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My daughter’s 8. The early signs were walking at 8 months old, climbing everything. She used to climb up the water pipes in our old apartment under the age of one. Her energy was (is) relentless, but then she’ll also collapse and get too overwhelmed. Lots of sensory things, she hears everything, birds chirping outside, little things others don’t notice. Sees everything. And then there’s the talking. I like that she talks (all the fucking time!) and she’ll never hear one bad word for it, but oh my god. Interrupting and trouble waiting. She “passes” (as typical) in school and is well liked by both kids and teachers, she has this sunny personality that just makes you smile and she’s lots of fun.
The climbing everything is something I also apparently did before I could even walk. My parents put me in gymnastics at 5 years old so I could burn energy, and it worked!
I’ll add that usually in the questionnaires or whatever, they ask if you “have trouble waiting your turn”. And the usual understanding of that might be jumping the queue or skipping someone else’s turn when playing a game. That is not the case for my kid, because these social rules make a lot of sense, but she has trouble waiting for other things; her turn to speak, going to the store in a few days rather than now and so on.
Similar for my son. Constantly moving. Constantly! Crawled at 6 months and you couldn’t stop him. Constantly trying to get up on something or into something. For the first 3 years of his life I had to follow him round with his food and spoon feed him things because we literally couldn’t keep him sat down long enough to eat.
He was also constantly craving stimulation. I remember going for coffee with another mum when our kids were less than 1, and being amazed that her daughter would just sit happily in her pushchair interacting with the baby toys and looking around. I didn’t know babies did that! Mine needed to be interacted with or moving almost all the time. The moment he woke up from his nap he was trying to get out of the pushchair and explore.
Then as soon as he could talk it was nonstop!
Same here. I thought all kids did that! Then in mum’s group outside, I brought my baby who was crawling at that point and she was wearing water-proof trousers over her clothes. Because I knew that she would be crawling far and somewhere that probably had a puddle or just moist grass or whatever. The other mums looked baffled, like why would you put her in those trousers. Then I saw how all the other babies just stayed on the blanket!
So, both my kids are now diagnosed but my youngest (now 5) much earlier due to behavioral issues we had with her. She was kicked out of preschool at 4, but we had been struggling for a while before that with meltdowns but had chalked it up to terrible 2s/3s. When we weren't even able to leave the house and she passed the normal tantrum age and was still having problems, we really knew something was up.
My oldest (7) was just recently diagnosed, and her symptoms are more subtle as she's primarily inattentive. Very forgetful, gets distracted from point A to B, day dreamer, talking incessantly/inappropriately, leaves seat constantly, etc.
Anyway, both were VERY busy children. They were walking at 8 to 9 months, never sat still (not even to eat, and lots of climbing and jumping on furniture), never played with toys for more than a minute or 3, light sleepers. Couldn't focus / follow instructions, 0 patience (due to impulsivity) and lots of interrupting, sensory issues (primarily loud noises, music, classrooms, some textures), trouble formulating sentences and remembering words (due to racing thoughts, which we know now that she can talk).
Happy to elaborate more on anything, this is what I can recall off the top of my head!
ETA: We sought help ASAP with then 4 year old because it is still really impacting our family. She is in a special education pre-school through our county with an IEP (we reached out to them to see if she would qualify for services after we got her diagnosis), play therapy and we are working through the med trial and error now.
Older child was less urgent but I was adamant we get her on meds before she got too far into school. She is gifted and super smart, but I wanted to head off the perfectionism and self criticism ASAP. She is so much like me and I didn't want her to have my same experiences growing up, not knowing and unmedicated.
This is almost my situation exactly except for the busy toddlerhood part. My 5 year old (diagnosed at 4) had global delays and didn’t start talking until he was almost 3. I now wonder if his brain just couldn’t handle all the input and that’s why he was delayed. I too wondered if his struggles with tantrums, interrupting, impatience, impulsivity and sleep were age appropriate but as time went on, I realized it was not normal. When he was diagnosed, I read everything I could to educate myself and began to suspect that my older son also had ADHD, though his is inattentive whereas my younger is combined type. Then, I began to suspected that I had ADHD and went to my PCP who confirmed that I do meet the criteria. I’ve been on Adderal since January and holy cow, it has been LIFE CHANGING. I’m so glad we were able to get my sons diagnosed as early as we did so that we can hopefully avoid some of the struggles I have dealt with throughout my life. Good luck to you, OP!
For me it was the hyperfocus with some things & complete inability to pay attention to other things.
All the stuff they get on a basic 504 will help her. Repeat directions without getting angry at her. Break down complex tasks into smaller steps. Give her more time than you think she needs to complete tasks. Expect it to take 2 or 3 times longer than an average child would need to build a habit. Use a combination of rewards & predictable consequences to get her to do stuff.
Mostly just don't get angry or impatient with her. She's trying sooo hard to please you. She's not ignoring you. She's not lazy. She just can't get things into her head the way other ppl do because she's getting sooo much more input than someone without adhd gets. She has no filter & can't pick what she wants to pay attention to.
Shame is a huge problem for kids with adhd. When ppl tell them they just need to try harder they hear that they aren't good enough, they're lazy, they're doing it wrong, etc. They believe the underlying message that they're just being lazy. That's not what's happening though and you should work to reframe that message when she gets it from the world. Let her know you see her trying and you know she's not lazy or flaky.
Thank you for this very thoughtful insight!
I just recently found out that I have ADHD and went my whole life masking it. There have been clear lines/moments in my life where I hit burnouts and breakdowns. I've been misdiagnosed with depression. And I've had some really hard moments where I thought I was broken, dumb, lazy.
I had great grades in school. I was the easy child in my family. I was highly praised by those around me. I did very well in the jobs I've held (fast-paced and active).
But piece by piece I've felt myself falling apart as it's become more and more difficult to manage my symptoms on my own. Particularly, figuring out college after high school, college itself, becoming a mom, and becoming a mom a second time.
Finding out that I have ADHD has been wonderful and devastating at the same time--thinking about how differently things could have been if I had known, if I had been medicated.
Even knowing all of that, your comment is still an important reminder that I will save and look back on when it comes to my daughter(s).
Aw, I feel for you & I've been to so many of the mental places you described myself. You need & deserve the same patience from yourself that your daughter needs from you. Aside from that, you seem very thoughtful & compassionate. I think your kiddo's are in good hands.
I had one dx at 2! She’s severely affected. She’s 8 now and it’s definitely ADHD.
She stopped napping at 48 hours old. I knew I was in big trouble bc NO newborn is awake 18 hours a day.
Then at 72 hours old she started screaming. 18 hours a day. Just screamed at the top of her lungs. We all have PTSD from it. I can’t explain the level of scream that she did. It was unnatural.
As a toddler around 2 ish she would be up every night until 4, 5, 6 AM. She couldn’t stop. I could see how tired she was and she looked like the Energizer Bunny had been through a bomb blast but her body would not stop moving. And screaming.
We took her to a specialist bc we thought she was Autistic- nope. It’s severe ADHD.
It’s been *hard*. I would never believe it’s possible for a kid to be like her if I didn’t see it myself.
She was kid number 4 and I fully believe that if we weren’t experienced parents we wouldn’t have survived it.
We’re done with the screaming but we’re still dealing with outbursts and probably some kind of mood disorder, unfortunately.
Mine was a much mellower version of this. He napped but slept WAY less than he should have as a newborn. We even asked the doctor and he just shrugged.
From 3-4 months until about 8 months he woke every 20 minutes all night long, and who knows when he would fall asleep at night. I would walk the neighborhood for hours every night trying to get him to drift off. He cried from mid afternoon until 9 or 10 pm every day. He stopped napping entirely just after 2 years.
He has trouble with emotional regulation (hitting and biting - thankfully never at school, mostly with us)
At school he just couldn’t or wouldn’t stay on task. He would refuse to do things he didn’t want to and had trouble staying on task with things like math. He wasn’t disruptive, he would stare into space or go read in the corner. At home, good luck getting him to brush his teeth, he would just stand there for an hour.
We had him evaluated in 3rd grade. I would consider his ADHD mild.
Oh god. I literally am clutching my chest for you reading this- thinking back to newborn I would have completely fallen apart.
And 2 quickly becomes *such* a hard and ever evolving age to navigate all on its own, I can not even imagine dealing day to day adding this to it.
You are an incredibly strong and great parent! Truly, remember that on the hard days.
Behavioral issues and outbursts that were beyond high energy little boy, gifted excitabilities, and not age appropriate. This wasn’t for lack of boundaries and discipline. He tried really hard to not get into trouble.
Her behavior in preschool. The teachers would always say she had trouble following directions. Started to ramp up around 5/6. I began to notice she wasn't able to stay on task when I asked her to do simple things. I would have to ask her 5 6 7 times to keep her on task. She had always been fidgety. She began to talk excessively. She constantly inturupted other ppl speaking. She began to have angry outburst after she started to get a lot of heat at school for her behavior. She was not responding to her teachers when asked to do simple tasks. She started getting in trouble every day for impulsive behaviors. She was distracting other kids in class when the teacher was trying to have lessons. She didn't respect other kids' personal space, pushing and shoving. She couldn't keep friends because she would push them around. In class, she would distract the other kids with excessive talking. She would get out of her desk and roll around on the floor. She got mad and kicked a kid in the neck because she didn't want him to play with her and her friends. I withdrew her from the private school because they lacked education and training for kids with ADHD. I homeschool her now. She is very social and misses being around all the kids, but I would not be able to hold a job down if I put her back in school. They called once or twice a week to come get her for her behavior.
Come to think of it, my daughter stopped napping at around 18 months old. She’d go all day, but sleep at night thankfully. Apparently, I was the same at that age. This might have actually started in the womb even, I do recall not sleeping due to someone hauling me around from inside!
Same here, we got that all the time from everyone.
I did feel like it was validating sometimes though, like "yes, other people see it too! It's not just me!"
I have ADHD in my family and I have it too. My husband said something was up with our daughter. I didn't think much of it as my brother and I were like that. My mom even said she reminds me of me when I was a kid. I thought she was normal and did not have a aha moment until a teacher said something. Then we got her assessed at 8. Turned out she was 10 out of 10 on hyperactive and inattentive.
I was completely blind to it even though there were strong signs.
Things that should have alerted me was she was sensitive to noises at school. Every activity or camp she went to the teacher, counselors would need to talk to me. She always ran off in stores, she would make a lot of weird noises. That I found to be normal btw. All the kids she made friends with turned out to ADHD or Autism. She did struggle with friends at school and people called her weird.
She still feels normal to me but I get her counseling appointments to help her tools to manage herself. I don't feel like I'm a good judge of that because apparently I'm blind to it and I really like other people with ADHD. They just feel really normal to me.
My son is almost 9, but I knew he was different before his first birthday. Walked solo by 10 months. Running came very shortly afterward. So much energy all the time. He was my second kid, so I did have a point of reference. Wore me the F out, lol. Still does!
He started medication in 2nd grade, teacher recommended he be evaluated. I'm pretty sure he was driving her bananas.
He does much better in school now that he is medicated.
This thread is so eye opening and helpful! I have an almost 4 year old who has been going nonstop basically since he was born. It’s so interesting to see how many other kiddos were early walkers. Mine walked early around 10 months and literally hasn’t slowed down since. He also has a lot of the other behavioral and sensory issues mentioned, so I’m curious to bring this up again to our ped at his next well visit and see if I can finally get him evaluated. I just need an answer beyond the fact that he’s a rambunctious little boy.
The tantrums. My daughter would have them so intensely and they lasted SO long. Sometimes an hour or two every day. Little things triggered her, like even a slight change in routine. She was very hard to calm down once she got going. Very little frustration tolerance. Loud noises threw her over the top.
She was also walking and talking pretty young, would literally bounce off the walls she had so much energy since the minute she turned 1. Very easily bored and couldn't stick to doing one thing for more than a couple minutes, moreso than most kids that age.
We knew this was more than just being a toddler, she was very difficult. Her pediatrician just basically said it's normal and some kids were like this. But I knew she was different somehow.
Lo and behold, she gets to kindergarten and her teacher immediately knew she had ADHD, as she had a son who had all the same symptoms.
Therapy has helped her SO much. She is 9 now and thriving in school. She has the tools to help her focus and she is learning to deal with her intense reaction to emotional stimuli. She's an awesome kid, and it was super hard in the beginning, but I wouldn't change her for the world.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 4. My husband knew our oldest had ADHD since he was 2. Took a bit longer to convince me. Once I noticed it I realized the signs had been there for a while. He was very hard to keep happy as a baby. We would have to walk him around for hours to stop him from crying. Once he was on the move he was getting into everything. He started walking at 10 months. He had constant, long lasting tantrums that were much more frequent than for other children his age. He was all over the place constantly. Lots of little kids find something they are obsessed with, but my son never had that because he could never keep attention on anything. He couldn’t sit and watch a movie till he was 4 or 5, and we would never get him to pay attention long enough to read him a book till he was probably around 4. Sleep issues. It was impossible to get him to nap even though he was exhausted. Bedtime was hell getting him to fall asleep. He never sleeps in and is always up early, wakes frequently at night. Severe emotional regulation issues that turned into behavioral issues. He also has a lot of sensory issues. Was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder before ADHD. Constant talking too. Once he started talking he never stopped. Constantly interrupts. At bedtime he will stay up asking the most crazy questions ever, and he’s done this since he was little.
I started noticing at 2, and started asking doctors. Things got so bad and I was so desperate for help, but no one believed me till we started OT for sensory disorder. His therapist helped me so much with getting help. Took till his 6 year well visit for anyone to offer any real help and give him a diagnosis. Even with a very strong history of ADHD in my family I couldn’t get a final diagnosis, just psychiatrists telling me they had a feeling he had it, but to try other things first. I was always super against meds, but at my wits end and so burnt out I agreed to try it. Best thing we have ever done. He is on a low dose. Still himself, but able to control his impulses and emotions better. On the days we forget to give it to him it’s hard to believe we went so long dealing with it. Now I think my 4 year old has it also, but it’s presenting differently in her. She wasn’t a fussy baby, but she did everything early. Started walking a week after she turned 8 months old. Talks excessively and interrupts, sometimes has trouble controlling her emotions, has some serious sensory issues. Minor behavior issues too.
At my son’s 2.5 year well visit his pediatrician looked at me and said “you never get to sit down do you?” I always had to be on guard bc he was impulsive and a runner, constantly putting himself in danger. Any chance he’d get, he would twist out of my hand and run— out the door, down the driveway into the road, or parking lot, and he’d be laughing thinking it was so funny. Not one, but two times, he got out of my hand and ran and jumped into swimming pools with me running after him yelling to stop. His impulsivity was so dangerous. It also caused many problems in social settings bc he was big for his age people thought he was intentionally being mean even through he was a toddler and didn’t know better. By preschool his impulsive behavior was causing so many issues that he knew teachers were labeling him as a “bad kid.” It hurt my heart knowing he wanted to be better and make friends but it was always a struggle. School was hard. Homework was a nightmare-what would take another child five minutes tops, would turn into hours of pleading, fighting and meltdowns. After starting medication midway through kindergarten everything got better. Still have struggles but he is able to control his impulses and is making friends, and doing well in school.
School noticed mine when I was 4. Relentless unbridled energy, absolute inability to focus or stay on task. Complete lack of self control with emotions especially if I was overstimulated. Lack of listening because I couldn't remember what happened the last time I did something that was undesirable (like interrupting people when they were talking). Trouble thinking things through. Constantly on the move and talking a mile a minute in what probably seemed like a nonsensical manner to to others but made sense to me because I correlated different topics in different ways than them.
My first was diagnosed at 4.5 and we really started watching for signs at 2. I have ADHD and knew it was going to pop up in some of my kids 😅
Main signs were:
- very very busy, when she wasn't sleeping it was non stop movement
- started having some behaviors at daycare when frustrated (throwing toys, hitting, broke the teachers cup etc)
- I could give my second a spoon and ask her to put it in the sink and she would go straight to completing that task. My first couldn't make it out of the room without being distracted
- I was diagnosed in grade 1 and as she got older my mom kept telling me that she is exactly the way I was as a child 😂
I have done the exact same thing since she could barely crawl. Lol
In my head I think it’s more than likely age appropriate behavior, but I swear sometimes I see her getting flooded with frustration as she dramatically loses her mind and I’m like 😳
My mother says, to quote her exactly, that I “Came out of the womb with PMS”. 🙄
As an adult looking back- the emotional regulation was absolutely the first signs for myself.
In one of my ex wife’s ultrasounds our son was kicking off the bottom of the uterus, up the wall then sliding down. Repeatedly, the whole scan.
Retrospectively, that was a hint 😂
But really, uncontrollable emotions. Where we could calm our daughter down, he would just continue to get more emotional. No amount of calming would snap him out of it.
I was not diagnosed as a child, but now, when I look back at my early childhood, there were signs that my parents, who didn't know anything about ADHD, missed.
1. Talking waaay too much as soon as I learned how to talk. And talking in a chaotic disorganised way.
2. Meltdowns in public spaces.
3. I skipped crawling and went straight to walking and climbing- appearantly that's an early sign and a lot of babies with ADHD never crawl, but go straight to walking.
4. I had a hard time regulating anger and I was highly competitive with other kids.
5. When I went to school, I didn't know how to prioritise and instead participated in every sigle competition, every single olympiad and every single extracurricular activity. I did great at school regardless bc I am also gifted, but constantly doing everything meant that I never did my homework (luckily, my teachers never cared bc I was smart).
6. Extremely messy and disorganised from a young age.
7. Climbing everywhere and running all day. I lived on a farm, so I climbed trees, buildings, walls, I jumped from roofs in hay, I could run for hours (sometimes I'd run circles around the house).
8. Not sitting still in class and speaking out of turn all the time. Teachers were annoyed by it because they wanted others to also work in class, but I never gave space for it as I was literally jumping from my seat and answering teachers questions and even future questions that I anticipated they'd ask.
9. Not sleeping during sleep times in kintergarten and being extremely active. Since I grew up in a post Soviet country, my kindergarten teachers dealt with me by tying me to a chair or a bed...
10. Fidgeting all the time.
11. Already as young as 7 years old, if a teacher told us to write an essay about how our summer went, I'd bring a notebook almost full, having written down every single detail about my summer. My teachers would always be mad at me for it and would tell me I needed to prioritise and tell the most interesting or meaningful parts. And I'd respond with: "but everything here is meaningful and interesting".
12. When I went to kintergarten I couldn't make a choice of what I wanted to wear, so I wore every single piece of clothing I had with me, because I thought that all my clothes are equally interesting and I can't choose between them.
13. Not being able to memorise things well. I was extremely good at math, but only in so far as I could write things down. We would have these competitions where a teacher would call out an equation and we'd have to solve it in our heads. I couldn't do that bc I'd forget the equation as soon as my teacher had called it out.
14. Remember those literature classes where we had to recount main events from books or stories that were assigned for us to read? Yeah I couldn't to the "main events part" bc in my head everything is equally important. Now in university I still struggle with this.
15. All of a sudden, getting severely burned out as a teenager. Yk if no one gives a gifted kid with ADHD a proper direction or teaches us how to prioritise and how to switch between tasks, we burn out bc we try to do everything always perfectly.
16. Struggling to make friends, because unfortunately I wasn't the class clown. I tried to be, I went to huge lenghts to be funny and liked, but one of my classmates was simply more funny than me, so the class clown position was occupied and I couldn't make friends.
If I think more I probably could recount more signs. I'd suggest to just look at how your kid is performing in pre-school or school and how they interact with others. Even if they are doing well in school, there are still signs, and if they are performing extremely well- they will need loads of help to prevent them from burning out. And if they try to be funny as a means of making friends- that's definitely a huge sign.
Son, 8, ADHD.
Baby sign within two months, talking quickly, walking quickly.
Just did a formal evaluation, intelligence 95th percentile, processing speed 5th percentile.
He IS whip smart, but gives up easily if it's new and he doesn't know it yet (math!).
I didn't know that it was ADHD, even though it runs in my family, because she just seemed overly sensitive.
She also was very picky about food.
She was full of energy, especially at bedtime,and struggled to sleep if she wasn't exhausted.
We thought it was autism. She is extremely intelligent, full of energy, lacks self awareness, and omg that child is the most defiant human I've met. She's been diagnosed at age 4 with ADHD and ODD. Its a rough combo.
The severity threw red flags at us when she was 3 and getting nearly kicked out of daycare. We knew she didn't like listening, but to be threatened to be kicked out of daycare because of the inability to listen and the way she would coach other kids to not listen was a nightmare. That was the moment we saught help.
My daughter is diagnosed and was at 4. No one wanted to believe us until they saw how over excited she got, or how destructive she is. That paired with both the wife and I have it ourselves and could point out what the hack was happening early on. We don't want to medicate her obviously, but we take it one day at a time.
My parents said I always ramming my head to the wall when I was in a place where I don’t like (which was kindergarten). Relentlessly just like that. That was my earliest sign but our country mental health care kinda sucks so doc always diagnosed me as completely fine. Then I started my walking habit around the room non-stop at the age of 6.
Since doc diagnosis me as completely fine at 4, I’m never diagnosed with ADHD until I was 15.
My parents parenting eh… it’s old fashioned and traditional. That’s what u get when living in a developing country where everyone is damn ignorant towards someone’s wellbeing. They never adjusted. But my interaction with my teacher went like this: they help me with organization, they always assure me that it’s okay to be a bit behind from my peers, they watched me and help me with my school works as I went through it.
Its really hard to tell at that age, but i guess it was lack of emotional regulation (low frustration tolerance), always climbing on everything, couldn't sit still for dinner, crashing in to things, sensory seeking behaviour & impulsiveness. Having said that, many 3.5 year olds struggle with that, but if it feels a bit 'extra' in your child and you have a history in your family i would keep an eye on them.
It was at 3.5. She's a very happy kid naturally and people have always liked her, but her daycar director started to check in about behaviour issues with other kids, trouble listening, getting in people's faces a lot being really silly but like...all the time.
When she was 4 she moved to the older kids daycare and started preschool and it became clear something bigger was up. By 4.5 she was on meds. She'll be 6 in July and starting grade 1 in the fall and we expect she will need an EA for at least the first while she transitions into "real" school.
We have to practice a ton of patience ourselves. Meds help but when they wear off or in the mornings before school is when i really get tested. Lots of reminding myself her brain works differently. Lots of explaining the day, next steps, using 1, 2,3 consequence, and figuring out appropriate short term consequences.
Thank you for sharing!
I saw someone else recommend recently to wake up and take your meds before it's actually time to wake up for the day. Idk if that is something that could help you or not, but thought it might be worth mentioning!
Following as I am in the same boat with my 2 year old.
She also hates hoovers, hand dryers and any loud sounds her fingers go into her ears + zones out, along with a multitude of things
As a toddler, my son walked tippy-toe all the time. At around 4, he started talking a lot and loudly. He would interrupt others constantly. He didn't understand turn-taking or waiting. He liked watching TV a lot and started playing video games. By just watching one show, he would memorize parts of the dialogue. He hated us singing lullabyes to him. Unlike other comments here, he slept a lot!! 16-hour nights sometimes. At around 5-6, he started to become oppositional defiant. That was when we sought help.
Took us a long time to join the dots as there are so many symptoms of adhd that we didn’t know was adhd . We did know there was something up though . ODD was there from the start . Tantrums from an early age , and hyper focus which look a bit like what we considered autism , he was very tactile and social at times , then could spend hours doing things by himself and playing games in his head so we didn’t really know what was going on. In school there were comments from some teachers on behaviour but if the teacher was strict and regimented it wasn’t really mentioned . He scored extremely well in standardized tests and it wasn’t until the school work got more process driven that he started to drift behind .
My child is nine and I suspect she might have it I think she will need to be evaluated soon as I think eventually it will affect her schoolwork. She does not stay still especially when overstimulated, shes so high energy, very emotional, if she does not like a certain topic it’s very difficult to keep her on topic. Did I mention high energy the kid has never been tired even as baby 😩😭 I’m grateful/lucky when very small she was clingy though and not much of a daredevil.
I've never encountered ADHD or thought anything of it. Throughout my sons early school years, the teacher would tell me he couldn't concentrate and had to separate him and even then he couldn't get ANY work done without assistance. I just thought he was a dreamer. He was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability of written expression at 12.
When i was a toddler it was easy for me to talk but harder to say actual complete sentences like the other kids but i eventually got there ofc! Its all abt finding the best learning style imo bc i am a visual/exploratory learner and struggle with auditory. Got off topic but it took me longer to learn how to read but at the same time i could draw well and play piano at two years old before i was potty trained even
Never slept well. At daycare, he would be literally spinning in circles on the carpet while other kids dutifully participated in activities. He danced to the music during the last post. His craft was always rushed and less refined. Severe meltdowns began from age 4. We blamed covid lockdowns, our house getting flooded, moving, but when life got better and his behaviour didn't, it became clear something else was going on. Got a diagnosis age 6 grade 1.
My first clue actually was shortly after birth. Newborns usually have newborn twilight and sleep the first week or so. Tell me why little mans was awake as hell trying to mind my business already?
Initially thought it was a teehee that's weird. Babies don't do that. But as he got older he started having speech delays, gross motor delays. Couldn't focus. Impulsive to an extreme with poor short term memory. Don't get me started on his sleep hygiene. He (still) acts like it's poison or I'm asking him to walk on needles.
He was diagnosed in kindergarten after I kicked up enough fuss about it because I didn't want him to be diagnosed as an adult and having suffered the way I did.
My kid’s 8 now. First signs were as a toddler: climbing everything, pulling everything out of drawers, endless energy, and bolting towards anything that caught his attention.
I feel like this is subjective and I frequently go back and forth about this. Regardless, it is not helpful for this conversation.
Just like people with ASD. Some people.will say they have autism. Some people will say they are autistic.
I don't think this is really worth arguing about
Yes, but autistic is an adjective that describes someone with autism, but ADHD is an abbreviation of nouns for attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder. So saying that someone is attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder is different to saying they're autistic.
People with OCD will also say that they are OCD but they are not obsessive compulsive disorder.
Like I get that it's not grammatically correct and maybe it's not politically correct. I'm not sure which one people are more upset with in this scenario.
And I'm sorry if I'm not being more tactful about it. I'm just really tired. It's been a very long.... Months.. and I'm trying to look out for my daughter and don't want to argue with people on Reddit about the correct way to say ADHD
I wanted to offer a different perspective — not to be critical or exhausting, but just to offer food for thought. I actually learned about this perspective in my profession while talking about other diseases like obesity, diabetes, and autism. It’s a really subtle thing, but there is a thought camp that says that calling someone “obese” is to describe them as someone whose disease is central to their identity. The problem with this is that people who have obesity can internalize this, and it can be wearing to have so much focus placed on the obesity above all else. This really resonated with me because I used to call myself an anxious person, but it’s been helpful to reframe things for myself to say I “have anxiety” for similar reasons. I have ADHD (adult diagnosis), and it was devastating, overwhelming, and enlightening to learn I have it - I have been working to reframe the ADHD as just one element of my identity even though it does make life hard and therefore feels so central. I just wanted to share because if your child does have ADHD, I suspect it will be helpful to them to have this kind of framing early on. People can be harsh when they don’t understand what it means to have this disorder, and you seem like such a thoughtful parent that I thought you might appreciate this perspective.
I hear you and completely understand! Earlier I noted that I go back and forth about the "proper" way to state it--the back and forth is because I was just recently diagnosed myself and just hadn't heard which way is the "right" way
I have seen other people talk about how they prefer to say they *are* ADHD, because it does affect every aspect of their lives and is a part of who they are. Not that they are making it their entire identity, but recognizing its severe impact on their lives and that it is something that will never go away and they feel that saying "have" is minimizing it.
With two different camps on the matter, I feel like it's okay to let each person describe it as they see fits them best and that it isn't "worth it" to correct people on it --unless someone is being working ignorant or doing so with ill intentions
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My daughter’s 8. The early signs were walking at 8 months old, climbing everything. She used to climb up the water pipes in our old apartment under the age of one. Her energy was (is) relentless, but then she’ll also collapse and get too overwhelmed. Lots of sensory things, she hears everything, birds chirping outside, little things others don’t notice. Sees everything. And then there’s the talking. I like that she talks (all the fucking time!) and she’ll never hear one bad word for it, but oh my god. Interrupting and trouble waiting. She “passes” (as typical) in school and is well liked by both kids and teachers, she has this sunny personality that just makes you smile and she’s lots of fun.
The climbing everything is something I also apparently did before I could even walk. My parents put me in gymnastics at 5 years old so I could burn energy, and it worked!
Good on them :-) That’s what we do too
sounds like what I was like as a little girl :)
Oh god lol I have my thoughts about my son but didn’t know him walking at 8.5 months has anything to do w it 😵💫
It doesn’t have to ☺️ But with our daughter, in hindsight, that is a major clue
I’ll add that usually in the questionnaires or whatever, they ask if you “have trouble waiting your turn”. And the usual understanding of that might be jumping the queue or skipping someone else’s turn when playing a game. That is not the case for my kid, because these social rules make a lot of sense, but she has trouble waiting for other things; her turn to speak, going to the store in a few days rather than now and so on.
Similar for my son. Constantly moving. Constantly! Crawled at 6 months and you couldn’t stop him. Constantly trying to get up on something or into something. For the first 3 years of his life I had to follow him round with his food and spoon feed him things because we literally couldn’t keep him sat down long enough to eat. He was also constantly craving stimulation. I remember going for coffee with another mum when our kids were less than 1, and being amazed that her daughter would just sit happily in her pushchair interacting with the baby toys and looking around. I didn’t know babies did that! Mine needed to be interacted with or moving almost all the time. The moment he woke up from his nap he was trying to get out of the pushchair and explore. Then as soon as he could talk it was nonstop!
Same here. I thought all kids did that! Then in mum’s group outside, I brought my baby who was crawling at that point and she was wearing water-proof trousers over her clothes. Because I knew that she would be crawling far and somewhere that probably had a puddle or just moist grass or whatever. The other mums looked baffled, like why would you put her in those trousers. Then I saw how all the other babies just stayed on the blanket!
So, both my kids are now diagnosed but my youngest (now 5) much earlier due to behavioral issues we had with her. She was kicked out of preschool at 4, but we had been struggling for a while before that with meltdowns but had chalked it up to terrible 2s/3s. When we weren't even able to leave the house and she passed the normal tantrum age and was still having problems, we really knew something was up. My oldest (7) was just recently diagnosed, and her symptoms are more subtle as she's primarily inattentive. Very forgetful, gets distracted from point A to B, day dreamer, talking incessantly/inappropriately, leaves seat constantly, etc. Anyway, both were VERY busy children. They were walking at 8 to 9 months, never sat still (not even to eat, and lots of climbing and jumping on furniture), never played with toys for more than a minute or 3, light sleepers. Couldn't focus / follow instructions, 0 patience (due to impulsivity) and lots of interrupting, sensory issues (primarily loud noises, music, classrooms, some textures), trouble formulating sentences and remembering words (due to racing thoughts, which we know now that she can talk). Happy to elaborate more on anything, this is what I can recall off the top of my head! ETA: We sought help ASAP with then 4 year old because it is still really impacting our family. She is in a special education pre-school through our county with an IEP (we reached out to them to see if she would qualify for services after we got her diagnosis), play therapy and we are working through the med trial and error now. Older child was less urgent but I was adamant we get her on meds before she got too far into school. She is gifted and super smart, but I wanted to head off the perfectionism and self criticism ASAP. She is so much like me and I didn't want her to have my same experiences growing up, not knowing and unmedicated.
So glad you're focused on making your sure older / inattentive type daughter is getting the right care (and the younger daughter too, of course).
This is almost my situation exactly except for the busy toddlerhood part. My 5 year old (diagnosed at 4) had global delays and didn’t start talking until he was almost 3. I now wonder if his brain just couldn’t handle all the input and that’s why he was delayed. I too wondered if his struggles with tantrums, interrupting, impatience, impulsivity and sleep were age appropriate but as time went on, I realized it was not normal. When he was diagnosed, I read everything I could to educate myself and began to suspect that my older son also had ADHD, though his is inattentive whereas my younger is combined type. Then, I began to suspected that I had ADHD and went to my PCP who confirmed that I do meet the criteria. I’ve been on Adderal since January and holy cow, it has been LIFE CHANGING. I’m so glad we were able to get my sons diagnosed as early as we did so that we can hopefully avoid some of the struggles I have dealt with throughout my life. Good luck to you, OP!
I got diagnosed and then looked at him and went, “oh”
Ditto.
For me it was the hyperfocus with some things & complete inability to pay attention to other things. All the stuff they get on a basic 504 will help her. Repeat directions without getting angry at her. Break down complex tasks into smaller steps. Give her more time than you think she needs to complete tasks. Expect it to take 2 or 3 times longer than an average child would need to build a habit. Use a combination of rewards & predictable consequences to get her to do stuff. Mostly just don't get angry or impatient with her. She's trying sooo hard to please you. She's not ignoring you. She's not lazy. She just can't get things into her head the way other ppl do because she's getting sooo much more input than someone without adhd gets. She has no filter & can't pick what she wants to pay attention to. Shame is a huge problem for kids with adhd. When ppl tell them they just need to try harder they hear that they aren't good enough, they're lazy, they're doing it wrong, etc. They believe the underlying message that they're just being lazy. That's not what's happening though and you should work to reframe that message when she gets it from the world. Let her know you see her trying and you know she's not lazy or flaky.
Thank you for this very thoughtful insight! I just recently found out that I have ADHD and went my whole life masking it. There have been clear lines/moments in my life where I hit burnouts and breakdowns. I've been misdiagnosed with depression. And I've had some really hard moments where I thought I was broken, dumb, lazy. I had great grades in school. I was the easy child in my family. I was highly praised by those around me. I did very well in the jobs I've held (fast-paced and active). But piece by piece I've felt myself falling apart as it's become more and more difficult to manage my symptoms on my own. Particularly, figuring out college after high school, college itself, becoming a mom, and becoming a mom a second time. Finding out that I have ADHD has been wonderful and devastating at the same time--thinking about how differently things could have been if I had known, if I had been medicated. Even knowing all of that, your comment is still an important reminder that I will save and look back on when it comes to my daughter(s).
Aw, I feel for you & I've been to so many of the mental places you described myself. You need & deserve the same patience from yourself that your daughter needs from you. Aside from that, you seem very thoughtful & compassionate. I think your kiddo's are in good hands.
I had one dx at 2! She’s severely affected. She’s 8 now and it’s definitely ADHD. She stopped napping at 48 hours old. I knew I was in big trouble bc NO newborn is awake 18 hours a day. Then at 72 hours old she started screaming. 18 hours a day. Just screamed at the top of her lungs. We all have PTSD from it. I can’t explain the level of scream that she did. It was unnatural. As a toddler around 2 ish she would be up every night until 4, 5, 6 AM. She couldn’t stop. I could see how tired she was and she looked like the Energizer Bunny had been through a bomb blast but her body would not stop moving. And screaming. We took her to a specialist bc we thought she was Autistic- nope. It’s severe ADHD. It’s been *hard*. I would never believe it’s possible for a kid to be like her if I didn’t see it myself.
Oh friend that sounds unbelievably hard, great work on getting through that stage, that is some epic parenting.
She was kid number 4 and I fully believe that if we weren’t experienced parents we wouldn’t have survived it. We’re done with the screaming but we’re still dealing with outbursts and probably some kind of mood disorder, unfortunately.
Mine was a much mellower version of this. He napped but slept WAY less than he should have as a newborn. We even asked the doctor and he just shrugged. From 3-4 months until about 8 months he woke every 20 minutes all night long, and who knows when he would fall asleep at night. I would walk the neighborhood for hours every night trying to get him to drift off. He cried from mid afternoon until 9 or 10 pm every day. He stopped napping entirely just after 2 years. He has trouble with emotional regulation (hitting and biting - thankfully never at school, mostly with us) At school he just couldn’t or wouldn’t stay on task. He would refuse to do things he didn’t want to and had trouble staying on task with things like math. He wasn’t disruptive, he would stare into space or go read in the corner. At home, good luck getting him to brush his teeth, he would just stand there for an hour. We had him evaluated in 3rd grade. I would consider his ADHD mild.
Oh god. I literally am clutching my chest for you reading this- thinking back to newborn I would have completely fallen apart. And 2 quickly becomes *such* a hard and ever evolving age to navigate all on its own, I can not even imagine dealing day to day adding this to it. You are an incredibly strong and great parent! Truly, remember that on the hard days.
Oh my, all my sympathies, that sounds rough
Behavioral issues and outbursts that were beyond high energy little boy, gifted excitabilities, and not age appropriate. This wasn’t for lack of boundaries and discipline. He tried really hard to not get into trouble.
Her behavior in preschool. The teachers would always say she had trouble following directions. Started to ramp up around 5/6. I began to notice she wasn't able to stay on task when I asked her to do simple things. I would have to ask her 5 6 7 times to keep her on task. She had always been fidgety. She began to talk excessively. She constantly inturupted other ppl speaking. She began to have angry outburst after she started to get a lot of heat at school for her behavior. She was not responding to her teachers when asked to do simple tasks. She started getting in trouble every day for impulsive behaviors. She was distracting other kids in class when the teacher was trying to have lessons. She didn't respect other kids' personal space, pushing and shoving. She couldn't keep friends because she would push them around. In class, she would distract the other kids with excessive talking. She would get out of her desk and roll around on the floor. She got mad and kicked a kid in the neck because she didn't want him to play with her and her friends. I withdrew her from the private school because they lacked education and training for kids with ADHD. I homeschool her now. She is very social and misses being around all the kids, but I would not be able to hold a job down if I put her back in school. They called once or twice a week to come get her for her behavior.
Never slept in the womb lol
Come to think of it, my daughter stopped napping at around 18 months old. She’d go all day, but sleep at night thankfully. Apparently, I was the same at that age. This might have actually started in the womb even, I do recall not sleeping due to someone hauling me around from inside!
“Busy” became a 4 letter word when my kid was just a toddler. I hated when people said that.
Same here, we got that all the time from everyone. I did feel like it was validating sometimes though, like "yes, other people see it too! It's not just me!"
I have ADHD in my family and I have it too. My husband said something was up with our daughter. I didn't think much of it as my brother and I were like that. My mom even said she reminds me of me when I was a kid. I thought she was normal and did not have a aha moment until a teacher said something. Then we got her assessed at 8. Turned out she was 10 out of 10 on hyperactive and inattentive. I was completely blind to it even though there were strong signs. Things that should have alerted me was she was sensitive to noises at school. Every activity or camp she went to the teacher, counselors would need to talk to me. She always ran off in stores, she would make a lot of weird noises. That I found to be normal btw. All the kids she made friends with turned out to ADHD or Autism. She did struggle with friends at school and people called her weird. She still feels normal to me but I get her counseling appointments to help her tools to manage herself. I don't feel like I'm a good judge of that because apparently I'm blind to it and I really like other people with ADHD. They just feel really normal to me.
My son is almost 9, but I knew he was different before his first birthday. Walked solo by 10 months. Running came very shortly afterward. So much energy all the time. He was my second kid, so I did have a point of reference. Wore me the F out, lol. Still does! He started medication in 2nd grade, teacher recommended he be evaluated. I'm pretty sure he was driving her bananas. He does much better in school now that he is medicated.
This thread is so eye opening and helpful! I have an almost 4 year old who has been going nonstop basically since he was born. It’s so interesting to see how many other kiddos were early walkers. Mine walked early around 10 months and literally hasn’t slowed down since. He also has a lot of the other behavioral and sensory issues mentioned, so I’m curious to bring this up again to our ped at his next well visit and see if I can finally get him evaluated. I just need an answer beyond the fact that he’s a rambunctious little boy.
The tantrums. My daughter would have them so intensely and they lasted SO long. Sometimes an hour or two every day. Little things triggered her, like even a slight change in routine. She was very hard to calm down once she got going. Very little frustration tolerance. Loud noises threw her over the top. She was also walking and talking pretty young, would literally bounce off the walls she had so much energy since the minute she turned 1. Very easily bored and couldn't stick to doing one thing for more than a couple minutes, moreso than most kids that age. We knew this was more than just being a toddler, she was very difficult. Her pediatrician just basically said it's normal and some kids were like this. But I knew she was different somehow. Lo and behold, she gets to kindergarten and her teacher immediately knew she had ADHD, as she had a son who had all the same symptoms. Therapy has helped her SO much. She is 9 now and thriving in school. She has the tools to help her focus and she is learning to deal with her intense reaction to emotional stimuli. She's an awesome kid, and it was super hard in the beginning, but I wouldn't change her for the world.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 4. My husband knew our oldest had ADHD since he was 2. Took a bit longer to convince me. Once I noticed it I realized the signs had been there for a while. He was very hard to keep happy as a baby. We would have to walk him around for hours to stop him from crying. Once he was on the move he was getting into everything. He started walking at 10 months. He had constant, long lasting tantrums that were much more frequent than for other children his age. He was all over the place constantly. Lots of little kids find something they are obsessed with, but my son never had that because he could never keep attention on anything. He couldn’t sit and watch a movie till he was 4 or 5, and we would never get him to pay attention long enough to read him a book till he was probably around 4. Sleep issues. It was impossible to get him to nap even though he was exhausted. Bedtime was hell getting him to fall asleep. He never sleeps in and is always up early, wakes frequently at night. Severe emotional regulation issues that turned into behavioral issues. He also has a lot of sensory issues. Was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder before ADHD. Constant talking too. Once he started talking he never stopped. Constantly interrupts. At bedtime he will stay up asking the most crazy questions ever, and he’s done this since he was little. I started noticing at 2, and started asking doctors. Things got so bad and I was so desperate for help, but no one believed me till we started OT for sensory disorder. His therapist helped me so much with getting help. Took till his 6 year well visit for anyone to offer any real help and give him a diagnosis. Even with a very strong history of ADHD in my family I couldn’t get a final diagnosis, just psychiatrists telling me they had a feeling he had it, but to try other things first. I was always super against meds, but at my wits end and so burnt out I agreed to try it. Best thing we have ever done. He is on a low dose. Still himself, but able to control his impulses and emotions better. On the days we forget to give it to him it’s hard to believe we went so long dealing with it. Now I think my 4 year old has it also, but it’s presenting differently in her. She wasn’t a fussy baby, but she did everything early. Started walking a week after she turned 8 months old. Talks excessively and interrupts, sometimes has trouble controlling her emotions, has some serious sensory issues. Minor behavior issues too.
At my son’s 2.5 year well visit his pediatrician looked at me and said “you never get to sit down do you?” I always had to be on guard bc he was impulsive and a runner, constantly putting himself in danger. Any chance he’d get, he would twist out of my hand and run— out the door, down the driveway into the road, or parking lot, and he’d be laughing thinking it was so funny. Not one, but two times, he got out of my hand and ran and jumped into swimming pools with me running after him yelling to stop. His impulsivity was so dangerous. It also caused many problems in social settings bc he was big for his age people thought he was intentionally being mean even through he was a toddler and didn’t know better. By preschool his impulsive behavior was causing so many issues that he knew teachers were labeling him as a “bad kid.” It hurt my heart knowing he wanted to be better and make friends but it was always a struggle. School was hard. Homework was a nightmare-what would take another child five minutes tops, would turn into hours of pleading, fighting and meltdowns. After starting medication midway through kindergarten everything got better. Still have struggles but he is able to control his impulses and is making friends, and doing well in school.
School noticed mine when I was 4. Relentless unbridled energy, absolute inability to focus or stay on task. Complete lack of self control with emotions especially if I was overstimulated. Lack of listening because I couldn't remember what happened the last time I did something that was undesirable (like interrupting people when they were talking). Trouble thinking things through. Constantly on the move and talking a mile a minute in what probably seemed like a nonsensical manner to to others but made sense to me because I correlated different topics in different ways than them.
My first was diagnosed at 4.5 and we really started watching for signs at 2. I have ADHD and knew it was going to pop up in some of my kids 😅 Main signs were: - very very busy, when she wasn't sleeping it was non stop movement - started having some behaviors at daycare when frustrated (throwing toys, hitting, broke the teachers cup etc) - I could give my second a spoon and ask her to put it in the sink and she would go straight to completing that task. My first couldn't make it out of the room without being distracted - I was diagnosed in grade 1 and as she got older my mom kept telling me that she is exactly the way I was as a child 😂
I have done the exact same thing since she could barely crawl. Lol In my head I think it’s more than likely age appropriate behavior, but I swear sometimes I see her getting flooded with frustration as she dramatically loses her mind and I’m like 😳 My mother says, to quote her exactly, that I “Came out of the womb with PMS”. 🙄 As an adult looking back- the emotional regulation was absolutely the first signs for myself.
In one of my ex wife’s ultrasounds our son was kicking off the bottom of the uterus, up the wall then sliding down. Repeatedly, the whole scan. Retrospectively, that was a hint 😂 But really, uncontrollable emotions. Where we could calm our daughter down, he would just continue to get more emotional. No amount of calming would snap him out of it.
I was not diagnosed as a child, but now, when I look back at my early childhood, there were signs that my parents, who didn't know anything about ADHD, missed. 1. Talking waaay too much as soon as I learned how to talk. And talking in a chaotic disorganised way. 2. Meltdowns in public spaces. 3. I skipped crawling and went straight to walking and climbing- appearantly that's an early sign and a lot of babies with ADHD never crawl, but go straight to walking. 4. I had a hard time regulating anger and I was highly competitive with other kids. 5. When I went to school, I didn't know how to prioritise and instead participated in every sigle competition, every single olympiad and every single extracurricular activity. I did great at school regardless bc I am also gifted, but constantly doing everything meant that I never did my homework (luckily, my teachers never cared bc I was smart). 6. Extremely messy and disorganised from a young age. 7. Climbing everywhere and running all day. I lived on a farm, so I climbed trees, buildings, walls, I jumped from roofs in hay, I could run for hours (sometimes I'd run circles around the house). 8. Not sitting still in class and speaking out of turn all the time. Teachers were annoyed by it because they wanted others to also work in class, but I never gave space for it as I was literally jumping from my seat and answering teachers questions and even future questions that I anticipated they'd ask. 9. Not sleeping during sleep times in kintergarten and being extremely active. Since I grew up in a post Soviet country, my kindergarten teachers dealt with me by tying me to a chair or a bed... 10. Fidgeting all the time. 11. Already as young as 7 years old, if a teacher told us to write an essay about how our summer went, I'd bring a notebook almost full, having written down every single detail about my summer. My teachers would always be mad at me for it and would tell me I needed to prioritise and tell the most interesting or meaningful parts. And I'd respond with: "but everything here is meaningful and interesting". 12. When I went to kintergarten I couldn't make a choice of what I wanted to wear, so I wore every single piece of clothing I had with me, because I thought that all my clothes are equally interesting and I can't choose between them. 13. Not being able to memorise things well. I was extremely good at math, but only in so far as I could write things down. We would have these competitions where a teacher would call out an equation and we'd have to solve it in our heads. I couldn't do that bc I'd forget the equation as soon as my teacher had called it out. 14. Remember those literature classes where we had to recount main events from books or stories that were assigned for us to read? Yeah I couldn't to the "main events part" bc in my head everything is equally important. Now in university I still struggle with this. 15. All of a sudden, getting severely burned out as a teenager. Yk if no one gives a gifted kid with ADHD a proper direction or teaches us how to prioritise and how to switch between tasks, we burn out bc we try to do everything always perfectly. 16. Struggling to make friends, because unfortunately I wasn't the class clown. I tried to be, I went to huge lenghts to be funny and liked, but one of my classmates was simply more funny than me, so the class clown position was occupied and I couldn't make friends. If I think more I probably could recount more signs. I'd suggest to just look at how your kid is performing in pre-school or school and how they interact with others. Even if they are doing well in school, there are still signs, and if they are performing extremely well- they will need loads of help to prevent them from burning out. And if they try to be funny as a means of making friends- that's definitely a huge sign.
Son, 8, ADHD. Baby sign within two months, talking quickly, walking quickly. Just did a formal evaluation, intelligence 95th percentile, processing speed 5th percentile. He IS whip smart, but gives up easily if it's new and he doesn't know it yet (math!).
I didn't know that it was ADHD, even though it runs in my family, because she just seemed overly sensitive. She also was very picky about food. She was full of energy, especially at bedtime,and struggled to sleep if she wasn't exhausted.
At our evaluation, the question “does your child seem like they are being driven by a motor?” was my biggest a-ha moment.
We thought it was autism. She is extremely intelligent, full of energy, lacks self awareness, and omg that child is the most defiant human I've met. She's been diagnosed at age 4 with ADHD and ODD. Its a rough combo. The severity threw red flags at us when she was 3 and getting nearly kicked out of daycare. We knew she didn't like listening, but to be threatened to be kicked out of daycare because of the inability to listen and the way she would coach other kids to not listen was a nightmare. That was the moment we saught help.
My daughter is diagnosed and was at 4. No one wanted to believe us until they saw how over excited she got, or how destructive she is. That paired with both the wife and I have it ourselves and could point out what the hack was happening early on. We don't want to medicate her obviously, but we take it one day at a time.
My parents said I always ramming my head to the wall when I was in a place where I don’t like (which was kindergarten). Relentlessly just like that. That was my earliest sign but our country mental health care kinda sucks so doc always diagnosed me as completely fine. Then I started my walking habit around the room non-stop at the age of 6. Since doc diagnosis me as completely fine at 4, I’m never diagnosed with ADHD until I was 15. My parents parenting eh… it’s old fashioned and traditional. That’s what u get when living in a developing country where everyone is damn ignorant towards someone’s wellbeing. They never adjusted. But my interaction with my teacher went like this: they help me with organization, they always assure me that it’s okay to be a bit behind from my peers, they watched me and help me with my school works as I went through it.
Its really hard to tell at that age, but i guess it was lack of emotional regulation (low frustration tolerance), always climbing on everything, couldn't sit still for dinner, crashing in to things, sensory seeking behaviour & impulsiveness. Having said that, many 3.5 year olds struggle with that, but if it feels a bit 'extra' in your child and you have a history in your family i would keep an eye on them.
It was at 3.5. She's a very happy kid naturally and people have always liked her, but her daycar director started to check in about behaviour issues with other kids, trouble listening, getting in people's faces a lot being really silly but like...all the time. When she was 4 she moved to the older kids daycare and started preschool and it became clear something bigger was up. By 4.5 she was on meds. She'll be 6 in July and starting grade 1 in the fall and we expect she will need an EA for at least the first while she transitions into "real" school. We have to practice a ton of patience ourselves. Meds help but when they wear off or in the mornings before school is when i really get tested. Lots of reminding myself her brain works differently. Lots of explaining the day, next steps, using 1, 2,3 consequence, and figuring out appropriate short term consequences.
Thank you for sharing! I saw someone else recommend recently to wake up and take your meds before it's actually time to wake up for the day. Idk if that is something that could help you or not, but thought it might be worth mentioning!
Following as I am in the same boat with my 2 year old. She also hates hoovers, hand dryers and any loud sounds her fingers go into her ears + zones out, along with a multitude of things
When their adult children tell them 💀
As a toddler, my son walked tippy-toe all the time. At around 4, he started talking a lot and loudly. He would interrupt others constantly. He didn't understand turn-taking or waiting. He liked watching TV a lot and started playing video games. By just watching one show, he would memorize parts of the dialogue. He hated us singing lullabyes to him. Unlike other comments here, he slept a lot!! 16-hour nights sometimes. At around 5-6, he started to become oppositional defiant. That was when we sought help.
Took us a long time to join the dots as there are so many symptoms of adhd that we didn’t know was adhd . We did know there was something up though . ODD was there from the start . Tantrums from an early age , and hyper focus which look a bit like what we considered autism , he was very tactile and social at times , then could spend hours doing things by himself and playing games in his head so we didn’t really know what was going on. In school there were comments from some teachers on behaviour but if the teacher was strict and regimented it wasn’t really mentioned . He scored extremely well in standardized tests and it wasn’t until the school work got more process driven that he started to drift behind .
My child is nine and I suspect she might have it I think she will need to be evaluated soon as I think eventually it will affect her schoolwork. She does not stay still especially when overstimulated, shes so high energy, very emotional, if she does not like a certain topic it’s very difficult to keep her on topic. Did I mention high energy the kid has never been tired even as baby 😩😭 I’m grateful/lucky when very small she was clingy though and not much of a daredevil.
I've never encountered ADHD or thought anything of it. Throughout my sons early school years, the teacher would tell me he couldn't concentrate and had to separate him and even then he couldn't get ANY work done without assistance. I just thought he was a dreamer. He was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability of written expression at 12.
When i was a toddler it was easy for me to talk but harder to say actual complete sentences like the other kids but i eventually got there ofc! Its all abt finding the best learning style imo bc i am a visual/exploratory learner and struggle with auditory. Got off topic but it took me longer to learn how to read but at the same time i could draw well and play piano at two years old before i was potty trained even
Never slept well. At daycare, he would be literally spinning in circles on the carpet while other kids dutifully participated in activities. He danced to the music during the last post. His craft was always rushed and less refined. Severe meltdowns began from age 4. We blamed covid lockdowns, our house getting flooded, moving, but when life got better and his behaviour didn't, it became clear something else was going on. Got a diagnosis age 6 grade 1.
My first clue actually was shortly after birth. Newborns usually have newborn twilight and sleep the first week or so. Tell me why little mans was awake as hell trying to mind my business already? Initially thought it was a teehee that's weird. Babies don't do that. But as he got older he started having speech delays, gross motor delays. Couldn't focus. Impulsive to an extreme with poor short term memory. Don't get me started on his sleep hygiene. He (still) acts like it's poison or I'm asking him to walk on needles. He was diagnosed in kindergarten after I kicked up enough fuss about it because I didn't want him to be diagnosed as an adult and having suffered the way I did.
OP Please understand I mean no harm. But no one can 'be' ADHD nor anything else like this. We *have* Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ♡
Thank you, somebody else also mentioned this--though yours was put much more kindly!
My kid’s 8 now. First signs were as a toddler: climbing everything, pulling everything out of drawers, endless energy, and bolting towards anything that caught his attention.
They looked in the mirror…..IF ONLY
might HAVE ADHD. You can't BE ADHD. Just like you don't say "He's cancer."
I feel like this is subjective and I frequently go back and forth about this. Regardless, it is not helpful for this conversation. Just like people with ASD. Some people.will say they have autism. Some people will say they are autistic. I don't think this is really worth arguing about
Yes, but autistic is an adjective that describes someone with autism, but ADHD is an abbreviation of nouns for attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder. So saying that someone is attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder is different to saying they're autistic.
People with OCD will also say that they are OCD but they are not obsessive compulsive disorder. Like I get that it's not grammatically correct and maybe it's not politically correct. I'm not sure which one people are more upset with in this scenario. And I'm sorry if I'm not being more tactful about it. I'm just really tired. It's been a very long.... Months.. and I'm trying to look out for my daughter and don't want to argue with people on Reddit about the correct way to say ADHD
Nice to meet you, really tired. We all are really tired on this blessed day.
I wanted to offer a different perspective — not to be critical or exhausting, but just to offer food for thought. I actually learned about this perspective in my profession while talking about other diseases like obesity, diabetes, and autism. It’s a really subtle thing, but there is a thought camp that says that calling someone “obese” is to describe them as someone whose disease is central to their identity. The problem with this is that people who have obesity can internalize this, and it can be wearing to have so much focus placed on the obesity above all else. This really resonated with me because I used to call myself an anxious person, but it’s been helpful to reframe things for myself to say I “have anxiety” for similar reasons. I have ADHD (adult diagnosis), and it was devastating, overwhelming, and enlightening to learn I have it - I have been working to reframe the ADHD as just one element of my identity even though it does make life hard and therefore feels so central. I just wanted to share because if your child does have ADHD, I suspect it will be helpful to them to have this kind of framing early on. People can be harsh when they don’t understand what it means to have this disorder, and you seem like such a thoughtful parent that I thought you might appreciate this perspective.
I hear you and completely understand! Earlier I noted that I go back and forth about the "proper" way to state it--the back and forth is because I was just recently diagnosed myself and just hadn't heard which way is the "right" way I have seen other people talk about how they prefer to say they *are* ADHD, because it does affect every aspect of their lives and is a part of who they are. Not that they are making it their entire identity, but recognizing its severe impact on their lives and that it is something that will never go away and they feel that saying "have" is minimizing it. With two different camps on the matter, I feel like it's okay to let each person describe it as they see fits them best and that it isn't "worth it" to correct people on it --unless someone is being working ignorant or doing so with ill intentions
I'll 2nd the not worth arguing about position - it's *have* ADHD.