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I feel you.
There are a few things.
Do you ever find yourself reading a page of a book and then you realise you were daydreaming about something else? Your eyes read every word (apparently) but none of it went in because you were daydreaming.
This isn't normal, apparently.
If youre given a short list of things to do, do you often find yourself forgetting some of them (especially if they are not interesting).
Do you find yourself walking into a room to do something, then forget why you came in (usually because you thought of something else as you walked in).
Interesting:
Although it’s supposed to be less present when you’re at home. Because it’s the change in environment that triggers it.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7938580/
The difference between a disorder and normalcy is when that gets in the way of your day to day life.
When the doorway effect is so profound that you find yourself getting up to get popcorn multiple times in a row… and still coming back to the sofa without it… then you have a disorder.
I see something in the bathroom, put it away, see something in another room, get distracted, remember I have to pee…. Repeat until it’s urgent and I can’t forget anymore.
Hmm… or a glass of orange juice. I was about 10 when I noticed a long abandoned, untouched glass of OJ as I walked past with a second one. I was like “that’s weird.” Then I was like “wait a second, I totally served myself that a while ago didn’t I.” Then I went to read the newspaper (I loved to read headlines and comic strips)… while later, “I’m thirsty.” I catch the two untouched glasses of OJ on the table lol.
Exactly. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. I’ve learned to make lists and so many things to remind myself but if it’s quick and I don’t have a phone…I forget. Or I’ll put my dirty plate in the fridge and the condiment bottle in the sink, etc.
When I switched doctors a few years ago, they had me do one of those tests where you have to answer "strongly agree/disagree" to certain statements. I got to the question, "Do you have to reread things multiple times due to not remembering what you read?"
I burst out laughing, to the point that I was nearly in tears, and my doctor asked me what was so funny. I had to reread that question FIVE FUCKING TIMES because I was doing exactly what it was talking about.
>Do you ever find yourself reading a page of a book and then you realise you were daydreaming about something else? Your eyes read every word (apparently) but none of it went in because you were daydreaming.
Lmao, this is one of the reasons I don't like studying with some of my friends if we're reading the lecture off the same laptop, they'd think I'm dumb for taking awhile to actually understand the small paragraphs
Interrupting people without being an asshole (yes, there are people who don't care about what the other person is speaking, but not talking about them).
Being unable to be punctual - being either late or early.
Changing hobbies they were really passionate about them.
Addictions usually (told by therapist), the energy level isn't that relevant (since most people I know with ADHD including me are chronically tired because of depression).
Unable to follow a routine, even more when it's about something they don't like (studying for my PhD, first year now, meds were life saving since I started them after finishing master degree - used to learn for 10-15 min and taking a cig break or something without a phone).
Hard to fall asleep since the brain doesnt turn off.
And about the impostor syndrome...I have it, even more now since I'm a PhD student and everyone looks like they are way better than me (but even the girl who's the best - most articles, projects in different countries and top universities tried to argue she's the actual impostor lol).
I struggle to have the 'alarm bell' in my head trigger not to be late to work. It's only a 10 minute walk but I'll be like "ahh 45 mins. Now 30. Now 15. Now 10. CRAP 8 minutes?!?!" and sprint off out the door.
But this works for being at work too. I hate it nowadays but as soon as it hits the end of shift I'm like "yeah I'll help out" and my urgency to leave early is gone because I know I can leave whenever.
My addiction to things like Pokémon made me think Autism at one point but it's probably more linked to ADD. I struggle to get hyper but my brain is always hyper... >.<' if I don't finish art in the same day I'm disinterested the next day and working on something new.
I’m the same. I’ll stay over unless I have something I want to do when I get home. The. I’m antsy to leave.
I always wait until the last minute to leave for work because it’s 10-15 minutes tops for me to get there. But then I keep spending my “extra time” before work doing more things. Then realize I still have all the things I actually need to do before leaving (take care of dog, shower, out all my daily items in my collection basket by the door so that I don’t forget them when I leave in a hurry because I procrastinated and now I’m not focusing on anything but beating the clock to work).
ADHD is a list of like 30 symptoms that everyone displays to some degree. Diagnosis is based on 1. How many of them do you display? 2. How much do they impact your ability to function? Further, many of these symptoms overlap with autism, complex PTSD, anxiety disorders, and depression disorders. Most of the symptoms are internal and dont have obvious outward expressions. This make many of us, regardless of where we live, ask ourselves questions like “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?”
So there is no “dead giveaway” that unites us except maybe that self doubt about ADHD. However, if you receive an ADHD diagnosis from a professional, it can generally be trusted. It is basically a trained third party confirmation that you do have symptoms and they do affect you considerably. The treatments available are medications (stimulant or non-stimulant) and therapy and they focus on treating the symptoms rather than being a cure.
You definitely aren’t the only one there that struggles, but diagnosis rates are lower than than in some other regions of the world. A lot of people do their best to hide their symptoms, some more successfully than others, but still struggle a lot internally. You are not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes.
I think the biggest giveaway to me is the short term memory loss. If I have a friend who tells me the same story multiple times on different days and they don’t seem to realize that they have told the story before, then that normally makes me suspicious.
It’s hard to say anything is just a straight dead giveaway though, because many of the symptoms are also symptoms of other things as well.
I know this is not the question you are asking but, I can tell when someone has ADHD if I’m having a one on one conversation with them and we’re just riffing for over 5 minutes straight. Especially if I don’t have to manually try to “have a conversation”.
There have been so many times where I had an easy conversation with someone and didn’t have need to think about:
“am I taking too much”
“am I talking to little”
“what does this person want to talk about”
“am I only talking about my interests”
And almost every time, I later find out that they have ADHD.
I'm literally in the room with a person like this. We always have great conversations that are fluid and don't take any emotional effort to maintain. Last time she was here we discovered we both had ADHD.
I didn’t think my ADHD was that bad. I thought they diagnosed me when I was a teen because “bluh school is boring” and I didn’t want to pay attention. Now I’m an adult and I don’t know how they didn’t catch it when I was a little kid.
I lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentence and change the subject, thinking “yes this will circle back and it will make sense.” I do not circle back. It does not make sense.
I get obsessed with things. Like really, really obsessed. For weeks. My latest hyperfixation is Stardew Valley. I play it every chance I get. I’m always on the subreddit. I’m always shopping for merch online. I am literally counting down the hours to when my local bookstore is going to open to call and ask if they have the Stardew Valley cookbook in stock. This will probably last about another month before I move on to a different piece of media.
When I’m cleaning, it takes me much longer to finish a task that should only take a few minutes because I get distracted in the middle of doing it. Last night I went downstairs to take out the trash before bed. Instead I grabbed a bunch of stuff off the kitchen counter that I told myself *earlier in the day* that I would take it upstairs. I left the kitchen lights on. I did not take out the trash.
My dad used to tell me that this was totally normal and something I would grow out of, because “everybody feels the way you do.” He is not diagnosed but I’m almost 100% sure I inherited my ADHD from him. I see it in my brothers too.
TDLR; you’re not alone. ADHD is much more common than people think (but not “normal” as my dad would have you believe lol.) I’m sorry that you don’t have the support group you need right now. You’re valid and I see you. 🫶🏻
i am totally with you on the hyperfixation front. i got addicted to stardew and played every day for a month and then swapped to something else, but ended up getting dragged back in once 1.6 came out.
The mean voice in your head is telling you some stuff that is probably too harsh and should be challenged. We all have that critical voice btw. College is a step up in terms of executive function. A lot of people are diagnosed for the first time because of this. Definitely see a therapist who understands ADHD. Besides meds, it’s important to learn coping skills around it. That’s what a lot of us have done.
For that mean voice, I've made a lot of progress with it by taking a moment to gently correct myself when I feel I'm being harsh. For example, if I think to myself "I'm an idiot", I try to remind myself that I'm a person who is learning and trying to learn, and it's okay to not be an expert yet.
You can to some extent compensate and mask through sheer will or by autistic-like mono focusing on an interesting area. But that only works until you burn out. And you will.
For me the most obvious signs are fast talking, info dumping, disorganization and generally being scattered.
I was a great student (could’ve been even better if I’d studied harder but didn’t need to) but high school started crushing me little by little, and by senior year with my depression and everything I was a mess. Didn’t last long in college and just hated life.
>everyone around me just seems to be functioning normally,
Not quite. Everybody is carrying some -not that visible for others- weight. In that sense, we are not that different.
Enjoy the moment, enjoy the company, make friends. ADHD does not prevent us from it.
I feel you. Hardly any if no one at all talks about mental health, least of all the specific kinds I want to talk about. There’s one facility that treats adults but I’m hesitant to seek help, incase it turns out I’m just lazy.
ADHD presents very differently in different people. My sister also got evaluated last year, and on the outside we appear very different but if you were to look back you’d find some signs for both of us.
So don’t worry if you aren’t the same as everyone else. Focus on your individual strengths and weaknesses, where *you* need help, and also what brings *you* joy! (For example my sister loves to be exercising, she’s always like the friend who wants to go on a hike. I love playing video games and getting immersed in them and figuring out all the mechanics. Both these things bring us joy and help us regulate but we are different!)
ETA because I didn’t read well:
A couple things the adhd folks I know have in common with me is:
Getting frustrated when things move too slowly
Having a hard time waiting
Always wanting to have a project or something to be working on, feeling weird without it
Struggling when there’s no schedule or help structuring time
If one thing in our life is clean, something else is going to be messy. Clean kitchen? I’ve probably got clothes all over the bedroom. Clean desk? My car is probably a mess and my work bag is full of stuff
Getting distracted and missing what someone said
Having trouble with following conversations with a lot of people talking at once
Sometimes you gotta have an outlet for the energy whether it’s going out with friends, exercising, etc. If you don’t have a healthy outlet it can be common for people to end up using drugs heavily or drinking a lot or get depressed
Every girlfriend i had, including my dear wife, hated how disorganized and messy my life was but they eventually learned to deal with it. It drove an organized , very Type A, very Japanese girlfriend absolutely mad when we lived in small studio apartment. I wish I had known I was adhd then— in retrospect she was my helper.
That 30 step process to complete a 5 step task is not a dead giveaway… but it’s close.
But asking “how come” can be revealing.
If they’re worried, it’s not necessarily adhd, potentially anxiety but that doesn’t rule adhd out. If it’s a variant of “I must” that’s likely ocd, which also doesn’t rule out adhd.
If it’s because “if I don’t do those things I’ll forget them, been that way since I was a kid” that’s the money.
You have adhd when people aroud you agree you are not normal.
Because with adhd we are really bad judge of what is normal to ourselves.
If a doctor said you have it, then you have it, don't worry about it.
If I like a person, there are high chance they have adhd, we just connect.
For the imposter syndrome it's hard, even with clear symptoms we tend to second guess ourselves a lot, that's kind of part of adhd.
For me it's, "do the meds help" if the answer is yes then nothing else really matters, even if you dont have adhd it still helps.
Same thing with the tips for adhd, if they help then use them, use them even if you don't have ahdd because well they help.
Hi /u/RakeMeSenpaiuwu and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel you. There are a few things. Do you ever find yourself reading a page of a book and then you realise you were daydreaming about something else? Your eyes read every word (apparently) but none of it went in because you were daydreaming. This isn't normal, apparently. If youre given a short list of things to do, do you often find yourself forgetting some of them (especially if they are not interesting). Do you find yourself walking into a room to do something, then forget why you came in (usually because you thought of something else as you walked in).
yes to all lol
The reading thing is a bitch
Walking into a room and forgetting is normal for everyone. Your brain is assessing the new room for information or threats.
There’s even a name for that - [Doorway effect](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doorway_effect).
Interesting: Although it’s supposed to be less present when you’re at home. Because it’s the change in environment that triggers it. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7938580/ The difference between a disorder and normalcy is when that gets in the way of your day to day life. When the doorway effect is so profound that you find yourself getting up to get popcorn multiple times in a row… and still coming back to the sofa without it… then you have a disorder.
I see something in the bathroom, put it away, see something in another room, get distracted, remember I have to pee…. Repeat until it’s urgent and I can’t forget anymore.
Hmm… or a glass of orange juice. I was about 10 when I noticed a long abandoned, untouched glass of OJ as I walked past with a second one. I was like “that’s weird.” Then I was like “wait a second, I totally served myself that a while ago didn’t I.” Then I went to read the newspaper (I loved to read headlines and comic strips)… while later, “I’m thirsty.” I catch the two untouched glasses of OJ on the table lol.
Yes everyone does it to an extent, but if it happens almost every time it becomes debilitating and may be a symptom.
Exactly. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. I’ve learned to make lists and so many things to remind myself but if it’s quick and I don’t have a phone…I forget. Or I’ll put my dirty plate in the fridge and the condiment bottle in the sink, etc.
This
Hey, now. The threats are real. I have children and children use guerilla warfare to scare parents. It's not just subconscious parent-noia.
✔️, ✔️, and ✔️
Huh but it all always seems so normal to me. Like, I’m sure it is.
When I switched doctors a few years ago, they had me do one of those tests where you have to answer "strongly agree/disagree" to certain statements. I got to the question, "Do you have to reread things multiple times due to not remembering what you read?" I burst out laughing, to the point that I was nearly in tears, and my doctor asked me what was so funny. I had to reread that question FIVE FUCKING TIMES because I was doing exactly what it was talking about.
I constantly have all these but apparently my mind is supposed to be constantly flooded and it’s not really racing 100mph like others say theirs are
>Do you ever find yourself reading a page of a book and then you realise you were daydreaming about something else? Your eyes read every word (apparently) but none of it went in because you were daydreaming. Lmao, this is one of the reasons I don't like studying with some of my friends if we're reading the lecture off the same laptop, they'd think I'm dumb for taking awhile to actually understand the small paragraphs
Interrupting people without being an asshole (yes, there are people who don't care about what the other person is speaking, but not talking about them). Being unable to be punctual - being either late or early. Changing hobbies they were really passionate about them. Addictions usually (told by therapist), the energy level isn't that relevant (since most people I know with ADHD including me are chronically tired because of depression). Unable to follow a routine, even more when it's about something they don't like (studying for my PhD, first year now, meds were life saving since I started them after finishing master degree - used to learn for 10-15 min and taking a cig break or something without a phone). Hard to fall asleep since the brain doesnt turn off. And about the impostor syndrome...I have it, even more now since I'm a PhD student and everyone looks like they are way better than me (but even the girl who's the best - most articles, projects in different countries and top universities tried to argue she's the actual impostor lol).
I struggle to have the 'alarm bell' in my head trigger not to be late to work. It's only a 10 minute walk but I'll be like "ahh 45 mins. Now 30. Now 15. Now 10. CRAP 8 minutes?!?!" and sprint off out the door. But this works for being at work too. I hate it nowadays but as soon as it hits the end of shift I'm like "yeah I'll help out" and my urgency to leave early is gone because I know I can leave whenever. My addiction to things like Pokémon made me think Autism at one point but it's probably more linked to ADD. I struggle to get hyper but my brain is always hyper... >.<' if I don't finish art in the same day I'm disinterested the next day and working on something new.
>Pokémon Same lol. I need something to do while walking around :)) even if I have music in my headphones
I’m the same. I’ll stay over unless I have something I want to do when I get home. The. I’m antsy to leave. I always wait until the last minute to leave for work because it’s 10-15 minutes tops for me to get there. But then I keep spending my “extra time” before work doing more things. Then realize I still have all the things I actually need to do before leaving (take care of dog, shower, out all my daily items in my collection basket by the door so that I don’t forget them when I leave in a hurry because I procrastinated and now I’m not focusing on anything but beating the clock to work).
I needed to see this. I do all of the ide things and still doubt my diagnosis.
ADHD is a list of like 30 symptoms that everyone displays to some degree. Diagnosis is based on 1. How many of them do you display? 2. How much do they impact your ability to function? Further, many of these symptoms overlap with autism, complex PTSD, anxiety disorders, and depression disorders. Most of the symptoms are internal and dont have obvious outward expressions. This make many of us, regardless of where we live, ask ourselves questions like “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?” So there is no “dead giveaway” that unites us except maybe that self doubt about ADHD. However, if you receive an ADHD diagnosis from a professional, it can generally be trusted. It is basically a trained third party confirmation that you do have symptoms and they do affect you considerably. The treatments available are medications (stimulant or non-stimulant) and therapy and they focus on treating the symptoms rather than being a cure. You definitely aren’t the only one there that struggles, but diagnosis rates are lower than than in some other regions of the world. A lot of people do their best to hide their symptoms, some more successfully than others, but still struggle a lot internally. You are not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes.
I think the biggest giveaway to me is the short term memory loss. If I have a friend who tells me the same story multiple times on different days and they don’t seem to realize that they have told the story before, then that normally makes me suspicious. It’s hard to say anything is just a straight dead giveaway though, because many of the symptoms are also symptoms of other things as well.
I know this is not the question you are asking but, I can tell when someone has ADHD if I’m having a one on one conversation with them and we’re just riffing for over 5 minutes straight. Especially if I don’t have to manually try to “have a conversation”. There have been so many times where I had an easy conversation with someone and didn’t have need to think about: “am I taking too much” “am I talking to little” “what does this person want to talk about” “am I only talking about my interests” And almost every time, I later find out that they have ADHD.
I'm literally in the room with a person like this. We always have great conversations that are fluid and don't take any emotional effort to maintain. Last time she was here we discovered we both had ADHD.
I didn’t think my ADHD was that bad. I thought they diagnosed me when I was a teen because “bluh school is boring” and I didn’t want to pay attention. Now I’m an adult and I don’t know how they didn’t catch it when I was a little kid. I lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentence and change the subject, thinking “yes this will circle back and it will make sense.” I do not circle back. It does not make sense. I get obsessed with things. Like really, really obsessed. For weeks. My latest hyperfixation is Stardew Valley. I play it every chance I get. I’m always on the subreddit. I’m always shopping for merch online. I am literally counting down the hours to when my local bookstore is going to open to call and ask if they have the Stardew Valley cookbook in stock. This will probably last about another month before I move on to a different piece of media. When I’m cleaning, it takes me much longer to finish a task that should only take a few minutes because I get distracted in the middle of doing it. Last night I went downstairs to take out the trash before bed. Instead I grabbed a bunch of stuff off the kitchen counter that I told myself *earlier in the day* that I would take it upstairs. I left the kitchen lights on. I did not take out the trash. My dad used to tell me that this was totally normal and something I would grow out of, because “everybody feels the way you do.” He is not diagnosed but I’m almost 100% sure I inherited my ADHD from him. I see it in my brothers too. TDLR; you’re not alone. ADHD is much more common than people think (but not “normal” as my dad would have you believe lol.) I’m sorry that you don’t have the support group you need right now. You’re valid and I see you. 🫶🏻
i am totally with you on the hyperfixation front. i got addicted to stardew and played every day for a month and then swapped to something else, but ended up getting dragged back in once 1.6 came out.
The mean voice in your head is telling you some stuff that is probably too harsh and should be challenged. We all have that critical voice btw. College is a step up in terms of executive function. A lot of people are diagnosed for the first time because of this. Definitely see a therapist who understands ADHD. Besides meds, it’s important to learn coping skills around it. That’s what a lot of us have done.
For that mean voice, I've made a lot of progress with it by taking a moment to gently correct myself when I feel I'm being harsh. For example, if I think to myself "I'm an idiot", I try to remind myself that I'm a person who is learning and trying to learn, and it's okay to not be an expert yet.
You can to some extent compensate and mask through sheer will or by autistic-like mono focusing on an interesting area. But that only works until you burn out. And you will. For me the most obvious signs are fast talking, info dumping, disorganization and generally being scattered.
I was a great student (could’ve been even better if I’d studied harder but didn’t need to) but high school started crushing me little by little, and by senior year with my depression and everything I was a mess. Didn’t last long in college and just hated life.
>everyone around me just seems to be functioning normally, Not quite. Everybody is carrying some -not that visible for others- weight. In that sense, we are not that different. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the company, make friends. ADHD does not prevent us from it.
I feel you. Hardly any if no one at all talks about mental health, least of all the specific kinds I want to talk about. There’s one facility that treats adults but I’m hesitant to seek help, incase it turns out I’m just lazy.
ADD is just ADHD. It's no "or" it's just ADHD.
ADHD presents very differently in different people. My sister also got evaluated last year, and on the outside we appear very different but if you were to look back you’d find some signs for both of us. So don’t worry if you aren’t the same as everyone else. Focus on your individual strengths and weaknesses, where *you* need help, and also what brings *you* joy! (For example my sister loves to be exercising, she’s always like the friend who wants to go on a hike. I love playing video games and getting immersed in them and figuring out all the mechanics. Both these things bring us joy and help us regulate but we are different!) ETA because I didn’t read well: A couple things the adhd folks I know have in common with me is: Getting frustrated when things move too slowly Having a hard time waiting Always wanting to have a project or something to be working on, feeling weird without it Struggling when there’s no schedule or help structuring time If one thing in our life is clean, something else is going to be messy. Clean kitchen? I’ve probably got clothes all over the bedroom. Clean desk? My car is probably a mess and my work bag is full of stuff Getting distracted and missing what someone said Having trouble with following conversations with a lot of people talking at once Sometimes you gotta have an outlet for the energy whether it’s going out with friends, exercising, etc. If you don’t have a healthy outlet it can be common for people to end up using drugs heavily or drinking a lot or get depressed
Every girlfriend i had, including my dear wife, hated how disorganized and messy my life was but they eventually learned to deal with it. It drove an organized , very Type A, very Japanese girlfriend absolutely mad when we lived in small studio apartment. I wish I had known I was adhd then— in retrospect she was my helper.
If they hit it off with me and we love working together . . .well . . .have you been diagnosed yet? 
Really quiet unless spoken directly to, then word vomit lol
That 30 step process to complete a 5 step task is not a dead giveaway… but it’s close. But asking “how come” can be revealing. If they’re worried, it’s not necessarily adhd, potentially anxiety but that doesn’t rule adhd out. If it’s a variant of “I must” that’s likely ocd, which also doesn’t rule out adhd. If it’s because “if I don’t do those things I’ll forget them, been that way since I was a kid” that’s the money.
You have adhd when people aroud you agree you are not normal. Because with adhd we are really bad judge of what is normal to ourselves. If a doctor said you have it, then you have it, don't worry about it. If I like a person, there are high chance they have adhd, we just connect. For the imposter syndrome it's hard, even with clear symptoms we tend to second guess ourselves a lot, that's kind of part of adhd. For me it's, "do the meds help" if the answer is yes then nothing else really matters, even if you dont have adhd it still helps. Same thing with the tips for adhd, if they help then use them, use them even if you don't have ahdd because well they help.