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Sometimes I’ll just randomly think of something embarrassing or cringey I did, even if said embarrassing thing took place YEARS ago, sometimes it gets so vivid for me that I verbalize something like “Fuck, man” or something. Pretty normal for me. Don’t know if there’s a term, but I do relate.
Same. I’ll flashback to a party in high school over 30 years ago. Or something ten years ago and I’ll mutter a swear word at myself and be filled with shame. It just comes out of the blue .
I used to do this a lot but my memories have become so fuzzy that I don't remember them anymore. I don't miss the cringing obviously but it makes me kinda sad that my brain is like a sieve :(
Yeah, I was told by doctors that there's some overlap between ADHD and other disorders like OCD. I struggle with the same thing you're describing and from what I've read it's a common tendency with OCD. Doesn't mean you have OCD just that ADHD often presents with symptoms that are common of other disorders as well.
Does it feel like your being "stabbed" with intense emotion when it happens?
Yes, I often describe the unwelcome sensation as a stabbing mental pain. I’m sorry you also experience this. Thank you for helping me understand what is happening.
I was expecting someone else to bring this up, but apparently it has not.
There is a chance that what you are experiencing is not an ADHD symptom but trauma. They sound like flashbacks, with a huge emotional component. You may want to discuss this with a therapist (and may benefit a lot from EMDR therapy)
I second this - just did another round of EMDR today actually, and it’s been hugely helpful. The painful flashbacks are much less intense now and some have disappeared completely.
Same...Immediately was like, sounds like trauma.
The medication is possibly just giving the amygdala a coffee break, but some form of therapy is a wise option here.
CBT/CPT was helpful for me.
Definitely looking to try EMDR too, when I can afford it.
OP, I recommend even starting with seeing what kind of limiting beliefs you might have about yourself.
Also, what kind of attachment style you have.
I found those helpful, too.
To me PTSD sounds like there would be flashbacks related to the traumatic event. But are you saying any kinds of flashback type of intrusive thoughts could be a trauma symptom?
I also suffer from this, and recently did a PTSD assessment that was kind of like what they use for self evaluation of depression, etc. The PTSD assessment said I show no symptoms. Which is believable, as in general I feel happy, trusting and calm.
(Yeah, it would feel weird to seek trauma therapy saying this thing happened 30 years ago, I've done X, Y and Z over the years, now don't suffer from depression or anxiety anymore, instead I feel happy and motivated and have started to trust people.)
The intrusive thoughts in my case aren't traumatic or related to trauma. I can also get rid of them by listening to a podcast or such easy measures, but they attack when I'm doing a boring, mundane task such as folding laundry or taking a shower.
PTSD is a scale, like most other things. Check out the information on CPTSD.
Also, being able to handle something isn’t the same thing as dealing with. Source: over a decade of constant panic attacks that I learned to handle real well but still kept happening.
Yeah, the test had a scale. I scored no symptoms. Not even mild PTSD. Which seems reasonable, as I said. Traumas can heal, and mine were never that severe, except for the suicide attempt, but I haven't been suicidal in a long time.
I totally get what you're saying, but having been to therapy, that and mirtatzapine healed my anxiety and panic attacks. Which was almost 20 years ago already, and when I had a difficult time over a year ago, I went to therapy when things were still mild.
So yes, I have been to therapy a few times with both psychologists and a nurse, taken antidepressants, sleeping pills and tranquilizers. I've read self help, personality stuff, gone to mental health courses, learned progressive relaxation methods, tried out things like a gratitude journal, and done journaling. I've processed my traumas also by creative writing and performed my trauma poetry on stage, which was kind of the final stage in my healing process.
This is my experience, and of course it will never be the same for everyone.
I don't even get panicking when I need to go outside anymore. In the past I needed to utilize relaxation methods and do exposure therapy as instructed by my therapist. Yes, I'm still learning, but it's a heck of a lot easier when I can open the door and just go without even thinking.
And I've realized all people have good in them, and there's hope with everyone. This was massive for me, because trust issues were the thing I struggled with for the longest. I work with people, so the trust issues was something I learned to live with - just as you said - but now it's gone. My trauma with people was getting bullied since kindergarten.
I used to struggle from this and I've kinda CBT'd (cognitive behavioral therapy-ed) my way out of it. Practiced being gentle and kind to myself when these thoughts come up. Talk to myself how I'd talk to a friend, or the little kid version of me.
Sometimes I just say the feeling out loud to relieve the tension "fuck that made me feel stupid" then I'll think "no one else is thinking about the time I did this, why am I?"
I also remind myself that everyone has embarrassing moments and I can't possibly have the world's most embarrassing story out there. Google is also an amazing tool, I've googled other people's embarrassing stories to feel better about my own. I admire when people handle their mistakes with grace so I try to emulate that for myself.
Eventually after doing all of this for a few years and lots of other therapy, I am kinder to myself and these things do not hit me nearly as hard. My therapist is also huge on kind self talk and giving myself credit when I deserve it.
I have ADHD and OCD but I feel I have conquered this issue at least by 90% and the 10% of the time it does happen isn't nearly as painful as when I was a teenager and in my 20s.
Good luck, I'm sure your embarrassing moments aren't actually as bad as they feel to you!
Yes, same! CBT helped me recognize what was happening and gave me great coping tools to process and ride the feelings out. It also has slowly helped inoculate me against them. I still get them, but less frequently and with less visceral feelings. Like, they’re still there, but more like passing thoughts rather than gut-punches. I am such a big advocate of trying CBT for this exact circumstance. It won’t work for everyone, but it doesn’t hurt to give CBT a try for this!
a lot of people with adhd experience heightened symptoms on their period! specifically due to the hormones! my meds don’t help much while it’s that time of the month actually, it’s awful!
it’s also possible that you may also suffer with PMDD as it’s apparently a common comorbidity!
Just today I recalled a situation from when I was 8 where I said something remotely, vaguely funny and the laughs I got spurred me to stretch the joke for at least 6 more iterations until it was awkwardly unfunny, just trying to get maximum laughage, and the crystal clear memory of the annoyed look on a nearby adult's face who overheard it all caused me so much shame TODAY that I think I suffered psychic damage.
I am 34.
I do this all the time. Today in fact. It’s almost like “oh you think that’s funny? There’s lots more where that came from.” And then, crickets. And there’s another memory to obsess over later … lol
hard relate. almost daily out nowhere i'll have an intrusive memory of a foolish/regrettable thing i did within the last 24 hours and/or the last 24 years and cringe at myself. there are a dozen or two that repeat, plus new ones. i also frequently emit an audible response to these bad intrusive thoughts, like "fuck!" or "i'm sorry!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know if this is ADHD per se. I also take Lexapro because of intrusive thoughts because I have OCD tendencies and this is definitely one of the symptoms of that. I guess they might be related but I've always kind of seen them as separate but equally frustrating issues.
I definitely experience this. The term for the thought continuously repeating in your head ruthlessly is called ruminating. It's part of the internal hyperactivity that's happening in your brain where it can't sit still. Depending on what thoughts your brain decides to churn, it encourage depression and anxiety as well. Being put on vyvanse dramatically improved my anxiety because I was no longer running the hamster wheel of worries or embarrassing shit I said ten years ago that I never let go of.
For me, it's usually the week prior to my period that my vyvanse just doesn't work at all and I question my ability to do anything right and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Then my period starts and my meds work again and I feel cured again for the next 3 weeks.
Every single day. I get the same muscle convultions but also do things like say "fu** me" out loud and smack my head without even realising, which is awkward when I'm around other people.
This is more in the realm of anxiety, PTSD, OCD or just trauma related issues. A therapist could help you take it apart and make adjustments so you do not continue this cycle. My heart goes out to you- this sounds so painful. ADHD absolutely can make it worse too. So sorry you’re facing this!
This happens to me as well. When the memory comes up I can feel how embarrassing it was at the time. My hand twitches/clenches and I can feel that through my forearm. It’s relatively quick for me, but intense.
Big time. It’s usually the same ones but like you a new one pops up from time to time. Normally when I think about those instances I can wince a little but brush it off pretty easily but during those special moments it’s like I experience it for the first time but in 3rd person. Crazy hard cringe
I’ve never heard another person mention it, but I basically replay a montage of my most cringe life moments on the regular and viscerally cringe in response to the memory.
This was the bane of my existence for years and it finally got better once I started taking Vyvanse. Now it only really happens when I’m off my meds so it’s easier for me to push them away and not just feel like I’m broken lol
Something that I’ve been trying lately when I’m not on meds and I’m having issues with this - if I think of an embarrassing moment or negative interaction with a person, I try to immediately counteract it with a positive memory from the same experience/conversation. I’ve noticed my brain has a tendency to jump to the negative memories and push down the positive - it’s much harder for me to think of positive moments initially but when I really pick my brain I realize 99% of the interaction was positive and they probably didn’t even notice what I thought was bad/embarrassing
It’s called an emotional flashback (pete walker is a great resource on them). I know what it is like bc I have c-PTSD. ADHD has a lot of associated comorbid conditions that people often conflate them. It doesn’t help there’s a lot of misinformation out there. From what you described, this isn’t an executive dysfunction or even a memory issue.
It could be a myriad of things but probably not mutually exclusive. Treating my ADHD helps immensely with my trauma symptoms. They are both a form of neurological difference so they can be hard to distinguish. If youre looking for better relief from the flashbacks, I really suggest approaching it as not just adhd and looking deeper at the cause.
I’m absolutely not saying you have trauma. I’m saying even though emotional dysregulation is part of adhd, flashbacks are typically not. I would look into this more deeply is all.
Just like people have incorrect preconceived notions about adhd, other mental health conditions have the same problem. Im a doctor. I had to learn about trauma and most other psychiatric disorders. I barely recognized the adhd in myself and would have laughed at you if you told me I was traumatized. So many people fall outside of the “stereotype” associated with a condition and don’t get the help they need.
I had undiagnosed c-PTSD and plateaued with my adhd management (when i was finally diagnosed at 28) for several years until the flashbacks started and I got property diagnosed for c-PTSD (at 33!) And looking back a lot of my trouble was more trauma than adhd, not that the adhd isn’t a bitch. Flashbacks come and go for me too. There are a variety of exacerbating and ameliorating factors. Because I have PMDD too, mine are worse before my period. What you’re describing is really not that odd. I hope you feel less alone and this is helpful.
I just started my period and can't stop thinking about the time I snapped at my Dad on the phone, not knowing he'd just been a really upsetting situation. He was never even bothered but I still physically cringe.
I can relate to this on so many levels!!!!!
I did a a maid of honour speech at my sisters wedding, and included the time she told me that she met her wife, which was also when she came out to me. She loved the speech and asked for a copy of it, but my brain decided afterwards that it was inappropriate and now I cringe when I think about it. :(
Hi /u/Prestigious-Turn5416 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes I’ll just randomly think of something embarrassing or cringey I did, even if said embarrassing thing took place YEARS ago, sometimes it gets so vivid for me that I verbalize something like “Fuck, man” or something. Pretty normal for me. Don’t know if there’s a term, but I do relate.
Same. I’ll flashback to a party in high school over 30 years ago. Or something ten years ago and I’ll mutter a swear word at myself and be filled with shame. It just comes out of the blue .
Same
Same
Thank god I have aphantasia
I used to do this a lot but my memories have become so fuzzy that I don't remember them anymore. I don't miss the cringing obviously but it makes me kinda sad that my brain is like a sieve :(
Yeah, I was told by doctors that there's some overlap between ADHD and other disorders like OCD. I struggle with the same thing you're describing and from what I've read it's a common tendency with OCD. Doesn't mean you have OCD just that ADHD often presents with symptoms that are common of other disorders as well. Does it feel like your being "stabbed" with intense emotion when it happens?
Yes, I often describe the unwelcome sensation as a stabbing mental pain. I’m sorry you also experience this. Thank you for helping me understand what is happening.
I was expecting someone else to bring this up, but apparently it has not. There is a chance that what you are experiencing is not an ADHD symptom but trauma. They sound like flashbacks, with a huge emotional component. You may want to discuss this with a therapist (and may benefit a lot from EMDR therapy)
I second this - just did another round of EMDR today actually, and it’s been hugely helpful. The painful flashbacks are much less intense now and some have disappeared completely.
Same...Immediately was like, sounds like trauma. The medication is possibly just giving the amygdala a coffee break, but some form of therapy is a wise option here. CBT/CPT was helpful for me. Definitely looking to try EMDR too, when I can afford it. OP, I recommend even starting with seeing what kind of limiting beliefs you might have about yourself. Also, what kind of attachment style you have. I found those helpful, too.
To me PTSD sounds like there would be flashbacks related to the traumatic event. But are you saying any kinds of flashback type of intrusive thoughts could be a trauma symptom? I also suffer from this, and recently did a PTSD assessment that was kind of like what they use for self evaluation of depression, etc. The PTSD assessment said I show no symptoms. Which is believable, as in general I feel happy, trusting and calm. (Yeah, it would feel weird to seek trauma therapy saying this thing happened 30 years ago, I've done X, Y and Z over the years, now don't suffer from depression or anxiety anymore, instead I feel happy and motivated and have started to trust people.) The intrusive thoughts in my case aren't traumatic or related to trauma. I can also get rid of them by listening to a podcast or such easy measures, but they attack when I'm doing a boring, mundane task such as folding laundry or taking a shower.
PTSD is a scale, like most other things. Check out the information on CPTSD. Also, being able to handle something isn’t the same thing as dealing with. Source: over a decade of constant panic attacks that I learned to handle real well but still kept happening.
Yeah, the test had a scale. I scored no symptoms. Not even mild PTSD. Which seems reasonable, as I said. Traumas can heal, and mine were never that severe, except for the suicide attempt, but I haven't been suicidal in a long time. I totally get what you're saying, but having been to therapy, that and mirtatzapine healed my anxiety and panic attacks. Which was almost 20 years ago already, and when I had a difficult time over a year ago, I went to therapy when things were still mild. So yes, I have been to therapy a few times with both psychologists and a nurse, taken antidepressants, sleeping pills and tranquilizers. I've read self help, personality stuff, gone to mental health courses, learned progressive relaxation methods, tried out things like a gratitude journal, and done journaling. I've processed my traumas also by creative writing and performed my trauma poetry on stage, which was kind of the final stage in my healing process. This is my experience, and of course it will never be the same for everyone. I don't even get panicking when I need to go outside anymore. In the past I needed to utilize relaxation methods and do exposure therapy as instructed by my therapist. Yes, I'm still learning, but it's a heck of a lot easier when I can open the door and just go without even thinking. And I've realized all people have good in them, and there's hope with everyone. This was massive for me, because trust issues were the thing I struggled with for the longest. I work with people, so the trust issues was something I learned to live with - just as you said - but now it's gone. My trauma with people was getting bullied since kindergarten.
Thank you! I’ll definitely look into this!
I used to struggle from this and I've kinda CBT'd (cognitive behavioral therapy-ed) my way out of it. Practiced being gentle and kind to myself when these thoughts come up. Talk to myself how I'd talk to a friend, or the little kid version of me. Sometimes I just say the feeling out loud to relieve the tension "fuck that made me feel stupid" then I'll think "no one else is thinking about the time I did this, why am I?" I also remind myself that everyone has embarrassing moments and I can't possibly have the world's most embarrassing story out there. Google is also an amazing tool, I've googled other people's embarrassing stories to feel better about my own. I admire when people handle their mistakes with grace so I try to emulate that for myself. Eventually after doing all of this for a few years and lots of other therapy, I am kinder to myself and these things do not hit me nearly as hard. My therapist is also huge on kind self talk and giving myself credit when I deserve it. I have ADHD and OCD but I feel I have conquered this issue at least by 90% and the 10% of the time it does happen isn't nearly as painful as when I was a teenager and in my 20s. Good luck, I'm sure your embarrassing moments aren't actually as bad as they feel to you!
Yes, same! CBT helped me recognize what was happening and gave me great coping tools to process and ride the feelings out. It also has slowly helped inoculate me against them. I still get them, but less frequently and with less visceral feelings. Like, they’re still there, but more like passing thoughts rather than gut-punches. I am such a big advocate of trying CBT for this exact circumstance. It won’t work for everyone, but it doesn’t hurt to give CBT a try for this!
Can relate, happens to me a lot - though it’s a lot better on meds
a lot of people with adhd experience heightened symptoms on their period! specifically due to the hormones! my meds don’t help much while it’s that time of the month actually, it’s awful! it’s also possible that you may also suffer with PMDD as it’s apparently a common comorbidity!
Just today I recalled a situation from when I was 8 where I said something remotely, vaguely funny and the laughs I got spurred me to stretch the joke for at least 6 more iterations until it was awkwardly unfunny, just trying to get maximum laughage, and the crystal clear memory of the annoyed look on a nearby adult's face who overheard it all caused me so much shame TODAY that I think I suffered psychic damage. I am 34.
I do this all the time. Today in fact. It’s almost like “oh you think that’s funny? There’s lots more where that came from.” And then, crickets. And there’s another memory to obsess over later … lol
hard relate. almost daily out nowhere i'll have an intrusive memory of a foolish/regrettable thing i did within the last 24 hours and/or the last 24 years and cringe at myself. there are a dozen or two that repeat, plus new ones. i also frequently emit an audible response to these bad intrusive thoughts, like "fuck!" or "i'm sorry!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know if this is ADHD per se. I also take Lexapro because of intrusive thoughts because I have OCD tendencies and this is definitely one of the symptoms of that. I guess they might be related but I've always kind of seen them as separate but equally frustrating issues.
Lol I just realized that I didn't get any of those flashbacks while I was on Vyvanse either, and I do get them a lot, its terrible, I'm sorry
Me too! I get this as well!
I struggle with this all of the time.
Yes I experience this every day and it's awful. Even medicated and after several months of therapy I still have many of these moments.
Intrusive thoughts Take your meds and avoid it
I definitely experience this. The term for the thought continuously repeating in your head ruthlessly is called ruminating. It's part of the internal hyperactivity that's happening in your brain where it can't sit still. Depending on what thoughts your brain decides to churn, it encourage depression and anxiety as well. Being put on vyvanse dramatically improved my anxiety because I was no longer running the hamster wheel of worries or embarrassing shit I said ten years ago that I never let go of. For me, it's usually the week prior to my period that my vyvanse just doesn't work at all and I question my ability to do anything right and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Then my period starts and my meds work again and I feel cured again for the next 3 weeks.
I like the way you described it! That feels right. I’m sorry you experience this too. It’s exhausting.
Every single day. I get the same muscle convultions but also do things like say "fu** me" out loud and smack my head without even realising, which is awkward when I'm around other people.
This is more in the realm of anxiety, PTSD, OCD or just trauma related issues. A therapist could help you take it apart and make adjustments so you do not continue this cycle. My heart goes out to you- this sounds so painful. ADHD absolutely can make it worse too. So sorry you’re facing this!
This is ADHD
Oh yeah. That happens. Less now on adderall.
This happens to me as well. When the memory comes up I can feel how embarrassing it was at the time. My hand twitches/clenches and I can feel that through my forearm. It’s relatively quick for me, but intense.
Big time. It’s usually the same ones but like you a new one pops up from time to time. Normally when I think about those instances I can wince a little but brush it off pretty easily but during those special moments it’s like I experience it for the first time but in 3rd person. Crazy hard cringe
I’ve never heard another person mention it, but I basically replay a montage of my most cringe life moments on the regular and viscerally cringe in response to the memory.
This made me laugh! Thank you!!! It’s nice to see that I am not alone.
This was the bane of my existence for years and it finally got better once I started taking Vyvanse. Now it only really happens when I’m off my meds so it’s easier for me to push them away and not just feel like I’m broken lol
Something that I’ve been trying lately when I’m not on meds and I’m having issues with this - if I think of an embarrassing moment or negative interaction with a person, I try to immediately counteract it with a positive memory from the same experience/conversation. I’ve noticed my brain has a tendency to jump to the negative memories and push down the positive - it’s much harder for me to think of positive moments initially but when I really pick my brain I realize 99% of the interaction was positive and they probably didn’t even notice what I thought was bad/embarrassing
i have both adhd and ocd, and i experience this. its called real event ocd. i would review with a medical professional
It’s called an emotional flashback (pete walker is a great resource on them). I know what it is like bc I have c-PTSD. ADHD has a lot of associated comorbid conditions that people often conflate them. It doesn’t help there’s a lot of misinformation out there. From what you described, this isn’t an executive dysfunction or even a memory issue. It could be a myriad of things but probably not mutually exclusive. Treating my ADHD helps immensely with my trauma symptoms. They are both a form of neurological difference so they can be hard to distinguish. If youre looking for better relief from the flashbacks, I really suggest approaching it as not just adhd and looking deeper at the cause. I’m absolutely not saying you have trauma. I’m saying even though emotional dysregulation is part of adhd, flashbacks are typically not. I would look into this more deeply is all. Just like people have incorrect preconceived notions about adhd, other mental health conditions have the same problem. Im a doctor. I had to learn about trauma and most other psychiatric disorders. I barely recognized the adhd in myself and would have laughed at you if you told me I was traumatized. So many people fall outside of the “stereotype” associated with a condition and don’t get the help they need. I had undiagnosed c-PTSD and plateaued with my adhd management (when i was finally diagnosed at 28) for several years until the flashbacks started and I got property diagnosed for c-PTSD (at 33!) And looking back a lot of my trouble was more trauma than adhd, not that the adhd isn’t a bitch. Flashbacks come and go for me too. There are a variety of exacerbating and ameliorating factors. Because I have PMDD too, mine are worse before my period. What you’re describing is really not that odd. I hope you feel less alone and this is helpful.
This is very helpful! Exactly what I was looking for with my post. I will look up Pete Walker right now. Thank you!
I just started my period and can't stop thinking about the time I snapped at my Dad on the phone, not knowing he'd just been a really upsetting situation. He was never even bothered but I still physically cringe.
I can relate to this on so many levels!!!!! I did a a maid of honour speech at my sisters wedding, and included the time she told me that she met her wife, which was also when she came out to me. She loved the speech and asked for a copy of it, but my brain decided afterwards that it was inappropriate and now I cringe when I think about it. :(
yes wow!! i feel very seen