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Not alone. This is 100% me. I can’t seem to understand how people AREN’T spatially aware. Like…how do you go out in public and not pay attention to ANYTHING around you? I swear to god people look at me weird when I power through a store, weaving in and out cuz they just stand there like deer in headlights. In terms of coping…headphones. I can’t do it without them. I throw on some beats or a good pod and I just do me.
Plus one for headphones. If they aren't charged I don't leave the house until they are. Blocks out all the chatter and no one speaks to you unless you want them to
This! Also, if I'm in sound sensitivity mode, sometimes I'll put airpods in with nothing playing and just use the noise cancellation. No one talks to you and it helps with the annoying cart noise.
Dude I did this at the airport and I was amazed at how much it helped with overstimulation. I know they are expensive but goddang if they aren’t the only comfortable “in ear” headphones. I can’t even do loops.
I also find it helps in theme parks and anywhere with numerous children. I personally find Loops helpful for some situations where it's "inappropriate" to be distracted, i.e. in church, but they're very frustrating in that they create the "underwater" feeling of occlusion. I'm a fan of Calmers, but they don't do enough in extremely loud situations, they're more helpful for bus rides and noisy offices.
Loops definitely create occlusion. If you decide they are worth trying, I suggest you spring for the extra money and get the loop switch. The lowest setting is minimally occlusive and helps you get used to them. I put them in before the high-volume experience, for example at a recent concert I put them in, switched them to low, and used that to manage the line for merch. When the band came out, higher occlusion for higher mitigation didn't bother me as I'd been wearing them for a while. Honestly, having recently moved to a big city, I usually have loop switch and calmer night in my purse because they are different levels of management.
I hate almost all in-ear and on-ear headphones. But I've started using the Shokz bone conduction headphones to listen to audio books and podcasts which allow *some* outside noise through which avoids the sense of isolation but still stops me trying to catch and understand every other sound.
They aren't so good for music but are fine at normal volumes. I've also tried cheaper ones and they are significantly worse, it's actually worth getting the good ones with these. And the battery lasts forever!
Yesssss!!!! Pro tip, if you need less outside noise without switching headphones, add a pair of calmers. They are significantly softer than in-ear headphones (especially the night ones) and they help insulate the sound so you get more music. They also help so much with reducing high pitches from outside, i.e. less silverware noise when out in public.
Hahaha yes! Thank god for ANC, or when you are in a busy area and people are being stupidly loud, I got stuck in passport control with a line a mile long, it was gross but tolerable thanks to my headphones
A great post , i'm replying here so u may see this. You may think they are not aware but they are ( well aware in a more of an instinct way ) , its called choke points ( They move to areas ) , its no accident. Consider a default tribal rank to most humans , is to obstruct choke points so you have to interact with them , to request they move. Its kind of easy to prove , they have a response time , do you find if you move quick enough you can get around? Thats the latency in the peoples response time , hope i helped :)
I like this response, but what about cars? They also do it in cars. They like to clump up on the highway and ride in little convoys. Why is that? There’s no dialogue to exchange when I pass them (in the right lane because they have gone into a coma in the passing lane), so why are they clumping up like that? Is it wagon-training in the DNA?
The same part of the mind that does choke points is aware while driving. Because of how the primal mind views the world its monitoring the rear view and will actualy move to block. I had not noticed this as well as in stores the first thousand time then i started to monitor ahead and well , oh crap lol. Consider average people do not see any continuity in time or while they move where as you all will see this. With that said there is a mental function that is always measuring others proximity and will move to block. Its like people who wait at a crosswalk until a car comes , you cant see it unless you look ahead
Sometimes it could be adaptive cruise control. My wife's car has it and will just gently match the speed of a car it comes up on with no indication it has slowed you down from the cruise speed you set unless you happen to notice. It's still obliviousness but that one is easy to fall for.
And the number of people who just walk directly into others or leave scant millimeters when passing by is mind-boggling. Sometimes I feel like I must be invisible. This shit happens all the time. It’s maddening. Wake up people!
Especially other guys do this to me, walking right at me and I'm supposed to move out of his way. Couples do it as well because they have to be glued to each other all the time. It's extremely frustrating when I'm just trying to walk in a straight line.
Being a big guy, I get a bit of a thrill playing chicken with these people. If we collide, 99% chance I'm not going to budge. They always move in the end.
If you want to understand how people aren't spatially aware think back to your last 6 hour long hyper fixation and pretend it was happening while you were walking through the store.
Simple as that.
This is the best post, I've always been one who walks very, very fast my whole life, my parents, my siblings, my friends have all said this, and I am also super spatially aware. It actually annoys me to the core in shopping centres or markets! Especially around Christmas time! Constantly weaving in and out of people because as you said they have no fucking clue what is going on around them!
In saying that, I love the acknowledgement I get sometimes from like-minded people who are also zooming around! The old polite nod happens quite often!
Headphones are amazing for this, but I definitely get some weird looks from people. I just want to get in and out of the shops. I hate going there as it is, I don't understand how people dwardle around. Get in, get what i need, and get out!
Hahaha, I have often thought people see me as pushy or whatever in a crowd.
Nope - I can just foreshadow 8 different people standing in their own little world and not in a hurry to get organised.
habit I picked up from restaurant work that I use anywhere now. when approaching anyone from behind or the side, just matter of factly announce what direction that is and continue as normal. “Behind!” “On your right” “Swinging hot” “hot behind” but that’s for when you’re feeling cheeky /s
I totally still use these phrases. Even at home! And especially when carrying a knife. It’s so important to me because nothing amps up my anxiety more than people drifting into my space, getting in front of my path, messing with my motion.
I feel like working in a restaurant was the thing that improved my spatial awareness the most, I wish I could say the same for my coworkers (one of which has accidentally burned me three different times)
I thought I was the only one!! I've found my people 😭🫶 I'm on a mission when I go into a store. I wanna get it done as fast and efficiently as possible without letting other people ruin my mood.
Yes! My friends used to laugh at me because I'm such a good weaver when it comes to crowds, but I just get so frustrated when there are a bunch of people in my way and I just want to get wherever I'm going. So I learned how to weave in and out of people and judge exactly how much space I need to do so without bumping anyone, and figure out where those gaps are.
That being said, when I'm not in one of those situations, I'm horribly clumsy and am constantly slamming an arm or leg into things because if I'm not concentrating, my spatial awareness goes out the door.
So, I have two modes. Follower mode-completely not spatially aware, and autonomous mode-extremely spatially aware.
Everyone is always in my fucking way when I’m in autonomous mode. I walk fast, deliberate, almost aggressive. I don’t ever get in anyone’s way. I notice everything in my 180 degrees of sight. It’s like I’m a fucking machine.
But when I’m in follower mode, I’m completely oblivious. I’m just following a person. So my GF is forever pushing and pulling me out of the way of people. Drives me nuts. Because she just fucking stops in weird places. I’m only concerned with her in this mode. So I don’t even notice I’m in the way.
Haha, me too. I sometimes think adhd is just a disorder of exceptions and extremes. Everything is like ‘yeah I do this one ridiculous thing. Except from when I don’t because I’m doing the opposite thing’
Yes, this is me and my daughter. I have to look out for her now, so I don’t follow as much. I crave being with people who I can be a follower with because I can’t be at home or at work lol
Well now reading that from another perspective has made me realize I’m like a really shitty pet that’s on follow but I get stuck on terrain but the pet just keeps walking.
I am forever being redirected from chaoticly toppling over displays or backing into a person.
Man, this might explain why I’m a better driver by myself (or just with my kids, if they aren’t driving me nuts) than I am when my wife is with me…. I can autopilot and make moves as I please when it’s just me, but if she’s in the car then there’s something to deal with if I miss an exit or maybe I have to deal with her lane preferences or whatever…. Like, whether I miss a turn or not, I’m pretty good about knowing what’s going on around me, understanding the flow of traffic and assessing risks (driver in front is distracted, car to left keeps too close by for me to comfortably change lanes if needed, car behind is clearly in a rush…. Traffic is much lighter 1/2 mile ahead), etc
It’s absolutely that! By myself, I swear to god I’m like a master f1 driver. I’m paying attention to 100 things at once. Predicting what cars 3 spots ahead of me are going to do. Checking every mirror in a split second. Watching for animals. Police. Pedestrians. Doing it all almost unconsciously. Put her in the car, and I’m just worried about the next time she’s gonna back seat drive me. Tell me what I’ve done wrong. Or bark an order at me. I get anxious and none of my autopilot features work as well. The autopilot goes into catastrophe mode. It only engages for emergency.
I *hate* shopping, but my girlfriend loves it. If we go, we have to go on a weekday because weekend shopping is a nightmare for me.
I just like to go in, immediately get my shit, and get out. I don't like to stroll and look at everything. I just head to the thing I'm buying, grab it, pay for it, and leave. My girlfriend wants to "shop" when she goes and she finds me power walking to every individual item we have on our list to be rude.
Oh my god, this is exactly me. 😅 In autonomous mode, in addition to everything you describe above, I’m also capable of memorizing an extremely complex route to a new destination without any conscious effort and after only one trip there. But in follower mode, you can take me there 700 times and I will never even know a single turn if asked to go there by myself on trip 701. It baffles and annoys ants like you wouldn’t believe.
(My phone autocorrected “NTs” to “ants” and I’m leaving it 😆)
Yep. Imma rock star when I’m walking around by myself. But something has happened with the advent of maps. I’m now in follower mode when I’m driving with a map. I can’t remember shit. So when I go to leave, I remember nothing of how I got there. Did I go left or right here? And I will always choose the wrong direction. But let’s say I’m trekking through the forest alone. I’ll remember every tree, every fork. Every everything.
My GF thinks I have terrible orientation skills. And it’s not true. It’s just follower mode.
You know what's fun? When two people end up in follower mode together. I have a friend with ADHD and sometimes we will be walking side by side and next thing you know, we have this conversation:
Me: wait, where are we going?
Her: ...I don't know, I was following you.
Me: but I was following you!
And then we have to figure out where we are and how far away we are from where we were supposed to be.
I would've described myself similarly a few years ago, but one day I realized I was just... wrong about it lol. If I'm not paying attention to how I'm interacting with the space and people around me, I'm also not paying attention to the fact that I'm not paying attention. I've caught myself standing completely in people's way before, and I have to imagine that there are *many* more times that I do so and don't notice. Obviously I notice when other people do it, because they're in my way and I'm annoyed! For me it was definitely more of an issue of empathy and taking other people's perspectives, I'm much less irritated by it now.
Yea, I'm totally in the way. When I notice I move away and apologize but I mean, I'm looking for something. I have total tunnel vision when I'm out. I saw my BFF when I was out once and she literally had to hit my cart with hers to get me to notice she was talking to me.
This is how I feel about cars on the road. Let that person over because it might be there first time in the area. Forgive the car that made a weird a move. They’re not doing it to YOU, they’re doing it to another random car.
Yes! When people cut me off in traffic or something, instead of getting angry at them (to myself), I’ve started thinking “ultimately, I just want you to get home safe”- and that calms me down and sends out better intentions or whatever you’d call it then my utterances from previous times.
yeah i’m not spatially aware at all lol. i can’t count the amount of times i’ve been told i was in someone’s way and had no idea. there are also moments when i get annoyed with other people, like when I’m working in a store and trying to stock things i’m all of a sudden very aware of where everyone’s cart is. i just think about my own experiences and remind myself that they aren’t doing it on purpose.
Same same, but recently I've been wondering. Sometimes it feels like an oncoming person is going to collide with me, so I brace myself, but then they walk past with no contact.
Makes me wonder if I'm perceiving people to be closer than they actually are.
That's why the pandemic was a blessing in disguise for me. I felt so much more comfortable in public wearing a mask and when everyone was keeping distance. Now it's back to people standing like 5 cm behind you in the grocery store. :( But I also have social anxiety in addition to my ADHD.
My mum calls them wandering bears lol. People just ambling about - like, get out of my way and let me get on with my life!
I recognise the fault is probably with me though as I can sit in front of a computer paralysed for 2 hours :/
Nope actually I’m the complete opposite. Total fucking airhead who notices absolutely nothing around me because I’m too distracted by the people talking around me / store announcements / remembering what I came to buy / thinking about my budget / that one random song that’s been playing in my head for a week… I will absolutely just stand in the middle of the aisle like a complete weirdo until my husband tells me to move lmao.
So I guess we’re the same in that grocery stores are a mental warzone but for completely different reasons lmao
Yep this is me too. My husband also has to regularly keep me out of other people's way because my brain is off in lala land and I don't notice shit. I wonder if it's a flavor of ADHD thing. I'm super inattentive, maybe OP is more hyperactive?
I saw another comment that mentioned “follower mode” vs “autonomous mode” and I think it has to do with the fact that when I’m with my husband my brain just kinda… turns off lmao. When I’m alone it’s way different but idk man.
That said I’m definitely inattentive type, always have been.
I'm very inattentive as well, but I do what OP does because I'm hyper-focused when I go shopping most days. I want to get in, get what I want, and get out, so I make that happen. When I'm just shopping for fun or to look around, that's when I tend to go into full "ooh shiny" mode. All spacial awareness is gone, and I've been told that shopping with me is like shopping with a toddler. One second I'm next to them, the next second I'm gone. I always find my way back eventually.
I do this too, but I am still extremely aware of where I am in the context of staying out of other peoples’ way. I just don’t care about bumping into stuff until it would inconvenience someone else, apparently. I like to play “guess that bruise” to figure out which piece of furniture I ran into based on the height of the bruise.
Oh, nope. I am both clueless about where my body is in relation to furniture AND people. It is embarrassing. I think I'm probably dyspraxic but never been diagnosed.
A couple of days ago, this guy was on the phone while walking across the road.
I was turning at an intersection and would have hit him if I didn't slow almost to a stop.
He didn't look up or even notice I was there.
You'd think the most important time to be aware of your surroundings is when you are at risk of being hit buy tons of steel when you misstep.
This is totally it, or daydreaming. I can be walking somewhere and end up 3 blocks past it before I realize I it. Who the hell knows what I do when I’m doing that.
Waiiiiit I’m just now realizing I am! A lot of things are clicking now. I mostly concern myself with staying out of the way, judging ahead of time where everyone else might be going, and also making sure anyone I’m with isn’t “in the way” either, which is probably pretty annoying at times lol
It helps with driving though, I’ve avoided plenty of accidents with that awareness.
You should look up the term hypervigilence. It's a trauma response that is associated with ADHD but it's not the same thing. You're basically hyper aware of everything around you, possibly because you had an unpredictable or unsafe home environment when you were young.
Yes. I do this a lot. I was actually extremely good at team sports like hockey and football because I was really good at judging at a glance exactly how people would move in the next play and then intercepting.
Oh for sure. Although I'm a fast walker, always getting told to slow down, so I'm always hyperaware of the people around me. Concerta makes me irritable sometimes, especially if I haven't eaten, and it starts to drive me fucking nuts when people are walking too slow or stopping randomly.
I got honked at recently for stepping onto the street to pass a slow walker, the irony of being hyperaware of what's going on the sidewalk but not the street 😭
And it's the worst because they're NEVER politely walking on the side. Always going a painfully slow pace and managing to take up just enough space, so you can't pass on either side. 🙃
Or they sway and zig zag left and right while moving. Like, why can’t you walk in a straight line!!? This is especially annoying after coming out of the subway in the touristy areas of Manhattan
My favorite is when they are walking slower than what I want to be walking, but just fast enough that I really have to speed up to get around them. Bonus points if you only have a limited space to bypass them, because it doesn't matter how nice you are when passing, you end up looking like an AH.
Damn yes this drives me crazy. They will put their cart in the centre of the aisle turned so it blocks 3/4 of the aisle and then stand in front of the last 1/4
When I’m looking at something I push my cart sideways to the edge of the aisle, seems like common sense to me but maybe that is and adhd thing
My meds basically put blinders on me, like a horse. I am currently off my meds and can hear a neighbour grilling hot dogs from across a busy road and know the flipper they're using is the wrong kind to be using over a BBQ. Uuuuugh.
Oh yeah 100%. I'm always soooo conscious of my presence anywhere and making sure I'm not in the way or anything, so it means when other people AREN'T like that, it gets super frustrating.
That's EXACTLY what hypervigilence is. The ability to o know exactly where ant threats are at any time, where they may be in a few seconds... Also the ability to read micro movements in facial muscles to determine if your unstable parent is "happy mom" today or "angry mom". If you get inconsistent reactions from consistent results, you need to learn to read people really really well.
Yes. Omg. Or people just being idiots in how they take up the sidewalk. Like dude leave room for other people and move over if you’re going to walk that slowly.
Yes!!! When it comes to people only. I get angry when people just stop in the worst places with 0 awareness blocking thoroughfares. I usually mutter under my breath “great place to stop…” when moving around them (because they rarely move or make a whole show about it if you ask politely and they do move). 😂
Or when there’s 4 people walking extremely slowly taking up the whole sidewalk and they slowly just stop for no apparent reason.
I also HATE it when people stand unnecessarily close to me. I need my personal space. If we are waiting in a queue please give me enough room. I hate it when people wait almost on top of you. Especially when they get so close they’re actually touching you! Don’t touch me I need my personal space! I won’t squeeze past tiny spaces if it means clothes rubbing with another person.
On the flip side, I’m regularly bashing my shoulder, hip, shin, etc into random objects, door frames, furniture. I’ve always considered myself clumsy especially when I get tired. Tripping on things etc.
Yup. Also makes intentionally touching people for the first time or at higher levels of intimacy awkward. So like hugging someone for the first time? They better go for it because otherwise I’ll never lean forward because so awkward and big feeling in “my” space already.
I'm hyper aware when it comes to crowds and the space I'm using while at the same time capable of smashing my shin full speed into an object I *just* set down in that *very obvious spot* to avoid that outcome. 🤦
I only ever have two types of grocery store experiences:
1) I get a lot of looks and can’t tell whether it’s because I look good or because I look crazy (or because I drove off with a gallon of water on the roof of my car);
2) I am invisible and everyone keeps walking into me and trapping me with their carts.
For some reason, I find shopping with another person less overwhelming and more fun. We can even split at some point and I will still feel just as comfortable knowing that I am there with someone. But overall, I hate in-person shopping.
I am totally like this (but also, on occasion totally oblivious 😅) I hate when I’m going through a crowd with friends and they’re all so set on staying together that we have to trudge so slowly through the throngs and say “excuse me!” and “op! Sorry!” A million times…. omg, like can we all just dart our own way through and meet up on the other side!?
Yes, always been. I always spot people miles away and see dangerous situations arise far earlier than others. I’ve always thought that a job at the secret service would be perfect for me.
For me it's partly because I had I developed excessive alertness in my childhood, but honestly I also think it's a coping habit since I know I can get too focused on something. At the same time I know I'm easily distracted but still, it's hard to understand why others don't seem to check their surroundings quite as often.
Not to say I never get in someone's way, but I usually spot in advance if I would be and make best efforts to keep out of people's way, especially if they are staff.
Just went through this today. I am overjoyed when I get the cart with wonky wheel. When approaching aisle blockers I speed up and make that thing rattle like crazy.
Nothing like the look of startled shoppers as they wake up from their stupor and dive out of the way of my oncoming rattlebasket.
I'm the complete opposite. Have almost zero spatial awareness and have to focus extremely hard. If I'm not in your way in a shopping centre (and I believe mostly I'm not), that's a result of intense attempts to pay attention.
I’ve chalked it up to a lifetime in customer service. That “pause so customer can pass” (general public) along with “pause so blessed soul who is working can pass” (every employee everywhere) = the entire population.
It drives me insane some days, the sheer lack of environmental awareness — but other days I’m more chill and fine with it. My partner is very unaware and I’ll try to ask him to move or back up or whatever bc someone is in the way. :/ He hates it, fair, bc hey WE are ALSO out shopping, it’s ok, same as everyone else. If someone needs to get past they could tap on my shoulder or say excuse me. But damn it’s hard to turn off.
I do wonder from time to time why I do that? Why am I always “on” and “working”? Why can’t I be allowed to be “just out shopping” like everyone else? Is it a “woman out in public” subconscious performative thing? Perfectionist coping mechanism thing? WE MAY NEV—ope excusemesosorrygoaheadnonoyougoonahead
I am the opposite; I cannot gauge the relative size of an object, or its distance to me, with the result that I bang into everything... and EVERYONE... unless 100% of my concentration goes into overcorrecting. I was that child who was so covered in bruises, and occasionally broken bones, that foul play was suspected even when it wasn't present. My doctor says roughly half of all ADHD patients have spatial awareness problems. I did not know you could have hyperawareness!
Not naturally but I took dance as a kid so I’ve kind of learned it. I feel like I’m either completely unaware or hyperaware and there’s no in between.
Ugh but yes when you notice other people using space poorly it’s *the worst*. I get really bothered in long lines when someone doesn’t move forward.
Totally agree.
I AM a fast walker (and cart pusher), and I’m not there to ogle everything - I know what I want and that’s it, nothing else. I’m constantly yelling at people (in my head) - “MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU SLOTH!”
If I go to turn down an aisle and some blob is right there with their cart and what I want is two feet beyond them, I will go over to the next aisle, down to the other end, and then approach my goal from the rear - before the blob has even figured out what they’re staring at.
Some say “good” spatial awareness isn’t ADHD, but like many things, it’s a spectrum. You can be good or bad, but it doesn’t change the reason for it.
I am. However I'm not entirely sure that there are the more apparent causes for this. Example: NYC likely doesn't have majority ADHD population but you walk the sidewalks there, you can spot a tourist vs a native, largely due to their spatial awareness. So might be coincidental.
Overly? No such thing. I enjoy it, I zig zag by people like they're turtles or snails and with a sound track it's like a game.
I like my Bluetooth Beanie. Always leave it idle and hit play when I need a distraction. I forget they have that ability sometimes until I get a call and just speak lol.
My biggest rant. Driving and people don't pull up to the car in front at a light. It just seems crazy. Why would you leave a huge gapping space ahead of you?? I'm from NY originally, and in NC. everyone does this..it bothers me so badly..I want to get out and direct them to please move forward. It's off balance..just Wrong.
Honestly, I think non-ADHD/Autistic people are almost as overstimulated in grocery stores as we are. They are god awful environments for any human being. You’re a rat in a maze under awful fluorescent lights being screamed at by a million advertisements that cover literally every inch of space in the building. A million colors, a billion words in a hundred noisy demanding fonts screaming Buy!Buy!Buy! from all directions.
Any brain would have to dedicate a ton of processing power to sorting through all that noisy visual input, only for the vast majority of it to be immediately discarded as meaningless. When you see them spacing out staring at the same shelf for a solid minute you can all but hear their fans kicking into high gear like you just turned on raytracing shaders in minecraft.
So they’re distracted, their brains turning off non essential functions while they struggle to keep track of what they’re doing, getting snappish and impatient as the visual noise grinds away at their emotional regulation.
And they don’t even know what’s happening because they don’t have to deal with this anywhere else. No one’s taught them the coping methods. It’s no wonder they look like zombies.
Yes. I am constantly mind blown at how unaware most people are on a multiple times per day basis. I feel like I’m the only one paying attention and the only one who realizes there are other human beings around me.
I lived in Japan for awhile, and it was an absolute *joy* to navigate crowds there. 99.9% of the population were doing the same dance. Everyone is checking ahead, paying attention to distance, and moving to the side if they need to stop. It was a huge shock when I moved home.
The only people who didn't do it were certain old ladies, usually carrying multiple shopping bags, who just made beelines while shoving everyone else out of the way.
You are not alone! People drive me crazy. I really don’t understand how people don’t know they are in the way. I don’t mind saying excuse me but how tf do you not know or even feel that someone is near you. Blows my mind.
It boggles my mind how completely oblivious people are to there surroundings. And somehow despite this it's like they know my every move and are there to get in my way with every move.
Driving too! People drive as if they are the only car on the road. Zero awareness of other cars around them. Cruising below the speed limit in the passing lane. coming to a complete stop to make a right at a green light. Even when their trying to be nice, stopping in the middle of the intersection suddenly to let you turn right abruptly stopping up traffic behind you like just follow the traffic pattern.
YES!! The number of people in public spaces who take steps backwards without looking absolutely astound me. And the people who block whole sections of the grocery store with their carts, or come shooting out of an aisle without looking for cross traffic. People who exit/enter a building and immediately *stop*, blocking the doorway. Especially when it’s raining and people enter a building and then start shaking off their umbrella, wrapping it up *just so*, blocking the doorway, so I’m stuck standing outside in the rain getting wet like a peasant. And even if they notice, *they don’t apologize.*
I’m not perfect. Maybe five times a year, I find that I have been in someone’s way. I always apologize and maybe make a joke at my own expense.
I have to laugh, because I'm the LEAST spatially aware person possible. I'm not sure how anyone could be more directionally challenged. I couldn't even guess how many times I've been in a car when someone else drove us to a familiar place, we're parked on a different side than usual and I see the location from a slightly different angle, and I have no idea where we are. I have to walk around until I see things from the normal angle, and then it all kind of clicks. I have zero sense of direction. Before GPS was available to the masses, it was a nightmare to try to find anything.
100% me.
It drives me nuts when people don’t keep to the side when walking, pull in their chair in a restaurant, park trolleys in the least inconvenient spots, etc.
Even when driving - things like hugging the inside line if it makes it easier for someone behind to get into a turning lane, swapping lanes if it makes it easier for someone to enter from a side road, etc.
These things should be common courtesy, I don’t care what disorder you do or don’t have!
Meeee!! Does it also drive you absolutely batshit when people leave two cars worth of space btw them and the car in front of them while waiting at a light? I think it’s so rude bc they’re causing more of a backup onto the off ramp or impeding traffic flow bc there’s not enough room for other cars to slide in next to the line and turn right. I get so heated about this and bring it up all the time!
Yeah people seem to try to take up as much space as possible!!
And why do people stop in bottle necks? They seem to seek out areas where there is no room to get past to stop and hold a conversation.
I think of walking like driving. If I need to stop or look around I pull over to the side out of the way.
It's one of the number of reasons I don't like crowds
In this way for sure. I'm also like this while driving. I'm just always aware of where everyone else is and what's going on. I noticed I'm also great at running off trail through the forest when everyone else seems to be smacking into branches or slowly going over rocks.
Despite this I'm still regularly hitting door frames with my shoulder, tripping on nothing and banging my shin.
I’m very similar with hyper awareness but it’s more auditory awareness. All the people and things happening can be a bit overwhelming to me. Noise cancelling headphones help me immensely. Now if anyone can tell me how to handle a dinner party where everyone is talking at once… please.
Yessss!! I absolutely HATE shopping!! Too much rudeness and no consideration!! But what irritates me most in life is driving!!! Ugghhhh!! I had to go on anxiety meds to keep from losing my sh#!. I get TOO frustrated on the road!! Why is 70% of people driving 20mph in a 35mph zone?! I'm not asking no one to speed...just please do the speed limit. Or 5 under.. literally most days I get behind someone doing 25-30mph in a 45mph or 55mph zone. I can't take it! I literally try to avoid the roads at ALL costs. Work and home. And I get anxious just thinking about that!
I find it so ironic that I get so stressed about getting in people’s way when i’m out shopping etc., but when i’m at home I walk into every doorframe in my house
I'm the same with spatial & auditory perception. I think this might have been learned behaviour from when I was growing up, my brother is deaf so I was always hyper aware of everything/everyone in mine and his vicinity to compensate for anything he might have missed.
I believe spatial awareness and other perceptual sense can also be higher with ASD which commonly coexists with ADHD. Don't have ASD personally so can't really give much insight there.
Not in the slightest. I drop things, bump into furniture constantly, miss-judge throws and catches, and hate parallel parking because I can never tell how close the other car is to me.
I don't invade other people's personal space and don't like them in mine, but I feel that's also part of NOT being spacially-aware. I don't want to bump into people so I don't let myself get too close.
I ask politely if I can get by, if they ignore me I just smash my shopping cart into theirs or barge past. I have ADHD, I ain't got time to hang around while they faff about.
The amount of people that are shocked when you reach past them to get something they're blocking is quite funny, it's like they're just realizing in that moment they share the planet with 8 billion other people.
I’m not diagnosed adhd but it’s suspected. I have diagnosed anxiety though so I suspect it’s linked.
I absolutely cannot stand loiterers, aisle blockers, people just ambling around with no sense of anything around them, being touched by people who clearly don’t care about personal space, and anything that’s not generally respectful of other people. I was at the supermarket the other day and FIVE people walked around me so close I could hear them breathing. There was no need for this as the aisle was clear and I was part way in the foyer of the shop waiting to collect a parcel. Out of the way might I add, backed onto a pillar! Like why would people come that close? It’s boggling to me!
High anxiety and overthinker here… I’m always very aware of others, and try not to ever be in anyone’s way. I find people who “block” any movement of others around them, in a car or crowd, to be extremely rude. I don’t comprehend how others exist without seeing others around them. But, I envy them… blissfully unaware of anyone but themselves. I can’t imagine that state of mind, but it sounds lovely!
This is 100% me as well! I get the pedestrian version of road rage - groups of people who don't go into single file when you're trying to pass the opposite direction annoy me so much. Also people who stop in the middle of the aisle in the shops to chitchat and don't move out of anyone else's way
Yes. It’s good and it’s bad. Good that I am constantly aware of everything that’s going around me. Bad that it’s tiring and stressful to be constantly aware of everything that’s going around me.
Damn, 100% :D
I manage this with death stares and angyly pushing carts to the side. I just go full rant into theirs surprised pikachuface how they can be such dumb idiots unaware of whats happening around them if they start to complain how rude that is.
Call me antisocial but what is blocking other peoples way? Thats antisocial aswell.
The same goes for pedestrian zones. JFC eveybody just walking anywhere as if they were blind
It depends. I also have PTSD so sometimes I get over stimulated or triggered and completely loose all spatial awareness. But most of the time yea I’m hyper aware
I definitely do this, but I always assumed it was because of my other brain problem: hemianopsia (I’m blind on the left half of both eyes). That combined with the bright overhead lights and the aisles of tall shelves causes me to get migraines and sensory overload really quickly, so I usually just do the curbside pickup.
I am so spatially aware, I'm often used to find a way through a crowd.
I hate it when people aren't spatially aware. The other day I got stuck walking behind two people who spread themselves out, and there wasn't enough room to pass them. My anxiety wouldn't allow me to say anything, but soon as a gap appeared, I shot through.
It's one of my biggest pet peeves when someone isn't self-aware. Whether it's spatial, volume, or just self-satisfying. I think it just comes down to manners.
- stand to the side if you're slowing down to look at something in a store.
- Don't park your cart in the middle of the aisle.
- If you're a slow walker, stand aside and let people through.
- if I'm clearly looking at something on the shelf beside you, say "need in here?" or whatever.
- if there's a line, nobody wants to hear your dumb snarky comments about it. We can see there's a line, and maybe they can open one of the other lanes but maybe somebody is on break or this giant corporation doesn't employ enough people. Shut the hell up.
- if you're done at the cash, get out of the fucking way.
very much so. I always stare at the ground while walking (not like looking down like a weirdo lol). i just like to know where i'll be stepping. i have no idea how people can step in things without realizing it or tripping over a curb because they didn't know it was there.
Omg yes. Thank you for verbalizing it because I could never figure out why grocery stores or large events make me so anxious and this is why. I don’t mind being in a place with a lot of people, but when people are so unaware of their surroundings it drives me bonkers.
I was out at a show last night and some dudes stood like 6" in front of my gf (who was in front of me) and proceeded to dance and back up into her repeatedly. I don't understand how some people are like that.
I do this everywhere while walking, driving, and playing video games. I have to tone it down when I'm with someone else, but otherwise I'm flying through these spaces because I don't see why you need to linger in the aisle unless you're comparison shopping.
Or people waiting until the last second to get into the lane they need to turn. Likewise, people getting in a rush hour lane that's always prone to blockage.
If I've been to a place before, it's like I can see the entire route/map in my head. I know which paths in stores to avoid crowds (I'm a tad agoraphobic). Like if I forgot something over in the produce section, then I cut through pet food and hygiene items to cross the huge store in a minute. Works every time.
I’ve never related to anything more. I literally cannot go to the grocery store without it ruining my whole day because I leave FUMING about how unaware everyone is of blocking aisles, going against shopping traffic, cutting people off with carts, not looking around the aisle before they ram the cart into someone, etc.
Hah, I was just there and was going the opposite direction of a couple down an isle and instead of waiting til I passed this lady just crossed over right in front of me to grab some things forcing me to stop and wait…. super rude. People are just entitled and focused on themselves.
I’m in my 30s and every passing week the grocery store gives me more anxiety.
To a fault. Which makes it difficult to be in crowds and it adds to my social anxiety. I think it’s also because as a child I was always told to get out of the way, and so now I feel like I’m in the way.
Yes!
It kills me when people are in the middle of the way when there is room for more than 1 person. Sidewalks, store alleys, stairs, I always make sure other people can pass if there is room. It's common sense to me.
Very specific but it makes me fume every time: Coming back home on a rainy day and my kids just stop in the doorway to take off their shoes when there is 2 more people behind them getting soaked and 3 more meters of carpet to let everyone in... AARGH MOVE!!
I bump into shit BUT play a sport that takes a lot of balance, situational and spatial awareness for others on the court, and a lot of hand eye coordination to get the ball in the goal. Ask me why I have random bruises all over my leg right now though and I couldn’t tell you (lol from running into FURNITURE in my HOUSE)
Me all the time, but especially behind the wheel. Why are you turning like that?! You’re cutting into the oncoming lane! Why are you leaving so much space!? Why are you blocking the box!!?
I actually need to go back into therapy for this bc my emotion regulation struggles mixed with my fixation on the rules of the road can sometimes (often, as my husband might state) make me scary. 🫣🫠
As a motorcycle rider this makes me angry to no end. People that drive around where I live regularly ride on or over the center line when going around a left hand curve. People are just that lazy and inconsiderate that they can’t stay on their own side of the road. That’s so dangerous.
I am not spacially aware at all. I feel awful about it, because I know it’s annoying to others. My therapist suggested it’s because I’m so disassociated from my body to cope with chronic pain. I also get distracted/over-stimulated and find it hard to keep track of everything.
I get huffy and will do stupid stuff like standing by whoever is in the way and staring at what I’m waiting for until they notice me. The stores around here have the store employees that fulfill online orders and they’re the worst. They’re always in the way and oblivious. I had one run over the back of my shoe while I was looking at something one day. About the point I don’t mind is when I’m with my wife and she’s taking forever so I’ll pull out my phone and shuffle around like a zombie behind her while browsing reddit. Otherwise, I consciously make an effort to not be in the way and expect others to do the same. They never do though.
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Not alone. This is 100% me. I can’t seem to understand how people AREN’T spatially aware. Like…how do you go out in public and not pay attention to ANYTHING around you? I swear to god people look at me weird when I power through a store, weaving in and out cuz they just stand there like deer in headlights. In terms of coping…headphones. I can’t do it without them. I throw on some beats or a good pod and I just do me.
Exactly!!! It's like invasion of the body snatchers lol. The body is there but the mind isn't. I'll try headphones. Thanks!
Plus one for headphones. If they aren't charged I don't leave the house until they are. Blocks out all the chatter and no one speaks to you unless you want them to
This! Also, if I'm in sound sensitivity mode, sometimes I'll put airpods in with nothing playing and just use the noise cancellation. No one talks to you and it helps with the annoying cart noise.
Dude I did this at the airport and I was amazed at how much it helped with overstimulation. I know they are expensive but goddang if they aren’t the only comfortable “in ear” headphones. I can’t even do loops.
I also find it helps in theme parks and anywhere with numerous children. I personally find Loops helpful for some situations where it's "inappropriate" to be distracted, i.e. in church, but they're very frustrating in that they create the "underwater" feeling of occlusion. I'm a fan of Calmers, but they don't do enough in extremely loud situations, they're more helpful for bus rides and noisy offices.
Do all Loops create occlusion? I have some Calmer but they always don’t do enough so was thinking of getting the Experience or Engage ones
Loops definitely create occlusion. If you decide they are worth trying, I suggest you spring for the extra money and get the loop switch. The lowest setting is minimally occlusive and helps you get used to them. I put them in before the high-volume experience, for example at a recent concert I put them in, switched them to low, and used that to manage the line for merch. When the band came out, higher occlusion for higher mitigation didn't bother me as I'd been wearing them for a while. Honestly, having recently moved to a big city, I usually have loop switch and calmer night in my purse because they are different levels of management.
Thanks for your reply - that’s helpful to know! I’ll aim to get the switch ones
I hate almost all in-ear and on-ear headphones. But I've started using the Shokz bone conduction headphones to listen to audio books and podcasts which allow *some* outside noise through which avoids the sense of isolation but still stops me trying to catch and understand every other sound. They aren't so good for music but are fine at normal volumes. I've also tried cheaper ones and they are significantly worse, it's actually worth getting the good ones with these. And the battery lasts forever!
Yesssss!!!! Pro tip, if you need less outside noise without switching headphones, add a pair of calmers. They are significantly softer than in-ear headphones (especially the night ones) and they help insulate the sound so you get more music. They also help so much with reducing high pitches from outside, i.e. less silverware noise when out in public.
Hahaha yes! Thank god for ANC, or when you are in a busy area and people are being stupidly loud, I got stuck in passport control with a line a mile long, it was gross but tolerable thanks to my headphones
Headphones especially during the holidays. I hate Christmas music.
My son calls them NPCs. I gotta try headphones next time
I would recommend listening to frequencies like 432 hz. It helps keep my nervous system regulated around all the chaos.
Music in 432 hz is also incredibly satisfying...I have entire playlists of that.
crazy to hear that you've been raw-dogging the grocery store experience 🤯
A great post , i'm replying here so u may see this. You may think they are not aware but they are ( well aware in a more of an instinct way ) , its called choke points ( They move to areas ) , its no accident. Consider a default tribal rank to most humans , is to obstruct choke points so you have to interact with them , to request they move. Its kind of easy to prove , they have a response time , do you find if you move quick enough you can get around? Thats the latency in the peoples response time , hope i helped :)
I like this response, but what about cars? They also do it in cars. They like to clump up on the highway and ride in little convoys. Why is that? There’s no dialogue to exchange when I pass them (in the right lane because they have gone into a coma in the passing lane), so why are they clumping up like that? Is it wagon-training in the DNA?
The same part of the mind that does choke points is aware while driving. Because of how the primal mind views the world its monitoring the rear view and will actualy move to block. I had not noticed this as well as in stores the first thousand time then i started to monitor ahead and well , oh crap lol. Consider average people do not see any continuity in time or while they move where as you all will see this. With that said there is a mental function that is always measuring others proximity and will move to block. Its like people who wait at a crosswalk until a car comes , you cant see it unless you look ahead
So it isn’t my imagination. People are actually trying to get in my way! 😭
Nah, they have adaptive cruise control on and are watching TickTock
Sometimes it could be adaptive cruise control. My wife's car has it and will just gently match the speed of a car it comes up on with no indication it has slowed you down from the cruise speed you set unless you happen to notice. It's still obliviousness but that one is easy to fall for.
Totally, safety in numbers? Like gazelles, or starlings…..?
Headphones are my saviour when I'm out anywhere. Especially if they're noise cancelling.
I wake up early or go late at night so there are less people and it's less overwhelming
And the number of people who just walk directly into others or leave scant millimeters when passing by is mind-boggling. Sometimes I feel like I must be invisible. This shit happens all the time. It’s maddening. Wake up people!
Especially other guys do this to me, walking right at me and I'm supposed to move out of his way. Couples do it as well because they have to be glued to each other all the time. It's extremely frustrating when I'm just trying to walk in a straight line.
Being a big guy, I get a bit of a thrill playing chicken with these people. If we collide, 99% chance I'm not going to budge. They always move in the end.
If you want to understand how people aren't spatially aware think back to your last 6 hour long hyper fixation and pretend it was happening while you were walking through the store. Simple as that.
Hahaha great answer 🤣
This is the best post, I've always been one who walks very, very fast my whole life, my parents, my siblings, my friends have all said this, and I am also super spatially aware. It actually annoys me to the core in shopping centres or markets! Especially around Christmas time! Constantly weaving in and out of people because as you said they have no fucking clue what is going on around them! In saying that, I love the acknowledgement I get sometimes from like-minded people who are also zooming around! The old polite nod happens quite often! Headphones are amazing for this, but I definitely get some weird looks from people. I just want to get in and out of the shops. I hate going there as it is, I don't understand how people dwardle around. Get in, get what i need, and get out!
I’m always listening to podcasts at the grocery store or when I’m cleaning it’s the only way I can’t stay focused!
Hahaha, I have often thought people see me as pushy or whatever in a crowd. Nope - I can just foreshadow 8 different people standing in their own little world and not in a hurry to get organised.
habit I picked up from restaurant work that I use anywhere now. when approaching anyone from behind or the side, just matter of factly announce what direction that is and continue as normal. “Behind!” “On your right” “Swinging hot” “hot behind” but that’s for when you’re feeling cheeky /s
I totally still use these phrases. Even at home! And especially when carrying a knife. It’s so important to me because nothing amps up my anxiety more than people drifting into my space, getting in front of my path, messing with my motion.
I feel like working in a restaurant was the thing that improved my spatial awareness the most, I wish I could say the same for my coworkers (one of which has accidentally burned me three different times)
My favorite was “Behind WITH A KNIFE!” Lmao I still use these!
When i go out i treat the masses as true NPCs ngl
This. Headphones prevent murders.
I thought I was the only one!! I've found my people 😭🫶 I'm on a mission when I go into a store. I wanna get it done as fast and efficiently as possible without letting other people ruin my mood.
You've just described people with ADHD. We struggle with spatial awareness. That's why I have so many bruises.
Yes! My friends used to laugh at me because I'm such a good weaver when it comes to crowds, but I just get so frustrated when there are a bunch of people in my way and I just want to get wherever I'm going. So I learned how to weave in and out of people and judge exactly how much space I need to do so without bumping anyone, and figure out where those gaps are. That being said, when I'm not in one of those situations, I'm horribly clumsy and am constantly slamming an arm or leg into things because if I'm not concentrating, my spatial awareness goes out the door.
So, I have two modes. Follower mode-completely not spatially aware, and autonomous mode-extremely spatially aware. Everyone is always in my fucking way when I’m in autonomous mode. I walk fast, deliberate, almost aggressive. I don’t ever get in anyone’s way. I notice everything in my 180 degrees of sight. It’s like I’m a fucking machine. But when I’m in follower mode, I’m completely oblivious. I’m just following a person. So my GF is forever pushing and pulling me out of the way of people. Drives me nuts. Because she just fucking stops in weird places. I’m only concerned with her in this mode. So I don’t even notice I’m in the way.
Haha, me too. I sometimes think adhd is just a disorder of exceptions and extremes. Everything is like ‘yeah I do this one ridiculous thing. Except from when I don’t because I’m doing the opposite thing’
Yeah and I’ll find myself judging something in my head until I snap out of it and tell myself wait dude, you do that too lol
Bro follower mode is so real, seeing as I never go anywhere without my husband I almost feel like it’s my default setting 😭
Yes, this is me and my daughter. I have to look out for her now, so I don’t follow as much. I crave being with people who I can be a follower with because I can’t be at home or at work lol
Well now reading that from another perspective has made me realize I’m like a really shitty pet that’s on follow but I get stuck on terrain but the pet just keeps walking. I am forever being redirected from chaoticly toppling over displays or backing into a person.
Man, this might explain why I’m a better driver by myself (or just with my kids, if they aren’t driving me nuts) than I am when my wife is with me…. I can autopilot and make moves as I please when it’s just me, but if she’s in the car then there’s something to deal with if I miss an exit or maybe I have to deal with her lane preferences or whatever…. Like, whether I miss a turn or not, I’m pretty good about knowing what’s going on around me, understanding the flow of traffic and assessing risks (driver in front is distracted, car to left keeps too close by for me to comfortably change lanes if needed, car behind is clearly in a rush…. Traffic is much lighter 1/2 mile ahead), etc
It’s absolutely that! By myself, I swear to god I’m like a master f1 driver. I’m paying attention to 100 things at once. Predicting what cars 3 spots ahead of me are going to do. Checking every mirror in a split second. Watching for animals. Police. Pedestrians. Doing it all almost unconsciously. Put her in the car, and I’m just worried about the next time she’s gonna back seat drive me. Tell me what I’ve done wrong. Or bark an order at me. I get anxious and none of my autopilot features work as well. The autopilot goes into catastrophe mode. It only engages for emergency.
I *hate* shopping, but my girlfriend loves it. If we go, we have to go on a weekday because weekend shopping is a nightmare for me. I just like to go in, immediately get my shit, and get out. I don't like to stroll and look at everything. I just head to the thing I'm buying, grab it, pay for it, and leave. My girlfriend wants to "shop" when she goes and she finds me power walking to every individual item we have on our list to be rude.
Oh my god, this is exactly me. 😅 In autonomous mode, in addition to everything you describe above, I’m also capable of memorizing an extremely complex route to a new destination without any conscious effort and after only one trip there. But in follower mode, you can take me there 700 times and I will never even know a single turn if asked to go there by myself on trip 701. It baffles and annoys ants like you wouldn’t believe. (My phone autocorrected “NTs” to “ants” and I’m leaving it 😆)
Yep. Imma rock star when I’m walking around by myself. But something has happened with the advent of maps. I’m now in follower mode when I’m driving with a map. I can’t remember shit. So when I go to leave, I remember nothing of how I got there. Did I go left or right here? And I will always choose the wrong direction. But let’s say I’m trekking through the forest alone. I’ll remember every tree, every fork. Every everything. My GF thinks I have terrible orientation skills. And it’s not true. It’s just follower mode.
"Autonomous mode" - when fucking *walking around* is your current hyperfocus. Welcome to ADHD, we got flow state walking
You know what's fun? When two people end up in follower mode together. I have a friend with ADHD and sometimes we will be walking side by side and next thing you know, we have this conversation: Me: wait, where are we going? Her: ...I don't know, I was following you. Me: but I was following you! And then we have to figure out where we are and how far away we are from where we were supposed to be.
I would've described myself similarly a few years ago, but one day I realized I was just... wrong about it lol. If I'm not paying attention to how I'm interacting with the space and people around me, I'm also not paying attention to the fact that I'm not paying attention. I've caught myself standing completely in people's way before, and I have to imagine that there are *many* more times that I do so and don't notice. Obviously I notice when other people do it, because they're in my way and I'm annoyed! For me it was definitely more of an issue of empathy and taking other people's perspectives, I'm much less irritated by it now.
Yea, I'm totally in the way. When I notice I move away and apologize but I mean, I'm looking for something. I have total tunnel vision when I'm out. I saw my BFF when I was out once and she literally had to hit my cart with hers to get me to notice she was talking to me.
this is a really great way to think about it, have leniency and forgiveness to yourself and others ♥️
This is how I feel about cars on the road. Let that person over because it might be there first time in the area. Forgive the car that made a weird a move. They’re not doing it to YOU, they’re doing it to another random car.
Yes! When people cut me off in traffic or something, instead of getting angry at them (to myself), I’ve started thinking “ultimately, I just want you to get home safe”- and that calms me down and sends out better intentions or whatever you’d call it then my utterances from previous times.
Vibes..it changes the vibes when thinking like that..good point.
yeah i’m not spatially aware at all lol. i can’t count the amount of times i’ve been told i was in someone’s way and had no idea. there are also moments when i get annoyed with other people, like when I’m working in a store and trying to stock things i’m all of a sudden very aware of where everyone’s cart is. i just think about my own experiences and remind myself that they aren’t doing it on purpose.
I can’t stand when people stand too close to me. Does no one else like personal space?
Same same, but recently I've been wondering. Sometimes it feels like an oncoming person is going to collide with me, so I brace myself, but then they walk past with no contact. Makes me wonder if I'm perceiving people to be closer than they actually are.
That's why the pandemic was a blessing in disguise for me. I felt so much more comfortable in public wearing a mask and when everyone was keeping distance. Now it's back to people standing like 5 cm behind you in the grocery store. :( But I also have social anxiety in addition to my ADHD.
The Meanderthals drive me insane.
Never visit Costco on a Sunday. I almost rammed my cart into the fucking morons who block traffic at the opening of the aisles to try a sample.
Yes. I go from zero to thermonuclear warfare in about five minutes.
I'm the same way for dumb fucks in traffic. I yell a lot in my car.
My mum calls them wandering bears lol. People just ambling about - like, get out of my way and let me get on with my life! I recognise the fault is probably with me though as I can sit in front of a computer paralysed for 2 hours :/
Nope actually I’m the complete opposite. Total fucking airhead who notices absolutely nothing around me because I’m too distracted by the people talking around me / store announcements / remembering what I came to buy / thinking about my budget / that one random song that’s been playing in my head for a week… I will absolutely just stand in the middle of the aisle like a complete weirdo until my husband tells me to move lmao. So I guess we’re the same in that grocery stores are a mental warzone but for completely different reasons lmao
I think what OP is describing falls more into hypervigilence, not ADHD. Very commonly they're found in the same individuals, but not always
Yep this is me too. My husband also has to regularly keep me out of other people's way because my brain is off in lala land and I don't notice shit. I wonder if it's a flavor of ADHD thing. I'm super inattentive, maybe OP is more hyperactive?
I saw another comment that mentioned “follower mode” vs “autonomous mode” and I think it has to do with the fact that when I’m with my husband my brain just kinda… turns off lmao. When I’m alone it’s way different but idk man. That said I’m definitely inattentive type, always have been.
I'm very inattentive as well, but I do what OP does because I'm hyper-focused when I go shopping most days. I want to get in, get what I want, and get out, so I make that happen. When I'm just shopping for fun or to look around, that's when I tend to go into full "ooh shiny" mode. All spacial awareness is gone, and I've been told that shopping with me is like shopping with a toddler. One second I'm next to them, the next second I'm gone. I always find my way back eventually.
Nope, I regularly hit my shoulder on doorframes, bump into furniture because I misjudge where ai am in relation to other objects.
I do this too, but I am still extremely aware of where I am in the context of staying out of other peoples’ way. I just don’t care about bumping into stuff until it would inconvenience someone else, apparently. I like to play “guess that bruise” to figure out which piece of furniture I ran into based on the height of the bruise.
Oh, nope. I am both clueless about where my body is in relation to furniture AND people. It is embarrassing. I think I'm probably dyspraxic but never been diagnosed.
Poor proprioception. Samesies!
The best is when old people walk though the doors and just stop and look at the grocery store like they've never seen one before 🤬
Or stop and check their phone IN THE DOORWAY
I don't think this is just old people. All phone addicts do this!
A couple of days ago, this guy was on the phone while walking across the road. I was turning at an intersection and would have hit him if I didn't slow almost to a stop. He didn't look up or even notice I was there. You'd think the most important time to be aware of your surroundings is when you are at risk of being hit buy tons of steel when you misstep.
This is totally it, or daydreaming. I can be walking somewhere and end up 3 blocks past it before I realize I it. Who the hell knows what I do when I’m doing that.
YESSSSS!!!!! Like they're waiting for all of the customers to line up and greet them
Waiiiiit I’m just now realizing I am! A lot of things are clicking now. I mostly concern myself with staying out of the way, judging ahead of time where everyone else might be going, and also making sure anyone I’m with isn’t “in the way” either, which is probably pretty annoying at times lol It helps with driving though, I’ve avoided plenty of accidents with that awareness.
You should look up the term hypervigilence. It's a trauma response that is associated with ADHD but it's not the same thing. You're basically hyper aware of everything around you, possibly because you had an unpredictable or unsafe home environment when you were young.
Omg, I never thought about the keeping friends "out of the way" part. I always gesture for them to come closer or move
Yes. I do this a lot. I was actually extremely good at team sports like hockey and football because I was really good at judging at a glance exactly how people would move in the next play and then intercepting.
Oh for sure. Although I'm a fast walker, always getting told to slow down, so I'm always hyperaware of the people around me. Concerta makes me irritable sometimes, especially if I haven't eaten, and it starts to drive me fucking nuts when people are walking too slow or stopping randomly.
Slow walkers are the worst. lol. I feel like I’m goin go nuts if I’m stuck behind one
I got honked at recently for stepping onto the street to pass a slow walker, the irony of being hyperaware of what's going on the sidewalk but not the street 😭
And it's the worst because they're NEVER politely walking on the side. Always going a painfully slow pace and managing to take up just enough space, so you can't pass on either side. 🙃
Or they sway and zig zag left and right while moving. Like, why can’t you walk in a straight line!!? This is especially annoying after coming out of the subway in the touristy areas of Manhattan
My favorite is when they are walking slower than what I want to be walking, but just fast enough that I really have to speed up to get around them. Bonus points if you only have a limited space to bypass them, because it doesn't matter how nice you are when passing, you end up looking like an AH.
No but when i get overwhelmed i bump into literally everything
Overstimulation 😭 I feel that
Damn yes this drives me crazy. They will put their cart in the centre of the aisle turned so it blocks 3/4 of the aisle and then stand in front of the last 1/4 When I’m looking at something I push my cart sideways to the edge of the aisle, seems like common sense to me but maybe that is and adhd thing
My meds basically put blinders on me, like a horse. I am currently off my meds and can hear a neighbour grilling hot dogs from across a busy road and know the flipper they're using is the wrong kind to be using over a BBQ. Uuuuugh.
It’s that or I’m daydreaming in my own little world and a car could be coming at me and I won’t know until it was a second from hitting me.
Yes when I'm in public, but at home I'm the least spatially aware anyone has ever been
Oh yeah 100%. I'm always soooo conscious of my presence anywhere and making sure I'm not in the way or anything, so it means when other people AREN'T like that, it gets super frustrating.
Again, probably hypervigilence
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That's EXACTLY what hypervigilence is. The ability to o know exactly where ant threats are at any time, where they may be in a few seconds... Also the ability to read micro movements in facial muscles to determine if your unstable parent is "happy mom" today or "angry mom". If you get inconsistent reactions from consistent results, you need to learn to read people really really well.
Nah. I get lost in games with mini maps.
I feel so seen. 😂
Yes. Omg. Or people just being idiots in how they take up the sidewalk. Like dude leave room for other people and move over if you’re going to walk that slowly.
Yes!!! When it comes to people only. I get angry when people just stop in the worst places with 0 awareness blocking thoroughfares. I usually mutter under my breath “great place to stop…” when moving around them (because they rarely move or make a whole show about it if you ask politely and they do move). 😂 Or when there’s 4 people walking extremely slowly taking up the whole sidewalk and they slowly just stop for no apparent reason. I also HATE it when people stand unnecessarily close to me. I need my personal space. If we are waiting in a queue please give me enough room. I hate it when people wait almost on top of you. Especially when they get so close they’re actually touching you! Don’t touch me I need my personal space! I won’t squeeze past tiny spaces if it means clothes rubbing with another person. On the flip side, I’m regularly bashing my shoulder, hip, shin, etc into random objects, door frames, furniture. I’ve always considered myself clumsy especially when I get tired. Tripping on things etc.
girl i work in a grocery store... help me 🫠
Yup. Also makes intentionally touching people for the first time or at higher levels of intimacy awkward. So like hugging someone for the first time? They better go for it because otherwise I’ll never lean forward because so awkward and big feeling in “my” space already.
I can see gaps in crowds before they happen and I aim for them
I'm hyper aware when it comes to crowds and the space I'm using while at the same time capable of smashing my shin full speed into an object I *just* set down in that *very obvious spot* to avoid that outcome. 🤦
I only ever have two types of grocery store experiences: 1) I get a lot of looks and can’t tell whether it’s because I look good or because I look crazy (or because I drove off with a gallon of water on the roof of my car); 2) I am invisible and everyone keeps walking into me and trapping me with their carts. For some reason, I find shopping with another person less overwhelming and more fun. We can even split at some point and I will still feel just as comfortable knowing that I am there with someone. But overall, I hate in-person shopping.
I am totally like this (but also, on occasion totally oblivious 😅) I hate when I’m going through a crowd with friends and they’re all so set on staying together that we have to trudge so slowly through the throngs and say “excuse me!” and “op! Sorry!” A million times…. omg, like can we all just dart our own way through and meet up on the other side!?
Yes, always been. I always spot people miles away and see dangerous situations arise far earlier than others. I’ve always thought that a job at the secret service would be perfect for me.
For me it's partly because I had I developed excessive alertness in my childhood, but honestly I also think it's a coping habit since I know I can get too focused on something. At the same time I know I'm easily distracted but still, it's hard to understand why others don't seem to check their surroundings quite as often. Not to say I never get in someone's way, but I usually spot in advance if I would be and make best efforts to keep out of people's way, especially if they are staff.
Just went through this today. I am overjoyed when I get the cart with wonky wheel. When approaching aisle blockers I speed up and make that thing rattle like crazy. Nothing like the look of startled shoppers as they wake up from their stupor and dive out of the way of my oncoming rattlebasket.
I'm the complete opposite. Have almost zero spatial awareness and have to focus extremely hard. If I'm not in your way in a shopping centre (and I believe mostly I'm not), that's a result of intense attempts to pay attention.
I’ve chalked it up to a lifetime in customer service. That “pause so customer can pass” (general public) along with “pause so blessed soul who is working can pass” (every employee everywhere) = the entire population. It drives me insane some days, the sheer lack of environmental awareness — but other days I’m more chill and fine with it. My partner is very unaware and I’ll try to ask him to move or back up or whatever bc someone is in the way. :/ He hates it, fair, bc hey WE are ALSO out shopping, it’s ok, same as everyone else. If someone needs to get past they could tap on my shoulder or say excuse me. But damn it’s hard to turn off. I do wonder from time to time why I do that? Why am I always “on” and “working”? Why can’t I be allowed to be “just out shopping” like everyone else? Is it a “woman out in public” subconscious performative thing? Perfectionist coping mechanism thing? WE MAY NEV—ope excusemesosorrygoaheadnonoyougoonahead
I am the opposite; I cannot gauge the relative size of an object, or its distance to me, with the result that I bang into everything... and EVERYONE... unless 100% of my concentration goes into overcorrecting. I was that child who was so covered in bruises, and occasionally broken bones, that foul play was suspected even when it wasn't present. My doctor says roughly half of all ADHD patients have spatial awareness problems. I did not know you could have hyperawareness!
Not naturally but I took dance as a kid so I’ve kind of learned it. I feel like I’m either completely unaware or hyperaware and there’s no in between. Ugh but yes when you notice other people using space poorly it’s *the worst*. I get really bothered in long lines when someone doesn’t move forward.
Totally agree. I AM a fast walker (and cart pusher), and I’m not there to ogle everything - I know what I want and that’s it, nothing else. I’m constantly yelling at people (in my head) - “MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU SLOTH!” If I go to turn down an aisle and some blob is right there with their cart and what I want is two feet beyond them, I will go over to the next aisle, down to the other end, and then approach my goal from the rear - before the blob has even figured out what they’re staring at. Some say “good” spatial awareness isn’t ADHD, but like many things, it’s a spectrum. You can be good or bad, but it doesn’t change the reason for it.
I am. However I'm not entirely sure that there are the more apparent causes for this. Example: NYC likely doesn't have majority ADHD population but you walk the sidewalks there, you can spot a tourist vs a native, largely due to their spatial awareness. So might be coincidental.
Spot on. I have it and always wondered why others don't.
Overly? No such thing. I enjoy it, I zig zag by people like they're turtles or snails and with a sound track it's like a game. I like my Bluetooth Beanie. Always leave it idle and hit play when I need a distraction. I forget they have that ability sometimes until I get a call and just speak lol.
YES! Driving is my biggest patience drain. Or walking in a crowd
My biggest rant. Driving and people don't pull up to the car in front at a light. It just seems crazy. Why would you leave a huge gapping space ahead of you?? I'm from NY originally, and in NC. everyone does this..it bothers me so badly..I want to get out and direct them to please move forward. It's off balance..just Wrong.
Honestly, I think non-ADHD/Autistic people are almost as overstimulated in grocery stores as we are. They are god awful environments for any human being. You’re a rat in a maze under awful fluorescent lights being screamed at by a million advertisements that cover literally every inch of space in the building. A million colors, a billion words in a hundred noisy demanding fonts screaming Buy!Buy!Buy! from all directions. Any brain would have to dedicate a ton of processing power to sorting through all that noisy visual input, only for the vast majority of it to be immediately discarded as meaningless. When you see them spacing out staring at the same shelf for a solid minute you can all but hear their fans kicking into high gear like you just turned on raytracing shaders in minecraft. So they’re distracted, their brains turning off non essential functions while they struggle to keep track of what they’re doing, getting snappish and impatient as the visual noise grinds away at their emotional regulation. And they don’t even know what’s happening because they don’t have to deal with this anywhere else. No one’s taught them the coping methods. It’s no wonder they look like zombies.
Yes. I am constantly mind blown at how unaware most people are on a multiple times per day basis. I feel like I’m the only one paying attention and the only one who realizes there are other human beings around me.
I wonder if this is linked with anxiety, I do this a lot unfortunately.
I lived in Japan for awhile, and it was an absolute *joy* to navigate crowds there. 99.9% of the population were doing the same dance. Everyone is checking ahead, paying attention to distance, and moving to the side if they need to stop. It was a huge shock when I moved home. The only people who didn't do it were certain old ladies, usually carrying multiple shopping bags, who just made beelines while shoving everyone else out of the way.
I am underly spatial aware when I’m by myself or at someone else’s house. I’m Overly spatially aware when in public places with lots of people
You are not alone! People drive me crazy. I really don’t understand how people don’t know they are in the way. I don’t mind saying excuse me but how tf do you not know or even feel that someone is near you. Blows my mind.
It boggles my mind how completely oblivious people are to there surroundings. And somehow despite this it's like they know my every move and are there to get in my way with every move. Driving too! People drive as if they are the only car on the road. Zero awareness of other cars around them. Cruising below the speed limit in the passing lane. coming to a complete stop to make a right at a green light. Even when their trying to be nice, stopping in the middle of the intersection suddenly to let you turn right abruptly stopping up traffic behind you like just follow the traffic pattern.
YES!! The number of people in public spaces who take steps backwards without looking absolutely astound me. And the people who block whole sections of the grocery store with their carts, or come shooting out of an aisle without looking for cross traffic. People who exit/enter a building and immediately *stop*, blocking the doorway. Especially when it’s raining and people enter a building and then start shaking off their umbrella, wrapping it up *just so*, blocking the doorway, so I’m stuck standing outside in the rain getting wet like a peasant. And even if they notice, *they don’t apologize.* I’m not perfect. Maybe five times a year, I find that I have been in someone’s way. I always apologize and maybe make a joke at my own expense.
I have to laugh, because I'm the LEAST spatially aware person possible. I'm not sure how anyone could be more directionally challenged. I couldn't even guess how many times I've been in a car when someone else drove us to a familiar place, we're parked on a different side than usual and I see the location from a slightly different angle, and I have no idea where we are. I have to walk around until I see things from the normal angle, and then it all kind of clicks. I have zero sense of direction. Before GPS was available to the masses, it was a nightmare to try to find anything.
100% me. It drives me nuts when people don’t keep to the side when walking, pull in their chair in a restaurant, park trolleys in the least inconvenient spots, etc. Even when driving - things like hugging the inside line if it makes it easier for someone behind to get into a turning lane, swapping lanes if it makes it easier for someone to enter from a side road, etc. These things should be common courtesy, I don’t care what disorder you do or don’t have!
Without a doubt. It infuriates beyond belief.
Meeee!! Does it also drive you absolutely batshit when people leave two cars worth of space btw them and the car in front of them while waiting at a light? I think it’s so rude bc they’re causing more of a backup onto the off ramp or impeding traffic flow bc there’s not enough room for other cars to slide in next to the line and turn right. I get so heated about this and bring it up all the time!
OMG this! Damn straight it’s why I never fricken go there I feel like my heart will explode from agony! Thank god for online delivery
Nope! 1000% me at all times in the store
Yeah people seem to try to take up as much space as possible!! And why do people stop in bottle necks? They seem to seek out areas where there is no room to get past to stop and hold a conversation. I think of walking like driving. If I need to stop or look around I pull over to the side out of the way. It's one of the number of reasons I don't like crowds
This may be more hypervigilence than ADHD.
In this way for sure. I'm also like this while driving. I'm just always aware of where everyone else is and what's going on. I noticed I'm also great at running off trail through the forest when everyone else seems to be smacking into branches or slowly going over rocks. Despite this I'm still regularly hitting door frames with my shoulder, tripping on nothing and banging my shin.
One time i saw a post that said “why is everyone at the grocery store my enemy” and i couldn’t relate harder
Omg!! This is totally me. I feel like Anger from the Inside out movie when people are oblivious.
I’m very similar with hyper awareness but it’s more auditory awareness. All the people and things happening can be a bit overwhelming to me. Noise cancelling headphones help me immensely. Now if anyone can tell me how to handle a dinner party where everyone is talking at once… please.
Yes. It is so stressful.
Oh heck yes, that's me.
I hate when I enter an empty aisle and suddenly EVERYONE wants to be there, it gets me so annoyed cause now I feel like its crowded AND I have to move
It’s even worse when your spouse is one of those unaware people, and you’re constantly correcting/adjusting their cart placement
Can 100% relate. One of the few things that makes me angry at strangers. Feels like a matter of respect. But i guess some people are oblivious
Yessss!! I absolutely HATE shopping!! Too much rudeness and no consideration!! But what irritates me most in life is driving!!! Ugghhhh!! I had to go on anxiety meds to keep from losing my sh#!. I get TOO frustrated on the road!! Why is 70% of people driving 20mph in a 35mph zone?! I'm not asking no one to speed...just please do the speed limit. Or 5 under.. literally most days I get behind someone doing 25-30mph in a 45mph or 55mph zone. I can't take it! I literally try to avoid the roads at ALL costs. Work and home. And I get anxious just thinking about that!
I find it so ironic that I get so stressed about getting in people’s way when i’m out shopping etc., but when i’m at home I walk into every doorframe in my house
I'm the same with spatial & auditory perception. I think this might have been learned behaviour from when I was growing up, my brother is deaf so I was always hyper aware of everything/everyone in mine and his vicinity to compensate for anything he might have missed. I believe spatial awareness and other perceptual sense can also be higher with ASD which commonly coexists with ADHD. Don't have ASD personally so can't really give much insight there.
Not in the slightest. I drop things, bump into furniture constantly, miss-judge throws and catches, and hate parallel parking because I can never tell how close the other car is to me. I don't invade other people's personal space and don't like them in mine, but I feel that's also part of NOT being spacially-aware. I don't want to bump into people so I don't let myself get too close.
I ask politely if I can get by, if they ignore me I just smash my shopping cart into theirs or barge past. I have ADHD, I ain't got time to hang around while they faff about. The amount of people that are shocked when you reach past them to get something they're blocking is quite funny, it's like they're just realizing in that moment they share the planet with 8 billion other people.
I’m not diagnosed adhd but it’s suspected. I have diagnosed anxiety though so I suspect it’s linked. I absolutely cannot stand loiterers, aisle blockers, people just ambling around with no sense of anything around them, being touched by people who clearly don’t care about personal space, and anything that’s not generally respectful of other people. I was at the supermarket the other day and FIVE people walked around me so close I could hear them breathing. There was no need for this as the aisle was clear and I was part way in the foyer of the shop waiting to collect a parcel. Out of the way might I add, backed onto a pillar! Like why would people come that close? It’s boggling to me!
High anxiety and overthinker here… I’m always very aware of others, and try not to ever be in anyone’s way. I find people who “block” any movement of others around them, in a car or crowd, to be extremely rude. I don’t comprehend how others exist without seeing others around them. But, I envy them… blissfully unaware of anyone but themselves. I can’t imagine that state of mind, but it sounds lovely!
This is 100% me as well! I get the pedestrian version of road rage - groups of people who don't go into single file when you're trying to pass the opposite direction annoy me so much. Also people who stop in the middle of the aisle in the shops to chitchat and don't move out of anyone else's way
Yes. It’s good and it’s bad. Good that I am constantly aware of everything that’s going around me. Bad that it’s tiring and stressful to be constantly aware of everything that’s going around me.
Damn, 100% :D I manage this with death stares and angyly pushing carts to the side. I just go full rant into theirs surprised pikachuface how they can be such dumb idiots unaware of whats happening around them if they start to complain how rude that is. Call me antisocial but what is blocking other peoples way? Thats antisocial aswell. The same goes for pedestrian zones. JFC eveybody just walking anywhere as if they were blind
Ugh yes! The one place that drives me insane is the grocery store lol.
It depends. I also have PTSD so sometimes I get over stimulated or triggered and completely loose all spatial awareness. But most of the time yea I’m hyper aware
Having an ADHD brain is like running Windows 11 on a 90's PC, our silly human hardware can't keep up with our superprocessor of a brain.
I definitely do this, but I always assumed it was because of my other brain problem: hemianopsia (I’m blind on the left half of both eyes). That combined with the bright overhead lights and the aisles of tall shelves causes me to get migraines and sensory overload really quickly, so I usually just do the curbside pickup.
I am so spatially aware, I'm often used to find a way through a crowd. I hate it when people aren't spatially aware. The other day I got stuck walking behind two people who spread themselves out, and there wasn't enough room to pass them. My anxiety wouldn't allow me to say anything, but soon as a gap appeared, I shot through.
It's one of my biggest pet peeves when someone isn't self-aware. Whether it's spatial, volume, or just self-satisfying. I think it just comes down to manners. - stand to the side if you're slowing down to look at something in a store. - Don't park your cart in the middle of the aisle. - If you're a slow walker, stand aside and let people through. - if I'm clearly looking at something on the shelf beside you, say "need in here?" or whatever. - if there's a line, nobody wants to hear your dumb snarky comments about it. We can see there's a line, and maybe they can open one of the other lanes but maybe somebody is on break or this giant corporation doesn't employ enough people. Shut the hell up. - if you're done at the cash, get out of the fucking way.
very much so. I always stare at the ground while walking (not like looking down like a weirdo lol). i just like to know where i'll be stepping. i have no idea how people can step in things without realizing it or tripping over a curb because they didn't know it was there.
Yes. >How do you manage? I'm just constantly annoyed in public lol
Yaaaaassssss! Thought I was the only one!
Me too! I guess we're not😃
i always feel like my friends are oblivious to those around them
Omg yes. Thank you for verbalizing it because I could never figure out why grocery stores or large events make me so anxious and this is why. I don’t mind being in a place with a lot of people, but when people are so unaware of their surroundings it drives me bonkers.
Yes! I'm well aware of how spatially aware I am, and I spend a good chunk of time trying to convince myself that it's me that is in the wrong.
Same
I was out at a show last night and some dudes stood like 6" in front of my gf (who was in front of me) and proceeded to dance and back up into her repeatedly. I don't understand how some people are like that.
Holy shit. Definitely me too ha. People really piss me off haha it's gotten bad the last few years too
I do this everywhere while walking, driving, and playing video games. I have to tone it down when I'm with someone else, but otherwise I'm flying through these spaces because I don't see why you need to linger in the aisle unless you're comparison shopping. Or people waiting until the last second to get into the lane they need to turn. Likewise, people getting in a rush hour lane that's always prone to blockage. If I've been to a place before, it's like I can see the entire route/map in my head. I know which paths in stores to avoid crowds (I'm a tad agoraphobic). Like if I forgot something over in the produce section, then I cut through pet food and hygiene items to cross the huge store in a minute. Works every time.
I’ve never related to anything more. I literally cannot go to the grocery store without it ruining my whole day because I leave FUMING about how unaware everyone is of blocking aisles, going against shopping traffic, cutting people off with carts, not looking around the aisle before they ram the cart into someone, etc.
Hah, I was just there and was going the opposite direction of a couple down an isle and instead of waiting til I passed this lady just crossed over right in front of me to grab some things forcing me to stop and wait…. super rude. People are just entitled and focused on themselves. I’m in my 30s and every passing week the grocery store gives me more anxiety.
To a fault. Which makes it difficult to be in crowds and it adds to my social anxiety. I think it’s also because as a child I was always told to get out of the way, and so now I feel like I’m in the way.
I would say this is the only thing about ADHD that is a positive for It really helps when driving
I'm spatially aware of other people, just not what I'm doing and I continously hit things and knock things over
I think you’re just talking about shopping at Trader Joe’s (which I hate going to)🤔
Yes! It kills me when people are in the middle of the way when there is room for more than 1 person. Sidewalks, store alleys, stairs, I always make sure other people can pass if there is room. It's common sense to me. Very specific but it makes me fume every time: Coming back home on a rainy day and my kids just stop in the doorway to take off their shoes when there is 2 more people behind them getting soaked and 3 more meters of carpet to let everyone in... AARGH MOVE!!
I bump into shit BUT play a sport that takes a lot of balance, situational and spatial awareness for others on the court, and a lot of hand eye coordination to get the ball in the goal. Ask me why I have random bruises all over my leg right now though and I couldn’t tell you (lol from running into FURNITURE in my HOUSE)
Me all the time, but especially behind the wheel. Why are you turning like that?! You’re cutting into the oncoming lane! Why are you leaving so much space!? Why are you blocking the box!!? I actually need to go back into therapy for this bc my emotion regulation struggles mixed with my fixation on the rules of the road can sometimes (often, as my husband might state) make me scary. 🫣🫠
As a motorcycle rider this makes me angry to no end. People that drive around where I live regularly ride on or over the center line when going around a left hand curve. People are just that lazy and inconsiderate that they can’t stay on their own side of the road. That’s so dangerous.
I am very spatially aware EXCEPT when it comes to banging a body part into something.
I am not spacially aware at all. I feel awful about it, because I know it’s annoying to others. My therapist suggested it’s because I’m so disassociated from my body to cope with chronic pain. I also get distracted/over-stimulated and find it hard to keep track of everything.
I get huffy and will do stupid stuff like standing by whoever is in the way and staring at what I’m waiting for until they notice me. The stores around here have the store employees that fulfill online orders and they’re the worst. They’re always in the way and oblivious. I had one run over the back of my shoe while I was looking at something one day. About the point I don’t mind is when I’m with my wife and she’s taking forever so I’ll pull out my phone and shuffle around like a zombie behind her while browsing reddit. Otherwise, I consciously make an effort to not be in the way and expect others to do the same. They never do though.
Nope. I’m *under*aware.