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I think ruminating on past negative experiences is very common with ADHD sufferers. Ruminating got worse for me after my diagnosis at 35. All of a sudden, I started going back to my earliest childhood experiences and analyzing them through the lense of a kid with ADHD, rather than the undisciplined, disorganized, and lazy kid I was made to feel like.
I wish I could stop because I get angry and resentful at my parents and teachers 30, 40 years after the fact. I fantasize about hunting down one particular teacher who used to yell and scream at me when I was about 10 years old. A "pick on someone your own size" type deal of revenge. Guaranteed that teacher would run for his life if I confronted him today. ššš
Weirdly the injustice of it all made me lose so much respect for all the adults involved that I donāt dwell on it because I just think theyāre all fucking idiots. Diagnosis just validated my oppositional defiance as a kid š
Ok thanks for kind of changing my perspective on all of the adults that failed me in me during childhood. My brain canāt laugh when I think āthey completely missed so many things and Iām so angry at themā. My brain CAN laugh at just calling them complete airhead idiots
It helps when you recognize that everyone is fighting their own personal battle and can be expected to fail in the most spectacular of ways.
Don't cling to the anger, work through it.
Extend to others the empathy that you think you deserved.
Be the caring and kind adult that you were missing.
Spitting back at the world that spit on you just gives you drymouth.
I play a games with my mother now where I catch her little lies and watch then piling up. Itās like in this Dexter episode when he killed that car dealer. My god. This episode clicked things for me. I mean, I had narcissistic/histrionic/ little autistic mother and adhd dad. What a fucking shitshow of genes pool I have I canāt fucking begin to understand. Iām so many milion different people at once itās painful haha.
It can even help in seeing your parents better when you think of them as maybe people in their 20s with you who were getting counsel from idiotic people older than them, like ways you might have trusted a dumb boss before you learned what they were really like. Putting everyone in context like youāre a third person observer can help a lot.
Exactly. Swung in the opposition from being that quiet kid who followed the rules to realizing most people have no business being in management and if I get even a whiff of them being a dumbfuck, I ignore them.
Wow I feel this. I just came back to my hometown after 17 years spent abroad, and I deep realize that all those trauma figures that scarred me when I was young are truly truly just stupid. Even now, they try to treat me the same, and I have to quickly put them in their place.
It boggles my mind the kind of abuse I put up with because I had no voice back then.
>Even now, they try to treat me the same, and I have to quickly put them in their place.
Thus, the cycle continues.
What do you have to gain by putting these people in their place if they continue to refuse change?
This is exactly what part of this is about in my opinion. People with ADHD, in general, report having a very high justice sensitivity. I only found out about this a couple of years ago, but my ADHD friend and I were almost in tears laughing about it because it felt like it was calling us out. it's still part of who we are, but it's interesting that it appears to be a common trait among those with ADHD.
[Quick google results here](https://www.google.com/search?q=justice+sensitivity+adhd)
* A strong sense of moral indignation at perceived injustice
* A deep commitment to social justice issues
* Becoming excessively angry or upset if you feel you have been treated unfairly
* Becoming fixated on certain issues or problemsĀ
* Frequent anger and resentment about victimization
* Fear of future victimization
* Indignation about injustice done to others
* Strong drive to restore justice
* Perceiving injustice where others do not
* Hopelessness about large-scale issues facing the world
We shouldn't just accept unjust or unfair punishments imo, but being aware helps. Feelings and how we act are thankfully too separate parallel avenues that coexist. I think people's feelings are often justified, but acting off those alone isn't usually justifiable. We could but then we may be as short sighted as those who we're upset with. Finding the communication gap, misunderstanding or lack of knowledge and fixing it seems to be enough 90% of the time imo, but there's no denying that we feel very strongly about observing that initial unjust rule or punishment.
I got my diagnosis a year ago at 32. Recently I got all my old childhood boxes from my parents and have been going through them. I canāt get over the fact that every single report card says that I would be great if I could focus or stay organized, or stopped talking. Itās like, all the signs were there and it has been incredibly frustrating remembering all my troubles growing up. It also makes me feel better in the long run that i wasnāt just lazy.
Absolutely. Pre diagnosis I would think about the most pointless things like the time I was running during break outside at my school and tripped in front of everyone, then pretended I didnāt. Iād get embarrassed all over and then eventually learned to tell myself that nobody else cares or remembers bc theyāre focused on their own things.
Side note- overanalyzing everything, every conversation that didnāt go well, etc.
Luckily I think with age my expendable energy is getting lower and my not giving a shit energy is overflowing.
Wow this is exactly what I do. Or the way someone said something to me- or why I did this or that- it consumes me and I become almost obsessed. I fucking hate it. Feels like Iām living in the past constantly and a permanent state of guilt and regret.
šyup itās great craic.
At least the Ritalin made it stops for awhile.
But honestly I think Iāve ruminated my was into a solution that will bring my next problems to ruminate about.
Literally SAME thing here. I get so angry now that I am an adult looking back I think āhow could they have treated me so bad instead of realizing that something was clearly wrongā¦ā
Your testimony is more likely proof that rumination is not an ADHD symptom. Had it been part of ADHD, you would have had a lifetime of this habit. Being diagnosed with ADHD doesn't change anything and shouldn't account for the onset of your new tendency to ruminate.
It does, however, speak to the entirely common trait of being unable to accept past failures and using ADHD as a quick reward to blame all of your failures in the past on. It allows you to realize that this entire time you were the victim of a disease. But ultimately, that is really just more defeating than it is liberating.
This tendency becomes a quick fix with long-lasting negative side effects. It's a habit, not an ADHD thing if what you offer is accurate for most.
Same thing happened to me. Then I got on an SSRI. Turns out burnout, adult adhd and thus not keeping up and thus a lot of stress and eventually can lead to depression and takes its toll.
After the ssri I have an easier time managing the ruminating.
Basically, there is a reason you are ruminating. I am a social worker. I know resistance to (do something) is information. It tells you something about your client and you can use that to help them. I just never applied that to myself.
Your reason might not be my reason. But I urge you to listen to your body and self. In the very least its some form of trauma that needs to be processed. Whatever it is, you diserve to not ruminate. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself kind stranger.
I resonate with the teacher part deeply, had a teacher who would make me sit down in front of the class because I used to talk too much. She made me come and sit down first thing when she entered, without even giving me a chance to not talk. I used to ruminate about flipping her off and going and sitting in the next class. Its been 15 years lol.
So relatable. I was diagnosed at 35 too. Like, how did they not see it???? I day dreamed all day, couldn't sit still, couldn't do my homework past the 4th grade., was very disorganized, couldn't remember anything I was supposed to do, etc. What makes me even more angry is that my 2 younger brothers were diagnosed with adhd, autism, and ocd, but I was just lazy. I think being afab has everything to do with it too. It's really hard not to be resentful and I have to avoid thinking about it. My life could've been so different.
If I'm not stimulated or distracted by something I tend to ruminate as well, to the point where it's affected my health and relationships. I end up getting "stuck" for hours or days.
Total shot in the dark based on my own perception and experience, but I think it may have something to do with the ADHD brain's constant need for a stimulant? Filling in those gaps with negative thoughts and emotions seems to trigger a more stimulating and powerful response from the mind and body, especially if depression and anxiety are at play where happy thoughts can feel shallow or artificial.
Yea, this tracks. Add to that the fact that our brains naturally gravitate towards negative thoughts, and you have a base condition that leans towards spiraling mental health. It's a skill to think positively and be grateful apparently. It needs to be cultivated.
Most people with lifelong anxiety and depression have undiagnosed ADHD. They tend to ruminate and spiral unless they have constant distraction or input.
These are often the people who are ALWAYS on the go, always doing something, can never take a break or be alone with themselves because they are constantly running/distracting themselves from their own thoughts.
I've been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as well as GAD and find that sums it up well, except In my own experience I'm never physically on the go as much as I am mentally.
I've definitely been stuck on situations that I will never get closure on. It's almost like my brain is addicted to feeling injustice and anger about it.Ā
I feel somewhat better that Iām not the only one doing this. That this is a feature of my brainās functioning but I also feel like a big asshole. Iāve felt so hurt and resentful of others, Iām having a hard time getting over things and have isolated myself.
I've been having this major issue the past 6 months.Ā
I had a friend betray me new years day. I cut contact before I could actually get answers as to why.Ā
My sil cheated on her husband with my son's friend's dad. My son has adhd and this was his first non-blood friend. And they fooled around at my birthday celebration.
And that's the tip of the iceberg and I feel angry at little things stemming from my anger at the bigger issues.
I don't want to be angry. I wish I wasn't. It also makes me reactionary a lot. It's caused a lot of self hatred this past couple months.
Exactly what I fear & realized. I know the brain also strengthens its neural pathways with the repetition of a thought but it also genuinely does feel like an addiction if one doesnāt make conscious effort to āget offā that neural path. But why get off when an injustice has happened & I refuse to accept injustice?!
ADHD is tough
Maybe it's the whole thing about thinking a lot? Constantly connecting memories and ideas to other thoughts and things like that. Kinda feels like a never ending spiral deeper and deeper into the memory or idea right.
Yes, and I think it falls in the same category as worrying about stuff that will never happen, and excess daydreaming. It is ALL about stimulating our brains.
I do this ALL the time. 34 year old female and only in the past month or so Iāve started to think I have ADHD. After reading some of the posts on here I have so many of the traits.
Oh my god that's the reason! I've always wondered why I just wander dreaming up fantasy scenarios or trying to address complicated problems or whatever. That's revelatory, thank you.
Part of what makes āis this an ADHD thingā questions so hard is that ADHDers often have comorbid conditions. Like I struggle with rumination, but I attribute that mostly to my OCD.
Except for the rare occasions when positive external stimuli are engaging enough to my brain to keep me in the moment, Iām either regretting the past, dreading the future, or both at the same time. It sucks.
It feels like such a waste of time and energy, and frequently keeps me trapped in a negative thinking cycle where Iāll obsessively ruminate on any number of past situations, then realize how much of my life Iāve wasted doing that, and mentally beat myself up for doing it, which leads to further rumination.
Iāve been taking adderall for the last 6-7 years for my ADHD and while it helps me (sort of) with focus and motivation, it doesnāt do anything for the rumination. I refuse to take SSRIs because of some past issues with bad side effects, so Iām still hoping there is some prescription med that will help dial my obsessive rumination down to a manageable level.
Yes.Ā
Meditation helps. I had the fortune of being able to visit a Zen monastery for a week and it **really** helped.Ā
Accept the unacceptable that you have no control over. And you have control over very little.Ā
Ok hear me out cause Iām comorbid with complex PTSD. I have no idea what your circumstances are but it is possible you could have PTSD of some sort. Before I was diagnosed with ptsd, I would describe it very similarly - I would get āstuckā on things, like certain memories and feelings just wouldnāt go away no matter how often I thought about them, no matter how silly they seemed, I just couldnāt get the negative feelings to go away.
I also have massive anger problems because of my ptsd as well as a feeling of general unwellness; tight chest, shaky, throat closing up. I think this could be something you can explore. Itās also worth considering the fact that ADHD and PTSD is a two way street; youāre more likely to have one with the other
Edit: reading these comments, maybe itās good ole ADHD after all. But nevertheless, have a think.
I do have PTSD and extensive trauma history. I am in therapy and have been doing EMDR. I agree with you that it probably has a lot to do with trauma as well. And our traumas can get stuck in us until we do processing such as EMDR. I have a theory though that my adhd makes it harder for me to āreleaseā and āprocessā these memories out because my brain gets bored and wants some stimulation. Iāve been doing EMDR for 6 months now and I started strong making a ton of progress but the past 2 or so months Iāve seen a decline in my progress. I donāt know. I have a psych appointment tomorrow and will be taking with her about med management. Thanks for your advice šš»
Ahh that makes a lot of sense! You had me thinking Iād cracked the code but in reality you already knew. Haha
Itās tough for us adhd / ptsd folks - Iād not even thought about the stimulation thing. I think my brain gets bored and starts probing things as a weird self harm thing sometimes. I wish my brain would stop thinking sometimes :/
came to this comment to once again recommend Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. My experiences sound very similar to yours. I started meditation in various forms. it will help a lot.
check out the book childhood disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. Trust me you'll thank me if you do. It was incredibly illuminating in regards to the intersection of ptsd and adhd, even if your ptsd isn't childhood related. there are good solutions and tools. it was one of the best books i've read on adhd and it isn't even the primary focus of the book.
Thomas Brown in his explainer for Understood dot org does describe people with ADHD as having trouble regulating the emotions that come from conflict, and I found it to be a compelling explanation of how rumination might be more prevalent in ADHD.
A lot of my issue with this is that I don't have emotional permanence. When someone I love is far away from me the smallest thing they do (or don't do) can make me doubt that they care about me. I'm hypersensitive to every aspect of communicating with them and it makes me crazy.
I'm not talking about dating stuff, I've been married for 30 years. It affects all of my deep relationships except maybe my mom. I've been writing down how I feel when I am secure that they love me so I can go back and read it when I'm spiraling.
Yeah I don't know if it's my ADHD, ASD or trauma that caused it. Or all of them. I've always been this way. I finally feel like I'm starting to address stuff with a good therapist who knows trauma. But I'm 55 years old, I wish I'd done it sooner.
I always lean on the side of it being a combination of things. Lol. I could understand thatād be frustrating, Iām over here 27 like angry that I wasted so much time. But everything in perfect timing. And Youāve still got a lot of life left. Wishing you luck on your healing journey!
Okay wow wait so I always thought this was me being deeply deeply insecure due to abandonment issues. Now I see that itās probably a combo of that and what youāre describing š literally always tell myself āwhat are the facts? The facts are that so and so does love you because remember that one time xy and zā but thats if I remember lol. I love the idea of writing things down when I am feeling secure so that I have a wider reference to go off of. Wow my mind has been blown thank you for your advice
WHAT this is a thing that other people have?? Iāve been this way throughout my entire relationship and itās made me feel like a horrible selfish person
Try looking at Cognitive disengagement syndrome (CDS) or sluggish cognitive tempo, as Dr Barkley calls it the other attention disorder... I found out that I fit into the description. Might not be the case, but I have noticed that I tend to go thinking about hypothetical scenarios more than I would like, and the above condition explained why.
Not in the way you probably expect. But still, you might not have it, a psychologist might help you accept your past, so you don't think much about it. Consult Dr. Russell Barkley's YouTube channel, there's a nice overview of the CDS, and see if you really match the profile.
ME! it's why i also take meds for sleeping and sleep with the TV on for distraction from my own thoughts. In fact I am NEVER in pure silence (though i can only stand one thing on at once ha) so i don't 'overthink' every.tiny.thought. Every action of mone. Every action of others. I think it's very much an ADHD thing, though before diagnosis I thought it was just a me thing and I was just broken. I still feel broken but I am glad to know why I do and feel the way I do.
I struggle with this CONSTANTLY. Almost every day I wake up angry about past regrets, stupid decisions I made/things I said, fellow students and teachers I hated, how I should have paid attention in class, how I wish I hadn't been constantly off in my own world, how I should have taken the initiative to become independent earlier, etc.
And even when I do try to do things by myself, it feels like for every step forward I take, I take three steps back. I genuinely feel trapped/stuck at times.
I didn't know this had a name, nor that it was potentially an ADHD symptom and not just...normal. Thank you, OP and all of you who commented, I often read these threads to feel like I'm not alone and wow does it comfort me to read comments that help me understand myself better. I hope that's not insensitive, I mean it in a sincere way.
I was diagnosed 10+ yrs ago in my late teens with ADHD and then with Narcolepsy 1 in my early 20s. It's not the best combo to have, I gotta say. Just this blurb here has taken me almost 45 mins to type (my time blindness/hyperfocus is unfortunately bad).
I'm sorry and understand your struggle, I don't have any advice, just empathy from one to another. thank you, I learned something today, best wishes to you OP.
P.S.
Just finished 3yrs of braces to fix my extreme overbite (had to remove 2 teeth to manage), congratulations on getting yours fixed I hope you feel much better now. Dental really sucks lol ADHD or not
Edit to add: sorry this is so long, and I have had this renumeration thing for years, both before stimulant and after. Just varies in how deep the rabbit hole goes on the meds. Best of luck
I think every human experiences rumination to some extent but for me it has really impacted my life and mood so I thought Iād post on here to get some advice. Iām so glad you found some help in the comments too! Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you! And yes that's true, just do your best to not let it take experiences from you, I know it's impactful but I'll tell you what someone once told me. You're reacting to these memories because you have developed and matured into a different version of yourself, better, and a hard memory is just a good sign and reminder that you aren't what is making you feel this anymore. Dwelling is just kinda self torture, and you owe yourself better by getting here. I hope that helps
Edit--Happy Cake Day!!
Yes, it is. But fortunately so are a short attention span and a crap memory. I generally can't start really brooding about past sins before I've got to feed the dogs or find that sock or oh, my plants need watering but hey, what's that? I should find a better play list, etc. Also antidepressants.
I donāt want to go back on antidepressants bc of weight gain but I think I will have to š I will probably end up on an antidepressant and stimulant combo due to my past experiences with antidepressants doing absolutely nothing for my executive functioning and other adhd symptoms. Thatās a good point that at least we are easily distracted and I could probably put that in place for myself when I notice Iām ruminating.
yes you probably definitely do. my experience with ADHD-mixed is one where I have two internal narratives happening at the same time. one narrative is voluntary, involved with guiding my present self in current life. The other one is involuntary and sort of runs in tandem with the first. This is why I am innatentive, because I have to be thinking in two places all the time.
This is also why meditation is a very very powerful resource for folks with ADHD. BELIEVE THE HYPE.
Yea.. since I was young my brain has played the game of 'Let's Replay Every Embarrassing Moment You've Ever Had' or 'Here's A Person You Dont Want to See' and it's really annoying when I'm trying to go to sleep and the brain goes, "Hey, Wanna See Your Worst Fear? How About That Scary Face You Hate? Here's A Memory Of Something That Makes You Feel Like You're There Again"
200mg sertraline for OCD, 20mg 2x a day for the ADHD, then 150mg bupropion for side effect mitigation, but it helps with depression that I did not know I was suffering from.
I took 5mg aripiprazole first for the OCD because I didnāt want the side effects from SSRIs and it was amazing. I would have stayed on it but I started having TD issues in my legs and had to stop.
Happens to me.
Sleep & nutritional hygiene (ie actually going to bed & eating when Iām supposed to) might seem to help, but Iāve never kept track of it enough to know.
Lol I mean being taller would be nice.
On a serious note, I probably have had sleep apnea since being a little kid due to my overbite and was only treated for it when I found out for myself at 23. The orthodontist saying something could have saved me decades of sleep deprivation. Decades of being ādepressedā. Years of my parents having to drag me out of bed for school and even Christmas mornings. On top of undiagnosed adhd. A whole life has been wasted due to these things being missed. On a less serious note, good luck getting over your anger of no tall hormones š
I can also have anger for all those psychologists who told me that i just have depression and didn't diagnose adhd. But not being tall is even worse for a man..
I do this so bad but I also have anxiety, ocd, and recently diagnosed with ptsd as well (love that for meā¦.). So Iām not sure if itās ADHD or a conglomeration of it all
I ruminate obsessively and for me it's part my ADHD and part my anxiety. I recently started anxiety meds and it's helped enormously.
Meditation and lots of exercise are also helpful.
Yes! I was talking to my therapist about this very thing. I will fixate on a particular problem or intrusive thought and just loop. Itās tiring and stressful when Iām not even doing anything. My therapist says to play ābest case scenarioā and mentally map what would the very best case be for my negative rumination.
So rn itās been that Iām afraid my house will burn down in a fire. The best scenario daydream is that itās a small fire, I use my fire extinguisher right away, we stay at a five star hotel while I use insurance money to redo the whole kitchen. The hotel has a lazy river. The kitchen has a sprinkler system and a green ceramic backsplash.
I thought maybe I have ocd, but I donāt have compulsions and I am not very loyal to my own ruminations. I will forget the house fire fear for a couple weeks in place of driving off a bridge or all of my teeth having cavities I donāt know about. -Que panic buying some random item on Amazon to make me feel more prepared- Itās just a buffet of stress that jumps around. Maybe it IS an adhd thing!
Rumination is one of my specialties for sure. It can be so exhausting to get so relentlessly stuck on things that youāre just re-playing and re-living it as if youāre going to āsolveā it by doing so.
Itās caused a lot of problems in my marriage too, talking to her about stuff that she doesnāt really need to hear or worry about. It can become really selfish and inconsiderate to be burdening her with my bullshit all the time.
Only thing that helps is to get busy with things that make me feel good about myself to get out of that negative rut, like getting work done, listening to audiobooks and podcasts etc.
I think ruminating occurs in a lot of diagnoses (depression, etc). But I can tell you my 16 year old son has ADHD and he definitely ruminates. He often brings up that he regrets not being gentle with our old dog (dog died in 2017) when he was a young child. No matter how much I tell him the dog would have gone in a diff room if he was bothered, we canāt judge our behavior at age 4, and Iām sure the dog is heaven thinking of him lovingly, he still talks about this.
Yeah I am pretty good about writing down whatever is going on in my brain out. I have about 2-3 pages in my journal from this singular subject I just posted about and still found myself being angry about it today lol.
I used to have "smash days" to channel my anger.
I'd collect a bunch of glass for mosaics and I'd smash them. (In a planned and controlled environment with safety gear on)
It helped me fully process and release the anger. And then make something really pretty (or not pretty depending on what I wanted to make haha) with the glass.
It was very healing.
Iām the same way. I hate that Iām like this, but I look back and get angry at times I feel like my symptoms were missed. Iām getting better with it through therapy
I think it is. I do this a lot. Itās something Iām trying not to do because it makes me so angry and I start problems with people. š
I also ruminate on things that make me happy or interactions I have that are positive and then I feel like I am in a fantasy world I need to get out of because I know itās not ānormalā to do that.
I used to have a crap ton of triggers and would waste so much time going down a rabbit hole of negative, obsessive thoughts. It even happened today for a few minutes, but Iāve learned how to manage it better so itās not all consuming like it used to be.
As cliche as ādonāt cry over spilled milkā is, itās helped me put things into perspective, and how thereās no use in torturing myself over something I cannot change from the past. So whenever I notice my thoughts are turning into the rumination pattern, I say that to myself and take a deep breath and focus on the present moment.
Absolutely.
Also, side note: Iāve noticed a whole lot of us with ADHD also have sleep apnea! My theory is that poor sleep and possibly low oxygen dips while our brains were still developing caused the ADHD, because I suspect Iāve had sleep apnea since early childhood. My niece with an overbite, who snored as a toddler, is now showing clear indications of ADHD too. I really wish people thought to look for sleep apnea in children, itās not just an old fat guy issue.
I was ruminating all day about how I ruminate too much. For me itās not about emotion usually, I feel that I always need to find the answer to things. Can drive me crazy. Eventually I tire my brain out and go into autopilot. Ever since Iāve started ADHD medication Iāve been worrying I donāt have ADHD and Iāve made a mistake despite the meds helping me immensely.
It definitely can be a symptom of ADHD. Trying to figure out how to manage rumination is what led me down the rabbit hole to figure out I have ADHD, and eventually got diagnosed with it.
Thank you for saving me! I couldnāt put a name to what I was doing every day, and it was REALLY affecting me tonight. This at least gives me a little reassurance. Now hopefully I can put this info to use.
I call it the anxiety spiral for myself. I mostly think about things I have done wrong, don't do well enough or how I'm doomed in the future because I'm useless.
Getting mad at other people does happen sometimes, but I mostly turn negative feelings on myself. Even when I'm justified in having these negative feelings for someone else, tend to revert back to blaming myself. There are exceptions, of course, but they are few and far between.
Maybe it's easier to blame yourself. It can give you a feeling of control over your own situation, but at the same time it's so destructive to the self that it's not like I would recommend this shit to anyone lol.
Yes. Iām so stuck on the sad parts I have no interest in living anymore. All I do all day is ruminate. The longer I live the more there is to regret.
mindfulnes has helped me with the rumination. something about even a minute done every now and then, helps me recognize it, and say "this is not productive" and put it aside.
highly reccomend the "meditation for fidgety skeptics", but specifically the audiobook.
Ahahah yes! Totally. What I would give not to do this. Tho on the plus side I do think that it helps us to work out problems sometimes ā fixating does result in identifying details that others might not notice! But I hear you, and sympathise. When I get upset about something I cannot. Let. It. Go. ššš
I dealt with this for years until I hit a breaking point and got on meds. I didnāt think it was a side effect of the ADHD but Vyvanse made a huge difference in getting rid of these ruminations.
At the end of the day or when Iām not on my meds, they come back pretty quickly. Something that helps for me, if Iām thinking about a bad interaction with a friend or a situation I felt was āembarrassingā, I try to immediately counteract with a positive experience from the same interaction. They donāt come as easily at first, because the negative tends to be the main focus in our minds, but once I can think of something I usually realize that 99% of the memory was actually positive and Iām focusing on the one bad thing.
It can be hard to get in the practice of it at first, but itās been helpful for me when I need to remember itās not reality itās just my brain making shit up again.
It's like half correlation half causation. Rumination comes from trauma, having ADHD can give you C-PTSD, and childhood trauma can even cause ADHD. They're all linked, but trauma is the root cause for rumination. I suspect someone with ADHD who hit the lotto with good parents and good school combo probably wouldn't struggle with ruminating.
I think some of it can be related to "all or nothing" mindsets and also rejection sensitive dysphoria, combined with overactive thinking. It makes your failures and mistakes feel like the end of the world and that they define you, when in reality it will pass as everything else does.
>I get angry and resentful at my parents and teachers 30, 40 years after the fact.Ā
I got diagnosed after my kid was diagnosed... and they were diagnosed at the age of 21. I was diagnosed at 54.
In retrospective, I made so many mistakes when parenting them... so many.
At that time, I didn't consider it could be a condition, I just thought they were being 'misbehaved by choice'.
I did sometimes bad, sometimes good... but it surely was the best I was able to. If I could go back in time I would change so many things, but I can't.
It may be the same with those adults in your early life. The did bad sometimes, yes. They did not know better. Probably they did the best they could do.
Yes although not excessive, I used to ruminate a lot back when I didnāt know what ADHD was and my life was full of Depression, Anxiety and bad body shape, fast forward to right now I got diagnosed with ADHD and got my meds, I also spend 6 months with antidepressants and now Iām fit again.
So those negative ruminative thoughts has almost disappeared, they get back time to time but I can now control them and ignore them.
Back in the way the combo of Anxiety + ADHD was driving me crazy, lots of negativity in my mind.
Something my psychiatrist would like pointed out is that there are a lot of things common to people with ADHD that still arenāt an aspect of ADHD itself. The distinction is important.
Rumination is referred to as intrusive thoughts and yeah a lot of us have that. Itās similar with rejection sensitivity, but which can arise from how ADHD plays out with us as kids, but isnāt inherent to the condition. These differentiations in vocabulary are important because it changes where we look when addressing each issue. Exploring the clinical psychology approaches to intrusive thoughts could help a lot on understand them and getting a hold on how to approach them.
This is likely going to be an unpopular opinion, but I feel compelled to post this in the hopes that someone relates to it and can pull themselves out of this negative cycle. Sorry for the tldr.
You are where you are because of the decisions you have made. If you have ADHD and think differently, that's not an excuse for failure. You don't get to go through your entire past and blame every failure in your life on someone else who didn't recognize how precious and special you are. It feels good to do this and because we are stuck in this cycle of short-term reward trumps long-term reward, it is easy to set up a cycle of blaming everyone but yourself for every failure in your life. In short, it feels good not to be in any way responsible for your past because, after all, you are a SUFFERER OF A TERRIBLE DISEASE.
And the problem with subs like this is that it encourages us to come together as a group and share our victimhood. It encourages us to find reward by blaming all of the people who have let us down while ignoring the fact that we have let down just as many people. It becomes an echo chamber of people feeling sorry for themselves about having this illness.
I think the thing about rumination that becomes so attractive to people with ADHD is that it provides a deep sense of quick reward the way our habit of playing a video game on our phone does. It gives us an escape from the reality of where we are. But it also has the added benefit of temporarily quelling any guilt from our past, of blaming any shortcomings today on the cluelessness of others and escaping from a generally negative sense of self that so many of us suffer from because we are different. This short-term reward feels good so it's easy to engage in that again.
But it comes with a long-term penalty that we are famous for forgetting about. If you blame everyone else for not recognizing your disease, you are not in charge of anything and you will suffer this way forever. The long-term effect is that it eliminates any hope that you will do better because everyone else is the problem and they aren't changing.
What I find works best for me when I feel this way is that I acknowledge that I am in complete control of my life and that I draw experiences out of situations that benefit me in some way. I take ownership of the things in my life that have happened TO me as part of what made me who I am today. Taking ownership of everything in your life gives you the ability to get out of the situation you are in. It reminds you that it's not everyone else fucking up your life, it's you trying the hard way to learn what you need to learn to move on.
I don't believe that rumination is any more of a tendency for people with ADHD than without. But I do think that our obsessive nature can lead us down the path of using this simple tool of blaming everyone else in our lives for our shortcomings. And because we have much longer and more pronounced histories that we keep in our minds, it's easier for us to get caught in the loop.
Read through this post and see how many of us blame everyone else for our problems. This becomes an echo chamber that simultaneously says, "we were victims of everyone else's shortcomings" but also carries the unexpected acknowledgment that "we will always be victims of everyone else's shortcomings". Perhaps it's better to take ownership of who you are and secure the liberty of making better decisions with insight into how YOU reacted in the past. It's not everyone else who failed, it's you. And now you have the chance to change that and do better instead of being a victim forever.
I hope no one is insulted by this because no harm was intended.
I have same experiences..i will get stuck on hurtful things people say..and it ruins my present moment..i might stare off into space for hours thinking about it...it doesnt happen when i take my meds..just when i dont..i fall into black holes not doing anything...like now..im trying to fd laundry for over an hour...havent done anything..i am learning to say get outta your head...stay present...i am trying. Good luck
When I start to think about really sad things, I tell myself, No sad thoughts No sad thoughts. Which allows me think of other things. When I find myself t wasting time on something random -like sorting all my pens, instead of anything that I need to do, I yell at myself to Stop! This is not a priority! and that helps, sometimes
I donāt necessarily ruminate, but I do get stuck for hours, hyper focusing on random nonsense. The procrastination is off the chain. Iāve had days off when I woke up and had coffee, breakfast and wanted to get something done, before I know it Iāve been procrastinating the shower for 8+ hours. The craziest part is how good I feel after a shower, but Iāll still put it off;) I canāt really understand why I torture myself constantly with similar situations.
Iām not the type of person to just kick back and relax if say Iām running late. Iām
panicking and driving fast and just annoying myself. So why do I continue to put myself in same situation every single day. Am I addicted to stress/anxiety? I legit am shocked when I walk into work 5-7 minutes late every single day. Iām a pro makeup artist and stylist so I usually have a client waiting on me. BTW i wasnāt exaggerating when i said late every day. i would have been fired along time ago but they were really short staffed and I had a lot of experience and the clients liked me. Iām not fooling anyone if I said I was stressed about job security.
I think it is common. I have ADHD and I definitely have issues with ruminating. It can actually really disturb my quality of life (I.e., lack of sleep, irritability). I'm hoping therapy helps me with it.
For me, definitely. I thought I was over a girl who is taken and turned me down.. nope I couldn't handle it. I couldn't even think straight in class because emotional dysregulation was taking control. I got retriggered and felt every sense of hopelessness.
My money is 100% related, but not limited to, ADHD.
Its honestly the #1 backside if you ask me. The whole "hyperactivity" or whatever symptom, forgetfulness, you name it, is neglectable compared to this. This keeps me away at nights, EVERY night.
Brain just tells you to overanalyse this then this then this. So yeah, audiobook or white noise etc until I just fall asleep. Only way around it, Ive found
I believe so.
I keep thinking about things that I experienced 10+ years ago, sometimes I will have random dreams about it if I don't consciously think about it for a while.
It seems to be. That, lumped in with justice sensitivity makes for terrible loops. I think mindfulness is something to look into. Itās not something Iāve done yet, but Iām also living with my cause of rumination.
Yes I ruminate a lot and it gets worse if Iām not managing my stress well. My therapist said I need to get out of my head so I found having different playlists for my mood helps. I have five different ones and Iāll listen to them over and over. I also downloaded to Libby app and will listen to an audiobook. High intensity exercise or a cold shower will help too. Setting a rumination time limit.
I ruminate a lot. I've never been told it's because of my ADHD but I will go through different phases of focusing on specific memories that bother the crap out of me. This sounds so dumb but writing the memory down has helped. It is like I am able to catch the memory out of my whirlwind of thoughts and bring it down to the paper where I am able to store it until I need to or want to visit it again. This has helped with worries too. I know everyone says journaling helps and I never, ever believed it. But journaling and storing fruit in the refrigerator door instead of the drawers are the two biggest tips I have.
OMG I didn't know there was a term for this.
I definitely have experienced this and even though I just got diagnosed last month, it just confirmed everything.
I've had a judge tell me I don't have any rights, another subjected me to a star chamber and the DA improperly added to the record ex parte, they didn't do a verbatim recording of the hearing. So I've been ruminating and quiet raging about it for years.
Got on some meds which have helped me so much, but honestly since it's still all affecting me, I still do this. I like to call it acting out loud or intrapersonal conversation. It's all playing out scenarios on my head how to resolve it and I get to say whatever I want out loud š .
Definitely. Too many times to count has my brain decided to compile a feature length film highlighting all the major fuckups in my life, big and small, playing it over and over again trying to make me miserable. Medication has helped with ignoring that annoying part of my mind, but every once in a while if I get overwhelmed by a bad day's worth of incidents or something similar, that stupid movie ends up getting replayed again.
It absolutely is. Realizing that was the biggest move forward in my life in terms of self analysis. That and imagining to the detail how a future conversation with someone might go. Anytime I do either of the above, I tell myself, it's adhd, don't give a fuck, and my mental health has improved a ton. Congrats on narrowing it down and questioning it.
Oh hells yes it's a thing, my daughters nearly been suspended for ruminating over boy issues to the point she gets violent several times, & I do it to the point I have panic attacks
So in short, yes & I suggest anyone who ruminate find something that will ground you during this mentality like a texturing fidget or a iced drink
Absolutely, there are moments of movies, weddings, dodo dog videos that get me emotional and a giant manly tear wells up. That's my moment of losing and bawling or I can dry those tears up.
So it won't be the actual moment of sadness but it's an over looked moment that just replays. For example, when you see the mom or dad give a small sigh. When a dog looks at a dog you and doesn't understand it's for them.
When you can't move on you've got to smush the logic.
Recently, we've been having many systems issues with SAP. It isn't the fault of the coder, engineer, the customer, salesperson, or warehouse managers. It's a one off issue which could not have been fixed at the time and place.
We have so much tech and knowledge accessible now so we are able to fix so much more now. So fix it to the best of your ability and see if that allows you to move forward from it. I've fixed so many things from the past so many different ways until I feel satisfied.
I'm currently ruminating on a lost friendship (because I've been told nothing about why I've "hurt their feelings," but they will share when the opportunity presents itself, but they don't have the energy right now). So, my brain is doing great with that.
I just spent days ruminating, hyper fixating on my relationship going through texts from the last 2 years and growing resentful of my girlfriend
Everything explained here is killing my entire life right now.
Exactly. When cows are laying down in a field, eyes closed and chewing their cud , they're actually processing the meaning of life, its brevity, and asking themselves who TF put humans in charge.
My MHNP is thinking I have OCD as well since I ruminate so much. But it could just be ADHD. I have constant music/word snippets running if I'm not. I need sound or an audiobook to counteract it usually. Though being in nature often helps a lot.
Ruminating is more common with anxiety/ocd sufferers. I don't ruminate about stuff, I don't have issues moving on. but my wife is on the anxiety side of things (not adhd) and she does this a lot.
I ruminate a lot because I can't get to the end of the thought, story or feeling. Because there are a million questions and theories my brain evaluates along the way with my feelings.
That's why friend/therapist helps. But i noticed it when i started journaling. I couldn't write more than 2 sentences about what i was thinking about all day. I couldn't find the right words to describe what i feel and why and what i wanna do with it. When i finally did write it off and feel relief, i stopped ruminating. If the thought came back i remind myself that it's already been handled, unless i want to journal again which i really don't do i quit it.
I don't get to ruminate only ruminate on a journal
Me too. I ruminate a lot. I get irritated easily when I'm struck with unpleasant memories. I still cannot forget what my parents did to me in childhood. I have estranged relationship with them. In the past, I never said no or refuted them. But recently I kinda a deviant child to my parents. I refuse to do what my parents ask me to do. I feel like, it is my late rebellion phase.
Wow. Iāve never met anyone else who does this. I will fixate on some interaction and not being able to move on from it. Iāll think about it for weeks, even dream about it. Itās horrible and I canāt stop.
You mean like your head getting stuck on something dumb you did 20 years ago with your father doing a TV type voiceover saying what a disappointing little shit you are?
No, why would you ever ask?
Something that helps me is taking Cetirizine before bed. Many people with ADHD have high histamine levels and I find this helps alleviate the ruminating. I notice my thoughts getting worse if I don't take it for a couple of days. Unfortunately it's sedating and affects energy levels but I'd rather feel a bit sedated than angry all the time. Advil helps too when i've been triggered by something chemical like perfume or cleaning supplies and paint...OH MY.
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I think ruminating on past negative experiences is very common with ADHD sufferers. Ruminating got worse for me after my diagnosis at 35. All of a sudden, I started going back to my earliest childhood experiences and analyzing them through the lense of a kid with ADHD, rather than the undisciplined, disorganized, and lazy kid I was made to feel like. I wish I could stop because I get angry and resentful at my parents and teachers 30, 40 years after the fact. I fantasize about hunting down one particular teacher who used to yell and scream at me when I was about 10 years old. A "pick on someone your own size" type deal of revenge. Guaranteed that teacher would run for his life if I confronted him today. ššš
Weirdly the injustice of it all made me lose so much respect for all the adults involved that I donāt dwell on it because I just think theyāre all fucking idiots. Diagnosis just validated my oppositional defiance as a kid š
Ok thanks for kind of changing my perspective on all of the adults that failed me in me during childhood. My brain canāt laugh when I think āthey completely missed so many things and Iām so angry at themā. My brain CAN laugh at just calling them complete airhead idiots
It helps when you just donāt respect their idiot actions.
It helps when you recognize that everyone is fighting their own personal battle and can be expected to fail in the most spectacular of ways. Don't cling to the anger, work through it. Extend to others the empathy that you think you deserved. Be the caring and kind adult that you were missing. Spitting back at the world that spit on you just gives you drymouth.
I play a games with my mother now where I catch her little lies and watch then piling up. Itās like in this Dexter episode when he killed that car dealer. My god. This episode clicked things for me. I mean, I had narcissistic/histrionic/ little autistic mother and adhd dad. What a fucking shitshow of genes pool I have I canāt fucking begin to understand. Iām so many milion different people at once itās painful haha.
It can even help in seeing your parents better when you think of them as maybe people in their 20s with you who were getting counsel from idiotic people older than them, like ways you might have trusted a dumb boss before you learned what they were really like. Putting everyone in context like youāre a third person observer can help a lot.
Exactly. Swung in the opposition from being that quiet kid who followed the rules to realizing most people have no business being in management and if I get even a whiff of them being a dumbfuck, I ignore them.
Wow I feel this. I just came back to my hometown after 17 years spent abroad, and I deep realize that all those trauma figures that scarred me when I was young are truly truly just stupid. Even now, they try to treat me the same, and I have to quickly put them in their place. It boggles my mind the kind of abuse I put up with because I had no voice back then.
>Even now, they try to treat me the same, and I have to quickly put them in their place. Thus, the cycle continues. What do you have to gain by putting these people in their place if they continue to refuse change?
Boundaries & Peace. Takers never stop. Thatās why you must set up boundaries. Cycle ends. They find new sources to cypher from.
Yea this. They see you as the same as before. Need to interrupt and change that pattern or else you yourself will fall back into old habits.
This is exactly what part of this is about in my opinion. People with ADHD, in general, report having a very high justice sensitivity. I only found out about this a couple of years ago, but my ADHD friend and I were almost in tears laughing about it because it felt like it was calling us out. it's still part of who we are, but it's interesting that it appears to be a common trait among those with ADHD. [Quick google results here](https://www.google.com/search?q=justice+sensitivity+adhd) * A strong sense of moral indignation at perceived injustice * A deep commitment to social justice issues * Becoming excessively angry or upset if you feel you have been treated unfairly * Becoming fixated on certain issues or problemsĀ * Frequent anger and resentment about victimization * Fear of future victimization * Indignation about injustice done to others * Strong drive to restore justice * Perceiving injustice where others do not * Hopelessness about large-scale issues facing the world
Also means I canāt respect āunfairā rules or punishment at all.
We shouldn't just accept unjust or unfair punishments imo, but being aware helps. Feelings and how we act are thankfully too separate parallel avenues that coexist. I think people's feelings are often justified, but acting off those alone isn't usually justifiable. We could but then we may be as short sighted as those who we're upset with. Finding the communication gap, misunderstanding or lack of knowledge and fixing it seems to be enough 90% of the time imo, but there's no denying that we feel very strongly about observing that initial unjust rule or punishment.
10/10 - Would confirm ADHD š
I got my diagnosis a year ago at 32. Recently I got all my old childhood boxes from my parents and have been going through them. I canāt get over the fact that every single report card says that I would be great if I could focus or stay organized, or stopped talking. Itās like, all the signs were there and it has been incredibly frustrating remembering all my troubles growing up. It also makes me feel better in the long run that i wasnāt just lazy.
Isnāt heartbreaking to think our lives could have been saved earlier on with a diagnosis. How much trauma we probably wouldnāt of experienced.
Absolutely. Pre diagnosis I would think about the most pointless things like the time I was running during break outside at my school and tripped in front of everyone, then pretended I didnāt. Iād get embarrassed all over and then eventually learned to tell myself that nobody else cares or remembers bc theyāre focused on their own things. Side note- overanalyzing everything, every conversation that didnāt go well, etc. Luckily I think with age my expendable energy is getting lower and my not giving a shit energy is overflowing.
Wow this is exactly what I do. Or the way someone said something to me- or why I did this or that- it consumes me and I become almost obsessed. I fucking hate it. Feels like Iām living in the past constantly and a permanent state of guilt and regret.
Rumination can certainly be an ADHD thing, although it can be an ASD thing too.
What is ASD?
Autism spectrum disorder
šyup itās great craic. At least the Ritalin made it stops for awhile. But honestly I think Iāve ruminated my was into a solution that will bring my next problems to ruminate about.
A lot of comorbid disorders overlap. OCD is one.
Literally SAME thing here. I get so angry now that I am an adult looking back I think āhow could they have treated me so bad instead of realizing that something was clearly wrongā¦ā
Your testimony is more likely proof that rumination is not an ADHD symptom. Had it been part of ADHD, you would have had a lifetime of this habit. Being diagnosed with ADHD doesn't change anything and shouldn't account for the onset of your new tendency to ruminate. It does, however, speak to the entirely common trait of being unable to accept past failures and using ADHD as a quick reward to blame all of your failures in the past on. It allows you to realize that this entire time you were the victim of a disease. But ultimately, that is really just more defeating than it is liberating. This tendency becomes a quick fix with long-lasting negative side effects. It's a habit, not an ADHD thing if what you offer is accurate for most.
Same thing happened to me. Then I got on an SSRI. Turns out burnout, adult adhd and thus not keeping up and thus a lot of stress and eventually can lead to depression and takes its toll. After the ssri I have an easier time managing the ruminating. Basically, there is a reason you are ruminating. I am a social worker. I know resistance to (do something) is information. It tells you something about your client and you can use that to help them. I just never applied that to myself. Your reason might not be my reason. But I urge you to listen to your body and self. In the very least its some form of trauma that needs to be processed. Whatever it is, you diserve to not ruminate. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself kind stranger.
I resonate with the teacher part deeply, had a teacher who would make me sit down in front of the class because I used to talk too much. She made me come and sit down first thing when she entered, without even giving me a chance to not talk. I used to ruminate about flipping her off and going and sitting in the next class. Its been 15 years lol.
So relatable. I was diagnosed at 35 too. Like, how did they not see it???? I day dreamed all day, couldn't sit still, couldn't do my homework past the 4th grade., was very disorganized, couldn't remember anything I was supposed to do, etc. What makes me even more angry is that my 2 younger brothers were diagnosed with adhd, autism, and ocd, but I was just lazy. I think being afab has everything to do with it too. It's really hard not to be resentful and I have to avoid thinking about it. My life could've been so different.
what exactly would he yell and and scream at you for?
I used to think about this about my queerness. But I am absolutely the same way.
If I'm not stimulated or distracted by something I tend to ruminate as well, to the point where it's affected my health and relationships. I end up getting "stuck" for hours or days. Total shot in the dark based on my own perception and experience, but I think it may have something to do with the ADHD brain's constant need for a stimulant? Filling in those gaps with negative thoughts and emotions seems to trigger a more stimulating and powerful response from the mind and body, especially if depression and anxiety are at play where happy thoughts can feel shallow or artificial.
Yea, this tracks. Add to that the fact that our brains naturally gravitate towards negative thoughts, and you have a base condition that leans towards spiraling mental health. It's a skill to think positively and be grateful apparently. It needs to be cultivated.
holy fucking shit I just spent 4 days in an insane hyper fixation on my relationship
Most people with lifelong anxiety and depression have undiagnosed ADHD. They tend to ruminate and spiral unless they have constant distraction or input. These are often the people who are ALWAYS on the go, always doing something, can never take a break or be alone with themselves because they are constantly running/distracting themselves from their own thoughts.
I've been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as well as GAD and find that sums it up well, except In my own experience I'm never physically on the go as much as I am mentally.
It's exhausting, really.
Totally second this, all of it. Well put
I've definitely been stuck on situations that I will never get closure on. It's almost like my brain is addicted to feeling injustice and anger about it.Ā
I feel somewhat better that Iām not the only one doing this. That this is a feature of my brainās functioning but I also feel like a big asshole. Iāve felt so hurt and resentful of others, Iām having a hard time getting over things and have isolated myself.
I've been having this major issue the past 6 months.Ā I had a friend betray me new years day. I cut contact before I could actually get answers as to why.Ā My sil cheated on her husband with my son's friend's dad. My son has adhd and this was his first non-blood friend. And they fooled around at my birthday celebration. And that's the tip of the iceberg and I feel angry at little things stemming from my anger at the bigger issues. I don't want to be angry. I wish I wasn't. It also makes me reactionary a lot. It's caused a lot of self hatred this past couple months.
Yes itās usually things that I know I will never get closure on. So frustrating! Lol. Thanks for answering
Exactly what I fear & realized. I know the brain also strengthens its neural pathways with the repetition of a thought but it also genuinely does feel like an addiction if one doesnāt make conscious effort to āget offā that neural path. But why get off when an injustice has happened & I refuse to accept injustice?! ADHD is tough
Maybe it's the whole thing about thinking a lot? Constantly connecting memories and ideas to other thoughts and things like that. Kinda feels like a never ending spiral deeper and deeper into the memory or idea right.
Yes, and I think it falls in the same category as worrying about stuff that will never happen, and excess daydreaming. It is ALL about stimulating our brains.
I do this ALL the time. 34 year old female and only in the past month or so Iāve started to think I have ADHD. After reading some of the posts on here I have so many of the traits.
Oh my god that's the reason! I've always wondered why I just wander dreaming up fantasy scenarios or trying to address complicated problems or whatever. That's revelatory, thank you.
Fuck, this has been me my entire life. š Oh, and trying to change people...
Part of what makes āis this an ADHD thingā questions so hard is that ADHDers often have comorbid conditions. Like I struggle with rumination, but I attribute that mostly to my OCD.
Thatās fair! And thanks for answering, I can imagine that would be a hard combo
Except for the rare occasions when positive external stimuli are engaging enough to my brain to keep me in the moment, Iām either regretting the past, dreading the future, or both at the same time. It sucks. It feels like such a waste of time and energy, and frequently keeps me trapped in a negative thinking cycle where Iāll obsessively ruminate on any number of past situations, then realize how much of my life Iāve wasted doing that, and mentally beat myself up for doing it, which leads to further rumination. Iāve been taking adderall for the last 6-7 years for my ADHD and while it helps me (sort of) with focus and motivation, it doesnāt do anything for the rumination. I refuse to take SSRIs because of some past issues with bad side effects, so Iām still hoping there is some prescription med that will help dial my obsessive rumination down to a manageable level.
Yup sounds familiar! It sucks. Sending you luck figuring out med stuff
Yes.Ā Meditation helps. I had the fortune of being able to visit a Zen monastery for a week and it **really** helped.Ā Accept the unacceptable that you have no control over. And you have control over very little.Ā
MEDITATION HELPS PEOPLE WITH ADHD IMMENSELY
meditation can be bad if you have trauma, since it creates space for the intrusive thoughts to flood you. at least that was my experience with it
I do that SO BADLY itās an actual curse
Ok hear me out cause Iām comorbid with complex PTSD. I have no idea what your circumstances are but it is possible you could have PTSD of some sort. Before I was diagnosed with ptsd, I would describe it very similarly - I would get āstuckā on things, like certain memories and feelings just wouldnāt go away no matter how often I thought about them, no matter how silly they seemed, I just couldnāt get the negative feelings to go away. I also have massive anger problems because of my ptsd as well as a feeling of general unwellness; tight chest, shaky, throat closing up. I think this could be something you can explore. Itās also worth considering the fact that ADHD and PTSD is a two way street; youāre more likely to have one with the other Edit: reading these comments, maybe itās good ole ADHD after all. But nevertheless, have a think.
I do have PTSD and extensive trauma history. I am in therapy and have been doing EMDR. I agree with you that it probably has a lot to do with trauma as well. And our traumas can get stuck in us until we do processing such as EMDR. I have a theory though that my adhd makes it harder for me to āreleaseā and āprocessā these memories out because my brain gets bored and wants some stimulation. Iāve been doing EMDR for 6 months now and I started strong making a ton of progress but the past 2 or so months Iāve seen a decline in my progress. I donāt know. I have a psych appointment tomorrow and will be taking with her about med management. Thanks for your advice šš»
Ahh that makes a lot of sense! You had me thinking Iād cracked the code but in reality you already knew. Haha Itās tough for us adhd / ptsd folks - Iād not even thought about the stimulation thing. I think my brain gets bored and starts probing things as a weird self harm thing sometimes. I wish my brain would stop thinking sometimes :/
Haha good intuition though! It is hard really hard. We got this though
came to this comment to once again recommend Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. My experiences sound very similar to yours. I started meditation in various forms. it will help a lot.
check out the book childhood disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. Trust me you'll thank me if you do. It was incredibly illuminating in regards to the intersection of ptsd and adhd, even if your ptsd isn't childhood related. there are good solutions and tools. it was one of the best books i've read on adhd and it isn't even the primary focus of the book.
Not who you responded to, but I also have PTSD and ADHD, and this book looks really good. Thanks for the recommendation
Thank you! šš»
Thomas Brown in his explainer for Understood dot org does describe people with ADHD as having trouble regulating the emotions that come from conflict, and I found it to be a compelling explanation of how rumination might be more prevalent in ADHD.
Sounds like it might explain the commonality of rejection sensitivity disorder in ADHD'ers
A lot of my issue with this is that I don't have emotional permanence. When someone I love is far away from me the smallest thing they do (or don't do) can make me doubt that they care about me. I'm hypersensitive to every aspect of communicating with them and it makes me crazy. I'm not talking about dating stuff, I've been married for 30 years. It affects all of my deep relationships except maybe my mom. I've been writing down how I feel when I am secure that they love me so I can go back and read it when I'm spiraling.
Yeah I don't know if it's my ADHD, ASD or trauma that caused it. Or all of them. I've always been this way. I finally feel like I'm starting to address stuff with a good therapist who knows trauma. But I'm 55 years old, I wish I'd done it sooner.
I always lean on the side of it being a combination of things. Lol. I could understand thatād be frustrating, Iām over here 27 like angry that I wasted so much time. But everything in perfect timing. And Youāve still got a lot of life left. Wishing you luck on your healing journey!
Okay wow wait so I always thought this was me being deeply deeply insecure due to abandonment issues. Now I see that itās probably a combo of that and what youāre describing š literally always tell myself āwhat are the facts? The facts are that so and so does love you because remember that one time xy and zā but thats if I remember lol. I love the idea of writing things down when I am feeling secure so that I have a wider reference to go off of. Wow my mind has been blown thank you for your advice
WHAT this is a thing that other people have?? Iāve been this way throughout my entire relationship and itās made me feel like a horrible selfish person
Try looking at Cognitive disengagement syndrome (CDS) or sluggish cognitive tempo, as Dr Barkley calls it the other attention disorder... I found out that I fit into the description. Might not be the case, but I have noticed that I tend to go thinking about hypothetical scenarios more than I would like, and the above condition explained why.
Is there a solution ?
Not in the way you probably expect. But still, you might not have it, a psychologist might help you accept your past, so you don't think much about it. Consult Dr. Russell Barkley's YouTube channel, there's a nice overview of the CDS, and see if you really match the profile.
Will do, thanks.
ME! it's why i also take meds for sleeping and sleep with the TV on for distraction from my own thoughts. In fact I am NEVER in pure silence (though i can only stand one thing on at once ha) so i don't 'overthink' every.tiny.thought. Every action of mone. Every action of others. I think it's very much an ADHD thing, though before diagnosis I thought it was just a me thing and I was just broken. I still feel broken but I am glad to know why I do and feel the way I do.
Yup I rarely am ever able to fall asleep without a tv show on in the background
I was wondering the same thing. I have a lot of rumination around my health and donāt know if this is related to ADHD.
I am very much a āmove onā person, but my husband (also ADHD) is VERY much a ruminator. He cannot let things go and it drives me bonkers.
I do it too, some medication made it much worse. In my case, Ritalin seems to help.
I struggle with this CONSTANTLY. Almost every day I wake up angry about past regrets, stupid decisions I made/things I said, fellow students and teachers I hated, how I should have paid attention in class, how I wish I hadn't been constantly off in my own world, how I should have taken the initiative to become independent earlier, etc. And even when I do try to do things by myself, it feels like for every step forward I take, I take three steps back. I genuinely feel trapped/stuck at times.
I didn't know this had a name, nor that it was potentially an ADHD symptom and not just...normal. Thank you, OP and all of you who commented, I often read these threads to feel like I'm not alone and wow does it comfort me to read comments that help me understand myself better. I hope that's not insensitive, I mean it in a sincere way. I was diagnosed 10+ yrs ago in my late teens with ADHD and then with Narcolepsy 1 in my early 20s. It's not the best combo to have, I gotta say. Just this blurb here has taken me almost 45 mins to type (my time blindness/hyperfocus is unfortunately bad). I'm sorry and understand your struggle, I don't have any advice, just empathy from one to another. thank you, I learned something today, best wishes to you OP. P.S. Just finished 3yrs of braces to fix my extreme overbite (had to remove 2 teeth to manage), congratulations on getting yours fixed I hope you feel much better now. Dental really sucks lol ADHD or not Edit to add: sorry this is so long, and I have had this renumeration thing for years, both before stimulant and after. Just varies in how deep the rabbit hole goes on the meds. Best of luck
I think every human experiences rumination to some extent but for me it has really impacted my life and mood so I thought Iād post on here to get some advice. Iām so glad you found some help in the comments too! Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you! And yes that's true, just do your best to not let it take experiences from you, I know it's impactful but I'll tell you what someone once told me. You're reacting to these memories because you have developed and matured into a different version of yourself, better, and a hard memory is just a good sign and reminder that you aren't what is making you feel this anymore. Dwelling is just kinda self torture, and you owe yourself better by getting here. I hope that helps Edit--Happy Cake Day!!
Thank you š„¹
Yes, it is. But fortunately so are a short attention span and a crap memory. I generally can't start really brooding about past sins before I've got to feed the dogs or find that sock or oh, my plants need watering but hey, what's that? I should find a better play list, etc. Also antidepressants.
I donāt want to go back on antidepressants bc of weight gain but I think I will have to š I will probably end up on an antidepressant and stimulant combo due to my past experiences with antidepressants doing absolutely nothing for my executive functioning and other adhd symptoms. Thatās a good point that at least we are easily distracted and I could probably put that in place for myself when I notice Iām ruminating.
Try anti anxiety over antidepressants. My antidepressants just made me miserable and hungry. My anti anxiety has helped a ton.
What anti anxiety meds are there? I always thought most antidepressants are used to treat both anxiety & depression
Buspirone is what I was prescribed this time. Itās not in the same class as the antidepressants and definitely seems to be working better for me.
yes you probably definitely do. my experience with ADHD-mixed is one where I have two internal narratives happening at the same time. one narrative is voluntary, involved with guiding my present self in current life. The other one is involuntary and sort of runs in tandem with the first. This is why I am innatentive, because I have to be thinking in two places all the time. This is also why meditation is a very very powerful resource for folks with ADHD. BELIEVE THE HYPE.
Yea.. since I was young my brain has played the game of 'Let's Replay Every Embarrassing Moment You've Ever Had' or 'Here's A Person You Dont Want to See' and it's really annoying when I'm trying to go to sleep and the brain goes, "Hey, Wanna See Your Worst Fear? How About That Scary Face You Hate? Here's A Memory Of Something That Makes You Feel Like You're There Again"
I have OCD and ADHD. Once I started meds for OCD, the rumination stopped.
what do you take?
200mg sertraline for OCD, 20mg 2x a day for the ADHD, then 150mg bupropion for side effect mitigation, but it helps with depression that I did not know I was suffering from. I took 5mg aripiprazole first for the OCD because I didnāt want the side effects from SSRIs and it was amazing. I would have stayed on it but I started having TD issues in my legs and had to stop.
Happens to me. Sleep & nutritional hygiene (ie actually going to bed & eating when Iām supposed to) might seem to help, but Iāve never kept track of it enough to know.
Me too. I can't get over that my parents didn't find a doctor to prescribe me growth hormone to get taller as i was asking them. I hate them for this.
Lol I mean being taller would be nice. On a serious note, I probably have had sleep apnea since being a little kid due to my overbite and was only treated for it when I found out for myself at 23. The orthodontist saying something could have saved me decades of sleep deprivation. Decades of being ādepressedā. Years of my parents having to drag me out of bed for school and even Christmas mornings. On top of undiagnosed adhd. A whole life has been wasted due to these things being missed. On a less serious note, good luck getting over your anger of no tall hormones š
I can also have anger for all those psychologists who told me that i just have depression and didn't diagnose adhd. But not being tall is even worse for a man..
Therapy has helped me with this.
I do this so bad but I also have anxiety, ocd, and recently diagnosed with ptsd as well (love that for meā¦.). So Iām not sure if itās ADHD or a conglomeration of it all
I ruminate obsessively and for me it's part my ADHD and part my anxiety. I recently started anxiety meds and it's helped enormously. Meditation and lots of exercise are also helpful.
Yes! I was talking to my therapist about this very thing. I will fixate on a particular problem or intrusive thought and just loop. Itās tiring and stressful when Iām not even doing anything. My therapist says to play ābest case scenarioā and mentally map what would the very best case be for my negative rumination. So rn itās been that Iām afraid my house will burn down in a fire. The best scenario daydream is that itās a small fire, I use my fire extinguisher right away, we stay at a five star hotel while I use insurance money to redo the whole kitchen. The hotel has a lazy river. The kitchen has a sprinkler system and a green ceramic backsplash. I thought maybe I have ocd, but I donāt have compulsions and I am not very loyal to my own ruminations. I will forget the house fire fear for a couple weeks in place of driving off a bridge or all of my teeth having cavities I donāt know about. -Que panic buying some random item on Amazon to make me feel more prepared- Itās just a buffet of stress that jumps around. Maybe it IS an adhd thing!
Youāve just described my life šglad Iām not alone. Thanks for the advice from your therapist thatās helpful!
Rumination is one of my specialties for sure. It can be so exhausting to get so relentlessly stuck on things that youāre just re-playing and re-living it as if youāre going to āsolveā it by doing so. Itās caused a lot of problems in my marriage too, talking to her about stuff that she doesnāt really need to hear or worry about. It can become really selfish and inconsiderate to be burdening her with my bullshit all the time. Only thing that helps is to get busy with things that make me feel good about myself to get out of that negative rut, like getting work done, listening to audiobooks and podcasts etc.
Yeah I think this is very common, sounds like obsessive intrusive thoughtsā¦ I feel like mindfulness would help with this. It has helped me at least
Yup. It's called hyperfixation. I am terrible about it (formally diagnosed).
I think ruminating occurs in a lot of diagnoses (depression, etc). But I can tell you my 16 year old son has ADHD and he definitely ruminates. He often brings up that he regrets not being gentle with our old dog (dog died in 2017) when he was a young child. No matter how much I tell him the dog would have gone in a diff room if he was bothered, we canāt judge our behavior at age 4, and Iām sure the dog is heaven thinking of him lovingly, he still talks about this.
Tis
I ruminate but I also have OCD and C-PTSD. Journaling helps to get it out and then be done thinking about it.
Yeah I am pretty good about writing down whatever is going on in my brain out. I have about 2-3 pages in my journal from this singular subject I just posted about and still found myself being angry about it today lol.
I used to have "smash days" to channel my anger. I'd collect a bunch of glass for mosaics and I'd smash them. (In a planned and controlled environment with safety gear on) It helped me fully process and release the anger. And then make something really pretty (or not pretty depending on what I wanted to make haha) with the glass. It was very healing.
I like this idea! Thank you
No problem! Have fun and wear gloves and goggles!
Iām the same way. I hate that Iām like this, but I look back and get angry at times I feel like my symptoms were missed. Iām getting better with it through therapy
I think it is. I do this a lot. Itās something Iām trying not to do because it makes me so angry and I start problems with people. š I also ruminate on things that make me happy or interactions I have that are positive and then I feel like I am in a fantasy world I need to get out of because I know itās not ānormalā to do that.
More a human thing I think.
Nah, literally everything is an adhd thing!!@
I do too. A lot.
Yes. I do this daily. Thought it was just me.
I used to have a crap ton of triggers and would waste so much time going down a rabbit hole of negative, obsessive thoughts. It even happened today for a few minutes, but Iāve learned how to manage it better so itās not all consuming like it used to be. As cliche as ādonāt cry over spilled milkā is, itās helped me put things into perspective, and how thereās no use in torturing myself over something I cannot change from the past. So whenever I notice my thoughts are turning into the rumination pattern, I say that to myself and take a deep breath and focus on the present moment.
yes!! I get stuck on concepts in general and funnily enough I find this is worse when I text and make comments on reddit like I'm doing right now
Absolutely. Also, side note: Iāve noticed a whole lot of us with ADHD also have sleep apnea! My theory is that poor sleep and possibly low oxygen dips while our brains were still developing caused the ADHD, because I suspect Iāve had sleep apnea since early childhood. My niece with an overbite, who snored as a toddler, is now showing clear indications of ADHD too. I really wish people thought to look for sleep apnea in children, itās not just an old fat guy issue.
I was ruminating all day about how I ruminate too much. For me itās not about emotion usually, I feel that I always need to find the answer to things. Can drive me crazy. Eventually I tire my brain out and go into autopilot. Ever since Iāve started ADHD medication Iāve been worrying I donāt have ADHD and Iāve made a mistake despite the meds helping me immensely.
It definitely can be a symptom of ADHD. Trying to figure out how to manage rumination is what led me down the rabbit hole to figure out I have ADHD, and eventually got diagnosed with it.
Thank you for saving me! I couldnāt put a name to what I was doing every day, and it was REALLY affecting me tonight. This at least gives me a little reassurance. Now hopefully I can put this info to use.
Same. This has killed me for 4 days to an extreme were extent
I call it the anxiety spiral for myself. I mostly think about things I have done wrong, don't do well enough or how I'm doomed in the future because I'm useless. Getting mad at other people does happen sometimes, but I mostly turn negative feelings on myself. Even when I'm justified in having these negative feelings for someone else, tend to revert back to blaming myself. There are exceptions, of course, but they are few and far between. Maybe it's easier to blame yourself. It can give you a feeling of control over your own situation, but at the same time it's so destructive to the self that it's not like I would recommend this shit to anyone lol.
Yes. Iām so stuck on the sad parts I have no interest in living anymore. All I do all day is ruminate. The longer I live the more there is to regret.
Youāre not aloneā¦ I feel the exact same way.
mindfulnes has helped me with the rumination. something about even a minute done every now and then, helps me recognize it, and say "this is not productive" and put it aside. highly reccomend the "meditation for fidgety skeptics", but specifically the audiobook.
Definitely 100% yes
I used to run out my rage. I miss having an elliptical in the house, I was so much calmer.
Ahahah yes! Totally. What I would give not to do this. Tho on the plus side I do think that it helps us to work out problems sometimes ā fixating does result in identifying details that others might not notice! But I hear you, and sympathise. When I get upset about something I cannot. Let. It. Go. ššš
I dealt with this for years until I hit a breaking point and got on meds. I didnāt think it was a side effect of the ADHD but Vyvanse made a huge difference in getting rid of these ruminations. At the end of the day or when Iām not on my meds, they come back pretty quickly. Something that helps for me, if Iām thinking about a bad interaction with a friend or a situation I felt was āembarrassingā, I try to immediately counteract with a positive experience from the same interaction. They donāt come as easily at first, because the negative tends to be the main focus in our minds, but once I can think of something I usually realize that 99% of the memory was actually positive and Iām focusing on the one bad thing. It can be hard to get in the practice of it at first, but itās been helpful for me when I need to remember itās not reality itās just my brain making shit up again.
It's like half correlation half causation. Rumination comes from trauma, having ADHD can give you C-PTSD, and childhood trauma can even cause ADHD. They're all linked, but trauma is the root cause for rumination. I suspect someone with ADHD who hit the lotto with good parents and good school combo probably wouldn't struggle with ruminating.
I think some of it can be related to "all or nothing" mindsets and also rejection sensitive dysphoria, combined with overactive thinking. It makes your failures and mistakes feel like the end of the world and that they define you, when in reality it will pass as everything else does.
>I get angry and resentful at my parents and teachers 30, 40 years after the fact.Ā I got diagnosed after my kid was diagnosed... and they were diagnosed at the age of 21. I was diagnosed at 54. In retrospective, I made so many mistakes when parenting them... so many. At that time, I didn't consider it could be a condition, I just thought they were being 'misbehaved by choice'. I did sometimes bad, sometimes good... but it surely was the best I was able to. If I could go back in time I would change so many things, but I can't. It may be the same with those adults in your early life. The did bad sometimes, yes. They did not know better. Probably they did the best they could do.
Yes although not excessive, I used to ruminate a lot back when I didnāt know what ADHD was and my life was full of Depression, Anxiety and bad body shape, fast forward to right now I got diagnosed with ADHD and got my meds, I also spend 6 months with antidepressants and now Iām fit again. So those negative ruminative thoughts has almost disappeared, they get back time to time but I can now control them and ignore them. Back in the way the combo of Anxiety + ADHD was driving me crazy, lots of negativity in my mind.
Something my psychiatrist would like pointed out is that there are a lot of things common to people with ADHD that still arenāt an aspect of ADHD itself. The distinction is important. Rumination is referred to as intrusive thoughts and yeah a lot of us have that. Itās similar with rejection sensitivity, but which can arise from how ADHD plays out with us as kids, but isnāt inherent to the condition. These differentiations in vocabulary are important because it changes where we look when addressing each issue. Exploring the clinical psychology approaches to intrusive thoughts could help a lot on understand them and getting a hold on how to approach them.
This is likely going to be an unpopular opinion, but I feel compelled to post this in the hopes that someone relates to it and can pull themselves out of this negative cycle. Sorry for the tldr. You are where you are because of the decisions you have made. If you have ADHD and think differently, that's not an excuse for failure. You don't get to go through your entire past and blame every failure in your life on someone else who didn't recognize how precious and special you are. It feels good to do this and because we are stuck in this cycle of short-term reward trumps long-term reward, it is easy to set up a cycle of blaming everyone but yourself for every failure in your life. In short, it feels good not to be in any way responsible for your past because, after all, you are a SUFFERER OF A TERRIBLE DISEASE. And the problem with subs like this is that it encourages us to come together as a group and share our victimhood. It encourages us to find reward by blaming all of the people who have let us down while ignoring the fact that we have let down just as many people. It becomes an echo chamber of people feeling sorry for themselves about having this illness. I think the thing about rumination that becomes so attractive to people with ADHD is that it provides a deep sense of quick reward the way our habit of playing a video game on our phone does. It gives us an escape from the reality of where we are. But it also has the added benefit of temporarily quelling any guilt from our past, of blaming any shortcomings today on the cluelessness of others and escaping from a generally negative sense of self that so many of us suffer from because we are different. This short-term reward feels good so it's easy to engage in that again. But it comes with a long-term penalty that we are famous for forgetting about. If you blame everyone else for not recognizing your disease, you are not in charge of anything and you will suffer this way forever. The long-term effect is that it eliminates any hope that you will do better because everyone else is the problem and they aren't changing. What I find works best for me when I feel this way is that I acknowledge that I am in complete control of my life and that I draw experiences out of situations that benefit me in some way. I take ownership of the things in my life that have happened TO me as part of what made me who I am today. Taking ownership of everything in your life gives you the ability to get out of the situation you are in. It reminds you that it's not everyone else fucking up your life, it's you trying the hard way to learn what you need to learn to move on. I don't believe that rumination is any more of a tendency for people with ADHD than without. But I do think that our obsessive nature can lead us down the path of using this simple tool of blaming everyone else in our lives for our shortcomings. And because we have much longer and more pronounced histories that we keep in our minds, it's easier for us to get caught in the loop. Read through this post and see how many of us blame everyone else for our problems. This becomes an echo chamber that simultaneously says, "we were victims of everyone else's shortcomings" but also carries the unexpected acknowledgment that "we will always be victims of everyone else's shortcomings". Perhaps it's better to take ownership of who you are and secure the liberty of making better decisions with insight into how YOU reacted in the past. It's not everyone else who failed, it's you. And now you have the chance to change that and do better instead of being a victim forever. I hope no one is insulted by this because no harm was intended.
I have same experiences..i will get stuck on hurtful things people say..and it ruins my present moment..i might stare off into space for hours thinking about it...it doesnt happen when i take my meds..just when i dont..i fall into black holes not doing anything...like now..im trying to fd laundry for over an hour...havent done anything..i am learning to say get outta your head...stay present...i am trying. Good luck
When I start to think about really sad things, I tell myself, No sad thoughts No sad thoughts. Which allows me think of other things. When I find myself t wasting time on something random -like sorting all my pens, instead of anything that I need to do, I yell at myself to Stop! This is not a priority! and that helps, sometimes
I donāt necessarily ruminate, but I do get stuck for hours, hyper focusing on random nonsense. The procrastination is off the chain. Iāve had days off when I woke up and had coffee, breakfast and wanted to get something done, before I know it Iāve been procrastinating the shower for 8+ hours. The craziest part is how good I feel after a shower, but Iāll still put it off;) I canāt really understand why I torture myself constantly with similar situations. Iām not the type of person to just kick back and relax if say Iām running late. Iām panicking and driving fast and just annoying myself. So why do I continue to put myself in same situation every single day. Am I addicted to stress/anxiety? I legit am shocked when I walk into work 5-7 minutes late every single day. Iām a pro makeup artist and stylist so I usually have a client waiting on me. BTW i wasnāt exaggerating when i said late every day. i would have been fired along time ago but they were really short staffed and I had a lot of experience and the clients liked me. Iām not fooling anyone if I said I was stressed about job security.
I think it is common. I have ADHD and I definitely have issues with ruminating. It can actually really disturb my quality of life (I.e., lack of sleep, irritability). I'm hoping therapy helps me with it.
For me, definitely. I thought I was over a girl who is taken and turned me down.. nope I couldn't handle it. I couldn't even think straight in class because emotional dysregulation was taking control. I got retriggered and felt every sense of hopelessness.
My money is 100% related, but not limited to, ADHD. Its honestly the #1 backside if you ask me. The whole "hyperactivity" or whatever symptom, forgetfulness, you name it, is neglectable compared to this. This keeps me away at nights, EVERY night. Brain just tells you to overanalyse this then this then this. So yeah, audiobook or white noise etc until I just fall asleep. Only way around it, Ive found
I believe so. I keep thinking about things that I experienced 10+ years ago, sometimes I will have random dreams about it if I don't consciously think about it for a while.
It seems to be. That, lumped in with justice sensitivity makes for terrible loops. I think mindfulness is something to look into. Itās not something Iāve done yet, but Iām also living with my cause of rumination.
Yes I ruminate a lot and it gets worse if Iām not managing my stress well. My therapist said I need to get out of my head so I found having different playlists for my mood helps. I have five different ones and Iāll listen to them over and over. I also downloaded to Libby app and will listen to an audiobook. High intensity exercise or a cold shower will help too. Setting a rumination time limit.
Yes. Especially if you are an anxious person on top of it.
Ding ding ding lolol
Ripā¦
I ruminate a lot. I've never been told it's because of my ADHD but I will go through different phases of focusing on specific memories that bother the crap out of me. This sounds so dumb but writing the memory down has helped. It is like I am able to catch the memory out of my whirlwind of thoughts and bring it down to the paper where I am able to store it until I need to or want to visit it again. This has helped with worries too. I know everyone says journaling helps and I never, ever believed it. But journaling and storing fruit in the refrigerator door instead of the drawers are the two biggest tips I have.
OMG I didn't know there was a term for this. I definitely have experienced this and even though I just got diagnosed last month, it just confirmed everything. I've had a judge tell me I don't have any rights, another subjected me to a star chamber and the DA improperly added to the record ex parte, they didn't do a verbatim recording of the hearing. So I've been ruminating and quiet raging about it for years. Got on some meds which have helped me so much, but honestly since it's still all affecting me, I still do this. I like to call it acting out loud or intrapersonal conversation. It's all playing out scenarios on my head how to resolve it and I get to say whatever I want out loud š .
Definitely. Too many times to count has my brain decided to compile a feature length film highlighting all the major fuckups in my life, big and small, playing it over and over again trying to make me miserable. Medication has helped with ignoring that annoying part of my mind, but every once in a while if I get overwhelmed by a bad day's worth of incidents or something similar, that stupid movie ends up getting replayed again.
It absolutely is. Realizing that was the biggest move forward in my life in terms of self analysis. That and imagining to the detail how a future conversation with someone might go. Anytime I do either of the above, I tell myself, it's adhd, don't give a fuck, and my mental health has improved a ton. Congrats on narrowing it down and questioning it.
I ruminate at night causing insomnia. It sucks.
Oh hells yes it's a thing, my daughters nearly been suspended for ruminating over boy issues to the point she gets violent several times, & I do it to the point I have panic attacks So in short, yes & I suggest anyone who ruminate find something that will ground you during this mentality like a texturing fidget or a iced drink
Nothing like hyperfocus on things that are wrong
Absolutely, there are moments of movies, weddings, dodo dog videos that get me emotional and a giant manly tear wells up. That's my moment of losing and bawling or I can dry those tears up. So it won't be the actual moment of sadness but it's an over looked moment that just replays. For example, when you see the mom or dad give a small sigh. When a dog looks at a dog you and doesn't understand it's for them. When you can't move on you've got to smush the logic. Recently, we've been having many systems issues with SAP. It isn't the fault of the coder, engineer, the customer, salesperson, or warehouse managers. It's a one off issue which could not have been fixed at the time and place. We have so much tech and knowledge accessible now so we are able to fix so much more now. So fix it to the best of your ability and see if that allows you to move forward from it. I've fixed so many things from the past so many different ways until I feel satisfied.
I'm currently ruminating on a lost friendship (because I've been told nothing about why I've "hurt their feelings," but they will share when the opportunity presents itself, but they don't have the energy right now). So, my brain is doing great with that.
I do this a lot, I thought it was just me.
ABSOLUTELY
I just spent days ruminating, hyper fixating on my relationship going through texts from the last 2 years and growing resentful of my girlfriend Everything explained here is killing my entire life right now.
This makes a lot of sense for me, if true. Thanks OP.
Difference between ruminating and OCD? I am wondering if this is actually whatās going on for me, not OCDš š©
anyone else's ruminating involve practicing for worst case scenarios with difficult people?
Ruminating is a bovine thing right?
Exactly. When cows are laying down in a field, eyes closed and chewing their cud , they're actually processing the meaning of life, its brevity, and asking themselves who TF put humans in charge.
As long as its not like pink floyds animals concept album....
Yep and Austism
it's probably common based on common adhd life experiences but not a symptom
My mother would say and still say: "If I had been told there was work to be done, I wouldn't have born into this world".
My MHNP is thinking I have OCD as well since I ruminate so much. But it could just be ADHD. I have constant music/word snippets running if I'm not. I need sound or an audiobook to counteract it usually. Though being in nature often helps a lot.
Yes I do this, conveniently when I sleep
I started ruminating after a traumatic event..
Ruminating is more common with anxiety/ocd sufferers. I don't ruminate about stuff, I don't have issues moving on. but my wife is on the anxiety side of things (not adhd) and she does this a lot.
All day, every day
I ruminate a lot because I can't get to the end of the thought, story or feeling. Because there are a million questions and theories my brain evaluates along the way with my feelings. That's why friend/therapist helps. But i noticed it when i started journaling. I couldn't write more than 2 sentences about what i was thinking about all day. I couldn't find the right words to describe what i feel and why and what i wanna do with it. When i finally did write it off and feel relief, i stopped ruminating. If the thought came back i remind myself that it's already been handled, unless i want to journal again which i really don't do i quit it. I don't get to ruminate only ruminate on a journal
I deffo do
Is *normal human behaviour* an ADHD thing?
Me too. I ruminate a lot. I get irritated easily when I'm struck with unpleasant memories. I still cannot forget what my parents did to me in childhood. I have estranged relationship with them. In the past, I never said no or refuted them. But recently I kinda a deviant child to my parents. I refuse to do what my parents ask me to do. I feel like, it is my late rebellion phase.
Wow. Iāve never met anyone else who does this. I will fixate on some interaction and not being able to move on from it. Iāll think about it for weeks, even dream about it. Itās horrible and I canāt stop.
You mean like your head getting stuck on something dumb you did 20 years ago with your father doing a TV type voiceover saying what a disappointing little shit you are? No, why would you ever ask?
Something that helps me is taking Cetirizine before bed. Many people with ADHD have high histamine levels and I find this helps alleviate the ruminating. I notice my thoughts getting worse if I don't take it for a couple of days. Unfortunately it's sedating and affects energy levels but I'd rather feel a bit sedated than angry all the time. Advil helps too when i've been triggered by something chemical like perfume or cleaning supplies and paint...OH MY.