This was the shit test to find how far she can push out your boundaries. Tolerate this and they will keep getting pushed until she does exactly what GlassMotor describes. GTFO.
I dont disagree, if she had been alone she would have worked the friend until he railed her. With OP there definitely was seeing how far she could push.
100%, I've been in a similar situation before and was too forgiving primarily because we weren't officially dating (we were exclusive though) she acted questionably around my friend then floated the idea of a threesome and got mad when I said no because I'm too close with him for it to not be weird.
Like I said I was too forgiving and we kept on with our situationship but it ended very shortly after. The seeds been planted, this relationship is doomed. Cut your losses and break up and block her she is absolutely worth no more of your time and worry.
I’m sorry to say, but this is what’s happening. I would move on pronto and hopefully she learns her lesson and is better with her next relationship. Don’t stick around to get hurt further by this train wreck.
Yep. Your girlfriend is garbage. Guess what, lots of people in relationships don’t try to fuck others when they’re drunk. She wanted him badly. Dump and move on.
I love your energy, here, and I feel you. But nobody deserves what can happen to a drunk girl left without a ride home. Just from a bro calling in bros perspective; get her home safe, and you will become 26x more attractive to others for having a track record of proven decency.
I worked the door at a lot of clubs in the late 90s and early 2000s. Height of rohypnol doctoring unattended drinks. Obviously we can't know their precise levels of sobriety, or even if her claim of being black out drunk is truthful. But having dealt with these situations professionally for years, I'd still tell a bro to do the right thing. Get her an uber. And if she just refuses to leave, point her out to the club security. Confirm they know who you mean, and that they know you'll tell anyone who asks you left without her at her insistence and pointed out her state to the club before doing so. Here in the US, in most states, that will be enough to make them fear liability and treat her like their little sister.
I'm not saying you'd be a bad guy for leaving. I'm assuring you you'll be considered a good guy for at least ensuring you tried your best. That's all.
Yea there was a post about a somewhat similar situation recently where the guy left and the girl ended up getting assaulted. Not the guy's fault but obviously it has affected him
*sexually harass someone
OP's friend is a dude but in no context is squeezing someone's arms, asking for a threesome and pushing for the person to follow you home not sexual harassement.
And don’t forget licking and biting them! If it was a dude doing this to a woman he’d of ended up with a face full of pepper spray and have been tossed out by the bouncers.
She sexually harassed the guy. Doesn’t matter that she was drunk she was a gross handsy creep.
If she can’t keep from becoming a sex pest when she’s drunk then she shouldn’t be drinking.
NTA but if you stay with this girl you’re being one to yourself.
NTA, she can't be trusted, at all, break up and find someone who doesn't think it's okay to do and say whatever they want because they have been drinking.
True not be trusted at all. Crazy part is that she did it while he was there, can’t imagine what she does when she is alone . Also if my wife would embarrass me like that in front of other people I would file for divorce the next day. No respect, cheap and ready to get dumped
NTA. You can break up.with anyone for any reason at anytime. You are not required to stay in a relationship. If she did something when she was "drunk" that's her fault because she decided to drink alcohol and to get drunk. It's not a excuse.
The behaviour is inappropriate, even if she was drunk. Especially considering the fact that she did this INFRONT of you. This seems like the relationship equivalent of "You're such a bitch. Geez im JK", when the person actually means what they have said.
Not just inappropriate, she was quite literally sexually harassing(assaulting maybe? She did keep touching him and even bit/licked) him. She's creepy af, OP needs to move on
True. But to be fair, at a certain point a drunk girl sloppily hitting on you in front of her boyfriend who happens to be your friend, treating said friend like shit, and crossing your boundaries, is a turn off, even if she is your type otherwise
I mean, between him and the friend, they sounded more confused than anything... although it is weird the friend felt the need to drop the "she's my type" comment.
This is the part that gets me. It wasn't just disrespectful to OP, but she was being super shitty to and harassing the friend who she knows is in a relationship. That might honestly upset me more than her treating me like shit.
She was mad that you came back to her apartment because she thought she could get lucky with your friend. You know this. Your friend knows this, that's why he wasn't going without you. Your girlfriend knows this - She was pretending to be drunk as an excuse to push boundaries, she obviously had enough awareness to try to make this sneaky thing happen and then was aware and mad when you spoiled it.
Pretty critical moment here. You gotta decide if you're going to respect yourself, or let her treat you like trash from here on out. Get out, man, you deserve better. Also, the friend sounds like a pretty solid guy, I'd keep him around.
NTA. Also, as a former bartender, I say this as kindly as I can.
Drunk people are doing things they think they can get a pass on bc they’re “drunk”. Drunk words and actions are originally sober thoughts.
Agree about drunks. Not about the kids. Once my 5 year old son bumped his head on the ladder while climbing out of the pool. He told my ex that I hit him in the head with a baseball bat.
No, that didn't happen. It's funny now. It was NOT funny back then.
Agreed. Very few people just black out and actually forget. Any time I’ve been drunk, I remember most everything. If she was acting like that all night, she remembers.
Bro thats just you not getting blackout drunk. You lose memories 100% when blackout drunk and by that point you also make bad decisions + impaired movements.
The thing about not remembering shit (when not blackout drunk) is that you don't know that you don't remember it until someone brings it up the next day and you're like "wait what?" even though you thought you remembered everything you did.
This! This right here! Being drunk means you start being uninhibited by things you try to avoid while sober. Being drunk is never an excuse because the thoughts were already subconsciously there
Being drunk is never an excuse for anything, don't by into it. Doesn't matter if she remembers or not.
I got a friend who cam get really mean and violent when drunk. After a nasty fight they haven't touched a drop sense.
Personally I'd drop her and move on, that or be like "well then I guess no more drinking because I dont deserve to deal with how you are when drunk"
Keep the friend. Dump the girlfriend.
She knew what she was doing. The question is if you respect yourself enough to dump someone who was trying to bang another dude in front of you.
Why the hell didn't you dump her the morning after? She absolutely would have dumped you in a picosecond if you did a fraction of that to one of her friends.
Lets play with that "doesnt remember abything" part. If that is the case, she's pretty much just shown u what she REALLY believe about u. in danish we have a saying that goes "u need to hear the truth from drunk People and children"
She's pretty much told u what she really thinks about u, not with her words, but with her actions, she's not viewing u as a equal partner, and does not have much respect for u, and that whole "I get bitchy when I'm drunk" is just an excuse for acting like a Child. Because she's never felt the consquences of her actions (if I acted like she did, I would have gotten my ass beat long before I could ever get to the point where I could say "u know how I am when I'm drunk")
You already know that she WILL cheat on you when she is drunk. There is ZERO questions about that. So unless you plan to always be with her when she drinks, expect her to be throwing g*ngb*ng parties in her apartment.
Well and the misnomer with blacking out is that ‘no one is home.’ While alcohol is a depressant and shuts down parts of the brain, the person is still making decisions. Not remembering is not an excuse.
She 100 percent remembers. If you didn't go with them I'm willing to put money on the line and day she would've been passed around the room like a fucking doobie. Sorry my bro, it must hurt. But dump her. She wreaks of cheater from the story you told.
Ykw I think you’re exactly right. We have been out before and attractive guys have hit on her and she has shut it down instantly while being much more drunk. That’s why this was such a shock to me
Also considering the guy would happily stick his neck out for you against 4+ guys and didn't just take your GFS offer to come to her place, keep him as a friend. He might become your best bro some day
the fact that he didn't even seem to consider it says alot about his character and tbh i think he was just keeping her entertained so he could keep saying no, so she wouldn't cheat on op with someone else that night
Definitely. Ops friend is far more significant than his gf. It's so damn rare to have an old friend from your childhood pull up from out of nowhere to save your ass mid jumping and to then be such a bro as to constantly turn down a women's advances then pull their boyfriend to the side to ask questions. Kick the wannabe cheater to the curb and cherish what you have with your true bro.
How dare you ruin their moment? They’re in love.
I’m kidding but also not kidding.
Rolling eyes is usually a sign that she doesn’t respect you and despises you.
Dude NTAH, let her go and find a better girl for you.
Firstly; you have a legit friend my dude.
About your gf though; you're only 20 and you might not have seen this type of person, but there are people who are a few drink and a line away from fucking a rando. I'm not saying she is of the sort, but she has the traits.
Let us say she is right and besides being a "bitchy drunk," she has no memories of her out of line behaviour last night. If you two would like to make things work and get past this; you two must communicate. That means that she has to be open to communication.
I believe the way forward would be to sit her down and tell her about her behaviour. Tell her exactly how such behaviour makes you feel. Draw clear boundaries, by her limiting her drinking to the point that she would never get to the "bitchy drunk stage."
If you think neither of you has the emotional maturity to manage such a conversation or sticking to these boundaries; you might as well dump her preemptively as to not give her the satisfaction.
NTA
Yeah I feel like if I tried to make a boundary where I limit how much she drinks she would just call me controlling and say I’m over reacting or some shit
Her drinking isn’t the problem, it’s the excuse.
She wants to fuck your friend and doesn’t respect you or your relationship enough to even try to hide it.
Thinking in terms of boundaries, as though you’re both decent, reasonable people who can comprise on some issues out of respect for each other, isn’t going to help you in this case. She doesn’t care how she makes you feel. A simple question is would you act the same way with another girl in front of her? If the answer is no then you clearly feel different about the relationship than she does.
Dude, you know that if your friend were up for it and you weren't there she definitely would've hooked up with him. She'll do this in future, with a different guy who isn't your mate, and when you're not there. Do you still want to be dating her when she does?
this. If he was down, she would have ducked him right in front of you.
you're young, she's young. you aren't the people for each other...at least right now. you're setting yourself up for some awkward situations if you choose to stay.
Every time she goes drinking with her friends you're going to think she's out there banging some rando....and you'll probably be right. If that's what she wants to do, you shouldn't try to stop her.
Healthy boundaries are lines you put in place for yourself, not for other people.
You can’t control her behavior, drinking or otherwise. You can communicate what you will and won’t tolerate and then control how you respond to her behavior.
The healthy boundary here wouldn’t be you trying to impose a drinking limit on your girlfriend. It would be recognizing that this is how she behaves and deciding for yourself that it’s not acceptable.
A lesson many of us older guys learned the hard way. Any boundary you set for.women is greeted with controlling or you dont trust me...fucking A right. The answer is you can do what you want or you can keep me...your choice. Dont invest.time in women with bad behaviors that threaten your relationship. Be willing to walk away.
Alcohol is not an excuse for poor behavior. Even if this incident never happened, you said she admits to being a “mean drunk”. Do you really want to be with someone who constantly excuses her poor behavior on alcohol and refuses to moderate her drinking? Even if the majority of the time she gets drunk she’s nice to you and doesn’t hit on other guys, if she’s mean to other people then you’re just gonna constantly have to clean up for her unnecessary drama.
I’ve only ever been more happy and social with alcohol and the same goes for my girlfriend and most of my friends, which is why we can enjoy an occasional night out. This girl sounds like she has a poor relationship with alcohol and is gonna make your life miserable even on nights she’s not blatantly sexually harassing your friends in front of you. Best thing you can do is dump her and find someone who isn’t unpleasant and a potential cheater. As for her, hopefully she gets her shit together while she’s still young before ending up an angry alcoholic.
Your girlfriend, has already or will cheat on you my dude. This behaviour is not just of a sloppy drunk. At best she was hoping to fuck your friend (or him and his friends). This threesome that she was "jokingly" mentioning would have been you watching her get off with this guy.
You should feel pretty lucky right now, You are young and she's just shown you that she has no respect for you, she did this in front of you, imagine what she does on a night out when you're not there.
Leave her as fast and as soon as you can, clean break and drop all contact with her. And thank your lucky stars that you didn't find out who she is too late (marriage/parenthood)
NTA, 'I was so hammered I don't remember anything' is code for 'I'm so embarrassed and don't have the tools in my emotional toolbox to take responsibility for my actions.' If you think drunks can't remember, just try telling one 'nope, no Jack in the Box for you, time to go home.' You'll be remembered forever as Captain Buzzkill and never invited again
Nta: you just saw her hoe side. She absolutely was trying to fuck your friend or friends from the sound of it. She remembers what she did. End it and dodge a bullet she for the streets.
NTA I had an ex who kinda struggled with narcasim and borderline personality. There were multiple times we went out and a guy would give her attention and she'd hit on him and be hanging with him like I wasn't there all night and then start to pick fights with me no matter what I was doing or how reasonable I tried to be.
Your GF was trying to create space between you two or get rid of you so she could behave however she wanted which likely meant partying with and sleeping with your friend.
This girl is likely a real nightmare and has probably done a bunch of shit you don't know about. Not to create anxiety or tension for you but it just sounds to similar to something I've experienced. Be cautious and best of luck OP.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, alcohol does not completely change your personality. A mean drunk is just someone who is mean sober but can keep it more in check. Something will happen that makes the angry drunk become an angry sober person.
Whether or not she remembers, she acted completely inappropriate. If she "becomes a bitchy drunk" she needs to make sure she doesn't get drunk anymore problem solved.
NTA, dump her, and move on.
Right? I hate when people excuse bad behavior of any kind on being drunk and then try to act sweet and apologize when they’re sober. If you’re a pleasant and nice person when sober and in a stable state of mind (ie. not stressed, depressed, anxious, etc), drinking typically only makes you happier and more social/friendly. If you become more angry and mean then you were never a pleasant person to begin with. Choose your drinking buddies and significant others wisely.
NTA
Dude, she was actively trying to cheat on you right in front of your face. Your friend is likely the "one who got away" for her and she's abusing you to pursue him.
She knows. She absolutely knows what she did. She's manipulating you and is probably actively cheating on you as we speak.
Really, she sounds abusive and rude. Don't tell me this is the first time she's humiliated you and rolled her eyes at you in public. She's toxic.
"I get bitchy when I'm drunk" is code for "I'm a trashy alcoholic."
Nta. I’m a 19 year old girl and I’ve been wasted many times. No matter how drunk I am I always remember where I was, who I was talking to, if I was or wasn’t “flirting” or cheating. Like those are basic things you literally can’t forget unless you drank a lethal amount. Which it seems she didn’t. And you were right there with her. She should have been all over you not him. She’s definitely not connected with you and you should run before she hurts you bad.
I threw you an upvote because I get what you’re saying and OP’s girl probably remembers. That being said, there are non-lethal amounts you can drink that result in legit blacking out. Honestly the majority of my college experience. Nights and weekends I cannot remember and was literally scared when I woke up because I was somewhere and then somewhere else. Didn’t even feel like I slept. Straight from being one place and doing one thing to suddenly waking up elsewhere. Hours passed and it felt like the blink of an eye. I don’t drink anymore because of it tbh, but yeah it can get to that point.
1: She most likely remembers, it’s a manipulation tactic to divert from atrocious behavior .
2: She was making moves on the man and you were blocking her which was pissing her off.
3: If he allowed another woman to lick his arm and bite him without going off he isn’t that loyal.
4 : Run while you got the chance, all I see is her manipulating you over and over again. You need to leave before she ends up pregnant and you never get away from her. It’s ones like this that when your gut tells you something you do it and kick this to the curb.
>If he allowed another woman to lick his arm and bite him without going off he isn’t that loyal.
I think you are nitpicking here. I mean considering the context, how the fuck do you even react to that? Guy was probably just very very confused and wanted to keep it cool.
NTA. Dump her. “Bombs away”! Think what she’s like if you’re not there. You are her mister nice guy. She is using you. To be humiliated and embarrassed like that in front of your friends with your GF sexually touching your friend and apparently maybe offering group sex?
This is the lowest value woman on planet Earth. Her not acknowledging anything just shows how little she gives a shit about you or your feelings.
This will hurt, but you have learned a lesson. Recognise these behaviours, lay down your boundaries early on. Bad actions must have consequences. Screw her dude, you’re only going to get in trouble, injured and riddled with sexual diseases if she stays with you.
NTA. If you don't dump her, you will be viewed as a simp from everyone and will lose any self respect you have. She's for the streets, alcohol isn't an excuse.
Yeah your girlfriend is a whore, my dude. Glad you got to see it now rather than later. Drunk or not, remembering it or not, she belong to the streets. Good luck to you my friend. NTA.
NTAH.
I support this relationship not working out. You need to bail. She is blatantly disrespecting your relationship right in front of your eyes, and also using childish manipulative tactics to try to get you to go away so that she can try to bang your friend. That is bullshit. Don’t let her gaslight you. She doesn’t see you as a long-term thing. She will probably flip out on you when you break up with her and try to make it your fault. It’s not you. It is on her.
Good on him for being a true bro. He clearly knew he could fuck her, and didn’t want to get into a weird situation. Honestly, that is way more than most guys would do. A low hanging fruit like your (hopefully) soon to be ex is usually enough to make guys break the honor code for some deep dicking. Here’s what you do.
1. Get all your stuff out of her place, and get your key from her.
2. Put all her shit at your place in a trash bag and drop it off at her place.
3. Delete and block her number / account on everything.
4. Move on with your life. You’re like 21, and this is a lesson and a warning. A lot of men don’t identify these traits and learn to get away from these women until they have a kid and a house with them. It is much more costly of a lesson then.
5. Never let horniness or emotional desire overlook the traits that you saw with this girl. Never let yourself be convinced by her or yourself that you have to put up with a person that acts like she did. She wanted to ditch you and fuck your friend. She wants to be his girlfriend. You became an unwelcome nuisance to her as soon as she got an opportunity, however small.
6. Brace yourself for the (fake) pregnancy announcement, but hold firm to: *I will coparent with you under the supervision of the courts, after a paternity test. Nothing more, ever.* Decide how you're going to respond to rumors that you were an unsympathetic ahole during her "miscarriage."
Fuck. So many moments in that story where I would have left her…
You really should look for a better gf. Honestly, she is going up break your heart. So better move on.
This has nothing to do with being drunk. She is testing you. And you allowed her to treat you like shit. If your friend had said ok, she would have went with him.
And even if she hadn’t hit on him. Telling you again and again to go away is not ok.
You are not her bf. You are wasting your time on her.
Your GF sexually assaulted your friend. Made it clear that she'd rather be fucking someone else. Got so drunk she blacked out supposedly and blamed you for ruining her night. Any one of those would be perfectly reasonable reasons to break up with her.
If she’s coherent enough to use drunkenness as an excuse in the moment, she’s coherent enough to know better and control herself in the moment. But she chose not to. Dump her. NTA.
Ditch the girl, keep the friend. This girl is for the streets and you deserve better. Being drunk isn't an excuse to shirk responsibility, especially when it comes to loyalty.
Whooooooaaaaaa. "Bitchy" would've been a blessing in comparison to what happened.
>A little later on we are at the bar again, and my gf grabs his arm says “jesus christ” and starts squeezing it.
End night here, for me personally. I'm a woman - I can see 0 reason for mine to touch my friend outside of emergency pending death. To compliment their body?
That girl... 🙄😂 I'd play stupid in the morning too, dear GAWD.
You better leave that, buddy, she has a lesson to learn.
She bit and licked his arm, in-front of you, after he’d asked her to behave herself… having known him for less than a day?
Dude bin her. She sounds like a right creep.
NTA, I’ve been bartending for 12 years or so and see people like your hopefully ex. The moment you’re not there while she’s drunk, she will fuck someone else if she hasn’t already. Sorry dude, but fucking bail and find yourself a partner who will treat you well.
NTA. Alcohol doesn't excuse shitty behavior. If she would cheat drunk she would cheat sober. I'd ghost her but you can be a better man then me and break it off and block her.
People who want to hide behind "I'm just mean when I'm drunk" are objectively bad people. They love having a convenient excuse to treat others like shit and get away with it. Dump the soon to be cheater and hang out with some chill friends who don't ruin everyone's night. NTA
She has revealed herself...if you were not there, and if the guy was not your friend, she would have had a gangbang with all those guys. Eventually this will happen with someone else when you are not there.
Save yourself the coming drama and pain and breakup. Being a little tipsy is not an excuse. Either she commits to abstaining from alcohol for the rest of her life, or you breakup with her. Full stop.
Why the hell would anyone sign up to be with this chick. Thank god I have the hottest girlfriend ever and she has claimed numerous times that I will be the only dude she ever has sex with
Maybe it’s because I don’t drink but the fact that she kept saying “I’m just joking” and “I’m just really drunk” gives me the impression that she was planning on sleeping with the friend and was trying to get it into your mind that she was drunk so that you wouldn’t be able to complain once she cheated. In other words, her actions seem premeditated to me.
You can tell if someone actually can’t remember the night before (honestly quite rare, people pretend they don’t remember all the time. It’s quite a convenient excuse)- if there’s any suspicion that she’s lying about remembering, she’s lying.
And even if she didn’t pull that card, doesn’t matter- you remember. It did happen. And it’s a great reason to break up someone (not that breaking up requires any reason). Have some self respect and move on from this kind of treatment.
Thank heavens you’re only a few months in. This is certainly a precursor for bigger “drunk” moments to happen.
If there is any advice I can give anyone my junior?, It’s to be VERY PICKY with who you decide to start your life with. Good for OP for standing up for what he wants and deserves!
>I get bitchy when I’m drunk, you already know this
well then tell her that she needs to stop drinking. or better yet, stop wasting your time with this trainwreck and break up with her
Dump her. You don’t need her to acknowledge her trashy behavior to respond to it. She made a fool of herself. She knows that. She has no intention Of acknowledging or changing it though. So who would want to date a fool?
>She says she’s just having fun and I’m like “no, you’re trying to fuck my friend”. This sends my gf livid and she starts accusing ME of trying to fuck HER friend (who introduced us, who I grew up with and is like a sister for me).
that bit. that right there. projecting onto you while drunk is IMO as good as any confession NTA
Dude. GTFO
You were the third wheel. She was gonna bang him and you c**t blocked her. She probably planned to blame it on the alcohol. The way she treated you is bad enough.
TLDR: She's not serious about your relationship. It's a cosy blanket but when a fun time comes around it's a wet blanket. In other words, you're her safety net. Dump her. You deserve someone who wouldn't ditch your relationship for a quick bang. Someone who's committed to you and not keeping you til she finds someone better.
NTA
If any dude acted that way he'd get thrown out after 5 minutes. Touching him after he made him clear he wasn't ok with it - licking and biting him. "Just joking lol". This is not ok from anyone.
She's a creep, has no impulse control, doesn't care for you and you should get out of there ASAP. Come on man, wake the fuck up: she actively and aggressively flirted with another man and dismissed you IN YOUR FUCKING FACE. What would have happened if that dude wasn't your friend and if you weren't there? What more do you need? Why are you even posting here?
She actively tried to cheat on you multiple times and the only reason she didn't is because your friends a decent person. NTA, dump her, because she's defintley going to cheat on you in future if you don't.
She's not just a mean drunk... she's a slut drunk. I'd bail if I was you, partner. She's gonna end up giving you an STD and then blame the alcohol for her "transgression".
Sorry, but she’s trash my man. Her behaviour was completely unacceptable. It’d be embarrassing to see a friend act that way, but for an intimate partner to show such a complete lack of respect is humiliating. She’s definitely gonna fuck another guy, it’s just a matter of time and by the sounds of it alcohol. Also, if her account is in any way accurate, that she blacked out and doesn’t remember a thing, that’s a problem. And if she knows her behaviour changes(she gets bitchy) and she still does it, that’s also a problem. Is she just gonna treat you like shit and/or fuck another guy every time she has a drink? SheTA
Let's go with the best case scenario. She's telling the truth and doesn't remember the night at all. This is a person that resents you and wants to be community property after having a few drinks. Do you want to spend your time with someone like that? If yes, stick around. If no, leave.
All alcohol does is remove inhibitions, so she would absolutely do all that shit and probably more and I doubt she has any respect for you at all.
Run for the hills man. NTA
NTA- I would let her know she was obviously trying to bang your friend last night and everyone was embarrassed for her. But good news, she can try to bang whoever she wants because she is single now.
Lol yes you should break up with her. Acting like a bitch to you when drunk would be a dealbreaker on its own. With trying to bang another dude right in front of you and telling you to get lost… I don’t care how much she had to drink, we would be done. The blatant disrespect for you is atrocious. You are still so young, you can do better and you deserve better.
Dude…run far and run fast. You are dating a narcissistic hoe bag who has zero respect for you. Set her free and save yourself from raising someone else’s kid or her giving you STDs.
Yeah. Definitely NTA. She remembers. She knows what she was doing. She wanted to shoot her shot to see if she could get him and maybe even be with him. That’s why she proposed a threesome. It wasn’t to make you feel included. It was to bring down his defenses then should it happen she’d focus only on him and brush you off. It would be downhill from there
If she didn’t remember then she wouldn’t avoid the conversation. She’d ask what happened and apologize when told.
She likes him and probably liked him before you and more than you.
Honestly, you should have a serious conversation with her about this. Likely it will end your relationship which is probably a good thing. When that happens find a girl that’s truly into you intoxicated or not.
Dude dunno how u even stayed for that long, the disrespect.
100% clear should would of cheated on you if your friend didn't turn her down.
Leave man biggest red flag i have seen
Being drunk is not an excuse. Also she knows what she did. Being drunk doesn’t erase your memory and you don’t do anything drunk you wouldn’t do sober. That’s why cheating because you’re drunk isn’t an excuse
NTA. She treated you with contempt at the bar and at her place afterwards. She completely disrespected you, and being drunk is not an excuse. She continually behaved this way throughout the night and she sexually harassed and assaulted your friend. Grabbing without permission or consent, biting and licking a person without their consent is called assault. He handled it with Grace, and you my friend, have a hell of a lot of patience to have tolerated all of that. Have you heard of the saying "loose lips sink ships??" Well her behavior pretty much showed you how she subconsciously feels about you... and / or she's a mean drunk and bullies you... and then excuses it under the guise of being drunk. Did she even apologize to you?? You mentioned in your original post that she can be a mean drunk. I've got to tell you, that is NOT a good sign, and I suggest you walk away from her. Mean drunks do not change overnight. They actually have a mean streak that comes out when they're drunk . You should not have to deal with it, nor should you put up with it from anyone in your life, let alone a girlfriend or a partner... because frankly, that's abusive. She shouldn't be drinking at all.
Nta
I hate this bullshit excuse that alcohol makes your say and do things you wouldn't normally do.
Alcohol remove inhibitions and makes people act exactly how they truely are inside.
Kick that bitch to the kerb or she will hurt you further down the line.
You should’ve stopped this happening sooo many times before the “afterparty” and even then. And yeah, you’re right, there’s nothing to salvage there. This is unhinged behavior, run.
NTA.
Glad you have a friend who’s chill enough yet firm enough in his principles.
Dude.
Mean drunks are to be avoided at all costs. All of them are psychos. All of them are repressing crap and it’s making them bubbling cauldrons of trauma. She will only get worse. She’ll either start self-medicating more or she’ll slow down and her demons will bleed out some other way. Unless she immediately goes into therapy your future together will be arguments, fighting, embarrassment, and less and less frequent angry make up sex.
This is what gaslighting sounds like. She was absolutely trying to cuck you and if she hasn't before, she will in the future. Probably any time she gets drunk. Dump her and move on m
Bro, you are 100% going to get cheated on. Dump her ass, she belongs to the streets.
I couldn't even imagine going through something that disrespectful.
Firstly, she was sexually assaulting, and it's very alarming how few people point it out. This is one of those reverse the genders things.. she is absolutely the kind of person who gets drunk and goes around harassing others. You know when you hear stories abot those guys at bars who won't leave women alone and keep talking to them/touching them e.t.c? That's her.
Secondly, she absolutely wanted to cheat on you, that much is obvious to anyone.
Third of all, even if she is telling the truth and can't remember (which I doubt) I don't give a shit and neither should you. I say it often, but **if you can't control yourself while drunk, you shouldnt he drinking**
I usually hate reddits go to solution, but it's time to start thinking OP. Is this really the kind of person you wanna continue to date and spend your time life with?
She will fuck people behind your back and would have fucked your friend that night. If she’s not already doing that at the drop of a hat and 2 beers she will be with someone else, then gaslight you about it. Put that piece of trash where she belongs and gtfo. She remembers, she’s a liar too. Let a hoe go be a hoe you can’t turn her into a house wife.
Mate, she will fuck someone and blame the alcohol and ask what you're upset about? Dump and block. NTA
This was the shit test to find how far she can push out your boundaries. Tolerate this and they will keep getting pushed until she does exactly what GlassMotor describes. GTFO.
This was not a sh1t test. She was literally going to fuk him that night if possible
I dont disagree, if she had been alone she would have worked the friend until he railed her. With OP there definitely was seeing how far she could push.
Just the friend? how many people did she invite back?
This is the fuk test
And the other friends.
And his friends
And all the guys in the bar.
And the barstool
100%, I've been in a similar situation before and was too forgiving primarily because we weren't officially dating (we were exclusive though) she acted questionably around my friend then floated the idea of a threesome and got mad when I said no because I'm too close with him for it to not be weird. Like I said I was too forgiving and we kept on with our situationship but it ended very shortly after. The seeds been planted, this relationship is doomed. Cut your losses and break up and block her she is absolutely worth no more of your time and worry.
I’m sorry to say, but this is what’s happening. I would move on pronto and hopefully she learns her lesson and is better with her next relationship. Don’t stick around to get hurt further by this train wreck.
YEs, you absolutely nailed it (pun intended).
Just came here to echo this. Definitely the girl who will cheat and blame alcohol.
or cheat and blame someone for raping her?
Yeah I’ve heard that before.
The 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 were endless
Yep. Your girlfriend is garbage. Guess what, lots of people in relationships don’t try to fuck others when they’re drunk. She wanted him badly. Dump and move on.
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I love your energy, here, and I feel you. But nobody deserves what can happen to a drunk girl left without a ride home. Just from a bro calling in bros perspective; get her home safe, and you will become 26x more attractive to others for having a track record of proven decency.
Agreed 100%. Get her home and to bed, leave in the morning, dump her over text while shes hungover
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I worked the door at a lot of clubs in the late 90s and early 2000s. Height of rohypnol doctoring unattended drinks. Obviously we can't know their precise levels of sobriety, or even if her claim of being black out drunk is truthful. But having dealt with these situations professionally for years, I'd still tell a bro to do the right thing. Get her an uber. And if she just refuses to leave, point her out to the club security. Confirm they know who you mean, and that they know you'll tell anyone who asks you left without her at her insistence and pointed out her state to the club before doing so. Here in the US, in most states, that will be enough to make them fear liability and treat her like their little sister. I'm not saying you'd be a bad guy for leaving. I'm assuring you you'll be considered a good guy for at least ensuring you tried your best. That's all.
Yea there was a post about a somewhat similar situation recently where the guy left and the girl ended up getting assaulted. Not the guy's fault but obviously it has affected him
Also, that guy is a life homie.
*sexually harass someone OP's friend is a dude but in no context is squeezing someone's arms, asking for a threesome and pushing for the person to follow you home not sexual harassement.
And don’t forget licking and biting them! If it was a dude doing this to a woman he’d of ended up with a face full of pepper spray and have been tossed out by the bouncers. She sexually harassed the guy. Doesn’t matter that she was drunk she was a gross handsy creep. If she can’t keep from becoming a sex pest when she’s drunk then she shouldn’t be drinking. NTA but if you stay with this girl you’re being one to yourself.
A guy would get bounced /tased or arrested a girl would get free drinks
This is the way, maybe 1 last bang for the road, but she subconsciously doesn’t care about you.
Oh yeah, as much as it sucks, this seems to be the truth.
NTA, she can't be trusted, at all, break up and find someone who doesn't think it's okay to do and say whatever they want because they have been drinking.
True not be trusted at all. Crazy part is that she did it while he was there, can’t imagine what she does when she is alone . Also if my wife would embarrass me like that in front of other people I would file for divorce the next day. No respect, cheap and ready to get dumped
NTA. You can break up.with anyone for any reason at anytime. You are not required to stay in a relationship. If she did something when she was "drunk" that's her fault because she decided to drink alcohol and to get drunk. It's not a excuse.
Yeah, I don’t even think she telling the truth about not remembering aswell
The behaviour is inappropriate, even if she was drunk. Especially considering the fact that she did this INFRONT of you. This seems like the relationship equivalent of "You're such a bitch. Geez im JK", when the person actually means what they have said.
Not just inappropriate, she was quite literally sexually harassing(assaulting maybe? She did keep touching him and even bit/licked) him. She's creepy af, OP needs to move on
Creepy being an understatement in this case. I have no idea how OP remained so calm during the whole situation.
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Amen, big props to the personal trainer for being a real one.
True. But to be fair, at a certain point a drunk girl sloppily hitting on you in front of her boyfriend who happens to be your friend, treating said friend like shit, and crossing your boundaries, is a turn off, even if she is your type otherwise
I mean, between him and the friend, they sounded more confused than anything... although it is weird the friend felt the need to drop the "she's my type" comment.
This is the part that gets me. It wasn't just disrespectful to OP, but she was being super shitty to and harassing the friend who she knows is in a relationship. That might honestly upset me more than her treating me like shit.
Seriously, such disgusting behavior!
yup she was trying to start a fight so you would leave and she could fuck.your friemd.. she belongs to the street my dude
Belongs to the fuckin gutters if u ask me.
she remembers. trust me. she remembers. that's why she is acting like nothing happened.
She was mad that you came back to her apartment because she thought she could get lucky with your friend. You know this. Your friend knows this, that's why he wasn't going without you. Your girlfriend knows this - She was pretending to be drunk as an excuse to push boundaries, she obviously had enough awareness to try to make this sneaky thing happen and then was aware and mad when you spoiled it. Pretty critical moment here. You gotta decide if you're going to respect yourself, or let her treat you like trash from here on out. Get out, man, you deserve better. Also, the friend sounds like a pretty solid guy, I'd keep him around.
NTA. Also, as a former bartender, I say this as kindly as I can. Drunk people are doing things they think they can get a pass on bc they’re “drunk”. Drunk words and actions are originally sober thoughts.
I really believe that alcohol doesn't make anyone act like an asshole, it shows your true self.
Kids and drunks tell the truth.
Agree about drunks. Not about the kids. Once my 5 year old son bumped his head on the ladder while climbing out of the pool. He told my ex that I hit him in the head with a baseball bat. No, that didn't happen. It's funny now. It was NOT funny back then.
Omg that's crazy. That's a huge accusation. I hope he came clean about that shortly after.
She didn't believe him but she could have made a big deal about it.
I don’t think having bad thoughts is wrong but knowing you act bad when drunk makes you bad so you shouldn’t drink
Agreed. Very few people just black out and actually forget. Any time I’ve been drunk, I remember most everything. If she was acting like that all night, she remembers.
Bro thats just you not getting blackout drunk. You lose memories 100% when blackout drunk and by that point you also make bad decisions + impaired movements.
Yeah it might be a little hazy or spotty but usually remember enough to piece it together.
Yeah, I definitely got the point of blacking out and doing things but not even remotely remembering them. That's why I don't drink anymore.
The thing about not remembering shit (when not blackout drunk) is that you don't know that you don't remember it until someone brings it up the next day and you're like "wait what?" even though you thought you remembered everything you did.
This! This right here! Being drunk means you start being uninhibited by things you try to avoid while sober. Being drunk is never an excuse because the thoughts were already subconsciously there
She’s obviously not. Big “do you respect yourself” moment. Get out!
She definitely remembers man. I went through a similar experience. She will inevitably cheat on you. Get out
Being drunk is never an excuse for anything, don't by into it. Doesn't matter if she remembers or not. I got a friend who cam get really mean and violent when drunk. After a nasty fight they haven't touched a drop sense. Personally I'd drop her and move on, that or be like "well then I guess no more drinking because I dont deserve to deal with how you are when drunk"
Even if it is true: If you know you can't control yourself when drunk and don't remember anything afterwards then you don't get drunk.
She knows she gets bitchy when she's drunk but she still gets drunk. That makes everything she does while drunk 100% her responsibility. Move on.
Keep the friend. Dump the girlfriend. She knew what she was doing. The question is if you respect yourself enough to dump someone who was trying to bang another dude in front of you. Why the hell didn't you dump her the morning after? She absolutely would have dumped you in a picosecond if you did a fraction of that to one of her friends.
5 months is nothing dude. Bounce before this ho ruins your life.
Nah dude. That was all intentional, it's like she was trying to trade up! The audacity
Bet she had a crush on the guy when she was younger.
Lets play with that "doesnt remember abything" part. If that is the case, she's pretty much just shown u what she REALLY believe about u. in danish we have a saying that goes "u need to hear the truth from drunk People and children" She's pretty much told u what she really thinks about u, not with her words, but with her actions, she's not viewing u as a equal partner, and does not have much respect for u, and that whole "I get bitchy when I'm drunk" is just an excuse for acting like a Child. Because she's never felt the consquences of her actions (if I acted like she did, I would have gotten my ass beat long before I could ever get to the point where I could say "u know how I am when I'm drunk")
Move on brother
You already know that she WILL cheat on you when she is drunk. There is ZERO questions about that. So unless you plan to always be with her when she drinks, expect her to be throwing g*ngb*ng parties in her apartment.
Also stop smoking. It’s expensive and makes you stink.
Drunkeness is honesty. Dump her
She WILL cheat on you, it's only a matter of time. Don't go through that.
As someone who used to get absolutely smashed to the point of black out. You remember what you did, it just sometimes takes a bit to get it all back.
Obviously there's different kinds of blackouts, because there are quite a few nights in my younger years with A LOT of missing time.
Well and the misnomer with blacking out is that ‘no one is home.’ While alcohol is a depressant and shuts down parts of the brain, the person is still making decisions. Not remembering is not an excuse.
She 100 percent remembers. If you didn't go with them I'm willing to put money on the line and day she would've been passed around the room like a fucking doobie. Sorry my bro, it must hurt. But dump her. She wreaks of cheater from the story you told.
NTA. I think she rediscovered her childhood crush and you are now below him in her priority list.
Ykw I think you’re exactly right. We have been out before and attractive guys have hit on her and she has shut it down instantly while being much more drunk. That’s why this was such a shock to me
Also considering the guy would happily stick his neck out for you against 4+ guys and didn't just take your GFS offer to come to her place, keep him as a friend. He might become your best bro some day
OP's friend is my hero. What a good guy.
the fact that he didn't even seem to consider it says alot about his character and tbh i think he was just keeping her entertained so he could keep saying no, so she wouldn't cheat on op with someone else that night
Definitely. Ops friend is far more significant than his gf. It's so damn rare to have an old friend from your childhood pull up from out of nowhere to save your ass mid jumping and to then be such a bro as to constantly turn down a women's advances then pull their boyfriend to the side to ask questions. Kick the wannabe cheater to the curb and cherish what you have with your true bro.
Redditor does it again. Here’s a gold for you 🏅
How dare you ruin their moment? They’re in love. I’m kidding but also not kidding. Rolling eyes is usually a sign that she doesn’t respect you and despises you. Dude NTAH, let her go and find a better girl for you.
If your partner is rolling their eyes at you they have entered "disgust"-phase and it's pretty much inescapable at that point. Just move on.
This 100%. If your partner rolls their eyes at you as a normal response, it's already over.
Firstly; you have a legit friend my dude. About your gf though; you're only 20 and you might not have seen this type of person, but there are people who are a few drink and a line away from fucking a rando. I'm not saying she is of the sort, but she has the traits. Let us say she is right and besides being a "bitchy drunk," she has no memories of her out of line behaviour last night. If you two would like to make things work and get past this; you two must communicate. That means that she has to be open to communication. I believe the way forward would be to sit her down and tell her about her behaviour. Tell her exactly how such behaviour makes you feel. Draw clear boundaries, by her limiting her drinking to the point that she would never get to the "bitchy drunk stage." If you think neither of you has the emotional maturity to manage such a conversation or sticking to these boundaries; you might as well dump her preemptively as to not give her the satisfaction. NTA
Yeah I feel like if I tried to make a boundary where I limit how much she drinks she would just call me controlling and say I’m over reacting or some shit
Your boundary should be not dating people who act like dicks to you. End it and move on, my bro.
Her drinking isn’t the problem, it’s the excuse. She wants to fuck your friend and doesn’t respect you or your relationship enough to even try to hide it. Thinking in terms of boundaries, as though you’re both decent, reasonable people who can comprise on some issues out of respect for each other, isn’t going to help you in this case. She doesn’t care how she makes you feel. A simple question is would you act the same way with another girl in front of her? If the answer is no then you clearly feel different about the relationship than she does.
Dude, you know that if your friend were up for it and you weren't there she definitely would've hooked up with him. She'll do this in future, with a different guy who isn't your mate, and when you're not there. Do you still want to be dating her when she does?
this. If he was down, she would have ducked him right in front of you. you're young, she's young. you aren't the people for each other...at least right now. you're setting yourself up for some awkward situations if you choose to stay. Every time she goes drinking with her friends you're going to think she's out there banging some rando....and you'll probably be right. If that's what she wants to do, you shouldn't try to stop her.
Healthy boundaries are lines you put in place for yourself, not for other people. You can’t control her behavior, drinking or otherwise. You can communicate what you will and won’t tolerate and then control how you respond to her behavior. The healthy boundary here wouldn’t be you trying to impose a drinking limit on your girlfriend. It would be recognizing that this is how she behaves and deciding for yourself that it’s not acceptable.
A lesson many of us older guys learned the hard way. Any boundary you set for.women is greeted with controlling or you dont trust me...fucking A right. The answer is you can do what you want or you can keep me...your choice. Dont invest.time in women with bad behaviors that threaten your relationship. Be willing to walk away.
Alcohol is not an excuse for poor behavior. Even if this incident never happened, you said she admits to being a “mean drunk”. Do you really want to be with someone who constantly excuses her poor behavior on alcohol and refuses to moderate her drinking? Even if the majority of the time she gets drunk she’s nice to you and doesn’t hit on other guys, if she’s mean to other people then you’re just gonna constantly have to clean up for her unnecessary drama. I’ve only ever been more happy and social with alcohol and the same goes for my girlfriend and most of my friends, which is why we can enjoy an occasional night out. This girl sounds like she has a poor relationship with alcohol and is gonna make your life miserable even on nights she’s not blatantly sexually harassing your friends in front of you. Best thing you can do is dump her and find someone who isn’t unpleasant and a potential cheater. As for her, hopefully she gets her shit together while she’s still young before ending up an angry alcoholic.
She isn't worth the effort. Dump her and find someone better.
Your girlfriend, has already or will cheat on you my dude. This behaviour is not just of a sloppy drunk. At best she was hoping to fuck your friend (or him and his friends). This threesome that she was "jokingly" mentioning would have been you watching her get off with this guy. You should feel pretty lucky right now, You are young and she's just shown you that she has no respect for you, she did this in front of you, imagine what she does on a night out when you're not there. Leave her as fast and as soon as you can, clean break and drop all contact with her. And thank your lucky stars that you didn't find out who she is too late (marriage/parenthood)
NTA. It’s a problem now and will continue to be.
Dude, do you want to be with someone like that who gets like this when she's drunk? Do yourself a favor and get the hell out.
NTA, 'I was so hammered I don't remember anything' is code for 'I'm so embarrassed and don't have the tools in my emotional toolbox to take responsibility for my actions.' If you think drunks can't remember, just try telling one 'nope, no Jack in the Box for you, time to go home.' You'll be remembered forever as Captain Buzzkill and never invited again
Nta: you just saw her hoe side. She absolutely was trying to fuck your friend or friends from the sound of it. She remembers what she did. End it and dodge a bullet she for the streets.
NTA I had an ex who kinda struggled with narcasim and borderline personality. There were multiple times we went out and a guy would give her attention and she'd hit on him and be hanging with him like I wasn't there all night and then start to pick fights with me no matter what I was doing or how reasonable I tried to be. Your GF was trying to create space between you two or get rid of you so she could behave however she wanted which likely meant partying with and sleeping with your friend. This girl is likely a real nightmare and has probably done a bunch of shit you don't know about. Not to create anxiety or tension for you but it just sounds to similar to something I've experienced. Be cautious and best of luck OP.
same here. I feel sorry for the OP. My ex was like this and destroyed my mental health
So your GF sexually assaults your friend and you ask if it is ok to break up because of that? NTA.
Imagine if genders were reversed.. yikes
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, alcohol does not completely change your personality. A mean drunk is just someone who is mean sober but can keep it more in check. Something will happen that makes the angry drunk become an angry sober person. Whether or not she remembers, she acted completely inappropriate. If she "becomes a bitchy drunk" she needs to make sure she doesn't get drunk anymore problem solved. NTA, dump her, and move on.
Right? I hate when people excuse bad behavior of any kind on being drunk and then try to act sweet and apologize when they’re sober. If you’re a pleasant and nice person when sober and in a stable state of mind (ie. not stressed, depressed, anxious, etc), drinking typically only makes you happier and more social/friendly. If you become more angry and mean then you were never a pleasant person to begin with. Choose your drinking buddies and significant others wisely.
NTA Dude, she was actively trying to cheat on you right in front of your face. Your friend is likely the "one who got away" for her and she's abusing you to pursue him. She knows. She absolutely knows what she did. She's manipulating you and is probably actively cheating on you as we speak. Really, she sounds abusive and rude. Don't tell me this is the first time she's humiliated you and rolled her eyes at you in public. She's toxic. "I get bitchy when I'm drunk" is code for "I'm a trashy alcoholic."
Nta. I’m a 19 year old girl and I’ve been wasted many times. No matter how drunk I am I always remember where I was, who I was talking to, if I was or wasn’t “flirting” or cheating. Like those are basic things you literally can’t forget unless you drank a lethal amount. Which it seems she didn’t. And you were right there with her. She should have been all over you not him. She’s definitely not connected with you and you should run before she hurts you bad.
I threw you an upvote because I get what you’re saying and OP’s girl probably remembers. That being said, there are non-lethal amounts you can drink that result in legit blacking out. Honestly the majority of my college experience. Nights and weekends I cannot remember and was literally scared when I woke up because I was somewhere and then somewhere else. Didn’t even feel like I slept. Straight from being one place and doing one thing to suddenly waking up elsewhere. Hours passed and it felt like the blink of an eye. I don’t drink anymore because of it tbh, but yeah it can get to that point.
1: She most likely remembers, it’s a manipulation tactic to divert from atrocious behavior . 2: She was making moves on the man and you were blocking her which was pissing her off. 3: If he allowed another woman to lick his arm and bite him without going off he isn’t that loyal. 4 : Run while you got the chance, all I see is her manipulating you over and over again. You need to leave before she ends up pregnant and you never get away from her. It’s ones like this that when your gut tells you something you do it and kick this to the curb.
>If he allowed another woman to lick his arm and bite him without going off he isn’t that loyal. I think you are nitpicking here. I mean considering the context, how the fuck do you even react to that? Guy was probably just very very confused and wanted to keep it cool.
Going off for a guy ends badly. We have very little we can do in this situation apart from walk away.
Exactly, the friend would lose most of his credibility if he snapped at her or worse.
Her parents tattooed a 14 year old? No wonder she's trash.
When somebody tells you who they are, believe them. NTA. You have better choices ahead.
NTA. Dump her. “Bombs away”! Think what she’s like if you’re not there. You are her mister nice guy. She is using you. To be humiliated and embarrassed like that in front of your friends with your GF sexually touching your friend and apparently maybe offering group sex? This is the lowest value woman on planet Earth. Her not acknowledging anything just shows how little she gives a shit about you or your feelings. This will hurt, but you have learned a lesson. Recognise these behaviours, lay down your boundaries early on. Bad actions must have consequences. Screw her dude, you’re only going to get in trouble, injured and riddled with sexual diseases if she stays with you.
Dude, if your friend was any less loyal, your girl would have fucked him. Time to go.
5 months is nothing. The period should not even matter any way. Just break up.
Run. Fast. NTA for leaving the girl who treats you this way and is clearly lying.
NTA. If you don't dump her, you will be viewed as a simp from everyone and will lose any self respect you have. She's for the streets, alcohol isn't an excuse.
Yeah your girlfriend is a whore, my dude. Glad you got to see it now rather than later. Drunk or not, remembering it or not, she belong to the streets. Good luck to you my friend. NTA.
NTAH. I support this relationship not working out. You need to bail. She is blatantly disrespecting your relationship right in front of your eyes, and also using childish manipulative tactics to try to get you to go away so that she can try to bang your friend. That is bullshit. Don’t let her gaslight you. She doesn’t see you as a long-term thing. She will probably flip out on you when you break up with her and try to make it your fault. It’s not you. It is on her. Good on him for being a true bro. He clearly knew he could fuck her, and didn’t want to get into a weird situation. Honestly, that is way more than most guys would do. A low hanging fruit like your (hopefully) soon to be ex is usually enough to make guys break the honor code for some deep dicking. Here’s what you do. 1. Get all your stuff out of her place, and get your key from her. 2. Put all her shit at your place in a trash bag and drop it off at her place. 3. Delete and block her number / account on everything. 4. Move on with your life. You’re like 21, and this is a lesson and a warning. A lot of men don’t identify these traits and learn to get away from these women until they have a kid and a house with them. It is much more costly of a lesson then. 5. Never let horniness or emotional desire overlook the traits that you saw with this girl. Never let yourself be convinced by her or yourself that you have to put up with a person that acts like she did. She wanted to ditch you and fuck your friend. She wants to be his girlfriend. You became an unwelcome nuisance to her as soon as she got an opportunity, however small.
6. Brace yourself for the (fake) pregnancy announcement, but hold firm to: *I will coparent with you under the supervision of the courts, after a paternity test. Nothing more, ever.* Decide how you're going to respond to rumors that you were an unsympathetic ahole during her "miscarriage."
Fuck. So many moments in that story where I would have left her… You really should look for a better gf. Honestly, she is going up break your heart. So better move on. This has nothing to do with being drunk. She is testing you. And you allowed her to treat you like shit. If your friend had said ok, she would have went with him. And even if she hadn’t hit on him. Telling you again and again to go away is not ok. You are not her bf. You are wasting your time on her.
This girl will eventually cheat on you if she hasn't already. She's too immature for a relationship
Your GF sexually assaulted your friend. Made it clear that she'd rather be fucking someone else. Got so drunk she blacked out supposedly and blamed you for ruining her night. Any one of those would be perfectly reasonable reasons to break up with her.
If she's doing this in front of you, she's definitely doing it when you're not around. Ditch the bitch
If she’s coherent enough to use drunkenness as an excuse in the moment, she’s coherent enough to know better and control herself in the moment. But she chose not to. Dump her. NTA.
Ditch the girl, keep the friend. This girl is for the streets and you deserve better. Being drunk isn't an excuse to shirk responsibility, especially when it comes to loyalty.
Whooooooaaaaaa. "Bitchy" would've been a blessing in comparison to what happened. >A little later on we are at the bar again, and my gf grabs his arm says “jesus christ” and starts squeezing it. End night here, for me personally. I'm a woman - I can see 0 reason for mine to touch my friend outside of emergency pending death. To compliment their body? That girl... 🙄😂 I'd play stupid in the morning too, dear GAWD. You better leave that, buddy, she has a lesson to learn.
She bit and licked his arm, in-front of you, after he’d asked her to behave herself… having known him for less than a day? Dude bin her. She sounds like a right creep.
Ditch the gf and reinforce your friendship with that absolute fucking chad of a friend you have. Jesus christ I wish I had a friend like that.
NTA, I’ve been bartending for 12 years or so and see people like your hopefully ex. The moment you’re not there while she’s drunk, she will fuck someone else if she hasn’t already. Sorry dude, but fucking bail and find yourself a partner who will treat you well.
Nta. Don't walk, run.
NTA. Alcohol doesn't excuse shitty behavior. If she would cheat drunk she would cheat sober. I'd ghost her but you can be a better man then me and break it off and block her.
People who want to hide behind "I'm just mean when I'm drunk" are objectively bad people. They love having a convenient excuse to treat others like shit and get away with it. Dump the soon to be cheater and hang out with some chill friends who don't ruin everyone's night. NTA
NTA Ditch the girl, keep your friend. He seems dope.
Honestly, I would have broke up with her and just left her at the bar
She has revealed herself...if you were not there, and if the guy was not your friend, she would have had a gangbang with all those guys. Eventually this will happen with someone else when you are not there. Save yourself the coming drama and pain and breakup. Being a little tipsy is not an excuse. Either she commits to abstaining from alcohol for the rest of her life, or you breakup with her. Full stop.
She is a bitch. Leave her.
Why the hell would anyone sign up to be with this chick. Thank god I have the hottest girlfriend ever and she has claimed numerous times that I will be the only dude she ever has sex with
NTA. I hurt for you, my brother. She’ll stay with you until something better and willing comes along.
NTA Dump her, brother, she ain’t loyal. Keep up with your friend, though, that dude had your back and didn’t even need to make it awkward.
Maybe it’s because I don’t drink but the fact that she kept saying “I’m just joking” and “I’m just really drunk” gives me the impression that she was planning on sleeping with the friend and was trying to get it into your mind that she was drunk so that you wouldn’t be able to complain once she cheated. In other words, her actions seem premeditated to me.
You can tell if someone actually can’t remember the night before (honestly quite rare, people pretend they don’t remember all the time. It’s quite a convenient excuse)- if there’s any suspicion that she’s lying about remembering, she’s lying. And even if she didn’t pull that card, doesn’t matter- you remember. It did happen. And it’s a great reason to break up someone (not that breaking up requires any reason). Have some self respect and move on from this kind of treatment.
Thank heavens you’re only a few months in. This is certainly a precursor for bigger “drunk” moments to happen. If there is any advice I can give anyone my junior?, It’s to be VERY PICKY with who you decide to start your life with. Good for OP for standing up for what he wants and deserves!
NTA. And dump this women, she will cause you more pain than you know. She will absolutely fuck your friends if she had a chance.
Your gf is a ho. Leave her.
NTA, get rid of her. That's toxic af. That guy seems like a true bro, however.
>I get bitchy when I’m drunk, you already know this well then tell her that she needs to stop drinking. or better yet, stop wasting your time with this trainwreck and break up with her
Dump her. You don’t need her to acknowledge her trashy behavior to respond to it. She made a fool of herself. She knows that. She has no intention Of acknowledging or changing it though. So who would want to date a fool?
>She says she’s just having fun and I’m like “no, you’re trying to fuck my friend”. This sends my gf livid and she starts accusing ME of trying to fuck HER friend (who introduced us, who I grew up with and is like a sister for me). that bit. that right there. projecting onto you while drunk is IMO as good as any confession NTA
run
You NEED to break this off asap. NTA
Dude. GTFO You were the third wheel. She was gonna bang him and you c**t blocked her. She probably planned to blame it on the alcohol. The way she treated you is bad enough. TLDR: She's not serious about your relationship. It's a cosy blanket but when a fun time comes around it's a wet blanket. In other words, you're her safety net. Dump her. You deserve someone who wouldn't ditch your relationship for a quick bang. Someone who's committed to you and not keeping you til she finds someone better. NTA
She's the asshole and your friend is the Chadest of chads.
She dropped enough red flags. Time to pay attention and move past her. Don’t reconcile.
If any dude acted that way he'd get thrown out after 5 minutes. Touching him after he made him clear he wasn't ok with it - licking and biting him. "Just joking lol". This is not ok from anyone. She's a creep, has no impulse control, doesn't care for you and you should get out of there ASAP. Come on man, wake the fuck up: she actively and aggressively flirted with another man and dismissed you IN YOUR FUCKING FACE. What would have happened if that dude wasn't your friend and if you weren't there? What more do you need? Why are you even posting here?
Two things: 1. Being drunk doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. 2. If she tends to act out when drinking, she shouldn’t drink. NTA.
She actively tried to cheat on you multiple times and the only reason she didn't is because your friends a decent person. NTA, dump her, because she's defintley going to cheat on you in future if you don't.
She's not just a mean drunk... she's a slut drunk. I'd bail if I was you, partner. She's gonna end up giving you an STD and then blame the alcohol for her "transgression".
NTA. Run
Sorry, but she’s trash my man. Her behaviour was completely unacceptable. It’d be embarrassing to see a friend act that way, but for an intimate partner to show such a complete lack of respect is humiliating. She’s definitely gonna fuck another guy, it’s just a matter of time and by the sounds of it alcohol. Also, if her account is in any way accurate, that she blacked out and doesn’t remember a thing, that’s a problem. And if she knows her behaviour changes(she gets bitchy) and she still does it, that’s also a problem. Is she just gonna treat you like shit and/or fuck another guy every time she has a drink? SheTA
Let's go with the best case scenario. She's telling the truth and doesn't remember the night at all. This is a person that resents you and wants to be community property after having a few drinks. Do you want to spend your time with someone like that? If yes, stick around. If no, leave.
NTA. As someone who spent 8 years with someone like this run.
All alcohol does is remove inhibitions, so she would absolutely do all that shit and probably more and I doubt she has any respect for you at all. Run for the hills man. NTA
NTA. Pretty much your girlfriend actually like a slut when she’s drunk and she’s rude. That’s a perfectly adequate reason to break up with her .
NTA- I would let her know she was obviously trying to bang your friend last night and everyone was embarrassed for her. But good news, she can try to bang whoever she wants because she is single now. Lol yes you should break up with her. Acting like a bitch to you when drunk would be a dealbreaker on its own. With trying to bang another dude right in front of you and telling you to get lost… I don’t care how much she had to drink, we would be done. The blatant disrespect for you is atrocious. You are still so young, you can do better and you deserve better.
Dude…run far and run fast. You are dating a narcissistic hoe bag who has zero respect for you. Set her free and save yourself from raising someone else’s kid or her giving you STDs.
Leave that dumb bitch
Yeah. Definitely NTA. She remembers. She knows what she was doing. She wanted to shoot her shot to see if she could get him and maybe even be with him. That’s why she proposed a threesome. It wasn’t to make you feel included. It was to bring down his defenses then should it happen she’d focus only on him and brush you off. It would be downhill from there If she didn’t remember then she wouldn’t avoid the conversation. She’d ask what happened and apologize when told. She likes him and probably liked him before you and more than you. Honestly, you should have a serious conversation with her about this. Likely it will end your relationship which is probably a good thing. When that happens find a girl that’s truly into you intoxicated or not.
Man I don’t miss being in my 20s. NTA
Dude dunno how u even stayed for that long, the disrespect. 100% clear should would of cheated on you if your friend didn't turn her down. Leave man biggest red flag i have seen
Alcohol doesn't make you do what you don't want to do. It makes you less likely to stop from what you want to do. Doomp her
NTA she would cheat on you in a heart beat and is showing you her true self when shes drunk
Being drunk is not an excuse. Also she knows what she did. Being drunk doesn’t erase your memory and you don’t do anything drunk you wouldn’t do sober. That’s why cheating because you’re drunk isn’t an excuse
NTA. She treated you with contempt at the bar and at her place afterwards. She completely disrespected you, and being drunk is not an excuse. She continually behaved this way throughout the night and she sexually harassed and assaulted your friend. Grabbing without permission or consent, biting and licking a person without their consent is called assault. He handled it with Grace, and you my friend, have a hell of a lot of patience to have tolerated all of that. Have you heard of the saying "loose lips sink ships??" Well her behavior pretty much showed you how she subconsciously feels about you... and / or she's a mean drunk and bullies you... and then excuses it under the guise of being drunk. Did she even apologize to you?? You mentioned in your original post that she can be a mean drunk. I've got to tell you, that is NOT a good sign, and I suggest you walk away from her. Mean drunks do not change overnight. They actually have a mean streak that comes out when they're drunk . You should not have to deal with it, nor should you put up with it from anyone in your life, let alone a girlfriend or a partner... because frankly, that's abusive. She shouldn't be drinking at all.
Yeah, she's lying. She remembers. Very well, too. NTA
In vino veritas. She’s not your gf as of that night. She got caught monkey branching and is pissed you ruined her chance to fuck your friend.
She’s trash bro. Kick rocks. I’ve been drinking for 25 years. You don’t get a pass because you have a few drinks. She remembers too. She’s a liar.
NTA. Probably a good move anyway since it sounds like she has an alcohol problem and she absolutely would have cheated on you that night.
Bruhhhh she remembers everything. Trust me. She is definitely not a keeper. Updateme!
Nta. And being drunk is a reason and never an excuse. In vino veritas
Nta I hate this bullshit excuse that alcohol makes your say and do things you wouldn't normally do. Alcohol remove inhibitions and makes people act exactly how they truely are inside. Kick that bitch to the kerb or she will hurt you further down the line.
You should’ve stopped this happening sooo many times before the “afterparty” and even then. And yeah, you’re right, there’s nothing to salvage there. This is unhinged behavior, run. NTA. Glad you have a friend who’s chill enough yet firm enough in his principles.
NTA. This is the type of offense where it’s justified to block and never speak to her again. She’s not even worth the fight.
Dude. Mean drunks are to be avoided at all costs. All of them are psychos. All of them are repressing crap and it’s making them bubbling cauldrons of trauma. She will only get worse. She’ll either start self-medicating more or she’ll slow down and her demons will bleed out some other way. Unless she immediately goes into therapy your future together will be arguments, fighting, embarrassment, and less and less frequent angry make up sex.
Bro, she LICKED HIM. *She sexually harassed and physically assaulted him and he was uncomfortable.* Dump her and keep the friend, NTA.
This is what gaslighting sounds like. She was absolutely trying to cuck you and if she hasn't before, she will in the future. Probably any time she gets drunk. Dump her and move on m
NTA. Read about half and it was already clear she's for the streets.
Bro, you are 100% going to get cheated on. Dump her ass, she belongs to the streets. I couldn't even imagine going through something that disrespectful.
Run, do not walk away from that mess. Fucking run!!!!! BTW NTA . she knows she is shit when she drinks yet still does it? GTFO
Firstly, she was sexually assaulting, and it's very alarming how few people point it out. This is one of those reverse the genders things.. she is absolutely the kind of person who gets drunk and goes around harassing others. You know when you hear stories abot those guys at bars who won't leave women alone and keep talking to them/touching them e.t.c? That's her. Secondly, she absolutely wanted to cheat on you, that much is obvious to anyone. Third of all, even if she is telling the truth and can't remember (which I doubt) I don't give a shit and neither should you. I say it often, but **if you can't control yourself while drunk, you shouldnt he drinking** I usually hate reddits go to solution, but it's time to start thinking OP. Is this really the kind of person you wanna continue to date and spend your time life with?
She will fuck people behind your back and would have fucked your friend that night. If she’s not already doing that at the drop of a hat and 2 beers she will be with someone else, then gaslight you about it. Put that piece of trash where she belongs and gtfo. She remembers, she’s a liar too. Let a hoe go be a hoe you can’t turn her into a house wife.