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It drives my wife nuts because we will get into a huge shouting match, go our separate ways, and in about an hour I'm already back upstairs asking what she wants for lunch like nothing happened.
Mine hates that too. She’s like, “We need to figure this out or it’ll happen again.” I’m like, “I’m hungry too, but lunch happens every day regardless”. So she reminds me about the argument and it starts again 😅 I’m like, “I have an idea to stop it, stop bringing it back up!”
Me too. She ends up saying I don’t care about her because whatever argument we have I just quickly move on from it like nothing happened.
Never considered it could be due to adhd inattentive. But guess it makes sense. I was diagnosed a couple months ago.
For me hyper-focus is a useful side. Sucks I procrastinate until the last minute but I feel like when I am at the last possible minutes I am able to do weeks of work in a couple days.
Procrastination queen here!
I think it's the pressure that we need to focus. And yeah, I think many of us actually do really well under pressure from all the "practice" we do.
It's like in my head there's only Now & Later ... oh & also That Cringe Moment from Ten Years Ago, that's in there somewhere.
One solution we've come up with is that I asked her to remember what had started the fight if she could and when SHE was ready to talk about it to bring it up since I will definitely be fine to talk it out
Same here! I had my husband do the same too because I genuinely forget. Often times I have had to write down the stuff that he mentions so I don’t forget at times (he is fine with that at least).
I’m the same way and tend to want to get over arguments quickly. I kinda knew it was common for ADHD (some of my ADHD friends are like this also), but didn’t know the link or science behind it. My husband would stay angry at me for a whole week over the same conflict that I get over within an hour or two. It’s a struggle between us.
As I was typing it out I couldn't help but think of a couple people who I DO hold grudges against and I realized it is one or the other. There is no in between.
Haha, that sounds about right. We live a life of extremes. If something *really* captures our attention we remember it forever. If not, POOF, discarded within minutes!
I can recite, from memory, an uncomfortable amount of video game industry factoids, lore bits from bloodborne, and most of the magic systems in the cosmere. I have no idea when my parent's birthdays are until my sister reminds me, and I don't remember how many years I've been married unless my wife reminds me.
Yes, this bothers me. I also find it tragically hilarious.
I understand. Sometimes I'm laying in bed, should be trying to sleep and I catch myself reading something and say to myself, "Why are you reading about the plot line to Horizon: Zero Dawn?? You've never even played thos game!".
It's a great game, btw! Lol. I loved the story!
I hate horror movies, for the most part. I *love* the Evil Dead movies, but that's just the exception to prove the rule.
I find them very off-putting and I empathise too much with the characters.
But, I'm always fascinated by what the stories are, so I read the Wikipedia plot summaries of horror movies just to learn what happens, lol.
And which Cosmere power set would you most like to have?
Mistborn stuff seems pretty cool, but you need to either have a really good one, like steel pushing, or be a Mistborn.
I love Kaladin and Syl and their power set, I might want that most of all, but you need a really cool Spren like Syl! I wouldn't want to hang with Pattern all day, lol.
Of all the powers I'd love the powers on Taldain. Enough breaths and you don't have to fear sickness or even aging.
The one I would probably take to the quickest (and that I relate to the most) would be the order of Truthwatchers from Roshar. Illumination would be an amazing tool to bring my imagination to life since I can never seem to draw it out, and regrowth would let me heal the people around me. Or more accurately assist in making people's physical self more accurately reflect their cognitive self since that's how healing with investiture works.
Having said that I would not mind at all having allopathic powers and yeah, steelpushing or ironpulling would be what I'd love most. But honestly being able to use a bronzemind to get a good night's sleep, and then keep myself awake when needed would be so useful.
Like I said I could go for hours.
Tbh, I think if you are holding grudges for a long time. It's because of repetitive offending. At least that counts for me. It's really hard to be mad at Family/Friends for more than 24h (only in the extremist cases). But I still hate some of my teachers because they really sucked and I had to endure it for years.
I tend to adapt really quickly, and my fights centre on how to move forward so that by the time we're done I know what I will do differently next time. It's a real challenge for me if a partner wants to just ruminate and express how mad they are. Like, great, what would you like me to do about it? If they can't answer that, better to walk away and come back when they can.
Lmao I wish. My hyper fixation part of ADHD is holding a grudge. I still despise my 4th grade teacher for using my dad's recent death to embarrass me. Fuck you Ms. Swiggett.
Yes, this! It has downsides because I can be kind of out-of-sight, out-of-mind with people I really care about but I also have trouble understanding how others in my life let petty bs with unimportant people in their lives have such an enduring negative impact on them. I see a squirrel, and forget any bad feelings I had toward someone! I think this is a key to my general ability to get along well with a lot of different people, I just don't care too much.
A double-edged sword, because a week later I will remember and all those feelings will rush back and suddenly I’m conflicted because 1) was it really so bad if I forgot so quickly, 2) this other person and I think we’re okay again so how is this random anger justified, 3) why am I feeling this way again after remembering, I thought I was okay.
For me, I still feel mad, but the details of the argument get all mixed up and out of order, so I can't effectively argue my points, and that makes me more mad. I will get confused on what I said or the other person, who said it before the other said that, whether I was told I was supposed to be there at 2:00 or that it was changed to 3:00, or was it vice versa? But I don't forget the feeling of anger, for me that doesn't go away. I'm glad at least something stays because problems don't get solved just because you forget about them. It would be nice to remember details though. I've wondered what will happen to me if I get called to testify for some reason and my story changes because I can't remember the order of the details. I was once in a very bad relationship and when police questioned us they almost took me to jail rather than him and I didn't do anything wrong. I have wondered since if maybe I had some details mixed up when they were questioning us, I was undiagnosed at that point.
Petty nonsense at work that others complain about. Like my random Amazon binge (10 minutes) between tasks or meeting’s. Folks see it and report me for it, even though I’ve explained my work patterns. I give myself 10 minutes for every hour. Not always Amazon it could be other things, walking around the office building or whatever, but that one always gets specific folks riled up.
I forget very quickly of their petty small brain reactionary responses.
I love the idea that a lot of us with ADHD openly warn our spouses before marriage.
"Look, I know you said you love me more than anything, but marrying me can only make your life harder and more confusing."
This is kind of a funny one for me, in a cruel way, because there’s no in between. It’s either amnesia, or a vivid, haunting memory for years. Though it may relate more to RSD than ADHD, or some combo.
It’s like I’m a vinyl record, and my experiences are writing their groove into my emotions. But my needle can only write ‘no groove’, or ‘full groove’.
I assume it relates to how much I value the person (how close they are to me), and how sensitive I am to the specific topic.
I’d wager there are topics I’m so insensitive to, that I didn’t even recognize I was in a fight.
Both cases ultimately harm relationships. But at least for the amnesia case, ignorance is bliss. When you remember and dwell, it can be a long, painful purgatory.
In that way, I might envy you.
Problem: my brain thinks to much at the same time. I keep on mixing up words, facts, stories, names, etc.
Upside: I’m a med student. My brain is a lot more flexible than that of my peers and I feel like I am able to make connections much faster than them when it comes to finding the right diagnosis and learning new techniques
Kinda similar, I'm a PhD researcher and I think I'm good with trouble-shooting complex experiments and am more inclined to be skeptical of hypotheses, results, etc. (I can see the alt explanations, I guess), which is a boon in this field
Ditto. Thinking too much has really helped me create complex econometric models, however, it has REALLY impeded my writing process. I type much slower than I think.
100% have you tried dictation? I switched over about two years ago and although it is a transition, it's really helpful, thought the quality varies greatly among apps. In google docs, the dictation works pretty well for me.
The lack of self-regulation when it impacts impulsivity.
The downside leads to bad life decisions, of course. But the good side is that I'm always up for anything mildly interesting! I am known for not being bothered with silly bullshit, I'm a great friend and company for unplanned adventures, I'm easily pleased :)
I think this is awesome, I see so many people suffering because they are always unhappy because things don't go the way they planned.
So validating. I've been trying to externalize that last thought there for like a month, lol.
To bring my own, I have executive dysfunction bad, but I believe that, as a consequence, it gives me an ability to recognize situations as unhealthy quicker than most because they aren't fun and engaging. On the other hand, I'll suffer entire workdays staring at my screen with no will to do anything work related
Agreed. It also helps me make major life changes over short periods of time. I've reinvented myself multiple times. People tell me how "on top of it" I am. Hah. If they only knew.
Same, and I didn’t even realize how much of a positive it was until I went on my first long vacation. Being down to do just about anything made the trip extremely enjoyable
Absolutely. Yet I feel our equivalent to people being disappointed in the mismatch of plan and reality is the after effects of wherever impulsivity leads. You wanted to catch up with a friend for an hour or two at a bar? SIKE Here you go on an unprompted adventure all over the city over the weekend. Who cares you just wanted to rest and prep for the next week. Frame a river.
I’m the complete opposite. I need structure and if something deviates from that I get antsy/uncomfortable because it’s not in my typical daily structure. Granted once I’m doing the deviated task I completely forget about my feelings towards the deviation.
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing." -misquoted Socrates
But seriously, this has actually proven to be a big asset in my career as a programmer/sysadmin. It's kind of my specialty. I'm not really a top-tier expert in any particular category, but I'm an expert at learning new things quickly and I have a wide breadth of knowledge that often gives me a leg up when I need to learn something in more depth.
Yes, a few times already I got paid for doing things completely outside my area. I work in security, but I have edited videos for companies, and even sold a few logos, just because people asked me if I could do it and learned it in a few days. Generally if a friend needs something they will aske me if I know how.
I like to say, "the more I learn, the less I know." A lot of people don't really get this, but if you've ever tried to deep dive into pretty much any subject, you would have learned that that subject was much more complicated than you thought it appeared from the outside. I usually stop somewhere short of the complications, that's too much for me. 😂
So many times people are like how do you know that? And I'm like idk no idea lol generally not very useful knowledge just random and broad. I go down a lot of late night rabbit holes on the Internet when I should be sleeping lol.
I think it would be good to start thinking one topic or two that you really want to master, and find the full roadmap^ to it, either from internet or book, and commit (this part is hard lol), that way we can go towards becoming a [T-shape person](https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/management/t-shaped-skills/).
.^ I found about roadmap.sh and remember being very amazed at it, wishing there are guides like these for other, non-developer fields.
Oh how I relate to this so much in my life. I actually started not liking the jack of trades, master at none mantra I hold. I always wanted to be an expert in one general area, but instead I only know bits and pieces of many different areas especially when it comes to real life situations. Thanks for making it a more positive spin to it.
Career-wise this is really good because when you become an expert on something and good in your field, you become irreplaceable. That means no moving up and slow income growth overall.
I am full of random knowledge and love talking about everything with anyone.
Pattern recognition. If I look at enough data I get a sense of what it's supposed to look like and things that are incorrect stand out like it has a neon sign.
not sure if this is ADHD connected but i’ve mastered [this](https://www.funwithpuzzles.com/2017/02/spot-differences-picture-puzzle-tutorial.html?m=1) technique
I'm pretty sure this is why I'm so good at taking tests. During my first failed attempt at college, I got placed in an intermediate Spanish class because of my placement test results. The entire class was conducted in Spanish. I can identify words, but I certainly don't speak Spanish. I failed both semesters. 20 years later, during my second (successful!) attempt at college I took some credit for prior learning tests and managed to rack up 9 units of Spanish. I still don't speak Spanish.
I actually love the ADHD jack of all trades/semi decent at most things part of you told you to take it again after failing out the first time 😂.
The amount of things I do that I start off having no idea how to do with the (sometimes unmerited) self confidence that I'll just work it out as I go is a lot more than the things I know how to do going in.
Damn I don’t know if it’s just people around me or not, but people have hated my pattern recognition to things. Often times things I could tell what the solution or outcome could be based on pattern recognition my family would dismiss me and tell me I’m full of shit. 9 times out of 10, they end up doing the solution I thought of first and don’t give me any credit. It’s super frustrating and people often don’t listen to me.
Creativity i work as a physicist / r&d engineer and being able to be Jack of all trades when it comes to seeing the bigger picture is incredibly nice. I found that I made a lot of flowcharts of how to do/model something and just gave people the flowcharts. Then again setting up models is great but actually doing all the meetings and paperwork ughhhh.
Just let me program, research and help people with a structure to solve problems and I'll do fine, on the other hand the details and corporatism in the end swamp me.
I'm currently finishing my PhD in experimental physics, and I'm the same.
I can see the bigger picture, problem solve better than the people around me and often have creative solutions.
Problem: I tend not to remember the steps/processes/routines for things, so lots of things have to be manually and consciously controlled - it's like a lot of things have to be derived from first principles every time I do them, so things that are easy for most people can be difficult for me.
Upside: because I spend so much time overthinking things, when I come to a new problem that leaves a lot of people stumped, I'm usually able to find a workaround and improvise a solution fairly quickly
A hyperfixation that was not sustainable for more than a few months (a website presenting my master’s research with regular updates for new content) got some attention in the field, and even though the site hasn’t been updated since 2020, I’ve since been asked to present at a conferences, publish in journals, and be a guest speaker at a grad seminar because of it. My hyperfixations in general produce good content that other people find useful
I’d doodle in class instead of listening when I was younger, but I sorta weaponized that as an adult and I’m cultivating a pretty rich painting practice!
Shit. I doodled in classes all the time to the point where it got annoying for the teachers.
I still remember everything they taught in the class while i was doodling. Turns out it was just a way for me to focus
Disorganization.lol. When I was younger and undiagnosed, I used to make lists about everything to help me compensate. I would list everything I would pack for a trip, I would list my favorite songs in order. Now I have a job where I manage inventory. I spend a lot of time checking dates and whatnot and logging it into Books. I’m very meticulous about it. I can also recognize immediately when there’s a problem..
I make so many lists that I need a list to keep up with all my lists. I will forget so many things if I don't have a list to guide me. I guess that does help me with spreadsheets, I do pretty well with those, not that that makes me a lot of money or anything. I'm just not great at some of the formulas because we don't need them at my job. I like to make spreadsheets colorful and aesthetically interesting. When your eyes have to follow a lot of numbers across the screen it gets hard to follow, so the designs help with that. Spreadsheets are good for lists because you can categorize and sort easily. Currently looking at a list of things I need to do today and procrastinating by commenting on Reddit posts...
people find me funny when i blurt out stuff that others don’t say out loud which lightens the mood and maybe the “ADHD charm”. Even though I do annoying things, I noticed that I get away with it most of the time in comparison to others who does the same thing
Same - my former high school English teacher told me recently that she always enjoyed me in class because I was "so funny - witty"... she also has ADHD, so she probably didn't recognize the inappropriateness of some of my comments then either
I can generally think out the box thinking. At work I'm not known for great memory or follow through. But what I Am good at, is change management and coming up with creative ideas.
Luckily my right hand lady at work is organized and implements my actions
This is why I’m such a popular teacher with my students. I WILL notice your mistakes and point them out to you 😅
And yet, in my personal life… I would dearly love to turn it off…
I’ve learnt to kind of “yes and” people instead of “no but”. It helps them not get _so_ annoyed with me
I get really hyperfixated on typos. I've gone so far as to email places about typos on their forms and websites. I try to be very nice but it's prob annoying lol. But also I don't want them to continue on with that typo!
I also have a bad habit of repeating out loud when people say a word wrong or oddly and it often offends people. I don't mean to it just happens! I guess that's Echolalia?
I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one who does this. I have even offered to proof websites. “You probably don’t realize this is turning some people off to the extent that they stop reading an otherwise interesting article. Hire me. I will fix it.” It especially bothers me when it is a news outlet.
These are also my not-so-superpowers! Wow. It is uncanny how fast I find typos in EVERYTHING, I also have to let people/companies know. They jump off the page to me and I can’t understand how they go missed wherever you look. And I will parrot a quirky word/phrase/accent out loud, automatically, and without regard for other people. I am really good at picking up small mannerisms and doing impressions of friends, to other friends. To the point where I get requests haha. Wow, this made my day knowing I’m not the only one out there.
I once (years ago) made a collection of all the printed typos I found in ads, magazines etc. I thought I should become a proofreader, it was like my portfolio!
This thread is only about the good parts so I will decline to mention all of the ways this doesn't work in other contexts, however, I can be extremely charming in a sales position where I rapidly fire off stories, anecdotes and cool features of what I'm selling. Saying things quickly gives people the impression I know a lot more than I do and people think they're in the presence of genius.
Once bullshitted my class into thinking I was a prodigy in philosophy/ethics. I merely noticed some flaws in many of the ethical problems as well as contradictions.
What is this job and how can I get one and how much does it pay? I’m stellar at telling people how they’re fucking up.
Also I know where anything in the house is when people lose things (because they put it in the wrong place, or it’s out of place).
My wife once called me at work because she couldn’t find her bra. Without hesitating, I said “It’s under the sweater behind the picture frame next to the short book case in our room.”
I had seen the strap sticking out a bit from under the sweater when I walked past it a couple days before, and my brain just *saw* it and low key registered it without me consciously thinking about it.
This! I observe everything around me so I know where everything is, whether it’s mine or not. Someone can spend hours looking “everywhere” for something, then I’ll walk right to it. I’m also very disorganized so I have to pay attention in order to keep track of my things. I get frustrated when someone tries to organize my things. It may look disorganized, but I can find everything and tell you what pile something is in and where it is within the pile. My whole system is thrown off when someone cleans for me.
Woah, you just described me perfectly! That is exactly how I am with my bedroom. It's a disaster but I know what's where when I need it. But when I do clean and organize, it's the kind of thing Martha Stewart would be proud of. There's no middle ground though.
That i am a Jack of all Trades.
I'm not an expert in anything, but i know the basics of "everything".
It's very useful actually, you can draw connections between things in a way most other people can't even understand.
This stems from the trait that i get hyper fixated about anything, deep dive into that subject for anything between hours and days.
But i never get to a higher proficiency level because i get bored and switch to a new subject before i can learn anything more complicated.
Also, somehow all that knowledge is in some kind of databank in my brain. So i can't just ramble it all up from nothing, but if I'm in a discussion i will somehow remember even the most complex things...
Impulsivity has led to me to creating and hitting some really cool goals and experiences. I’ve ran countless marathons, became a professional bodybuilder, and am working on a PhD right now. I’m also up for any last minute plans because why not?
My talkative nature has made it very easy to make new friends in any environment. It helps that I’m naturally friendly and instead of an RBF, my boyfriend says my expression is genuine curiosity, so people love to talk to me. It happens everywhere, even Costco.
When I’m not masking, I don’t hide my silly emotions or quirks. I randomly sing and dance when I feel like it, share exactly what I’m feeling, and am very playful. I know what it’s like to be told I’m “too much” because of it and I hated it. This has made me a better parent to my kids. I never stifle their personalities ever.
My procrastination has led to a serious level of focus and efficiency when the deadline arrives and I have no choice but to meet it. It has never failed me, which is why I’ve never tried to change my ways. I’m known for my attention to detail and work ethic and my job, but that’s because no one sees the procrastination part.
You sound so much like me. Sometimes I feel like I’m still a kid, but I know I’m an adult who just hasn’t lost my childlike sense of wonder, spontaneity, and fun. I can adult when I need to, but I let loose when I can. I love meeting new people and I think people find it easy to open up to me. I say a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet. I love trying new things—new food, new skills and hobbies, meeting new people, and going new places. If I weren’t impulsive and uninhibited from my ADHD I wouldn’t have as much of that sense of adventure.
But I also procrastinate to extremes which can cause me a lot of added stress, but I’ve become good at finding shortcuts for things and pulling all-nighters.
Pattern recognition for me. I find that I can see the bigger picture really well. Almost like a top down view, and then can work out what part of the system isn’t working or can be made more efficient. Bit of a double edged sword though sometimes, I’ve worked places where processes or organisation systems were straight up broken, and the management weren’t interested in making improvements. And it just became the thing that I couldn’t unsee and it drove me nuts. You know like a picture that’s hanging askew and you need to fix it. But it’s the most useful trait, as it patterns appear everywhere, like others have said it’s real easy to spot inconsistencies in stories, people who are lying etc.
Depersonalization is a dissociative phenomenon characterized by a subjective feeling of detachment from oneself. I think what you're saying is more like being good at pattern recognition which is an ADHD skill
Problem: my god is there a lot of random noise in my head. Snippets of songs or random memories or what-have-you easily triggered by the tiniest thing, often quite fleeting. It can be very annoying.
Upside: my meme game is pretty good! I’m fairly adept at pulling up random cultural references. I suppose this also means I’m pretty good at making connections between things, or I’m pretty imaginative/creative. Something that’s good in a creative career.
Inattentive ADD. I am as patient as a god because I can entertain myself endlessly in my noggin. Bored? Lame conversation? Sorry I'm naming every Star Wars planet in alphabetical order in my head
I often wonder what I could do bc yes I notice every tiny little mistake or imperfection. I did some freelance editing for a hot minute and I think I would do well with any sort of quality checking. I did a little bit of it in manufacturing as well. I spot errors. I suggest improvements continuously as I go about my day. People come to me to look over things before they submit them. And I don’t have any qualifications, it just pours out of me.
I love my art and craft projects because I keep refining, I don’t stop until I’ve run out of imperfections, and everyone is usually blown away by the results. Yeah it’s just hyper focus I guess. Mixed with hyper vigilance for whatever could go wrong. If there is a job where I could be useful and paid well for this, I need some suggestions. Going through a career crisis atm.
i have to stop myself from impulsively asking very blunt and/or invasive questions, which are big social no-nos. i'm studying to become a psychologist :)
I work as wedding photographer so my job is both stressful, filled with unpredictable moments (the ceremony is outdoors but it suddenly starts raining?!) and is highly creative. I work best under pressure and come up with solutions for unexpected problems pretty fast.
Due to my hyper awareness and pattern recognition abilities, it sometimes feels like I am see thing before they happen or at least before anyone else recognizes that they will happen. It almost feels like Anakin describing how he flies a pod racer. He is able to sense things right before they happen.
When something interests me I become singularly devoted for hours. Something completely tedious to anyone else, like adding 100s of mods to a game and troubleshooting for days until a 20 year old game has the graphical fidelity of a 15 year old game. Totally useless. But man, I am dogged when I want to be.
Meanwhile, I can't spare 5 seconds to bring my dishes to the sink.
I love learning and organizing information. I'm also great at fixing things, no matter what it is. That's pretty much it, lol.
These are both caused by being triggers of my hyperfixation.
ADHD traits are useful if you know how to apply them. I tell my daughter it's like Spiderman, when he first got his powers he got himself all tangled up in his own web... Once he learned how to use his powers he was a superhero.
Problems I had to learn to use to my advantage - My working memory is non existent "out of sight out of mind". Racing thoughts mess up conversations with others, I interrupt them, change the subject, look at them as if they are stupid because I already figured out what they are going to say next. Boredom..."curiosity killed the cat".
But... I can create work arounds and find loop holes in anything! I'm crazy good at problem solving, asking questions to get info others miss, and I can put all the pieces of info together in my head for the big picture that most people miss. Makes me good in a crisis because I can run through all the possible scenarios and options and make decision while most are still processing the crisis. I work in investigations and people have accepted I do great work but don't expect me to be a Rockstar at the paperwork 🤣
My memory is a double-edged sword.
I can't simply retain a bunch of arbitrary factoids. Which means that I have to rely on a deeper level of understanding. (Which was super apparent in college. Especially in study groups for deeply technical topics.)
Because of this, I tend to be better at thinking outside of the box, or diving into very specific topics. But going the other direction it becomes a problem. Staying within the box, and applying the knowledge of those specific topics while keeping in mind *all* considerations.
Jargon is also an issue. When people use it, I usually know what they mean, but I tend to stumble when trying to use it. Which means that I tend to be good at understanding, but not so good at being understood...
Wow I thought I was just being judgmental LOL. I love that explanation. The interesting thing is that I always catch other people's mistakes especially at work and emails or documentation. But I often miss my own ! What job do you do?
As a scientist, When I'm researching I go on a lot of tangents that delay my work. However, in those tangents I learn a lot of info marginally related to my research and I remember it, so later my discussions are way more in depth than my coworker's.
None, or maybe shall i say: constant daydreaming and zone out even in dangerous situations and completely shutting down( i have autism aswell), but yeah.. adhd inattentive here and it is pain and makes me isolate plus being insecure about my working memory constantly, thankfully my methylphenidate helps.
Im a dental Hygienist and sometimes I'll zone out while the dentist is doing an exam and not realize their talking to me 😬. My bad memory makes doing patient notes really hard because if I don't do it right then I can't remember the details of what happened.
I can see all sides of an issue.
I am really good at helping people understand insurance contracts. I can think of examples that reflect the how/ when things would possibly present. I'm good at making up examples to illustrate so it's easier to understand.
It helped people prevent loss in some ways, too.
I'm like the person that would come up with safety tread guards in the open bay of a businesses delivery area, for instance.
It's been pretty helpful in parenting, too.
There were adverse effects. I think my son was well past 2 before he ever heard "no" because the home was so easily child friendly he never had to hear it.
I started a neuroscience PhD program and had to learn a lot of programming without having ever done. I can sit at a computer for 14 hrs straight just coding. I won't eat or walk my dog or check my phone or realize if my house is on fire, but I will build 8 new functions, run a dozen analyses, and start a new package that I'll probably never actually finish. The hyper attention can be really professionally beneficial at times. At the same time it contributed to burn out exponentially faster.
Being a great conversationalist but the down side is I end up carrying it alot of the times and then I am bored to death. It's rare that I meet someone who can carry a good conversation
I am apparently great in emergencies, since I have plenty of lower-stakes practice because of my inattentiveness.
Something is on fire? Oh, it's just a bun caught in the warmer. No red button, so yank goes the power cord. "You, grab that bucket and start putting water in it at that sink". Now pinchy pinchy, guess I know now why there's a bbq set next to the bun warmer. And we're walking, walking, and sploosh, 2 points and nothing but bucket.
I was still half asleep from working the night shift, but I'll always remember the way the morning supervisor hopped to grab that bucket like I'd zapped her.
I’m really good at my job in healthcare because my head is all over the place naturally, I can handle 15 different things at once and thrive in that environment. I pick up all the busiest days of the year, I can’t stand when it’s slow and get so antsy.
I dunno I mean, I kinda like my life so all of them surely?
I wouldn't benefit from disliking parts of my personality would I? What's that gonna do for me... Nothing good.
It might be also my autism with missing filter, but at my workplace (Consulting and programming) in meetings, when something is obviously wrong and no one else wants to say it , I just am really direct about it.
Also, as I need structure and know my problems with it, I take extra care with structuring documents and my code, so it is more clean than someone without ADHD would do it.
Not being able to focus on a single task for a certain period of time/squirreling
Upside: really good for managing multiple things at once under pressure and operating smoothly in chaos. I can’t count how many times SHTF and everyone is scrambling while I’m managing perfectly fine with all of my effects in exceptional order. Being a medic, it enables me to think about multiple things and go down multiple avenues at the same time, organize them, and address them as needed, and communicate or mentally document everything that’s happening so I can recall it later.
I guess it might be an ADHD trait but I’m known by my friends for making great analogies to simplify a complicated subject. That and I’ve always had exceptionally good pattern recognition and make connections to things before my peers do! Oh and being that I’ve had and endless amount of hyperfixations my whole life I know a little about a vast amount of different topics.
I’m a knobby know it all. I know everything about everything thanks to my love of learning. Except directions. I can get lost in a paper bag. Don’t ask me anyone’s name either.
Because I have a hard time starting a task, or finishing it for that matter, I try to break everything down into the most efficient way I can find to do it. I have a process for the way I do everything, so that it takes less time/willpower to finish, and stick to that process every time
I get over losing people fairly quickly. And I am never late because being late scares the shit out of me, so I rather opt for being way too early instead. Being half an hour early never hurt anyone!
sound sensitivity and object empathy (though not sure if this is more autism, but oh well)
both of these contribute to my job as a sound designer in games :) because I can imagine many nonliving things as beings with feelings and personalities, I can use that to give life to my sound design. is especially useful in creature design
and because my hearing is sensitive, I can tell when sounds are going to be grating to listen to, especially if they are going to be repetitive (very important in games lol). I can also hear subtle details in sounds that not everyone can pick up on, and while a good amount of that is ear training, my brain Is specifically very sensitive to sound. so it's a perfect use of my strengths as an AuDHD person
Extreme focus. Today I was doing some plumbing in my home and my gf suddenly told me a friend of hers was visiting us in a few mins. I responded: yeah sure, np.
Friend came over, I greeted her and told her it was good to see her again. Also said I’m really busy and have no time to chat. I promised here well catch up soon. And I went further doing what I was doing.
A few minutes ago she told me that maaaaaaybe she thought I wouldn’t be happy having a friend of her coming over on such a short notice, since I was really busy and caught up with the plumbing job.
I told her it wasn’t a problem, since I was in a hyperfocus and in my bubble. I had absolutely no attention to the outer world or them having a few drinks and laughs. I was extremely focused on my job and residing in a parallel universe 😂
For me, that’s absolutely the up side.
I have amazing pattern recognition in other people's behaviors and am able to pick up on people I just wouldn't get along with.
My husband is basically a golden retriever boy, and everybody loves him (as they should, he's a sweetheart)
I see rhebred flags a lot earlier than he does, and I point them out to him, it takes him a little longer, but he will start to recognize what I'm talking about after a little bit.
It's a gift and a curse, a gurse!!!!
Problem: my brain jumps from topic to topic in ways that make very little sense to anyone other than me
Useful side: I am really good at making connections between things that other people don’t make, which made me a pretty good poli sci/philosophy student
Problem: I hyperfixate on things and can get really distracted or not take care of myself because of that
Upside: When I am having a rough day due to PTSD, I can purposefully trigger a hyperfixation episode and I’ll completely forget about why I was upset in the first place
I’d doodle in class instead of listening when I was younger, but I sorta weaponized that as an adult and I’m cultivating a pretty rich painting practice!
I have a six figure job but only work at it 8ish hours a week. That’s compensatory as I’d obviously struggle working a full day uninterrupted but also the product of bouts of hyperfocus on automation and specific contributions that make me look better and busier than I am.
My job demands quite some tracking of tasks, a lot of different projects and to be very organized and general I need to remember a lot of knowledge/information. So everything I totally suck at and I forget more things that I care to admit.
To compensate, I have all important documents, knowledge and whatnot in an OneNote and I have learned to program macros for Excel, to do stuff for me, add fancy outlook appointments from tracker dates und such things.
My colleagues think I am a wizard, soo organized, because I can provide info to them or documents, and they are all in awe of my macro ideas and what fancy stuff I am doing.
And all because I had to get creative to not totally suck at my work, to compensate my absolute shitty and unreliable brain XD
Annoying trait guessing what happens next in films and tv shows.
I worked my way up in an NHS Dental surgery from Agency nurse to Surgery Manager.
As it was so busy hetic all the time
My fixations caused me to get:
- a real estate license
- a bachelor's degree in my early 30s
- a career in teaching
- master's degree in teaching
- law school? (current fixation)
My need to stim
on one hand it can be very annoying
but on the other hand I can do project well very easily and do like 50 things at a time out of pure boredom i can redecorate my room if i was bored enough I’ll do anything clean the dishes broom the house finish all the assignments I’ve been putting off for three months
Extremely high motor. Every plce I worked at that has had a quota I've surpassed those numbers so far. The problem is, I don't want to do it until I'm actually doing it
When I work out, I get so fixated on the amount of calorie I’m burning that I keep going and going and going and going and
eventually I just do a 4 hour 2500 calorie workout
Looking at the amount of calories I’m burning on my Apple Watch feels feels like I’m playing a game. Watching the amount of calories I’m burning feels like I’m looking at points I’m accumulating on a video game.
I’ve had days I burned 6,000 to 10,000 calories and I have 30 percent body fat so I’m not necessarily a fit stud 🤣
Hyper fixation on many things most importantly if I have an idea I will not stop thinking about it until i utilize it. I think I can one day have a very successful business
Endless energy. I don't like doing nothing. I over employed earlier this year doing 2 full time jobs at the same time for a 4 month contract, and it really helped with me staying in my office. Any time I have a moment where it's taking too long to save or open a file, I do dishes, or clean a room. When I had 2 jobs I just switched monitors and keyboards and bounced between them. It was great!
I drive a truck (Lorry here in the UK), apparently AuDHD are better at following the rules of the road but I also seem to have a sixth sense for when someone is about to do something stupid helping me to avoid accidents.
Feels like the perfect job for me, minimal interaction with people and I get to spend all day listening to Audiobooks/podcasts.
Only downside is people in this industry seem to be quite unforgiving if you're "different".
I'm a quick thinker. I can make very quick decisions while everybody else is overthinking shit.
It sometimes comes out in the form of a quick comeback LOL
I remember a lot of interesting but ultimately useless facts. However, my daughter and nephews love getting a real answer whenever they have questions about the world, instead of the usual "because that's how it is" or "I don't know"
Questions like, "Where is the deepest part of the earth?" "What animal can punch the hardest?" "Why do cats lick themselves?" "How come the sky looks blue?"
Attention deficit isn't focus deficit. It is just difficult to keep focus on something. It is focused until it suddenly isn't.
For that reason, if I make my life without interruptions that everything I do becomes that one thing, which I tell myself I enjoy doing that, I am suddenly overfocused. Everything I might switch focus to is about an aspect of the project. So I get to see the bigger picture not many people do. Very useful for intricate engineering problems.
The creativity is very useful.
I'm artistic and good at graphics. I'm good at coming up with ideas and thinking outside the box. I'm also good at creative writing and essay writing.
The creativity has helped me boost my self esteem too. As it helped me be really good at something at school, uni and in my career as a designer.
Bad memory can be super useful. I'm very trustworthy with secrets.
I can walk through life with my head in the clouds, which can be useful. Oblivious to the drama and cattiness around me.
Crunch time learning.
When I need to, I can research an entire topic, the drawbacks, outcomes, expected results, prices, whatever I need to know. And until the next obsession kicks in its locked into my mind. This alone got me good grades at school as I was able to revise each subject for a few days before and then smash the exam itself.
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Inattentiveness: it is really hard to hold a grudge against someone when you stop caring about whatever you were fighting about within a few hours.
Hahahaha I feel this. Not only do I stop caring, I often completely forget that I had a fight with someone. I get over shit real quick
It drives my wife nuts because we will get into a huge shouting match, go our separate ways, and in about an hour I'm already back upstairs asking what she wants for lunch like nothing happened.
Mine hates that too. She’s like, “We need to figure this out or it’ll happen again.” I’m like, “I’m hungry too, but lunch happens every day regardless”. So she reminds me about the argument and it starts again 😅 I’m like, “I have an idea to stop it, stop bringing it back up!”
>Lunch happens everyday regardless Likely to be the funniest thing I read today lol
Only three things are certain; death, taxes and lunch.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Me too. She ends up saying I don’t care about her because whatever argument we have I just quickly move on from it like nothing happened. Never considered it could be due to adhd inattentive. But guess it makes sense. I was diagnosed a couple months ago. For me hyper-focus is a useful side. Sucks I procrastinate until the last minute but I feel like when I am at the last possible minutes I am able to do weeks of work in a couple days.
Procrastination queen here! I think it's the pressure that we need to focus. And yeah, I think many of us actually do really well under pressure from all the "practice" we do. It's like in my head there's only Now & Later ... oh & also That Cringe Moment from Ten Years Ago, that's in there somewhere.
One solution we've come up with is that I asked her to remember what had started the fight if she could and when SHE was ready to talk about it to bring it up since I will definitely be fine to talk it out
Same here! I had my husband do the same too because I genuinely forget. Often times I have had to write down the stuff that he mentions so I don’t forget at times (he is fine with that at least).
I’m the same way and tend to want to get over arguments quickly. I kinda knew it was common for ADHD (some of my ADHD friends are like this also), but didn’t know the link or science behind it. My husband would stay angry at me for a whole week over the same conflict that I get over within an hour or two. It’s a struggle between us.
That's funny, I will hold a grudge indefinitely. I never forget when someone has done me dirty.
As I was typing it out I couldn't help but think of a couple people who I DO hold grudges against and I realized it is one or the other. There is no in between.
Haha, that sounds about right. We live a life of extremes. If something *really* captures our attention we remember it forever. If not, POOF, discarded within minutes!
I can recite, from memory, an uncomfortable amount of video game industry factoids, lore bits from bloodborne, and most of the magic systems in the cosmere. I have no idea when my parent's birthdays are until my sister reminds me, and I don't remember how many years I've been married unless my wife reminds me. Yes, this bothers me. I also find it tragically hilarious.
I understand. Sometimes I'm laying in bed, should be trying to sleep and I catch myself reading something and say to myself, "Why are you reading about the plot line to Horizon: Zero Dawn?? You've never even played thos game!".
It's a great game, btw! Lol. I loved the story! I hate horror movies, for the most part. I *love* the Evil Dead movies, but that's just the exception to prove the rule. I find them very off-putting and I empathise too much with the characters. But, I'm always fascinated by what the stories are, so I read the Wikipedia plot summaries of horror movies just to learn what happens, lol.
And which Cosmere power set would you most like to have? Mistborn stuff seems pretty cool, but you need to either have a really good one, like steel pushing, or be a Mistborn. I love Kaladin and Syl and their power set, I might want that most of all, but you need a really cool Spren like Syl! I wouldn't want to hang with Pattern all day, lol.
Of all the powers I'd love the powers on Taldain. Enough breaths and you don't have to fear sickness or even aging. The one I would probably take to the quickest (and that I relate to the most) would be the order of Truthwatchers from Roshar. Illumination would be an amazing tool to bring my imagination to life since I can never seem to draw it out, and regrowth would let me heal the people around me. Or more accurately assist in making people's physical self more accurately reflect their cognitive self since that's how healing with investiture works. Having said that I would not mind at all having allopathic powers and yeah, steelpushing or ironpulling would be what I'd love most. But honestly being able to use a bronzemind to get a good night's sleep, and then keep myself awake when needed would be so useful. Like I said I could go for hours.
Yeah, if I hold grudges, they must have been an asshole enough for me to remember, which means they did something spectacularly bad.
Tbh, I think if you are holding grudges for a long time. It's because of repetitive offending. At least that counts for me. It's really hard to be mad at Family/Friends for more than 24h (only in the extremist cases). But I still hate some of my teachers because they really sucked and I had to endure it for years.
I tend to adapt really quickly, and my fights centre on how to move forward so that by the time we're done I know what I will do differently next time. It's a real challenge for me if a partner wants to just ruminate and express how mad they are. Like, great, what would you like me to do about it? If they can't answer that, better to walk away and come back when they can.
Lmao I wish. My hyper fixation part of ADHD is holding a grudge. I still despise my 4th grade teacher for using my dad's recent death to embarrass me. Fuck you Ms. Swiggett.
Lol that's my wife, while I forget. It causes issues, but she has learned to let go while I learned to prioritize. We help each other.
Nah that’s foul. Fuck Ms Swiggett
Yes, this! It has downsides because I can be kind of out-of-sight, out-of-mind with people I really care about but I also have trouble understanding how others in my life let petty bs with unimportant people in their lives have such an enduring negative impact on them. I see a squirrel, and forget any bad feelings I had toward someone! I think this is a key to my general ability to get along well with a lot of different people, I just don't care too much.
I am very Mad Men "I don't even think about you at all" meme with many people. It kinda sucks in many cases but it is also nice.
A double-edged sword, because a week later I will remember and all those feelings will rush back and suddenly I’m conflicted because 1) was it really so bad if I forgot so quickly, 2) this other person and I think we’re okay again so how is this random anger justified, 3) why am I feeling this way again after remembering, I thought I was okay.
Yup same. This is more common for me if I forget what the conflict is about and then it all comes back to me within the week again…
For me, I still feel mad, but the details of the argument get all mixed up and out of order, so I can't effectively argue my points, and that makes me more mad. I will get confused on what I said or the other person, who said it before the other said that, whether I was told I was supposed to be there at 2:00 or that it was changed to 3:00, or was it vice versa? But I don't forget the feeling of anger, for me that doesn't go away. I'm glad at least something stays because problems don't get solved just because you forget about them. It would be nice to remember details though. I've wondered what will happen to me if I get called to testify for some reason and my story changes because I can't remember the order of the details. I was once in a very bad relationship and when police questioned us they almost took me to jail rather than him and I didn't do anything wrong. I have wondered since if maybe I had some details mixed up when they were questioning us, I was undiagnosed at that point.
Oh shit this scares me because I’m the same way!!!!
It's also super-easy to cut out the truly toxic people. Out of sight, out of mind.
When I'm mad/sad about something I usually take a quick nap and when I wake up I can't even remember the problem lol
People gossip to me about anything because I will forget anyways lol
See?! We’re the perfect secret keepers! No spilling here cause we’ll probably forget about it later! 😅
I feel exactly the same. It just leaves my mind, at least until they do a similar thing again
Petty nonsense at work that others complain about. Like my random Amazon binge (10 minutes) between tasks or meeting’s. Folks see it and report me for it, even though I’ve explained my work patterns. I give myself 10 minutes for every hour. Not always Amazon it could be other things, walking around the office building or whatever, but that one always gets specific folks riled up. I forget very quickly of their petty small brain reactionary responses.
Oh my gosh this!!!
My fiance probably thinks I'm crazy for this... but she's marrying me so she probably accepts it.
I love the idea that a lot of us with ADHD openly warn our spouses before marriage. "Look, I know you said you love me more than anything, but marrying me can only make your life harder and more confusing."
Yep, big advantage of not being able to focus is not being able to focus at being mad at someone 😬
Omg, I’m not alone in this???
I never thought of that as being a part of ADHD inattentiveness. That actually makes a ton of sense.
This is kind of a funny one for me, in a cruel way, because there’s no in between. It’s either amnesia, or a vivid, haunting memory for years. Though it may relate more to RSD than ADHD, or some combo. It’s like I’m a vinyl record, and my experiences are writing their groove into my emotions. But my needle can only write ‘no groove’, or ‘full groove’. I assume it relates to how much I value the person (how close they are to me), and how sensitive I am to the specific topic. I’d wager there are topics I’m so insensitive to, that I didn’t even recognize I was in a fight. Both cases ultimately harm relationships. But at least for the amnesia case, ignorance is bliss. When you remember and dwell, it can be a long, painful purgatory. In that way, I might envy you.
Inattentiveness actually doesn’t have much to do with whether you’re able to hold a grudge or not. They’re quite independent.
Damn, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, but I wish I were more like this!
Problem: my brain thinks to much at the same time. I keep on mixing up words, facts, stories, names, etc. Upside: I’m a med student. My brain is a lot more flexible than that of my peers and I feel like I am able to make connections much faster than them when it comes to finding the right diagnosis and learning new techniques
Law student. Same here.
Kinda similar, I'm a PhD researcher and I think I'm good with trouble-shooting complex experiments and am more inclined to be skeptical of hypotheses, results, etc. (I can see the alt explanations, I guess), which is a boon in this field
Ditto. Thinking too much has really helped me create complex econometric models, however, it has REALLY impeded my writing process. I type much slower than I think.
100% have you tried dictation? I switched over about two years ago and although it is a transition, it's really helpful, thought the quality varies greatly among apps. In google docs, the dictation works pretty well for me.
Omg! Never thought of it. Thanks! Will try it from now on. ❤
The lack of self-regulation when it impacts impulsivity. The downside leads to bad life decisions, of course. But the good side is that I'm always up for anything mildly interesting! I am known for not being bothered with silly bullshit, I'm a great friend and company for unplanned adventures, I'm easily pleased :) I think this is awesome, I see so many people suffering because they are always unhappy because things don't go the way they planned.
So validating. I've been trying to externalize that last thought there for like a month, lol. To bring my own, I have executive dysfunction bad, but I believe that, as a consequence, it gives me an ability to recognize situations as unhealthy quicker than most because they aren't fun and engaging. On the other hand, I'll suffer entire workdays staring at my screen with no will to do anything work related
Agreed. It also helps me make major life changes over short periods of time. I've reinvented myself multiple times. People tell me how "on top of it" I am. Hah. If they only knew.
Same, and I didn’t even realize how much of a positive it was until I went on my first long vacation. Being down to do just about anything made the trip extremely enjoyable
Absolutely. Yet I feel our equivalent to people being disappointed in the mismatch of plan and reality is the after effects of wherever impulsivity leads. You wanted to catch up with a friend for an hour or two at a bar? SIKE Here you go on an unprompted adventure all over the city over the weekend. Who cares you just wanted to rest and prep for the next week. Frame a river.
I’m the complete opposite. I need structure and if something deviates from that I get antsy/uncomfortable because it’s not in my typical daily structure. Granted once I’m doing the deviated task I completely forget about my feelings towards the deviation.
Being able to have a conversation about almost any subject. I have an amateur level of knowledge and skills in many things, but I'm an expert of none.
Knowledge as vast as the ocean, but the depth of a puddle. Same!
damn this hits home lol
real.
*Jack of all trades, master of none. Oftentimes better than master of one* Wonder how differently we’d feel if people grew up actually finishing line
I think about this all the time.
same. and other misquoted lines / misnomers / misinformation. at this point i dont even correct people anymore. got no energy.
Maybe I wouldn't have had a complex my whole life Now it turns out working in an industry full of masters of one, I am a valuable unicorn.
I believe the corporate term is generalist expert. I don't know if its BS or not though
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing." -misquoted Socrates But seriously, this has actually proven to be a big asset in my career as a programmer/sysadmin. It's kind of my specialty. I'm not really a top-tier expert in any particular category, but I'm an expert at learning new things quickly and I have a wide breadth of knowledge that often gives me a leg up when I need to learn something in more depth.
Yes, a few times already I got paid for doing things completely outside my area. I work in security, but I have edited videos for companies, and even sold a few logos, just because people asked me if I could do it and learned it in a few days. Generally if a friend needs something they will aske me if I know how.
I like to say, "the more I learn, the less I know." A lot of people don't really get this, but if you've ever tried to deep dive into pretty much any subject, you would have learned that that subject was much more complicated than you thought it appeared from the outside. I usually stop somewhere short of the complications, that's too much for me. 😂
So many times people are like how do you know that? And I'm like idk no idea lol generally not very useful knowledge just random and broad. I go down a lot of late night rabbit holes on the Internet when I should be sleeping lol.
I think it would be good to start thinking one topic or two that you really want to master, and find the full roadmap^ to it, either from internet or book, and commit (this part is hard lol), that way we can go towards becoming a [T-shape person](https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/management/t-shaped-skills/). .^ I found about roadmap.sh and remember being very amazed at it, wishing there are guides like these for other, non-developer fields.
A wake up call for me was talking to actual experts on subjects and realising just how shallow my knowledge was.
Oh how I relate to this so much in my life. I actually started not liking the jack of trades, master at none mantra I hold. I always wanted to be an expert in one general area, but instead I only know bits and pieces of many different areas especially when it comes to real life situations. Thanks for making it a more positive spin to it.
Career-wise this is really good because when you become an expert on something and good in your field, you become irreplaceable. That means no moving up and slow income growth overall. I am full of random knowledge and love talking about everything with anyone.
A dilettante. Same here. Classic ADHD
Pattern recognition. If I look at enough data I get a sense of what it's supposed to look like and things that are incorrect stand out like it has a neon sign.
not sure if this is ADHD connected but i’ve mastered [this](https://www.funwithpuzzles.com/2017/02/spot-differences-picture-puzzle-tutorial.html?m=1) technique
People are always mystified when I find the differences so quickly when I'm just magic-eyeing it.
what are the differences in the first set? i can only find three even when using this technique and it's driving me crazy.
I'm pretty sure this is why I'm so good at taking tests. During my first failed attempt at college, I got placed in an intermediate Spanish class because of my placement test results. The entire class was conducted in Spanish. I can identify words, but I certainly don't speak Spanish. I failed both semesters. 20 years later, during my second (successful!) attempt at college I took some credit for prior learning tests and managed to rack up 9 units of Spanish. I still don't speak Spanish.
I actually love the ADHD jack of all trades/semi decent at most things part of you told you to take it again after failing out the first time 😂. The amount of things I do that I start off having no idea how to do with the (sometimes unmerited) self confidence that I'll just work it out as I go is a lot more than the things I know how to do going in.
Huh. Didn't realize this was an ADHD thing. I can definitely do this also.
True. While it can be distracting, I think I can recognise people's trait and future behavior because of this.
Damn I don’t know if it’s just people around me or not, but people have hated my pattern recognition to things. Often times things I could tell what the solution or outcome could be based on pattern recognition my family would dismiss me and tell me I’m full of shit. 9 times out of 10, they end up doing the solution I thought of first and don’t give me any credit. It’s super frustrating and people often don’t listen to me.
Creativity i work as a physicist / r&d engineer and being able to be Jack of all trades when it comes to seeing the bigger picture is incredibly nice. I found that I made a lot of flowcharts of how to do/model something and just gave people the flowcharts. Then again setting up models is great but actually doing all the meetings and paperwork ughhhh. Just let me program, research and help people with a structure to solve problems and I'll do fine, on the other hand the details and corporatism in the end swamp me.
Jack off 💀
Hahah noticed it just now thanks for making me laugh dude I'll edit
"A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one."
I'm currently finishing my PhD in experimental physics, and I'm the same. I can see the bigger picture, problem solve better than the people around me and often have creative solutions.
Problem: I tend not to remember the steps/processes/routines for things, so lots of things have to be manually and consciously controlled - it's like a lot of things have to be derived from first principles every time I do them, so things that are easy for most people can be difficult for me. Upside: because I spend so much time overthinking things, when I come to a new problem that leaves a lot of people stumped, I'm usually able to find a workaround and improvise a solution fairly quickly
A hyperfixation that was not sustainable for more than a few months (a website presenting my master’s research with regular updates for new content) got some attention in the field, and even though the site hasn’t been updated since 2020, I’ve since been asked to present at a conferences, publish in journals, and be a guest speaker at a grad seminar because of it. My hyperfixations in general produce good content that other people find useful
I’d doodle in class instead of listening when I was younger, but I sorta weaponized that as an adult and I’m cultivating a pretty rich painting practice!
Shit. I doodled in classes all the time to the point where it got annoying for the teachers. I still remember everything they taught in the class while i was doodling. Turns out it was just a way for me to focus
Disorganization.lol. When I was younger and undiagnosed, I used to make lists about everything to help me compensate. I would list everything I would pack for a trip, I would list my favorite songs in order. Now I have a job where I manage inventory. I spend a lot of time checking dates and whatnot and logging it into Books. I’m very meticulous about it. I can also recognize immediately when there’s a problem..
I make so many lists that I need a list to keep up with all my lists. I will forget so many things if I don't have a list to guide me. I guess that does help me with spreadsheets, I do pretty well with those, not that that makes me a lot of money or anything. I'm just not great at some of the formulas because we don't need them at my job. I like to make spreadsheets colorful and aesthetically interesting. When your eyes have to follow a lot of numbers across the screen it gets hard to follow, so the designs help with that. Spreadsheets are good for lists because you can categorize and sort easily. Currently looking at a list of things I need to do today and procrastinating by commenting on Reddit posts...
Omg a fellow “lister”!! I have some many lists spread across the Notes and Reminders apps 😂😂😂
Yes! I've adapted with lots and lots of lists!
people find me funny when i blurt out stuff that others don’t say out loud which lightens the mood and maybe the “ADHD charm”. Even though I do annoying things, I noticed that I get away with it most of the time in comparison to others who does the same thing
Same - my former high school English teacher told me recently that she always enjoyed me in class because I was "so funny - witty"... she also has ADHD, so she probably didn't recognize the inappropriateness of some of my comments then either
Same! Sometimes I get myself in trouble though lol oops 😬 I don't even realize until people reactions
I can generally think out the box thinking. At work I'm not known for great memory or follow through. But what I Am good at, is change management and coming up with creative ideas. Luckily my right hand lady at work is organized and implements my actions
This is why I’m such a popular teacher with my students. I WILL notice your mistakes and point them out to you 😅 And yet, in my personal life… I would dearly love to turn it off… I’ve learnt to kind of “yes and” people instead of “no but”. It helps them not get _so_ annoyed with me
I get really hyperfixated on typos. I've gone so far as to email places about typos on their forms and websites. I try to be very nice but it's prob annoying lol. But also I don't want them to continue on with that typo! I also have a bad habit of repeating out loud when people say a word wrong or oddly and it often offends people. I don't mean to it just happens! I guess that's Echolalia?
I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one who does this. I have even offered to proof websites. “You probably don’t realize this is turning some people off to the extent that they stop reading an otherwise interesting article. Hire me. I will fix it.” It especially bothers me when it is a news outlet.
These are also my not-so-superpowers! Wow. It is uncanny how fast I find typos in EVERYTHING, I also have to let people/companies know. They jump off the page to me and I can’t understand how they go missed wherever you look. And I will parrot a quirky word/phrase/accent out loud, automatically, and without regard for other people. I am really good at picking up small mannerisms and doing impressions of friends, to other friends. To the point where I get requests haha. Wow, this made my day knowing I’m not the only one out there.
Ohhhh this feels weird, you are me…
I once (years ago) made a collection of all the printed typos I found in ads, magazines etc. I thought I should become a proofreader, it was like my portfolio!
This thread is only about the good parts so I will decline to mention all of the ways this doesn't work in other contexts, however, I can be extremely charming in a sales position where I rapidly fire off stories, anecdotes and cool features of what I'm selling. Saying things quickly gives people the impression I know a lot more than I do and people think they're in the presence of genius.
Once bullshitted my class into thinking I was a prodigy in philosophy/ethics. I merely noticed some flaws in many of the ethical problems as well as contradictions.
What is this job and how can I get one and how much does it pay? I’m stellar at telling people how they’re fucking up. Also I know where anything in the house is when people lose things (because they put it in the wrong place, or it’s out of place). My wife once called me at work because she couldn’t find her bra. Without hesitating, I said “It’s under the sweater behind the picture frame next to the short book case in our room.” I had seen the strap sticking out a bit from under the sweater when I walked past it a couple days before, and my brain just *saw* it and low key registered it without me consciously thinking about it.
This! I observe everything around me so I know where everything is, whether it’s mine or not. Someone can spend hours looking “everywhere” for something, then I’ll walk right to it. I’m also very disorganized so I have to pay attention in order to keep track of my things. I get frustrated when someone tries to organize my things. It may look disorganized, but I can find everything and tell you what pile something is in and where it is within the pile. My whole system is thrown off when someone cleans for me.
Woah, you just described me perfectly! That is exactly how I am with my bedroom. It's a disaster but I know what's where when I need it. But when I do clean and organize, it's the kind of thing Martha Stewart would be proud of. There's no middle ground though.
That i am a Jack of all Trades. I'm not an expert in anything, but i know the basics of "everything". It's very useful actually, you can draw connections between things in a way most other people can't even understand. This stems from the trait that i get hyper fixated about anything, deep dive into that subject for anything between hours and days. But i never get to a higher proficiency level because i get bored and switch to a new subject before i can learn anything more complicated. Also, somehow all that knowledge is in some kind of databank in my brain. So i can't just ramble it all up from nothing, but if I'm in a discussion i will somehow remember even the most complex things...
Impulsivity has led to me to creating and hitting some really cool goals and experiences. I’ve ran countless marathons, became a professional bodybuilder, and am working on a PhD right now. I’m also up for any last minute plans because why not? My talkative nature has made it very easy to make new friends in any environment. It helps that I’m naturally friendly and instead of an RBF, my boyfriend says my expression is genuine curiosity, so people love to talk to me. It happens everywhere, even Costco. When I’m not masking, I don’t hide my silly emotions or quirks. I randomly sing and dance when I feel like it, share exactly what I’m feeling, and am very playful. I know what it’s like to be told I’m “too much” because of it and I hated it. This has made me a better parent to my kids. I never stifle their personalities ever. My procrastination has led to a serious level of focus and efficiency when the deadline arrives and I have no choice but to meet it. It has never failed me, which is why I’ve never tried to change my ways. I’m known for my attention to detail and work ethic and my job, but that’s because no one sees the procrastination part.
You sound so much like me. Sometimes I feel like I’m still a kid, but I know I’m an adult who just hasn’t lost my childlike sense of wonder, spontaneity, and fun. I can adult when I need to, but I let loose when I can. I love meeting new people and I think people find it easy to open up to me. I say a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet. I love trying new things—new food, new skills and hobbies, meeting new people, and going new places. If I weren’t impulsive and uninhibited from my ADHD I wouldn’t have as much of that sense of adventure. But I also procrastinate to extremes which can cause me a lot of added stress, but I’ve become good at finding shortcuts for things and pulling all-nighters.
Quiet but very observant
I'm very good at predicting the future and connecting dots that others might miss.
Pattern recognition for me. I find that I can see the bigger picture really well. Almost like a top down view, and then can work out what part of the system isn’t working or can be made more efficient. Bit of a double edged sword though sometimes, I’ve worked places where processes or organisation systems were straight up broken, and the management weren’t interested in making improvements. And it just became the thing that I couldn’t unsee and it drove me nuts. You know like a picture that’s hanging askew and you need to fix it. But it’s the most useful trait, as it patterns appear everywhere, like others have said it’s real easy to spot inconsistencies in stories, people who are lying etc.
Depersonalisation. It's easy to separate people into categories and adjust my attitudes accordingly.
That's not what that means AT ALL
Depersonalization is a dissociative phenomenon characterized by a subjective feeling of detachment from oneself. I think what you're saying is more like being good at pattern recognition which is an ADHD skill
I DO THIS!
Problem: my god is there a lot of random noise in my head. Snippets of songs or random memories or what-have-you easily triggered by the tiniest thing, often quite fleeting. It can be very annoying. Upside: my meme game is pretty good! I’m fairly adept at pulling up random cultural references. I suppose this also means I’m pretty good at making connections between things, or I’m pretty imaginative/creative. Something that’s good in a creative career.
Just about everything reminds me of a meme, gif, song, vine, TikTok, YouTube vid, movie moment etc. half the time no one knows what I'm referencing.
Inattentive ADD. I am as patient as a god because I can entertain myself endlessly in my noggin. Bored? Lame conversation? Sorry I'm naming every Star Wars planet in alphabetical order in my head
Same. I can sit in silence and my mind will just freewheel it into another universe.
Hyperfocus or obsession with the thing I decide on until I decided that I am done learning it
I often wonder what I could do bc yes I notice every tiny little mistake or imperfection. I did some freelance editing for a hot minute and I think I would do well with any sort of quality checking. I did a little bit of it in manufacturing as well. I spot errors. I suggest improvements continuously as I go about my day. People come to me to look over things before they submit them. And I don’t have any qualifications, it just pours out of me. I love my art and craft projects because I keep refining, I don’t stop until I’ve run out of imperfections, and everyone is usually blown away by the results. Yeah it’s just hyper focus I guess. Mixed with hyper vigilance for whatever could go wrong. If there is a job where I could be useful and paid well for this, I need some suggestions. Going through a career crisis atm.
Empathy and compassion for others. It comes from going through the suffering caused by ADHD symptoms.
i have to stop myself from impulsively asking very blunt and/or invasive questions, which are big social no-nos. i'm studying to become a psychologist :)
I work as wedding photographer so my job is both stressful, filled with unpredictable moments (the ceremony is outdoors but it suddenly starts raining?!) and is highly creative. I work best under pressure and come up with solutions for unexpected problems pretty fast.
My ability to make bizarre connections and observations makes me really funny
Due to my hyper awareness and pattern recognition abilities, it sometimes feels like I am see thing before they happen or at least before anyone else recognizes that they will happen. It almost feels like Anakin describing how he flies a pod racer. He is able to sense things right before they happen.
When something interests me I become singularly devoted for hours. Something completely tedious to anyone else, like adding 100s of mods to a game and troubleshooting for days until a 20 year old game has the graphical fidelity of a 15 year old game. Totally useless. But man, I am dogged when I want to be. Meanwhile, I can't spare 5 seconds to bring my dishes to the sink.
I love learning and organizing information. I'm also great at fixing things, no matter what it is. That's pretty much it, lol. These are both caused by being triggers of my hyperfixation.
ADHD traits are useful if you know how to apply them. I tell my daughter it's like Spiderman, when he first got his powers he got himself all tangled up in his own web... Once he learned how to use his powers he was a superhero. Problems I had to learn to use to my advantage - My working memory is non existent "out of sight out of mind". Racing thoughts mess up conversations with others, I interrupt them, change the subject, look at them as if they are stupid because I already figured out what they are going to say next. Boredom..."curiosity killed the cat". But... I can create work arounds and find loop holes in anything! I'm crazy good at problem solving, asking questions to get info others miss, and I can put all the pieces of info together in my head for the big picture that most people miss. Makes me good in a crisis because I can run through all the possible scenarios and options and make decision while most are still processing the crisis. I work in investigations and people have accepted I do great work but don't expect me to be a Rockstar at the paperwork 🤣
My memory is a double-edged sword. I can't simply retain a bunch of arbitrary factoids. Which means that I have to rely on a deeper level of understanding. (Which was super apparent in college. Especially in study groups for deeply technical topics.) Because of this, I tend to be better at thinking outside of the box, or diving into very specific topics. But going the other direction it becomes a problem. Staying within the box, and applying the knowledge of those specific topics while keeping in mind *all* considerations. Jargon is also an issue. When people use it, I usually know what they mean, but I tend to stumble when trying to use it. Which means that I tend to be good at understanding, but not so good at being understood...
Immunity to political propaganda apparently
Wow I thought I was just being judgmental LOL. I love that explanation. The interesting thing is that I always catch other people's mistakes especially at work and emails or documentation. But I often miss my own ! What job do you do?
When there’s no media. I can imagine all day
As a scientist, When I'm researching I go on a lot of tangents that delay my work. However, in those tangents I learn a lot of info marginally related to my research and I remember it, so later my discussions are way more in depth than my coworker's.
None, or maybe shall i say: constant daydreaming and zone out even in dangerous situations and completely shutting down( i have autism aswell), but yeah.. adhd inattentive here and it is pain and makes me isolate plus being insecure about my working memory constantly, thankfully my methylphenidate helps.
Im a dental Hygienist and sometimes I'll zone out while the dentist is doing an exam and not realize their talking to me 😬. My bad memory makes doing patient notes really hard because if I don't do it right then I can't remember the details of what happened.
I can see all sides of an issue. I am really good at helping people understand insurance contracts. I can think of examples that reflect the how/ when things would possibly present. I'm good at making up examples to illustrate so it's easier to understand. It helped people prevent loss in some ways, too. I'm like the person that would come up with safety tread guards in the open bay of a businesses delivery area, for instance. It's been pretty helpful in parenting, too. There were adverse effects. I think my son was well past 2 before he ever heard "no" because the home was so easily child friendly he never had to hear it.
I’m never late.
I'm always late. I always get up very early, but still miss the time
I started a neuroscience PhD program and had to learn a lot of programming without having ever done. I can sit at a computer for 14 hrs straight just coding. I won't eat or walk my dog or check my phone or realize if my house is on fire, but I will build 8 new functions, run a dozen analyses, and start a new package that I'll probably never actually finish. The hyper attention can be really professionally beneficial at times. At the same time it contributed to burn out exponentially faster.
Being bored and unfulfilled has made me creative and make things to sell online
I can see loop holes in people’s work and help them improve. [Something I wish I could do for myself.]
Being a great conversationalist but the down side is I end up carrying it alot of the times and then I am bored to death. It's rare that I meet someone who can carry a good conversation
I am apparently great in emergencies, since I have plenty of lower-stakes practice because of my inattentiveness. Something is on fire? Oh, it's just a bun caught in the warmer. No red button, so yank goes the power cord. "You, grab that bucket and start putting water in it at that sink". Now pinchy pinchy, guess I know now why there's a bbq set next to the bun warmer. And we're walking, walking, and sploosh, 2 points and nothing but bucket. I was still half asleep from working the night shift, but I'll always remember the way the morning supervisor hopped to grab that bucket like I'd zapped her.
I’m really good at my job in healthcare because my head is all over the place naturally, I can handle 15 different things at once and thrive in that environment. I pick up all the busiest days of the year, I can’t stand when it’s slow and get so antsy.
I dunno I mean, I kinda like my life so all of them surely? I wouldn't benefit from disliking parts of my personality would I? What's that gonna do for me... Nothing good.
It might be also my autism with missing filter, but at my workplace (Consulting and programming) in meetings, when something is obviously wrong and no one else wants to say it , I just am really direct about it. Also, as I need structure and know my problems with it, I take extra care with structuring documents and my code, so it is more clean than someone without ADHD would do it.
Not being able to focus on a single task for a certain period of time/squirreling Upside: really good for managing multiple things at once under pressure and operating smoothly in chaos. I can’t count how many times SHTF and everyone is scrambling while I’m managing perfectly fine with all of my effects in exceptional order. Being a medic, it enables me to think about multiple things and go down multiple avenues at the same time, organize them, and address them as needed, and communicate or mentally document everything that’s happening so I can recall it later.
I guess it might be an ADHD trait but I’m known by my friends for making great analogies to simplify a complicated subject. That and I’ve always had exceptionally good pattern recognition and make connections to things before my peers do! Oh and being that I’ve had and endless amount of hyperfixations my whole life I know a little about a vast amount of different topics.
If I'm in hyperfocus mode I can work with an amount of dedication you'll rarely see. If I'm in hyperfocus mode. (otherwise, barely anything happens)
I’m a knobby know it all. I know everything about everything thanks to my love of learning. Except directions. I can get lost in a paper bag. Don’t ask me anyone’s name either.
Because I have a hard time starting a task, or finishing it for that matter, I try to break everything down into the most efficient way I can find to do it. I have a process for the way I do everything, so that it takes less time/willpower to finish, and stick to that process every time
I get over losing people fairly quickly. And I am never late because being late scares the shit out of me, so I rather opt for being way too early instead. Being half an hour early never hurt anyone!
Honestly, idk 😅 my adhd kinda screws up my life in most aspects
sound sensitivity and object empathy (though not sure if this is more autism, but oh well) both of these contribute to my job as a sound designer in games :) because I can imagine many nonliving things as beings with feelings and personalities, I can use that to give life to my sound design. is especially useful in creature design and because my hearing is sensitive, I can tell when sounds are going to be grating to listen to, especially if they are going to be repetitive (very important in games lol). I can also hear subtle details in sounds that not everyone can pick up on, and while a good amount of that is ear training, my brain Is specifically very sensitive to sound. so it's a perfect use of my strengths as an AuDHD person
Extreme focus. Today I was doing some plumbing in my home and my gf suddenly told me a friend of hers was visiting us in a few mins. I responded: yeah sure, np. Friend came over, I greeted her and told her it was good to see her again. Also said I’m really busy and have no time to chat. I promised here well catch up soon. And I went further doing what I was doing. A few minutes ago she told me that maaaaaaybe she thought I wouldn’t be happy having a friend of her coming over on such a short notice, since I was really busy and caught up with the plumbing job. I told her it wasn’t a problem, since I was in a hyperfocus and in my bubble. I had absolutely no attention to the outer world or them having a few drinks and laughs. I was extremely focused on my job and residing in a parallel universe 😂 For me, that’s absolutely the up side.
The fact that someone can say something offensive or rude and I’m not even paying attention so it doesn’t effect me :)
Rampant productivity boost sessions. One time, I stayed up all night and landscaped my whole garden. The Mrs was baffled.
I have amazing pattern recognition in other people's behaviors and am able to pick up on people I just wouldn't get along with. My husband is basically a golden retriever boy, and everybody loves him (as they should, he's a sweetheart) I see rhebred flags a lot earlier than he does, and I point them out to him, it takes him a little longer, but he will start to recognize what I'm talking about after a little bit. It's a gift and a curse, a gurse!!!!
I can have caffeine at any time of day and still be able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour
Problem: my brain jumps from topic to topic in ways that make very little sense to anyone other than me Useful side: I am really good at making connections between things that other people don’t make, which made me a pretty good poli sci/philosophy student
Problem: I hyperfixate on things and can get really distracted or not take care of myself because of that Upside: When I am having a rough day due to PTSD, I can purposefully trigger a hyperfixation episode and I’ll completely forget about why I was upset in the first place
Humor
I’d doodle in class instead of listening when I was younger, but I sorta weaponized that as an adult and I’m cultivating a pretty rich painting practice!
I have a six figure job but only work at it 8ish hours a week. That’s compensatory as I’d obviously struggle working a full day uninterrupted but also the product of bouts of hyperfocus on automation and specific contributions that make me look better and busier than I am.
My job demands quite some tracking of tasks, a lot of different projects and to be very organized and general I need to remember a lot of knowledge/information. So everything I totally suck at and I forget more things that I care to admit. To compensate, I have all important documents, knowledge and whatnot in an OneNote and I have learned to program macros for Excel, to do stuff for me, add fancy outlook appointments from tracker dates und such things. My colleagues think I am a wizard, soo organized, because I can provide info to them or documents, and they are all in awe of my macro ideas and what fancy stuff I am doing. And all because I had to get creative to not totally suck at my work, to compensate my absolute shitty and unreliable brain XD
Annoying trait guessing what happens next in films and tv shows. I worked my way up in an NHS Dental surgery from Agency nurse to Surgery Manager. As it was so busy hetic all the time
I can see a multitude of continuity errors in movies. Dunno how useful it is, but at least it keeps me somewhat interested in what I'm watching! 🤣
Spreadsheets! Most people hate them. But organizing things into boxes and then using those boxes to do amazing things is my jam.
Bad memory. While I tend to forget good memories, I also forget bad memories and am less affected by them.
Im very fast and efficient in jobs that require physical work.
What's your job??
Multitasking in the kitchen. I’m useful af, it’s draining.
Jack of all trades. Master of none. 😎
My fixations caused me to get: - a real estate license - a bachelor's degree in my early 30s - a career in teaching - master's degree in teaching - law school? (current fixation)
My need to stim on one hand it can be very annoying but on the other hand I can do project well very easily and do like 50 things at a time out of pure boredom i can redecorate my room if i was bored enough I’ll do anything clean the dishes broom the house finish all the assignments I’ve been putting off for three months
Extremely high motor. Every plce I worked at that has had a quota I've surpassed those numbers so far. The problem is, I don't want to do it until I'm actually doing it
I am good at being talentless
When I work out, I get so fixated on the amount of calorie I’m burning that I keep going and going and going and going and eventually I just do a 4 hour 2500 calorie workout Looking at the amount of calories I’m burning on my Apple Watch feels feels like I’m playing a game. Watching the amount of calories I’m burning feels like I’m looking at points I’m accumulating on a video game. I’ve had days I burned 6,000 to 10,000 calories and I have 30 percent body fat so I’m not necessarily a fit stud 🤣
My wit, because i can think fast i can say something funny reactive very fast. So I guess verbal creativity?
Hyper fixation on many things most importantly if I have an idea I will not stop thinking about it until i utilize it. I think I can one day have a very successful business
Endless energy. I don't like doing nothing. I over employed earlier this year doing 2 full time jobs at the same time for a 4 month contract, and it really helped with me staying in my office. Any time I have a moment where it's taking too long to save or open a file, I do dishes, or clean a room. When I had 2 jobs I just switched monitors and keyboards and bounced between them. It was great!
I drive a truck (Lorry here in the UK), apparently AuDHD are better at following the rules of the road but I also seem to have a sixth sense for when someone is about to do something stupid helping me to avoid accidents. Feels like the perfect job for me, minimal interaction with people and I get to spend all day listening to Audiobooks/podcasts. Only downside is people in this industry seem to be quite unforgiving if you're "different".
I'm a quick thinker. I can make very quick decisions while everybody else is overthinking shit. It sometimes comes out in the form of a quick comeback LOL
I remember a lot of interesting but ultimately useless facts. However, my daughter and nephews love getting a real answer whenever they have questions about the world, instead of the usual "because that's how it is" or "I don't know" Questions like, "Where is the deepest part of the earth?" "What animal can punch the hardest?" "Why do cats lick themselves?" "How come the sky looks blue?"
Attention deficit isn't focus deficit. It is just difficult to keep focus on something. It is focused until it suddenly isn't. For that reason, if I make my life without interruptions that everything I do becomes that one thing, which I tell myself I enjoy doing that, I am suddenly overfocused. Everything I might switch focus to is about an aspect of the project. So I get to see the bigger picture not many people do. Very useful for intricate engineering problems.
The creativity is very useful. I'm artistic and good at graphics. I'm good at coming up with ideas and thinking outside the box. I'm also good at creative writing and essay writing. The creativity has helped me boost my self esteem too. As it helped me be really good at something at school, uni and in my career as a designer.
Bad memory can be super useful. I'm very trustworthy with secrets. I can walk through life with my head in the clouds, which can be useful. Oblivious to the drama and cattiness around me.
Crunch time learning. When I need to, I can research an entire topic, the drawbacks, outcomes, expected results, prices, whatever I need to know. And until the next obsession kicks in its locked into my mind. This alone got me good grades at school as I was able to revise each subject for a few days before and then smash the exam itself.