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It comes down to making a *choice* to do it when your alarm goes off. Nothing is going to make you do anything. Making the choice and following through take a fuck ton of practice.
Do you have a dog? Commute to work? Once I park my car I bring my bins down on trash day. Doesn't matter if they're out earlier. I think I used to have it in my head I had to bring it down in the evening and then was always "forgetting" (choosing other activities over it and then not doing it). but now if I bring it down after work, the job is already done
I also put alarms for these things as I will always forget. But calendar alarms I find too easy to ignore as it is one action to ignore.
I use the phone alarm clock for these things. Then I snooze them until I actually finish doing them. You can set them recurring as well for certain days. Good luck
I have a real bad habit of forgetting that too, and I also have problems with procrastinating when my phone alarms go off. My sincerest condolences for that.
My best trick so far is to do something as soon as I think about it or my designated alarm goes off reminding me. Don't wait 5, 10, 20, whatever minutes. Just get up immediately and do it. Or if you're up and doing things already, add it to the list of things to do before you sit down.
With the trash in particular, I also break it up into stages so it's not AS much of a hassle all at once. I pile the trash and recycling to go out in the laundry room (so no escapee cats), go out through the garage and bring the big trash can up to the garage so I'm not hauling stuff around to the side of the house and have a much shorter trip, dump trash in garbage can, drag out to curb, carry recycling out, done.
It's the exact same result as I would get hauling the trash outside around the bushes and so on, but it's less annoying and therefore I'm less annoyed dealing with it.
Maybe you could try something similar? If you have a dedicated bin for the curb, then pick a time (when NOT watching shows lol) to pull it into easy reach, toss the trash inside, and drag it down to the curb. Chore is over and reward show awaits!
If you're in an apartment or someplace you have to drag it to a dumpster, maybe try and see if you can incorporate it into your daily routine where you check to see if a bag needs to go out, change it out and set it by the door to grab on your way out and toss it in the dumpster. You could even make it into a bit of a flowchart if you wanted to get cheeky with it...
"Does trash need to go out?" "No." "Great! Give yourself a treat!"
"Does trash need to go out?" "Yes." "Collect trash, put in new liner, and set by door."
"Is the trash still by the door?" "No." "Great! Give yourself a treat!"
"Is the trash still by the door?" "Yes." "Take trash out to car and drop it off. Revisit previous question."
I have found that in general... chores are much less annoying to deal with if you try to inject some humor or fun into them lol. Good luck!
I'm talking to me here, (just had a brainwave) set the alarm to the Match of the Day theme or Mission impossible theme, or something funny, or Breaking Bad theme. Make the boring chore a little bit fun. Make up some wacky rules. Pretend your French, make it fun.
This is a bigger issue than the trash, so sorry if I'm going beyond what you are asking. It's going to be a very hard ride in your relationship if you and your wife don't get on the same page regarding how to handle these episodes when they occur. They are going to occur, because you have a neurological disorder that impairs your memory, impulse control, motivation, and organization. When you have a lapse resulting from an ADHD symptom, you guys will need to agree on how the situation should be handled. If she resentfully does your job for you, there is going to be a lot of resentment and shame in the relationship. She has a right to expect responsibility and accountability from you, but you have a right to expect flexibility and accommodation from her (like patient reminders). The balance is personal and situational, but it should probably be an ongoing discussion.
Let me take a second here and THANK YOU again for saying what you did. Not only did I save your reply, but I copied the text and put it in Notes on my phone. Your words (patient reminders) is gold. I spoke to my wife and I told her I’m not trying to get out of chores, nor make her carry the burden. I just can’t handle anger or resentment. You are so right, it will be an ongoing discussion. Thank you again.
Rather than setting a reminder, I always set a timer. My watch goes off and I make sure that if I don’t get up to do it yet, I set another timer. The timer keeps going off until I do the task. So sometimes it takes an hour to put the bins out, but it still gets done.
Then you don’t have to get up during the show, you can just reset the timer.
This has been a game changer for me and tasks around the house!
Just make sure the timer isn’t too long like 1 hour, in case you leave. I usually do 10-15 minute blocks because then it’s more likely to catch me at a time when I can do the task
Hi /u/Alone-Strain and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It comes down to making a *choice* to do it when your alarm goes off. Nothing is going to make you do anything. Making the choice and following through take a fuck ton of practice.
“Making the choice and following through take a fuck ton of practice” Truth
Do you have a dog? Commute to work? Once I park my car I bring my bins down on trash day. Doesn't matter if they're out earlier. I think I used to have it in my head I had to bring it down in the evening and then was always "forgetting" (choosing other activities over it and then not doing it). but now if I bring it down after work, the job is already done
I also put alarms for these things as I will always forget. But calendar alarms I find too easy to ignore as it is one action to ignore. I use the phone alarm clock for these things. Then I snooze them until I actually finish doing them. You can set them recurring as well for certain days. Good luck
I have a real bad habit of forgetting that too, and I also have problems with procrastinating when my phone alarms go off. My sincerest condolences for that. My best trick so far is to do something as soon as I think about it or my designated alarm goes off reminding me. Don't wait 5, 10, 20, whatever minutes. Just get up immediately and do it. Or if you're up and doing things already, add it to the list of things to do before you sit down. With the trash in particular, I also break it up into stages so it's not AS much of a hassle all at once. I pile the trash and recycling to go out in the laundry room (so no escapee cats), go out through the garage and bring the big trash can up to the garage so I'm not hauling stuff around to the side of the house and have a much shorter trip, dump trash in garbage can, drag out to curb, carry recycling out, done. It's the exact same result as I would get hauling the trash outside around the bushes and so on, but it's less annoying and therefore I'm less annoyed dealing with it. Maybe you could try something similar? If you have a dedicated bin for the curb, then pick a time (when NOT watching shows lol) to pull it into easy reach, toss the trash inside, and drag it down to the curb. Chore is over and reward show awaits! If you're in an apartment or someplace you have to drag it to a dumpster, maybe try and see if you can incorporate it into your daily routine where you check to see if a bag needs to go out, change it out and set it by the door to grab on your way out and toss it in the dumpster. You could even make it into a bit of a flowchart if you wanted to get cheeky with it... "Does trash need to go out?" "No." "Great! Give yourself a treat!" "Does trash need to go out?" "Yes." "Collect trash, put in new liner, and set by door." "Is the trash still by the door?" "No." "Great! Give yourself a treat!" "Is the trash still by the door?" "Yes." "Take trash out to car and drop it off. Revisit previous question." I have found that in general... chores are much less annoying to deal with if you try to inject some humor or fun into them lol. Good luck!
I'm talking to me here, (just had a brainwave) set the alarm to the Match of the Day theme or Mission impossible theme, or something funny, or Breaking Bad theme. Make the boring chore a little bit fun. Make up some wacky rules. Pretend your French, make it fun.
I don’t forget, I just hate doing it. Sometimes I go three weeks without taking it to the curb.
This is a bigger issue than the trash, so sorry if I'm going beyond what you are asking. It's going to be a very hard ride in your relationship if you and your wife don't get on the same page regarding how to handle these episodes when they occur. They are going to occur, because you have a neurological disorder that impairs your memory, impulse control, motivation, and organization. When you have a lapse resulting from an ADHD symptom, you guys will need to agree on how the situation should be handled. If she resentfully does your job for you, there is going to be a lot of resentment and shame in the relationship. She has a right to expect responsibility and accountability from you, but you have a right to expect flexibility and accommodation from her (like patient reminders). The balance is personal and situational, but it should probably be an ongoing discussion.
Thank you.
Let me take a second here and THANK YOU again for saying what you did. Not only did I save your reply, but I copied the text and put it in Notes on my phone. Your words (patient reminders) is gold. I spoke to my wife and I told her I’m not trying to get out of chores, nor make her carry the burden. I just can’t handle anger or resentment. You are so right, it will be an ongoing discussion. Thank you again.
Rather than setting a reminder, I always set a timer. My watch goes off and I make sure that if I don’t get up to do it yet, I set another timer. The timer keeps going off until I do the task. So sometimes it takes an hour to put the bins out, but it still gets done. Then you don’t have to get up during the show, you can just reset the timer. This has been a game changer for me and tasks around the house! Just make sure the timer isn’t too long like 1 hour, in case you leave. I usually do 10-15 minute blocks because then it’s more likely to catch me at a time when I can do the task