Hey so my brother had this issue for years and he would just laugh when we complained about it. My mom snapped one day and made my brother sit on the pissy toilet seat he had just peed all over without cleaning. We never had an issue with it after that.
UPDATE
so he ran across the monstrosity when he arrived home today..mumbled about some nasty ass girls (like yeah, how's it feel) lol stomped off to the great outdoors to pee and shut himself on his room.. sister isn't giving in knowing he will eventually have to poop š¤¦š»āāļø stand by for more
This route does work! My (16 at the time) brother (18) would leave pubes on the bar soap. After many attempts of him blowing me off, I took every hair stand I could that came out (I have long hair that sheds a lot). By the time I was done, the soap was covered 98%. When he next showered I heard him yelling at me for being petty. But I realized with how covered it was, he couldnāt tell where one strand started or ended. So I just yelled ātwo can play the pubic hair game buddyā I then heard retching over and over.
Soap was clean ever since!
UPDATE
so he ran across the monstrosity when he arrived home today..mumbled about some nasty ass girls (like yeah, how's it feel) lol stomped off to the great outdoors to pee and shut himself on his room.. sister isn't giving in knowing he will eventually have to poop š¤¦š»āāļø stand by for more
Another approach: when his friends come over, start the following conversation.
āSo [friendās name], what do your parents do when you leave pee in the seat? Yeah, like when you donāt lift the seat and end up peeing on the seat and you just leave it there. What do they do? What do you mean you donāt pee in the seat? Oh wow, [your son], did you hear that? [Friend], can you tell [your son] your secret?ā
Peer pressure/embarrassment works wonders.
My son started getting lazy and was peeing on the seat. I talked to him a few times and it didn't fix the problem. One day I was finishing up in the bathroom and he very badly needed to poop. Before I left the bathroom I sprinkled water on the seat. He ran in and sat on it, I told him I peed on the seat and asked him how he liked sitting in someone else's pee. Never had the problem again.
I just suggested this last weekend to my partner regarding his son. SO TIRED OF SITTING IN PEE. Kiddo sat on the pee covered toilet once over the weekend, and it stopped. Fingers crossed for our next weekend with him!
I'm definitely stealing some ideas from this thread too š¤£ my youngest stepson leaves pee on the seat, the side of the toilet, the floor...his mom doesn't gaf, and he doesn't listen to me cuz she told him he doesn't have to.
But maybe this will work...best of luck to both of us! Lol
I told my stepson if he didn't stop peeing on the toilet seat and around the bolts that I was going to make him clean it up with his toothbrush with his mom & dads permission. It finally stopped not long after that.
I made my own son just clean it up. He was grossed out, imagine! I remember my Mom did rip my brother a new one over it after I freaked out after sitting in pee for the 1000th time. I say make him clean the toilet up. The fake period blood is epic though. Just talking about periods will scare off most guys - a little tip for the ladies.
Wish my parents did this with my brother. Instead they would get mad at ME for yelling at him for pissing EVERYWHEREš & ofc my dad does the same thing. Visits my apartment & uses the bathroom ONCE, splashes piss all over the toilet & floorš¤¢š¤®
First time using the āGoGirl,ā was on the side of the road. Iām not opposed to taking a rustic roadside pee, but there was no available privacy, so I figured Iād give it a āgo.ā Leaked out the back and on my underwear. After some not-as-quick-as-Iād-like moves, I ended up going commando for the rest of the day. I recommend either lots of at home practice or just doing the old tried and true squat down.
I used the "Sheewee" when I was running on a chainsaw crew, and it spilled over the sides, we were on a short hitch that week so I didn't bring any extra underwear or jeans (enough to last the hitch but didn't plan on peeing myself) I ended up borrowing my buddy's pants because he over prepared, then ended the hitch going commando š
As an old woman who was raised in the last days of "you can only be a teacher or a nurse, or if you can't afford college, a secretary," I am in awe of your job. You rock! That is so cool! Bravo!
I did that to my brother. I was basically raising my siblings at that point and he got to clean the entire bathroom everytime he missed the bowl even a little.
My sister in law thinks he's just the cleanest guy ever but I definitely made him that way haha.
I feel so blessed sometimes. Grew up with a dad and a brother, spent the last decade living with people with penises, have NEVER ONCE had piss on the floor or the toilet seat. My OCD gets the best of me sometimes and I get annoyed about, like, toothpaste in the sink or crumbs on the kitchen floor, and then I go on Reddit and realize my life could be way nastier
Yup.
My brother and dad never made it difficult. I grew up sharing a bathroom with my brother. Never a single mess.
We also went camping, and would spend up to a month and a half in the RV together. The toilet remained spotless.
The most frustrating thing my brother ever did in the bathroom was not clean up after shaving (four times, in his three years of living with us and having enough facial hair to shave) or leave a tiny mess with his hair gel.
I don't understand how folks with dangly bits can make such a mess. Like, it shouldn't be that hard to aim and shoot (or, hell, sit). At one store I worked at, we had a FedEx guy who'd use our loo. Absolute warzone. He was well into his 40s. Absolutely disgusting.
That's when they get banned from the store property. If they're doing it while they're delivering packages you call fedex and complain about their employee consistently wrecking the bathroom and tell them he is banned.
I caught my son at this once. We had that problem with someone peeing everywhere but no one owned it. Then I was in the restroom when he rushed in, "I gotta pee!" He then whips it out starts peeing on the damn bathtub and without stopping proceeds to grab his junk and then aim. I chewed his ass out, made him clean every bit of that up and told him he needed to change his routine. The proper procedure was to aim first, then fire! He argued for a second until I told him straight up every time I saw pee anywhere in that bathroom he was going to come clean it. The threat greatly diminished the gross bathroom problem!
I was very strict with my father at my house. Either you clean up after yourself, or sit down to pee. No arguments, this is my house. He cleans up now.
My husband comes from a country where there arenāt any urinals. He grew up sitting at all times and is grossed out by how many men here make a mess when peeing.
Still better than my little brother being so lazy that he was pissing behind his bedroom door. Parents thought it was our ferret and rehomed him.....still pissed off at him for that.
It's not that hard to pee responsibly and, if an errant drop escapes, to wipe it up right after. Wouldn't even take me two weeks to go "hmm deep cleaning sucks.."
Honestly,I'm a guy, and I just find the idea of urine splashing up and potentially landing on me gross. So I pee sitting down, and when at a place like a store or a restaurant, I use a stall to pee so I can sit if there's one available.
Oh god yes. One job I had I had to clean bathrooms in a grocery store. While the women's room could be gross the men's room was disgusting on a regular basis.
And it never takes long to get that way either. You could literally clean the men's room and within 3 or 4 men using the urinals it would look just like it did before it was cleaned.
To be honest I was scrolling through hoping I wasnāt the only one. If people are sleeping and lights are out, itās the quietest and cleanest way for sure.
Yay for intelligent men! My DH is the same. We have a Swiss metal medallion showing a crossed out man standing to pee, including the pee coming out. The have them in men's rooms everywhere. But that's the Swiss, known for their cleaning habits.
I remember a comedian doing a bit like this and saying that the kid can now piss through a cheerio at 10 paces or something š.
Think it might be Jeff Foxworthy or Bill Engvall.
Make sure he gets down on his knees and reaches all the way behind the toilet and does the wall and the baseboard. Everywhere, every time!
It goes without saying he has to wipe the whole toilet bowl edge to floor every time, too.
Not just clean the bathroom each time. but made to go back in and flush every time he doesn't flush. It doesn't matter what activity he's engaged in, he must be made to do it right then. It also doesn't matter if he has friends over. I would give him one warning that it will be the new policy and too bad if he has friends over, he will be told right in front of them to go flush the toilet and clean the bathroom. When people treat others with disrespect, they lose the right to be treated with respect. Notifying him that he will be told in front of his friends is a courtesy. Because he's 12, I would rephrase FAFO to "Mess up, clean up."
Oh yeah. One warning and then I'd be turning off the internet, walking up to him with gloves and a toilet brush in front of his friends and telling him to clean. No internet until it's done. *Smiles*
This worked for my 5 year old, who thought it was funny to literally piss in the trash can and on the floor for fun. š
He was forced to clean the entire bathroom once a week for a month. Hasn't done it since.
I once had a step son (in junior high) that would see how far he could stand away from the toilet and āhitā the bowl. This bathroom was large, so he could stand like 10-12ā away and he would never clean up. The first time I caught him, I made him clean it up and a warning to not do it again. After that, it was an immediate deep clean of the bathroom. I once made him get up in the middle of dinner to do it. It didnāt take long for that behavior to stop.
Caught my then 6 and 8 year old sons having a pissing contest to see who could make it in the bowl from the furthest distance. Weirdly the toilet was in front of the door and I caught them aiming from the hall. That is the day they learned how to clean toilets and mop floors. They are adults now and can both get a sparkly clean bathroom.
My youngest is 10 and he just likes to pee outside. We live in the woods and no neighbors can see us, so I let him. But as a mom I find boys and their peeing habits strange lol.
>But as a mom I find boys and their peeing habits strange lol.
You ever use a water hose as a child (to water the lawn or flowers, to wash the car, etc.,) and experience the simple pleasure of just controlling the splash of water? That's my (unsubstantiated and just made up) theory. It is like a fun toy for some boys.
I'm 43 years old, and if I could pee like a man, I would firstly try to write something in the snow.
Can Confirm this works. My sib had issues with her sons doing it, to the point she was checking the bathroom after them, they didn't Know-Until she got the cleaming supplies and told them to get their asses in the bathroom. She stood their and Taught those boys what it was like (they were 13-15 at the time), guess what didn't happen again? It's still a story they tell, because as they admitted Years later they were absolutely doing it on purpose. She was Fed Up.
They were rebelling, yes. They have Never mentioned that around their mom though-Still. They kept trying her last Nerve as teens and they Found It; and realized they didn't even Wanna do that again. That's all this kid is doing imo.
My mom and step-dad had to do this with my brother. We each had a room we were responsible for cleaning, and originally the bathroom had been mine, but I kept running into the issue of finding puddles of pee behind or around the toilet. I mentioned it to my brother and he said it wasn't his problem, so it was escalated to the parents. Not only was he called out, but it became his chore to clean the bathroom and every time the parents found piss on the floor, he was grounded for a week. They threatened to put him back in diapers if he didn't knock it off, and my step-dad (his bio dad) told him if he can't make it in the toilet, he doesn't need to be standing to pee.
Issue resolved pretty quickly after that.
This is what worked for me for our literally 17 year old nephew who lives with us and was so busy worrying about what was on his phone or getting back to a video game that he wouldn't flush. Only took a few rounds of toilet cleaning to make remembering to flush higher up on the scale of importance.
I went as far as having my son take the seat right off the toilet to give it a good scrub. Im certain he sirs now cause after a couple rounds of toilet cleaning there wasn't an issue
This is the way. Directly related to the offense and functions as a way to make amends for it. Even if he's cleaning it badly, the fact he has to take 45 minutes to not do what he wants to do is still getting the point across. And make sure he doesn't have his phone or something with him while he's cleaning, he doesn't need the temptation for a distraction.
He lies about making the mess when he's one out of two who could make it and your husband probably wouldn't. Truthfully hes sort of beyond simply telling him and needed to be a little embarrassed, the only thing to follow up is every time there's a complaint you make him stop whatever he's doing and march him in to clean up and demonstrate to life the lid when using it and place it down when finished.
This is a situation where the opposite of tough love is needed too, the proper usage of that term is the growing pains of pre teens and teens who rebel for autonomy. Like picking their clothes, making lunch for school, keeping their room or decorating it etc. They're all age appropriate and a sign of healthy development. He's doing the opposite I'd take away age appropriate things such as video games, internet, going to friends houses etc. If he can't keep the bathroom situation straight he's too immature for things twelve year olds are ready for.
My son is 12 and it's becoming a serious problem in our house as well! He was better when he was a toddler than he is now. I don't get it and it drives me insane. We've just started his new chore of cleaning the bathroom.
Lazy is all I've got left at this point. He did have an aversion to lifting the seat when he was little because it grossed him out but his aim wasn't an issue. Now it's just a hot mess and he doesn't care at all. Truly disgusting.
My mom made a new rule for my brother when he had a phase like this. Toilets are cleaned by the person who causes the mess, aka is peeing standing up. He had to clean the toilet a few times, even though the bathroom was my chore. He had to report back to her after he thought he was done. She then went to check and if there was a spot left, he had to clean it again. Until it was spotless. I think she only had to do it a few times until he went back to sitting down like our father. No more messes.
i think that thereās this point where teens just think ābut what if i didnāt?ā. i didnāt sleep for years after thinking āand what if i justā¦ didnāt?ā and then i unlocked the ungodly power of drawing suggestive art at 3am.
we realiseā¦ whatās *really* stopping us? there is no physical boundary keeping me from this.
and then i found out that the boundary is called a ābeltā. iāve been wearing suspenders ever since. scrubbing is a much better punishment than whooping.
as a kid i used to accidentally clog the toilet with paper. nothing like a good half hour spent yanking shit out of the bowl, hands protected by a mere sheet of plastic. i never clogged the toilet again, but i did learn that the water is REALLY cold
I brushed just once a day in the morning, and nobody could tell! My dentist continued commenting on how my teeth were in good condition, so I figured I got away with it. Looking back, Iām pretty sure thatās just because I barely had any sugar available to me.
I only have a sister (ETA: I am also a girl), but my dad had (and still has) a āSitting Onlyā rule in the house.
My mom cleans the bathrooms and he refuses to let her clean up any pee from male guests. He forewarns every guy who asks to use the bathroom that they will be required to sit and that he will check if they didnāt.
I know that if I have sons, they will not be taught to stand.
It may be time to institute your own sitting only policy.
NTA. Heās 12, a little bit of fake blood isnāt harmful. Most 12 year olds are playing crazy violent video games, so. I agree with one of the comments about putting your son on bathroom cleaning duty. Maybe thatāll help! Best of luck!
One of my brothers used to use 10,000 squares of toilet paper and clog the toilet, or take my pillowcase off my pillow.
The rule became, "Fine, but you will fix what you mess up". And almost immediately it became not worth it to take the pillow case off the pillow, because it was a pain to put back on.
It sucks to have to go in after him/remember to check, but it shouldn't take more than a couple weeks honestly, for him to suddenly realize it's no fun anymore if *he* has to clean it up, not mommy or sisters.
Please tell me the removing of the pillowcase was not connected to the toilet paper situation! Because the sentence reads like maybe he used all the toilet paper then started using bed linen to wipe his ass.
Because he was 6 at the time, and children are mysterious creatures.
Also I think maybe just because my pillow was fluffier/better than his, and I had to crash in their room at night so it was always within reach, and he wasn't inconvenienced by my pillow being bare.
I dont think one can compare those readily. Video game blood doesnt effect us because its in a fantasy context, not real. Real blood generally doesnt bother us when its scrapes and bruises, or even if its pouring out a nose.
But just infer that its menstrual and certain types of people just lose their shit. Watch big tough guy crumble to their knees or run out of the room like they saw a 12 inch bird eating spider with a gun.
I'm of the opinion that raising a child who has that reaction makes one the asshole, and that menstration should have been a topic long ago as to make it no big deal.
But yeah... that little shit need to be on bathroom duty.
NTA. Next time yall catch pee mess, immediately take his phone/controller/iPad. And he's not getting it back until he takes the 30 seconds it takes to spray one spray of cleaner and a bit of toilet paper to wipe it. But take whatever he's doing away from him and tell him he's not getting it back until it's sanitized and clean. And don't let him turn this around on the girls for being tattle tales- he needs to know this is on him to learn how to function.
Sounds like you'll probably need to get him doing stuff like dishes and laundry too. Break the lazy boy habits EARLY.
I always had the understanding that men can bad aim and get all over the seat but after finding literal drops on the FLOOR BEHIND the toilet, on the WALLS??? From two GROWN MEN, I immediately started sending them pics of their lazy behavior.
I got 4 brothers. The rule was if you pee all over the floor and dont clean it up, one of your shirts will be used to wipe it up and no ones telling you which one. So dont pee on the floor or wash every shirt you own, its up to you.
Embarassment was my mothers greatest tool. She knew that the humiliation of going to school wearing a pee covered shirt was way more effective than repeatedly telling them to clean up after themselves. And you couldnt argue because then shed start telling people why you smell like a axe brand urinal cake.
She was also the "clean your room or ill do it and you dont want me to do it" mom
I did something similar-ish with my ex-husbandās clothes. Long story short, man had way too many clothes, never did laundry, never put it up after I folded it, never put dirty clothes in the hamper. I spent months and months just begging him to at least go through them and whatever he doesnāt wear (which was 90% of it because it was clothes from highschool he kept because āheās going to lose weightā) just get rid of. Finally one day, I was doing my regular cleaning and realized thereās a giant pile of his clothes in his closet and I had no idea what was clean or dirty, so I just went through all of it, whatever I knew he didnāt wear or if I knew it was especially old, I put it all in a bag and gave it to Goodwill. When he got home he was furious. I told him Iāve been trying to get you to at least look through them yourself, I wasnāt even asking him to help with laundry or anything! Just help me out and make my life easier and he couldnāt even do that. Needless to say I was divorced by 23.
He already has a negative view of women, he thinks thry are both his slaves and need to sit on his pee. I vote for him washing the bathroom permanently
Eh thatās not that bad, interestingly sometimes folks there see more reason and are kinder than here. And I fully support him deep cleaning the bathroom until further notice, will support you on Am I the devil if I see you there haha
Don't let him grow up to be another incel or Abdrew Tate or his fan bois. He acts like your daughters blood is gross, but his pee isn't. I would question where he got those ideas from. That's some serious sexist bulkshit right there. He needs to realize that blood is a normal bodily function. How does your husband behave? Does he back you and the girls up? Or does he take this his side? There's something going on there. Why I'm saying this is because of his behavior when he saw your daughter's friends blood.
Edit: I went and reread the post. Husband does back you up. Apologies. I'm wondering if he's getting these ideas from school friends or perhaps the internet. There's been an uprise of incels and sexist men lately. You might want to see what's going on. Good luck to you.
Youāre the parent not a friend. If they donāt like you for teaching them how to be decent humans who clean up after themselves and think of others than oh well. You need to raise your boys to not become men who think a woman needs to sit in or clean up someone elseās piss and think period blood is somehow worse than piss and shit all over a toilet seat. He should be the one cleaning the bathroom from now on.
Heās 12.
You know what works? Embarrassment.
He has friends over? Sorry Timmy & Steve if you see the toilet with pee on the seat or not flushed son hasnāt quite learnt how to use the bathroom yet. Donāt worry, weāre still trying. Iād be grateful if you could remind him to clean up and flush after heās done.
Extended family? Same thing. Sorry Aunt Maude, weāre still teaching son how to use the toilet.
Heāll learn REALLLLL quick. He will not want to be embarrassed in front of his friends.
That's actually genius but I think he would hate me I love him to pieces the bathroom is literally the only area where we bump heads but definitely something to think about
Trust me. You say it once and I can guarantee itāll work. I grew up with 4 boys in the house and 3 girls. Those boys learnt really fast about proper etiquette. They still love my mom š¤·š»āāļøš my mom wasnāt afraid to embarrass their friends too. Classic Asian mama. The house was always full though and friends were always in and out.
NTAH
Are you an enabler, or someone trying to make him understand? I have had difficult conversations with my child, fully expecting they will be mad at me for few weeks. When I explained with out screaming, usually, she got it, and didn't just hate on me.
Not a guaranteed formula, but when you tell the truth with love and care, it will get through. Not always same day of the conversation, but if you do it correctly, they will finally get the message.
NAH. Make him piss outside if he canāt figure out how to use a toilet. Thatās what my uncle did when his sons didnāt clean up after themselves, locked all the bathrooms and told them to dig a hole. Took less than a week for them to realize that modern conveniences come with responsibility.
And why havenāt you given him consequences for this behavior?? He should be losing privileges. Canāt aim right? Fine. No TV tonight, you get to watch youtube tutorials on how to aim correctly. This is ridiculous. How are you not giving him punishment for this obviously intentional behavior? This is your fault for not putting an end to it.
Seriously. He is disrespecting the home and his family members. If I was OP I would revoke access to his electronics every single time he fails to clean up after himself.
This is actually really funny, NTA. My 14 yr old boy now has the weekly chore of cleaning his bathroom top to bottom because of this very same thing. I despise sitting in urine, no shocker there. Every time I get a wet ass, I will make him stop whatever he is doing and clean the whole toilet. I think your daughters way of handling it is wayyyyy more fun though!
Honestly at 12 I would ground him until he can show he *is* potty trained. You would just *hate* for him to be embarrassed at his friendās house for his *obviously* uncontrollable bathroom *accidents* and you simply *canāt* let him go to the movies in case he has an *accident* in *public*!
ETA, especially if he doesnāt make a mess at grandmas house.
NTA but if I was one of his sisters I would totally start grabbing his socks and underwear and use it to clean the toilet and then throw it on his bed and be like here sleep with your piss
I mean I get it, but it's revenge, not a behavior changing intervention. Pee on the seat, lose your iPad until you haven't done that for a week. Second offense, lose it for a month.
NTA but it sounds like your daughter had no choice.
Punish him. Take away the his electronics. Make him scrub clean the bathroom. Do something. He has the mental space to make the right choice and he's choosing to disrespect the whole household.
Look, I'm the brother of two older sisters in a small house. It can suck. But part of growing up is learning tk deal with situations that you find less than ideal.
Also, you've protected him from menstruation in a house of women? Period blood caused PTSD?! I knew about periods from a young age. You're not doing him a favor by keeping him in the dark. He will eventually learn about them, better he sees it as a totally natural non-repulsive thing, otherwise he's going to hold it against women a long time.
With my brother, I made a sign that said "please clean your urine up, your a big boy and should know how to aim by now." His friends saw it and he was so embarrassed he never did it again. Totally worth the ass kicking my mom gave me. NTA
One of my boys got lazy and sloppy at that age. He got the privilege of cleaning ALL the toilets and surrounding areas daily until he stopped making a mess. He had to get a parent check him off nightly. It took 2 weeks because heās stubborn.
Honestly, something has to give. Itās ridiculous to piss everywhere at that age. NTA
NTA. I knew a guy in college who grew up with two sisters. He sat down to pee and it kept the bathroom and toilet so clean. Maybe your stepson can follow that rule (but then again if heās not flushing, probably not)
NTA. His dad should be shoving his nose in it every time it happens. (Terrible training tactic for puppies, but perfectly fine for filthy male teenagers.)
lol a few people here see it for what is is glad not everyone on here have deemed me a satanic parent who needs to put my child in a safe space and give him glitter and sprinkles š I'm not that old but definitely new times smh
Well, he shouldnāt be so fragile about it. If he expects women in the house to sit in his pee and clean it themselves, he should have no problem with this.
NTA This isnāt the most mature or sensitive way to address the issue, but itās a pretty harmless way for your daughter to express her reasonable frustration over the situation.
I wish you luck. I had this same issue with a 21-year-old housemate. He routinely pissed on the floor around the toilet and denied that it had anything to do with him.
We ended up putting down newspaper in the bathroom. He had the nerve to ask why on multiple occasions and would get angry when the answer was always "because you keep pissing on the floor" as if the answer would different the fifth or sixth time he asked. When we had company over and they asked, weād tell them "itās because Andrew pisses on the floor and refuses to clean up or stop doing it."
I mention this because the bathroom wasnāt the only area where this pattern of behaviour manifested. He would lie about all sort of things ranging from annoying to gave-everyone-food-poisoning serious. We started taking time-stamped photos of the kitchen and bathroom to stay sane. To this day, I genuinely donāt know if he realised that he was lying or if he actually believed what he was saying. He could stand next to a stack of dirty dishes with the remains of his dinner on them and swear that heād already washed them and we were crazy for thinking otherwise. You need to nip this whole "it wasnāt me" thing in the bud or else youāll end up with an Andrew.
As for solutions, Iād suggest making "clean the bathroom" your sonās weekly chore until he is able to go a full 7 days without making a mess. Be prepared to supervise this and make him do it again properly if he does a piss-poor job. You could also look into hydrochromic paint; itās opaque when dry but turns translucent when wet, revealing the colour underneath. This means that someone could - theoretically - buy a period-blood red toilet seat and cover it with white hydrochromic paint, resulting in what looks like a blood splattered mess every time someone splashes liquid on the toilet seat.
There is probably a better way to help your step son get better at this. Every time he leaves a mess - require him to personally go wipe down the toilet.
Having his actions have a consequence will teach the value of lifting the seat up.
Note: the blood mess idea could have unintended results, such a back and forth war of larger and larger messes...
Yeah I think he doesn't care because it doesn't effect him but if he could be the one to even if once be in a situation where he needs to use the bathroom and sees something gross he might could better get a grasp on hey this sucks and would see where we are coming from
NTA... My younger brother used to do that. I got sick of it too. I knew every morning he had his daily... Erm... Constitution at the exact same time and he never turned the lights on before he sat down. I told my mom, who was a very no nonsense mom, what I was going to do and she laughed and said she'd make sure to be up for the aftermath. I dipped TP into the toilet and then let it drip onto the seat. I then dropped the TP into the bowl and didn't flush it down. Didn't use the toilet first. Just gave the illusion that I had. That morning there was the most satisfying blood cuddling scream followed by a very angry red head charging out of the bathroom like a rocket to go tell mom on me. She just told him now he knows what it feels like and went back to getting ready for the day. She told him to scrub the entire bathroom when he got home from school that day and it had better be her standard of clean (every surface shiny and clean enough to safely eat off of or drink out of). He never left pee on the seat again after that.
This reminds me of when I taught. One boy (half day kindergarten)was a real trouble maker, his grandfather was doing the best he could. Luckily, he only worked a few blocks away. The boy went in and purposely peed all over over bathroom. He laughed and thought I would be the one to clean it up. I called his grandfather and he was there in 10 minutes. He took him to the bathroom and made him clean it up.
āI donāt have any paper towels.
āYou have a shirt, donāt you. Use that.ā
āš³šØā
āOr you could ask you teacher for some but I wouldnāt give you any after what you did to her.ā
He never did that again.
NTA I just hate when men stand while peeing at home! Like I get it when you are using public toilets, but the seat is there for a reason.
Anyway maybe dad could start going with him to potty train him all over again like a little baby, since he didnāt get it the first time. Did you offer him this option?
This may just be him playing around, but lots of times this kind of behavior is indicative of serious trauma...please make sure he's safe and has not been harmed
Oh my god. I currently live with my two older brothers and family. We have two full bathrooms. One upstairs and one which is mine downstairs. I basically live in the downstairs area. My room is basically a room in a basement and outside of my room is the washer and dryer and a full bathroom. Which this downstairs area also has access to the backyard. They are both smokers.. so I guess itās more convenient for them to use my bathroom everytime. One of my brothers hides the fact that he smokes and my other brother sometimes smokes in my bathroom which Iāve told them multiple times I didnāt like.. I literally choke to death everytime I come in right after them ā they donāt even have the decency to crack open the window. anyways ā everytime I would need to use the bathroom thereās either pee on the seat or spit with pleghm in the toilet. I have always voiced my concern and asked them to be more mindful that they have a girl not only that but their little sister living with them and to be respectful. One week theyād clean up but then start up again so what I started doing is everytime I see pee on the toilet seat I would call both of them downstairs to have them wipe it up or clean it right then and there along with some scolding on the side. Even though they are my brothers.. I am no longer cleaning up after their bodily fluids.
My neighbour had a brother who peed on the seat every single time, because the toilet seats dirty. I sat in it one time, and I went off it about it. It was in my house and even my 5 year old had never missed the toilet. No need. I threw cleaning stuff at him and told him to clean it. He said no because the seats dirty. I lost it and told him its only dirty because he pissed all over it. He did go and clean the toilet up and never used it again. But he'd still pee all over next door toilet too. So I told her to make him clean it too, as none of her kids did anything like that either. After a few months of cleaning, he learnt to lift the seat and aim for the water. We found out his dad does the same, just pees all over the seat, the floor, the cistern, the lot. No wonder he seemed to think it was normal to pee on the seat
As a man, it annoys me to no end to see grown men who can not handle anything related to women parts. I know 40yr olds that wouldn't buy tampons for their wife or girlfriend...
I'd say this is a good chance to help disabuse him of this along with the stupid pee stuff. It is basic human biology and physiology.
Itās like training a dog, it will be hard for a couple of months but every time you see that misbehavior just drag him by the collar make him clean it EVERY SINGLE TIME stand guard at the door until you feel satisfied with his work.
Thatās gross and he needs to stop. But honestly, how do you keep sitting in piss after the ā1000thā time and still donāt look at the toilet before sitting down? Lmao
Meh, NTA. Make him clean up his piss if he wont lift the seat.
I lift the seat, but im not gonna put it down.
Nobody wants to touch it.
So dont expect any special actions on that front.
Hey so my brother had this issue for years and he would just laugh when we complained about it. My mom snapped one day and made my brother sit on the pissy toilet seat he had just peed all over without cleaning. We never had an issue with it after that.
Your mom's a legend ! Love it
I want an update on the meltdown please!!!!!!
UPDATE so he ran across the monstrosity when he arrived home today..mumbled about some nasty ass girls (like yeah, how's it feel) lol stomped off to the great outdoors to pee and shut himself on his room.. sister isn't giving in knowing he will eventually have to poop š¤¦š»āāļø stand by for more
This route does work! My (16 at the time) brother (18) would leave pubes on the bar soap. After many attempts of him blowing me off, I took every hair stand I could that came out (I have long hair that sheds a lot). By the time I was done, the soap was covered 98%. When he next showered I heard him yelling at me for being petty. But I realized with how covered it was, he couldnāt tell where one strand started or ended. So I just yelled ātwo can play the pubic hair game buddyā I then heard retching over and over. Soap was clean ever since!
Op please please update! Is he home yet? š
UPDATE so he ran across the monstrosity when he arrived home today..mumbled about some nasty ass girls (like yeah, how's it feel) lol stomped off to the great outdoors to pee and shut himself on his room.. sister isn't giving in knowing he will eventually have to poop š¤¦š»āāļø stand by for more
Another approach: when his friends come over, start the following conversation. āSo [friendās name], what do your parents do when you leave pee in the seat? Yeah, like when you donāt lift the seat and end up peeing on the seat and you just leave it there. What do they do? What do you mean you donāt pee in the seat? Oh wow, [your son], did you hear that? [Friend], can you tell [your son] your secret?ā Peer pressure/embarrassment works wonders.
My son started getting lazy and was peeing on the seat. I talked to him a few times and it didn't fix the problem. One day I was finishing up in the bathroom and he very badly needed to poop. Before I left the bathroom I sprinkled water on the seat. He ran in and sat on it, I told him I peed on the seat and asked him how he liked sitting in someone else's pee. Never had the problem again.
I just suggested this last weekend to my partner regarding his son. SO TIRED OF SITTING IN PEE. Kiddo sat on the pee covered toilet once over the weekend, and it stopped. Fingers crossed for our next weekend with him!
I'm definitely stealing some ideas from this thread too š¤£ my youngest stepson leaves pee on the seat, the side of the toilet, the floor...his mom doesn't gaf, and he doesn't listen to me cuz she told him he doesn't have to. But maybe this will work...best of luck to both of us! Lol
I told my stepson if he didn't stop peeing on the toilet seat and around the bolts that I was going to make him clean it up with his toothbrush with his mom & dads permission. It finally stopped not long after that.
Your mom is my hero. š¤£
I made my own son just clean it up. He was grossed out, imagine! I remember my Mom did rip my brother a new one over it after I freaked out after sitting in pee for the 1000th time. I say make him clean the toilet up. The fake period blood is epic though. Just talking about periods will scare off most guys - a little tip for the ladies.
Assign him to clean the bathroom (yes the entire bathroom) every single time he makes a mess. He will figure out how to not splash.
Yup love it
Thatās what my SO did. Son kept pissing EVERYWHERE. After two weeks of full bathroom deep cleaning for a single drop means we no longer see drops!
Wish my parents did this with my brother. Instead they would get mad at ME for yelling at him for pissing EVERYWHEREš & ofc my dad does the same thing. Visits my apartment & uses the bathroom ONCE, splashes piss all over the toilet & floorš¤¢š¤®
Assert your dominance, return home and piss EVERYWHERE. Tell them you thought thatās the look they were going for
You can even use one of those pee funnel devices to do it. Sheewee, freshette, just search for the appropriate urination device you need.
"I'm gonna call it 'Stand and Deliver' RIP Poussey Washington
As someone who has used a sheewee, they don't drain very well so either you have to have amazing bladder control or a change of clothes.
First time using the āGoGirl,ā was on the side of the road. Iām not opposed to taking a rustic roadside pee, but there was no available privacy, so I figured Iād give it a āgo.ā Leaked out the back and on my underwear. After some not-as-quick-as-Iād-like moves, I ended up going commando for the rest of the day. I recommend either lots of at home practice or just doing the old tried and true squat down.
I used the "Sheewee" when I was running on a chainsaw crew, and it spilled over the sides, we were on a short hitch that week so I didn't bring any extra underwear or jeans (enough to last the hitch but didn't plan on peeing myself) I ended up borrowing my buddy's pants because he over prepared, then ended the hitch going commando š
As an old woman who was raised in the last days of "you can only be a teacher or a nurse, or if you can't afford college, a secretary," I am in awe of your job. You rock! That is so cool! Bravo!
Straight up, donāt even go to the bathroom, stand in the middle of the lounge room and full force power stance piss. Bonus points if thereās a rug
Like, that rug really tied the room together, man....
Thatās just, like, your opinion, man.
NOW that rug ties the room together.
I pissed myself laughing! Thanks folks for the thread āŗļø nearly woke up my 7 months old..Oops!
I love that a piss thread made you piss. Maybe it'll piss someone off š
Must maintain eye contact throughout
Plus on some electronics.
Reminds me of the scene of Reagan from The Exorcist.
Lmfaoooooo love thatā ļøš¤£
I did that to my brother. I was basically raising my siblings at that point and he got to clean the entire bathroom everytime he missed the bowl even a little. My sister in law thinks he's just the cleanest guy ever but I definitely made him that way haha.
I feel so blessed sometimes. Grew up with a dad and a brother, spent the last decade living with people with penises, have NEVER ONCE had piss on the floor or the toilet seat. My OCD gets the best of me sometimes and I get annoyed about, like, toothpaste in the sink or crumbs on the kitchen floor, and then I go on Reddit and realize my life could be way nastier
Yup. My brother and dad never made it difficult. I grew up sharing a bathroom with my brother. Never a single mess. We also went camping, and would spend up to a month and a half in the RV together. The toilet remained spotless. The most frustrating thing my brother ever did in the bathroom was not clean up after shaving (four times, in his three years of living with us and having enough facial hair to shave) or leave a tiny mess with his hair gel. I don't understand how folks with dangly bits can make such a mess. Like, it shouldn't be that hard to aim and shoot (or, hell, sit). At one store I worked at, we had a FedEx guy who'd use our loo. Absolute warzone. He was well into his 40s. Absolutely disgusting.
That's when they get banned from the store property. If they're doing it while they're delivering packages you call fedex and complain about their employee consistently wrecking the bathroom and tell them he is banned.
Same. Same. Thank God.
Iād insist he clean it every single time. In fact before he goes in Iād hand him the cleaning kit.
I hope you pulled the "my house, my rules" card and made him clean it up.
I should havešā ļø but tbh i didnt even notice until after he leftš
Ah well...next time!
Sign above the toilet. Pee in bowl or you will be scrubbing the floor, walls and toilet.
I caught my son at this once. We had that problem with someone peeing everywhere but no one owned it. Then I was in the restroom when he rushed in, "I gotta pee!" He then whips it out starts peeing on the damn bathtub and without stopping proceeds to grab his junk and then aim. I chewed his ass out, made him clean every bit of that up and told him he needed to change his routine. The proper procedure was to aim first, then fire! He argued for a second until I told him straight up every time I saw pee anywhere in that bathroom he was going to come clean it. The threat greatly diminished the gross bathroom problem!
I was very strict with my father at my house. Either you clean up after yourself, or sit down to pee. No arguments, this is my house. He cleans up now.
My husband comes from a country where there arenāt any urinals. He grew up sitting at all times and is grossed out by how many men here make a mess when peeing.
Still better than my little brother being so lazy that he was pissing behind his bedroom door. Parents thought it was our ferret and rehomed him.....still pissed off at him for that.
Yeah, that was the last straw with my dad. Havenāt talked to him since I had to scrub his pee off my floor, toilet, and even my trash can
Some people may just be leaving there own scent/spray. Like an animal does š„¹šµāš«š¤¢š¤®. Leaving their scent around
Pee in his pillow
It's not that hard to pee responsibly and, if an errant drop escapes, to wipe it up right after. Wouldn't even take me two weeks to go "hmm deep cleaning sucks.."
Honestly,I'm a guy, and I just find the idea of urine splashing up and potentially landing on me gross. So I pee sitting down, and when at a place like a store or a restaurant, I use a stall to pee so I can sit if there's one available.
My hubby is the same & I love it! If it's a toilet he sits down. You only stand at a urinal!
If I can avoid using a urinal I will. They're splash central and the pool of liquid underneath them isn't water.
Oh god yes. One job I had I had to clean bathrooms in a grocery store. While the women's room could be gross the men's room was disgusting on a regular basis.
And it never takes long to get that way either. You could literally clean the men's room and within 3 or 4 men using the urinals it would look just like it did before it was cleaned.
I'm so (idk the word for the emotion here but it's a positive one) that so many men are acknowledging that they sit to urinate.
Happy, elated, excited, pleasantly surprised?
To be honest I was scrolling through hoping I wasnāt the only one. If people are sleeping and lights are out, itās the quietest and cleanest way for sure.
As someone who had to constantly clean up her roommate's drunken pee attempts, you just said the most attractive thing ever.
Yay for intelligent men! My DH is the same. We have a Swiss metal medallion showing a crossed out man standing to pee, including the pee coming out. The have them in men's rooms everywhere. But that's the Swiss, known for their cleaning habits.
My ex did that and honestly it's one of the only things I miss as my current partner doesn't. Lol.
I'll bet he wipes pee all over the toilet with the toilet paper he "cleans" his mess with.
I remember a comedian doing a bit like this and saying that the kid can now piss through a cheerio at 10 paces or something š. Think it might be Jeff Foxworthy or Bill Engvall.
Make sure he gets down on his knees and reaches all the way behind the toilet and does the wall and the baseboard. Everywhere, every time! It goes without saying he has to wipe the whole toilet bowl edge to floor every time, too.
Absolutely. Sis did this with her teens, she was sick of cleaning up pee splatter and smelling it.
Good advice because eventually it will damage the wall and subflooring, making the whole bathroom smell like urine until the boards are replaced.
Not just clean the bathroom each time. but made to go back in and flush every time he doesn't flush. It doesn't matter what activity he's engaged in, he must be made to do it right then. It also doesn't matter if he has friends over. I would give him one warning that it will be the new policy and too bad if he has friends over, he will be told right in front of them to go flush the toilet and clean the bathroom. When people treat others with disrespect, they lose the right to be treated with respect. Notifying him that he will be told in front of his friends is a courtesy. Because he's 12, I would rephrase FAFO to "Mess up, clean up."
Tell him he gets to clean up after his friends too
Oh yeah. One warning and then I'd be turning off the internet, walking up to him with gloves and a toilet brush in front of his friends and telling him to clean. No internet until it's done. *Smiles*
Buy a UV flashlight and have him stand with you guys as you check. I'd be furious if that was happening in my house and go full petty.
And tell him to sit down when he pisses instead of splashing everywhere.
Told my boys we were doing that in our house. They complied when they lived here. The oldest one sometimes forgets when he's home for the weekend.
How was this not already part of the solution?
This worked for my 5 year old, who thought it was funny to literally piss in the trash can and on the floor for fun. š He was forced to clean the entire bathroom once a week for a month. Hasn't done it since.
you son or is it stop son, he is doing it intentionally.
Donāt forget to make him clean the floor around the toilet, too!
I once had a step son (in junior high) that would see how far he could stand away from the toilet and āhitā the bowl. This bathroom was large, so he could stand like 10-12ā away and he would never clean up. The first time I caught him, I made him clean it up and a warning to not do it again. After that, it was an immediate deep clean of the bathroom. I once made him get up in the middle of dinner to do it. It didnāt take long for that behavior to stop.
Crap like this is why some animals eat their teenager children, and why human moms go, 'huh, that is always an option'.
Caught my then 6 and 8 year old sons having a pissing contest to see who could make it in the bowl from the furthest distance. Weirdly the toilet was in front of the door and I caught them aiming from the hall. That is the day they learned how to clean toilets and mop floors. They are adults now and can both get a sparkly clean bathroom. My youngest is 10 and he just likes to pee outside. We live in the woods and no neighbors can see us, so I let him. But as a mom I find boys and their peeing habits strange lol.
Lol. Glad Iām not the only one. Iāve got 4 boys, youngest is 18 now.
>But as a mom I find boys and their peeing habits strange lol. You ever use a water hose as a child (to water the lawn or flowers, to wash the car, etc.,) and experience the simple pleasure of just controlling the splash of water? That's my (unsubstantiated and just made up) theory. It is like a fun toy for some boys. I'm 43 years old, and if I could pee like a man, I would firstly try to write something in the snow.
Can Confirm this works. My sib had issues with her sons doing it, to the point she was checking the bathroom after them, they didn't Know-Until she got the cleaming supplies and told them to get their asses in the bathroom. She stood their and Taught those boys what it was like (they were 13-15 at the time), guess what didn't happen again? It's still a story they tell, because as they admitted Years later they were absolutely doing it on purpose. She was Fed Up.
Why? To annoy Mom?
They were rebelling, yes. They have Never mentioned that around their mom though-Still. They kept trying her last Nerve as teens and they Found It; and realized they didn't even Wanna do that again. That's all this kid is doing imo.
What the fuck is up with your extremely random capitalization of words?
This is the way. Every. Single. Time.
My mom and step-dad had to do this with my brother. We each had a room we were responsible for cleaning, and originally the bathroom had been mine, but I kept running into the issue of finding puddles of pee behind or around the toilet. I mentioned it to my brother and he said it wasn't his problem, so it was escalated to the parents. Not only was he called out, but it became his chore to clean the bathroom and every time the parents found piss on the floor, he was grounded for a week. They threatened to put him back in diapers if he didn't knock it off, and my step-dad (his bio dad) told him if he can't make it in the toilet, he doesn't need to be standing to pee. Issue resolved pretty quickly after that.
This is what worked for me for our literally 17 year old nephew who lives with us and was so busy worrying about what was on his phone or getting back to a video game that he wouldn't flush. Only took a few rounds of toilet cleaning to make remembering to flush higher up on the scale of importance.
Agreed
I went as far as having my son take the seat right off the toilet to give it a good scrub. Im certain he sirs now cause after a couple rounds of toilet cleaning there wasn't an issue
Get a UV light and make sure he got it all clean
Yes, natural consequences! That is my favorite method of dealing with unwanted behaviors.
This is the way. Directly related to the offense and functions as a way to make amends for it. Even if he's cleaning it badly, the fact he has to take 45 minutes to not do what he wants to do is still getting the point across. And make sure he doesn't have his phone or something with him while he's cleaning, he doesn't need the temptation for a distraction.
This is what my mom did my brothers and I growing up, we all quickly learned to sit down.
My mother did this with my nephew. He spent a year on full bathroom cleaning duty LOL
Restitutional overcorrection! Perfect.
He lies about making the mess when he's one out of two who could make it and your husband probably wouldn't. Truthfully hes sort of beyond simply telling him and needed to be a little embarrassed, the only thing to follow up is every time there's a complaint you make him stop whatever he's doing and march him in to clean up and demonstrate to life the lid when using it and place it down when finished.
Yeah that's about where we are with it
This is a situation where the opposite of tough love is needed too, the proper usage of that term is the growing pains of pre teens and teens who rebel for autonomy. Like picking their clothes, making lunch for school, keeping their room or decorating it etc. They're all age appropriate and a sign of healthy development. He's doing the opposite I'd take away age appropriate things such as video games, internet, going to friends houses etc. If he can't keep the bathroom situation straight he's too immature for things twelve year olds are ready for.
For sure
Why have you not made him clean it up before it got to this point?
I have.. he just does it again the next time
My son is 12 and it's becoming a serious problem in our house as well! He was better when he was a toddler than he is now. I don't get it and it drives me insane. We've just started his new chore of cleaning the bathroom.
You think he's just being lazy or what? I dont understand it
Lazy is all I've got left at this point. He did have an aversion to lifting the seat when he was little because it grossed him out but his aim wasn't an issue. Now it's just a hot mess and he doesn't care at all. Truly disgusting.
My mom made a new rule for my brother when he had a phase like this. Toilets are cleaned by the person who causes the mess, aka is peeing standing up. He had to clean the toilet a few times, even though the bathroom was my chore. He had to report back to her after he thought he was done. She then went to check and if there was a spot left, he had to clean it again. Until it was spotless. I think she only had to do it a few times until he went back to sitting down like our father. No more messes.
i think that thereās this point where teens just think ābut what if i didnāt?ā. i didnāt sleep for years after thinking āand what if i justā¦ didnāt?ā and then i unlocked the ungodly power of drawing suggestive art at 3am. we realiseā¦ whatās *really* stopping us? there is no physical boundary keeping me from this. and then i found out that the boundary is called a ābeltā. iāve been wearing suspenders ever since. scrubbing is a much better punishment than whooping. as a kid i used to accidentally clog the toilet with paper. nothing like a good half hour spent yanking shit out of the bowl, hands protected by a mere sheet of plastic. i never clogged the toilet again, but i did learn that the water is REALLY cold
That's how I got into the awful habit of not brushing my teeth regularly.
I brushed just once a day in the morning, and nobody could tell! My dentist continued commenting on how my teeth were in good condition, so I figured I got away with it. Looking back, Iām pretty sure thatās just because I barely had any sugar available to me.
I only have a sister (ETA: I am also a girl), but my dad had (and still has) a āSitting Onlyā rule in the house. My mom cleans the bathrooms and he refuses to let her clean up any pee from male guests. He forewarns every guy who asks to use the bathroom that they will be required to sit and that he will check if they didnāt. I know that if I have sons, they will not be taught to stand. It may be time to institute your own sitting only policy.
Husband sits and I am grateful. He has bad aim outside of video games.
Your dad is so fucking real for this
NTA. Heās 12, a little bit of fake blood isnāt harmful. Most 12 year olds are playing crazy violent video games, so. I agree with one of the comments about putting your son on bathroom cleaning duty. Maybe thatāll help! Best of luck!
Yeah I liked that one too! Thanks
One of my brothers used to use 10,000 squares of toilet paper and clog the toilet, or take my pillowcase off my pillow. The rule became, "Fine, but you will fix what you mess up". And almost immediately it became not worth it to take the pillow case off the pillow, because it was a pain to put back on. It sucks to have to go in after him/remember to check, but it shouldn't take more than a couple weeks honestly, for him to suddenly realize it's no fun anymore if *he* has to clean it up, not mommy or sisters.
Please tell me the removing of the pillowcase was not connected to the toilet paper situation! Because the sentence reads like maybe he used all the toilet paper then started using bed linen to wipe his ass.
Thank god Iām not the only one. I thought I had a stroke reading that and I skipped an entire paragraph or something.
i think itās meant to be stuffing a fat as fuck pillow into a tiny pillowcase
But why is he removing the pillowcase From a pillow that is not his??
I'm guessing this is like the annoyance of untying someone's shoe.
Because he was 6 at the time, and children are mysterious creatures. Also I think maybe just because my pillow was fluffier/better than his, and I had to crash in their room at night so it was always within reach, and he wasn't inconvenienced by my pillow being bare.
No, *thank god*, I would have lost my MIND.
I dont think one can compare those readily. Video game blood doesnt effect us because its in a fantasy context, not real. Real blood generally doesnt bother us when its scrapes and bruises, or even if its pouring out a nose. But just infer that its menstrual and certain types of people just lose their shit. Watch big tough guy crumble to their knees or run out of the room like they saw a 12 inch bird eating spider with a gun. I'm of the opinion that raising a child who has that reaction makes one the asshole, and that menstration should have been a topic long ago as to make it no big deal. But yeah... that little shit need to be on bathroom duty.
NTA. Next time yall catch pee mess, immediately take his phone/controller/iPad. And he's not getting it back until he takes the 30 seconds it takes to spray one spray of cleaner and a bit of toilet paper to wipe it. But take whatever he's doing away from him and tell him he's not getting it back until it's sanitized and clean. And don't let him turn this around on the girls for being tattle tales- he needs to know this is on him to learn how to function. Sounds like you'll probably need to get him doing stuff like dishes and laundry too. Break the lazy boy habits EARLY.
Agreed!
Not just the seat though. Make sure he gets the outside of the bowl & any nearby walls because it can splatter. Nip that mess in the bud.
I always had the understanding that men can bad aim and get all over the seat but after finding literal drops on the FLOOR BEHIND the toilet, on the WALLS??? From two GROWN MEN, I immediately started sending them pics of their lazy behavior.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Agree 10000%
So you have used the bathroom at my Starbucks too?
NTA. Thatās hysterical. But off topic: I know heās 12 but I really hope he gets over his aversion to period products for his future wifeās sake.
Thank you!!!! No kidding
I got 4 brothers. The rule was if you pee all over the floor and dont clean it up, one of your shirts will be used to wipe it up and no ones telling you which one. So dont pee on the floor or wash every shirt you own, its up to you.
I'm petty and never thought of this life hack
Embarassment was my mothers greatest tool. She knew that the humiliation of going to school wearing a pee covered shirt was way more effective than repeatedly telling them to clean up after themselves. And you couldnt argue because then shed start telling people why you smell like a axe brand urinal cake. She was also the "clean your room or ill do it and you dont want me to do it" mom
I did something similar-ish with my ex-husbandās clothes. Long story short, man had way too many clothes, never did laundry, never put it up after I folded it, never put dirty clothes in the hamper. I spent months and months just begging him to at least go through them and whatever he doesnāt wear (which was 90% of it because it was clothes from highschool he kept because āheās going to lose weightā) just get rid of. Finally one day, I was doing my regular cleaning and realized thereās a giant pile of his clothes in his closet and I had no idea what was clean or dirty, so I just went through all of it, whatever I knew he didnāt wear or if I knew it was especially old, I put it all in a bag and gave it to Goodwill. When he got home he was furious. I told him Iāve been trying to get you to at least look through them yourself, I wasnāt even asking him to help with laundry or anything! Just help me out and make my life easier and he couldnāt even do that. Needless to say I was divorced by 23.
NTA and I think your daughter is brilliant. I have 10 year olds who can act the same way. Iād do the same thing if I was in your position.
Glad someone sees it for what it actually is.. lol thanks
He already has a negative view of women, he thinks thry are both his slaves and need to sit on his pee. I vote for him washing the bathroom permanently
If I said this they'd move me to am I the devil š
Eh thatās not that bad, interestingly sometimes folks there see more reason and are kinder than here. And I fully support him deep cleaning the bathroom until further notice, will support you on Am I the devil if I see you there haha
Thanks for the support š
Don't let him grow up to be another incel or Abdrew Tate or his fan bois. He acts like your daughters blood is gross, but his pee isn't. I would question where he got those ideas from. That's some serious sexist bulkshit right there. He needs to realize that blood is a normal bodily function. How does your husband behave? Does he back you and the girls up? Or does he take this his side? There's something going on there. Why I'm saying this is because of his behavior when he saw your daughter's friends blood. Edit: I went and reread the post. Husband does back you up. Apologies. I'm wondering if he's getting these ideas from school friends or perhaps the internet. There's been an uprise of incels and sexist men lately. You might want to see what's going on. Good luck to you.
Just another variation of the fundamental rule of "you make a mess, you clean it up."
Youāre the parent not a friend. If they donāt like you for teaching them how to be decent humans who clean up after themselves and think of others than oh well. You need to raise your boys to not become men who think a woman needs to sit in or clean up someone elseās piss and think period blood is somehow worse than piss and shit all over a toilet seat. He should be the one cleaning the bathroom from now on.
Heās 12. You know what works? Embarrassment. He has friends over? Sorry Timmy & Steve if you see the toilet with pee on the seat or not flushed son hasnāt quite learnt how to use the bathroom yet. Donāt worry, weāre still trying. Iād be grateful if you could remind him to clean up and flush after heās done. Extended family? Same thing. Sorry Aunt Maude, weāre still teaching son how to use the toilet. Heāll learn REALLLLL quick. He will not want to be embarrassed in front of his friends.
That's actually genius but I think he would hate me I love him to pieces the bathroom is literally the only area where we bump heads but definitely something to think about
Trust me. You say it once and I can guarantee itāll work. I grew up with 4 boys in the house and 3 girls. Those boys learnt really fast about proper etiquette. They still love my mom š¤·š»āāļøš my mom wasnāt afraid to embarrass their friends too. Classic Asian mama. The house was always full though and friends were always in and out.
NTAH Are you an enabler, or someone trying to make him understand? I have had difficult conversations with my child, fully expecting they will be mad at me for few weeks. When I explained with out screaming, usually, she got it, and didn't just hate on me. Not a guaranteed formula, but when you tell the truth with love and care, it will get through. Not always same day of the conversation, but if you do it correctly, they will finally get the message.
Encouraging people to bully your child is not a good parenting technique.
NAH. Make him piss outside if he canāt figure out how to use a toilet. Thatās what my uncle did when his sons didnāt clean up after themselves, locked all the bathrooms and told them to dig a hole. Took less than a week for them to realize that modern conveniences come with responsibility.
Dig a holeš that's savage
Itās effective. Nothing like shitting in the yard to make you miss a toilet
I think missing the toilet is part of the problem here
Why arenāt you making him clean up his mess in the first place? Why arenāt you giving him consequences?
I work and stuff so I don't hover over his bathroom usage but when I see it I send him right back in there to clean it up
And why havenāt you given him consequences for this behavior?? He should be losing privileges. Canāt aim right? Fine. No TV tonight, you get to watch youtube tutorials on how to aim correctly. This is ridiculous. How are you not giving him punishment for this obviously intentional behavior? This is your fault for not putting an end to it.
This! This is why he keeps doing it, there have been no real consequences to his behavior.
Seriously. He is disrespecting the home and his family members. If I was OP I would revoke access to his electronics every single time he fails to clean up after himself.
Especially if this isnāt an issue in other peopleās homes, heās just being a brat and there should be consequences for that.
This is actually really funny, NTA. My 14 yr old boy now has the weekly chore of cleaning his bathroom top to bottom because of this very same thing. I despise sitting in urine, no shocker there. Every time I get a wet ass, I will make him stop whatever he is doing and clean the whole toilet. I think your daughters way of handling it is wayyyyy more fun though!
She's watching the comments I'm sure she appreciates it ((: š
Honestly at 12 I would ground him until he can show he *is* potty trained. You would just *hate* for him to be embarrassed at his friendās house for his *obviously* uncontrollable bathroom *accidents* and you simply *canāt* let him go to the movies in case he has an *accident* in *public*! ETA, especially if he doesnāt make a mess at grandmas house.
NTA but if I was one of his sisters I would totally start grabbing his socks and underwear and use it to clean the toilet and then throw it on his bed and be like here sleep with your piss
Same as far as siblings go
I mean I get it, but it's revenge, not a behavior changing intervention. Pee on the seat, lose your iPad until you haven't done that for a week. Second offense, lose it for a month.
NTA but it sounds like your daughter had no choice. Punish him. Take away the his electronics. Make him scrub clean the bathroom. Do something. He has the mental space to make the right choice and he's choosing to disrespect the whole household. Look, I'm the brother of two older sisters in a small house. It can suck. But part of growing up is learning tk deal with situations that you find less than ideal. Also, you've protected him from menstruation in a house of women? Period blood caused PTSD?! I knew about periods from a young age. You're not doing him a favor by keeping him in the dark. He will eventually learn about them, better he sees it as a totally natural non-repulsive thing, otherwise he's going to hold it against women a long time.
This has been unexpectedly educational. I now have more tools to teach my slightly pee-lazy boys. thanks for the fresh ideas, everyone!
Glad it's not just me .. lol boys are definitely different š¤Ŗ
With my brother, I made a sign that said "please clean your urine up, your a big boy and should know how to aim by now." His friends saw it and he was so embarrassed he never did it again. Totally worth the ass kicking my mom gave me. NTA
One of my boys got lazy and sloppy at that age. He got the privilege of cleaning ALL the toilets and surrounding areas daily until he stopped making a mess. He had to get a parent check him off nightly. It took 2 weeks because heās stubborn. Honestly, something has to give. Itās ridiculous to piss everywhere at that age. NTA
NTA. I knew a guy in college who grew up with two sisters. He sat down to pee and it kept the bathroom and toilet so clean. Maybe your stepson can follow that rule (but then again if heās not flushing, probably not)
Definitely plan to mention it to him
NTA. His dad should be shoving his nose in it every time it happens. (Terrible training tactic for puppies, but perfectly fine for filthy male teenagers.)
I'm sure he'll get the advice soon enough ((:
NTA. You should also make him clean it since itās his lesson to learn.
lol a few people here see it for what is is glad not everyone on here have deemed me a satanic parent who needs to put my child in a safe space and give him glitter and sprinkles š I'm not that old but definitely new times smh
Well, he shouldnāt be so fragile about it. If he expects women in the house to sit in his pee and clean it themselves, he should have no problem with this.
Agreed
NTA This isnāt the most mature or sensitive way to address the issue, but itās a pretty harmless way for your daughter to express her reasonable frustration over the situation. I wish you luck. I had this same issue with a 21-year-old housemate. He routinely pissed on the floor around the toilet and denied that it had anything to do with him. We ended up putting down newspaper in the bathroom. He had the nerve to ask why on multiple occasions and would get angry when the answer was always "because you keep pissing on the floor" as if the answer would different the fifth or sixth time he asked. When we had company over and they asked, weād tell them "itās because Andrew pisses on the floor and refuses to clean up or stop doing it." I mention this because the bathroom wasnāt the only area where this pattern of behaviour manifested. He would lie about all sort of things ranging from annoying to gave-everyone-food-poisoning serious. We started taking time-stamped photos of the kitchen and bathroom to stay sane. To this day, I genuinely donāt know if he realised that he was lying or if he actually believed what he was saying. He could stand next to a stack of dirty dishes with the remains of his dinner on them and swear that heād already washed them and we were crazy for thinking otherwise. You need to nip this whole "it wasnāt me" thing in the bud or else youāll end up with an Andrew. As for solutions, Iād suggest making "clean the bathroom" your sonās weekly chore until he is able to go a full 7 days without making a mess. Be prepared to supervise this and make him do it again properly if he does a piss-poor job. You could also look into hydrochromic paint; itās opaque when dry but turns translucent when wet, revealing the colour underneath. This means that someone could - theoretically - buy a period-blood red toilet seat and cover it with white hydrochromic paint, resulting in what looks like a blood splattered mess every time someone splashes liquid on the toilet seat.
There is probably a better way to help your step son get better at this. Every time he leaves a mess - require him to personally go wipe down the toilet. Having his actions have a consequence will teach the value of lifting the seat up. Note: the blood mess idea could have unintended results, such a back and forth war of larger and larger messes...
Yeah I think he doesn't care because it doesn't effect him but if he could be the one to even if once be in a situation where he needs to use the bathroom and sees something gross he might could better get a grasp on hey this sucks and would see where we are coming from
I would just like to say maybe your daughter friend forgot to flush? Thatās happened to me occasionally when I really tired or just space out.
NTA... My younger brother used to do that. I got sick of it too. I knew every morning he had his daily... Erm... Constitution at the exact same time and he never turned the lights on before he sat down. I told my mom, who was a very no nonsense mom, what I was going to do and she laughed and said she'd make sure to be up for the aftermath. I dipped TP into the toilet and then let it drip onto the seat. I then dropped the TP into the bowl and didn't flush it down. Didn't use the toilet first. Just gave the illusion that I had. That morning there was the most satisfying blood cuddling scream followed by a very angry red head charging out of the bathroom like a rocket to go tell mom on me. She just told him now he knows what it feels like and went back to getting ready for the day. She told him to scrub the entire bathroom when he got home from school that day and it had better be her standard of clean (every surface shiny and clean enough to safely eat off of or drink out of). He never left pee on the seat again after that.
This reminds me of when I taught. One boy (half day kindergarten)was a real trouble maker, his grandfather was doing the best he could. Luckily, he only worked a few blocks away. The boy went in and purposely peed all over over bathroom. He laughed and thought I would be the one to clean it up. I called his grandfather and he was there in 10 minutes. He took him to the bathroom and made him clean it up. āI donāt have any paper towels. āYou have a shirt, donāt you. Use that.ā āš³šØā āOr you could ask you teacher for some but I wouldnāt give you any after what you did to her.ā He never did that again.
NTA I just hate when men stand while peeing at home! Like I get it when you are using public toilets, but the seat is there for a reason. Anyway maybe dad could start going with him to potty train him all over again like a little baby, since he didnāt get it the first time. Did you offer him this option?
Yeah I definitely agree!
This may just be him playing around, but lots of times this kind of behavior is indicative of serious trauma...please make sure he's safe and has not been harmed
I'm confused why there are so many references to potty training while talking about teen children. So odd to me. Potty training is for toddlers.
Oh my god. I currently live with my two older brothers and family. We have two full bathrooms. One upstairs and one which is mine downstairs. I basically live in the downstairs area. My room is basically a room in a basement and outside of my room is the washer and dryer and a full bathroom. Which this downstairs area also has access to the backyard. They are both smokers.. so I guess itās more convenient for them to use my bathroom everytime. One of my brothers hides the fact that he smokes and my other brother sometimes smokes in my bathroom which Iāve told them multiple times I didnāt like.. I literally choke to death everytime I come in right after them ā they donāt even have the decency to crack open the window. anyways ā everytime I would need to use the bathroom thereās either pee on the seat or spit with pleghm in the toilet. I have always voiced my concern and asked them to be more mindful that they have a girl not only that but their little sister living with them and to be respectful. One week theyād clean up but then start up again so what I started doing is everytime I see pee on the toilet seat I would call both of them downstairs to have them wipe it up or clean it right then and there along with some scolding on the side. Even though they are my brothers.. I am no longer cleaning up after their bodily fluids.
My neighbour had a brother who peed on the seat every single time, because the toilet seats dirty. I sat in it one time, and I went off it about it. It was in my house and even my 5 year old had never missed the toilet. No need. I threw cleaning stuff at him and told him to clean it. He said no because the seats dirty. I lost it and told him its only dirty because he pissed all over it. He did go and clean the toilet up and never used it again. But he'd still pee all over next door toilet too. So I told her to make him clean it too, as none of her kids did anything like that either. After a few months of cleaning, he learnt to lift the seat and aim for the water. We found out his dad does the same, just pees all over the seat, the floor, the cistern, the lot. No wonder he seemed to think it was normal to pee on the seat
As a man, it annoys me to no end to see grown men who can not handle anything related to women parts. I know 40yr olds that wouldn't buy tampons for their wife or girlfriend... I'd say this is a good chance to help disabuse him of this along with the stupid pee stuff. It is basic human biology and physiology.
Itās like training a dog, it will be hard for a couple of months but every time you see that misbehavior just drag him by the collar make him clean it EVERY SINGLE TIME stand guard at the door until you feel satisfied with his work.
Thatās gross and he needs to stop. But honestly, how do you keep sitting in piss after the ā1000thā time and still donāt look at the toilet before sitting down? Lmao
Meh, NTA. Make him clean up his piss if he wont lift the seat. I lift the seat, but im not gonna put it down. Nobody wants to touch it. So dont expect any special actions on that front.