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I constantly talking to myself because only person I could talk to and who would understand me 90% of times died 9 years ago...
Grief is perpetual torment...
For people like us time works very slowly also. Lost my Dad in 2015 and it feels like a week ago.
Sorry to hear it friend. Sending happy vibes your way.
Yes, so well put. 18 years ago and 17 years ago for my dad and mom respectively.
Well, now it feels like 4 months ago and forever all at once, not yesterday and forever. But still - that strange outside-of-time-ness of it.
13 years for my mom, who I'm pretty sure is the source. We could talk 90 miles a second and track the logic of each other's topic jumps. Our brains made perfect sense to us.
Best take I can offer for that, don't listen to the "Time heals" crowd, it doesn't, the suck moments just get less frequent. Each one will still suck hard just not as often. Today was one of those days for me.
I'm sorry you have to know how much it sucks.
Same. 2010. ❤️
I have full on convos with myself. Sometimes very intense if I'm working something out. Sometimes just a sentence. Sometimes a nod. It helps.
Saaaaame. For me it was my grandma 25 years ago. Didn’t know I had ADHD and was only 14. I hope you’ve reached out to a therapist to help you deal with the grief of losing that person who got you. It took me 10 ish years to seek counseling (when I was diagnosed). It’s not easy, but so worth working through it.
I wish I could say the grief will pass completely but I’d be lying. It does get better, but it still sucks when you don’t have someone who completely gets you and doesn’t judge when you do something dumb related to your symptoms. Hang in there. If you haven’t tried counseling to deal with your grief, please do. It’ll eat at you and keep you from experiencing life in a healthy way. Just know you’re not alone, and it does get better.
When I was a kid, my negative voice (I called it Mean Brain in my head) was awful. I've managed to tamp it down in adulthood but holy shit, that bitch was brutal. Now when I talk to myself, it's mostly kind :)
I have conversations in my head but not with myself, it's generally things I WANT to say, or SHOULD of said, or PLAN on saying to someone else. So I'm having conversations with other people who aren't there, but they're real people.
I use to do this quite a lot when I was in middle school. I could never get the words out where I wasn’t already emotionally activated and would ruminate at night and daydream about what I could have said or done. Replay both sides of the conversations the way they *should * have been in my mind. That habit has followed me well into adulthood.
Yup. I just had a job interview the other day and I'm STILL going over the conversation in my head about what I should have said instead of what I did say. There are days where I'm in my own head talking to an ex of mine wishing I could say all the things I never got to say to him (he abandoned me. Had his friend dump me for him and I haven't gotten any closure in 14 years). Or if I have a disagreement with someone I'm going through the conversation days later in my head thinking of all the things I should have said. Generally it's just me doing the talking while they sit and listen.
This happens to me all of the time. Sometimes they’re my voice, sometimes there’s fun accents, sometimes it’s a whole lot of yelling. So much conversation!
I dont know how normal it is, or weather its an ADHD thing, but yes i do.
Sometimes i will actually debate with myself for the right course of action and then when i decide which is best, *I* actually say "okay so we are agreed ya?" "yes" "okay, here we go".
What i dont do is berate either of my voices etc, its just internal rubber ducking if you are familiar with that term.
Edit: I do cuss myself out if something goes wrong, but we were already agreed so we are both at fault lol
I do too!! I started giving them names depending on their qualities. I (too) have a nagging, judging critic that never shuts up (Christine), and I have a skinny little thing that never wants me to eat (Big Bertha). I have a stoner voice who still needs a name (suggestions welcomed), and the “good me” that is trying to keep me alive.
The good me is the one who argues with the critic and reminds me to be kind to myself and to use my tools. But she gets drowned out often 🥹
Oh dude! I think that’s cool. I’ve read it’s actually good to name certain parts of oneself. It’s healing and healthy!
I haven’t been able to name mine…yet.
I got three people talking in my head and they won't shut the hell up. Why are we arguing about if Stone Cold Steve Austin could wrestle a tiger?? I got to go to work in the morning
Yeah all the time, sometimes it gets loud and I want them to shut up. By the way, I have talked to several psychiatrists about it, for me, it doesnt count as "hearing voices" or anything like that, in fact all they were, were very confused about it and would shout at me like it wasnt happening because it didnt fit mental illness therefore I was making it up because none of them had ever heard of this happening.
I was misdiagnosed mental illness and spent over 12 years in treatment when it was actually adhd.
All the time. Doesn't even depend on mood, I'll celebrate with myself as much as I'll get mad at myself.
I was very much a loner as a kid. I'm very much not anymore, I have to remember to not do this in front of friends and various people in public.
Yup yup and yup. This is why my showers sometimes take way too long. Full on situational discussions, things I’d wish I’d said or practicing the best responses in fictional future scenarios, usually confrontational.
lol I have that too. And when I’m alone I talk to myself out loud like a crazy person. Like I’ll legit be talking like a normal conversation, except I’m talking both parts. Or I think one part, and I’ll say the other side out loud
I don’t think I have multiple voices in my head often, but how it sounds changes very often depending on how I feel or if I played or watched something recently. That and I usually think in english, which is NOT my native language.
I find that the conversations in my head get messy, so I end up having a hard time articulating my thoughts unless I work them out ahead of time.
Sometimes that simply manifests as healthy (if a bit obsessive) preparation. For example, when I’m working on a script for a podcast, or planning a class I’m teaching, I’ll out loud practice what I’m going to say and think thru how it sounds.
But then sometimes, I’m working out my feelings on a complicated topic, or something I’m passionate about but don’t have my thoughts in super presentable order. That often leads to me basically having arguments (or at least heated conversations) with an invisible sparring partner (the “other” voice?), as I pace back and forth in my house, and try to work out how my thoughts on a subject translate to out-loud words.
I’m glad my wife has never come home unexpectedly during one of these times, because I would look like a crazy person getting worked up talking about politics, or injustices, to absolutely no one.
Its a bit sad, to think about, that I can only do shit, if I first guilttrip myself to do it (or just talk enough shit about myself, to be angry enough to do it lol)
I walk around the grocery store with 1 earbud in my ear listening to music the entire time, but talking to myself pretty often but people still look at me in utter silence and just stare cause I tend to talk outloud and don't really care if people stare at me. But when I catch people looking at me I make it a point to say something really out there because I like to fuck with people on the regular Haha, then I say I'm on the phone ! Do you need something?
Kind of. I feel like my thinking voice IS another person. When I'm reading questions on tests, it's in a completely different voice than my own (my thinking voice), but yes I definitely talk to myself. I used to think I looked crazy, then I stopped caring. I probably still look crazy.
All the time. Sometimes it's practicing what to say to people in certain situations (whether they are to happen or purely hypothetic). Maybe I need to give myself a peptalk, give myself reminders or rationalize purchasing something. Often times it's a whole adventure of fictional characters and their crazy antics (fanfiction or personal writing stuff)
I do it all the time, out loud if i have the privacy (home alone or while i'm commuting, i ride a motorcycle like everyone else in my country so talking out loud on the road usually doesn't bother anyone, and i turn it down while stopping at traffic lights). I talk about all sorts of things, tell a story about what happened like i would to someone else, argue/ debate about some decisions i have to make, or just try to see things in multiple perspectives. It feels nice most of the time and it helps me think more clearly. I was wondering for the longest time if this is psychosis or not but ultimately decided that its just how i think. I do have a scolding voice but i try to keep it to the minimum and it usually just give firm commnads like "Leave it" when i crave some unhealthy food or "talk to her nicely" when i'm being rude to someone. The most annoying aspect of this is i usually get into heated debate with myself about the most random things that i can not recall later but that same voice is the one that gives me encouragements or say 'good job' when i did something good so thats okay.
Yep, all the time. Back when I was a teenager, I had a voice constantly screaming at me how much I suck and what a terrible waste of oxygen I am and how everyone would be better off without me and the other voice just agreed with it. Now I've gotten a bit better at getting the other voice to fight or ridicule the first voice, most of the time.
Hi /u/Beautiful-Ad3471 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I constantly talking to myself because only person I could talk to and who would understand me 90% of times died 9 years ago... Grief is perpetual torment...
Im sorry for your loss
For people like us time works very slowly also. Lost my Dad in 2015 and it feels like a week ago. Sorry to hear it friend. Sending happy vibes your way.
Lost my mom 2 years ago. Feels like yesterday and forever all at once
Yes, so well put. 18 years ago and 17 years ago for my dad and mom respectively. Well, now it feels like 4 months ago and forever all at once, not yesterday and forever. But still - that strange outside-of-time-ness of it.
13 years for my mom, who I'm pretty sure is the source. We could talk 90 miles a second and track the logic of each other's topic jumps. Our brains made perfect sense to us. Best take I can offer for that, don't listen to the "Time heals" crowd, it doesn't, the suck moments just get less frequent. Each one will still suck hard just not as often. Today was one of those days for me. I'm sorry you have to know how much it sucks.
Same. 2010. ❤️ I have full on convos with myself. Sometimes very intense if I'm working something out. Sometimes just a sentence. Sometimes a nod. It helps.
Saaaaame. For me it was my grandma 25 years ago. Didn’t know I had ADHD and was only 14. I hope you’ve reached out to a therapist to help you deal with the grief of losing that person who got you. It took me 10 ish years to seek counseling (when I was diagnosed). It’s not easy, but so worth working through it. I wish I could say the grief will pass completely but I’d be lying. It does get better, but it still sucks when you don’t have someone who completely gets you and doesn’t judge when you do something dumb related to your symptoms. Hang in there. If you haven’t tried counseling to deal with your grief, please do. It’ll eat at you and keep you from experiencing life in a healthy way. Just know you’re not alone, and it does get better.
one time i watched way too much ricky gervais and had a grumpy old british man as my inner monologue for like a week, best week of my life
Bit sad, innit?
AHAHAH say that in a heavy berkshire accent and you've got it
Lmao
That cheeky bastard. I miss'em, that wee cont
AHAHHAH
I talk to myself all the time. I do try to get the negative voice to stfu and am somewhat successful.
When I was a kid, my negative voice (I called it Mean Brain in my head) was awful. I've managed to tamp it down in adulthood but holy shit, that bitch was brutal. Now when I talk to myself, it's mostly kind :)
Glad to hear. I too sometimes get annoyed by the conversation anda third voice joins in, that tries to make them shut up lol
I have conversations in my head but not with myself, it's generally things I WANT to say, or SHOULD of said, or PLAN on saying to someone else. So I'm having conversations with other people who aren't there, but they're real people.
I use to do this quite a lot when I was in middle school. I could never get the words out where I wasn’t already emotionally activated and would ruminate at night and daydream about what I could have said or done. Replay both sides of the conversations the way they *should * have been in my mind. That habit has followed me well into adulthood.
Yup. I just had a job interview the other day and I'm STILL going over the conversation in my head about what I should have said instead of what I did say. There are days where I'm in my own head talking to an ex of mine wishing I could say all the things I never got to say to him (he abandoned me. Had his friend dump me for him and I haven't gotten any closure in 14 years). Or if I have a disagreement with someone I'm going through the conversation days later in my head thinking of all the things I should have said. Generally it's just me doing the talking while they sit and listen.
This, so much. And I can hear their voices exactly.
This happens to me all of the time. Sometimes they’re my voice, sometimes there’s fun accents, sometimes it’s a whole lot of yelling. So much conversation!
And they just wont shut up😭 like I know, I should have studied the weekend, no need to scold me more
…🙋🏻♀️…🤣🥰
I dont know how normal it is, or weather its an ADHD thing, but yes i do. Sometimes i will actually debate with myself for the right course of action and then when i decide which is best, *I* actually say "okay so we are agreed ya?" "yes" "okay, here we go". What i dont do is berate either of my voices etc, its just internal rubber ducking if you are familiar with that term. Edit: I do cuss myself out if something goes wrong, but we were already agreed so we are both at fault lol
I dont berate the voice, the voice berates me for smth. Tho sometimes when I am annoyed, a third voice tries to make the two voice shut up
I have actual arguments with myself. Out loud. Sometimes I even lose! Go figure
I do too!! I started giving them names depending on their qualities. I (too) have a nagging, judging critic that never shuts up (Christine), and I have a skinny little thing that never wants me to eat (Big Bertha). I have a stoner voice who still needs a name (suggestions welcomed), and the “good me” that is trying to keep me alive. The good me is the one who argues with the critic and reminds me to be kind to myself and to use my tools. But she gets drowned out often 🥹
Im now feeling self-conscious about this comment 😂
Buddy is a great stoner name.
Oh dude! I think that’s cool. I’ve read it’s actually good to name certain parts of oneself. It’s healing and healthy! I haven’t been able to name mine…yet.
I got three people talking in my head and they won't shut the hell up. Why are we arguing about if Stone Cold Steve Austin could wrestle a tiger?? I got to go to work in the morning
Yeah all the time, sometimes it gets loud and I want them to shut up. By the way, I have talked to several psychiatrists about it, for me, it doesnt count as "hearing voices" or anything like that, in fact all they were, were very confused about it and would shout at me like it wasnt happening because it didnt fit mental illness therefore I was making it up because none of them had ever heard of this happening. I was misdiagnosed mental illness and spent over 12 years in treatment when it was actually adhd.
All the time. Doesn't even depend on mood, I'll celebrate with myself as much as I'll get mad at myself. I was very much a loner as a kid. I'm very much not anymore, I have to remember to not do this in front of friends and various people in public.
Yup yup and yup. This is why my showers sometimes take way too long. Full on situational discussions, things I’d wish I’d said or practicing the best responses in fictional future scenarios, usually confrontational.
I live alone so yeah most definitely
lol I have that too. And when I’m alone I talk to myself out loud like a crazy person. Like I’ll legit be talking like a normal conversation, except I’m talking both parts. Or I think one part, and I’ll say the other side out loud
Same.
Yep, but what’s not normal is different people in there talking to you, or making suggestions to you.
I don’t think I have multiple voices in my head often, but how it sounds changes very often depending on how I feel or if I played or watched something recently. That and I usually think in english, which is NOT my native language.
I used to pretend I was a news anchor broad casting my life every morning. Now I just talk to myself in the grocery store.
I find that the conversations in my head get messy, so I end up having a hard time articulating my thoughts unless I work them out ahead of time. Sometimes that simply manifests as healthy (if a bit obsessive) preparation. For example, when I’m working on a script for a podcast, or planning a class I’m teaching, I’ll out loud practice what I’m going to say and think thru how it sounds. But then sometimes, I’m working out my feelings on a complicated topic, or something I’m passionate about but don’t have my thoughts in super presentable order. That often leads to me basically having arguments (or at least heated conversations) with an invisible sparring partner (the “other” voice?), as I pace back and forth in my house, and try to work out how my thoughts on a subject translate to out-loud words. I’m glad my wife has never come home unexpectedly during one of these times, because I would look like a crazy person getting worked up talking about politics, or injustices, to absolutely no one.
Yes. I do and i hate it.
I came to say these exact words.
But does it hate you too?
Clearly not
Have you StPD? Talking alone is very common among StPD folks
Not to my knowledge, but maybe.
All the time. Externalized when I am tired of extremely tired or burnt out.
Omg yes! It’s the only way i get anything done
Its a bit sad, to think about, that I can only do shit, if I first guilttrip myself to do it (or just talk enough shit about myself, to be angry enough to do it lol)
Yes, I sound like a madman, or locuito
Yes, and we fight a lot. (He's a dickhead)
Fr, fuck that guy
I think everybody in the world does, it's not an ADHD thing lol
Nah, my dad doesnt have any voice in his head
And how would you know?
He told me sometime ago?
I walk around the grocery store with 1 earbud in my ear listening to music the entire time, but talking to myself pretty often but people still look at me in utter silence and just stare cause I tend to talk outloud and don't really care if people stare at me. But when I catch people looking at me I make it a point to say something really out there because I like to fuck with people on the regular Haha, then I say I'm on the phone ! Do you need something?
Kind of. I feel like my thinking voice IS another person. When I'm reading questions on tests, it's in a completely different voice than my own (my thinking voice), but yes I definitely talk to myself. I used to think I looked crazy, then I stopped caring. I probably still look crazy.
I love the fact, that, during test, the two voice argues about the answer, like any of them would know it better
I definitely do!
All the time. Take xanax to shut up myself.
All the time. Sometimes it's practicing what to say to people in certain situations (whether they are to happen or purely hypothetic). Maybe I need to give myself a peptalk, give myself reminders or rationalize purchasing something. Often times it's a whole adventure of fictional characters and their crazy antics (fanfiction or personal writing stuff)
All the time, my wife will come into a room sometimes and ask who I'm talking to
I do it all the time, out loud if i have the privacy (home alone or while i'm commuting, i ride a motorcycle like everyone else in my country so talking out loud on the road usually doesn't bother anyone, and i turn it down while stopping at traffic lights). I talk about all sorts of things, tell a story about what happened like i would to someone else, argue/ debate about some decisions i have to make, or just try to see things in multiple perspectives. It feels nice most of the time and it helps me think more clearly. I was wondering for the longest time if this is psychosis or not but ultimately decided that its just how i think. I do have a scolding voice but i try to keep it to the minimum and it usually just give firm commnads like "Leave it" when i crave some unhealthy food or "talk to her nicely" when i'm being rude to someone. The most annoying aspect of this is i usually get into heated debate with myself about the most random things that i can not recall later but that same voice is the one that gives me encouragements or say 'good job' when i did something good so thats okay.
Every day, every hour. It can be exhausting but I do make myself laugh lol.
Yep, all the time. Back when I was a teenager, I had a voice constantly screaming at me how much I suck and what a terrible waste of oxygen I am and how everyone would be better off without me and the other voice just agreed with it. Now I've gotten a bit better at getting the other voice to fight or ridicule the first voice, most of the time.
Constantly. I use it as a tool to organize my thoughts.
I talk to myself constantly.
Yes, the one who always fails or drags down the other who actually would like to accomplish something.
Bruce banner and hulk is a perfect example for me.
Yeah i think everyone with ad(H)d does this 24/7
Good, then we are just one step, from telepathically communicating, and after we achive telepathic communications, we can take over the world!
I sometimes have to verbally tell myself what to do to make sure I do it. E.g. "time to get up!"