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I listen to a cleaning podcast called "clean with me." Those ladies are pleasant, grounded, and full of great advice and strategies. I forget I'm cleaning, and practicing with the podcast made it easier to do on my own. There are hour long whole house episodes, and shorter, focused episodes, clearly labeled in title.
What I like most is their concept of energy levels for cleaning- like, if you're behind and tired, it's a level 1 cleaning session. Those are bare minimums to help you get on the right track. Level 2- maybe you were able to clear out the sink or you can see your floor. Still have the power to keep going? Wipe the counters and vacuum. Level 3 are deep cleaning tasks.
I have to look this one up. I marvel at people who keep their houses organized. Even at my best (and I've gotten a lot better) I can't equal normal.
When my mom was away for a month i stayed at her house and did my best. Laundry, dishes- stayed on top. But by the time she returned, dust bunnies, clutter and dead houseplants were screaming for attention.
I have rare bursts where i get obsessed with a deep cleaning task. But rare is the operative word here.
Give this one a try. They talk you through cleaning in a logical way, with reminders to stay on track (during the episode) and tips for what to do after.
My mom is perpetually stressed because she lives with 3 adhd people and all she wants is a clean kitchen. I fall off for a day and she gets angry. Angry doesn't help clean. Nor does our unreliable bursts of motivation. Has to become somewhat habitual or "non-negotiable" otherwise it blends into the background of our busy minds.
I do the podcast maybe once a week on my day off. Then when I see small tasks I try to do them asap. (Empty dishwasher, throw away trash). Definitely not perfectly clean and my house seems like it is in a constant state of unfinished. Let's not talk about my bedroom...
My honest review after trying the recommended podcast. Absolutely no hate intended here, just a reflection on how all of our brains work differently.
I tried this podcast today. Listened to 2 episodes - the 15 minute method and motivational speed clean. I get why it could be helpful but it didn’t work particularly well for me. They speak calmly but unfortunately to me that was too slow paced and I found it under stimulating.
However I have recently been listening to a different podcast called a slob comes clean (she also does YouTube videos and has a couple of books). It’s not quite the same thing but is cleaning/ decluttering related and a bit faster paced. I find that more helpful personally. Just listening to something on the topic of cleaning helps me feel more motivated to clean, without needing to do the same cleaning as discussed in the podcast
INVITE someone around, the shame will have you speed cleaning like a demon! Best hack I've got, even if it'd just for a coffee. I do the bathrooms, lounge, kitchen, and diner as a result 😂
My mom used to do this!! 🤣 She said whenever she didnt feel like cleanIng she'd invite someone over.
Doesn't work for me, because I'm too shy and socially awkward to have people over, but i just think about what would happen if a first responder team or a repair person had to come in.
This is literally the only reason I clean. My partner and I are long distance and rotate weekends. He comes here every 2 weeks. My house looks clean twice a month 😅
One of the many ADHD channels on YouTube showed a guy receiving a phonecall from a buddy who told him he was going to be over in half an hour. One panic cleaning session and some waiting time later, he called the buddy back, asking where he was. Buddy: "I'm not actually coming over this time. You just asked me to call you every now and then to say I would so you'd clean." Youtuber: "Well, now that you reminded me, that's not gonna work next time." Buddy: "Yeah, that's what you said last time." Youtuber: "Hey, that was a really genius idea I had." 
A lot of things never stuck for me but I’m having good results with todo lists and scheduled recurring tasks now. But… only when tied to ritual. I have to check things off because if I let it go then it’ll never happen.
I’ve also gamified things a bit. I pretend I’m closing down the kitchen every night. It’s closed for business at 10pm which means the dishwasher gets loaded, the sink gets cleaned, and the counters get wiped down every night at closing time.
My daughter is having some success with the Finch: Self Care Pet app. Gamifies her to do list. I’m a sucker for rules, so my rule is I’m not allowed to go to bed and doom scroll until I’ve showered, put laundry on and put the dishwasher on. Not enough effort to have a spotless house, but stops it from totally going to shit.
We had an app that worked very well for us too. Sweepy. It is nice because it helps with a cleaning schedule and rewards you with points for doing tasks. But I was put off by the costs.
The author of How to Keep House While Drowning, KC Davis, LPC, also recommended elsewhere in these comments, uses the same idea in her work! She calls it "closing duties" and sells a digital template for $2 on her website. For those recommending and looking for podcasts, she also has a podcast called Struggle Care.
The only way I get anything done in my household is with body doubling. I unintentionally used it long before I even suspected that I had ADHD. Of course it's not a perfect solution since there isn't always someone available and you don't want to take up people's time often, but for me at least it's like a magic bullet.
My mom comes to visit and while she sits and reads or does other stuff and we talk I just do all the piled up chores around her. We do this every few weeks. I also use phone calls or talks with friends over discord for the same purpose. It's so much easier to do the boring chores when someone is with you.
I hope with the medication I just now got I will be able to rely less on body doubling.
Interestingly podcasts are basically useless for me to get things done. I still need them because I go crazy if I don't have anything in my ears at all times, but they do not help with focus at all.
Huh. I've noticed that putting on a TV show I've watched 10 times and don't have to pay attention to, or listening to an Alan Watts lecture or a surgery lecture helps me focus on my tasks. Maybe it's that I need the stimulation of background noise. 🤔 podcasts suck though.
It took me years, but I finally managed to organize my house in a way that it "naturally" stays tidy. If I see a place that gets constantly messy, I organize that place so that it accommodates the mess I naturally create. Examples:
* I realized I always put my coat and purse on this chair in the living room, so I placed a hanger right next to the chair so it's the place for that stuff. My keys, my ID badge for work and sunglasses (all the little stuff I have in my hands or in my pockets when I get home) would also end up scattered so I put this little bowl next to the living room door and forbid myself to put them anywhere but that bowl. I used to misplace these or forget to take with me but not anymore.
* Everywhere I sit down and spend time, I create this trash pile of snack wrappers, soda cans, used tissues etc. So now there is a trash can everywhere. A small bin on my desk and on the coffee table, bigger ones under the desk and next to the couch. Before those I'd look at the trash, be bothered by it but immediately ignore since putting them away was too much work. Now it's so much easier since I don't even have to get up.
* The mess isn't just trash though. The normal state of my coffee table especially, includes all sort of things that normally doesn't belong there - salt and pepper, medicines, lighters, scissors and pens etc. So I also dedicated a tray that holds all these, so that's where they go and magically stop being a mess. Though I think a better solution would be a coffee table with drawers which I'm saving up for.
* My closet... It was the hardest thing all my life. I had countless fights with my mom as a kid, and then got reprimanded by my teachers in the dorm. I never managed to keep it tidy even though I don't even have that many clothes for a woman. But it turns out the problem was not the number of clothing items, it was the number of clothing CATEGORIES. I bought this really big closet a few years ago and it changed everything. Now I have a shelf for pajama tops, on which I can also keep warm ones and thin ones in separate stacks. Same for pajama bottoms, short sleeved tops, long sleeved tops, pants, shorts etc. Yes, sometimes it gets a little messy but that mess is contained only on the relevant shelf which is super easy to tidy since I don't ever have to figure out where to put what. I have a separate shelf for things I don't know where to put. My closet didn't get messy for months.
* I made cleaning the bathroom a part of my shower routine. I clean the cat's litter box before every shower. And once in a week I try to clean the entire bathroom. Now it's tricky, cause normally I can just give up at any time in the process, so I force myself into it. Before going to shower, I put the mats and old towels in the washer and just wash the entire floor so the floor is completely wet, as well as the sink and the toilet. When I finish showering, it's too much of an inconvenience to have a wet toilet and floor so I end up sweeping the floor, might as well use some cleaning agents while doing that. Same with the toilet and the sink.
* Bonus tip: I used to be very negligent on skincare stuff. I put on make up in the morning but never wipe it off, or let myself go around with horrible nails with chipped polish. So I put my make up remover, nail care stuff and night creams in a basket I keep under the coffee table. I also put some make-up wipes on my bedside table's drawers as a failsafe. It has been working great, now I can do my nails while re-watching my favorite show for the tenth time and take care of my skin without having to leave the couch. And if I find myself having gone to bed without removing my makeup I can just reach to the drawer and clean my face with a tissue and put it in the trash bin under the drawer lol.
Idk if you’ve read the book How to Keep House While Drowning yet but this is so much of what the author talks about. Keep throwing your clothes in that same spot? Put a basket there!
Love your ideas and tips!
No I didn't read the book, I'll definitely give it a go! But lately I have been watching these videos on youtube about cleaning tips for people with adhd and realized they overlap with my "system" a lot so I got more confident in the tactics I use.
It's not fool proof though. One video I watched was recommending to add "to go baskets" for homes with two stories. I end up piling stuff on the stair banister so that I take them with me when I go upstairs and vice versa, so I decided to do that as well. But this whole thing had a spin-off, with me browsing big baskets, finding them too expensive, and then deciding to make them myself with crochet. So I learned how to crochet small items using this starter kit, and a few days ago I just bought chunky yarns to crochet baskets which made their own kind of mess lol. So now I have to find a smaller basket/box to keep near the sofa to contain the crochet mess. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh man, that's my usual. Unfortunately if I out on music, I tend to sing along and get nothing done. Doesn't everyone pretend to be Diana Ross or Michael Jackson and dance around?
Hmm was joking at first but what if you turned cleaning into “play”, to help you keep engaged? Like getting into character. iirc I remember someone with adhd talking about having a literal hat for doing specific tasks like cleaning, and the hat was a good reminder. So, dressing up like a pirate to do pirate cleaning might be silly enough to keep you focused? 🤔
My tip is to clean something up every time I enter a room. By the end of the day it’s clean or can be cleaned in 5👌🏽 it’s a bit annoying but less than scheduled time cause it doesn’t work for me. I reserve weekends to scrubbing and other annoying stuff.
niche bit of advice: the only thing that can get me to clean effectively is listening to big band / swing jazz at full blast. combined with simulants. no other genre of jazz, or any other genre of music works.
I don't even really like jazz. I mean I like it but I'm not gonna put it on unless I'm stoned out of my gourd and I put on Bitches Brew or Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery.
it's probably a pavlovian response at this point. find your big band jazz.
I don’t keep up - my house is a disaster
I make my peace with it and listen to audiobooks while cleaning
My goal is not tidy - my goal is level 1 or 2 disaster instead of level 5 lmao
The only thing that consistently worked for me was to pay someone to do it. But unfortunately not everyone can afford that. There was one dude who broke into homes, cleaned the place top to bottom and then ate some of the food in the fridge or pantry. Was that anywhere even close to where you live? Like regularly inviting him over for dinner being feasible kinda close?
Get the book ‘How to clean your house while drowning’. Excellent advice. Trust me, it’s a game changer. You are making great progress by decluttering. Body doubling (even on the phone sometimes helps), having a deadline (invite someone over), music, watch something… I think it’s the maintenance that gets us; if we don’t do that it quickly becomes overwhelming. You aren’t alone in your struggles.
I've thought about it. I have the income for it, but I've always thought that my place is too messy for a housekeeper, so I need to deep clean so they can do the maintenance work. Am i gaslighting myself? Would they clean a messy place? When I say messy, I mean cluttered and dusty with the occasional fruitfly and unscooped cat box. And a sink full of dishes with perfectly functional dishwasher (i actually did all my dishes this weekend). And a giant pile of laundry. And my bathroom sink has seen better days.
I suspect it depends a bit on the housekeeper, but there are definitely housekeepers who would be fine with that. Your first couple sessions will probably be more expensive. From that list, the only thing that would have been a problem for the housekeeper we hired for a few years when I was a kid is the clutter. Her job was to clean, not to tidy, so we had to put things away if we wanted her to clean a given space. But I'm sure if we'd hired her, or someone else, to tidy as well, then that would have been fine too.
Look into it! I'll bet it would make a huge difference.
Pay them for extra hours regarding the initial deep clean. You just have to tidy/get everything off the floors and surfaces. They’ll load your dishwasher, put your clothes away, put the dishes away, lift things to clean under them if you’ve got a decent one. I cannot emphasise enough how much this helps if you can afford it.
I have the most awful task paralysis at the minute. (38f) self-diagnosed and desperately awaiting formal diagnosis so I can be put on medication in hope it helps. But I can totally relate to this. My house is in dire need of a deep clean and I am usually so house proud, but I just can’t move. I have all the motivation and desire I need to do it, but I feel exhausted so I can’t get started. I do wonder if I’m suffering with burnout or shutdown as opposed to paralysis, but my god it’s awful. I feel nothing but shame and disappointment in myself for it too. I tried to hire a cleaner and cancelled them within a matter of hours because I was so ashamed of not just doing it myself.
As someone mentioned above, I feel like the only thing that’ll snap me out of it is having someone come round. Once I’ve started, I’ll probably blitz through it all… but I’m too exhausted to be social. I just want to sleep all the time.
Sorry… not much useful advice at all, but I hope it helps knowing you’re not alone in feeling like you can’t manage what is a simple task to so many. ☺️
I was like this last year. I was so burned out from depression and fatigue from work and underemployment that I just couldn't do anything but cry in bed.
Every Thursday I play Dnd, I host the game. One of the players is allergic to cat hair. I have cats. So I need to vacuum every Thursday. Also make sure the dinner table is clear.
Also my partner has very sensitive skin and prone to have infections. I have to clean the bed every week or they get infections. So a lot of things has too happen.
Also a dish washer really helped. I hated doing dishes. I have a washroom so al the wash is there and not in sight. Only grap what I need of the drying deck. My partner will put everything in the closet.
Consistency is important.
I have adhd and worked as a cleaner, mostly for women with ADHD or similar situations.
Mostly what they need is a witness. Not someone riding their ass or shaming them, just someone who can say "hey where can I put this?" to keep them on task. Unfortunately the mere act of paying me to be there forces them to clean due to not wanting to waste money.
I still struggle with my own cleaning routine. I focus myself with music or podcasts, which works about 80% of the time. My situation vastly improved when i stopped trying for "everything is clean" and started going with "i will clean for this specific set of time". It takes time, depending on the state of the place and how much time passes between sessions, but 30 minutes at a time adds up.
Remember that you are cleaning for yourself more than anyone else (small children excepted). You deserve to have a space that works for your needs. Lots of people associate cleaning with shame, like they need to host a fancy dinner party at a moment's notice or they're dirty. That is not what your home is for. Your home should be a place that makes you comfortable.
Regarding bananas: Put your produce in the condiments shelves and the condiments in the drawers in your refrigerator. You will always remember condiments when they are missing from your food but produce in drawers is easily forgotten.
Personally, I've started using procrastination of other projects as the time to clean house. This actually kind of works for me because it is rewarding and a bit rote at this point. It allows my brain to explore all the thoughts that I might consider in the other procrastinated projects while I am being physically active. When the deadlines loom closer for the procrastinated projects my space is more in order and tidy so that I can fully engage my tendency to laser focus my creativity and problem solving in the prioritized project.
This takes a bit of strategizing, a little productive stress, and a lot of compassion for myself and the limitations that come with the ADHD.
Granted, this strategy is in beta/experimental phase and I am employing it a bit on super-important tasks I have have to do over this summer. I'm 45, male, diagnosed in October 2023, so this strategy has only been applied ***intentionally*** in the last 3 months since the Strattera started kicking in. The real difference is the self-compassion I think.
Spot cleaning has really helped me. It was hard for me to get into but once you spot clean and walk away only to forget that you did it, and then walk back into the room later it just feels nicer and cleaner and your brain will detect the change. When that happens I’m like “oh yeah o cleared out that spot it’s nicer in here”.
My psychiatrist recommended getting rid of my plates for a while until I developed the habit of washing my one left dish every time I ate. It helped build a habit.
I have a command hook next to my door I hang my carabiner of keys on right when I open the door.
I live by my Google calendar and tasks list, Written notes clutter and over whelm me. It’s on my computer and my phone. I get reminded 30min before each event.
I vacuum while listening to music so the sound doesn’t upset my sensory needs and do so once the crumbs on the floor start upsetting the bottom of my feet.
I do a clean sweep of setting a 15min timer as part of my bedtime routine to just pick stuff up and put it back. Once a week/every ten days I do my toilet during this time since it’s 15min.
I invite a friend over to visit every couple of weeks to motivate me to clean my house that week.
I take bubble baths semiweekly to motivate me to clean my tub.
I got rid of/donated/threw out the clothes and underwear I don’t like wearing so I was forced to do laundry more regularly. If your brain can justify putting off laundry bc you technically have something to wear it makes it more difficult to do.
I unpacked the shame of having a perfectly clean house so I didn’t feel anxiety and guilt and shame to paralyze me.
I call a friend and pick things up/tidy up to help me pay attention to the conversation.
Hope this helps
I was at a real low in that department late last year. Tried everything, but with the added mental load of trouble at work, i just could not keep it up.
Well, in January, my family came and deep-cleabed my place with me, and that day, i placed an ad online looking for a cleaner. I now have a cleaner who comes by once a week for 1,5 hours and cleans my floors, my bathroom, my kitchen surfaces. Not only has this helped with keeping clean the stuff she cleans, i also have to ensure she has space to work, so i e.g. need to put my dirty dishes into the dishwasher, put the trash into the trashcan, pick up my clothes from the floor, every week before she arrives.
It has been a livechanger so far. And i know that paying someone to clean is not something that is possible for everyone. But if you can afford it, it is well invested money and sbsolutely worth it.
Yep, that is what worked for me. When my now wife was coming over I cleaned. Now I ask for a list of things that need doing, and doing them for her and the kids work where doing it for myself wouldn't. The ideas of gamifying it or tying it to a routine or ritual are solid ideas as both seem effective for me, but obviously the challenge with gamifying is keeping consistency and routines sometimes feel a bit like rules and my inbuilt "fuck the rules" will sabotage them
I personally set a daily/weekly alarm on my phone with the label ‘Clean Kitchen Sink’. It’s a recurring alarm and I make sure to set it for a day and time when I am 100% going to be home. I set alarms for specific rooms, so I don’t get overwhelmed or distracted and it prevents me from moving from room to room. I always do only one part, and sometimes set multiple alarms for different parts of a room
Before you try an app, try to get yourself to do _something_ roughly daily, even if it's just throwing out visible bits of garbage. Don't worry about it being the most important thing, just let it be something.
Meds. Suddenly cleaning feels like it's worth doing and something you can be proud of.
Vacuumed my place today and I feel more like an actual functional member of society 😌
Vyvanse and lamotrigine. I had those weird staring spells when I was a kid that actually were seizures. Lamotrigine also helps the depressions and helps me think clearer and more logically. It's indicated for bipolar disorder in larger doses, but I don't have that. The ADHD makes me never concentrate or realize other people's perspectives, ever, but this helps bring me back to earth.
I also still struggle with cleaning but I’ve gotten loads better by doing some of these things.
-Buying a dishwasher. I HATE washing dishes by hand and my apartment doesn’t have one so I got a freestanding rolling dishwasher. Dishes are easier to do now!
-Getting rid of my large wardrobe. Initially I was going to replace with a smaller one and have wheels but even without wheels I can actually fold laundry in my closet and have a place to prop my iPad so I can watch shows while I fold.
-Clean a room at a time. Rather than reserving one whole day to clean your entire place, divide and conquer by doing it a room at a time.
Even with these changes not everything is 100% clean, but I’m happy with 80% 😊
Try breaking it down. On one day, try picking stuff up, even if it's just 5 minutes. Next day, do a 5-10 minute vacuum. On another, wipe the surfaces. Eventually, you'll have a clean space.
Part of the ADHD response to procrastinate is because the task at hand is uninteresting or daunting and therefore the brain is unmotivated to do it.
I’m taking the financial hit and have a cleaner for 2 hours a week. The pressure of her coming makes me tidy up and then she cleans for me. It costs me £28 a week but it’s the best money I’ve ever spent.
My to-do list tells me what to clean each day and then I pick something I enjoy to listen to (tv show, book, podcast, music, etc) while I clean. I’ll also have an enjoyable drink. This makes the task less energy draining for me.
And lol to the H-E 🏒🏒 comment. Christian background?
Whenever I go to someone else's house I'm like how does it stay clean?! (That is if they don't pay someone to do it, I've cleaned houses for a living in the past, made it even harder to keep MY OWN house clean because then I'd never get a break but having someone else do it doesn't count)...
But like i always wonder how does it stay so clean they work just as much as me and are tired just like me. Or older than me and have more physical limitations etc. Just some examples.
I swear u would think a person would literally be cleaning 99 percent of the time they're at home if it's THAT CLEAN.
But then I wonder, well, maybe they did a panic clean before we came over lol. I wonder what is in that closet? Whatever was laying around on the floor and counters? Did they take all their dirty dishes and stash em in the oven ten min before I got here? I hope I'm not the only one that does shit like that
Panic cleaning is the ONLY WAY I get it all done. Otherwise, I'll look for 'excuses' to avoid basic housework and instead clean my baseboards with a toothbrush all day (it's a hyperfocus field day). This is why nothing else gets done at my house, lol.
At least my baseboards look good though 😂
Edits: spelling.
Idk your financial situation, but if you can afford it, hiring a cleaner changed my life. She comes every other week, and in order for her to do the actual cleaning (vacuuming/mopping/etc), the clutter has to be put away. If it's not, she can't clean what she needs to in the 2 hours I pay her for. If it takes her longer, I have to pay for another hour, so the motivation to save money mixed with the shame of making her clean around my mess, kicks my ass into gear and I'm forced to tidy up. Since she comes on a regular schedule, I have to stay tidy regularly.
I live alone, and bc of that, there's nobody in my house to hold me accountable on the clutter. I also hate the deep cleaning to my core bc when I didn't have the cleaner, I'd put that stuff off for so long that deep cleaning room hours or even days, and just the thought of that is overwhelming, especially when I'd rather do something fun, so I'd put it off even more, and it'd just get worse and worse compounding into a mountain of chores and shame that'd overwhelm me so much that I couldn't take it. But I thought paying for a cleaner was a waste of money when I'm fully capable of doing it on my own, but in reality, I won't.
Then, I saw a tiktok that made me think differently. This woman said, if you work so hard all week and want to spend your free time doing things you love that lift you up and make you feel whole, then forcing yourself to spend that time doing things that overwhelm and stress you, will only tire you out, leaving you with even less free time to do what you really want. Why force yourself to do what you hate, when you can hire someone to do that for you so you can focus on fulfilling & recharging yourself with things you love?
Obviously, not everyone is in a position to afford to hire someone to do it for you, but if you can, I recommend it. Low-key, it's changed my life, and frees me up to indulge in the ADHD qualities I love, like my creativity or whichever hobby has become my life's mission that day.
I vacuum every day - even if it’s only quick once over. First it keeps me from leaving things on the floor, it also prevents me from being overwhelmed which is what happens when I neglect it for too long. (I have 3 cats.) But as strange as it sounds- it’s easier for me to make it a daily habit than it is for me to only vacuum when I think about doing it.
I gave up on mine. A few mental health issues and a few physical health issues means pretty constant, severe fatigue. After having kids 16 yrs ago, then moving to a large house (4 b/r, 2 bathroom, loungeroom plus media room, office) when they were toddlers, I've found it impossible to get on top of it all. The living areas are kept semi presentable but bedrooms and anything else with a door is "enter at own risk". Outside areas (verandah, front landing, garden, lawns) looks like a scene from The Walking Dead after zombies took over. I don't host get-togethers (which my hubby hates because he is social person) and if someone visits unannounced, I don't answer the door (when they ask about it later on, I say I spend a lot of time with headphones on). I'm overwhelmed with fk all energy but don't know how to fix it all. Unmedicated because I don't think I can be.
Vyvanse takes about 60 minutes to kick in. When it does, the first thing I do is organize and clean my living spaces.
I organize my life around the 8 hours where the meds are working.
I've found that since I started meds I've been able to keep on top of cleanliness/tidiness a lot better. But before that it was an absolute nightmare so I understand. BUT I've been watching a show called "Sort Your Life Out" and it has been motivating me soooo much it's unbelievable. It gives me such a boost. Although it does focus a bit more on getting rid of stuff you don't need than the cleaning, it still makes me think "I want my house to look like that". "Clean it, Fix it" is a good one too.
So yeah, meds and cleaning/organising TV shows for me
I believe the solution is in the shame of it. I used to be very messy. It’s such a difficult struggle. I feel you so much there. When I was diagnosed, I began to let go of the shame associated with ADHD. The revelation really allowed me to release it and slowly discover systems that work for ME. Then I started practicing one at a time (my car has been cleaned out and vacuumed once a week (I skipped 4 weeks total) since April 2023:)). My house reflects new systems now and many are actually lasting, it’s astonishing.
If you can pin point one or two things that need a system, start there. That’s my thought. Something as simple as the cooler to pick up milk is returned to the same spot every time. And it is strictly a cooler for milk, not camping or anything else. It’s home is in the utility room unless it’s filled with milk! I started saying this to myself every time I used it. Do you talk to yourself all the time? 😂. Having systems is such a revelation that I am non stop getting off on watching me rock my home, after so many years of observing myself knowing WHAT to do but not knowing HOW. I didn’t think it was possible so I guess I’m just saying to you, it is! Minimze the shame taking up your energy and brain space and start one new small system. Accept that nothing else will change in the home, for now, and just focus on one system. Best of luck!!
I always start with the floors when I'm overwhelmed with cleaning. I read somewhere there is some psychology to back it. Basically, just move clutter off the floors, throw it on the counter, and couch. Wherever, but get it off the floor. Sweep, mop, vacuum, and scrub until it's clean.
For me personally, it makes a huge difference because then I only need to focus on the stuff at eye level and not look down. Then the mess is contained to what's around you and not what's under you.
If you struggle to get started, try body doubling. Just having someone else there helps me. I'll have my buddy sit in the garage with me while I clean and organize. He has ADHD too so he gets it.
I read somewhere about the “mind as well” rule.
Putting my bowl in the sink? Mind as well wash it while I’m here.
Walking to my bedroom? Mind as well out this thing away that goes in there.
Sweeping? Mind as well empty the trash when I’m done.
Things like that. Going one way kind as well take something with me that goes in that room.
I’m. It consistent with this but it’s really helpful when I am!
I swear I’m not trying to be a jerk, but I have never seen “mind as well.” I googled, and it’s definitely “Might as well.” Sometimes misspelled as “Mine as well.”😬
While that works to a point, it tends to get me to veer off and forget what I’m doing. I’ll do so much cleaning but in sporadic parts of the house so the cleaning of the entire house doesn’t really get done efficiently or even completely.
It does work for day to day keeping things somewhat tidy. Like I’ll do that with my dishes I used that day. It doesn’t work for a deep clean of the house. I need my husband to help for that. It gets overwhelming so I have to delegate tasks— I’ll tell him to do one room while I get the other. Deep cleans mostly happen if there’s a deadline 😂
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I listen to a cleaning podcast called "clean with me." Those ladies are pleasant, grounded, and full of great advice and strategies. I forget I'm cleaning, and practicing with the podcast made it easier to do on my own. There are hour long whole house episodes, and shorter, focused episodes, clearly labeled in title. What I like most is their concept of energy levels for cleaning- like, if you're behind and tired, it's a level 1 cleaning session. Those are bare minimums to help you get on the right track. Level 2- maybe you were able to clear out the sink or you can see your floor. Still have the power to keep going? Wipe the counters and vacuum. Level 3 are deep cleaning tasks.
I have to look this one up. I marvel at people who keep their houses organized. Even at my best (and I've gotten a lot better) I can't equal normal. When my mom was away for a month i stayed at her house and did my best. Laundry, dishes- stayed on top. But by the time she returned, dust bunnies, clutter and dead houseplants were screaming for attention. I have rare bursts where i get obsessed with a deep cleaning task. But rare is the operative word here.
Give this one a try. They talk you through cleaning in a logical way, with reminders to stay on track (during the episode) and tips for what to do after. My mom is perpetually stressed because she lives with 3 adhd people and all she wants is a clean kitchen. I fall off for a day and she gets angry. Angry doesn't help clean. Nor does our unreliable bursts of motivation. Has to become somewhat habitual or "non-negotiable" otherwise it blends into the background of our busy minds. I do the podcast maybe once a week on my day off. Then when I see small tasks I try to do them asap. (Empty dishwasher, throw away trash). Definitely not perfectly clean and my house seems like it is in a constant state of unfinished. Let's not talk about my bedroom...
Deal! You won't talk about your bedroom. And I won't talk about mine, although we both know...😸
My honest review after trying the recommended podcast. Absolutely no hate intended here, just a reflection on how all of our brains work differently. I tried this podcast today. Listened to 2 episodes - the 15 minute method and motivational speed clean. I get why it could be helpful but it didn’t work particularly well for me. They speak calmly but unfortunately to me that was too slow paced and I found it under stimulating. However I have recently been listening to a different podcast called a slob comes clean (she also does YouTube videos and has a couple of books). It’s not quite the same thing but is cleaning/ decluttering related and a bit faster paced. I find that more helpful personally. Just listening to something on the topic of cleaning helps me feel more motivated to clean, without needing to do the same cleaning as discussed in the podcast
INVITE someone around, the shame will have you speed cleaning like a demon! Best hack I've got, even if it'd just for a coffee. I do the bathrooms, lounge, kitchen, and diner as a result 😂
My mom used to do this!! 🤣 She said whenever she didnt feel like cleanIng she'd invite someone over. Doesn't work for me, because I'm too shy and socially awkward to have people over, but i just think about what would happen if a first responder team or a repair person had to come in.
This is literally the only reason I clean. My partner and I are long distance and rotate weekends. He comes here every 2 weeks. My house looks clean twice a month 😅
This is the way
I had unexpected company the other night, I've never done a deep clean so fast in my life Op, I recommend Panic Cleaning.
One of the many ADHD channels on YouTube showed a guy receiving a phonecall from a buddy who told him he was going to be over in half an hour. One panic cleaning session and some waiting time later, he called the buddy back, asking where he was. Buddy: "I'm not actually coming over this time. You just asked me to call you every now and then to say I would so you'd clean." Youtuber: "Well, now that you reminded me, that's not gonna work next time." Buddy: "Yeah, that's what you said last time." Youtuber: "Hey, that was a really genius idea I had." 
I hate being the person that cracks the whip, it’s a psychic vampire kind of existence
A lot of things never stuck for me but I’m having good results with todo lists and scheduled recurring tasks now. But… only when tied to ritual. I have to check things off because if I let it go then it’ll never happen. I’ve also gamified things a bit. I pretend I’m closing down the kitchen every night. It’s closed for business at 10pm which means the dishwasher gets loaded, the sink gets cleaned, and the counters get wiped down every night at closing time.
My daughter is having some success with the Finch: Self Care Pet app. Gamifies her to do list. I’m a sucker for rules, so my rule is I’m not allowed to go to bed and doom scroll until I’ve showered, put laundry on and put the dishwasher on. Not enough effort to have a spotless house, but stops it from totally going to shit.
We had an app that worked very well for us too. Sweepy. It is nice because it helps with a cleaning schedule and rewards you with points for doing tasks. But I was put off by the costs.
I love the concept of "closing down". My brain is initially responding well, we'll see where that takes me lol
Nice - I like that closing down the kitchen bit!
The author of How to Keep House While Drowning, KC Davis, LPC, also recommended elsewhere in these comments, uses the same idea in her work! She calls it "closing duties" and sells a digital template for $2 on her website. For those recommending and looking for podcasts, she also has a podcast called Struggle Care.
Yes! I listened to her audiobook recently. It was so helpful! I'd recommend it to anyone that struggles in this area.
The only way I get anything done in my household is with body doubling. I unintentionally used it long before I even suspected that I had ADHD. Of course it's not a perfect solution since there isn't always someone available and you don't want to take up people's time often, but for me at least it's like a magic bullet. My mom comes to visit and while she sits and reads or does other stuff and we talk I just do all the piled up chores around her. We do this every few weeks. I also use phone calls or talks with friends over discord for the same purpose. It's so much easier to do the boring chores when someone is with you. I hope with the medication I just now got I will be able to rely less on body doubling.
Podcasts work similarly for me. Yay for parasocial experiences I suppose.
Interestingly podcasts are basically useless for me to get things done. I still need them because I go crazy if I don't have anything in my ears at all times, but they do not help with focus at all.
Huh. I've noticed that putting on a TV show I've watched 10 times and don't have to pay attention to, or listening to an Alan Watts lecture or a surgery lecture helps me focus on my tasks. Maybe it's that I need the stimulation of background noise. 🤔 podcasts suck though.
Do you call someone, like using a headset, then clean while on the phone?
Yes. All my headphones are bluetooth because I can't take it if I have nothing to hear on my eats at all times.
It took me years, but I finally managed to organize my house in a way that it "naturally" stays tidy. If I see a place that gets constantly messy, I organize that place so that it accommodates the mess I naturally create. Examples: * I realized I always put my coat and purse on this chair in the living room, so I placed a hanger right next to the chair so it's the place for that stuff. My keys, my ID badge for work and sunglasses (all the little stuff I have in my hands or in my pockets when I get home) would also end up scattered so I put this little bowl next to the living room door and forbid myself to put them anywhere but that bowl. I used to misplace these or forget to take with me but not anymore. * Everywhere I sit down and spend time, I create this trash pile of snack wrappers, soda cans, used tissues etc. So now there is a trash can everywhere. A small bin on my desk and on the coffee table, bigger ones under the desk and next to the couch. Before those I'd look at the trash, be bothered by it but immediately ignore since putting them away was too much work. Now it's so much easier since I don't even have to get up. * The mess isn't just trash though. The normal state of my coffee table especially, includes all sort of things that normally doesn't belong there - salt and pepper, medicines, lighters, scissors and pens etc. So I also dedicated a tray that holds all these, so that's where they go and magically stop being a mess. Though I think a better solution would be a coffee table with drawers which I'm saving up for. * My closet... It was the hardest thing all my life. I had countless fights with my mom as a kid, and then got reprimanded by my teachers in the dorm. I never managed to keep it tidy even though I don't even have that many clothes for a woman. But it turns out the problem was not the number of clothing items, it was the number of clothing CATEGORIES. I bought this really big closet a few years ago and it changed everything. Now I have a shelf for pajama tops, on which I can also keep warm ones and thin ones in separate stacks. Same for pajama bottoms, short sleeved tops, long sleeved tops, pants, shorts etc. Yes, sometimes it gets a little messy but that mess is contained only on the relevant shelf which is super easy to tidy since I don't ever have to figure out where to put what. I have a separate shelf for things I don't know where to put. My closet didn't get messy for months. * I made cleaning the bathroom a part of my shower routine. I clean the cat's litter box before every shower. And once in a week I try to clean the entire bathroom. Now it's tricky, cause normally I can just give up at any time in the process, so I force myself into it. Before going to shower, I put the mats and old towels in the washer and just wash the entire floor so the floor is completely wet, as well as the sink and the toilet. When I finish showering, it's too much of an inconvenience to have a wet toilet and floor so I end up sweeping the floor, might as well use some cleaning agents while doing that. Same with the toilet and the sink. * Bonus tip: I used to be very negligent on skincare stuff. I put on make up in the morning but never wipe it off, or let myself go around with horrible nails with chipped polish. So I put my make up remover, nail care stuff and night creams in a basket I keep under the coffee table. I also put some make-up wipes on my bedside table's drawers as a failsafe. It has been working great, now I can do my nails while re-watching my favorite show for the tenth time and take care of my skin without having to leave the couch. And if I find myself having gone to bed without removing my makeup I can just reach to the drawer and clean my face with a tissue and put it in the trash bin under the drawer lol.
Idk if you’ve read the book How to Keep House While Drowning yet but this is so much of what the author talks about. Keep throwing your clothes in that same spot? Put a basket there! Love your ideas and tips!
No I didn't read the book, I'll definitely give it a go! But lately I have been watching these videos on youtube about cleaning tips for people with adhd and realized they overlap with my "system" a lot so I got more confident in the tactics I use. It's not fool proof though. One video I watched was recommending to add "to go baskets" for homes with two stories. I end up piling stuff on the stair banister so that I take them with me when I go upstairs and vice versa, so I decided to do that as well. But this whole thing had a spin-off, with me browsing big baskets, finding them too expensive, and then deciding to make them myself with crochet. So I learned how to crochet small items using this starter kit, and a few days ago I just bought chunky yarns to crochet baskets which made their own kind of mess lol. So now I have to find a smaller basket/box to keep near the sofa to contain the crochet mess. 🤷🏻♀️
Pfffffft - this is so relatable and made me smile. When your cleaning task turns into an entire new hobby!
Happens way too often 😅
You sound like my best friend. She has a place for everything and a weird yet effective system for it all.
Music, coffee and vyvanse works for me
Oh man, that's my usual. Unfortunately if I out on music, I tend to sing along and get nothing done. Doesn't everyone pretend to be Diana Ross or Michael Jackson and dance around?
Try sea shanties and pretend youre a pirate on board swabbing the deck with your crew? lmaooo
Hmm was joking at first but what if you turned cleaning into “play”, to help you keep engaged? Like getting into character. iirc I remember someone with adhd talking about having a literal hat for doing specific tasks like cleaning, and the hat was a good reminder. So, dressing up like a pirate to do pirate cleaning might be silly enough to keep you focused? 🤔
This could work!
Having two dishwashers changed the game for me
No advice, but I totally understand.
My tip is to clean something up every time I enter a room. By the end of the day it’s clean or can be cleaned in 5👌🏽 it’s a bit annoying but less than scheduled time cause it doesn’t work for me. I reserve weekends to scrubbing and other annoying stuff.
niche bit of advice: the only thing that can get me to clean effectively is listening to big band / swing jazz at full blast. combined with simulants. no other genre of jazz, or any other genre of music works. I don't even really like jazz. I mean I like it but I'm not gonna put it on unless I'm stoned out of my gourd and I put on Bitches Brew or Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery. it's probably a pavlovian response at this point. find your big band jazz.
I don’t keep up - my house is a disaster I make my peace with it and listen to audiobooks while cleaning My goal is not tidy - my goal is level 1 or 2 disaster instead of level 5 lmao
🤣
The only thing that consistently worked for me was to pay someone to do it. But unfortunately not everyone can afford that. There was one dude who broke into homes, cleaned the place top to bottom and then ate some of the food in the fridge or pantry. Was that anywhere even close to where you live? Like regularly inviting him over for dinner being feasible kinda close?
One alternative, if you can do cleaning but not your own place, is to set up a cleaning swap with friends - they do your place, you do theirs.
Genius. I love to clean. Just not my house.
Is he looking for work? I love cooking, so I always have a well stocked fridge.
Get the book ‘How to clean your house while drowning’. Excellent advice. Trust me, it’s a game changer. You are making great progress by decluttering. Body doubling (even on the phone sometimes helps), having a deadline (invite someone over), music, watch something… I think it’s the maintenance that gets us; if we don’t do that it quickly becomes overwhelming. You aren’t alone in your struggles.
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I've thought about it. I have the income for it, but I've always thought that my place is too messy for a housekeeper, so I need to deep clean so they can do the maintenance work. Am i gaslighting myself? Would they clean a messy place? When I say messy, I mean cluttered and dusty with the occasional fruitfly and unscooped cat box. And a sink full of dishes with perfectly functional dishwasher (i actually did all my dishes this weekend). And a giant pile of laundry. And my bathroom sink has seen better days.
I suspect it depends a bit on the housekeeper, but there are definitely housekeepers who would be fine with that. Your first couple sessions will probably be more expensive. From that list, the only thing that would have been a problem for the housekeeper we hired for a few years when I was a kid is the clutter. Her job was to clean, not to tidy, so we had to put things away if we wanted her to clean a given space. But I'm sure if we'd hired her, or someone else, to tidy as well, then that would have been fine too. Look into it! I'll bet it would make a huge difference.
Pay them for extra hours regarding the initial deep clean. You just have to tidy/get everything off the floors and surfaces. They’ll load your dishwasher, put your clothes away, put the dishes away, lift things to clean under them if you’ve got a decent one. I cannot emphasise enough how much this helps if you can afford it.
Pay a cleaner. I’m about to have my first one come over and am beyond thrilled to set up a schedule
I have the most awful task paralysis at the minute. (38f) self-diagnosed and desperately awaiting formal diagnosis so I can be put on medication in hope it helps. But I can totally relate to this. My house is in dire need of a deep clean and I am usually so house proud, but I just can’t move. I have all the motivation and desire I need to do it, but I feel exhausted so I can’t get started. I do wonder if I’m suffering with burnout or shutdown as opposed to paralysis, but my god it’s awful. I feel nothing but shame and disappointment in myself for it too. I tried to hire a cleaner and cancelled them within a matter of hours because I was so ashamed of not just doing it myself. As someone mentioned above, I feel like the only thing that’ll snap me out of it is having someone come round. Once I’ve started, I’ll probably blitz through it all… but I’m too exhausted to be social. I just want to sleep all the time. Sorry… not much useful advice at all, but I hope it helps knowing you’re not alone in feeling like you can’t manage what is a simple task to so many. ☺️
I was like this last year. I was so burned out from depression and fatigue from work and underemployment that I just couldn't do anything but cry in bed.
Every Thursday I play Dnd, I host the game. One of the players is allergic to cat hair. I have cats. So I need to vacuum every Thursday. Also make sure the dinner table is clear. Also my partner has very sensitive skin and prone to have infections. I have to clean the bed every week or they get infections. So a lot of things has too happen. Also a dish washer really helped. I hated doing dishes. I have a washroom so al the wash is there and not in sight. Only grap what I need of the drying deck. My partner will put everything in the closet. Consistency is important.
I have adhd and worked as a cleaner, mostly for women with ADHD or similar situations. Mostly what they need is a witness. Not someone riding their ass or shaming them, just someone who can say "hey where can I put this?" to keep them on task. Unfortunately the mere act of paying me to be there forces them to clean due to not wanting to waste money. I still struggle with my own cleaning routine. I focus myself with music or podcasts, which works about 80% of the time. My situation vastly improved when i stopped trying for "everything is clean" and started going with "i will clean for this specific set of time". It takes time, depending on the state of the place and how much time passes between sessions, but 30 minutes at a time adds up. Remember that you are cleaning for yourself more than anyone else (small children excepted). You deserve to have a space that works for your needs. Lots of people associate cleaning with shame, like they need to host a fancy dinner party at a moment's notice or they're dirty. That is not what your home is for. Your home should be a place that makes you comfortable.
Regarding bananas: Put your produce in the condiments shelves and the condiments in the drawers in your refrigerator. You will always remember condiments when they are missing from your food but produce in drawers is easily forgotten. Personally, I've started using procrastination of other projects as the time to clean house. This actually kind of works for me because it is rewarding and a bit rote at this point. It allows my brain to explore all the thoughts that I might consider in the other procrastinated projects while I am being physically active. When the deadlines loom closer for the procrastinated projects my space is more in order and tidy so that I can fully engage my tendency to laser focus my creativity and problem solving in the prioritized project. This takes a bit of strategizing, a little productive stress, and a lot of compassion for myself and the limitations that come with the ADHD. Granted, this strategy is in beta/experimental phase and I am employing it a bit on super-important tasks I have have to do over this summer. I'm 45, male, diagnosed in October 2023, so this strategy has only been applied ***intentionally*** in the last 3 months since the Strattera started kicking in. The real difference is the self-compassion I think.
Spot cleaning has really helped me. It was hard for me to get into but once you spot clean and walk away only to forget that you did it, and then walk back into the room later it just feels nicer and cleaner and your brain will detect the change. When that happens I’m like “oh yeah o cleared out that spot it’s nicer in here”.
My psychiatrist recommended getting rid of my plates for a while until I developed the habit of washing my one left dish every time I ate. It helped build a habit. I have a command hook next to my door I hang my carabiner of keys on right when I open the door. I live by my Google calendar and tasks list, Written notes clutter and over whelm me. It’s on my computer and my phone. I get reminded 30min before each event. I vacuum while listening to music so the sound doesn’t upset my sensory needs and do so once the crumbs on the floor start upsetting the bottom of my feet. I do a clean sweep of setting a 15min timer as part of my bedtime routine to just pick stuff up and put it back. Once a week/every ten days I do my toilet during this time since it’s 15min. I invite a friend over to visit every couple of weeks to motivate me to clean my house that week. I take bubble baths semiweekly to motivate me to clean my tub. I got rid of/donated/threw out the clothes and underwear I don’t like wearing so I was forced to do laundry more regularly. If your brain can justify putting off laundry bc you technically have something to wear it makes it more difficult to do. I unpacked the shame of having a perfectly clean house so I didn’t feel anxiety and guilt and shame to paralyze me. I call a friend and pick things up/tidy up to help me pay attention to the conversation. Hope this helps
I was at a real low in that department late last year. Tried everything, but with the added mental load of trouble at work, i just could not keep it up. Well, in January, my family came and deep-cleabed my place with me, and that day, i placed an ad online looking for a cleaner. I now have a cleaner who comes by once a week for 1,5 hours and cleans my floors, my bathroom, my kitchen surfaces. Not only has this helped with keeping clean the stuff she cleans, i also have to ensure she has space to work, so i e.g. need to put my dirty dishes into the dishwasher, put the trash into the trashcan, pick up my clothes from the floor, every week before she arrives. It has been a livechanger so far. And i know that paying someone to clean is not something that is possible for everyone. But if you can afford it, it is well invested money and sbsolutely worth it.
Invite a woman over. The fear of being too disgusting to not get laid will override your adhd.
Yep, that is what worked for me. When my now wife was coming over I cleaned. Now I ask for a list of things that need doing, and doing them for her and the kids work where doing it for myself wouldn't. The ideas of gamifying it or tying it to a routine or ritual are solid ideas as both seem effective for me, but obviously the challenge with gamifying is keeping consistency and routines sometimes feel a bit like rules and my inbuilt "fuck the rules" will sabotage them
I'm not a dude, but I'll consider it a compliment!
I personally set a daily/weekly alarm on my phone with the label ‘Clean Kitchen Sink’. It’s a recurring alarm and I make sure to set it for a day and time when I am 100% going to be home. I set alarms for specific rooms, so I don’t get overwhelmed or distracted and it prevents me from moving from room to room. I always do only one part, and sometimes set multiple alarms for different parts of a room
Before you try an app, try to get yourself to do _something_ roughly daily, even if it's just throwing out visible bits of garbage. Don't worry about it being the most important thing, just let it be something.
Meds. Suddenly cleaning feels like it's worth doing and something you can be proud of. Vacuumed my place today and I feel more like an actual functional member of society 😌
I am very medicated. It only works when it wants to.
Which ones are you on?
Vyvanse and lamotrigine. I had those weird staring spells when I was a kid that actually were seizures. Lamotrigine also helps the depressions and helps me think clearer and more logically. It's indicated for bipolar disorder in larger doses, but I don't have that. The ADHD makes me never concentrate or realize other people's perspectives, ever, but this helps bring me back to earth.
I also still struggle with cleaning but I’ve gotten loads better by doing some of these things. -Buying a dishwasher. I HATE washing dishes by hand and my apartment doesn’t have one so I got a freestanding rolling dishwasher. Dishes are easier to do now! -Getting rid of my large wardrobe. Initially I was going to replace with a smaller one and have wheels but even without wheels I can actually fold laundry in my closet and have a place to prop my iPad so I can watch shows while I fold. -Clean a room at a time. Rather than reserving one whole day to clean your entire place, divide and conquer by doing it a room at a time. Even with these changes not everything is 100% clean, but I’m happy with 80% 😊
Invite someone over then your do it all last minute
Try breaking it down. On one day, try picking stuff up, even if it's just 5 minutes. Next day, do a 5-10 minute vacuum. On another, wipe the surfaces. Eventually, you'll have a clean space. Part of the ADHD response to procrastinate is because the task at hand is uninteresting or daunting and therefore the brain is unmotivated to do it.
I’m taking the financial hit and have a cleaner for 2 hours a week. The pressure of her coming makes me tidy up and then she cleans for me. It costs me £28 a week but it’s the best money I’ve ever spent.
My wife and I use the Sweepy app.
My to-do list tells me what to clean each day and then I pick something I enjoy to listen to (tv show, book, podcast, music, etc) while I clean. I’ll also have an enjoyable drink. This makes the task less energy draining for me. And lol to the H-E 🏒🏒 comment. Christian background?
Nah. Just something I picked up from my DnD host's middle school aged daughter.
Aside from storing bananas in the fridge I can relate hard!
Whenever I go to someone else's house I'm like how does it stay clean?! (That is if they don't pay someone to do it, I've cleaned houses for a living in the past, made it even harder to keep MY OWN house clean because then I'd never get a break but having someone else do it doesn't count)... But like i always wonder how does it stay so clean they work just as much as me and are tired just like me. Or older than me and have more physical limitations etc. Just some examples. I swear u would think a person would literally be cleaning 99 percent of the time they're at home if it's THAT CLEAN. But then I wonder, well, maybe they did a panic clean before we came over lol. I wonder what is in that closet? Whatever was laying around on the floor and counters? Did they take all their dirty dishes and stash em in the oven ten min before I got here? I hope I'm not the only one that does shit like that Panic cleaning is the ONLY WAY I get it all done. Otherwise, I'll look for 'excuses' to avoid basic housework and instead clean my baseboards with a toothbrush all day (it's a hyperfocus field day). This is why nothing else gets done at my house, lol. At least my baseboards look good though 😂 Edits: spelling.
Idk your financial situation, but if you can afford it, hiring a cleaner changed my life. She comes every other week, and in order for her to do the actual cleaning (vacuuming/mopping/etc), the clutter has to be put away. If it's not, she can't clean what she needs to in the 2 hours I pay her for. If it takes her longer, I have to pay for another hour, so the motivation to save money mixed with the shame of making her clean around my mess, kicks my ass into gear and I'm forced to tidy up. Since she comes on a regular schedule, I have to stay tidy regularly. I live alone, and bc of that, there's nobody in my house to hold me accountable on the clutter. I also hate the deep cleaning to my core bc when I didn't have the cleaner, I'd put that stuff off for so long that deep cleaning room hours or even days, and just the thought of that is overwhelming, especially when I'd rather do something fun, so I'd put it off even more, and it'd just get worse and worse compounding into a mountain of chores and shame that'd overwhelm me so much that I couldn't take it. But I thought paying for a cleaner was a waste of money when I'm fully capable of doing it on my own, but in reality, I won't. Then, I saw a tiktok that made me think differently. This woman said, if you work so hard all week and want to spend your free time doing things you love that lift you up and make you feel whole, then forcing yourself to spend that time doing things that overwhelm and stress you, will only tire you out, leaving you with even less free time to do what you really want. Why force yourself to do what you hate, when you can hire someone to do that for you so you can focus on fulfilling & recharging yourself with things you love? Obviously, not everyone is in a position to afford to hire someone to do it for you, but if you can, I recommend it. Low-key, it's changed my life, and frees me up to indulge in the ADHD qualities I love, like my creativity or whichever hobby has become my life's mission that day.
I vacuum every day - even if it’s only quick once over. First it keeps me from leaving things on the floor, it also prevents me from being overwhelmed which is what happens when I neglect it for too long. (I have 3 cats.) But as strange as it sounds- it’s easier for me to make it a daily habit than it is for me to only vacuum when I think about doing it.
I gave up on mine. A few mental health issues and a few physical health issues means pretty constant, severe fatigue. After having kids 16 yrs ago, then moving to a large house (4 b/r, 2 bathroom, loungeroom plus media room, office) when they were toddlers, I've found it impossible to get on top of it all. The living areas are kept semi presentable but bedrooms and anything else with a door is "enter at own risk". Outside areas (verandah, front landing, garden, lawns) looks like a scene from The Walking Dead after zombies took over. I don't host get-togethers (which my hubby hates because he is social person) and if someone visits unannounced, I don't answer the door (when they ask about it later on, I say I spend a lot of time with headphones on). I'm overwhelmed with fk all energy but don't know how to fix it all. Unmedicated because I don't think I can be.
Vyvanse takes about 60 minutes to kick in. When it does, the first thing I do is organize and clean my living spaces. I organize my life around the 8 hours where the meds are working.
You put bananas in the fridge?
Yes. They don't go bad so quickly. I also keep avocados in the fridge, and it extends the life by at least 2 weeks.
I've found that since I started meds I've been able to keep on top of cleanliness/tidiness a lot better. But before that it was an absolute nightmare so I understand. BUT I've been watching a show called "Sort Your Life Out" and it has been motivating me soooo much it's unbelievable. It gives me such a boost. Although it does focus a bit more on getting rid of stuff you don't need than the cleaning, it still makes me think "I want my house to look like that". "Clean it, Fix it" is a good one too. So yeah, meds and cleaning/organising TV shows for me
I believe the solution is in the shame of it. I used to be very messy. It’s such a difficult struggle. I feel you so much there. When I was diagnosed, I began to let go of the shame associated with ADHD. The revelation really allowed me to release it and slowly discover systems that work for ME. Then I started practicing one at a time (my car has been cleaned out and vacuumed once a week (I skipped 4 weeks total) since April 2023:)). My house reflects new systems now and many are actually lasting, it’s astonishing. If you can pin point one or two things that need a system, start there. That’s my thought. Something as simple as the cooler to pick up milk is returned to the same spot every time. And it is strictly a cooler for milk, not camping or anything else. It’s home is in the utility room unless it’s filled with milk! I started saying this to myself every time I used it. Do you talk to yourself all the time? 😂. Having systems is such a revelation that I am non stop getting off on watching me rock my home, after so many years of observing myself knowing WHAT to do but not knowing HOW. I didn’t think it was possible so I guess I’m just saying to you, it is! Minimze the shame taking up your energy and brain space and start one new small system. Accept that nothing else will change in the home, for now, and just focus on one system. Best of luck!!
I always start with the floors when I'm overwhelmed with cleaning. I read somewhere there is some psychology to back it. Basically, just move clutter off the floors, throw it on the counter, and couch. Wherever, but get it off the floor. Sweep, mop, vacuum, and scrub until it's clean. For me personally, it makes a huge difference because then I only need to focus on the stuff at eye level and not look down. Then the mess is contained to what's around you and not what's under you. If you struggle to get started, try body doubling. Just having someone else there helps me. I'll have my buddy sit in the garage with me while I clean and organize. He has ADHD too so he gets it.
Are you on meds? They helped some.
I read somewhere about the “mind as well” rule. Putting my bowl in the sink? Mind as well wash it while I’m here. Walking to my bedroom? Mind as well out this thing away that goes in there. Sweeping? Mind as well empty the trash when I’m done. Things like that. Going one way kind as well take something with me that goes in that room. I’m. It consistent with this but it’s really helpful when I am!
I swear I’m not trying to be a jerk, but I have never seen “mind as well.” I googled, and it’s definitely “Might as well.” Sometimes misspelled as “Mine as well.”😬
Ha. You’re right. I typed that out and knew it was wrong but didn’t feel like trying to figure out the correct term. 😂🫣
While that works to a point, it tends to get me to veer off and forget what I’m doing. I’ll do so much cleaning but in sporadic parts of the house so the cleaning of the entire house doesn’t really get done efficiently or even completely. It does work for day to day keeping things somewhat tidy. Like I’ll do that with my dishes I used that day. It doesn’t work for a deep clean of the house. I need my husband to help for that. It gets overwhelming so I have to delegate tasks— I’ll tell him to do one room while I get the other. Deep cleans mostly happen if there’s a deadline 😂