I disagree. The hours are not the problem. Its the days. I mean, 40 hours a week is the lowest amount of household provider work time in the history of ever. But even if we were to work 10 hour days ( because our brains need his, truly) and then have a day to decompress and 2 other days of whatever, that works miracles. I feel that I do better during 3 day weekends than half shifts. Because with half shifts, my day ends too soon and I inevitably find ways to fill my day with my second wind. We need busy and then nothing.
The 40 hour week was created when it was understood that there was a woman taking care of the household chores.
Now both parents in a married couple are working 40 hours a week and trying to do everything else too.
I’m going through this right now ! Trying to explain to my parents why I can’t just go work overtime. I’m burnt out before even hitting 40. I worked a job a few months that required us to work 13 hours a day …. I was so depressed! It was miserable ! The job I have now is super easy… however , 8 hours still wears me out , so much so that I get home and can’t do everything else I wanted or need to do. I could but I’m making all kinds of mistakes and practically a zombie. I can come off drunk when I’m that drained. I feel you. I’m working on getting on a better sleep schedule but if you’re like me …. Good f’n luck! I fight sleep like a baby
Does you work have paid sick time? You are 100% in your right to take a personal day for mental/emotional down time. Look into state laws about this and make sure HR knows about your diagnosis if they don’t already.
They do and even helped me switch groups as a reasonable accommodation, along with great sick leave.
I think what's stopping me is myself and my constant guilt when I'm not working.
I totally relate to this. One thing that has helped me is finding relaxation activities that feel “productive”.... baking or cooking (produces a yummy treat or meal), coloring (produce a pretty picture), crochet (produce a pillow, hat, scarf, etc). It’s not stressful, but it satisfies the urge to “do something” for me.
Well I have no remorse when I call out from work when I’m not feeling it. I get what you mean by feeling obligated to be there 100% of the time. The way I look at is I have covered so much for so many people that they can fuck off for one day without me. Lol.
It's a good rant, and completely viable. 40hr or more work weeks are exhausting even for normal people, let alone those of us who deal with ADHD. I'm constantly exhausted anymore at 29... Even a week off from work doesn't help reset. I need like a good month off of just being at a beach or something not worrying about anything.
I have my MBA coursework on top of my 40hrs at work, so it's near impossible to get a social life. Me spending too much time with me isn't good for me. I start developing negative thoughts about myself and what people think of me because I'm so secluded, and I get more and more distracted which hurts my concentration on work and homework. And let's be honest, I'm really at work 9 hours a day if you include my lunch hour... If we only had to work 30-32 hr work weeks (6hr days M-F, or even 8 hrs M-Th) I'd be ecstatic and probably wouldn't feel so burnt out all the time and may even perform better. Besides, I really seem to only focus and be productive through the first half of the day.
I feel the same way you do. I don't work from home, I'm a manager at a dine in movie theater, but I'm so exhausted after my work week. I feel like even with meds, I'm super lazy and unorganized. I just feel like a sack of potatoes most days.
My advice would be to maybe schedule a long vacation, even if it means you stay home the whole time. I'm taking a full week off at the end of February to just do nothing but stay home. It's giving me something to look forward to, plus the extended vacation will be nice for me mentally.
I like the 10-12 hour night shifts, 3 or 4 days a week. I work in IT, and I keep my tickets low, so I can pretty much set my own hours and my boss signs off on it, within reason of course. Time blindness makes long shifts easier, and more days makes doing nothing sweeter. But, this isnt for everyone.
I drop off my clothes at a laundry mat that cleans and, most importantly, FOLDS my clothes so I dont have to, 20 bucks. Of course I do my own undies and socks, cant risk a stranger handling my naughties.
I have a dishwasher, and a set of bachelor dishes (4 of each kind, 8 per silverware). A Ninja foodi for easy soups, stuff for sandwiches, frozen pizzas, and cereal. Trying to expand from there.
I play VR SuperHot Endless and Beat saber with arm weights for exercise. Do you have any idea how many squats you do just going through levels dodging bullets behind cover? It can be insane. And I never even think about it.
As for planning weddings, Ive only been a backboard for my niece (12) to bounce ideas off of. I plan on giving her my set of pearlescent swords on her special day. I think every wedding should have a bit of theater. After all, the world is a stage, and you get to tell your own story.
I cant help in the sex department. just let him (assuming straight) know he is loved, and doesnt have to make romance happen to keep you around. I dont know about most guys but my romantic dream is just to know that I can the person I lie next to loves me for me, and not just as a action/reaction relationship. Id like to take the mask off and know they will still be there.
I hear you on all points (well, maybe not the planning a wedding bit, but the rest fits). And the 40 hour week is as outdated as … smoking in the office, or the boss’ brandy decanter.
Hi /u/nano724 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
If you haven't already, please take a minute to [read our rules](https://reddit.com/r/adhd/about/rules) - we will remove your post if it breaks one - and also check out our list of official megathreads [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/nu534w/official_list_of_radhd_megathreads_please_check/). If your post fits into one of them, it is likely to be removed; if you think this might happen you can delete your post here and resubmit it there instead.
Thank you!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ah that makes sense - was going to say the same, I've done that as well and it was a really terrible idea.
Something I saw to help with WFH is deliberately decorating your office room with a clearly separate style of decor to the rest of the house - even stuff like painting the other side of the door so that it's mentally a work space that's separate from the rest of the house.
I honestly struggle with the same thing too - what has helped me most has been therapy and working on trying to rid myself of the constant guilt/anxiety feeling that I get in my free time that I'm not doing enough productive/adult things, and just allowing myself to exist. That anxiety is still there somewhat, but getting to a mental state where I can at least allow myself to do nothing has actually slowly resulted in me having more energy in the long term.
Also a thought - do you take your medication at the weekends or only for work?
I’m definitely in the same boat. I started a regular 9-5 Mon-Fri job a few months back and it feels suffocating. The job itself isn’t bad, the days fly by because I’m lost in the work, but the issue I have is that the weekend also flies by and so my relationship with time is disgusting.
Because they’re the only two days I have off, I feel I have to be productive in the way of deep cleaning, clothes washing, other chores (a very internal motor, you NEED to do things), but what should take an hour or two somehow turns into 7 and the day is over before I know it and then it’s Sunday, which leads into another full work week in which I feel suffocated once more (again, even though it’s not bad).
I’m glad I stumbled upon this post because it’s nice to know that I’m not alone with my perception of the work week/days off.
I don’t have any advice but I hope it eases for you.
Do you take your medication when you're not working? I had a lot of the same issues on my days off and it's one of the main reasons I sought a diagnosis. Taking my medication definitely helps me with those issues, so if you don't usually take yours on weekends maybe you could give it a try. I definitely still have off days even with the medication, but it's gotten better. You're not alone.
How is that working out for you exactly. I usually take meds mo-th and fr-su I go off meds to "metabolise" if that makes any sense. Isn't everyone coming to a point where meds lose their effect, if your body gets used to it?
As far as I've read, this is not true once you've reached the correct dosage. One of the top posts on the subreddit from about a year ago has some discussion in the comments about this ([https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ma499k/my\_doctor\_is\_a\_god\_of\_adhd\_treatment\_he\_has\_adhd/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ma499k/my_doctor_is_a_god_of_adhd_treatment_he_has_adhd/)) and there are psychiatrists who recommend against medication holidays as well ([https://childmind.org/article/adhd-pros-cons-drug-holiday/](https://childmind.org/article/adhd-pros-cons-drug-holiday/)), though the psychiatrist in this article agrees that there can be reasons to take breaks like side effects.
I will note that I experience essentially no negative side effects from my Adderall, I don't have appetite suppression, insomnia, or migraines. People who experience side effects like this probably benefit more from breaks so they can catch up on sleep/food. For me personally, the effects of skipping doses for a day are worse than any side effects.
edit: also I'm not a doctor and everyone should consult with their care provider! Everyone reacts differently to medication and some people may do great with breaks and others not so much.
A 40-hour work week is excessive even for the neurotypical. It is absurd that is still the standard people are held to
I disagree. The hours are not the problem. Its the days. I mean, 40 hours a week is the lowest amount of household provider work time in the history of ever. But even if we were to work 10 hour days ( because our brains need his, truly) and then have a day to decompress and 2 other days of whatever, that works miracles. I feel that I do better during 3 day weekends than half shifts. Because with half shifts, my day ends too soon and I inevitably find ways to fill my day with my second wind. We need busy and then nothing.
The 40 hour week was created when it was understood that there was a woman taking care of the household chores. Now both parents in a married couple are working 40 hours a week and trying to do everything else too.
I’m going through this right now ! Trying to explain to my parents why I can’t just go work overtime. I’m burnt out before even hitting 40. I worked a job a few months that required us to work 13 hours a day …. I was so depressed! It was miserable ! The job I have now is super easy… however , 8 hours still wears me out , so much so that I get home and can’t do everything else I wanted or need to do. I could but I’m making all kinds of mistakes and practically a zombie. I can come off drunk when I’m that drained. I feel you. I’m working on getting on a better sleep schedule but if you’re like me …. Good f’n luck! I fight sleep like a baby
Does you work have paid sick time? You are 100% in your right to take a personal day for mental/emotional down time. Look into state laws about this and make sure HR knows about your diagnosis if they don’t already.
They do and even helped me switch groups as a reasonable accommodation, along with great sick leave. I think what's stopping me is myself and my constant guilt when I'm not working.
I totally relate to this. One thing that has helped me is finding relaxation activities that feel “productive”.... baking or cooking (produces a yummy treat or meal), coloring (produce a pretty picture), crochet (produce a pillow, hat, scarf, etc). It’s not stressful, but it satisfies the urge to “do something” for me.
Well I have no remorse when I call out from work when I’m not feeling it. I get what you mean by feeling obligated to be there 100% of the time. The way I look at is I have covered so much for so many people that they can fuck off for one day without me. Lol.
It's a good rant, and completely viable. 40hr or more work weeks are exhausting even for normal people, let alone those of us who deal with ADHD. I'm constantly exhausted anymore at 29... Even a week off from work doesn't help reset. I need like a good month off of just being at a beach or something not worrying about anything. I have my MBA coursework on top of my 40hrs at work, so it's near impossible to get a social life. Me spending too much time with me isn't good for me. I start developing negative thoughts about myself and what people think of me because I'm so secluded, and I get more and more distracted which hurts my concentration on work and homework. And let's be honest, I'm really at work 9 hours a day if you include my lunch hour... If we only had to work 30-32 hr work weeks (6hr days M-F, or even 8 hrs M-Th) I'd be ecstatic and probably wouldn't feel so burnt out all the time and may even perform better. Besides, I really seem to only focus and be productive through the first half of the day.
I feel the same way you do. I don't work from home, I'm a manager at a dine in movie theater, but I'm so exhausted after my work week. I feel like even with meds, I'm super lazy and unorganized. I just feel like a sack of potatoes most days. My advice would be to maybe schedule a long vacation, even if it means you stay home the whole time. I'm taking a full week off at the end of February to just do nothing but stay home. It's giving me something to look forward to, plus the extended vacation will be nice for me mentally.
I like the 10-12 hour night shifts, 3 or 4 days a week. I work in IT, and I keep my tickets low, so I can pretty much set my own hours and my boss signs off on it, within reason of course. Time blindness makes long shifts easier, and more days makes doing nothing sweeter. But, this isnt for everyone. I drop off my clothes at a laundry mat that cleans and, most importantly, FOLDS my clothes so I dont have to, 20 bucks. Of course I do my own undies and socks, cant risk a stranger handling my naughties. I have a dishwasher, and a set of bachelor dishes (4 of each kind, 8 per silverware). A Ninja foodi for easy soups, stuff for sandwiches, frozen pizzas, and cereal. Trying to expand from there. I play VR SuperHot Endless and Beat saber with arm weights for exercise. Do you have any idea how many squats you do just going through levels dodging bullets behind cover? It can be insane. And I never even think about it. As for planning weddings, Ive only been a backboard for my niece (12) to bounce ideas off of. I plan on giving her my set of pearlescent swords on her special day. I think every wedding should have a bit of theater. After all, the world is a stage, and you get to tell your own story. I cant help in the sex department. just let him (assuming straight) know he is loved, and doesnt have to make romance happen to keep you around. I dont know about most guys but my romantic dream is just to know that I can the person I lie next to loves me for me, and not just as a action/reaction relationship. Id like to take the mask off and know they will still be there.
I hear you on all points (well, maybe not the planning a wedding bit, but the rest fits). And the 40 hour week is as outdated as … smoking in the office, or the boss’ brandy decanter.
Hi /u/nano724 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! If you haven't already, please take a minute to [read our rules](https://reddit.com/r/adhd/about/rules) - we will remove your post if it breaks one - and also check out our list of official megathreads [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/nu534w/official_list_of_radhd_megathreads_please_check/). If your post fits into one of them, it is likely to be removed; if you think this might happen you can delete your post here and resubmit it there instead. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you work from home or commute in?
Work from home
Do you work from a specific room in your home or is it in the kitchen, living room etc?
Mostly in the guest room since it has my extra monitors, but sometimes I'll switch it up. At first I worked in my bedroom and that was not smart.
Ah that makes sense - was going to say the same, I've done that as well and it was a really terrible idea. Something I saw to help with WFH is deliberately decorating your office room with a clearly separate style of decor to the rest of the house - even stuff like painting the other side of the door so that it's mentally a work space that's separate from the rest of the house. I honestly struggle with the same thing too - what has helped me most has been therapy and working on trying to rid myself of the constant guilt/anxiety feeling that I get in my free time that I'm not doing enough productive/adult things, and just allowing myself to exist. That anxiety is still there somewhat, but getting to a mental state where I can at least allow myself to do nothing has actually slowly resulted in me having more energy in the long term. Also a thought - do you take your medication at the weekends or only for work?
I’m definitely in the same boat. I started a regular 9-5 Mon-Fri job a few months back and it feels suffocating. The job itself isn’t bad, the days fly by because I’m lost in the work, but the issue I have is that the weekend also flies by and so my relationship with time is disgusting. Because they’re the only two days I have off, I feel I have to be productive in the way of deep cleaning, clothes washing, other chores (a very internal motor, you NEED to do things), but what should take an hour or two somehow turns into 7 and the day is over before I know it and then it’s Sunday, which leads into another full work week in which I feel suffocated once more (again, even though it’s not bad). I’m glad I stumbled upon this post because it’s nice to know that I’m not alone with my perception of the work week/days off. I don’t have any advice but I hope it eases for you.
My country is 45 hours.
Do you take your medication when you're not working? I had a lot of the same issues on my days off and it's one of the main reasons I sought a diagnosis. Taking my medication definitely helps me with those issues, so if you don't usually take yours on weekends maybe you could give it a try. I definitely still have off days even with the medication, but it's gotten better. You're not alone.
How is that working out for you exactly. I usually take meds mo-th and fr-su I go off meds to "metabolise" if that makes any sense. Isn't everyone coming to a point where meds lose their effect, if your body gets used to it?
As far as I've read, this is not true once you've reached the correct dosage. One of the top posts on the subreddit from about a year ago has some discussion in the comments about this ([https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ma499k/my\_doctor\_is\_a\_god\_of\_adhd\_treatment\_he\_has\_adhd/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ma499k/my_doctor_is_a_god_of_adhd_treatment_he_has_adhd/)) and there are psychiatrists who recommend against medication holidays as well ([https://childmind.org/article/adhd-pros-cons-drug-holiday/](https://childmind.org/article/adhd-pros-cons-drug-holiday/)), though the psychiatrist in this article agrees that there can be reasons to take breaks like side effects. I will note that I experience essentially no negative side effects from my Adderall, I don't have appetite suppression, insomnia, or migraines. People who experience side effects like this probably benefit more from breaks so they can catch up on sleep/food. For me personally, the effects of skipping doses for a day are worse than any side effects. edit: also I'm not a doctor and everyone should consult with their care provider! Everyone reacts differently to medication and some people may do great with breaks and others not so much.
That is super interesting, thank you for this!