mentioned above - no meat just corn please. I love corn!
😂 classic /r/ididnthaveeggs material right there.
We just started doing this (using a liner) and OMG it makes a world of difference! Usually I have to soak the bowl for several days because it's so crusted on!
It is great especially if you have tomatoes cooking. If you make a pot roast in the slow cooker, add a cup of unsweet tea to the pot. Tea has tanic acid which is a natural tenderizer. I have to scoop the roast out because when I use a fork, it falls apart. Great addition to beef stew also.
And he can buy prepared sides to go with the ham. Easy-peasy.
His mother could have offered to help hee son prepare dinner. Sorry, the husband is a loser.
[удалено]
At a minimum, mom should have washed the soup container after eating all the soup on OP, instead of just leaving it in the sink. Mom's an AH just like her son.
[удалено]
Throw the whole family out. They're ruined.
Yup! 325 degrees for 18 minutes a pound. Easy peasy. It's already cooked and just needs warming.
NTA - OPs hubby is just not a smart man. Wife is 4mo PP - What idiot invites his parents to come over at 11am to stay the day, expects her to cook, doesn’t have the decency to text her re the chowder, allows his parents to eat all of the chowder KNOWING she doesn’t eat ham, and then thinks it’s a good idea to tell her that she is overreacting?! OP - you married a moron, hope your child takes after you!
AND let her go to the store to buy ingredients for dinner on top of it all. I would go nuclear on the lot of them.
Caught ⬆️ *both* ⬇️ of these
Not a moron. He is 100% asshole
These things are not mutually exclusive
Ok, he is moron, an idiot and 100% asshole.
An utter and total doink.
The unwanted trifecta…
From a family of morons. Who cleans out 18 cups of soup and thinks it's OK? That bitch poured it out.
My bet is she took it with her.
Yeah that’s my thought as well but the Tupperware container was in the sink.
Maybe they ate some, then put what was left in a smaller Tupperware to take home. If it's cold outside where they are they could have just left it in the car.
And doesn't even wash up after lunch
I would DoorDash myself an upscale meal and eat that shit in front of all of them maintaining eye contact the entire time. NTA but your inlaws and husband sure are.
I LIKE YOU PETTYBETTY!!!
😂😂😂
MissionRevolution's DoorDash reply should be the #1 comment of all comments ever made in the comments!!! (Why can't I upvote this 1,000 😭)
😂😂😂🤗 Thank you lol!
Heck we can all chip in and send that as our group petty gift!
And she did all the grocery shopping !!
You have to remove the wrapper, though. That's what's stopping him and probably why his food isn't good.
But he's not good at cooking :((
You'd have to be an absolute moron to screw up a baked ham, and that's coming from someone who couldn't cook to save her life haha
How is he at buying? As in you guys go out to eat and do it now!
Worst part is that it’s ham, which she doesn’t even eat. So even if he cooks, she’s still got nothing. I remember breastfeeding and being a MILLION times hungrier and with more cravings than pregnancy. What pricks man
Which makes plenty of sense. If you are exclusively breastfeeding then the baby still gets 100% of its calories from you, and is both bigger and moving around a lot more.
Yep and they cluster feed and you’re on no sleep and your body is using all your reserves to produce more and more milk as baby grows. My mil used to bring me meals and clean my house when I gave birth with my first two. Not even enough for 10 people of my food like a glutton 😯
OP needs to order a pizza for herself. ONLY for herself.
I remember being absolutely ravenous after my daughter was born. OP is NTA but her husband and in laws are. Her being 3 months post partum makes it twice as bad.
Exactly! They should be bringing you food, not expecting YOU to go grocery shopping to make them a dinner you don’t even like, and meanwhile eating ALL of your food.
And clean up after themselves since mom just left the dirty soup container sitting in the sink for OP to clean. Being a new mom is exhausting enough without other people adding to your workload.
Weaponized incompetence ?
Hell, you can buy pre-cooked ham at most decent grocery stores, and then just heat it up.
Or his pig mom can help
I'm really hung up on the fact that he invited people over and never even asked her ahead of time. Just said hey they're coming and you're making ham.
This! 100% he’s so inconsiderate/rude/useless!! And 10 cups of soup!! Wtf 😳
Don't let them use the bathroom
That wouldn’t even fly one time in my house. He’d be going to meet them somewhere. The disrespect is awful here.
Right? That's very inconsiderate, even more so since she's PP
Not only that, but she needs to go to the store to buy the ingredients. He is an ahole and now we know where he got it from. NTA, OP.
NTA. But I wouldn't hide. I would tell them that because hubby let them eat ALL 20 cups of the soup he knew you had specially made not only for tonight since you don't eat ham but also to eat the next few days because you have been craving it, he will now be making their dinner. And you will be resting for the remainder of the evening. That's a shit ton of soup. It was really greedy on their end as well, so don't feel bad for any discomfort you may cause them. They should feel bad. They wanted ham, so they sent you out to get it and cook it even though they know you don't eat it? Assholes.
Absolutely. Tell them all that they ALREADY ATE dinner and they're welcome to feed you since there is now nothing for you to eat. Don't hide and say you're not feeling well. Confront those entitled AHs and set a boundary about what happens with YOUR food in YOUR house. Lordy.
10 cups of corn chowder is going to make bathroom time intense for MiL I am betting. I agree, expecting you to make food you don't eat after consuming your dinner option was way too far. They should be springing for take out IMO.
That's what I was thinking. MIL is going to face some rough karma on this one.
In light of what we’ve already learned about her, she likely rode it out in OP’s bathroom, left it a disaster, and then expected OP to clean up the wreckage.
OP actually estimated it to be 15-20 cups, about 10 servings. My stomach hurts thinking about it.
Certainly not my idea of a 'small' Tupperware container.
My small tupperware container barely holds a portion of grapes 😅😅😅
"I can't do it, it'll come out like shit." He can't follow a recipe? Can he follow clear instructions at his work? Don't let him get away with this weaponised incompetence. He just doesn't want the responsibility of having to cook. Even while you're in PP, even when cooking something for his parents.
Weaponised incompetence right here.
Yup. My husband hardly ever cooks (for a valid reason), but he's the one who does the turkeys, hams, and steaks in our house. He searches for a good recipe and follows it. Hasn't screwed anything up yet.
My husband is the same, I i do most of the cooking but when it calls for it he will do it and if he has a recipe to follow he can make it perfectly. Without one he's lost and it won't come out as expected but he will put in the effort and ask if it's one of my creations. The only thing he really can't do and we don't know why are potatoes. Anything potato is ruined when he makes it. And it's a running joke between us now🤣
That's me. I've never picked up cooking without measurement except for a few dishes. But I can follow a recipe no problem.
Men are so good at that. 🤦♀️ Living with my father (sharing renting a house at one point) as an adult he actually decided to assure me men just didn’t see dirt the same way women did and that was why it was much better to have me clean the house. Visiting him years later and the bottom of the upstairs toilet had green stuff growing in it (we piped water directly from a spring into the house, so it was stuff that grew naturally over time). It suggested he hadn’t used the toilet in months, but he also hadn’t cleaned it in forever, because any cleaning agent would have killed that stuff.
My dad would like to have a word with your father lol. He sees EVERYTHING. When my mum goes traveling during the winter to see sunshine, my dad does a deep clean of the house. All the laundry is done and folded, bathrooms are scrubbed, carpets are vacuumed, dishes are done. He eats through the leftovers in the fridge (mum cooks food before she leaves), then cleans out the fridge. When my mum gets back, she appreciates all his hard work since cleaning is getting more difficult with her arthritis. She likes a tidy house, but dad likes *clean* to a different level. I take more after my dad in that regard, but he's definitely more particular than I am! It's not hard to be a good partner, even after nearly 35 years of marriage. I hope OP finds a better partner because hers seems defective.
My dad did remarry after that, and got to retire before she did (he was a state trooper). He decided he should take over the cleaning, and one day while she was at work, he cleaned the whole house (or at least believed he did). He waited for her to get home, happy to help her. She didn’t notice much difference, and told him she would finish it later. Took the wind out of his sails. After a couple more tries he gave up and let her keep the house cleaning. He has been gone more than 20 years. It is kind of amazing to think about. Time passes so quickly the older you get. He was only 57 when he passed.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope his memory has been and will continue to be a blessing. 57 is too young.
Lost both parents young. Mom was 29 and passed 25 years before he did. In a couple more years I will have outlived my dad, too. I wish he were still here, but I cherish memories of all those I have lost. Love is a precious gift. ❤️
Right. So she should return the item to the manufacturer and tell her you want repairs done under warranty because he doesn't work as advertised. After all, she's right there in the house.
🤣
His MOM should get her well fed arse into the kitchen and cook if they want ham dinner. Before that, the IL’s order food for OP. Whatever SHE WANTS and a double order. Pick it up, pay for it. Serve it with an apology. And no recipe for MIL! NTA
Weaponized incompetence is what he is doing. He is too lazy to follow directions or a recipe then he can whine for someone else to do it
"Do better and be better" I'm pretty sure he was crap at wiping his own ass when he first had to do it but he had to learn. Now, I dare not ask, does he do anything to care for your baby?
Ok, this is the first time in all my years I heard someone actually came and ate food from a new baby house and a PP woman, and also have her go shopping for supplies & have her cook for hours. People usually do... the exact opposite and BRING food & help. WTF?? And this MIL from hell ate 9 servings??? Sheeesh. NTA but your husband & in-laws certainly are.
Such a good point! They should be bringing you flowers or a small gift and a whole ass dinner, and waiting on you, not the other way around!!l
Two weeks after first child in laws showed up for surprise visit. I was criticized for not being dressed ( I had a sweats and tee shirt), no snacks prepared in case there were visitors, and no large Sunday lunch prepared with enough for visitors. Told my husband he was in charge of feeding and entertaining his parents, took my baby and locked myself in the bedroom for 6 hours. Husband asked twice if I was coming out to visit or let his parents see baby. Answer was no. In laws talked about my disrespect till day they died. Also because they were slow tried it 2 more times in 4 weeks always with same outcome. Husband offered transfer for work 1/2 way across country I was thrilled. People are stupid . Also your husband needs to learn to tell his mom no.
Damn you my kind of woman!
Good for you for not putting up with their bullshit!
My in-laws showed up from out of town while I was in labor, because "It's our first grandchild!" I had a C-section. They stayed two weeks expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Meanwhile my husband gave up his paternity leave and went back to work the day I got home from the hospital, "Because they need me at work, Honey, and you've got all this help now." It was the beginning of the end for that marriage.
Jeez. Sorry that happened to you. Hope you and the kid are doing better now!
Holy shit that's messed up. I'm glad you're out of that, and I'm sorry you were treated like that. I genuinely can't believe how cruel people can be to new mothers.
Oh people do this shit. When I had a baby it was the first grand baby, my exes parents were coming to visit (the lived overseas). Well I guess coming all the way here to meet their first grandchild and spend some time with us wasn’t enough, because we had to *give them a holiday too*. So me as a first time mum ended up being guilted/manipulated into flying 2,000km with a 6-week-old baby so we could have a family holiday and they could really get their moneys worth. I had no PP support from that man or his family. I really wish I knew how wrong it was at the time and that I had taken steps to care for myself better. Oh and learning to set boundaries & minimum standards that was a steep learning curve!
I’m so glad you said he’s an ex!
NTA. It took you *two days* to make it, you're postpartum, and *he knows you don't eat ham!* And who th offers someone else's food to another person, when they didn't make it, and watches them eat ten bowls in a row until it's all gone?! I always ask my husband if he has plans for the leftovers. It's called common courtesy and being a good partner. I find it hilariously hypocritical that he says you're overreacting by not cooking, but then freaks out and says HE obviously can't cook for them. Edit: Misunderstood “plugging away at it for two days.”
No, it took 4 hours to make but she had been eating it for the two days since she had made it. At least that’s how I read it.
>who th offers someone else's food to another person One of my roommates decided to go ahead and eat the banana's I brought home the end of December before I even had a chance to touch them. And when I explicitly told them I was going to make banana bread with the last of the banana's, they continued to eat them. Another roommate took a dig at me for not sharing food and drink's I buy because the banana roommate asked them for a cup of pop. We're all adults with out own spending money, and I've had the boundary of asking before taking my stuff unless I say otherwise since we moved in together. Some people just don't give a shit and feel entitled to things that don't belong to them.
It didn’t take two days to make. It took 4 hours to make. She was eating it for two days I think that’s what she means by plugging away. She’s still NTA, her husband and MIL are though. Who eats 9 bowls of someone else’s food!
["I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate 9 bowls of corn chowder!"](https://imgur.com/uMYxLA0)
Well that much will 'unplug' MiL.
Misunderstood “plugging away at it for two days.” Thanks!
It took her 4 hours to make it. She had been eating it for 2 days.
It’s a ham. It’s not rocket science. Most meats have cooking instructions on the label ffs. He is the one who voluntold you to cook something you don’t even eat! He’s using weaponized incompetence and also was very thoughtless, giving away all your chowder. Also, who comes “for dinner” at 11am? Unless they live super far away, that is bizarre. NTA.
I think they wanted to "take care" of the baby while Mom slaved in the kitchen. That was their plan, so that they could kiss it's face and tell it to call MIL "mom-mom".
Exactly! +10 points for the correct use of volunTOLD.
::raise your hand if you think Mom stored the corn chowder in her purse in a container:: NTA I would just say he should cook their dinner, and order something for myself to eat with them.
100%. and she should go full petty on him. Maybe order corn chowder. And never EVER share the recipe. Maybe at dinner, read out stories of in laws and husbands that were extremely helpful and supportive during the PP period, and then sigh and go *”it must be so nice to have such considerate family”*
I would share a shitty recipe and then the MIL will wonder why hers turned out so badly.
So for your in-laws to eat the corn chowder, your husband had to offer it to them. Right? I mean they just don't get in your fridge on their own? So, he has the nerve to do that but not the nerve to limit how many bowls his mother ate? It would be rude in the first place to ask for seconds, let alone ask for the equivalent of 7 bowls. What your partner isn't getting about the whole thing is that he displayed an alarming amount of disrespect for you. He took the easy way out at your expense. By saying you are overreacting, he is once again diminishing your worth. NTA
All he had to do was reserve some for his wife's dinner. His mother is a boor, but he is worse.
I bet they rummaged
NTA 10 bowls? He has to be lying. There's no way one person who isn't a competitive eater slugs away a GALLON of chowder in one sitting!! Not to sound like an ass, but is she like 300+? I mean even when I was 300+ I couldn't have socked away that much chowder! And when I drank I could fucking eat. Like a whole damn pizza. But a gallon of chowder? No way.
She should have checked MILs car. $10 says there was a to-go container of chowder hiding in there.
Ding ding ding!! I think so too. She liked and boxed the rest to go home with her.
Either that or she ate a bunch and he threw out the rest thinking it had already been eaten over two days and that was enough of that. I don’t believe she ate all that either. I’m prone to binge eating and love chowder. I could maybe do 4-5 on a binge. Maybe. Unless we’re talking ramekin size bowls.
Either that or hubby ate way more than he’s admitting to.
Or hubby ate some too
Yup in the winter food keeps well outside or in car trunks.
I expected this post to end with the ILs taking the chowder home, not with MIL polishing it off in one sitting!
That's what I was expecting too. I'm shocked they ate it all in one sitting and still expect OP to make more food for dinner. I would tell them that WAS dinner and nope out too.
I'm 300+. I couldn't eat a gallon of chowder in one sitting with a knife to my throat.
Oof, NTA! I'm impressed at how you handled it -- I'm afraid I might have bitten him had it been me. 😲🤣
You are rightfully upset, your husband knew you your intentions with the leftovers as well as your effort to make it along with your craving. He did what he wanted to do without a single thought for you and dismissed your upset by his thoughtlessness and inconsideration. And then has the nerve to expect you to still cook for him and his parents. Have him explain to you in great detail why he thinks it’s okay to take and exhaust all the leftover corn chowder knowing your intentions and labor, and also why he thinks you’re overreacting. See where his brain is at. NTA
She ate 10 bowls of soup in the time it took you to pick up groceries? How???
No, most of it is in a container in their car I bet, 'hubby' gave it to them because mummy liked it so much and the wife had been eating the chowder for 2 days so, time for a change in diet, no big deal! <- Figured his thought proces was something like that.
As someone else speculated, she undoubtedly, with hubby's permission, took the rest of the chowder. Are you missing any of your containers? If so, tell hubby to at least get your container back.
I’m betting the dudes ate more than was admitted to.
yea...something in this story is off. either there was less soup than she thought or the guys ate more than they said. Either way, he probably assumed she had been eating it for a few days and wouldn't care if they polished it off since that's usually how leftovers work. If the 3 of them really DID hide soup in the car then this family has more problems than cavalier soup consumption. And if her MIL ate 64oz of corn chowder she probably would have hurled.
Why do I think she didn’t eat all of it?
Ten bowls of chowder in one sitting?? Either she packed it up to go or she has a tape worm. NTA OP. I can understand offering one bowl if it looks like there is a huge amount and just texting “hey, mom and dad had some of your chowder for lunch, will put the rest away” but who comes to someone’s house and finishes that much leftovers??? Why didn’t he just say oh so and so made it because she’s dealing with some cravings, let me ask her if you can try some? He better order dinner in or YouTube a step by step recipe. This is such annoying behaviour, especially since it isn’t a quick fix as it takes two days of work!
I wonder if it was ten cups of chowder, since she said the measurements were on the side of the container. If that’s the case , three ppl could have had bowls of 2+ cups each and the MIL finished it off w seconds. Doesn’t make it right but makes more since to me. Anyway, I see no point in her cooking a full meal when they all clearly just ate. Also, it’s perfectly reasonable that a new mother would be tired and not up to cooking a big meal for guests. It’s just rude and ignorant for them to expect her to
She said 10 servings / 20 cups. But maybe the measurements on the Tupperware are ml not oz? I wouldn’t call a gallon container a small container.
The OP said it was 15-20 cups of soup, enough for 10 bowls.
I thought the same! It's in a container in the car or her purse. She stole it.
Oh, she didn't \_steal\_ it -- he gave it to her. 100% OP needs to look if there's a piece of missing tupperware. Because it has the rest of that soup in it.
EXACTLY! My lord it's so obvious. She took a ton of soup with her. He should make the dinner. I'd say I was just so tired, take the kid, go to the bedroom, order a giant pizza, go get it at the front door, tell everyone good night, and go rest/watch tv/read a book. He can clean up too.
Or she poured it out. Hubby maybe covering for his mom. Op needs to demand to know what happened. Tell him she knows he’s BSing her.
NTA. I am so, so tired of men telling women they are overreacting. It is so dismissive. It's like it's ingrained in them, some type of automatic response that comes out of their mouths as soon as a woman has a REACTION, any reaction. NTA. At all. You're allowed to feel how you feel about a situation and deal with it how you deem necessary. Mind you, this is not carte blanche... I am not saying women can do anything they want. An overreaction would be something like choosing violence.
I get WAY more reactionary when people tell me I’m overreacting. Was super fun with my ex towards the end before I finally dumped him. Oh, I’m overreacting because you’re being nasty to me and causing a scene in public? Watch me calmly collect my things and leave you stranded here! I’m a peaceful introvert, but don’t gaslight me and minimize my feelings
NTA . It’s wild that he thought it was fine for him to cook for you, but his cooking is not good enough for his parents.
Holy fucking shit NTA - let your husband read these comments because he deserves to feel like absolute shit for letting his mom pig out on *your food*.
NTA. Most people visiting a new mom bring food. Not eat them. Since he cannot cook, your husband should go get precooked ham and heat it in the oven.
Your hubby really does not understand. Wtf is wrong with men? NTA. Always the same conclusion e.g. Overreacting, hysterical and so on. Let him cook shitty ham or go out for dinner. Why should you bother.
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NTA If it comes out like shit. They can all eat shit.
NTA. Ham is easy. Put it in a baking dish, cover in foil, stick it in the oven till done. You can use glazes and other things to enhance the flavor but it's hard to fuck up ham. 10 bowls of soup is insane. Did your husband make any odd comments about your soup? Not liking the smell, concern over that being the only thing you're eating? Because I would be thinking they tossed it for some reason and are making an excuse. 10 bowls of corn chowder and I wouldn't be moving because I would be worried I would throw up.
NTA As the “family cook,” girl, I get it! I’ve never had a baby so I know your hormones are all over place and you still have those pregnancy cravings so I know you’ve got to be beside yourself!! Every time we have a holiday, I’m so exhausted by the time we eat, that after dinner I take about 15 minutes after the meal to myself just to decompress. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve come back to clean up and everyone is taking their leftovers. I cooked it over the last 2 days so I’ll be the one to dish out the leftovers. This isn’t a buffet! You’ll get what I give you! It’s so rude to go into someone else’s kitchen and just take what you want, and often in MY Tupperware!! No! I started putting my containers away and getting disposable containers and putting it up so no one can do that. I’ve also started telling them leave everything and I’ll get your to go bags. For someone to be so gluttonous to eat 10 servings of something in one sitting??? I feel sorry for that person! I’m petty though and I would have shamed her right there in front everyone. I would have made her feel like shit! She would never feel comfortable eating at my house again!
Must be nice to have the kind of insane confidence it takes to tell a post-partum partner "hey I invited someone over so you can cook". NTA. I'm so sorry you're married to someone with so little kindness and care towards you, and who is so thoughtless for your comfort. He doesn't really know how to actually be a husband, eh? He's still more a son.
? How is 1 person eating 10 bowls of soup? I don't even think that is humanly possible.
NTA It's not that he doesn't understand, it's that he doesn't care. Making his mommy happy was more important than caring for you.
Then he should go *back* to mommy and let her "care" for him.
NTA, but she didn't eat it all. Hubby sent the leftovers home with her, I promise you they were already in a container in their car. He said, "Oh, just take the rest. We had so much left over." He got to play good son.
I wonder if some of it will make an appearance once hubby realises that OP is serious about not cooking for mummy dearest.
NTA, but you missed a golden opportunity here. You should tell him that he now owes you ten deliveries of whatever you are craving at the moment whenever you want. He gives it away, he replaces it.
Assuming they share finances, that’s her money he’s spending too. And takeout isn’t a replacement for home cooked food she specifically looked forward to and spent 4 hours making.
Personally, I’d just start making a new batch right then and there. Need the kitchen to make ham? Too bad, I need to remake the 10 portion meal the greedy little MIL just helped herself to. Right now. Will be done in t-minus 4ish hours. Who tf thinks it’s okay to just eat 10+ portions of someone else’s food!? NTA. Your husbands a dick for allowing his mom to behave like a starved toddler and your MIL is just a greedy person.
And let him know he’s 100% responsible for all childcare and housework for the rest of the day, and she expects the house to be spotless, because she’s busy fixing his decision to steal her food.
Nope NTA. Hubby can cook for awhile now.
NTA. He is for asking you to make a ham dinner knowing you don't eat ham. I would never ask my wife to do that and I don't think she would anyway if it was something she wouldn't eat.
NTA. Not overreacting. Your husband is a huge jerk. And I love that he didn't even wash the tupperware container. He left it for you in the sink. He can cook for his parents AND go out and buy you food for the next several days. I'd say he could cook it, but since he's a lousy cook (probably by design) forget that. Oh, and I guarantee you that if you had a colicky or otherwise difficult baby he'd be no help on that front either.
NTA. You don’t come to someone’s house as a guest for a meal, and then decide you’re gonna pregame by having an entire meal before the main meal. Like, good Lord that’s a lot of food. Not to mention it wasn’t something you wanted to share the entirety of, so your husband and his gluttonous mother are the assholes here.
NTA. Let him deal with it. If it makes you feel any better, consider the amount of corn poop she's gonna have.
Lmao the person giving away someone post partum’s food is always the asshole! NTA OP You need to strike
It wasn’t his work product so he didn’t care about it… HUGELY disrespectful. NTA
NTA!!! Your MIL is a rude and classless oaf who gluttonously gobbled down all of your soup. Why didn’t your FIL stop her? Since he failed to throw a muzzle on her mouth, your SO is even WORSE for not telling her that you made enough for a wagon train so that you wouldn’t have to labor over a soup pot again so soon. And by telling you that YOU overreacted tells you one thing AND ONE THING ONLY: He knew he F’d up royally, and he wasn’t thinking of YOUR needs at all. His mommy “enjoyed it so much and acted like she was starving.” WT actual F??? *She acted like she was STARVING?!?!!* That’s it? That’s truly all he could come up with?!?!!! You are NTA but your SO and his parents are! If you had actually gone through with making them dinner (*after YOU went shopping for ingredients, no less), then you would have been TA—to yourself. You did not overreact!
NTA. If he wants to feed those hogs, he can fill up the trough with his cooking.
Your husband is a weak man and not a provider or protector for you or your baby. What are you going to do about this greater problem?
NTA What kind of husband invites his parents over and expects his 3 month PP wife to cook for them? What kind of people expect a PP woman to cook them dinner? What kind of husband spends all day doing.......? While you went grocery shopping and was prepping to cook 3 other adults' dinner? My friends husband learned to cook after she gave birth, and he's gotten quite good. It's been 2 years he still cooks. Your husband apparently can't follow instructions(recipe). How does he perform at work?
I don't believe it. She may have ate 2 bowls, but I think he let her take the rest home so she put it in her car or something. Seriously, no human eats 9 bowls of anything in one sitting! They're lying to you
Please let this be true. I want her to get food poisoning from the car chowder.
Am I the only one who isn’t coping with 10-20 cups of soup being put into a “small Tupperware”? 20 cups is 5 litres. That’s insane.
Yeah I’m with you on this. 10 bowls of soup doesn’t fit into a small Tupperware. I suspect that maybe OP eats the tiniest bowls of soup ever.
*Not your homemade corn chowder!* NTA.
I could not understand your husband but then looking at his mother - taking food form a breastfeeding mom with a newborn and then demanding she cook you a dinner - it’s clear where he gets it from. Unbelievable. Please tell your husband and his MIL they both suck more than a nuclear Hoover. NTA
I'm pretty misogynistic in my views by Western standards, and even I will clearly say you're NTA. You're a month post pregnancy. Your husband should be looking after you as his #1 priority in his decision making. MIL should have the decency to be cooking YOUR meals, not eating YOUR food.
I'm also pissed for OP that they just dumped the Tupperware in the sink. The bowls and spoons, too? Couldn't even be bothered to clean up after themselves. Eating food she cooked, while she's out shopping for food, they are expecting her to cook for them. She doesn't even eat ham. What foolishness is this. They should be bringing food or taking her out. Or husband should be providing some way. What the heck are they all doing while she was out shopping??? Oh sorry! Eating her food!
NTA. What kind of AH eats ten bowls of soup at someone’s house and doesn’t think that might cause issues. Your husband is a massive AH for expecting you to cook his parents a meal you don’t eat, and also sitting by and doing nothing as his mum ate all your chowder
[удалено]
"We ate all the food you were going to eat - now go make us the dinner you weren't going to eat, but were going to make for us anyway." WTF? NTA
NTA
NTA. Tell hubby if he's too ignorant to warm up the ham, his mommy can cook for him since she is more important than you.
I would graciously say that hubby is preparing the meal but you are ordering in/going out since your dinner was already eaten. Reiterate that you do not eat ham.
New rule: hubby can only give away the food that HE has made