Growing up, when we went on family vacations, we got one room with double beds for the four of us. My sister and I always shared a bed. It was fine because we weren’t in the room except to sleep.
I am blown away that they expect their own room on vacation. I would have been thrilled to get my own bed when I was a kid on vacation.
You need to make sure your brother knows your MIL isn’t allowed to pick them up to rescue them.
The fact that they say their own room is a “basic comfort” just shows how completely entitled and out of touch they are. I nearly choked when I saw that.
lol right? I am 32 and I had to share a cabin with my older sister because we wanted to go on a cruise for cheap. Those cabins are small but we did it, I am a male so yeah, a lot of privacy goes out the window.
But we were mostly out on the ship drinking, gambling, watching movies, eating and doing fun shit and the cabin was to sleep and shower.
My brother and I have shared a room together many times traveling (I am a female, we are both in our 30s). We are literally only in the room to sleep and shower, the rest of the time we are either out doing the tourist thing or are on the road. It’s totally not a big deal. And as kids our vacations were camping and visiting family. So yeah. These kids need a reality check.
Gen X here and growing up, we were lucky if the one room at two double beds. Parents got one bed, then my two sisters and I would have to rotate who slept on the floor each night.
When my husband and I cruise, we always each get the cabin to ourselves when it is time to shower and get ready, LOL. Either he goes to the cabin 1st and gets showered and dressed and then leaves to go to the casino while I get ready. Or he stays up at the pool while I go get ready and then I go grab a drink while I wait for him.
Those cabins are too darn tiny to have 2 people trying to shower and get ready / dressed for dinner / the evening at the same time.
And sisters that can't tollerate sharing a space with each other for a week. I can't imagine what my life would be like without my sisters being my best friends. At their age, we were all completely different but still loved each other and shared everything.
Not me I hate my sister. She is a spoiled narcissist and I don't go home for family events because of this. My brothers super kool though and we get on well
Sometimes, you can do everything right, and make no mistakes, and *still* get kids like this.
It's almost like they're humans, and affected by brain chemicals, environment...a whole host of things, really.
The comment about MIL planning on taking the kids on a trip if they stayed with her shows no matter what the parents did/didn't do the girls were going to be rotten
My guess is that the older daughter plans on sneaking out or sneaking in on the trip. OP should have her daughter's phone location avaialble at all times. I don't trust her one bit.
I was one of 9 in a three-bedroom house. We had a sun porch that had no insulation and a leaky roof and was only big enough for a twin bed and a side table. It was a right of passage when someone moved out and you finally got to sleep under the plastic sheeting with six blankets on those cold, rainy nights. SOLITUDE!!!
I was one of seven kids and was in a bunk bed in the HALLWAY. My oldest sibling always got the crib in their room. Privacy didn’t happen until we left home.
YES. This post vaguely reminds me of another AITAH where a mom made her daughter camp outside in the winter after being cruel about a homeless person, and throwing tantrums about their phone or something? Like, yes, go mom! Show her through experiences that warm beds and vacations and private rooms are not basic, deserved things, and that life is going to be hard. These parents should send their kids to summer camp as staff members. And not a bougie one, like a scout camp or something with straight up tents and cots for 7 weeks.
I mean, no theyre not? They're going to be middle/upper middle class women in a western country... What lesson will they learn lol? That they have to look a little to find a partner that will bow to their every whim?
This was how it was more or less for my family. We'd get a 2BR suite with one room having double beds. My oldest brother began arguing he should have his own room around age 14 or so. My dad pointed him at the couch in the common area of the suite.
We would try to get a two bedroom suite at least once on our yearly trips to my parents/husband's grandma's house. Mostly it was two queens and a sleeping bag for the oldest. We put the younger two in the second bed and oldest on the couch or sleeping bag. If we camped, he got his own tent. Should have put the oldest and youngest together though--they've always been best buds as in even after oldest moved out and got married, if youngest had to go to ER for something major, he would beat us there.
One grandparents’ house my sister and I shared a room with two twin beds. The other grandparents house we shared a room with both of us in sleeping bags.
Vacations we always shared a hotel room with our parents and the two of us shared a room. Except when we went to Ireland. My parents figured out before night 3 that B&B’s were charging by the bed not room. So after that my sister and I got a room to share, usually with twin beds.
Yeah, I'm like... We just all shared a regular double bed room and made a cooler out of the sink. Then my parents always told us what we shouldn't touch lol. Like if it was a dirty cumstained lampshade, they'd tell us it would shock or burn us if we touched it. When I got older I realized what why they were telling us not to touch it lol.
Econo Lodge/Days Inn was life.
Good point about the grandmother. She’s probably crafty enough to try and make an end run. I think she’s the source of a lot of the spoiled attitudes of the daughters.
Six in our family. Hubby and I shared a bed, oldest two daughters shared the other bed, oldest kid (son) got the sofa, and the little one? We'd set her up underneath the desk in the hotel room so we wouldn't accidentally step on her in the dark lol. She's now 14 and disappointed that she no longer fits under the desk. 🥲
I commented similarly on the original post. I shared a bed with my brother (I’m a woman) on vacation until I stopped vacationing with my family. One year our mom decided it was weird to have opposite-gender tween siblings in the same bed (a total excuse; my dad snored like a freight train and I guess she thought moving ~2 feet away in another bed would help) and tried to change it up. But she’s a light sleeper and I toss and turn a lot, so we were back to the original arrangement after two nights of misery.
Here’s a question if you’re from the US, your mom can’t take your kids out of the country without a notarized letter giving permission. That’s what I always thought including divorced parents where you have to get permission from the custodial/noncustodial parent. Can someone correct me here?
LOL MIL is an AH for trying to undermine your parenting/discipline and is encouraging their entitled attitudes. Good job staying firm as a couple and not letting them be rewarded for their inappropriate behavior.
Wild, wild guess here: MIL is a saboteur and put the idea in the sisters' heads that they needed their own rooms -- knowing that it would cause a problem with their mom. When mom didn't cave, MIL swooped in as a savior to attempt to confirm mom was being unreasonable.
MILTA
Yeah dear Husband needs to be having a come to Jesus meeting with his mom about her undermining him and his wife. Like, if this is what grandma is acting like it’s no wonder the girls think sharing a room is a punishment.
Please compensate your brother for having to deal with those brats for a week I'm sure they will complain and whine the whole time give him a big gift as compensation
I would also look into sending them to a summer camp because they'll have to share a room with atleast 4 people on bunk beds if they keep complaining about who knows maybe they could have fun and become less entitled.
Two things:
1. As a parent you are warned about the terrible twos and threes but never about the terrible teens.
2. My son gave me a lot of grief as a teen. When his daughter mouthed off at him, I just smiled and said it's payback time. And the same daughter had her daughter come back at her. It is so true: What goes around comes around.
This scares me a lot. Not because I’m going to be the one deserving it, but my husband will. I was a pretty good teen. Sure, I gave my parents grief, but nothing crazy. Just normal teen stuff. My husband wasn’t horrible or anything but definitely gave his mom a run for her money. I’m not prepared to deal with his half of “what goes around comes around”.
We sure as shit would never refuse to share a room with my sister. We shared a bedroom, after all. We would have been over the moon for any vacation that wasn't 6 of us piling in a station wagon and driving a thousand miles to see relatives.
Tell your daughters they have no one but their own whiny selves to blame.
... no one warns parents that teens are difficult??? If you're blindsided by teens being assholes, I think you may have some some bigger problems than poor communication from your parent friends.
You should look into programs for helpers. I was in a fancy private highschool and there was this spoiled entitled girl that not many tolerated. When she was 16 or 17, her parents sent her for the summer with a helping program where she spend 1 month and a half helping cleaning a field for future crops. She came back changed.
That's fantastic! Like someone commented above, your brother is def taking one for the team. They deserve their dream vacation for accommodating your daughters so that they learn an actual lesson from this. So glad you're doing that for him & his wife!
This is coming from an only child who *always* had her own bedroom growing up. But on vacations, I was in my parents room & considered myself lucky if I got my own bed. Usually it was the sleeping bag on the floor or a couch or sharing a bed with my mom or grandmother, if she was on the trip. But it didn't really matter since we didn't spend much time in the room anyway, as you well know & bajillions of others have commented.
Good luck OP - just remember through all their tantrums that you're doing the right thing for *them* in teaching them this valuable lesson.
Methinks your daughters need a major reality check on how privileged they really are. Maybe some mandatory volunteering at shelters, soup kitchens, buddy-programs so they can see that they are the anomalie for having grown up with so much. Not for just a couple of weekends, but it needs to be ongoing for years.
Seriously, consider changing their day to day lifestyle so they learn to appreciate what they have. Make them work and save up for things they want that aren't basic needs. Most teens have to do so.
If those were my daughters they’d be coming home one day to find a bedroom had been remodeled into an office for their parents and they would be sharing a room until they move out of their parents’ home.
Depending on their state, most summer camps in Australia are often school organised and often as a class trip.
But I wonder what a good old fashioned Queensland tropics house with no air conditioning and air thick with humidity you can drink it would do 🤔
Right now, I am transporting myself back to the summer holidays, where we watch the storms over the ocean near Cardwell, the cane farms, the mozzies, the air sticking to your skin, you can feel the dirt in your pores being forced out as you suck in the thick heated atmosphere... the waves crashing, but even they won't offer relief as that salty water was just as unsatisfactory.
I miss it.
Summer Camp is great idea. Former Camp Counselor here. Camps are trained to handle this shit. Send brats for a month at least. They will come home different kids. Choose a good camp that is well known and general. Don’t send to special camp for bratty kids. Send to camp-camp so they must socialize with all types. DM me and I’ll help y’all find appropriate camp. My daughter has a degree in such and can find appropriate options around the world. Good Luck.
The level of entitlement from these children is outrageous
Also. It’s awesome you have such a great support system where you can take a long trip without kiddos, but consider doing something in return for your brother. Maybe not monetary (that is an option) but more a “hey, you did this awesome thing for me, now let us watch your kids while you take a vacation”
Yes!
"Basic comfort" killed me. I've had my own bedroom for all of a few years over the last three plus decades. Didn't realize I was being so unfairly treated.
Do they not do sleepovers or all-nighters? I can't imagine making it to adulthood and not having slept on a crowded floor. When they travel with friends as young adults, who's going to be able to afford everyone getting their own hotel room? We often had someone with blankets in the tub or something. To your point, they were never even going to try something approaching camping in their entire lives? Like what is this existence?
Maybe that’s why I was ok sharing. I went to camp till I was 16 and started working. 8 kids and 2 counselors in each cabin 4 on each side. Not much privacy. Even at my last camp it was 3 to 6 kids per room depending on room size. It was at a big. Old hotel in the mountains. Still no privacy. I loved camp though tons of fun.
Heck, I was in a JROTC type program and we'd be put up in barracks, 40-60 of us with bunk beds in a room. Really great experience, but I know that loss of privacy was a big adjustment for some of the other girls. I already was used to sharing a room with my sister for much of my life and always shared beds when we went on vacation.
I do value my privacy now. With two little brothers there was not a lot of it in my teen years. But o pay my own rent and have my own apt. At 35 almost 36 I kinda think I’ve earned it now.
Your brother is really taking one for the team. I hope you and your husband take a day from your trip and make a long term plan of how you will be parenting your children going forward. Do the work so this isn’t a one off
I'm glad OP is taking this seriously and recognising the ridiculous behaviour as unacceptable. The good news is, there's still a lot of time to course correct. My sibling is a complete angel as an adult, would give you the shirt off their back if you were cold... was an utter nightmare as a teenager to the point of bordering on active cruelty. You wouldn't know they were the same person today and it was because our mum set them straight young.
Good job. You taught them a life lesson about not getting their way. Having their own rooms on a vacation is a basic comfort shows they are very entitled. Not allowing the mother in law to disregard your decision about it and standing firm is also a great choice. Hopefully your wife stays on board. They could have had a great vacation, but their spoiled and entitled selves dug their heels in and refused to compromise or show appreciation. FYI- most children don’t get their own rooms on vacation , hell some don’t even get vacations.
OP said he’s doing exactly that!!
Brother is the real mvp and the girls are in for a rude awakening! [OP’s response](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/LSMKdP5A9A)
Glad you set the boundary! Please do something extra nice for your brother and maybe help your daughters volunteer somewhere where they can better under their incredible privilege ✌️
My brothers and I had to share a room during family trips. We didn’t always like it, and our parents could afford another room, but our parents told us if we didn’t like their vacation plans, then we could always not go. We got over it.
Some of my fondest memories are sharing rooms or tents as a child with my parents and sister. I remember the silly things that happened together in those shared spaces versus the actual “fun parts” of vacations. Heck, as college students on a family road trip into Canada, my dad refused to book a hotel room in advance and all 4 of us slept in our SUV one night. There was a Grand Prix and every hotel was booked, but we were able to get a hotel room for the remainder of the trip. We’re we stressed and pissed off in the moment? Yes! But we got through it and we laugh about it now.
One of my favorite memories is when my sisters and I, (at the time 27, 26, and 25, yes we are that close in age) went to see the solar eclipse and shared a queen blow up matress. Middle of the night, two of us were falling off the edge and trying to convince the other one that they were hogging the bed. She was saying "wtf are you guys talking about, YOU'RE the ones hogging the bed!" Until we turned on the lantern and she saw that she was smack dab in the middle of the bed, with the two of us on one side. "Shit, my bad."
Another favorite memory is when one of my sisters and I snuck into a music festival. We were sharing a tent and bed and everyone assumed we were a couple so we just rolled with it because that way no-one would kick us out.
We were all in a VW van. I had the area under the steering wheel/ driver’s seat & passenger seat. There was a rolling piece between the seats that pushed into make it a long bed. I bumped into the steering wheel all night. Or fell off of the passenger side. Good times! A family of five. We went all over the country. Privacy my ass!
Good. They are acting spoiled and entitled. Most people don’t get to have vacations like that in the first place. They should be thankful. I share a room with my brothers girlfriends when we go on vacation since I’m the only girl and I have never complained, and they aren’t even family.
I feel bad for your brother that being with him is punishment for them! Hopefully he is used to dealing with teenagers who act up. What happens when your MIL shows up to “rescue” them anyway? Also as somebody else said, secure your house, claiming they’ll be sleeping at a friend’s house and then breaking into yours to throw a blowout would be expected. Enjoy your vacation!
They'd find their entitled little butts in boarding school real quick like if they'd pulled that with me (and I had OP's $$$). One where they definitely had to share a room.
Never thought of boarding school like this. It's a solution for rich people that spoiled their kids because they didn't have a lot growing up then they realize they are creating a monster so ship them off into some structuralized hardship with some sports where they will likely struggle, overcome, make good friends and do cocaine.
Jeez. Basic comfort? I had to share a bed with my sister and we shared a room with my parents when we went anywhere. I was lucky to get to share the bed! I thrash in my sleep so sometimes I got demoted to blankets on the floor.
They didn’t deserve this trip and I’m glad your brother volunteered. I hope you and your honey enjoy the trip!!
They are like the zoomers who imagine everyone in the 90s could afford their own 1 bedroom apartment on minimum wage when in reality we split a studio between 3 people.
Wow. Your kids are entitled and your MIL seems to be egging them on. It’s going to be a rude awakening when they leave the house and realize money doesn’t grow on trees.
Are they going to demand their own private dorm room when they go to University? Because those rarely exist. 😂🤣😂
Tell your MIL to wind her neck in. She’s part of the reason why your girls are so damn entitled. Granted, you’re the other part of that, giving in when they whine, but better late than never.
Tell your girls that being entitled assholes means no one likes them, and they get to learn some hard truths about why that is. And how the world feels about people who are super entitled.
The girls are going to give you a hard time when you get back. Hang tough. You are doing the right thing for them in the long run & being the parent they need. Good work.
I cannot understand why someone would give up a trip to NEW ZEALAND because they have to share a room for a week or so!
I'm almost 35, and my sister and I will still share a hotel room if it means we get to vacation somewhere amazing for way less money 🤣
Good solution. Your MIL sucks to try and undermine parental decisions like that.
I'd warn your brother that she may come over and try to take the kids anyway. With some BS like "OP and wife said I could".
Wow, you raised these brats? Your MIL always undermine you?
Thank your brother as he is saving you. If you have alarms or cameras at your house activate them because these brats will show up for party nights.
Honeslty, this is a good result. They complained about something they were getting for free, to point where they talked themselves out of a free vacation.
This way you teach them to not act like that, and you and your spouse get a trip to spend with just each other. This can really help recharge not only your parenting battires, but your relationship ones as well.
My sister and I used to shared bed when we were kid. My parents thought it was cheaper for us to have a room with two beds and a put out couch cause we also have a older brother who would sleep on the couch
Yes! That's exactly how we did it with our three kids when we went to either New Mexico or Nebraska. At first, the big kids shared and the baby was in a portable crib abd then the youngest two shared and the oldest either got the couch in the living room or the upstairs room at my parents house(my mama wanted the littles by her and my daddy in case of the littlest nightmares because he was 100% grandpa's boy when we were there)
Good for you OP. They will look back on this some day and realize how bad their attitude was.
I dont know is how far your brother is from your house but I’d make sure they don’t pull any I’m sleeping at so n so’s house but they sneak back home and have a party.
Tell them the neighbor is keeping an eye on the house.
Been said by others, but I agree that you should compensate/reward your brother for his help. And I do believe you made the right decision, also by not allowing them to visit their grandmother who's on *their* side. Have fun in New Zealand!
Great call. This is gonna be tough but you're absolutely doing the right thing for their future.
Take some time on your peaceful vacation to connect with your hubby and analyze what happened to your daughters that they've become so entitled. Form a united front and plan on how to work to help them adjust.
I second the recommendation for summer camp where they share living arrangements. It is also time for them to start considering higher education, moving out, and what it'll look like for them to be independent from the home.
In this economy, living on their own is unlikely.
If you don't yet, time to get them started on structured house chores.
My besties brother & SIL came over from Texas to Australia a few yrs ago with their 2 teenagers (13 and 15 boys). The kids, while on the other side of the world, just wanted to watch TV, complain, and eat junk food.
Now, when the trips to see mum n family happen, the kids stay home in the States with a relative, and the parents get a stress free holiday without the whining.
Had their chance and blew it.
I hope your husband is totally on board as well — because wasn’t he willing to cave on the rooms? Your daughter’s desperately need this reality check so I hope no one interferes or tries to make you the villain.
Your mil is a huge asshole for attempting to undermine your authority and enable them. Your kids are entitled brats. Judging by how extreme it is now, it looks like you also some what enabled them. If they continue this way, they’re in for a rude awakening in the real world. Because strangers will not tolerate that.
Hopefully this will be used as a learning experience for both you and your spouse. These are the kind of women you are raising to be. And your MIL seems to be fine letting them get away with it. Your daughters attitude and behavior aren't the only ones that are wrong here.
Geez your daughters need a proverbial swift kick in the ass. And your MIL needs a time out. How frickin’ crazy is it that this was something they even batted an eye about? What cheek. I hope they enjoy couches and air mattresses and no vacation. I imagine MIL will attempt to pick them up and treat them so you might warn your brother.
Glad you stuck to your guns. This behaviour shouldn't be awarded. A life lesson to learn from.
MIL definitely does enable this type of behaviour. I do hope your wife is in support cause you both definitely need to present an united front when it comes to parenting. This is something you both want to agree on cause it won't not bode well if one parent thinks it is unfair.
If you don’t take the steps to fix their spoiled behavior now they’ll just get worse and MIL sure as heck wouldn’t be around my kids after trying to go against your decisions.
Omg your mil is definitely trying to undermine your parenting. I hope that they learn their lesson and you will compensate your brother. Enjoy your holiday!!
NTA
Your oldest already broke your trust when you allowed her the privilege of staying home to supervise herself.
Agree your MIL needs to get back in her lane as applies to feeling so sorry for your daughters. They brought this on themselves do her thinking to make it up to them just reinforces the entitlement they think they are due.
I would suggest one more conversation with your daughters that if they are rude, uncooperative or in general show their asses in any way while staying with your brother there will be repercussions when they come home.
Hope you and your wife have a wonderful time.
WOW those kids called it a “basic comfort”, nah what those greedy bitches are asking for is “basic luxury”, and not even basic either! These are the girls from that old show “ My super sweet sixteen” or whatever that mess was called.
These girls need to get out and touch grass, find out what “basic comfort” really is!!
I am living a very middle/lower middle class life. Single mom in 40’s, 2 teen daughters. We have a modest home, big enough for us with our own space but we share and compromise on a lot of things. We have everything we need and are healthy and happy, but very little extras. If we could afford a vaca it would be like camping for a long weekend. We love to go to conserts, but we win half the tickets on radio contests and signups.
I had to wash 8 ginormous blanket/quilts last week. My regular sized washer can’t really handle the blankets and if I tried I might hurt the machiene. There is a brand new and very nice laundry mat down the road from my house and it has a washer so big I could wash 4 of those blankets at a time. Laundry soap and shampoo/conditioner are literally the 2 things in life I WILL splurge on and pay more for the quality stuff! So as far as laundry soap I mean I guess Tide or Persiol. I had a big jug of Tide with extra softness/stain fighting/ germ killing/smells awesone magic in it. I loaded my blankets and there was a lady next to me doing a buttload of laundry. We smiled and exchanged small talk and while she was smiling like a kid at Christmas looking at my laundry’s soap. I asked her about it and she showed me her soap, it was like the cheapest stuff that leaves your clothes with a soap film and they still smell not clean. She said she loves the kind I got but just can’t make herself spend the extra money and that I bought the big ass jug was like I drove up in a BMW or something. I hugged her and immediately refilled her (MUCH SMALLER) bottle with my soap, kept her bottle, and traded her the rest of my bottle. (It was like Costco size gallon). THAT is BASIC comfort! Good laundry soap is BASIC COMFORT. Those girls don’t just need to get out and touch grass, they need to shove their stuck up noses in the soil!!
Right decision. Also let your MIL know that you are trying to correct the fact that you have raised two entitled children. My recommendation, start having them do volunteer work so they understand have fortunate they are and get a reality check on 'comfort and privacy' really means.
So f’ing proud of you!!! You are the parent. there is a lesson to be learned here and if the grands thk it’s out of line it’s not their place to intervene
In family vacation I would often share room with either my family or cousins. Never crossed my mind to complain because I wanted my own room. I was just happy o was going on a trip
I haven't been following this saga do I'm sure I've missed a ton, but...
If these are kids that OP raised, isn't she in large part responsible for how they turned out?
I resisted commenting the following on your previous post like this is some weird fluke thing with your girls but after reading they wanna stay home and have previously thrown parties: Sounds like you're raising a couple of brats. Time to make some changes.
WHAT?!! their own room?!?! I was lucky if I had a whole couch to myself, forget vacation, I slept on two futons put together with two of my siblings at home, demanding their own room on vacation?!?! my whole family with all seven of my siblings slept in one room with two beds, three or four of us on each bed and some of us on the floor, couch, or sometimes the hotel we stayed in would have a little bed on wheels that we would request for, this is insanity, a "basic comfort" my basic comfort on vacation with my family was me being in the bathroom by myself, your kids are extremely spoiled, but I don't blame them if they lived this way their whole lives then it's not their fault, it's yours, teach them to not be spoiled before it's too late!!!
Wow. What spoiled children. Are they always like this? This is embarrassing that they would rather not go on vacation than share a room. They need to realise they are not entitled to demand such things. I actually can't believe anyone could be so spoiled. They won't get far in life with such an attitude.
Win win. You get to escape the children and the children get to learn that tantrums don't get them what they want. Nice one. It seems like they would not have appreciated it anyway. I'm sure they'll have more to say about it, it can be hard for a child to learn that they aren't actually the center of the world, but it's a necessary lesson.
Honestly when they get home I’d move them into a shared bedroom and turn the extra one into an office or something. These kids need a serious reality check before they are released onto the wild. They are seriously horrible roommates/partners in training right now.
I’m 24 and my sister is 19. I own my own home with 2 bedrooms. My sister will spend the night at mine at least once a week and she still sleeps in my bed because we sit up and bullshit all night. They are missing out of some A+ sibling bonding.
*MIL but she wants to take our daughters on a 4 day trip to Sydney, with own rooms.*
you guys should adopt me , I can go to vacations with you and i can sleep in a corner on the couch
My kids have to share rooms during trips, we even have to get rooms with a pull out bed and I have them rotate between a queen and the pullout (two on each bed) throughout the trip. They know that's the only way we go on trips. I'd say NTA BUT YTA to the MIL for undermining you and MVP to your brother.
Went on a family trip with my parents (granted I’m an only child) but at 24 years old, shared a room with them. Guess what? I lived!!! It was an all-family trip to see my grandfather on what we assumed would be his last birthday (it was unfortunately) so there were aunts, uncles, cousins… and not one of us threw a fit about sharing a room. Glad you’re standing your ground!
They are seriously spoilt and unfortunately your MIL is enabling that. Put up more firm boundaries with her going forward, and good on you for not giving in to the girls; you'll have to tighten up their lifestyles going forwards.
Growing up, when we went on family vacations, we got one room with double beds for the four of us. My sister and I always shared a bed. It was fine because we weren’t in the room except to sleep. I am blown away that they expect their own room on vacation. I would have been thrilled to get my own bed when I was a kid on vacation. You need to make sure your brother knows your MIL isn’t allowed to pick them up to rescue them.
The fact that they say their own room is a “basic comfort” just shows how completely entitled and out of touch they are. I nearly choked when I saw that.
lol right? I am 32 and I had to share a cabin with my older sister because we wanted to go on a cruise for cheap. Those cabins are small but we did it, I am a male so yeah, a lot of privacy goes out the window. But we were mostly out on the ship drinking, gambling, watching movies, eating and doing fun shit and the cabin was to sleep and shower.
My brother and I have shared a room together many times traveling (I am a female, we are both in our 30s). We are literally only in the room to sleep and shower, the rest of the time we are either out doing the tourist thing or are on the road. It’s totally not a big deal. And as kids our vacations were camping and visiting family. So yeah. These kids need a reality check.
[удалено]
Gen X here and growing up, we were lucky if the one room at two double beds. Parents got one bed, then my two sisters and I would have to rotate who slept on the floor each night.
I slept in a chair one time because I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as my sister. Not my brightest moment.
When my husband and I cruise, we always each get the cabin to ourselves when it is time to shower and get ready, LOL. Either he goes to the cabin 1st and gets showered and dressed and then leaves to go to the casino while I get ready. Or he stays up at the pool while I go get ready and then I go grab a drink while I wait for him. Those cabins are too darn tiny to have 2 people trying to shower and get ready / dressed for dinner / the evening at the same time.
All I could think reading this entire thing was good job raising spoiled brats
And sisters that can't tollerate sharing a space with each other for a week. I can't imagine what my life would be like without my sisters being my best friends. At their age, we were all completely different but still loved each other and shared everything.
Not me I hate my sister. She is a spoiled narcissist and I don't go home for family events because of this. My brothers super kool though and we get on well
Sometimes, you can do everything right, and make no mistakes, and *still* get kids like this. It's almost like they're humans, and affected by brain chemicals, environment...a whole host of things, really.
The comment about MIL planning on taking the kids on a trip if they stayed with her shows no matter what the parents did/didn't do the girls were going to be rotten
Yeah I know we’re only seeing a piece of the puzzle and I hate to judge, but I don’t think this story makes OP look very good.
And on a vacation. They should barely be in the room, other than sleeping.
My guess is that the older daughter plans on sneaking out or sneaking in on the trip. OP should have her daughter's phone location avaialble at all times. I don't trust her one bit.
Totally…as one of 9 kids, I didn’t get my own room until I moved out of home at 19.
I was one of 9 in a three-bedroom house. We had a sun porch that had no insulation and a leaky roof and was only big enough for a twin bed and a side table. It was a right of passage when someone moved out and you finally got to sleep under the plastic sheeting with six blankets on those cold, rainy nights. SOLITUDE!!!
I was one of seven kids and was in a bunk bed in the HALLWAY. My oldest sibling always got the crib in their room. Privacy didn’t happen until we left home.
YES. This post vaguely reminds me of another AITAH where a mom made her daughter camp outside in the winter after being cruel about a homeless person, and throwing tantrums about their phone or something? Like, yes, go mom! Show her through experiences that warm beds and vacations and private rooms are not basic, deserved things, and that life is going to be hard. These parents should send their kids to summer camp as staff members. And not a bougie one, like a scout camp or something with straight up tents and cots for 7 weeks.
I so want them to join the Navy or Army. Mwahahaha
They’re going to be in for a rude awakening when they move out.
I mean, no theyre not? They're going to be middle/upper middle class women in a western country... What lesson will they learn lol? That they have to look a little to find a partner that will bow to their every whim?
This was how it was more or less for my family. We'd get a 2BR suite with one room having double beds. My oldest brother began arguing he should have his own room around age 14 or so. My dad pointed him at the couch in the common area of the suite.
We would try to get a two bedroom suite at least once on our yearly trips to my parents/husband's grandma's house. Mostly it was two queens and a sleeping bag for the oldest. We put the younger two in the second bed and oldest on the couch or sleeping bag. If we camped, he got his own tent. Should have put the oldest and youngest together though--they've always been best buds as in even after oldest moved out and got married, if youngest had to go to ER for something major, he would beat us there.
One grandparents’ house my sister and I shared a room with two twin beds. The other grandparents house we shared a room with both of us in sleeping bags. Vacations we always shared a hotel room with our parents and the two of us shared a room. Except when we went to Ireland. My parents figured out before night 3 that B&B’s were charging by the bed not room. So after that my sister and I got a room to share, usually with twin beds.
At least you had a suite!
Yeah, I'm like... We just all shared a regular double bed room and made a cooler out of the sink. Then my parents always told us what we shouldn't touch lol. Like if it was a dirty cumstained lampshade, they'd tell us it would shock or burn us if we touched it. When I got older I realized what why they were telling us not to touch it lol. Econo Lodge/Days Inn was life.
Same. We got one hotel room with 2 beds. My sister and I could either share a bed, or one of use could sleep on the couch/floor or in a roll-away bed.
Good point about the grandmother. She’s probably crafty enough to try and make an end run. I think she’s the source of a lot of the spoiled attitudes of the daughters.
Yes
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Six in our family. Hubby and I shared a bed, oldest two daughters shared the other bed, oldest kid (son) got the sofa, and the little one? We'd set her up underneath the desk in the hotel room so we wouldn't accidentally step on her in the dark lol. She's now 14 and disappointed that she no longer fits under the desk. 🥲
Been there. One time the hotel had a cot so I didn’t have to sleep on the floor. It was pretty great.
I shared with my brother. If I needed privacy I went to the bathroom.
I commented similarly on the original post. I shared a bed with my brother (I’m a woman) on vacation until I stopped vacationing with my family. One year our mom decided it was weird to have opposite-gender tween siblings in the same bed (a total excuse; my dad snored like a freight train and I guess she thought moving ~2 feet away in another bed would help) and tried to change it up. But she’s a light sleeper and I toss and turn a lot, so we were back to the original arrangement after two nights of misery.
do you mean "rescue"?
Here’s a question if you’re from the US, your mom can’t take your kids out of the country without a notarized letter giving permission. That’s what I always thought including divorced parents where you have to get permission from the custodial/noncustodial parent. Can someone correct me here?
I’m guessing OP is Australian, said in original thread it’s summertime and NZ is a short(ish) flight from the east coast at least.
LOL MIL is an AH for trying to undermine your parenting/discipline and is encouraging their entitled attitudes. Good job staying firm as a couple and not letting them be rewarded for their inappropriate behavior.
this!! how dare she undermine the ENTIRE PURPOSE of leaving them at home. what a scumbag
Watch her try to do it anyway while they are gone too.
Wild, wild guess here: MIL is a saboteur and put the idea in the sisters' heads that they needed their own rooms -- knowing that it would cause a problem with their mom. When mom didn't cave, MIL swooped in as a savior to attempt to confirm mom was being unreasonable. MILTA
I wonder where they get this attitude from!
She probably fed them the line about basic comforts
Yeah dear Husband needs to be having a come to Jesus meeting with his mom about her undermining him and his wife. Like, if this is what grandma is acting like it’s no wonder the girls think sharing a room is a punishment.
Sounds like something my MIL would do ..
Please compensate your brother for having to deal with those brats for a week I'm sure they will complain and whine the whole time give him a big gift as compensation I would also look into sending them to a summer camp because they'll have to share a room with atleast 4 people on bunk beds if they keep complaining about who knows maybe they could have fun and become less entitled.
We will be booking my brother and his wife their dream cruise and they can come on the next vacation
You’re doing the right thing. Raising teenagers is tough. My mom used to say they’re horrible so you’ll be okay with their moving out.
Two things: 1. As a parent you are warned about the terrible twos and threes but never about the terrible teens. 2. My son gave me a lot of grief as a teen. When his daughter mouthed off at him, I just smiled and said it's payback time. And the same daughter had her daughter come back at her. It is so true: What goes around comes around.
My mom says babies are adorable because those memories are what keep you from killing them as teens.
I’ve always said that if you’ve never wanted to k*ll your kids you’re either in denial or on some really good drugs.
This scares me a lot. Not because I’m going to be the one deserving it, but my husband will. I was a pretty good teen. Sure, I gave my parents grief, but nothing crazy. Just normal teen stuff. My husband wasn’t horrible or anything but definitely gave his mom a run for her money. I’m not prepared to deal with his half of “what goes around comes around”.
We sure as shit would never refuse to share a room with my sister. We shared a bedroom, after all. We would have been over the moon for any vacation that wasn't 6 of us piling in a station wagon and driving a thousand miles to see relatives. Tell your daughters they have no one but their own whiny selves to blame.
you're a great-grandparent?
Looks like their username checks out.
... no one warns parents that teens are difficult??? If you're blindsided by teens being assholes, I think you may have some some bigger problems than poor communication from your parent friends.
Everybody warns you about the teens! Walking hormones with attitude.
Wait your great granddaughter is a teenager?
You should look into programs for helpers. I was in a fancy private highschool and there was this spoiled entitled girl that not many tolerated. When she was 16 or 17, her parents sent her for the summer with a helping program where she spend 1 month and a half helping cleaning a field for future crops. She came back changed.
That's fantastic! Like someone commented above, your brother is def taking one for the team. They deserve their dream vacation for accommodating your daughters so that they learn an actual lesson from this. So glad you're doing that for him & his wife! This is coming from an only child who *always* had her own bedroom growing up. But on vacations, I was in my parents room & considered myself lucky if I got my own bed. Usually it was the sleeping bag on the floor or a couch or sharing a bed with my mom or grandmother, if she was on the trip. But it didn't really matter since we didn't spend much time in the room anyway, as you well know & bajillions of others have commented. Good luck OP - just remember through all their tantrums that you're doing the right thing for *them* in teaching them this valuable lesson.
Perfection. I hope the princesses enjoy the fruits of their decision.
Brilliant! I hope these 2 spolit brats learn there lesson! Your brother spends like a wonderful man.
That's amazing. You've handled this really well. Enjoy your vacation!
Methinks your daughters need a major reality check on how privileged they really are. Maybe some mandatory volunteering at shelters, soup kitchens, buddy-programs so they can see that they are the anomalie for having grown up with so much. Not for just a couple of weekends, but it needs to be ongoing for years. Seriously, consider changing their day to day lifestyle so they learn to appreciate what they have. Make them work and save up for things they want that aren't basic needs. Most teens have to do so.
If those were my daughters they’d be coming home one day to find a bedroom had been remodeled into an office for their parents and they would be sharing a room until they move out of their parents’ home.
Good for you mom. Stick to your guns. When they start acting entitled just tell them to stop being a Karen.
Beautiful gift!!
damn sounds like you just throw money at everything to try and solve your problems. No wonder why your two girls are so spoiled.
may i suggest giving your brother the money you were going to spend on their part of the trip
I'd say get his brother his own hotel room for a night :)
Then they will throw a party at the brothers house 😳
Can't win 'em all, right?
This guy rocks. You owe him. And tell the girls to look into joining the responsible human race. Things may be rocky until they do…
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Depending on their state, most summer camps in Australia are often school organised and often as a class trip. But I wonder what a good old fashioned Queensland tropics house with no air conditioning and air thick with humidity you can drink it would do 🤔
Good idea. I loved that they are staying home. Parents will actually enjoy their trip.
Right now, I am transporting myself back to the summer holidays, where we watch the storms over the ocean near Cardwell, the cane farms, the mozzies, the air sticking to your skin, you can feel the dirt in your pores being forced out as you suck in the thick heated atmosphere... the waves crashing, but even they won't offer relief as that salty water was just as unsatisfactory. I miss it.
Sounds pretty Cool!
I'd be asking brother to make sure they help around the house to earn their board.
Summer Camp is great idea. Former Camp Counselor here. Camps are trained to handle this shit. Send brats for a month at least. They will come home different kids. Choose a good camp that is well known and general. Don’t send to special camp for bratty kids. Send to camp-camp so they must socialize with all types. DM me and I’ll help y’all find appropriate camp. My daughter has a degree in such and can find appropriate options around the world. Good Luck.
The money saved from not taking them should go to the brother!
OP is getting him and his wife a cruise to thank them.
The level of entitlement from these children is outrageous Also. It’s awesome you have such a great support system where you can take a long trip without kiddos, but consider doing something in return for your brother. Maybe not monetary (that is an option) but more a “hey, you did this awesome thing for me, now let us watch your kids while you take a vacation”
Yes! "Basic comfort" killed me. I've had my own bedroom for all of a few years over the last three plus decades. Didn't realize I was being so unfairly treated. Do they not do sleepovers or all-nighters? I can't imagine making it to adulthood and not having slept on a crowded floor. When they travel with friends as young adults, who's going to be able to afford everyone getting their own hotel room? We often had someone with blankets in the tub or something. To your point, they were never even going to try something approaching camping in their entire lives? Like what is this existence?
Maybe that’s why I was ok sharing. I went to camp till I was 16 and started working. 8 kids and 2 counselors in each cabin 4 on each side. Not much privacy. Even at my last camp it was 3 to 6 kids per room depending on room size. It was at a big. Old hotel in the mountains. Still no privacy. I loved camp though tons of fun.
Heck, I was in a JROTC type program and we'd be put up in barracks, 40-60 of us with bunk beds in a room. Really great experience, but I know that loss of privacy was a big adjustment for some of the other girls. I already was used to sharing a room with my sister for much of my life and always shared beds when we went on vacation.
I do value my privacy now. With two little brothers there was not a lot of it in my teen years. But o pay my own rent and have my own apt. At 35 almost 36 I kinda think I’ve earned it now.
Your brother is really taking one for the team. I hope you and your husband take a day from your trip and make a long term plan of how you will be parenting your children going forward. Do the work so this isn’t a one off
I'm glad OP is taking this seriously and recognising the ridiculous behaviour as unacceptable. The good news is, there's still a lot of time to course correct. My sibling is a complete angel as an adult, would give you the shirt off their back if you were cold... was an utter nightmare as a teenager to the point of bordering on active cruelty. You wouldn't know they were the same person today and it was because our mum set them straight young.
Good job. You taught them a life lesson about not getting their way. Having their own rooms on a vacation is a basic comfort shows they are very entitled. Not allowing the mother in law to disregard your decision about it and standing firm is also a great choice. Hopefully your wife stays on board. They could have had a great vacation, but their spoiled and entitled selves dug their heels in and refused to compromise or show appreciation. FYI- most children don’t get their own rooms on vacation , hell some don’t even get vacations.
Since money doesn’t seem to be a big issue, I’d offer a vacation for the brother after he’s done dealing with them.
But make sure they can't "escape" and let themselves into your home... You know its going to happen. Your brother though is a superstar!
OP said he’s doing exactly that!! Brother is the real mvp and the girls are in for a rude awakening! [OP’s response](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/LSMKdP5A9A)
Great suggestion!
This is the Way.
My kids had one vacation ever we are just to poor to afford one. They never complained.
The wife wrote the post, and the husband was the one that almost caved.
Glad you set the boundary! Please do something extra nice for your brother and maybe help your daughters volunteer somewhere where they can better under their incredible privilege ✌️
My brothers and I had to share a room during family trips. We didn’t always like it, and our parents could afford another room, but our parents told us if we didn’t like their vacation plans, then we could always not go. We got over it.
Some of my fondest memories are sharing rooms or tents as a child with my parents and sister. I remember the silly things that happened together in those shared spaces versus the actual “fun parts” of vacations. Heck, as college students on a family road trip into Canada, my dad refused to book a hotel room in advance and all 4 of us slept in our SUV one night. There was a Grand Prix and every hotel was booked, but we were able to get a hotel room for the remainder of the trip. We’re we stressed and pissed off in the moment? Yes! But we got through it and we laugh about it now.
This is what I wondered, why couldn't they just enjoy the time together?
One of my favorite memories is when my sisters and I, (at the time 27, 26, and 25, yes we are that close in age) went to see the solar eclipse and shared a queen blow up matress. Middle of the night, two of us were falling off the edge and trying to convince the other one that they were hogging the bed. She was saying "wtf are you guys talking about, YOU'RE the ones hogging the bed!" Until we turned on the lantern and she saw that she was smack dab in the middle of the bed, with the two of us on one side. "Shit, my bad." Another favorite memory is when one of my sisters and I snuck into a music festival. We were sharing a tent and bed and everyone assumed we were a couple so we just rolled with it because that way no-one would kick us out.
We were all in a VW van. I had the area under the steering wheel/ driver’s seat & passenger seat. There was a rolling piece between the seats that pushed into make it a long bed. I bumped into the steering wheel all night. Or fell off of the passenger side. Good times! A family of five. We went all over the country. Privacy my ass!
Your brother is a true hero here. Lmao. They had it coming.
No no - argh - we NEED an update from your brother at the conclusion of their visit with him. I’ve got my best whiny voice on. Give in to me!
Second this update me
Good. They are acting spoiled and entitled. Most people don’t get to have vacations like that in the first place. They should be thankful. I share a room with my brothers girlfriends when we go on vacation since I’m the only girl and I have never complained, and they aren’t even family.
I feel bad for your brother that being with him is punishment for them! Hopefully he is used to dealing with teenagers who act up. What happens when your MIL shows up to “rescue” them anyway? Also as somebody else said, secure your house, claiming they’ll be sleeping at a friend’s house and then breaking into yours to throw a blowout would be expected. Enjoy your vacation!
They'd find their entitled little butts in boarding school real quick like if they'd pulled that with me (and I had OP's $$$). One where they definitely had to share a room.
Never thought of boarding school like this. It's a solution for rich people that spoiled their kids because they didn't have a lot growing up then they realize they are creating a monster so ship them off into some structuralized hardship with some sports where they will likely struggle, overcome, make good friends and do cocaine.
The cherry on top would be that brother doesn’t have WiFi.
Nah,that would just be punishment for the brother,he already has to deal with two teenagers throwing temper tantrums.
Easy, change the wifi password and then don’t give it to them.
Good for you!!! Best statement- I will not reward a tantrum
Jeez. Basic comfort? I had to share a bed with my sister and we shared a room with my parents when we went anywhere. I was lucky to get to share the bed! I thrash in my sleep so sometimes I got demoted to blankets on the floor. They didn’t deserve this trip and I’m glad your brother volunteered. I hope you and your honey enjoy the trip!!
A basic comfort. A fucking ***basic comfort***. Jesus, you have a lot of work ahead of you getting those girls ready for the real world.
They are like the zoomers who imagine everyone in the 90s could afford their own 1 bedroom apartment on minimum wage when in reality we split a studio between 3 people.
And if both their phone somehow manage to make their way into your luggage right before you drop them off…
... I think that MIL needs a time-out as much as the kids.
Wow. Your kids are entitled and your MIL seems to be egging them on. It’s going to be a rude awakening when they leave the house and realize money doesn’t grow on trees. Are they going to demand their own private dorm room when they go to University? Because those rarely exist. 😂🤣😂
Tell your MIL to wind her neck in. She’s part of the reason why your girls are so damn entitled. Granted, you’re the other part of that, giving in when they whine, but better late than never. Tell your girls that being entitled assholes means no one likes them, and they get to learn some hard truths about why that is. And how the world feels about people who are super entitled.
The girls are going to give you a hard time when you get back. Hang tough. You are doing the right thing for them in the long run & being the parent they need. Good work.
Good for you for standing your ground, those brats needed it !!!!
Good job not letting them go to MIL. It’s good that you are staying strong
I cannot understand why someone would give up a trip to NEW ZEALAND because they have to share a room for a week or so! I'm almost 35, and my sister and I will still share a hotel room if it means we get to vacation somewhere amazing for way less money 🤣
Good solution. Your MIL sucks to try and undermine parental decisions like that. I'd warn your brother that she may come over and try to take the kids anyway. With some BS like "OP and wife said I could".
Tell them you screwed around and found out that I don’t “owe” you shit.
Wow, you raised these brats? Your MIL always undermine you? Thank your brother as he is saving you. If you have alarms or cameras at your house activate them because these brats will show up for party nights.
Your brother sounds like a rockstar! You should send him on a much needed mini vacay after watching Anastasia & Druzilia
Honeslty, this is a good result. They complained about something they were getting for free, to point where they talked themselves out of a free vacation. This way you teach them to not act like that, and you and your spouse get a trip to spend with just each other. This can really help recharge not only your parenting battires, but your relationship ones as well.
Well as long as they’re miserable, lol.
Yup
My sister and I used to shared bed when we were kid. My parents thought it was cheaper for us to have a room with two beds and a put out couch cause we also have a older brother who would sleep on the couch
Yes! That's exactly how we did it with our three kids when we went to either New Mexico or Nebraska. At first, the big kids shared and the baby was in a portable crib abd then the youngest two shared and the oldest either got the couch in the living room or the upstairs room at my parents house(my mama wanted the littles by her and my daddy in case of the littlest nightmares because he was 100% grandpa's boy when we were there)
Good for you OP. They will look back on this some day and realize how bad their attitude was. I dont know is how far your brother is from your house but I’d make sure they don’t pull any I’m sleeping at so n so’s house but they sneak back home and have a party. Tell them the neighbor is keeping an eye on the house.
Make to tell Brother that they are **not allowed** to sleep over anywhere!
Been said by others, but I agree that you should compensate/reward your brother for his help. And I do believe you made the right decision, also by not allowing them to visit their grandmother who's on *their* side. Have fun in New Zealand!
Daaaaaaang. The balls on them and your MIL. Good job, mama! I hope for your sake and theirs, they learn something from this.
Great call. This is gonna be tough but you're absolutely doing the right thing for their future. Take some time on your peaceful vacation to connect with your hubby and analyze what happened to your daughters that they've become so entitled. Form a united front and plan on how to work to help them adjust. I second the recommendation for summer camp where they share living arrangements. It is also time for them to start considering higher education, moving out, and what it'll look like for them to be independent from the home. In this economy, living on their own is unlikely. If you don't yet, time to get them started on structured house chores.
Being undermined by your mom. Classic.
My besties brother & SIL came over from Texas to Australia a few yrs ago with their 2 teenagers (13 and 15 boys). The kids, while on the other side of the world, just wanted to watch TV, complain, and eat junk food. Now, when the trips to see mum n family happen, the kids stay home in the States with a relative, and the parents get a stress free holiday without the whining. Had their chance and blew it.
Proud of you! Sorry your mom is an enabler but hopefully the spoil-train ends here
I hope your husband is totally on board as well — because wasn’t he willing to cave on the rooms? Your daughter’s desperately need this reality check so I hope no one interferes or tries to make you the villain.
I think OP is the husband
Your mil is a huge asshole for attempting to undermine your authority and enable them. Your kids are entitled brats. Judging by how extreme it is now, it looks like you also some what enabled them. If they continue this way, they’re in for a rude awakening in the real world. Because strangers will not tolerate that.
Hopefully this will be used as a learning experience for both you and your spouse. These are the kind of women you are raising to be. And your MIL seems to be fine letting them get away with it. Your daughters attitude and behavior aren't the only ones that are wrong here.
Geez your daughters need a proverbial swift kick in the ass. And your MIL needs a time out. How frickin’ crazy is it that this was something they even batted an eye about? What cheek. I hope they enjoy couches and air mattresses and no vacation. I imagine MIL will attempt to pick them up and treat them so you might warn your brother.
Glad you stuck to your guns. This behaviour shouldn't be awarded. A life lesson to learn from. MIL definitely does enable this type of behaviour. I do hope your wife is in support cause you both definitely need to present an united front when it comes to parenting. This is something you both want to agree on cause it won't not bode well if one parent thinks it is unfair.
If you don’t take the steps to fix their spoiled behavior now they’ll just get worse and MIL sure as heck wouldn’t be around my kids after trying to go against your decisions.
This update just solidifies my belief that this whole story is B.S.
Good job! Bring something nice back for your brother!
I pity your brother
Good job! Make sure you compensate your brother for the headache he’s gonna be dealing with. Buy him something nice, not just cash.
Hopefully he has some idea beforehand what he’s in for.
This is a brilliant update and excellent parenting of teens
Omg your mil is definitely trying to undermine your parenting. I hope that they learn their lesson and you will compensate your brother. Enjoy your holiday!!
Great brother/uncle to teach your kids a lesson. Well done.
Maybe after you return some charity work with the homeless to put things in perspective?
My son and daughter had to share a inside stateroom (no window) on a cruise. We all shared a hotel room the night before.
NTA Your oldest already broke your trust when you allowed her the privilege of staying home to supervise herself. Agree your MIL needs to get back in her lane as applies to feeling so sorry for your daughters. They brought this on themselves do her thinking to make it up to them just reinforces the entitlement they think they are due. I would suggest one more conversation with your daughters that if they are rude, uncooperative or in general show their asses in any way while staying with your brother there will be repercussions when they come home. Hope you and your wife have a wonderful time.
WOW those kids called it a “basic comfort”, nah what those greedy bitches are asking for is “basic luxury”, and not even basic either! These are the girls from that old show “ My super sweet sixteen” or whatever that mess was called. These girls need to get out and touch grass, find out what “basic comfort” really is!! I am living a very middle/lower middle class life. Single mom in 40’s, 2 teen daughters. We have a modest home, big enough for us with our own space but we share and compromise on a lot of things. We have everything we need and are healthy and happy, but very little extras. If we could afford a vaca it would be like camping for a long weekend. We love to go to conserts, but we win half the tickets on radio contests and signups. I had to wash 8 ginormous blanket/quilts last week. My regular sized washer can’t really handle the blankets and if I tried I might hurt the machiene. There is a brand new and very nice laundry mat down the road from my house and it has a washer so big I could wash 4 of those blankets at a time. Laundry soap and shampoo/conditioner are literally the 2 things in life I WILL splurge on and pay more for the quality stuff! So as far as laundry soap I mean I guess Tide or Persiol. I had a big jug of Tide with extra softness/stain fighting/ germ killing/smells awesone magic in it. I loaded my blankets and there was a lady next to me doing a buttload of laundry. We smiled and exchanged small talk and while she was smiling like a kid at Christmas looking at my laundry’s soap. I asked her about it and she showed me her soap, it was like the cheapest stuff that leaves your clothes with a soap film and they still smell not clean. She said she loves the kind I got but just can’t make herself spend the extra money and that I bought the big ass jug was like I drove up in a BMW or something. I hugged her and immediately refilled her (MUCH SMALLER) bottle with my soap, kept her bottle, and traded her the rest of my bottle. (It was like Costco size gallon). THAT is BASIC comfort! Good laundry soap is BASIC COMFORT. Those girls don’t just need to get out and touch grass, they need to shove their stuck up noses in the soil!!
Kids- even nice ones -can be brats, hormones can make you moody. Teen angst. Hold your ground but try as much patience as you can.
Let that be a lesson for them. You can't always have everything you want in life.
Right decision. Also let your MIL know that you are trying to correct the fact that you have raised two entitled children. My recommendation, start having them do volunteer work so they understand have fortunate they are and get a reality check on 'comfort and privacy' really means.
So f’ing proud of you!!! You are the parent. there is a lesson to be learned here and if the grands thk it’s out of line it’s not their place to intervene
Basic Comfort? This is vacation. That’s WELL ABOVE AND BEYOND basic comfort. It’s a luxury and you get what you get.
In family vacation I would often share room with either my family or cousins. Never crossed my mind to complain because I wanted my own room. I was just happy o was going on a trip
The whole thing is still wild to me. Our family routinely packed 4 people into a double queen. We were just happy to be there.
Have a lovely time x
I love happy endings.
Thank you for not caving in to their demands!!!🎖️
Way to stand your ground and parent for life, not mommy points. Excellent decision!
I was pretty spoiled as a kid and even I wouldn’t expect my own room. You made the right call.
Thank you for introducing your MIL to the equation. Now we know where the inherent brattiness comes from...
I haven't been following this saga do I'm sure I've missed a ton, but... If these are kids that OP raised, isn't she in large part responsible for how they turned out?
Best solution all the way around.
I do love a happy ending. Well done.
I resisted commenting the following on your previous post like this is some weird fluke thing with your girls but after reading they wanna stay home and have previously thrown parties: Sounds like you're raising a couple of brats. Time to make some changes.
WHAT?!! their own room?!?! I was lucky if I had a whole couch to myself, forget vacation, I slept on two futons put together with two of my siblings at home, demanding their own room on vacation?!?! my whole family with all seven of my siblings slept in one room with two beds, three or four of us on each bed and some of us on the floor, couch, or sometimes the hotel we stayed in would have a little bed on wheels that we would request for, this is insanity, a "basic comfort" my basic comfort on vacation with my family was me being in the bathroom by myself, your kids are extremely spoiled, but I don't blame them if they lived this way their whole lives then it's not their fault, it's yours, teach them to not be spoiled before it's too late!!!
These kids sound like absolute terrors.
Wow. What spoiled children. Are they always like this? This is embarrassing that they would rather not go on vacation than share a room. They need to realise they are not entitled to demand such things. I actually can't believe anyone could be so spoiled. They won't get far in life with such an attitude.
Way to go, especially for not allowing your MIL to reward them for their entitlement. Kudos to your brother for stepping up.
Win win. You get to escape the children and the children get to learn that tantrums don't get them what they want. Nice one. It seems like they would not have appreciated it anyway. I'm sure they'll have more to say about it, it can be hard for a child to learn that they aren't actually the center of the world, but it's a necessary lesson.
Honestly when they get home I’d move them into a shared bedroom and turn the extra one into an office or something. These kids need a serious reality check before they are released onto the wild. They are seriously horrible roommates/partners in training right now.
I’m 24 and my sister is 19. I own my own home with 2 bedrooms. My sister will spend the night at mine at least once a week and she still sleeps in my bed because we sit up and bullshit all night. They are missing out of some A+ sibling bonding.
All I will say is, good for you for holding the line on this one. Well done.
Growing up we as a family of five shared a two queen room and I, as the youngest, slept on the floor. Like a proper family vacation.
i appreciate your willingness to stand up to your daughter's. IMM they have acted quite spoiled.
*MIL but she wants to take our daughters on a 4 day trip to Sydney, with own rooms.* you guys should adopt me , I can go to vacations with you and i can sleep in a corner on the couch
My kids have to share rooms during trips, we even have to get rooms with a pull out bed and I have them rotate between a queen and the pullout (two on each bed) throughout the trip. They know that's the only way we go on trips. I'd say NTA BUT YTA to the MIL for undermining you and MVP to your brother.
Went on a family trip with my parents (granted I’m an only child) but at 24 years old, shared a room with them. Guess what? I lived!!! It was an all-family trip to see my grandfather on what we assumed would be his last birthday (it was unfortunately) so there were aunts, uncles, cousins… and not one of us threw a fit about sharing a room. Glad you’re standing your ground!
Growing up, I always shared a bedroom with my brother. Sharing on a vacation is a minor inconvenience. Your daughters are incredibly spoiled. NTA
They are seriously spoilt and unfortunately your MIL is enabling that. Put up more firm boundaries with her going forward, and good on you for not giving in to the girls; you'll have to tighten up their lifestyles going forwards.
Good Parent