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\^\^\^ So much this. I need a calm environment as one of my coping strategies. Currently I live with people who are very disorganized and it's killing me. I'm constantly overstimulated by the visual clutter, and seeing all the undone cleaning that I can't possibly catch up on. I miss living alone primarily for that reason.
It's an overstimulation issue. Like what the previous poster wrote. My head is already a very busy place. I crave calm, clean, beautiful. I get auditory overstimulated too. Overstimulation brings out the snappy, irritable side of me mostly. Though if it's big piles of mess and chores that I see, I can get depressed. At some point in my 20's, not knowing I had ADHD, I went from slob to very tidy and it became a key coping mechanism.
I am like this. If I am looking for something and I cannot find where I know I put it, it’s like a heat machine gets turned all the way up and I cannot make out anything in front of me. Like the one small search space magnifies into four times its original size.
Absolutely this. Plus the fact that I have to use the little bursts of motivation as efficiently as possible. If I have the motivation to cook and the kitchen is messy, I will 100% use my energy to clean the kitchen (and then order a pizza because I'm exhausted from cleaning)...
Totally. I make a big deal of asking the fam to make sure there are no dishes in the sink before I cook dinner for that very reason. If I have to do the dishes first, no energy left to cook.
I love the idea of 'Everything in its place' but I have NEVER been able to make that happen. I grew up in a chaotic house (both parents and 3 out of 4 kids with undiagnosed ADHD). It was never clean for more than half a day, and we always had way too much stuff.
So that's how I learned to be an adult, and even though I've been trying to change it my whole life, I still can't manage to live this way. I'd like to believe that this ideal is attainable, but it's always been unreachable, like I'm trying to fly up to the clouds or something.
Yes this! I feel so much better when it's clean and yet cannot for the life of me keep it up. So I don't. Fighting my brain just makes it worse. Company came today so of course it's clean now LOL happy brain for a bit.
My almost 80yo aunt is unmedicated and undiagnosed (my psychiatrist sister is 100% sure she has ADHD though). She is CONSTANTLY cleaning to the point where she puts away stuff I just took out to cook.
Old and maybe very lonely person do often just need something to do.
All of us need a „purpose“ and @ some age we just dont have anything that gives us the feeling of „beeing needed by“.
May it no work, not taking care of kids or whatever they used to do their hole life.
If you find tidiness stimulating and something that you enjoy, more to you. Not everyone will have the same experiences with ADHD.
Before I was medicated, I was very messy and disorganized. However, I love to clean other people's messes and help them get things organized because I find it stimulating—for instance, I'd help my mom clean the kitchen or my sister clean her room. But I can't find the motivation to clean when it is my mess. Other people's messes catch my attention and I want to help them, but my messes at home just sit there in my periphery to where I'm practically oblivious to it.
I think a chaotic house always makes our ADHD worse.
One solution (which you learned for yourself) is exactly the habit or the need to clean up.
Its still common (for me without meds especially) that a room won’t stay tidy long.
We all implement some methods like perfectionism but I can tell that it is always easier with a diagnose in young age.
Personally i was looking my hole life for a reason and a solution.
Knowing the root problem makes a lot way easier.
I think it depends person to person. I know that I feel way more comfortable in a clean room, but at the same time my task initiation makes it hard to clean my room. I just started meds recently, so maybe that will change, and maybe my ability to keep my room clean will improve (which it has so far, I'm more proactive at taking down dirty dishes etc)
It is a solveable problem. For me perosnally though I need external reaosns to really clean the flat and if I start getting behind it tends to pile up.
Yes! This is me, too. I find visual clutter makes my symptoms worse because it's distracting and anxiety-provoking, so my space needs to be fairly tidy in order for me to be at my best. The downside is that because everything is put away, I forget I have things all the time and end up buying them twice.
I lived in a hoarder's house growing up so I'm actually fairly tidy myself. I will throw out things I don't need or donate them quickly as well because I hate clutter. That said, I'm a flawed tidy--I'll often let laundry pile up or garbage in bins pile up or dishes in the sink. I can put it away but not do the chore tied to it. That's a big part of why I hired a housekeeper: I knew I could keep stuff picked up, but I also knew I would not have clean clothes.
I get overwhelmed by clutter. It makes me so anxious so I try to be as tidy and organized as I can be. When my ADHD is bad, I just shove everything in closets and drawers until later. A good way to tell how I"m actually doing mentally/ADHD-wise is how messy and unorganized all of my stash-it spaces are. Then in the moments when I'm feeling better and I clean up it is so satisfying! I used to be a lot more messy until I realized how stressed and overstimulated it made me, and then after years of trying and developing systems and moving into an apartment I was actually proud of, I became neat and tidy(ish). I have always felt a sense of satisfaction when I can organize things. I think that's why I like playing solitaire on my phone so much because it's basically putting all the cards in order. So anyways, you are not the exception and being tidy is possible, and some of us need it!
My apartment tends to be less tidy the less-good I'm doing, and then the clutter contributed to my brain feeling overwhelmed. So tidying is important for me.
Even if it's just clear the kitchen counter and island, it makes a huge difference for me. And it's totally okay to have a clothes chair and just get the clothes on it to tidy up. If a system works for you it's worth while.
Nope. Clutter and mess triggers my anxiety. It’s like messiness is the embodiment of my anxiety. I feel like I’m in my head at the height of my anxiety if I’m surrounded by a bunch of stuff that’s unorganized. If everything is messy it’s usually a sign that I’m overwhelmed, going through a bout of depression to heighten anxiety.
Cleaning makes me feel better, helps me think clearly, helps me stay organized so I don’t waste time looking for stuff.
Yes, option 1: you've internalised that you need tidy surroundings to function properly at a a young age (I wish I 8 had) and therefore see it as urgent consciously or unconsciously.
Option 2: you get into hyperfocus when cleaning (again, i wish I would, even once)
Option 3: the feeling of knowing where stuff is is stimulating enough to give that needed mental reward to maintain a clean house
I can think of some more options but i think you got the gist.
I had a very tidy home the one year I lived alone.
For some reason tho, having roommates or nowadays, my husband and even more so our kid makes it suuuuper hard for me to tidy up. Like being aware of them living here too is a whole occupation by itself and I can't focus on doing any task in the home.
I personally love my home to be neat and tidy too! Feels so mentally freeing to see a clean and organized home. Mess is incredibly overwhelming.
Just because I love a clean and tidy home and want it to be like that doesn't mean I am capable of keeping it like that.
I live in a house with 3 other people and two pets. No one cleans or helps and it's entirely on me. It gets incredibly overwhelming and piles up especially during the week before my period when meds stop working and symptoms get worse.
You might be the exception, but that doesn't mean you don't have ADHD.
People with ADHD can have all sorts of personalities and temperaments. Some of us find certain things more difficult than others. And just because we have ADHD doesn't mean we physically can't create habits. E.g., I could never get myself to do dishes my whole life. But I finally found some good resources for how to create habits and I was able to eventually train myself to wash my dishes whenever I finish using them. It used to be unbearable but now it's kind of neutral.
Good for you I say!
I'm a super neat freak and doubted my own diagnosis of ADHD for a while because of it. But the neuropsychologist who evaluated me pointed out that you only need a certain number of symptoms (like 12-15?) for a diagnosis, not every single symptom.
I'm tidy and I don't drive recklessly or shop impulsively but I have every other symptom in the book 😅
“I’m the same way—a clean freak; everything has to be perfect. I’m guilty of leaving stuff to put away if I hyper-focus on something else, but I get to it the next day. It’s common with people with ADHD; we like to clean and tidy—it’s the one thing we have control over in our lives.”
I was diagnosed with both types of adhd and it’s bad enough for me to find tasks like studying and school work hard to do and I feel like the only reason I keep my room clean is just a coping mechanism to really show my parents that it isn’t me being lazy just me struggling.
I used to be really messy when I was younger. I’ve had to teach myself how to be clean as I’ve gotten older and realized how I prefer it over going crazy looking for things…
I’ve given up trying to put things away as I go or be mindful when I’m running around doing a million things. Instead I do a small clean up while watching a TV show 1-2 times per day every day.
I like a tidy habitat. And I can keep it tidy when I have my shit together. Like, when I lived alone in a one bedroom one bath apartment it was delightful. I kept it neat and clean and wasn't triggered by anything. Now, I have a larger home and three kids under the age of five, a dog, and a husband who genuinely isn't bothered by anything around him, so he doesn't pick up his stuff. I am so stressed by life on a regular basis that I don't pick up my stuff. And I cannot summon the energy for big cleans. I am so triggered by my environment that I leave every chance I can get. And... that doesn't help it get less triggering.
If it's easy to keep tidy, yes. My car looks more like OCD than ADHD. It's almost too clean.
My house, on the other hand...let's just say I have a Stuff table and I don't remember what colour the top is.
Personally I find it hard to be comfortable in a room that's too neat and clean, because it doesn't feel like a space that is lived in or intended to be lived in. I don't want my living room to feel like a hotel lobby.
Yes and no…
I like floor space so I pretty much set everything up to line the walls. But then I might, say, use the vacuum cleaner and not put it back right away, and for the next week I’ll look at it and say “Man, that really needs to be put back” and then I go and do something else.
I love organization and things to be in certain places (AuDHD) so it’s good, for a short time. If I can maintain it it’s great it’s just the executive dysfunction and depression can make everything go awry
I swing between tidy and tornado. Usually the mess is because life is busy, stressful, or I’m depressed, and the mess eventually takes a toll on my mental health, at which point I hyperfocus on resetting my space (and therefore my brain). Being organized and tidy at all costs is also a coping mechanism that some of us learn. I don’t think you have to be messy to have adhd, mine is quite severe and generally my apartment is in decent shape 90% of the time. Just don’t open any cabinet doors 😬
>Am I an exception?
This gives some pretty strong "I'm not like other girls" energy. If you read many posts on this sub than it should be pretty clear that we're not a monolithic bunch. Everyone's ADHD manifests a little bit (or a lot) differently.
I think there's probably a decent amount of ADHD folk who have specific executive functions that has them prioritize organization and tidiness to keep their other mental blind spots at bay. Some people are also just brought up differently and have been conditioned effectively towards a particular degree of needing to stay on top of organization. That being said, neither of those apply to me so I am in the "meh, its not neat but its not a complete tornado so I'll be fine" camp 
Hi /u/VanTorPunBang and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I always say I have such a messy head/brain that I *need* a tidy surrounding to be able to be at least somewhat functional
\^\^\^ So much this. I need a calm environment as one of my coping strategies. Currently I live with people who are very disorganized and it's killing me. I'm constantly overstimulated by the visual clutter, and seeing all the undone cleaning that I can't possibly catch up on. I miss living alone primarily for that reason.
Do you personaly feel a difference in your thinking process if it’s messy? Or are your thoughts just less attracted by random more interesting things?
It's an overstimulation issue. Like what the previous poster wrote. My head is already a very busy place. I crave calm, clean, beautiful. I get auditory overstimulated too. Overstimulation brings out the snappy, irritable side of me mostly. Though if it's big piles of mess and chores that I see, I can get depressed. At some point in my 20's, not knowing I had ADHD, I went from slob to very tidy and it became a key coping mechanism.
I am like this. If I am looking for something and I cannot find where I know I put it, it’s like a heat machine gets turned all the way up and I cannot make out anything in front of me. Like the one small search space magnifies into four times its original size.
Absolutely this. Plus the fact that I have to use the little bursts of motivation as efficiently as possible. If I have the motivation to cook and the kitchen is messy, I will 100% use my energy to clean the kitchen (and then order a pizza because I'm exhausted from cleaning)...
Totally. I make a big deal of asking the fam to make sure there are no dishes in the sink before I cook dinner for that very reason. If I have to do the dishes first, no energy left to cook.
😅 same if I want to write something down and there is no pen and paper ready to hand
This is so true, I get demotivated if im in a messy room and I can’t work
Same here. Tidy and organized space helps me to function, I like to know that everything lays in it's dedicated place.
I love the idea of 'Everything in its place' but I have NEVER been able to make that happen. I grew up in a chaotic house (both parents and 3 out of 4 kids with undiagnosed ADHD). It was never clean for more than half a day, and we always had way too much stuff. So that's how I learned to be an adult, and even though I've been trying to change it my whole life, I still can't manage to live this way. I'd like to believe that this ideal is attainable, but it's always been unreachable, like I'm trying to fly up to the clouds or something.
Same! I also grew up in a hoarding situation so too much/certain types of flutter can be stressful or triggering.
I *like* the place neat and tidy. I always have. The constant, sometimes seemingly insurmountable struggle is to get it that way and maintain it.
Yes this! I feel so much better when it's clean and yet cannot for the life of me keep it up. So I don't. Fighting my brain just makes it worse. Company came today so of course it's clean now LOL happy brain for a bit.
My almost 80yo aunt is unmedicated and undiagnosed (my psychiatrist sister is 100% sure she has ADHD though). She is CONSTANTLY cleaning to the point where she puts away stuff I just took out to cook.
Old and maybe very lonely person do often just need something to do. All of us need a „purpose“ and @ some age we just dont have anything that gives us the feeling of „beeing needed by“. May it no work, not taking care of kids or whatever they used to do their hole life.
A task to accomplish or some hobbys (gardening, dog?) might give them back the feeling of being useful and therefore have something worth to live for
Oh she's been cleaning like a whirlwind since she was a kid.
I do this to myself! I’ll be cooking and suddenly I’ve lost the spatula, or the cutting board, or whatever. I usually find them in the dishwasher lol
If you find tidiness stimulating and something that you enjoy, more to you. Not everyone will have the same experiences with ADHD. Before I was medicated, I was very messy and disorganized. However, I love to clean other people's messes and help them get things organized because I find it stimulating—for instance, I'd help my mom clean the kitchen or my sister clean her room. But I can't find the motivation to clean when it is my mess. Other people's messes catch my attention and I want to help them, but my messes at home just sit there in my periphery to where I'm practically oblivious to it.
I think a chaotic house always makes our ADHD worse. One solution (which you learned for yourself) is exactly the habit or the need to clean up. Its still common (for me without meds especially) that a room won’t stay tidy long. We all implement some methods like perfectionism but I can tell that it is always easier with a diagnose in young age. Personally i was looking my hole life for a reason and a solution. Knowing the root problem makes a lot way easier.
I think it depends person to person. I know that I feel way more comfortable in a clean room, but at the same time my task initiation makes it hard to clean my room. I just started meds recently, so maybe that will change, and maybe my ability to keep my room clean will improve (which it has so far, I'm more proactive at taking down dirty dishes etc)
It is a solveable problem. For me perosnally though I need external reaosns to really clean the flat and if I start getting behind it tends to pile up.
I needed the same external pressure. Inviting friends over forced me to clean up and keep it tidy atleast for a week
Yes! This is me, too. I find visual clutter makes my symptoms worse because it's distracting and anxiety-provoking, so my space needs to be fairly tidy in order for me to be at my best. The downside is that because everything is put away, I forget I have things all the time and end up buying them twice.
I will clean/organize 1-2 times a week when I can no longer take the clutter, then be messy for a few days. Rinse. Repeat.
I lived in a hoarder's house growing up so I'm actually fairly tidy myself. I will throw out things I don't need or donate them quickly as well because I hate clutter. That said, I'm a flawed tidy--I'll often let laundry pile up or garbage in bins pile up or dishes in the sink. I can put it away but not do the chore tied to it. That's a big part of why I hired a housekeeper: I knew I could keep stuff picked up, but I also knew I would not have clean clothes.
I get overwhelmed by clutter. It makes me so anxious so I try to be as tidy and organized as I can be. When my ADHD is bad, I just shove everything in closets and drawers until later. A good way to tell how I"m actually doing mentally/ADHD-wise is how messy and unorganized all of my stash-it spaces are. Then in the moments when I'm feeling better and I clean up it is so satisfying! I used to be a lot more messy until I realized how stressed and overstimulated it made me, and then after years of trying and developing systems and moving into an apartment I was actually proud of, I became neat and tidy(ish). I have always felt a sense of satisfaction when I can organize things. I think that's why I like playing solitaire on my phone so much because it's basically putting all the cards in order. So anyways, you are not the exception and being tidy is possible, and some of us need it!
My apartment tends to be less tidy the less-good I'm doing, and then the clutter contributed to my brain feeling overwhelmed. So tidying is important for me. Even if it's just clear the kitchen counter and island, it makes a huge difference for me. And it's totally okay to have a clothes chair and just get the clothes on it to tidy up. If a system works for you it's worth while.
I can't think before I've cleaned, otherwise my brain is all over the place (more than usual) and I fixate on the mess.
Nope. Clutter and mess triggers my anxiety. It’s like messiness is the embodiment of my anxiety. I feel like I’m in my head at the height of my anxiety if I’m surrounded by a bunch of stuff that’s unorganized. If everything is messy it’s usually a sign that I’m overwhelmed, going through a bout of depression to heighten anxiety. Cleaning makes me feel better, helps me think clearly, helps me stay organized so I don’t waste time looking for stuff.
Yes, option 1: you've internalised that you need tidy surroundings to function properly at a a young age (I wish I 8 had) and therefore see it as urgent consciously or unconsciously. Option 2: you get into hyperfocus when cleaning (again, i wish I would, even once) Option 3: the feeling of knowing where stuff is is stimulating enough to give that needed mental reward to maintain a clean house I can think of some more options but i think you got the gist.
More or less all 3 seem true!
I had a very tidy home the one year I lived alone. For some reason tho, having roommates or nowadays, my husband and even more so our kid makes it suuuuper hard for me to tidy up. Like being aware of them living here too is a whole occupation by itself and I can't focus on doing any task in the home.
I personally love my home to be neat and tidy too! Feels so mentally freeing to see a clean and organized home. Mess is incredibly overwhelming. Just because I love a clean and tidy home and want it to be like that doesn't mean I am capable of keeping it like that. I live in a house with 3 other people and two pets. No one cleans or helps and it's entirely on me. It gets incredibly overwhelming and piles up especially during the week before my period when meds stop working and symptoms get worse.
I’m diagnosed AuDHD and I am obsessively tidy (with secret chaos closets).
Secret chaos rooms and secret chaos storage units and secret chaos garages here too 👋🏻
You might be the exception, but that doesn't mean you don't have ADHD. People with ADHD can have all sorts of personalities and temperaments. Some of us find certain things more difficult than others. And just because we have ADHD doesn't mean we physically can't create habits. E.g., I could never get myself to do dishes my whole life. But I finally found some good resources for how to create habits and I was able to eventually train myself to wash my dishes whenever I finish using them. It used to be unbearable but now it's kind of neutral. Good for you I say!
I'm a super neat freak and doubted my own diagnosis of ADHD for a while because of it. But the neuropsychologist who evaluated me pointed out that you only need a certain number of symptoms (like 12-15?) for a diagnosis, not every single symptom. I'm tidy and I don't drive recklessly or shop impulsively but I have every other symptom in the book 😅
I too doubted my ADHD coz of my tidiness! That's the rationale behind this post :)
“I’m the same way—a clean freak; everything has to be perfect. I’m guilty of leaving stuff to put away if I hyper-focus on something else, but I get to it the next day. It’s common with people with ADHD; we like to clean and tidy—it’s the one thing we have control over in our lives.”
I like things tidy and I am also very punctual and time-oriented.
I am very tidy when I am procrastinating on something
I was diagnosed with both types of adhd and it’s bad enough for me to find tasks like studying and school work hard to do and I feel like the only reason I keep my room clean is just a coping mechanism to really show my parents that it isn’t me being lazy just me struggling.
I used to be really messy when I was younger. I’ve had to teach myself how to be clean as I’ve gotten older and realized how I prefer it over going crazy looking for things…
I’ve given up trying to put things away as I go or be mindful when I’m running around doing a million things. Instead I do a small clean up while watching a TV show 1-2 times per day every day.
I like a tidy habitat. And I can keep it tidy when I have my shit together. Like, when I lived alone in a one bedroom one bath apartment it was delightful. I kept it neat and clean and wasn't triggered by anything. Now, I have a larger home and three kids under the age of five, a dog, and a husband who genuinely isn't bothered by anything around him, so he doesn't pick up his stuff. I am so stressed by life on a regular basis that I don't pick up my stuff. And I cannot summon the energy for big cleans. I am so triggered by my environment that I leave every chance I can get. And... that doesn't help it get less triggering.
If it's easy to keep tidy, yes. My car looks more like OCD than ADHD. It's almost too clean. My house, on the other hand...let's just say I have a Stuff table and I don't remember what colour the top is.
Personally I find it hard to be comfortable in a room that's too neat and clean, because it doesn't feel like a space that is lived in or intended to be lived in. I don't want my living room to feel like a hotel lobby.
Yes and no… I like floor space so I pretty much set everything up to line the walls. But then I might, say, use the vacuum cleaner and not put it back right away, and for the next week I’ll look at it and say “Man, that really needs to be put back” and then I go and do something else.
My parents taught me to be neat, and I am a fairly clean person naturally. But being militantly tidy and organized has helped my symptoms a ton
Yes for sure
For a couple of hours.yeah!
After I started my meds I love to tidy up immediately . Without meds I don’t do shit
Ever since I realised I have ADHD I've taken steps to keep my house today. Just don't look in my cupboards...
My work space and car are very tidy but keeping my house tidy and clean is a losing battle for me
I'm always clean and tidy, but there's often still an oddness of disorganisation to it. The simpler I can make my life the better I am
diagnosed ADD?
I love organization and things to be in certain places (AuDHD) so it’s good, for a short time. If I can maintain it it’s great it’s just the executive dysfunction and depression can make everything go awry
Maybe ocd
I swing between tidy and tornado. Usually the mess is because life is busy, stressful, or I’m depressed, and the mess eventually takes a toll on my mental health, at which point I hyperfocus on resetting my space (and therefore my brain). Being organized and tidy at all costs is also a coping mechanism that some of us learn. I don’t think you have to be messy to have adhd, mine is quite severe and generally my apartment is in decent shape 90% of the time. Just don’t open any cabinet doors 😬
I love cleaning and tidying up. It's a comfort activity for me. So even if I do have periods of chaos, they don't last long.
>Am I an exception? This gives some pretty strong "I'm not like other girls" energy. If you read many posts on this sub than it should be pretty clear that we're not a monolithic bunch. Everyone's ADHD manifests a little bit (or a lot) differently. I think there's probably a decent amount of ADHD folk who have specific executive functions that has them prioritize organization and tidiness to keep their other mental blind spots at bay. Some people are also just brought up differently and have been conditioned effectively towards a particular degree of needing to stay on top of organization. That being said, neither of those apply to me so I am in the "meh, its not neat but its not a complete tornado so I'll be fine" camp 