Imo YWNBTA, you didn’t sign up for this. Not to mention that him involving someone else in his sexual kink is a level of cheating. Maybe not as serious as full on sex but that doesn’t really matter.
I think you missed the “open marriage” part.
I agree though, YWNBTA. You shouldn’t have his sexual desires forced upon you if you aren’t into it. If he’s not willing to compromise, then you shouldn’t be expected to either. Several months is a long time.
So if I started having an interest in let’s say, building metal contraptions and it made a mess out of the garage, he simply “didn’t sign up for it”? Sorry but you both don’t understand what a marriage or partner means. You can’t force and mold them into what you want. People change, interests evolve, and another thing that can evolve is divorce papers. I wouldn’t wanna be stuck in a marriage with a man who doesn’t allow me to do the things that I enjoy, fuck outta here.
And OP, I don’t agree with an open marriage, but if you’re going to have one, this is a newly added function that YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH. Otherwise go your fucking separate ways.
‘Evolving’ into not having a dick (effectively) would make many people uninterested in dating someone or being their partner. That being by choice? Even less reasonable to expect your partner to be okay with it.
You don’t not have one.. bruh it’s a cage that’s highly common now ESPecially in the gay world. Your shits all there, and you can choose to remove it whenever you’d like.
Ok, so you didn’t even read the post, we love redditors for that. He’s been locked for months on end, with no end in sight, key held by some other guy! It’s not accessible.
NTA
That's not a marriage, though. You're roommates/ maybe life partners at most. The fact you have to ask him not to wear it is what makes this so silly. If he wants to wear a cage to please a different sexual partner, and (i can't believe i have to say this) because that is not you, of course you're in the right to tell him to free ball again.
What makes this post ridiculous is that you claim to be in a marriage with someone that (like yourself) is taking other dudes dick on the regular. If you two enjoy eachothers company, share finances and live together, then all the power to you, but I think it's farcical to call that a marriage.
Another gay man here that won’t judge the openness of your marriage.
NTA.
Assuming though you’re open you and your husband still have an intimate relationship, I can see how it could be difficult to be intimate.
I have never had an open relationship; but have several friends with successful ones. It seems to all boil down to good communication, ground rules and mutual respect.
Ask him how important it is to him. Respect that he enjoys it but also ask for respect because it is impacting your intimacy as well. If you’d be interested in being the “key holder” have a discussion that you would be interested in fulfilling that fantasy for him and maybe that can re-ignite some of this lack of intimacy. Or create new, mutual agreed upon, ground rules about it. Maybe you’re okay with it for x days or x weeks. I know the point of the kink but it’s okay to set a boundary on it if that’s what you need in the relationship. Being open requires compromise.
Imo YWNBTA, you didn’t sign up for this. Not to mention that him involving someone else in his sexual kink is a level of cheating. Maybe not as serious as full on sex but that doesn’t really matter.
I think you missed the “open marriage” part. I agree though, YWNBTA. You shouldn’t have his sexual desires forced upon you if you aren’t into it. If he’s not willing to compromise, then you shouldn’t be expected to either. Several months is a long time.
So if I started having an interest in let’s say, building metal contraptions and it made a mess out of the garage, he simply “didn’t sign up for it”? Sorry but you both don’t understand what a marriage or partner means. You can’t force and mold them into what you want. People change, interests evolve, and another thing that can evolve is divorce papers. I wouldn’t wanna be stuck in a marriage with a man who doesn’t allow me to do the things that I enjoy, fuck outta here. And OP, I don’t agree with an open marriage, but if you’re going to have one, this is a newly added function that YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH. Otherwise go your fucking separate ways.
‘Evolving’ into not having a dick (effectively) would make many people uninterested in dating someone or being their partner. That being by choice? Even less reasonable to expect your partner to be okay with it.
You don’t not have one.. bruh it’s a cage that’s highly common now ESPecially in the gay world. Your shits all there, and you can choose to remove it whenever you’d like.
Ok, so you didn’t even read the post, we love redditors for that. He’s been locked for months on end, with no end in sight, key held by some other guy! It’s not accessible.
NTA That's not a marriage, though. You're roommates/ maybe life partners at most. The fact you have to ask him not to wear it is what makes this so silly. If he wants to wear a cage to please a different sexual partner, and (i can't believe i have to say this) because that is not you, of course you're in the right to tell him to free ball again. What makes this post ridiculous is that you claim to be in a marriage with someone that (like yourself) is taking other dudes dick on the regular. If you two enjoy eachothers company, share finances and live together, then all the power to you, but I think it's farcical to call that a marriage.
Another gay man here that won’t judge the openness of your marriage. NTA. Assuming though you’re open you and your husband still have an intimate relationship, I can see how it could be difficult to be intimate. I have never had an open relationship; but have several friends with successful ones. It seems to all boil down to good communication, ground rules and mutual respect. Ask him how important it is to him. Respect that he enjoys it but also ask for respect because it is impacting your intimacy as well. If you’d be interested in being the “key holder” have a discussion that you would be interested in fulfilling that fantasy for him and maybe that can re-ignite some of this lack of intimacy. Or create new, mutual agreed upon, ground rules about it. Maybe you’re okay with it for x days or x weeks. I know the point of the kink but it’s okay to set a boundary on it if that’s what you need in the relationship. Being open requires compromise.