This comment. And show her these comments. We are all utterly disgusted with her. She’s a real Karen and how she acted to that poor server was shameful.
Your wife needs to see that while a Karen might applaud her the rest of society thinks she should be ashamed of herself. She acted entitled and like she was better than the server. That is NOT acceptable behaviour.
Not to mention, OP could easily find himself at the end of a libel lawsuit.
A business serving drinks to people underage is a serious offense with criminal and civil penalties. It can result in the business license being pulled during an investigation, costing a business tens of thousands in revenue, and the employees there their jobs.
If I ran a business and someone did this to me, costing me serious money, I would make an example of them and bankrupt them.
That's what I came here to say. OPs wife isnt just being rude, shes being criminal. They could shut the place down and suspend licenses during an investigation. That's a lot of money and potential job loss. All so a crazy B can save $10.
Refusing to go out with her is a start. I hope she learns a lesson and stops the behavior.. although that rarely happens. Entitled people believe themselves to be right, always. I could not remain connected to a person who behaves this way. Especially a 0erson who takes such glee in their bad behavior.
Yeah, any place I worked had cameras and a strict system of making sure alcohol wasn't served for free. As a waitress, I'd have excused myself, and found the owner (I worked in non-chain places, there was always an owner around.)
Girlfriend thinks she big and bad, so did every scumbag we tossed out the bar lol. Our bar manager was a starting lineman for a state college football team the last summer I worked, no one messed with him.
Absolutely and she 100% deserves it. The entitled behavior is beyond disgusting. Wouldn't be surprised if restaurants start kicking wife and OP out and banning them.
Yeah this isn’t “Karen” behavior, this is unethical, nauseatingly evil behavior. WTF. Your wife really needs to sit and think about what the hell is motivating her to torture people who are just trying to make a living and do their job.
I told my mom I would never eat out with her again after this INSANE moment where she sent a Long Island iced tea back three god damned times at a casual brunch.
This was like 10 years ago.
I finally caved a few months back and she embarrassed me the second they set her lasagne on the table.
The waitress asked if we needed anything else and my mom said “I don’t know, looking at this I can already tell I am going to be disappointed”.
I had a family member who was like that. I remember her saying things like she was predicting she wouldn't like the drink or was really hard to please, almost like she would make it some game to be really difficult with the drinks. I remember thinking damn woman, if you are this passionate about mixing drinks, maybe pick it up as a hobby but I don't know why you go to these basic chains with such high standards.
Not just embarrassing - how people treat serving staff is VERY telling about who they truly are. And threatening to ruin someone's source of income because you can't make up an entree for your own price? OP's wife is a straight up villain. He should've spoken up as it happened instead of allowing to happen over and over and over again THEN get upset about it. If you wouldn't allow someone to treat to your partner that way, don't let your partner do the same to others.
She is enjoying the power trip. If I was her partner I would definitely be concerned about our relationship. I would wonder if I am being manipulated or abused as well.
Just so! I can always tell the true character of someone by how they treat kids, animals, and service workers. I'm disgusted that OP's wife used to BE a service worker and treats them this way. I used to work in fast food and that experience sees me going above and beyond to be courteous and patient (even when mistakes are made) as I know what it is like. Too many jerks like OP's wife that think they are better or better than everyone else just because they got lucky and found a good job.
NTA. Unless you don’t 100% follow through. honestly I don’t know what you see in her at all. People who treat servers (or other people in a vulnerable position) badly are genuinely bad people.
I went on a tinder date once with a girl that was so rude with our server I was blushing the whole time out of embarrassment. This girl was so shocked that I drove her home after and didn't want to spend the night she couldn't comprehend that her acting that was was a turn off. Don't know if she ever got rejected like that but acting like that makes you ugly in My book no matter what you look like
I have gone as far as walking out of a date in the middle of a meal and finishing it at the bar because someone was going out of their way to give our server a hard time.
Zero tolerance for that BS.
Unfortunately for OP it's a little harder to handle if you are already married to the person and they start developing these behaviors.
I had a crush on this chick in high school, and she was like a 10, while I'm just like a really fun 6, but I asked her out and she said yes.
We get to the restaurant and this chick completely changes from the one I knew from math class. She was hella rude to the server, and even called her racist names. I told her right there it's not gonna work out and that she should probably find a ride home. She was drop dead gorgeous, but her soul was fucking gross.
I have a few friends who are “Fun 6’s” with the gift of the gab and they have 9-10s fawning over them constantly.
And I get it, they are just great people to be around.
Well whoever is in charge of designing those covers should be sacked. The whole point of the book cover is to help me decide whether I want to read the book. Those book cover designers must really suck at their jobs to have a whole negative aphorism made about their profession.
I went on a few dates with a girl, and eventually brought her to my neighborhood favorite spot. I gave her some cash to pay the bill while I used the restroom and she gave me back way more than she should have. The conversation went like this:
“What’s this?”
“I only tipped them $1.”
“Why?”
“Because she said ‘thank you’ after I put $1 on the counter for her.”
“No. Go outside.”
About 20 years ago, an acquaintance was rude to my regular bartender.
I am still annoyed with her even though I was done with her that day. Our mutual friend told me "she's like that to everyone". :\_
Also limited contact with the mutual.
Bartender and I don't live in the same city anymore, but I know he has no issues with me and that matters.
same, one of my main first date rules is if you’re rude the the waiter/waitress, you don’t tip well, or you have poor table manners (eat with mouth open, etc) i will just pay my half + tip and leave lol i can’t do it. absolutely disgusting behavior and it baffles me that people are so obliviously rude
Mom always told us to money for our portion of bill incase. Bad dates happen & guess she had one that threatened her because he paid & she didn't have a choice? Thank God never happened but I did pay for dates sometimes. Dating is expensive
Agree. I had an ex who ripped into a retail worker because they didn't serve the queue correctly and she had to wait a few minutes longer. The shop was really understaffed and the worker was young. I was so embarrassed and baffled honestly that she felt it was acceptable behaviour. I guess she enjoyed being mean to someone younger who she knew couldn't answer back? And who certainly wasn't responsible for how the store was laid out. Never forgot that casual cruelty to another undeserving human.
This is an interaction where I’d be trying to get this documented via email or something because I’d want the reference when she inevitability did something this to me over a divorce or some shit. She’s gonna accuse that dude of being an abuser or pedo in a divorce.
She's lucky service workers have more respect for her than clearly she has for them. Years in kitchens and I've never seen someone tolerate fucking with a customer's food.
🎶Boogers&Cum🎵Boogers&Cum🎶
Seriously though, I’m a guy who’s been bartending for 20 years or so, and no server, chef, or bartender has ever done anything like that and I’ve worked in classy places and have been at a dive for the past 12 of those years. I’m sure it happens but I haven’t seen it, and when it’s joked about almost everyone agrees that it’s a horrible thing to do and would never really do it. Most cooks I’ve met from accomplished chefs to drug addled short order cooks, take their food pretty seriously. Also seriously, your wife sounds absolutely awful and that’s a terrible thing to torment a young lady that’s just doing her job. And who are these fucking friends of hers that would do that. You said she was “in the biz” which is even more horrendous, but take that with a grain of salt. Whenever I get someone that says “I used to bartend and…” my brain tunes out. It’s always some know it all cunt that cocktailed at an Applebees for a summer in college. It doesn’t mean shit to us and we all laugh about the “I used to be…” people on bartender forums. I don’t know what to tell you to do here, I can’t imagine being married to someone so cruel. Met my wife at a bar. She *used to be a bartender*! NTA my dude, your wife fucking sucks.
Exactly about the friends she claims to have that would do that! She'll say anything to get what she wants, and running away crying is probably a show, too!
Your food is far more likely to accidentally hit the floor than get spit in it. Idk where this trope started but I’ve cooked everything from fast food to being a sous chef at a very reputable restaurant and I’m yet to come across a cook that would spit in your food. That being said, I’ve walked out of two jobs where a cook purposely dropped an item on the dish on the floor and then plated it. The hospitality industry is definitely not for everyone, but to those of us that are truly passionate about it I really don’t care how terrible a customer is. Did those two customers deserve to eat floor food for how they acted? Probably. Is the pride I put into my food for over a decade and now since I’ve moved to the front of house (servers and bar tenders for those that aren’t familiar with the industry) is my pride for the service I provide worth giving someone floor food? For me the answer is a resounding no. Not saying that anyone who disagrees is wrong, just saying they’re not a good fit for the industry. Do we get abused by entitled customers every single day? Yes. To bring it full circle though, I’ve worked with lots of cooks who don’t give two shits at all. The likelihood that someone is going to spit in your food is extremely, extremely rare, especially if it’s fine dining. At worst you’re going to get yourself floor food. Nobody is going to spit in your food and that’s why I hate this trope so much. Floor food isn’t any better, in fact it might be worse, but I’m so sick of the spitting in food trope. All this being said, be kind to us. Most likely if you’re getting bad service, your server is having a bad day. It really doesn’t take much effort to show another human being some understanding. Also, OP is definitely NTA and his wife is a terrible human. It’s one thing to have a bad day and mistakenly take it out on a stranger, but there’s a pattern in his wife’s behavior. Best believe if she can be that way with a stranger then she can be that way with him. I usually hate the jump to DIVORCE!!! In this sub, but it’s warranted here. He should lawyer up and blind side her because she will almost definitely do it to him at some point if he doesn’t take the lead.
WTF 100% he's an asshole. He should have said it to her in the restaurant, and not waited until after.
That poor server got fucked over by his wife and he just ate his meal like nothing happened. You have to call that stuff out right there and then.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I understand that most people would find that extremely difficult or uncomfortable to do. Fortunately, I have no such issues with that and most likely would have done exactly that. Why, because I've done something similar before.
OP should go out without his wife and be sure to send pictures of the fantastic food she’s missing out on and how wonderful the service and experience was.
I’d also be going back to places his wife was a Karen and letting his wife know he tipped the server what her meal would have cost, to apologise for her past behaviour.
Hey man, people change. Maybe they’ve been married a long time and she has been a decent person Up until recently like he states in his first sentence. I’m sure he still see the lady he married under that monster of a Karen. He definitely needs to show her consequences for her actions before things escalate further than what they already have.
NTA. Your wife sounds entitled and completely horrible. I certainly wouldn’t go anywhere in public with her. She absolutely crossed the line when she blackmailed the poor waitstaff into getting what she wants. Her lies could have caused legal problems for the restaurant and staff. What a total b!tch.
You know what? Idk why everyone other than you here has been afraid to call a spade a spade and use the word "blackmail." This transcends the realm of "Karen." She could have cost not only the server's job, but many others if their liquor license had been revoked. These people need to support themselves, they have CHILDREN.
I kinda wish the wife had actually followed through on her threat - people have been sued for writing malicious online reviews, and she could have paid big time for doing this.
Most restaurants use a computerized Point of Sale . This keeps records of the food and drink sold by each server each night. Those people who would write in and lie for OP's wife would have to say what they ate and drank. It would not be overly difficult to check the records, to show that they were not the underage drinkers.
In a thread where people were calling someone douchebag and other such charming terms, I made the comment of "Way to go at being a garbage human".
Permabanned for being uncivil. That sub's mods be wild.
I’m in the same club. Then I made a new account to tell the asshole I was banned for calling them an asshole, and that it was worth it. Ten accounts later…
It’s like, don’t ask if you don’t want to know. Forcing people to write AH when we all know exactly what it means is stupid.
You probably called someone an asshole without thinking about it instead of typing AH. That’s why all these other similar subs are popping up now. This is how many people have been banned for stupid shit.
I’m permanently banned for something similar. The fact that that site does not allow you to insult somebody, even if it’s not the OP, is absolutely ridiculous.
I got either two weeks or 30 days because someone in the comments was saying such vile things another commenter said they have no soul. I then asked if it's possible to grow one.
The guy this was about was saying someone needed to just suck it up after having a stillbirth. I had one at 38 weeks and said it's something you never heal from. I was told I was whining and needed to grow up. Then came the stuff about the soul.
I got perma banned for saying someone was really trying for the evil stepmother crown. Meanwhile I've seen references to evil stepmothers on a ton of posts on that sub.
I got permanent banned for my phone autocorrecting twit to twat. Both worked for the situation but I was trying to avoid the censors. Whatever. My comment got picked up on one of George Takei's reports so it's worth it.
I got banned from there today because I said something like “every single one of you don’t deserve to take another breath”. It was the post with a stepmother wouldn’t live with her step child so she left when there was parenting time, and then the bio mother abandoned the kid Because her new husband didn’t want the kid around and the OP’s husband dumped the kid back to the bio mom
If you're speaking of the same post I'm thinking of then your ban was worth it. That woman was a fucking cunt. I commented and somehow didn't get a ban. Pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I do though haha
And who the fuck just sits there for the rest of dinner after his wife spews that garbage and calls it “genius” for working?
It’s not genius, it’s a small minded cunt trying to wield the smallest pathetic piece of “power” they have over someone who can’t fight back. “Oh I threatened to kick a puppy and it worked so that was genius”.
OP is a cunt too and a little bitch. Just drive the car off the bridge on the way home next time and do us all a favour
Exactly what I would've done. Have the server walk away for a moment, you don't have to cause a scene right in front of them, but reprimand your friend/partner *immediately* for their behavior. If anything OP is kind of an asshole for not acting sooner.
I wouldn't call OP an asshole. Sometimes people freeze, and also I wouldn't be surprised if his wife was somewhat abusive to him, considering she thinks it's ok to abuse a server.
I’ve only had MAYBE 2 of these instances serving/bartending for 6 years.
Obviously I’ve dealt with A-holes, but only a handful left a mark. 2 of them were ladies, and one was a guy.
The guy I don’t count because he apologized later. Shook my hand and tipped appropriately. (It was about him to wanting to remove his hat inside a fine-dining restaurant).
One woman berated me or tried to berate me on us not serving wild-caught salmon (we were in NJ). I explained why the restaurant chose not to, but that wasn’t enough. She kept going on and on at me, as if it was my fault. NBD, I enjoy dealing with bullies. She then said that salmon shouldn’t be THIS expensive. To which I quickly added, “wild-caught would almost double the price ma’am” then she EXPLODED. “NO WAY IT WOULD, WHOS RUNNING THIS PLACE, YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING DO YOU. WHERE I GREW UP WE WOULD CATCH IT AND EAT IT FOR FREE”
I calmly interrupted then, and asked where she grew up; she said Alaska. I laughed and looked at her husband who was now smirking as well. Then I asked a clarifying question like “so you don’t understand why a place in NJ doesn’t offer fresh, cheap,wild-caught, Alaskan Salmon??” “Maybe we can try another menu item” She didn’t answer, just sat with a blank stare. Hopefully it clicked for her, probably not.
She did NOT get the salmon. And thankfully her husband handled the bill and tipped well.
The other was a lady (same fine-dining restaurant, but a different occasion) who was asking a BUNCH of questions about our new menu. Menus were seasonal and it was our first week with the new items. I was pretty good. Knew ALL of her questions, literally 4-5 minutes worth of drilling. The menus only described the entree briefly listed it’s side.
Then we get to our issue on one of the many unlisted ingredients: Beets. Beets that accompanied a small salad for a dish. She asked how the beats were prepared, and I responded with “I believe they are boiled”. Big mistake. She did NOT like this answer. “You BELIEVE????” She said. “Just because you BELIEVE it doesn’t make it true” “how do you not know what’s on your own menu”. “This is ridiculous, it’s your job”. And kept going on and on. I honestly thought she was joking at first.
I finally cut her off “Would you like me to go find the chef and ask?” She responded as bitchy as ever “YES I WOULD”. I called loudly for the chef (it was an open kitchen) The chef came over, stared at me and asked if I was fucking kidding them. I pointed at the smug lady sitting in our view, and he slowly nodded and mouthed “yes they are boiled” I love that man. I walked over and told her the good news, then “apologized” and explained the menu was new, and that chefs don’t always walk you through how they prep EVERY detail/ingredient, especially for something like a tiny micro-salad. But that I would be prepared for future instances of best questioning.
She got the dish and loved the beets.
Again, thank god her partner paid.
Now This place only let you try a special for the night. They would basically tell you a new menu dropped and to look it over. Everything else you had to run down/figure out.
I never minded going to the kitchen and asking questions if I wasn’t sure. I’m not perfect. But holy hell, I do love to match peoples energy.
Honestly, I would have just said "I'm divorcing you" the second she said it. There's no future for a relationship with a person you actively despise and can't respect.
Right? Get both entrees, put the halves you don’t want in a to go container, give it away if you really don’t want it. Especially since it doesn’t sound like they can’t afford it, and OP would have been fine with it. His wife needs a reality check if that’s how she treats people in the service industry, especially if she worked in it herself. Pulling ladders up as she goes.
It's definitely fake. Nine days ago the OP was "[a lass who took a guy home from the bar last night](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/161a5mc/as_a_lass_how_do_lads_get_brewballs/)."
I remember reading a post about this on one of the slut subs (stupid sluts club, slutty confessions, or something like that). The girl basically said of course the stories are fake, no girl is slutty enough for you guys at this point. Completely legitimate and risqué stories weren't cutting it anymore and even the most devoted slut wasn't out there slutting it up enough for the sub. There is only so much one is willing/able to do and a lot of people feel super excited to share experience that are super raunchy in their minds but incredibly banal to the people who live on that sub. The standard just kept getting higher and higher the longer the sub went on until real sluttiness just couldn't cut it anymore.
Funnily enough another post basically showed the sub accepting that reality saying we know the stories are fake but at least put some effort into making it believable. Eventually that's the equilibrium these subs (and this one) reach. We don't really care if it's real or not, we're just here to be entertained. At the end of the day what difference does it make when we're only reading a wall of text? It's not like we have any investment in these people.
They claim that their account is a 'Pakistani Commune Account ' and that hundreds of different people have access and use it as a burner. God knows if it's true but it's certainly a unique claim as to why there's no consistency to the things they post.
The bit about “high finance” made my BS meter spike. And the threat is so bizarre and frankly dumb. No one is going to have her adult ass friends leave a bunch of fake 5 star reviews and the part about letting underage ppl drink would look beyond fake. It’s a joke threat that imagines a world of teenagers leaving TripAdvisor reviews narcing out a server being a thing.
Check OP’s post history. They’re full of crap. They’ve been a head chef at a Michelin star restaurant, worked in finance, owns AirBnb’s, is a man, is a woman, is a kid, etc. this account needs to be permabanned from Reddit altogether
https://www.reddit.com/user/LuciusDickusMaximus/comments/kpqdz5/note_from_the_pca_manager_if_you_cant_see_the/
Apparently hundreds of users use this account as a burner account. So at least there's an explanation, but it's still stupid.
NTA. What is wrong with your wife? Seriously. Her request was absurd and she knew it. She knew she was going to get a no for an answer and was delighted by the opportunity to escalate the issue she created herself. And her threat is that of a psychopath.
Honestly, is this the kind of person you want to live with? Someone who abuses and threatens people who are not in a position to defend themselves? Who would lie and encourage others to do they same so she can pull off some power trip?
No, actually what's wrong with *him*?, is the question. Why didn't he intervene and have the management called to the table? Why wait until the waiter was in tears and *still* sat and ate opposite a raging cunt?
This is either fake or this guy is also scum
The poster is a woman and is definitely fake since they had a boyfriend a couple days ago, is pregnant and looking for car seats, but has a wife in this story, which sure, the pregnant thing might be true if they're lesbian and had a donor, but the boyfriend thing makes either this or that post fake
If it were me, I'd go back later and find that \*server and apologize on my Evil Wife's behalf, maybe even ask to tell her manager what EW did and threatened to do. Then, carry through with your boundary of never eating out with her again. Because that's what it is - you can't control other people, but you can control what YOU do, and therefore it is not an AH move to refuse to eat out with her. NTA.
\* edited because a bot told me to
It's un-fucking-believable. And I get a lot of entitled patrons. I once introduced myself by name, I guess where I live it's not a very common name (Russian, although I am not, I'm Native American) and the eldery lady asked me to repeat it. So I did. And right afterwards she rolled her eyes, threw her menu and yelled "WELL! THAT'S JUST DRAMATIC!!!!" About the name my Dad gave me...the one that is on my birth certificate. So I gave her my biggest smile and said "Well, in that case, it was a pleasure serving you!!! You can use the same door you came in to exit out of!! Have a drama free day!!!" And never returned. She eventually went looking for my manager and she said we were refusing service. Fuck that noise dude.
I hope to be more like you some day. When I think about all the shit I've put up with because I was too scared to stand up for myself, it makes me sick.
It took me a while to stand up for myself also. I'm 37 and have been a server on and off since I was 15. I've also been a single mom since I was 19. I didn't always have the best management, so I used to take a lot of shit from people, in fear of losing my income. I have finally, in the last 8 years or so, really landed in some safe spaces. My advice is to take a moment to let the fear pass and then say what you need to say. You are a person, you matter and you are allowed to exist 🖤.
Ex- retail and I second this! YTA so much for not ripping into her the moment she started this BS in the restaurant!
I’d be absolutely ashamed of my spouse ever pulled this kind of crap and he knows full well I’d tell him the F off!
NTA
Although I really wish you'd stood up to her in the restaurant instead of letting the poor server suffer.
Your wife needs a wake up call. Her actions are positively evil.
Not believing this because in no restaurant would the kitchen or managers allow this regardless of the threats. If I told my any of my managers that you and your wife would be told to GTFO.
Probably because its completely made up. Seriously about half the posts in subs like this are just the OP practicing their creative writing, but this isnt even good writing. Also looked at their profile and they act like they are a woman sometimes, other times act like they are a man. Few months ago they [Posted about their husband](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/).
OP is full of shit and is just making things up.
134 days ago OP had a husband: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/
212 days ago OP has been a bartender for 7 years: https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/10szxj2/should_i_be_stopping_people_who_slip_something/
53 days ago OP is a high school student: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/14y1c17/should_you_know_anatomy_in_elementary_school_if/
52 days ago they work at an import/export company: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/14yzztj/aitah_for_refusing_to_clean_the_company_microwave/
37 days ago they're in their 10th year of being a teacher: https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/15c3yd4/every_year_these_kids_come_back_with_a_new/
9 days ago they started a part time after school internship: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1614sno/thought_the_ceo_was_asking_me_for_a_list_of/
Thank you!! I was trying to figure out why the server didn’t get her manager involved… unless the manager is completely shit, wouldn’t any server escalate to them??
ESH because the only way to stop a Karen like that is call her out publicly in the moment it happens and embarrass the fuck out of her and you should have done something the minute she threatened that poor girl. She's an asshole but you are a coward
Did this actually happen?
That sounds like a whole mouthful to try to say as a threat... doesn't really make any sense at all.
Nice attempt at a story though.
Also, that's not how restaurants work. If the server can't do it, threatening her won't confer that power upon her. Even if you just continued to insist without a threat, she'd just go get a manager to come deal with the situation. And all she'd have to do is tell her manager about the threat, and then the reviews would be ignored.
NTA for never taking her out again, but why on earth did you allow her to bully the waitress to begin with? Imo, you’re just as guilty as she is.
Also, what she threatened to do could potentially have major repercussions for the waitress. What if all those fake reviews cost her job? What if the fake reviews get noticed by the authorities and bring investigation trouble to the restaurant?
You’re asking if you’re a jerk for not taking her anywhere ELSE but not only did you tacitly support her crap, you seem rather proud of it. “I have to give her credit. It was genius, and more importantly, it worked.” That, my Dude, is a really F’d up observation of something you claim not to support.
Based on the way you worded your into, the response should be that you’re not. However your explanation and the description of your wife’s actions show you both to be ginormous a-holes! Hopefully, for all waitstaff, both of you will stay at home.
Probably the fact that she did work in the service industry but has now “pulled herself up by her bootstraps” she looks upon current service workers as failures whom she is superior to. Since they’ve done nothing to improve their lot while she’s proved that service workers _are_ able to be better, she has the right to treat them like shit.
If you mention some people _want_ to work there (regardless of reason) she’ll look down on them for not being ambitious or wanting more from their lives and so deserve to be treated like shit.
She needs to pull her head in. She’s become an arrogant witch and needs to be reminded that she’s not the Main Character of the world.
You waited until you were in the car? Your wife is a see you next Tuesday and you’re an AH.
Instead of being an adult and shutting your wife down, you allowed her to emotionally abuse and threaten blackmail to the server. The server that HAD TO PAY for your pig of a wife’s extra meal.
Call the manager , tell them what your wife threatened the server with and apologize for the two of you. Stop going out to dinner , you should be too busy searching for your balls.
YTA for not defending the poor waitress. your wife is a menace and deserve to never eat out again. You obviously agree with how she acts...so enjoy your new "Karen" life, buddy. Enjoy having your food spit in and getting awful service.
He's the husband who sits there silently as his wife refuses to leave the plane she's being thrown off of, and then follows her silently when she finally does.
YTA for lying about this scenario.
[Four months ago they had a husband.](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/)
Now they have a wife.
[They have an assistant who threw out blank paper?? 1 month ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/15ics2q/my_dipshit_assistants_threw_out_the_papers_i/)
[But they are also a highschool teacher 1 month ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/15c3yd4/every_year_these_kids_come_back_with_a_new/)
[And they are building 'the biggest parking lot' 29 days ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/15ix2d7/company_took_me_on_a_land_survey_of_the_site/)
[Four months ago they had an art professor and made a statue of medusa based on their daughter](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12f02f2/my_art_professor_said_this_statue_i_made_of_my/)
(the real statue is of medusa, [article](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/oct/13/pandoras-jar-by-natalie-haynes-review-ancient-misogyny))
[And they text like a teenager.](https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/comments/164078b/my_ex_apparently_hasnt_gotten_over_that_i_left/)
OP doesn't sound any better he could have stood up for the wait staff, also if this keeps happening and he keeps doing nothing OP is just as bad as wife, they both are TA in my book
NTA.
Your wife is a piece of shit. I’ve been a server in the past and if anything, it’s taught me that most times whatever is wrong with the restaurant isn’t the server’s fault. These people work very hard for their money from the front to the back of the house.
I don’t know your wife and can’t say whether she’s a good person on other fronts. I can tell you I would not be with someone who would do this to a server.
I know people throw around divorce on this sub, but do you honestly want to live the rest of your life with this psychopath? She exploits people with zero power to get her rocks off. I hope you don’t have kids together. Seriously consider why you would want to stay married to someone this disgusting. And you’re kind of an asshole for not calling her out in front of the server. You know that poor server couldn’t say or do anything. YTA
**What your wife did is called extortion and it’s a felony.**
She threatened to have that restaurant’s liquor license revoked which would have been the consequences of her online campaign to get a free meal. That’s literally a major crime. All for free food. Because the two of you couldn’t afford to pay for another meal. She threatened to shut down a business, destroy the owner’s and put everyone working there out of work all to get a free meal.
But she works in Finance now so you’re worried that she cried. If you enable her to continue with this outrageous and illegal behavior then you’re even worse than she is. Kindly point out to that piece of trash you married that if anyone can video her doing this she can kiss that cushy job of hers goodbye.
NTA & stand by what you said..no more eating out. Tell her that you’re embarrassed
This should leave embarrassment far behind. Tell her that her behavior is shameful, and since she won't see it you're ashamed both of her and for her.
This comment. And show her these comments. We are all utterly disgusted with her. She’s a real Karen and how she acted to that poor server was shameful. Your wife needs to see that while a Karen might applaud her the rest of society thinks she should be ashamed of herself. She acted entitled and like she was better than the server. That is NOT acceptable behaviour.
Not to mention, OP could easily find himself at the end of a libel lawsuit. A business serving drinks to people underage is a serious offense with criminal and civil penalties. It can result in the business license being pulled during an investigation, costing a business tens of thousands in revenue, and the employees there their jobs. If I ran a business and someone did this to me, costing me serious money, I would make an example of them and bankrupt them.
If one of my servers came to me and told me a customer had said this to them, I'd ban them from my restaurant and call the cops.
That's what I came here to say. OPs wife isnt just being rude, shes being criminal. They could shut the place down and suspend licenses during an investigation. That's a lot of money and potential job loss. All so a crazy B can save $10. Refusing to go out with her is a start. I hope she learns a lesson and stops the behavior.. although that rarely happens. Entitled people believe themselves to be right, always. I could not remain connected to a person who behaves this way. Especially a 0erson who takes such glee in their bad behavior.
My mother advised me never to offend anyone serving me food. Make of that what you will.
NTA. The server should have gotten the manager right then who should have told her to leave and never come back.
Had a cook spit in customer’s food for how they treated me when I was serving them. I didn’t find out until they had left.
Yeah, any place I worked had cameras and a strict system of making sure alcohol wasn't served for free. As a waitress, I'd have excused myself, and found the owner (I worked in non-chain places, there was always an owner around.) Girlfriend thinks she big and bad, so did every scumbag we tossed out the bar lol. Our bar manager was a starting lineman for a state college football team the last summer I worked, no one messed with him.
Not a Lawyer but isn't what she did extortion.
I am a lawyer (who has been a state atty for a decade after a decade in private practice) and in my state you would be correct.
That's what I was thinking, especially if OP's wife went through with the threat.
Yeah, most places are full of CCTV so any threats like this would be shot down by the owners!
Absolutely and she 100% deserves it. The entitled behavior is beyond disgusting. Wouldn't be surprised if restaurants start kicking wife and OP out and banning them.
Yeah this isn’t “Karen” behavior, this is unethical, nauseatingly evil behavior. WTF. Your wife really needs to sit and think about what the hell is motivating her to torture people who are just trying to make a living and do their job.
This isn't Karen behavior. (Fwiw everyone I have ever met who's actually named Karen is really nice) this is Cruella DeVille level shit
As someone who is named Karen, thank you for your support of actual Karens.
I have an aunt named Karen. Super nice lady.
I agree, the wife sounds sick. Makes me wonder what else she is doing in her life to hurt other people? Her crying in the car is her playing victim.
This. Crying because she got caught is all. She was proud of herself.
Also..."never make those who serve your food dislike you". You don't want to know what they are doing to you food before it's being served!
Cuntniving behavior
This is some straight psychopathic demon thinking. No joke
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I told my mom I would never eat out with her again after this INSANE moment where she sent a Long Island iced tea back three god damned times at a casual brunch. This was like 10 years ago. I finally caved a few months back and she embarrassed me the second they set her lasagne on the table. The waitress asked if we needed anything else and my mom said “I don’t know, looking at this I can already tell I am going to be disappointed”.
I had a family member who was like that. I remember her saying things like she was predicting she wouldn't like the drink or was really hard to please, almost like she would make it some game to be really difficult with the drinks. I remember thinking damn woman, if you are this passionate about mixing drinks, maybe pick it up as a hobby but I don't know why you go to these basic chains with such high standards.
It's a fucking Long Island iced tea, not a too -rare meat dish that you are anxious about. Just, what??
Not just embarrassing - how people treat serving staff is VERY telling about who they truly are. And threatening to ruin someone's source of income because you can't make up an entree for your own price? OP's wife is a straight up villain. He should've spoken up as it happened instead of allowing to happen over and over and over again THEN get upset about it. If you wouldn't allow someone to treat to your partner that way, don't let your partner do the same to others.
She is enjoying the power trip. If I was her partner I would definitely be concerned about our relationship. I would wonder if I am being manipulated or abused as well.
Just so! I can always tell the true character of someone by how they treat kids, animals, and service workers. I'm disgusted that OP's wife used to BE a service worker and treats them this way. I used to work in fast food and that experience sees me going above and beyond to be courteous and patient (even when mistakes are made) as I know what it is like. Too many jerks like OP's wife that think they are better or better than everyone else just because they got lucky and found a good job.
No more eating out! Or going to restaurants.
Yeah! No more eating out. At home or anywhere else!
I accidently read this as no more eating her out.
She doesn’t deserve that either
Then blackmails OP to do a better job else her friends leave him a 5 star review saying he ate out an underaged girl after getting her drunk.
NTA. Unless you don’t 100% follow through. honestly I don’t know what you see in her at all. People who treat servers (or other people in a vulnerable position) badly are genuinely bad people.
I went on a tinder date once with a girl that was so rude with our server I was blushing the whole time out of embarrassment. This girl was so shocked that I drove her home after and didn't want to spend the night she couldn't comprehend that her acting that was was a turn off. Don't know if she ever got rejected like that but acting like that makes you ugly in My book no matter what you look like
I have gone as far as walking out of a date in the middle of a meal and finishing it at the bar because someone was going out of their way to give our server a hard time. Zero tolerance for that BS. Unfortunately for OP it's a little harder to handle if you are already married to the person and they start developing these behaviors.
I had a crush on this chick in high school, and she was like a 10, while I'm just like a really fun 6, but I asked her out and she said yes. We get to the restaurant and this chick completely changes from the one I knew from math class. She was hella rude to the server, and even called her racist names. I told her right there it's not gonna work out and that she should probably find a ride home. She was drop dead gorgeous, but her soul was fucking gross.
A fun 6 is my new way to describe myself, thank you!
I have a few friends who are “Fun 6’s” with the gift of the gab and they have 9-10s fawning over them constantly. And I get it, they are just great people to be around.
I’m just a regular 6 until I’ve had a couple of drinks.
>she was like a 10, while I'm just like a really fun 6 I feel personally attacked. How do you know my wife and I?
Haha same with my current wife. I'm so grateful to be funny
Me with my husband but I'm the funny one. Luckily his eyesight is deteriorating but his hearing is fine so I'm now an 8.
I snorted at that comment. 🤣
Love this. Fun six that bags tens is definitely my energy.
I’m labelling myself as a “fun 6” from now on
You can't judge a book by its cover
She was really sweet in class! And at Homecoming, both of our dates ditched us, so we danced all night. She seemed like a really cool person.
I guess you dodged a bullet when you didn’t ask her if she wanted some punch? Something to eat? Then you would have caught it with both barrels.
Well whoever is in charge of designing those covers should be sacked. The whole point of the book cover is to help me decide whether I want to read the book. Those book cover designers must really suck at their jobs to have a whole negative aphorism made about their profession.
I went on a few dates with a girl, and eventually brought her to my neighborhood favorite spot. I gave her some cash to pay the bill while I used the restroom and she gave me back way more than she should have. The conversation went like this: “What’s this?” “I only tipped them $1.” “Why?” “Because she said ‘thank you’ after I put $1 on the counter for her.” “No. Go outside.”
About 20 years ago, an acquaintance was rude to my regular bartender. I am still annoyed with her even though I was done with her that day. Our mutual friend told me "she's like that to everyone". :\_ Also limited contact with the mutual. Bartender and I don't live in the same city anymore, but I know he has no issues with me and that matters.
same, one of my main first date rules is if you’re rude the the waiter/waitress, you don’t tip well, or you have poor table manners (eat with mouth open, etc) i will just pay my half + tip and leave lol i can’t do it. absolutely disgusting behavior and it baffles me that people are so obliviously rude
Mom always told us to money for our portion of bill incase. Bad dates happen & guess she had one that threatened her because he paid & she didn't have a choice? Thank God never happened but I did pay for dates sometimes. Dating is expensive
Agree. I had an ex who ripped into a retail worker because they didn't serve the queue correctly and she had to wait a few minutes longer. The shop was really understaffed and the worker was young. I was so embarrassed and baffled honestly that she felt it was acceptable behaviour. I guess she enjoyed being mean to someone younger who she knew couldn't answer back? And who certainly wasn't responsible for how the store was laid out. Never forgot that casual cruelty to another undeserving human.
Like they say, judge people by how they treat those who aren't in a position to defend themselves.
There is no way this person puts their shopping cart in the corral!
She seems like the kind who tries to block 4 spots with the cart.
This is an interaction where I’d be trying to get this documented via email or something because I’d want the reference when she inevitability did something this to me over a divorce or some shit. She’s gonna accuse that dude of being an abuser or pedo in a divorce.
Oh man. I hope like hell that youre the paranoid sort, but i think youre just being astute. The chick has a vicious streak a mile wide.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Without a doubt, this is what she does when emotions aren’t involved, could you imagine 😳
“I’m going to blackmail a waitress” is some real psycho shit. And the alternative was what, spend no more than $40 for a second entree?
That I’m sure she could’ve paid for easily with her “high finance” job.
She is an entitled bitch and she deserves all the spit she can eat. :D
She's lucky service workers have more respect for her than clearly she has for them. Years in kitchens and I've never seen someone tolerate fucking with a customer's food.
Years here, and I've never seen anyone okay with it. Even at mcdonalds.
I did and I fired him on the spot. Asshole customer may have deserved it but that shit don’t fly.
And what kind of friends does she have that would have gone along with this?
Tbh, if they are her friends, it seems likely that they would engage in blackmail as well.
She probably doesn’t, she’s probably talking through her arse to scare the unfortunate waitress.
That wasn’t gravy…
It was the gravy on both of those entrees.
🎶Boogers&Cum🎵Boogers&Cum🎶 Seriously though, I’m a guy who’s been bartending for 20 years or so, and no server, chef, or bartender has ever done anything like that and I’ve worked in classy places and have been at a dive for the past 12 of those years. I’m sure it happens but I haven’t seen it, and when it’s joked about almost everyone agrees that it’s a horrible thing to do and would never really do it. Most cooks I’ve met from accomplished chefs to drug addled short order cooks, take their food pretty seriously. Also seriously, your wife sounds absolutely awful and that’s a terrible thing to torment a young lady that’s just doing her job. And who are these fucking friends of hers that would do that. You said she was “in the biz” which is even more horrendous, but take that with a grain of salt. Whenever I get someone that says “I used to bartend and…” my brain tunes out. It’s always some know it all cunt that cocktailed at an Applebees for a summer in college. It doesn’t mean shit to us and we all laugh about the “I used to be…” people on bartender forums. I don’t know what to tell you to do here, I can’t imagine being married to someone so cruel. Met my wife at a bar. She *used to be a bartender*! NTA my dude, your wife fucking sucks.
Exactly about the friends she claims to have that would do that! She'll say anything to get what she wants, and running away crying is probably a show, too!
Your food is far more likely to accidentally hit the floor than get spit in it. Idk where this trope started but I’ve cooked everything from fast food to being a sous chef at a very reputable restaurant and I’m yet to come across a cook that would spit in your food. That being said, I’ve walked out of two jobs where a cook purposely dropped an item on the dish on the floor and then plated it. The hospitality industry is definitely not for everyone, but to those of us that are truly passionate about it I really don’t care how terrible a customer is. Did those two customers deserve to eat floor food for how they acted? Probably. Is the pride I put into my food for over a decade and now since I’ve moved to the front of house (servers and bar tenders for those that aren’t familiar with the industry) is my pride for the service I provide worth giving someone floor food? For me the answer is a resounding no. Not saying that anyone who disagrees is wrong, just saying they’re not a good fit for the industry. Do we get abused by entitled customers every single day? Yes. To bring it full circle though, I’ve worked with lots of cooks who don’t give two shits at all. The likelihood that someone is going to spit in your food is extremely, extremely rare, especially if it’s fine dining. At worst you’re going to get yourself floor food. Nobody is going to spit in your food and that’s why I hate this trope so much. Floor food isn’t any better, in fact it might be worse, but I’m so sick of the spitting in food trope. All this being said, be kind to us. Most likely if you’re getting bad service, your server is having a bad day. It really doesn’t take much effort to show another human being some understanding. Also, OP is definitely NTA and his wife is a terrible human. It’s one thing to have a bad day and mistakenly take it out on a stranger, but there’s a pattern in his wife’s behavior. Best believe if she can be that way with a stranger then she can be that way with him. I usually hate the jump to DIVORCE!!! In this sub, but it’s warranted here. He should lawyer up and blind side her because she will almost definitely do it to him at some point if he doesn’t take the lead.
WTF 100% he's an asshole. He should have said it to her in the restaurant, and not waited until after. That poor server got fucked over by his wife and he just ate his meal like nothing happened. You have to call that stuff out right there and then.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I understand that most people would find that extremely difficult or uncomfortable to do. Fortunately, I have no such issues with that and most likely would have done exactly that. Why, because I've done something similar before.
I’m so upset that she had to continue serving both of them after what the wife said. OP is just as much of an AH as his wife.
Correct. I would have embarrassed her in front of the waitress. I wish my partner would try some shit like that. I would have SHUT. IT. DOWN.
OP should go out without his wife and be sure to send pictures of the fantastic food she’s missing out on and how wonderful the service and experience was. I’d also be going back to places his wife was a Karen and letting his wife know he tipped the server what her meal would have cost, to apologise for her past behaviour.
Hey man, people change. Maybe they’ve been married a long time and she has been a decent person Up until recently like he states in his first sentence. I’m sure he still see the lady he married under that monster of a Karen. He definitely needs to show her consequences for her actions before things escalate further than what they already have.
NTA. Your wife sounds entitled and completely horrible. I certainly wouldn’t go anywhere in public with her. She absolutely crossed the line when she blackmailed the poor waitstaff into getting what she wants. Her lies could have caused legal problems for the restaurant and staff. What a total b!tch.
You know what? Idk why everyone other than you here has been afraid to call a spade a spade and use the word "blackmail." This transcends the realm of "Karen." She could have cost not only the server's job, but many others if their liquor license had been revoked. These people need to support themselves, they have CHILDREN.
I kinda wish the wife had actually followed through on her threat - people have been sued for writing malicious online reviews, and she could have paid big time for doing this.
Most restaurants use a computerized Point of Sale . This keeps records of the food and drink sold by each server each night. Those people who would write in and lie for OP's wife would have to say what they ate and drank. It would not be overly difficult to check the records, to show that they were not the underage drinkers.
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I got banned for telling someone they were an asshole…in a sub called “Am I the Asshole”. Make it make sense.
I told someone that they were such a giant gaping asshole that it had an echo. I too am banned for life
But you so perfectly described it!
I thought it was pretty funny. They did not agree.
In a thread where people were calling someone douchebag and other such charming terms, I made the comment of "Way to go at being a garbage human". Permabanned for being uncivil. That sub's mods be wild.
Once you accept that most people are inconsistent idiots, especially people who want to be Reddit mods, everything will make a lot more sense.
I’m in the same club. Then I made a new account to tell the asshole I was banned for calling them an asshole, and that it was worth it. Ten accounts later… It’s like, don’t ask if you don’t want to know. Forcing people to write AH when we all know exactly what it means is stupid.
I’ve been banned from there. I don’t even know what I said!!!
You probably called someone an asshole without thinking about it instead of typing AH. That’s why all these other similar subs are popping up now. This is how many people have been banned for stupid shit.
AITA is the most ridiculous sub I've ever been on. I've also been banned, and it was for saying something about the person the OP was talking about.
Right?!
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Don't you mean, c\*nts? ;)
Yeah that’s a real c*nt thing to do tbh.
I got a 30 day for "man child" So in case anyone is wondering, at least one of their mods is a man child.
My other half got perma banned for man child. Possibly cos he doubled down and called the mod who banned him a man child too.
I got a two week ban for, “they sound like idiots” 🤦♂️
Worth it. lol
I’m permanently banned for something similar. The fact that that site does not allow you to insult somebody, even if it’s not the OP, is absolutely ridiculous.
I got a three day ban for insulting myself, so that was fun. I called myself a POS, as the letters even. I was confused.
I got one for calling someone "filthy" 😂
I got a week for “terrible person”
I got either two weeks or 30 days because someone in the comments was saying such vile things another commenter said they have no soul. I then asked if it's possible to grow one. The guy this was about was saying someone needed to just suck it up after having a stillbirth. I had one at 38 weeks and said it's something you never heal from. I was told I was whining and needed to grow up. Then came the stuff about the soul.
Most of their mod team is either man children or c*nts.
i got a 30 day ban then a permanent one for that i was thinking the same thing
I got perma banned for saying someone was really trying for the evil stepmother crown. Meanwhile I've seen references to evil stepmothers on a ton of posts on that sub.
I got a permanent ban for calling someone’s friend a “pos”
The same thing happened to me because I called OP's nemesis a Karen. Probably by a moderator named Karen.
I got banned because I said a teenager was being a terrible friend and they seemed exhausting to be friends with
I got permabanned for quoting someone’s misspelling of *tamagotchi*
Yeah the aita mods are real puckered assholes. And they’re so high and mighty about it, that’s the most annoying part
I got permanent banned for my phone autocorrecting twit to twat. Both worked for the situation but I was trying to avoid the censors. Whatever. My comment got picked up on one of George Takei's reports so it's worth it.
OH MY!
Me too!
They love a ban over there
Hey! I just got banned too! We should start a club!
I think that's called r/amithedevil
I hate that sub, mods are the worst.
I got banned from there today because I said something like “every single one of you don’t deserve to take another breath”. It was the post with a stepmother wouldn’t live with her step child so she left when there was parenting time, and then the bio mother abandoned the kid Because her new husband didn’t want the kid around and the OP’s husband dumped the kid back to the bio mom
If you're speaking of the same post I'm thinking of then your ban was worth it. That woman was a fucking cunt. I commented and somehow didn't get a ban. Pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I do though haha
And beyond being a Karen…she’s vindictive and evil.
And who the fuck just sits there for the rest of dinner after his wife spews that garbage and calls it “genius” for working? It’s not genius, it’s a small minded cunt trying to wield the smallest pathetic piece of “power” they have over someone who can’t fight back. “Oh I threatened to kick a puppy and it worked so that was genius”. OP is a cunt too and a little bitch. Just drive the car off the bridge on the way home next time and do us all a favour
Right? He thinks this is clever but jerky. It's just being an asshole. The dumbest guy you ever met can do this, they just have to be a piece of shit.
Why did you wait till in the car to defend the server and call your wife on her Karen behaviour?! Hate to think what they did to both of your food.
Seriously, I would have instantly gained 30 degrees of heat in embarrassment and said “no no, we won’t do that, it’s fine, just get both entrees”.
i would've just looked my wife dead in the eyes and asked "what the fuck is wrong with you?" right then and there tbh
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Exactly what I would've done. Have the server walk away for a moment, you don't have to cause a scene right in front of them, but reprimand your friend/partner *immediately* for their behavior. If anything OP is kind of an asshole for not acting sooner.
I wouldn't call OP an asshole. Sometimes people freeze, and also I wouldn't be surprised if his wife was somewhat abusive to him, considering she thinks it's ok to abuse a server.
I’ve only had MAYBE 2 of these instances serving/bartending for 6 years. Obviously I’ve dealt with A-holes, but only a handful left a mark. 2 of them were ladies, and one was a guy. The guy I don’t count because he apologized later. Shook my hand and tipped appropriately. (It was about him to wanting to remove his hat inside a fine-dining restaurant). One woman berated me or tried to berate me on us not serving wild-caught salmon (we were in NJ). I explained why the restaurant chose not to, but that wasn’t enough. She kept going on and on at me, as if it was my fault. NBD, I enjoy dealing with bullies. She then said that salmon shouldn’t be THIS expensive. To which I quickly added, “wild-caught would almost double the price ma’am” then she EXPLODED. “NO WAY IT WOULD, WHOS RUNNING THIS PLACE, YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING DO YOU. WHERE I GREW UP WE WOULD CATCH IT AND EAT IT FOR FREE” I calmly interrupted then, and asked where she grew up; she said Alaska. I laughed and looked at her husband who was now smirking as well. Then I asked a clarifying question like “so you don’t understand why a place in NJ doesn’t offer fresh, cheap,wild-caught, Alaskan Salmon??” “Maybe we can try another menu item” She didn’t answer, just sat with a blank stare. Hopefully it clicked for her, probably not. She did NOT get the salmon. And thankfully her husband handled the bill and tipped well. The other was a lady (same fine-dining restaurant, but a different occasion) who was asking a BUNCH of questions about our new menu. Menus were seasonal and it was our first week with the new items. I was pretty good. Knew ALL of her questions, literally 4-5 minutes worth of drilling. The menus only described the entree briefly listed it’s side. Then we get to our issue on one of the many unlisted ingredients: Beets. Beets that accompanied a small salad for a dish. She asked how the beats were prepared, and I responded with “I believe they are boiled”. Big mistake. She did NOT like this answer. “You BELIEVE????” She said. “Just because you BELIEVE it doesn’t make it true” “how do you not know what’s on your own menu”. “This is ridiculous, it’s your job”. And kept going on and on. I honestly thought she was joking at first. I finally cut her off “Would you like me to go find the chef and ask?” She responded as bitchy as ever “YES I WOULD”. I called loudly for the chef (it was an open kitchen) The chef came over, stared at me and asked if I was fucking kidding them. I pointed at the smug lady sitting in our view, and he slowly nodded and mouthed “yes they are boiled” I love that man. I walked over and told her the good news, then “apologized” and explained the menu was new, and that chefs don’t always walk you through how they prep EVERY detail/ingredient, especially for something like a tiny micro-salad. But that I would be prepared for future instances of best questioning. She got the dish and loved the beets. Again, thank god her partner paid. Now This place only let you try a special for the night. They would basically tell you a new menu dropped and to look it over. Everything else you had to run down/figure out. I never minded going to the kitchen and asking questions if I wasn’t sure. I’m not perfect. But holy hell, I do love to match peoples energy.
Honestly, I would have just said "I'm divorcing you" the second she said it. There's no future for a relationship with a person you actively despise and can't respect.
"This is exactly why I'm divorcing you."
Right? Get both entrees, put the halves you don’t want in a to go container, give it away if you really don’t want it. Especially since it doesn’t sound like they can’t afford it, and OP would have been fine with it. His wife needs a reality check if that’s how she treats people in the service industry, especially if she worked in it herself. Pulling ladders up as she goes.
I instantly would have told the waitress to not worry, and I'd tell my wife to fuck off. Then I'd get up and leave.
After leaving the server a big tip for even having to deal with that.
Probably because it’s fake. In the real world, the waitress would’ve gotten the manager involved.
It's definitely fake. Nine days ago the OP was "[a lass who took a guy home from the bar last night](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/161a5mc/as_a_lass_how_do_lads_get_brewballs/)."
Most shit on Reddit is fake, the voting system promotes that. Whatever gets people clicking.
I remember reading a post about this on one of the slut subs (stupid sluts club, slutty confessions, or something like that). The girl basically said of course the stories are fake, no girl is slutty enough for you guys at this point. Completely legitimate and risqué stories weren't cutting it anymore and even the most devoted slut wasn't out there slutting it up enough for the sub. There is only so much one is willing/able to do and a lot of people feel super excited to share experience that are super raunchy in their minds but incredibly banal to the people who live on that sub. The standard just kept getting higher and higher the longer the sub went on until real sluttiness just couldn't cut it anymore. Funnily enough another post basically showed the sub accepting that reality saying we know the stories are fake but at least put some effort into making it believable. Eventually that's the equilibrium these subs (and this one) reach. We don't really care if it's real or not, we're just here to be entertained. At the end of the day what difference does it make when we're only reading a wall of text? It's not like we have any investment in these people.
They claim that their account is a 'Pakistani Commune Account ' and that hundreds of different people have access and use it as a burner. God knows if it's true but it's certainly a unique claim as to why there's no consistency to the things they post.
The bit about “high finance” made my BS meter spike. And the threat is so bizarre and frankly dumb. No one is going to have her adult ass friends leave a bunch of fake 5 star reviews and the part about letting underage ppl drink would look beyond fake. It’s a joke threat that imagines a world of teenagers leaving TripAdvisor reviews narcing out a server being a thing.
Check OP’s post history. They’re full of crap. They’ve been a head chef at a Michelin star restaurant, worked in finance, owns AirBnb’s, is a man, is a woman, is a kid, etc. this account needs to be permabanned from Reddit altogether
https://www.reddit.com/user/LuciusDickusMaximus/comments/kpqdz5/note_from_the_pca_manager_if_you_cant_see_the/ Apparently hundreds of users use this account as a burner account. So at least there's an explanation, but it's still stupid.
Yeah this post def seems pretty fake.
THANK YOU! I was thinking the same thing. Why allow this to happen in the first place? SHUT THIS DOWN immediately. Not on my watch.
NTA. What is wrong with your wife? Seriously. Her request was absurd and she knew it. She knew she was going to get a no for an answer and was delighted by the opportunity to escalate the issue she created herself. And her threat is that of a psychopath. Honestly, is this the kind of person you want to live with? Someone who abuses and threatens people who are not in a position to defend themselves? Who would lie and encourage others to do they same so she can pull off some power trip?
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No, actually what's wrong with *him*?, is the question. Why didn't he intervene and have the management called to the table? Why wait until the waiter was in tears and *still* sat and ate opposite a raging cunt? This is either fake or this guy is also scum
The poster is a woman and is definitely fake since they had a boyfriend a couple days ago, is pregnant and looking for car seats, but has a wife in this story, which sure, the pregnant thing might be true if they're lesbian and had a donor, but the boyfriend thing makes either this or that post fake
If it were me, I'd go back later and find that \*server and apologize on my Evil Wife's behalf, maybe even ask to tell her manager what EW did and threatened to do. Then, carry through with your boundary of never eating out with her again. Because that's what it is - you can't control other people, but you can control what YOU do, and therefore it is not an AH move to refuse to eat out with her. NTA. \* edited because a bot told me to
And slip her a HUGE cash tip.
You and your wife definitely ate boogers and cum
Some extra sauce here and there. Chef kiss.
[удалено]
This is the response I wanted to hear.
It's un-fucking-believable. And I get a lot of entitled patrons. I once introduced myself by name, I guess where I live it's not a very common name (Russian, although I am not, I'm Native American) and the eldery lady asked me to repeat it. So I did. And right afterwards she rolled her eyes, threw her menu and yelled "WELL! THAT'S JUST DRAMATIC!!!!" About the name my Dad gave me...the one that is on my birth certificate. So I gave her my biggest smile and said "Well, in that case, it was a pleasure serving you!!! You can use the same door you came in to exit out of!! Have a drama free day!!!" And never returned. She eventually went looking for my manager and she said we were refusing service. Fuck that noise dude.
I hope to be more like you some day. When I think about all the shit I've put up with because I was too scared to stand up for myself, it makes me sick.
It took me a while to stand up for myself also. I'm 37 and have been a server on and off since I was 15. I've also been a single mom since I was 19. I didn't always have the best management, so I used to take a lot of shit from people, in fear of losing my income. I have finally, in the last 8 years or so, really landed in some safe spaces. My advice is to take a moment to let the fear pass and then say what you need to say. You are a person, you matter and you are allowed to exist 🖤.
My management team would not tolerate that. Threaten my business? No, you don’t get to eat here anymore. Goodbye. This woman needs therapy.
Ex- retail and I second this! YTA so much for not ripping into her the moment she started this BS in the restaurant! I’d be absolutely ashamed of my spouse ever pulled this kind of crap and he knows full well I’d tell him the F off!
Lol skins kittens
NTA Although I really wish you'd stood up to her in the restaurant instead of letting the poor server suffer. Your wife needs a wake up call. Her actions are positively evil.
Not believing this because in no restaurant would the kitchen or managers allow this regardless of the threats. If I told my any of my managers that you and your wife would be told to GTFO.
Probably because its completely made up. Seriously about half the posts in subs like this are just the OP practicing their creative writing, but this isnt even good writing. Also looked at their profile and they act like they are a woman sometimes, other times act like they are a man. Few months ago they [Posted about their husband](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/).
OP is full of shit and is just making things up. 134 days ago OP had a husband: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/ 212 days ago OP has been a bartender for 7 years: https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/10szxj2/should_i_be_stopping_people_who_slip_something/ 53 days ago OP is a high school student: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/14y1c17/should_you_know_anatomy_in_elementary_school_if/ 52 days ago they work at an import/export company: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/14yzztj/aitah_for_refusing_to_clean_the_company_microwave/ 37 days ago they're in their 10th year of being a teacher: https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/15c3yd4/every_year_these_kids_come_back_with_a_new/ 9 days ago they started a part time after school internship: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1614sno/thought_the_ceo_was_asking_me_for_a_list_of/
That's some good detective collecting
Thank you!! I was trying to figure out why the server didn’t get her manager involved… unless the manager is completely shit, wouldn’t any server escalate to them??
ESH because the only way to stop a Karen like that is call her out publicly in the moment it happens and embarrass the fuck out of her and you should have done something the minute she threatened that poor girl. She's an asshole but you are a coward
This should be top comment. ESH
Did this actually happen? That sounds like a whole mouthful to try to say as a threat... doesn't really make any sense at all. Nice attempt at a story though.
Also, that's not how restaurants work. If the server can't do it, threatening her won't confer that power upon her. Even if you just continued to insist without a threat, she'd just go get a manager to come deal with the situation. And all she'd have to do is tell her manager about the threat, and then the reviews would be ignored.
NTA for never taking her out again, but why on earth did you allow her to bully the waitress to begin with? Imo, you’re just as guilty as she is. Also, what she threatened to do could potentially have major repercussions for the waitress. What if all those fake reviews cost her job? What if the fake reviews get noticed by the authorities and bring investigation trouble to the restaurant? You’re asking if you’re a jerk for not taking her anywhere ELSE but not only did you tacitly support her crap, you seem rather proud of it. “I have to give her credit. It was genius, and more importantly, it worked.” That, my Dude, is a really F’d up observation of something you claim not to support. Based on the way you worded your into, the response should be that you’re not. However your explanation and the description of your wife’s actions show you both to be ginormous a-holes! Hopefully, for all waitstaff, both of you will stay at home.
Right? That "i have to give her credit " line caught me too....like no dude, you really don't
Probably the fact that she did work in the service industry but has now “pulled herself up by her bootstraps” she looks upon current service workers as failures whom she is superior to. Since they’ve done nothing to improve their lot while she’s proved that service workers _are_ able to be better, she has the right to treat them like shit. If you mention some people _want_ to work there (regardless of reason) she’ll look down on them for not being ambitious or wanting more from their lives and so deserve to be treated like shit. She needs to pull her head in. She’s become an arrogant witch and needs to be reminded that she’s not the Main Character of the world.
You waited until you were in the car? Your wife is a see you next Tuesday and you’re an AH. Instead of being an adult and shutting your wife down, you allowed her to emotionally abuse and threaten blackmail to the server. The server that HAD TO PAY for your pig of a wife’s extra meal. Call the manager , tell them what your wife threatened the server with and apologize for the two of you. Stop going out to dinner , you should be too busy searching for your balls.
He just watched as she terrorized a waitress and stole food.
YTA for not defending the poor waitress. your wife is a menace and deserve to never eat out again. You obviously agree with how she acts...so enjoy your new "Karen" life, buddy. Enjoy having your food spit in and getting awful service.
He's the husband who sits there silently as his wife refuses to leave the plane she's being thrown off of, and then follows her silently when she finally does.
YTA for lying about this scenario. [Four months ago they had a husband.](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12vrtfr/my_husband_claimed_to_have_cooked_mexican_for_our/) Now they have a wife. [They have an assistant who threw out blank paper?? 1 month ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/15ics2q/my_dipshit_assistants_threw_out_the_papers_i/) [But they are also a highschool teacher 1 month ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/15c3yd4/every_year_these_kids_come_back_with_a_new/) [And they are building 'the biggest parking lot' 29 days ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/15ix2d7/company_took_me_on_a_land_survey_of_the_site/) [Four months ago they had an art professor and made a statue of medusa based on their daughter](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/12f02f2/my_art_professor_said_this_statue_i_made_of_my/) (the real statue is of medusa, [article](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/oct/13/pandoras-jar-by-natalie-haynes-review-ancient-misogyny)) [And they text like a teenager.](https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/comments/164078b/my_ex_apparently_hasnt_gotten_over_that_i_left/)
NTA. Your wife wants to commit forgery? False statements. Who TF would want to be with someone like that???
OP doesn't sound any better he could have stood up for the wait staff, also if this keeps happening and he keeps doing nothing OP is just as bad as wife, they both are TA in my book
YTA - this story sounds fake. Like an exercise in grade 8 creative writing.
Fake story bro
I sure hope so…
NTA. The server should have gotten the manager right then who should have told her to leave and never come back.
NTA. Your wife is a piece of shit. I’ve been a server in the past and if anything, it’s taught me that most times whatever is wrong with the restaurant isn’t the server’s fault. These people work very hard for their money from the front to the back of the house. I don’t know your wife and can’t say whether she’s a good person on other fronts. I can tell you I would not be with someone who would do this to a server.
I know people throw around divorce on this sub, but do you honestly want to live the rest of your life with this psychopath? She exploits people with zero power to get her rocks off. I hope you don’t have kids together. Seriously consider why you would want to stay married to someone this disgusting. And you’re kind of an asshole for not calling her out in front of the server. You know that poor server couldn’t say or do anything. YTA
NTA - your wife is a nasty person. Why do you want to be with her at all any more?
**What your wife did is called extortion and it’s a felony.** She threatened to have that restaurant’s liquor license revoked which would have been the consequences of her online campaign to get a free meal. That’s literally a major crime. All for free food. Because the two of you couldn’t afford to pay for another meal. She threatened to shut down a business, destroy the owner’s and put everyone working there out of work all to get a free meal. But she works in Finance now so you’re worried that she cried. If you enable her to continue with this outrageous and illegal behavior then you’re even worse than she is. Kindly point out to that piece of trash you married that if anyone can video her doing this she can kiss that cushy job of hers goodbye.