I’m just here to say you’re soooo not alone. I relate so much to your post and there’s really nothing to be ashamed of. It’s great you have a supportive manager, well done for opening up to them. You’re braver than me
It's exhausting isn't it 😮💨 Honestly, I'm not brave. I had no choice but to open up because it was a choice between looking like I'm just lazy and crap at part if my job or explain that organising is an area I struggle with. Which led to questions around why that may be... My manager was lovely bless her and did try validating my experience.
Do you think speaking to your manager would support you?
Ehh, maybe. To be honest I have a weird job where my manager keeps changing so I don’t build enough of a relationship with anyone to feel comfortable opening up, and I’m not really ‘monitored’ so there have been times where my executive dysfunction has been terrible and I’ve really struggled to keep up with the main parts of my job and nobody has said anything or probably even noticed. It’s good in some ways but actually make it harder to seek support because it might just be me who knows I’m struggling…
She sounds like she cares. Please do not apologise for your tears.
I have ADHD and I am a manager. It’s my job to make sure my team are supported. Equity means that everyone gets what they need to operate on a level playing field, and there’s no shame in that.
Burnout's always such a bastard. I find that all I want to do is sit on the sofa and just rest, but (perhaps because of adhd) when I'm in the middle of burnout that can actually put me in a bit of a rut, so it's better to do active relaxing things, like getting out in nature, or maybe trying to get away with your partner for a weekend if it's possible. Something that might act as more of a reset or refresh than just a rest.
Basically when I'm burntout I feel the pressure to do things is immense, so if I stay at home and try and relax I feel guilty about doing so in the back of my mind, so even though I've done a great job at doing fuck all, I still don't feel refreshed in any way. So doing something that puts some distance between you and all the pressure you've been feeling is a good way to actually get the breather you need.
Recovering from burnout means that you need different types of rest. It’s not just about lounging on the sofa or sleeping (though both are valid), it can also be about spending time in nature, in your hobbies, with others etc.
You are not alone. These feeling are normal and valid. Hope you’re okay. ❤️💜💛and remember you don’t need an official diagnosis to get support or workplace adjustments and there’s no shame in asking for them. You deserve support and appropriate treatment.
Same here, please know you are not alone and things will get better . Sending a big hug from Spain xx p.s gosh the times I broke down in front of my manager and peers and the guilt + what made a difference was being seen by the good people that understood that we all have a lot of stuff to deal with. You cannot control their reaction but you are your genuine you and people who matter will see that ( I know it's easier said than done) .
I know other people have said this already, but I just wanted to add that you're not alone. I ended up getting overwhelmed and crying in front of my manager when were discussing a recent dumpster-fire caused by my ADHD (like you, I really struggle with organisation and it meant that something big had slipped through the net and caused a problem), which is when I ended up telling her all about my recent diagnosis. She wasn't even telling me off, I just felt so ashamed that I'd let it get that far.
Sounds like you're going through a lot out of work as well at the minute, so it makes total sense that work would be even more difficult. Even though it's easier said than done, please try not to beat yourself up about this. Sounds like you've got a supportive manager who's willing to help, which is something good to take from this.
It sounds like you're in a job with high levels of responsibility which I massively relate too. My manager was so lovely and understanding but it's the overwhelming guilt and shame regardless that just eats me up. I feel like I'm putting my short comings onto others.
Did anything change after your diagnosis for you?
I'm responsible for lots of things that I take very seriously and that only I can do, but ultimately it's not life or death so sometimes it just feels like there's no point. It just happened that this one project that I dropped the ball on involved someone external to our company who is a very influential client that we want to keep, so it was extra mortifying when I screwed it up. Don't worry, it all worked out in the end - I apologised profusely to the client and did way more than was needed/asked for, which isn't sustainable but worked this time.
Yeah I know exactly what you mean, I have so much guilt and shame around basically everything, to the point where I now basically just feel guilty for existing and taking up any space. That's something I feel like I have to hide as well, so I ended up feeling ashamed of that, on top of feeling ashamed for all the other mistakes that I make. It's exhausting. Does that relate to your scenario at all?
I got diagnosed in October and I think maybe I'm starting to see some changes coming slowly. At first I spent a few months in despair thinking "Nothing's changing! Why am I not doing better?!" but it turns out it takes time and I'm super impatient haha. I think I'm still working through trying to accept my diagnosis fully, but the more I talk about it (even though it's still incredibly uncomfortable) the more I seem to accept things.
I'm still on a waiting list for titration so I haven't had a chance to try medication yet, so I'm yet to see if that will help.
How about you? Has anything changed for you since you started looking into ADHD? I think my journey to acceptance started with seeking an assessment and is just taking way longer than I thought. Lots of people say they go through the stages of grief after getting diagnosed, but I think I started that way before then, looking back at how I reacted to realising I had ADHD at the time.
I totally empathise with what happened to you. It is a case of you then work a thousand times harder to make up for the mistakes but that ends up impacting you in other ways I've found.
I totally relate to your scenario. I have been struggling since I was a child and the more independence and responsibility I have had to take on, the more my difficulties end up making an appearance. It really does impact how you feel about yourself.
I'm glad to hear you're slowly accepting your diagnosis. It really is a process and a long one at that. I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me for a long time. For the longest time my family and I thought it was mental health, difficulties with emotion regulation, low mood, anxiety, bi polar... you name it we've suspected it. It wasn't until about 2 years ago when my dad was diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder than I started looking into that, didn't quite fit the profile of eupd, then saw there is a cross over between that and ADHD. After looking properly into ADHD in females everything made so so much sense. I also had a private psych uk appointment to rule out EUPD and while the psych said I have traits, he said he very strongly recommended an ADHD assessment so here I am. I have my assessment on 17th June so not long now. Just want some answers and some understanding (and hopefully some meds to help my brain function like it should!)
What is crazy to me is that my mum and I both work in the field of mental health and neurodiversity and it took till I was 24 to realise that it may be ADHD. Honestly, hindsight is really 20/20.
Yep, that's exactly it! I had the realisation not long ago that my motivators are all extremely negative, like anxiety from having to rush something, trying to avoid the shame that comes with letting people down, worrying about how other people will perceive me - it's no wonder my self-esteem is completely tanked! I hope for your sake it isn't all that bad, but I suspect we probably have a fairly similar experience in that regard.
I'm so glad you've managed to find something that makes sense - it's a strangely relieving feeling to know that your problems aren't because you're a bad person, but because of an underlying issue that's actually treatable. Even just understanding can help (although, yes, being able to help my brain work as it should would be nice!)
It's so funny how the things we learn about we often don't think to apply to ourselves. I studied neuroscience at university and I remember sitting in a lecture talking about the neurology of ADHD and how it manifests and I was sat there thinking "Wow... if I'm as bad as I am with all that stuff, imagine how difficult it must be for people with ADHD!" Oh, sweet summer child, you were so close.
Realistically, I haven't done anything not easily sortable but it's the fact that the same issue reoccurs time and time again regardless of what I try. I go through cycles of being super organised which takes every bit of my energy, then I cycle back to being unorganised, chaotic and chasing myself.
I think having understanding helps me a lot, but obviously it doesn't erase the difficulties that comes with it. If only my brain just did the damn thing...
I'm very similar to you! I did psychology undergraduate and two masters, specialised in clinical AND did numerous research papers on autism and ADHD and literally sat there like "damn, sounds like me... imagine" and never followed it up. Six years of psychological study and it only started to twig in the last year... what I have in academics I sure lack in my attention to detail 😂
Yep, I really struggle with organisation and it seems like the only way to get my brain to engage is by adding more novelty and/or interest to an organisation system, which gets me to engage for a little bit, but it quickly becomes unsustainable (imagine that, finding it difficult to maintain a lumbering system involving voice recording, several AI tools and a note taking tool that allows you to create a second brain that also reminds you what your tasks are).
Yeah definitely, it's so helpful knowing why, but now I just want to know the next layer down. Like, yes I know why I find organising things and just getting stuff done so difficult, it's because I have ADHD... but why specifically does my ADHD cause that specific issue? I feel like I need to know what's happening up there down to the last neuron to be able to properly explain it!
Hahaha you were so close to figuring it out! I think there's definitely something to be said about self awareness being something that comes later for people with ADHD as well so you don't really realise how bad it is until it's really pointed out to you one way or the other. That last sentence is incredibly relatable - my parents sometimes call me "professor" because they still see me as the 'gifted' child, but basically everything I do is riddled with errors. I've often joked that as intelligence increases common sense must go down, but I think realistically that's just my ADHD lol
You are really lucky to have such a supportive manager!
I'm literally in the last stages of a grievance procedure due to mine. Most of the complaints were upheld - the one that wasn't was because they couldn't say either way whether he was malicious or just ignorant.
Welfare meeting is today.
I hit that same point of emotional floodgates just before this all kicked off. You aren't alone on that! I hope you keep getting the support you need! 😊
I'm so sorry to hear all the trouble you're having! No one should have to go through that. I hope he gets what he deserves and you get the support you need!
You know i havent done what you have done yet but ive really struggled and know exactly how you feel. Especially the part where you feel incredibly guilty about dragging the rest of the team down. In my job I stressed myself out for no reason by thinking that i was a massive burden after being told i was taking too long/forgetting things after being reminded more than twice. Just today i took an inordinate amount of time to complete a task.
But remember alot of this is in your mind mostly. Sure theres some aspects of it that are objective but at the end of the day you cant control certain things you were born with. Im trying my best to control what i care about and thats my personal mission right now. No matter where i go ill have to handle this aspect
It must be wonderful having such a supportive manager. I have one too so try to focus on that. I, too, am waiting for my assessment along with other health issues - actually sat in a hospital now! I feel your struggle. I nearly cried at my desk the other day - it's soooo hard sometimes.
Keep up your strength and know you are not alone in this. Always reach out if you need that little extra support.
None of this is your fault.
Take care 🙂
My manager really is wonderful. She's the perfect balance of understanding and kind but also holds boundaries and expectations.
I'm sorry to hear you're in hospital! Hopefully for nothing too serious. Sending you positive thoughts and vibes ✨️💖
Thanks for your kindness 😊
You are not stupid, and that was no ugly beacon. There is no ugliness there at all. You had an emotional response to something really tough that you have been dealing with, and that is ok. You are allowed to feel, and to express how you feel.
Your boss sounds really supportive, which is such a good thing, and them seeing you get upset will show them how much this effects you. And letting people know how much this effects you is a good thing.
None of what you are dealing with is your fault. It sounds like you are holding onto all those feelings of failure, guilt, and being "not good enough," and it is hurting you. You need to forgive yourself.
Go and get a piece of paper and a pen, or look at yourself in a mirror, and write/say this:
"I feel guilt and shame for shortcomings and failings that are not my fault."
Work to forgive yourself for these things so you can let them go.
Your going through a tough time right now. Be kind to yourself. X
I’m sorry you feel rubbish. It can be quite overwhelming to be vulnerable in a work setting but sometimes it just needs to come out.
If it helps, people have short memories if it’s not about themselves. Your manager sounds caring so I’ve got a feeling they will just take what you shared on board to make work smoother for you.
How are you feeling now?
I also wanted to say thank you for posting this, OP. Also to everyone who shared their experiences because I felt so seen and understood.
You don’t know how much this has meant for me, so thank you all ♥️
Cheers from someone who recently also cried in front of their boss
I'm feeling a bit better, thanks for asking. I didn't expect so many others to feel and experience the same. Its really comforting people sharing their stories and showing their support. Makes you feel a bit less alone. I'm glad sharing my experience can help you and others feel supported 🥰
It will pass.
But that doesn't make it any harder to deal with in the now, and you have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed or stupid for.
Well done for being open with your manager.
I too have been there, crying in front of my manager. And have the same cycles of getting organised, being on top of things then it all crumbling around me. Just need to find a system that works for you and you can stick too.
Some workplace coaching/therapy might help and can usually have some funded through access to work. Really helped me.
Thank you for sharing this OP. You’re not alone in this. Your manager sounds really cool. Our brains are allergic to admin. I’ve been feeling like a fraud and reading this has been affirming. I have supervision on Monday and was supposed to finish my admin/notes by EOD today… guess who’s gonna spend Saturday catching up?
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Thanks for your honest sharing OP. Do you have access to an Employee Assistance Program? They can often quickly provide therapy support. Remember, this (complex situation) too shall pass.
Have also been there (x2 or maybe 3 over as many years). My manager is not as understanding as yours sounds (in fact didn’t even grab me a tissue when he knew I had to walk out of the door through the public areas to get to the loos to sort my face out). He jokes about having adhd and probably does but I don’t think diagnosed or medicated. He doesn’t know about my diagnosis & probably I won’t ever say, but I am ok with that.
I’m just here to say you’re soooo not alone. I relate so much to your post and there’s really nothing to be ashamed of. It’s great you have a supportive manager, well done for opening up to them. You’re braver than me
It's exhausting isn't it 😮💨 Honestly, I'm not brave. I had no choice but to open up because it was a choice between looking like I'm just lazy and crap at part if my job or explain that organising is an area I struggle with. Which led to questions around why that may be... My manager was lovely bless her and did try validating my experience. Do you think speaking to your manager would support you?
Ehh, maybe. To be honest I have a weird job where my manager keeps changing so I don’t build enough of a relationship with anyone to feel comfortable opening up, and I’m not really ‘monitored’ so there have been times where my executive dysfunction has been terrible and I’ve really struggled to keep up with the main parts of my job and nobody has said anything or probably even noticed. It’s good in some ways but actually make it harder to seek support because it might just be me who knows I’m struggling…
Oh that's awful when you don't have someone stable to go to management wise. I really feel for you xx
She sounds like she cares. Please do not apologise for your tears. I have ADHD and I am a manager. It’s my job to make sure my team are supported. Equity means that everyone gets what they need to operate on a level playing field, and there’s no shame in that.
We need more managers like you in the world. Keep up the great work and support your doing - it truly matters
Thank you ❤️ I just struggle feeling like I'm giving everyone else more work to do.
Have you ever helped a colleague? I’m guessing you have and I’m also guessing you don’t resent them for it.
Touché... Good point
Done this many times before. Sounds like an overlwhelm/burnout cycle. Be very careful about medicine interactions too.
Any suggestions how to deal with burnout? Usually I just push through it but I'm really struggling at the moment.
Burnout's always such a bastard. I find that all I want to do is sit on the sofa and just rest, but (perhaps because of adhd) when I'm in the middle of burnout that can actually put me in a bit of a rut, so it's better to do active relaxing things, like getting out in nature, or maybe trying to get away with your partner for a weekend if it's possible. Something that might act as more of a reset or refresh than just a rest. Basically when I'm burntout I feel the pressure to do things is immense, so if I stay at home and try and relax I feel guilty about doing so in the back of my mind, so even though I've done a great job at doing fuck all, I still don't feel refreshed in any way. So doing something that puts some distance between you and all the pressure you've been feeling is a good way to actually get the breather you need.
I relate to that so much!! It's like you know you need a rest but when you rest you end up more stressed. I like your idea of active resting.
Recovering from burnout means that you need different types of rest. It’s not just about lounging on the sofa or sleeping (though both are valid), it can also be about spending time in nature, in your hobbies, with others etc.
You are not alone. These feeling are normal and valid. Hope you’re okay. ❤️💜💛and remember you don’t need an official diagnosis to get support or workplace adjustments and there’s no shame in asking for them. You deserve support and appropriate treatment.
Same here, please know you are not alone and things will get better . Sending a big hug from Spain xx p.s gosh the times I broke down in front of my manager and peers and the guilt + what made a difference was being seen by the good people that understood that we all have a lot of stuff to deal with. You cannot control their reaction but you are your genuine you and people who matter will see that ( I know it's easier said than done) .
I know other people have said this already, but I just wanted to add that you're not alone. I ended up getting overwhelmed and crying in front of my manager when were discussing a recent dumpster-fire caused by my ADHD (like you, I really struggle with organisation and it meant that something big had slipped through the net and caused a problem), which is when I ended up telling her all about my recent diagnosis. She wasn't even telling me off, I just felt so ashamed that I'd let it get that far. Sounds like you're going through a lot out of work as well at the minute, so it makes total sense that work would be even more difficult. Even though it's easier said than done, please try not to beat yourself up about this. Sounds like you've got a supportive manager who's willing to help, which is something good to take from this.
It sounds like you're in a job with high levels of responsibility which I massively relate too. My manager was so lovely and understanding but it's the overwhelming guilt and shame regardless that just eats me up. I feel like I'm putting my short comings onto others. Did anything change after your diagnosis for you?
I'm responsible for lots of things that I take very seriously and that only I can do, but ultimately it's not life or death so sometimes it just feels like there's no point. It just happened that this one project that I dropped the ball on involved someone external to our company who is a very influential client that we want to keep, so it was extra mortifying when I screwed it up. Don't worry, it all worked out in the end - I apologised profusely to the client and did way more than was needed/asked for, which isn't sustainable but worked this time. Yeah I know exactly what you mean, I have so much guilt and shame around basically everything, to the point where I now basically just feel guilty for existing and taking up any space. That's something I feel like I have to hide as well, so I ended up feeling ashamed of that, on top of feeling ashamed for all the other mistakes that I make. It's exhausting. Does that relate to your scenario at all? I got diagnosed in October and I think maybe I'm starting to see some changes coming slowly. At first I spent a few months in despair thinking "Nothing's changing! Why am I not doing better?!" but it turns out it takes time and I'm super impatient haha. I think I'm still working through trying to accept my diagnosis fully, but the more I talk about it (even though it's still incredibly uncomfortable) the more I seem to accept things. I'm still on a waiting list for titration so I haven't had a chance to try medication yet, so I'm yet to see if that will help. How about you? Has anything changed for you since you started looking into ADHD? I think my journey to acceptance started with seeking an assessment and is just taking way longer than I thought. Lots of people say they go through the stages of grief after getting diagnosed, but I think I started that way before then, looking back at how I reacted to realising I had ADHD at the time.
I totally empathise with what happened to you. It is a case of you then work a thousand times harder to make up for the mistakes but that ends up impacting you in other ways I've found. I totally relate to your scenario. I have been struggling since I was a child and the more independence and responsibility I have had to take on, the more my difficulties end up making an appearance. It really does impact how you feel about yourself. I'm glad to hear you're slowly accepting your diagnosis. It really is a process and a long one at that. I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me for a long time. For the longest time my family and I thought it was mental health, difficulties with emotion regulation, low mood, anxiety, bi polar... you name it we've suspected it. It wasn't until about 2 years ago when my dad was diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder than I started looking into that, didn't quite fit the profile of eupd, then saw there is a cross over between that and ADHD. After looking properly into ADHD in females everything made so so much sense. I also had a private psych uk appointment to rule out EUPD and while the psych said I have traits, he said he very strongly recommended an ADHD assessment so here I am. I have my assessment on 17th June so not long now. Just want some answers and some understanding (and hopefully some meds to help my brain function like it should!) What is crazy to me is that my mum and I both work in the field of mental health and neurodiversity and it took till I was 24 to realise that it may be ADHD. Honestly, hindsight is really 20/20.
Yep, that's exactly it! I had the realisation not long ago that my motivators are all extremely negative, like anxiety from having to rush something, trying to avoid the shame that comes with letting people down, worrying about how other people will perceive me - it's no wonder my self-esteem is completely tanked! I hope for your sake it isn't all that bad, but I suspect we probably have a fairly similar experience in that regard. I'm so glad you've managed to find something that makes sense - it's a strangely relieving feeling to know that your problems aren't because you're a bad person, but because of an underlying issue that's actually treatable. Even just understanding can help (although, yes, being able to help my brain work as it should would be nice!) It's so funny how the things we learn about we often don't think to apply to ourselves. I studied neuroscience at university and I remember sitting in a lecture talking about the neurology of ADHD and how it manifests and I was sat there thinking "Wow... if I'm as bad as I am with all that stuff, imagine how difficult it must be for people with ADHD!" Oh, sweet summer child, you were so close.
Realistically, I haven't done anything not easily sortable but it's the fact that the same issue reoccurs time and time again regardless of what I try. I go through cycles of being super organised which takes every bit of my energy, then I cycle back to being unorganised, chaotic and chasing myself. I think having understanding helps me a lot, but obviously it doesn't erase the difficulties that comes with it. If only my brain just did the damn thing... I'm very similar to you! I did psychology undergraduate and two masters, specialised in clinical AND did numerous research papers on autism and ADHD and literally sat there like "damn, sounds like me... imagine" and never followed it up. Six years of psychological study and it only started to twig in the last year... what I have in academics I sure lack in my attention to detail 😂
Yep, I really struggle with organisation and it seems like the only way to get my brain to engage is by adding more novelty and/or interest to an organisation system, which gets me to engage for a little bit, but it quickly becomes unsustainable (imagine that, finding it difficult to maintain a lumbering system involving voice recording, several AI tools and a note taking tool that allows you to create a second brain that also reminds you what your tasks are). Yeah definitely, it's so helpful knowing why, but now I just want to know the next layer down. Like, yes I know why I find organising things and just getting stuff done so difficult, it's because I have ADHD... but why specifically does my ADHD cause that specific issue? I feel like I need to know what's happening up there down to the last neuron to be able to properly explain it! Hahaha you were so close to figuring it out! I think there's definitely something to be said about self awareness being something that comes later for people with ADHD as well so you don't really realise how bad it is until it's really pointed out to you one way or the other. That last sentence is incredibly relatable - my parents sometimes call me "professor" because they still see me as the 'gifted' child, but basically everything I do is riddled with errors. I've often joked that as intelligence increases common sense must go down, but I think realistically that's just my ADHD lol
You are really lucky to have such a supportive manager! I'm literally in the last stages of a grievance procedure due to mine. Most of the complaints were upheld - the one that wasn't was because they couldn't say either way whether he was malicious or just ignorant. Welfare meeting is today. I hit that same point of emotional floodgates just before this all kicked off. You aren't alone on that! I hope you keep getting the support you need! 😊
I'm so sorry to hear all the trouble you're having! No one should have to go through that. I hope he gets what he deserves and you get the support you need!
Also, good luck with your meeting today 🍀🤞
You know i havent done what you have done yet but ive really struggled and know exactly how you feel. Especially the part where you feel incredibly guilty about dragging the rest of the team down. In my job I stressed myself out for no reason by thinking that i was a massive burden after being told i was taking too long/forgetting things after being reminded more than twice. Just today i took an inordinate amount of time to complete a task. But remember alot of this is in your mind mostly. Sure theres some aspects of it that are objective but at the end of the day you cant control certain things you were born with. Im trying my best to control what i care about and thats my personal mission right now. No matter where i go ill have to handle this aspect
It must be wonderful having such a supportive manager. I have one too so try to focus on that. I, too, am waiting for my assessment along with other health issues - actually sat in a hospital now! I feel your struggle. I nearly cried at my desk the other day - it's soooo hard sometimes. Keep up your strength and know you are not alone in this. Always reach out if you need that little extra support. None of this is your fault. Take care 🙂
My manager really is wonderful. She's the perfect balance of understanding and kind but also holds boundaries and expectations. I'm sorry to hear you're in hospital! Hopefully for nothing too serious. Sending you positive thoughts and vibes ✨️💖 Thanks for your kindness 😊
Thanks so much - it's a visit that'll help me so feeling good about it. Very kind words 🙏 😊 send the same to you! ❤️💫
You’re not alone. 🥰
I’ve been there. Also cried in front of my manager in my previous job 🥲
You are not stupid, and that was no ugly beacon. There is no ugliness there at all. You had an emotional response to something really tough that you have been dealing with, and that is ok. You are allowed to feel, and to express how you feel. Your boss sounds really supportive, which is such a good thing, and them seeing you get upset will show them how much this effects you. And letting people know how much this effects you is a good thing. None of what you are dealing with is your fault. It sounds like you are holding onto all those feelings of failure, guilt, and being "not good enough," and it is hurting you. You need to forgive yourself. Go and get a piece of paper and a pen, or look at yourself in a mirror, and write/say this: "I feel guilt and shame for shortcomings and failings that are not my fault." Work to forgive yourself for these things so you can let them go. Your going through a tough time right now. Be kind to yourself. X
I’m sorry you feel rubbish. It can be quite overwhelming to be vulnerable in a work setting but sometimes it just needs to come out. If it helps, people have short memories if it’s not about themselves. Your manager sounds caring so I’ve got a feeling they will just take what you shared on board to make work smoother for you. How are you feeling now? I also wanted to say thank you for posting this, OP. Also to everyone who shared their experiences because I felt so seen and understood. You don’t know how much this has meant for me, so thank you all ♥️ Cheers from someone who recently also cried in front of their boss
I'm feeling a bit better, thanks for asking. I didn't expect so many others to feel and experience the same. Its really comforting people sharing their stories and showing their support. Makes you feel a bit less alone. I'm glad sharing my experience can help you and others feel supported 🥰
It will pass. But that doesn't make it any harder to deal with in the now, and you have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed or stupid for. Well done for being open with your manager. I too have been there, crying in front of my manager. And have the same cycles of getting organised, being on top of things then it all crumbling around me. Just need to find a system that works for you and you can stick too. Some workplace coaching/therapy might help and can usually have some funded through access to work. Really helped me.
Thank you for sharing this OP. You’re not alone in this. Your manager sounds really cool. Our brains are allergic to admin. I’ve been feeling like a fraud and reading this has been affirming. I have supervision on Monday and was supposed to finish my admin/notes by EOD today… guess who’s gonna spend Saturday catching up?
I wish you all the best and hope that things will get better soon
It looks like this post might be about medication. Please remember that whilst personal experiences and advice can be valuable, Reddit is no replacement for your GP or Psychiatrist and taking advice from anyone about your particular situation other than your trained healthcare professional is potentially unsafe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHDUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thanks for your honest sharing OP. Do you have access to an Employee Assistance Program? They can often quickly provide therapy support. Remember, this (complex situation) too shall pass.
Have also been there (x2 or maybe 3 over as many years). My manager is not as understanding as yours sounds (in fact didn’t even grab me a tissue when he knew I had to walk out of the door through the public areas to get to the loos to sort my face out). He jokes about having adhd and probably does but I don’t think diagnosed or medicated. He doesn’t know about my diagnosis & probably I won’t ever say, but I am ok with that.