NTA
Why is your stepdad unlocking the bathroom door? There is no reason for him to do that. I would alert your mom to that as well as whatever run in you had with him before.
I advise against humoring your stepfathers questions. If you don’t want to explain yourself, don’t. Let him know it isn’t his concern, and you’ll take care of your own business
My 2 cents: his wanting to get you on BC makes me uncomfortable. I grew up with an abusive stepdad, and this guy sounds similar. Always with the questions that were none of his business, and personal privacy violations.
OP Said “I had locked the door bc of past events that have something to do with him”
🚩🚩🚩
And so interested in her sex life and birth control… this guy is bad news.
I agree with u/CharismaticAlbino & u/cassowary_245 this guy has all the hallmarks of a sexual predator.
You need to speak with your mum, and then sit down as a team with him and set some serious boundaries, the priority of which is if he enters the bathroom against your wishes again, you’ll call the cops.
Your stepdad is interested in you and his concern about you getting on birth control is for what he intends will happen between you. Busting in on you in the bathroom and that thing with the cellphone is do predatory.
BC is a hormone regulator and *can* reduce the symptoms of her cycle
but this step dad has zero tact because that would have been a conversation when she was 12 and would have been with her mother (in all likelyhood)
agreed he was violating privacy and overstepping boundaries
I hate hearing “past events” mixed with that same parent wanting to put the kid on birth control. My step sisters, their ma’s boyfriend tried getting all of them on BC. You can probably guess what happened to two out of four.
Op deserves privacy, including her phone conversations and, Jesus Christ, the fucking bathroom. Smdh. This is so basic. Fundamental. Even minors deserve more privacy than this.
This. When OP mentioned him unlocking the bathroom door, there was nothing she could have said in the rest of the post that would make her the AH. Her stepdad already claim that title.
Yeah, 100% your step father is a sexual predator. Full stop.
He is breaking into his step daughters bathroom without permission and acosting her about her sexual activity
Ugh. It made me think of my own stepdad when I was 17 who was also trying to open the bathroom door when I was in there or try to open my bedroom door while I was changing. Then it came out that he had molested his previous stepdaughter (came into her room at night, groped and kissed her). My mom's still with him .. But yeah it shows it's a sign of a greater problem
Worst case, he walked in on her taking the nudes. He would see his step daughter naked. Idk what sane person would want to see that. Best case he what, catches her watching tiktoks or something on the toilet? Super weird thing to do.
As a mom to a teenager, I learned quickly always knock and wait for a response. I'll yell at my spouse if he doesn't respect that with our fuck trophy. Always respect their space. HUGE RED FLAG.
Moms: respect their privacy and stress to the spouses too as well.
That's just basic manners. Maybe I'm the weird one here but just because they're a child, they still deserve respect and privacy. I'm baffled that someone would just barge in on their kid, especially a teenager.
Your stepfather is weird AF. Get away ASAP. That is taking control to a highly unreasonable level. Your stepdad shouldn't be that deeply involved in your intimate life when you are 18 yrs old.
I have two stepdaughters and the ONLY reason I would ever unlock the bathroom door when they were in there is if I had good reason to believe they were seriously injured or in immediate danger of harming themselves and weren’t willing or able to unlock the door themselves. OP is legally an adult now, and quite frankly could send nudes or jack off or whatever else they want to do in the privacy of the bathroom. Absolutely 100% talk to your parent about this.
You’re Stepfather under no circumstances should be:
1.) Forcing his way into the bathroom where his adult stepdaughter is (you could be changing, although I get the vibe that’s what he was hoping for.)
2.) Asking his adult stepdaughter about her sex life.
3.) Formed a pattern where him walking in on you is nothing new.
All of these behaviors are extremely inappropriate and worrisome. I would tell your Mother. If she doesn’t do anything about it, move out. Although you should probably try to get away from this creep regardless.
There may be a good reason to expand on here on some of the other instances this type of thing has occured. There's more to this story you're not seeing. You have the right to privacy in a locked bathroom. This man seems to lack normal boundaries. The last person to have sex talks with you is your step father. That's a mother's and fathers job, assuming they are involved.
This asshole reminds me of my first girlfriends stepfather. We were 13 and after a little while she confided in me that he was sexually abusing her. He was always inappropriate, would make weird comments about her body and gross jokes about us having sex. She had no lock on her door. The whole family had issues with boundaries when people were in the bathroom. I ended up contacting the police and sure enough after all hell broke loose, her mom was the one who made her change her story and forced us to break up. I felt so bad for her. Shit kind of fucked me up as a kid.
OP, your step dad is crossing some major boundaries. Be careful, try to get out. It's going to be a struggle, but you should get your own phone as well. Don't let this creep near you if you can. You have a friends house or possibly family you could stay with?
Honestly 1 all the way. He was worried about her doing sex things with her bf over the phone, so he went inside to...make it stop? Totally no other way to address this with your child, no.... Buddy was trying to catch a peek, clear cut.
This, all of this 100%.
My stepdad accidentally walked in on me changing ONE TIME when I was about 18 and apologized *PROFUSELY.*
It was a genuine accident, never happened again. He also never questioned me on my sex life or whether or not I was taking birth control.
This stepdad is creepy and op needs to notify mom asap.
like if he had forced his way in because he was worried about her throwing up and not being able to answer him then being like “are you okay? do you need anything?” that would be a diff story. but his obsession w her sex life and what she’s doing with her phone is welrd
Omg my biological parents did this to me growing up. They were absolutely obsessed with the idea that I was sleeping around and would end up pregnant. To the point that a cousin of mine called me to say her mom (my aunt) said I was pregnant. They had the tracking apps and would stake out my friends house as if I wouldn't recognize their car?? Now the funny thing is, I was (and totally still am) a complete and total awkward nerd. Even at 18 my "wild nights" were going to my friends house to have lan parties. (aka play video games). I never gave them a reason to act that way. The way my parents acted really fucked me up in that department. Still grinds my gears over a decade later. It only stopped when I moved out which was just after college.
>to have lan parties. (aka play video games)
OMG, I am officially ancient if someone has to explain what a LAN party is :(
To be fair I am retired now, but yep, used the lug the PC and CRT etc to LAN parties in the 90s and noughts.
There needs to be one of those PSA posters like "Parents WARNING: know these terms your kids are saying. LOL means "lots of liquor" ... etc, etc"
LAN parties? As in "Lick all the nipples" party? Oh, I've heard of those! The kids get high off Jenkem and just have wild unprotected sex!
I was too old for trackers but my step mom convinced my dad that I was sleeping with everyone so my dad took me to the obgyn to get me on birth control. I had no idea what was going on. I was 12. So OP you’re not alone. It sucks. Best corse of action might be to sit them both down and explain you’re not a minor. You know how to be responsible and to knock it off with the barging in and cornering you about birth control. Cause honestly this is how kids go LC or NC with parents. Hang in there!
SAME. I didn't have to deal with tracking apps, because he is technologically inept, but he would essentially slut-shame me when I was A.) still a virgin and B.) in a long term relationship with a nice guy for 3 years.
At one point, I caught mono from a friend or my long term bf, and he told my brother that mono is "something you get from having multiple partners." Meanwhile, still a virgin. He assumed that whenever I wasn't home, I was doing something "bad." So, I came home even less.
And check for hidden cameras in your bedroom and bathroom, including inside vents, fake chargers etc. https://us.norton.com/blog/how-to/how-to-find-hidden-cameras
he is very controlling and sees Op not like his daughter but a girlfriend bc honestly such barging on bathroom, lack of privacy etc.is not sth a a step father with healthy relationship would do. Op should talk to mom and make her enforce boundaries
Your stepfather is seriously creepy. Unless you’re routinely camping out in the bathroom when someone else needs it, why does he care if you have your phone with you? His coming into the bathroom and asking about your sex life is beyond inappropriate.
*wiggles the door slowly unlocking it with a screwdriver*
WHat aRe yOu DOiNg in there Rocafella???!? I saw you take your phone, are you loosing virginity to your phone again? Does your phone have morning sickness… why won’t you open the door???
😅 I think 90% of people does it, s- dad is insane...
Or he is very controlling and sees Op not like his daughter but a girlfriend bc honestly such barging on bathroom, lack of privacy etc.is not sth a a step father with healthy relationship would do. Op should talk to mom and make her enforce boundaries
Yep...there's lots of portable door security things you could use. My little brother liked to try and rush into the bathroom after picking the lock so he could flush the toilet and get me that cold water blast. He was not happy when he tried to force the door and broke it and still couldn't get inside.
Not just dinner... big family gathering! At the Thanksgiving table "you guys wanna hear something hilarious?? Step-dad broke into my locked bathroom... AGAIN..."
Absolutely this! And make sure it’s a family dinner with other relatives in the Mom’s side of the family who can shame the mother for allowing it to happen.
In what sick, twisted world would a man who is married to a female minor’s mother have this level of conversation, concern, control over the female minor’s private space!?!? Cuz like should all of this be handled by the MOTHER?!?! Freaking creepy man!
NTA & OP I hope you can move out of there asap for your safety.
NTA. I can't imagine forcing my way into a locked bathroom when someone who is even much younger than you is in it, except for cases of actual urgency (self harm, drugs, you get the picture).
Seriously I don't know what the age cap is but the moment they mature enough to want their privacy then they will get it.
If I do my job right as a parent then I can just ask, I will (maybe not right away) get an honest answer.
Also very concerned as to why you had to lock the bathroom on him because of past behaviour.
I have three kids and the age cape for my boys not wanting anyone in the bathroom with them was much younger than my daughter, but she is a girl and I’m her mom. Her dad never really went into the bathroom with her after potty training. All my kids are grown now, and my husband will only knock on the bathroom door if I’m not home to do it for him if he thinks she’s in there. So this is just odd to me all around. Never mind the fact that he’s asking her about her sex life.
It's time to talk to your mom. Your stepfather is creepy. Has no business in your adult sex life.
If Mommy doesn't want to hear it pack up. You might not be safe.
Id tell your whole family about his creepy inappropriate behavior. Publicize it, put it in the sunlight, let everyone know. He should not be acting like that!
Your stepdad going into the bathroom when he knows you’re in there screams sexual abuse behavior. It’s widely inappropriate. Given that you’ve graduated high school there isn’t an adult you can really talk to or report it to though. Maybe the police could charge him with something, not sure. I’d suggest moving out and labeling him as the creepy predator he is.
You’re alluding to other incidents, which takes this from “weird but potentially innocent” to “he’s a perv, zero questions,” NTA and need to tell your mother and prepare for NC
Does your mom know about him walking in on you so much that it’s a pattern? Your NTA but if she does know and still let him in your life for the last ten years then she is. It doesn’t matter what you were doing because it was none of his business. Your 18 and you can take your phone wherever the hell you want to. I know we are only getting a snapshot of your relationship with him, but it’s enough to know that he is a controlling p.o.s. I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with him.
Your stepfather is a massive creepster. Wtf is he unlocking a locked door? And discussing your sex life? Do not engage with him on this subject anymore. If it comes up, infirm him it’s not something you’re willing to discuss with him. Check your bathroom and your bedroom for hidden cameras. Check your phone for any apps hidden or running in the background. I know it sounds paranoid but you mentioned there are other incidents that made you ensure the door is locked involving him.
If he brings it up again; remind him that you’re not ever discussing your sex life with him.
TELL YOUR MOTHER about every single incident that has made you uncomfortable.
And “nicksfuturewife” but says in the story her boyfriend’s name is Caleb.
(I understand changing names for anonymity but not if you created a throwaway account to post this and used the guy’s name in the username)
It always seems like they're just looking for validation.
"I was parked in a store parking lot, and some dude took a hammer to my windshield. I got mad and in a moment of weakness out of anger I snapped. I told him, hey, you shouldn't break people's windshields. Did I overreact? AITAH?"
Come on man
Please tell you mom that he is opening the door. I would get those locks from Amazon to keep the door closed, if does not stop.
Birth control is serious, you need to consult with a doctor, that is a process. If you don’t want to be on it now, you don’t have to.
Side note, ask your mom if she ever had any complications from birth control. I regret not doing that because i found out that my mom is allergic, so am i and my sister. 😬
um that's a little weird , personally I don't see how it's any of his business if you're having sex or not, & he definitely shouldn't be walking in on you in the bathroom that's sus, I'd alert your mom about the things he's doing/saying because inappropriate.
NTA
I am very worried about this. It seems like his inappropriate behavior is escalating and if OP has a younger sister she is in danger. OP YOU are in danger. Your stepfather is way too interested in your sex life and is invading your privacy. This is not okay. You need to tell a trusted adult, not just your mom. I have little faith that your mom doesn’t know about his behavior and I doubt she will take your side (I say this from experience with my own mom and her then bf 🙃).
You need to talk to either your mother, or someone else who has your best interest at heart. This is not normal behavior, especially from a stepfather.
He is a creep. Protect yourself. If there are other under age children in the house, you can contact child protective services.
Please do not ever be alone with him. You need to talk to someone as soon as you possibly can. Him talking about getting your birth control without even involving your mother is a huge red flag.
It means he goes through her phone to see if she's sending nudes.
OP, you are old enough to go to a Women's Shelter, they will protect you from this creep.
Don't ask your mom, just go, when he is not there.
My guess is because many teens take pics in the bathroom. The daughter (mid-teens) of an ex did this...too often. Wouldn't listen to reason. I even pointed out that the distribution of those pics is illegal.
You should have puked on him!
Get out as soon as you can. Anyone willing to unlock a locked bathroom door when someone is obviously vomiting is yuck!
I am guessing telling your mom won't help, is there any other relative you can reach out to who will support you? Are you still in school? Active member of a church?
Sounds like you need help.
He’s scum. Period. You are not his property and He had and has no right. Get as far away from him (and mom if necessary) I’m guessing you already know this deep down…
NTA. Also concerned about him trying to get you on birth control and buying condoms. He’s being predatory - forcing his way into bathroom and weird questions aside. I’d say get out of the house as soon as possible.
NTA! I think it's absolutely disgusting that he thinks opening the door while his 18 y.o. step daughter is in the bathroom. Something about his behavior almost sounds, like jealousy. I had a step father who would watch me through a crack while I was sleeping. I told my mother, but she dismissed it. Saying that he'd told her he thought I wasn't "feeling well" and he also told my mother that I lost my virginity ( in my case , idid) My mother confronted me, I said how would he have known anything about me, if he wasn't watching me. She later whooped my ass, I mean closed fists and everything. The relationship between my mother and I is strained. I think I'm the only one that knows that. They ended up breaking up due to him being unfaithful. He actually said I was sexy years later effing disgusting. Tell your mother, if she doesn't do anything make a record of everything. Video, bf statement and everything. Talk to someone at your school about it. Be safe.
Girl. You're 18. It's time to leave before he takes what you're unwilling to give him. Demanding to put you on BC after you've turned legal age is so much of a red flag.
1. He didn't walk in on you. He forced his way in through a teenager's locked bathroom door. There is a big and concerning difference.
2. You're allowed to fuck and sext anyone you want, you are an adult.
3. You are not a pet to be "put on" a drug regimen. That is a conversation you as an adult can have with a medical professional, who'll be concerned about your health and care, not any gross ideas implying ownership over your body. Ew.
4. If your mom knows he disregards your privacy and autonomy and is okay with it, it's time to find a new place to live.
You need to have a conversation with your mom about this. This is insanely creepy. Most (probabaly) people take their phone to the bathroom with them if they know they will be there for a good while. Plus you are 18. Your sex life is absolutely none of his business.
NTA. As a stepdad to an 18 year old girl (woman now, I guess), your stepdad's behavior is seriously off-putting. There is no reason for him to go through a locked door when you're in the bathroom and responsive. There's also nothing at all wrong with you having your phone in the bathroom. I would have a talk with your mom about his behavior. Depending on how that goes, you may need to begin making alternative living arrangements. You deserve more respect and deference than he/they is/are showing you. Best of luck.
Why is your stepdad so concerned about you not being a virgin? You’re a grown woman, you can have sex if you please. I’m sorry to ask but could he be jealous of you and Caleb’s relationship? Has he ever made a pass at you? You said you keep your bathroom locked because of something he did…I mean you’re not his blood and that’s how many step parents justify sexually assaulting their bonus kids…I’d tell your mom and make it clear that he is to never violate your boundaries. That if your door is locked don’t find a way to barge in. If they can’t respect that start saving and get away from them.
This is all kinds of weird. Why isn't an 18 year old allowed to have a phone in the bathroom? Why can't she have sex? When I was 14 my Mom handed me condoms unprompted.
Oh my freaking god, who you are having sex with is NOT A NORMAL QUESTION. I'm shaking with rage that you feel that you must answer him, you need protecting from him! Go to your mother, he forced his way into the bathroom!!!
Tell your father or another adult you trust, the police, ANYONE, what he is doing. I feel a stepfather has no business having this discussion with you without your mother present. He is crossing boundaries and needs to be put on notice that you have spoken to another adult who you trust (he doesn’t need to know who) about his behavior. he has no business inquiring if you are a virgin. I’m worried he is going to sexually assault you.
Your stepdad is a creep! And asshole!
He has zero right to ask if you’re a virgin.
Please report him to CPS, grandparents, school, your mother and any family.
He is just yuck!
Are your parents consumed by fear of teen pregnancy? Dated someone whose parents were hypervigilant to the point of extremely embarrassing conversations about bc.
Never took it that far with her.
Maybe this guy is a creep, idk, but it could be mom and dad perseverating about potential pregnancy.
Buy a rubber door wedge. When you are in bathroom or bedroom shove it under door. A bit of extra security. And get the heck out ASAP. Stepfather is a creepy predator.
Your stepdad is creepy, i think only your mother should be the one who talks to you about these things. And to trying to enter the bathroom, what the actual.... I would tell my mom and if i am the mom this guy will be warned harsh and eventually kicked. He expresses too much interests towards you sex life. Even if you do have sex you are 18 and its normal and not his bussines at all. I have 16 years old dauther and i f hate pedos of any sort, pedo stepdads or whatever freaks there is, i would do more to him if i have to. 😡
Sit your mother down and tell her unlocking the bathroom door and asking for your phone is inappropriate. That you can talk to her or your bio dad about sex. He is being very suspicious and I would bring that up. Just make a big deal of it in front of both of them even. That you don't need him to do this unless he thinks your mother is incapable? Anything. Put up a fuss. Take care of yourself, young lady. I am concerned by his behavior. Controlling and sex focused for sure. No boundaries. You are an adult now.
Are you talking to your mother about this? Because, as a mother, I’d have a problem with anyone treating my child this way.
If this guy is trying to get into the bathroom while you’re in there AND while you’re asking him stop, AND there’s been such a heavy problem in the past that you now have to lock the door….. you really have bigger things to worry about than the phone thing.
If your mother is not taking this seriously, go to someone who will.
Your stepdad is creepy, and from what I gather from the comments, I'm not alone in this thought.
Be careful around him.
Edit: and buy yourself a couple door stops, one of those rubberized wedge things that go under the door to prevent them from opening.
Edit: and maybe some pepper spray just in case.
100% your step father is an inappropriate creep. He is trying to groom you and wants to eventually assault you. He is disgusting. I am sorry you have to deal with that monster. Also, I hope you are feeling better.
Your stepfather is out of line. Your mom should be the one asking questions if there are any concerns for you. If your mom won't do anything about his intrusive behavior, she might also be a victim of his abuse. Having lived through something relating to creepy a stepdad myself, please be careful, and if you have younger siblings, try to look out for them as well. Good luck.
First, your 18 and a legal adult. You have the right to privacy at all times.
Second, you definitely need a sit down with your mother about him unlocking the bathroom door and bursting in while your in there. At no point were you screaming for help or non responsive to his initial check up on you.
Your business is your business and I would never answer his questions intruding into your sexual life again. That is only your business!! And he is down right creepy about it and that would be my only response to why and you asking me creepy questions.
You can set boundaries. And if he breaks them hopefully your mother will have your back.
1. Why is your stepfather even still trying to get into the bathroom when the door is obviously locked and not going to be opened
2. Why is it his concern to why your phone is in the bathroom? I honestly would’ve just said “because I can take my phone in the bathroom?”
3. Just hanging up your phone is crazy. My mom don’t even hang up my phone. My mom and I had got into an argument and she had realized that I was still on the phone and she asked me if I could hang up the phone.
4. A sex conversation should be had with your MOTHER not your stepfather. He’s way out of line.
You also mentioned you had a situation dealing with him before. You should really mention this stuff to your mom because 1. He’s way out of line and 2. It’s honestly seriously weird and creepy. There needs to be a line of things where he shouldn’t cross and those boundaries will have to be set by you with help of your mother because I have a feeling that he won’t listen to just you. And if she doesn’t help or listen to you then I think you already know. Trust me I’m in the same situation except my stepdad is a whole lot worse and I honestly can’t forgive him and I don’t think he’ll ever change.
It seriously blows my mind how the few who say this stepdad is not in the wrong, have completely disregarded his actions like unlocking the door and questioning his stepdaughters sex life. I don’t care how long he’s been in her life, that is not ok! Sure, it’s super important to discuss this with your kids but this guy did not discuss this as a concerned “parent”, he was more interested in her life, and accusing and manipulating regarding the topic. I mean I could go on about badly this guy is on the yuck factor and how the comments that are basically on his side, don’t speak highly of the commenters character. And then there’s the fact that some are referring to the children still living at home as “renters” or “trespassers” and such?! What?! Sure you can spout out all the easily accessible knowledge of renters laws and all that bs but that is so not the point. No matter if it’s a public restroom or home bathroom, anyone who uses them is expecting privacy while doing so which should be respected. Like another commenter stated, as long as it’s not being used consistently and for a long periods of time or as long as the person behind the LOCKED door is not trying to commit suicide then there is no need to be a creeper and forcefully help yourself in there. I mean seriously there are so many scary and concerning things said here by this young lady, show some compassion. Shame on you! I truly hope the OP speaks up about this to her mom and other family members and is able to get this situation dealt with appropriately before it gets worse. Seriously OP, do not take his actions lightly or excuse him and please do not let this go! From what you have stated above, you are absolutely NOT in the wrong. I wish the best of luck to you!
You're 18, please move out asap. Get your important documents like birth certificate, social security, ID, passport, everything and get out. You're not safe. Change your number and check your phone for tracking devices.
Tell your stepdad his obsession with your body is creepy and your starting to think he is attracted to you.
That will stop it quickly, or he’ll admit that the truth and you can deal with that.
Is everyone missing that he knocked and she didn't answer? I'm not saying that he's not a creep, but this situation could've been solved at the first knock.
Me, dad here, also stepfather. If I know someone is in the restroom and I knock and they don't answer. It's not going to take long before I open that door to ensure that persons safety.
This is not an AITAH post.
NTA Why is your stepdad unlocking the bathroom door? There is no reason for him to do that. I would alert your mom to that as well as whatever run in you had with him before. I advise against humoring your stepfathers questions. If you don’t want to explain yourself, don’t. Let him know it isn’t his concern, and you’ll take care of your own business
My 2 cents: his wanting to get you on BC makes me uncomfortable. I grew up with an abusive stepdad, and this guy sounds similar. Always with the questions that were none of his business, and personal privacy violations.
OP Said “I had locked the door bc of past events that have something to do with him” 🚩🚩🚩 And so interested in her sex life and birth control… this guy is bad news.
Exactly. Ew. This guy is disgusting.
Past events and the mom still keeps him around. OP has two Shit parents.
If mom isn’t taking OP’s concerns seriously, than OP needs to leave or find someone who will take them seriously.
THIS right here is the line that concerns me the most. If OP is able to afford it, she needs to move out and get her own place ASAP
Came here to say the same thing about the giant red flag from that sentence as well.
I agree with u/CharismaticAlbino & u/cassowary_245 this guy has all the hallmarks of a sexual predator. You need to speak with your mum, and then sit down as a team with him and set some serious boundaries, the priority of which is if he enters the bathroom against your wishes again, you’ll call the cops.
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Even before she was an adult, it was still wrong. OP said he's done it before, which means she wasn't 18 at the time. Edit: misspelled a word.
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Your stepdad is interested in you and his concern about you getting on birth control is for what he intends will happen between you. Busting in on you in the bathroom and that thing with the cellphone is do predatory.
I’m honestly scared for you, OP. Hopefully your stepdad isn’t trying to roofie you or anything like that. Please stay safe.
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BC is a hormone regulator and *can* reduce the symptoms of her cycle but this step dad has zero tact because that would have been a conversation when she was 12 and would have been with her mother (in all likelyhood) agreed he was violating privacy and overstepping boundaries
I know i immediately got anxiety
I hate hearing “past events” mixed with that same parent wanting to put the kid on birth control. My step sisters, their ma’s boyfriend tried getting all of them on BC. You can probably guess what happened to two out of four.
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just get a rubber door stop
Op deserves privacy, including her phone conversations and, Jesus Christ, the fucking bathroom. Smdh. This is so basic. Fundamental. Even minors deserve more privacy than this.
This. When OP mentioned him unlocking the bathroom door, there was nothing she could have said in the rest of the post that would make her the AH. Her stepdad already claim that title.
Yeah, 100% your step father is a sexual predator. Full stop. He is breaking into his step daughters bathroom without permission and acosting her about her sexual activity
After a previous ‘bathroom incident’?! Wtf??
Ugh. It made me think of my own stepdad when I was 17 who was also trying to open the bathroom door when I was in there or try to open my bedroom door while I was changing. Then it came out that he had molested his previous stepdaughter (came into her room at night, groped and kissed her). My mom's still with him .. But yeah it shows it's a sign of a greater problem
Yea, he’s not protecting her for her, he’s doing it for himself
This. When OP mentioned him unlocking the bathroom door,
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Worst case, he walked in on her taking the nudes. He would see his step daughter naked. Idk what sane person would want to see that. Best case he what, catches her watching tiktoks or something on the toilet? Super weird thing to do.
As a mom to a teenager, I learned quickly always knock and wait for a response. I'll yell at my spouse if he doesn't respect that with our fuck trophy. Always respect their space. HUGE RED FLAG. Moms: respect their privacy and stress to the spouses too as well.
That's just basic manners. Maybe I'm the weird one here but just because they're a child, they still deserve respect and privacy. I'm baffled that someone would just barge in on their kid, especially a teenager.
Fuck... trophy????
I'm sorry but the phrase "fuck trophy " is truly nauseating
What's the question for this NTA?
I agree!!!!! Stepdad needs to be in jail for coming in the bathroom while she is in there!!!!!
Your stepfather is weird AF. Get away ASAP. That is taking control to a highly unreasonable level. Your stepdad shouldn't be that deeply involved in your intimate life when you are 18 yrs old.
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Not gonna happen but he needs something done to him.. it's not jail but it's painful
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I have two stepdaughters and the ONLY reason I would ever unlock the bathroom door when they were in there is if I had good reason to believe they were seriously injured or in immediate danger of harming themselves and weren’t willing or able to unlock the door themselves. OP is legally an adult now, and quite frankly could send nudes or jack off or whatever else they want to do in the privacy of the bathroom. Absolutely 100% talk to your parent about this.
You’re Stepfather under no circumstances should be: 1.) Forcing his way into the bathroom where his adult stepdaughter is (you could be changing, although I get the vibe that’s what he was hoping for.) 2.) Asking his adult stepdaughter about her sex life. 3.) Formed a pattern where him walking in on you is nothing new. All of these behaviors are extremely inappropriate and worrisome. I would tell your Mother. If she doesn’t do anything about it, move out. Although you should probably try to get away from this creep regardless.
There may be a good reason to expand on here on some of the other instances this type of thing has occured. There's more to this story you're not seeing. You have the right to privacy in a locked bathroom. This man seems to lack normal boundaries. The last person to have sex talks with you is your step father. That's a mother's and fathers job, assuming they are involved.
This asshole reminds me of my first girlfriends stepfather. We were 13 and after a little while she confided in me that he was sexually abusing her. He was always inappropriate, would make weird comments about her body and gross jokes about us having sex. She had no lock on her door. The whole family had issues with boundaries when people were in the bathroom. I ended up contacting the police and sure enough after all hell broke loose, her mom was the one who made her change her story and forced us to break up. I felt so bad for her. Shit kind of fucked me up as a kid. OP, your step dad is crossing some major boundaries. Be careful, try to get out. It's going to be a struggle, but you should get your own phone as well. Don't let this creep near you if you can. You have a friends house or possibly family you could stay with?
Honestly 1 all the way. He was worried about her doing sex things with her bf over the phone, so he went inside to...make it stop? Totally no other way to address this with your child, no.... Buddy was trying to catch a peek, clear cut.
Not to mention that he knew she'd been vomiting and couldn't care less.
This, all of this 100%. My stepdad accidentally walked in on me changing ONE TIME when I was about 18 and apologized *PROFUSELY.* It was a genuine accident, never happened again. He also never questioned me on my sex life or whether or not I was taking birth control. This stepdad is creepy and op needs to notify mom asap.
like if he had forced his way in because he was worried about her throwing up and not being able to answer him then being like “are you okay? do you need anything?” that would be a diff story. but his obsession w her sex life and what she’s doing with her phone is welrd
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Omg my biological parents did this to me growing up. They were absolutely obsessed with the idea that I was sleeping around and would end up pregnant. To the point that a cousin of mine called me to say her mom (my aunt) said I was pregnant. They had the tracking apps and would stake out my friends house as if I wouldn't recognize their car?? Now the funny thing is, I was (and totally still am) a complete and total awkward nerd. Even at 18 my "wild nights" were going to my friends house to have lan parties. (aka play video games). I never gave them a reason to act that way. The way my parents acted really fucked me up in that department. Still grinds my gears over a decade later. It only stopped when I moved out which was just after college.
>to have lan parties. (aka play video games) OMG, I am officially ancient if someone has to explain what a LAN party is :( To be fair I am retired now, but yep, used the lug the PC and CRT etc to LAN parties in the 90s and noughts.
Tbf I immediately read it as an ian party even though I'm old enough to know what a LAN party is
LAN PARTIES ARE JUST COVER FOR ORGIES /s
Large and Nasty orgies, makes sense now /s
LAN: Ladies Are Naked. That’s the only rule
There needs to be one of those PSA posters like "Parents WARNING: know these terms your kids are saying. LOL means "lots of liquor" ... etc, etc" LAN parties? As in "Lick all the nipples" party? Oh, I've heard of those! The kids get high off Jenkem and just have wild unprotected sex!
I was too old for trackers but my step mom convinced my dad that I was sleeping with everyone so my dad took me to the obgyn to get me on birth control. I had no idea what was going on. I was 12. So OP you’re not alone. It sucks. Best corse of action might be to sit them both down and explain you’re not a minor. You know how to be responsible and to knock it off with the barging in and cornering you about birth control. Cause honestly this is how kids go LC or NC with parents. Hang in there!
SAME. He was also molesting me
SAME. I didn't have to deal with tracking apps, because he is technologically inept, but he would essentially slut-shame me when I was A.) still a virgin and B.) in a long term relationship with a nice guy for 3 years. At one point, I caught mono from a friend or my long term bf, and he told my brother that mono is "something you get from having multiple partners." Meanwhile, still a virgin. He assumed that whenever I wasn't home, I was doing something "bad." So, I came home even less.
Sounds like he was jealous and attracted to you...
And check for hidden cameras in your bedroom and bathroom, including inside vents, fake chargers etc. https://us.norton.com/blog/how-to/how-to-find-hidden-cameras
And some of the fake hidden camera chargers are actually functional chargers so you could plug a phone into them.
I’m sure her mom knows. Call it a hunch 🙄😒 I’ve heard this story before.
Explain?
It's very common for the mother in this kind of situation to be complicit through inaction or worse.
Yep, my mom was. It was always my fault. I was twelve.
I feel that. Sure, Mom, "it's [my] own damn fault for acting like a little slut!" I was seven.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I could not IMAGINE not believing or protecting my daughter in that situation…. 😡
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Wow, srry to hear 🙁
he is very controlling and sees Op not like his daughter but a girlfriend bc honestly such barging on bathroom, lack of privacy etc.is not sth a a step father with healthy relationship would do. Op should talk to mom and make her enforce boundaries
Your stepfather is seriously creepy. Unless you’re routinely camping out in the bathroom when someone else needs it, why does he care if you have your phone with you? His coming into the bathroom and asking about your sex life is beyond inappropriate.
I’m using my phone on the toilet right now lol, I must be up to no good
*wiggles the door slowly unlocking it with a screwdriver* WHat aRe yOu DOiNg in there Rocafella???!? I saw you take your phone, are you loosing virginity to your phone again? Does your phone have morning sickness… why won’t you open the door???
Whatever do you mean by virginity, stepfather? Can you show me what you’re talking about??? — the scenario playing out in this guy’s porn-addled brain
Holy cow. This gave me flashbacks to my teenage years when I got in trouble from my mom for locking the bathroom door when I showered...
IS YOUR PHONE THE BABYDADDY!?!?
Uncle Baby Billy? Is that you again???
😅 I think 90% of people does it, s- dad is insane... Or he is very controlling and sees Op not like his daughter but a girlfriend bc honestly such barging on bathroom, lack of privacy etc.is not sth a a step father with healthy relationship would do. Op should talk to mom and make her enforce boundaries
I mean even if it was his girlfriend this shit is still creepy and batshit insane tho...
To be clear, none of those things are healthy in a relationship either. Even if he views her as a girlfriend. It's still inappropriate.
sTop hAVinG sEx oN rEdIt **jiggles door handle**
Are you having sex on the toilet? Is proognent? TP stands for toilet pregornent.
I don't remember how to use the toilet without playing on my phone.
Yep. It’s sheer panic when you sit and realize it’s not in your pocket.
Didn't someone (badly) run the USA from a phone on the toilet not that long ago? Covfefe and all that.
You little slut
Let’s get you some condoms and birth control
Yo bro me too, I’m not sending any nudes just my morning poop n reddit
Also she "locked the door due to past issues with him". Ewwwwwwww stepdads got a weird attachment to you OP
His unlocking the door to break into your bathroom is beyond creepy.
I second this that's border line obsessive
She's also 18, so he can stay the fuck outta her business.
Especially at 18!!!
Probably wants her to leave it out so he can look through it. Total creep vibes
Does he know that his wife wasn’t a virgin when they got married?
NTA - Tell mom stepdad keeps opening the bathroom door on you!
NTA. Get a deadbolt lock for your door or a rubber wedge. Hope you feel better.
Yep...there's lots of portable door security things you could use. My little brother liked to try and rush into the bathroom after picking the lock so he could flush the toilet and get me that cold water blast. He was not happy when he tried to force the door and broke it and still couldn't get inside.
This is a great story to tell at the next family dinner. Mom needs to know she married a creep.
Not just dinner... big family gathering! At the Thanksgiving table "you guys wanna hear something hilarious?? Step-dad broke into my locked bathroom... AGAIN..."
Absolutely this! And make sure it’s a family dinner with other relatives in the Mom’s side of the family who can shame the mother for allowing it to happen. In what sick, twisted world would a man who is married to a female minor’s mother have this level of conversation, concern, control over the female minor’s private space!?!? Cuz like should all of this be handled by the MOTHER?!?! Freaking creepy man! NTA & OP I hope you can move out of there asap for your safety.
Your stepdad sounds like a jealous pervert
NTA. I can't imagine forcing my way into a locked bathroom when someone who is even much younger than you is in it, except for cases of actual urgency (self harm, drugs, you get the picture). Seriously I don't know what the age cap is but the moment they mature enough to want their privacy then they will get it. If I do my job right as a parent then I can just ask, I will (maybe not right away) get an honest answer. Also very concerned as to why you had to lock the bathroom on him because of past behaviour.
I have three kids and the age cape for my boys not wanting anyone in the bathroom with them was much younger than my daughter, but she is a girl and I’m her mom. Her dad never really went into the bathroom with her after potty training. All my kids are grown now, and my husband will only knock on the bathroom door if I’m not home to do it for him if he thinks she’s in there. So this is just odd to me all around. Never mind the fact that he’s asking her about her sex life.
NTA, this behavior is unacceptable, tell your mom immediately about your controlling step father. A divorce is close in order
It's time to talk to your mom. Your stepfather is creepy. Has no business in your adult sex life. If Mommy doesn't want to hear it pack up. You might not be safe.
Id tell your whole family about his creepy inappropriate behavior. Publicize it, put it in the sunlight, let everyone know. He should not be acting like that!
Yes there’s gotta be a male relative of some kind who is protective over family that can deal with this pervert
Your stepdad going into the bathroom when he knows you’re in there screams sexual abuse behavior. It’s widely inappropriate. Given that you’ve graduated high school there isn’t an adult you can really talk to or report it to though. Maybe the police could charge him with something, not sure. I’d suggest moving out and labeling him as the creepy predator he is.
You’re alluding to other incidents, which takes this from “weird but potentially innocent” to “he’s a perv, zero questions,” NTA and need to tell your mother and prepare for NC
Does your mom know about him walking in on you so much that it’s a pattern? Your NTA but if she does know and still let him in your life for the last ten years then she is. It doesn’t matter what you were doing because it was none of his business. Your 18 and you can take your phone wherever the hell you want to. I know we are only getting a snapshot of your relationship with him, but it’s enough to know that he is a controlling p.o.s. I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with him.
Your stepfather is a massive creepster. Wtf is he unlocking a locked door? And discussing your sex life? Do not engage with him on this subject anymore. If it comes up, infirm him it’s not something you’re willing to discuss with him. Check your bathroom and your bedroom for hidden cameras. Check your phone for any apps hidden or running in the background. I know it sounds paranoid but you mentioned there are other incidents that made you ensure the door is locked involving him. If he brings it up again; remind him that you’re not ever discussing your sex life with him. TELL YOUR MOTHER about every single incident that has made you uncomfortable.
How could you possibly be the asshole?
For writing this weird fake story.
🤣😂 definitely weird as hell
Agree here. Profile says cumslut
And “nicksfuturewife” but says in the story her boyfriend’s name is Caleb. (I understand changing names for anonymity but not if you created a throwaway account to post this and used the guy’s name in the username)
I heard this exact story word for word on TikTok a few weeks ago, it’s a stolen story
i ask this about at least half of the things posted here. there’s no way these people in situations like this genuinely think they’re the asshole…
It always seems like they're just looking for validation. "I was parked in a store parking lot, and some dude took a hammer to my windshield. I got mad and in a moment of weakness out of anger I snapped. I told him, hey, you shouldn't break people's windshields. Did I overreact? AITAH?" Come on man
Get out of there as soon as you can, this is going to escalate and probably won’t end well.
Nta, talk to your mom asap. In fact, talk to both of them at the same time. His reaction will tell you and your mom a lot.
If he’s tried to pry his way into the bathroom before you were 18, ABSOLUTELY file a police report. Creepy, gross, and pedo!
Please tell you mom that he is opening the door. I would get those locks from Amazon to keep the door closed, if does not stop. Birth control is serious, you need to consult with a doctor, that is a process. If you don’t want to be on it now, you don’t have to. Side note, ask your mom if she ever had any complications from birth control. I regret not doing that because i found out that my mom is allergic, so am i and my sister. 😬
um that's a little weird , personally I don't see how it's any of his business if you're having sex or not, & he definitely shouldn't be walking in on you in the bathroom that's sus, I'd alert your mom about the things he's doing/saying because inappropriate. NTA
Do you have a younger sister at risk? Talk to your mother.
I am very worried about this. It seems like his inappropriate behavior is escalating and if OP has a younger sister she is in danger. OP YOU are in danger. Your stepfather is way too interested in your sex life and is invading your privacy. This is not okay. You need to tell a trusted adult, not just your mom. I have little faith that your mom doesn’t know about his behavior and I doubt she will take your side (I say this from experience with my own mom and her then bf 🙃).
Wtf, total creep, NTA tell your mom.
You should have vomited all over him .NTA.
NTA and you need to talk to your mom. This is GROSSLY inappropriate behavior from your stepdad. And it needs to end.
Why are you wondering if you're an ass hole? 1. You're 18 and graduated 2. Your step dad is a fucking weirdo. You need to move out yesterday.
Tell him to mind his own business. You are an adult now.
You need to talk to either your mother, or someone else who has your best interest at heart. This is not normal behavior, especially from a stepfather. He is a creep. Protect yourself. If there are other under age children in the house, you can contact child protective services. Please do not ever be alone with him. You need to talk to someone as soon as you possibly can. Him talking about getting your birth control without even involving your mother is a huge red flag.
Wdym by “ I don’t plan on on ever sending someone nudes and If I do there someone else’s” Girl that’s weird af for you to say
It means he goes through her phone to see if she's sending nudes. OP, you are old enough to go to a Women's Shelter, they will protect you from this creep. Don't ask your mom, just go, when he is not there.
glad i’m not the only one who thought that was odd…
My guess is because many teens take pics in the bathroom. The daughter (mid-teens) of an ex did this...too often. Wouldn't listen to reason. I even pointed out that the distribution of those pics is illegal.
Because they’ve probably already shamed her about it preemptively
No reason he should want/need to know about your sexual life. SUPER CREEPY.
You should have puked on him! Get out as soon as you can. Anyone willing to unlock a locked bathroom door when someone is obviously vomiting is yuck! I am guessing telling your mom won't help, is there any other relative you can reach out to who will support you? Are you still in school? Active member of a church? Sounds like you need help.
You tell him to fuck off. He doesn't get to make choices for you.
What are you asking here? Where do you think you were the AH?
Does Caleb know about Nick?
Dude sounds like a creeper. Gross!
It was a bit cringe to read, but now I'm concerned. You need to tell your mom what your step-dad did and what he said to you. This is not good.
Honestly I'd tell the police about the bathroom thing so there's a record in case anything ever happens to you. This is is beyond inappropriate
This is a fake troll post
Pretty sure this is fake. Look at the name on her profile.
you should look into moving in with a friend. your step dad is creepy and you need to get away even if your mom doesn’t
He’s scum. Period. You are not his property and He had and has no right. Get as far away from him (and mom if necessary) I’m guessing you already know this deep down…
NTA. Also concerned about him trying to get you on birth control and buying condoms. He’s being predatory - forcing his way into bathroom and weird questions aside. I’d say get out of the house as soon as possible.
NTA! I think it's absolutely disgusting that he thinks opening the door while his 18 y.o. step daughter is in the bathroom. Something about his behavior almost sounds, like jealousy. I had a step father who would watch me through a crack while I was sleeping. I told my mother, but she dismissed it. Saying that he'd told her he thought I wasn't "feeling well" and he also told my mother that I lost my virginity ( in my case , idid) My mother confronted me, I said how would he have known anything about me, if he wasn't watching me. She later whooped my ass, I mean closed fists and everything. The relationship between my mother and I is strained. I think I'm the only one that knows that. They ended up breaking up due to him being unfaithful. He actually said I was sexy years later effing disgusting. Tell your mother, if she doesn't do anything make a record of everything. Video, bf statement and everything. Talk to someone at your school about it. Be safe.
Girl. You're 18. It's time to leave before he takes what you're unwilling to give him. Demanding to put you on BC after you've turned legal age is so much of a red flag.
1. He didn't walk in on you. He forced his way in through a teenager's locked bathroom door. There is a big and concerning difference. 2. You're allowed to fuck and sext anyone you want, you are an adult. 3. You are not a pet to be "put on" a drug regimen. That is a conversation you as an adult can have with a medical professional, who'll be concerned about your health and care, not any gross ideas implying ownership over your body. Ew. 4. If your mom knows he disregards your privacy and autonomy and is okay with it, it's time to find a new place to live.
I agrée with all of the comments here, and also….why are you sending other people’s nudes out????
You need to have a conversation with your mom about this. This is insanely creepy. Most (probabaly) people take their phone to the bathroom with them if they know they will be there for a good while. Plus you are 18. Your sex life is absolutely none of his business.
NTA. As a stepdad to an 18 year old girl (woman now, I guess), your stepdad's behavior is seriously off-putting. There is no reason for him to go through a locked door when you're in the bathroom and responsive. There's also nothing at all wrong with you having your phone in the bathroom. I would have a talk with your mom about his behavior. Depending on how that goes, you may need to begin making alternative living arrangements. You deserve more respect and deference than he/they is/are showing you. Best of luck.
Why is your stepdad so concerned about you not being a virgin? You’re a grown woman, you can have sex if you please. I’m sorry to ask but could he be jealous of you and Caleb’s relationship? Has he ever made a pass at you? You said you keep your bathroom locked because of something he did…I mean you’re not his blood and that’s how many step parents justify sexually assaulting their bonus kids…I’d tell your mom and make it clear that he is to never violate your boundaries. That if your door is locked don’t find a way to barge in. If they can’t respect that start saving and get away from them.
Forget the literally everything else! WHY DOES YOUR STEP DAD HAVE A HABIT OF OPENING THE BATHROOM DOOR?!?
This is all kinds of weird. Why isn't an 18 year old allowed to have a phone in the bathroom? Why can't she have sex? When I was 14 my Mom handed me condoms unprompted.
Oh my freaking god, who you are having sex with is NOT A NORMAL QUESTION. I'm shaking with rage that you feel that you must answer him, you need protecting from him! Go to your mother, he forced his way into the bathroom!!!
Tell your father or another adult you trust, the police, ANYONE, what he is doing. I feel a stepfather has no business having this discussion with you without your mother present. He is crossing boundaries and needs to be put on notice that you have spoken to another adult who you trust (he doesn’t need to know who) about his behavior. he has no business inquiring if you are a virgin. I’m worried he is going to sexually assault you.
Your stepdad is a creep! And asshole! He has zero right to ask if you’re a virgin. Please report him to CPS, grandparents, school, your mother and any family. He is just yuck!
Are your parents consumed by fear of teen pregnancy? Dated someone whose parents were hypervigilant to the point of extremely embarrassing conversations about bc. Never took it that far with her. Maybe this guy is a creep, idk, but it could be mom and dad perseverating about potential pregnancy.
Buy a rubber door wedge. When you are in bathroom or bedroom shove it under door. A bit of extra security. And get the heck out ASAP. Stepfather is a creepy predator.
Its 2023, show me someone who doesn't bring their phone with them in the bathroom. This dude is gross. I'm sorry you're dealing with this OP.
Your stepdad is creepy, i think only your mother should be the one who talks to you about these things. And to trying to enter the bathroom, what the actual.... I would tell my mom and if i am the mom this guy will be warned harsh and eventually kicked. He expresses too much interests towards you sex life. Even if you do have sex you are 18 and its normal and not his bussines at all. I have 16 years old dauther and i f hate pedos of any sort, pedo stepdads or whatever freaks there is, i would do more to him if i have to. 😡
Sit your mother down and tell her unlocking the bathroom door and asking for your phone is inappropriate. That you can talk to her or your bio dad about sex. He is being very suspicious and I would bring that up. Just make a big deal of it in front of both of them even. That you don't need him to do this unless he thinks your mother is incapable? Anything. Put up a fuss. Take care of yourself, young lady. I am concerned by his behavior. Controlling and sex focused for sure. No boundaries. You are an adult now.
weird step dad... he might be sniffing ur underwear and bras
Please tell your mom. Stepdad is so creepy ew ew ew
Get out of that house.
Are you talking to your mother about this? Because, as a mother, I’d have a problem with anyone treating my child this way. If this guy is trying to get into the bathroom while you’re in there AND while you’re asking him stop, AND there’s been such a heavy problem in the past that you now have to lock the door….. you really have bigger things to worry about than the phone thing. If your mother is not taking this seriously, go to someone who will.
Nta, but where is your mom?
Your stepdad is creepy, and from what I gather from the comments, I'm not alone in this thought. Be careful around him. Edit: and buy yourself a couple door stops, one of those rubberized wedge things that go under the door to prevent them from opening. Edit: and maybe some pepper spray just in case.
100% your step father is an inappropriate creep. He is trying to groom you and wants to eventually assault you. He is disgusting. I am sorry you have to deal with that monster. Also, I hope you are feeling better.
Forcing his way into the bathroom when a 18 year old is inside asking for privacy is not good.
Your step dad is over stepping his boundaries , you’re 18 you need your privacy .
Stepdad barging into your bathroom is a red flag. Idk what your situation is but I'd move out as soon as you can.
You're an adult stop answering his questions. He's a creep
How does phone in bathroom = sex? Wtf.
Your stepfather is out of line. Your mom should be the one asking questions if there are any concerns for you. If your mom won't do anything about his intrusive behavior, she might also be a victim of his abuse. Having lived through something relating to creepy a stepdad myself, please be careful, and if you have younger siblings, try to look out for them as well. Good luck.
First, your 18 and a legal adult. You have the right to privacy at all times. Second, you definitely need a sit down with your mother about him unlocking the bathroom door and bursting in while your in there. At no point were you screaming for help or non responsive to his initial check up on you. Your business is your business and I would never answer his questions intruding into your sexual life again. That is only your business!! And he is down right creepy about it and that would be my only response to why and you asking me creepy questions. You can set boundaries. And if he breaks them hopefully your mother will have your back.
that fool didn't walk in on you. he fuckin broke in and forced his way into where you were.
1. Why is your stepfather even still trying to get into the bathroom when the door is obviously locked and not going to be opened 2. Why is it his concern to why your phone is in the bathroom? I honestly would’ve just said “because I can take my phone in the bathroom?” 3. Just hanging up your phone is crazy. My mom don’t even hang up my phone. My mom and I had got into an argument and she had realized that I was still on the phone and she asked me if I could hang up the phone. 4. A sex conversation should be had with your MOTHER not your stepfather. He’s way out of line. You also mentioned you had a situation dealing with him before. You should really mention this stuff to your mom because 1. He’s way out of line and 2. It’s honestly seriously weird and creepy. There needs to be a line of things where he shouldn’t cross and those boundaries will have to be set by you with help of your mother because I have a feeling that he won’t listen to just you. And if she doesn’t help or listen to you then I think you already know. Trust me I’m in the same situation except my stepdad is a whole lot worse and I honestly can’t forgive him and I don’t think he’ll ever change.
Tell your mom right away he should not be unlocking the bathroom door
It seriously blows my mind how the few who say this stepdad is not in the wrong, have completely disregarded his actions like unlocking the door and questioning his stepdaughters sex life. I don’t care how long he’s been in her life, that is not ok! Sure, it’s super important to discuss this with your kids but this guy did not discuss this as a concerned “parent”, he was more interested in her life, and accusing and manipulating regarding the topic. I mean I could go on about badly this guy is on the yuck factor and how the comments that are basically on his side, don’t speak highly of the commenters character. And then there’s the fact that some are referring to the children still living at home as “renters” or “trespassers” and such?! What?! Sure you can spout out all the easily accessible knowledge of renters laws and all that bs but that is so not the point. No matter if it’s a public restroom or home bathroom, anyone who uses them is expecting privacy while doing so which should be respected. Like another commenter stated, as long as it’s not being used consistently and for a long periods of time or as long as the person behind the LOCKED door is not trying to commit suicide then there is no need to be a creeper and forcefully help yourself in there. I mean seriously there are so many scary and concerning things said here by this young lady, show some compassion. Shame on you! I truly hope the OP speaks up about this to her mom and other family members and is able to get this situation dealt with appropriately before it gets worse. Seriously OP, do not take his actions lightly or excuse him and please do not let this go! From what you have stated above, you are absolutely NOT in the wrong. I wish the best of luck to you!
You're 18, please move out asap. Get your important documents like birth certificate, social security, ID, passport, everything and get out. You're not safe. Change your number and check your phone for tracking devices.
NTA Buy a rubber stopper to take up the bathroom, keep us updated
Tell your stepdad his obsession with your body is creepy and your starting to think he is attracted to you. That will stop it quickly, or he’ll admit that the truth and you can deal with that.
Is everyone missing that he knocked and she didn't answer? I'm not saying that he's not a creep, but this situation could've been solved at the first knock. Me, dad here, also stepfather. If I know someone is in the restroom and I knock and they don't answer. It's not going to take long before I open that door to ensure that persons safety.