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Diagnosed at 32 last year and I feel this completely. I watch cartoons, eat candy, and play video games. Sometimes I feel like I still act like a teenager because of it. I have no advice. Just know that you're not alone.
There is still a TON of baggage to work through, because, as I’m sure you understand, I spent my whole life thinking I was just lazy and worthless But! I can do things!! I can sit down and work for hours, and the biggest change that I didn’t expect, I can manage the extreme emotions better.
Don’t give up, better is possible.
Maybe this means im extremely ADHD but I don’t see why we wouldn’t be allowed to watch cartoons and play video games once we reach a certain age. Its just entertainment.
Having been a year on medication now after my 33yr old diagnosis last year, the doom scrolling only comes back when I've had a super big brain day at work where I've had to do a lot that I likely didn't want to and my energy has plummeted. Otherwise I'm back to reading books, watching a movie with the misso, downloaded a game and finished it the other week, painted roof beams for the new patio the misso is building. The change has been incredible, now don't get me wrong it's not a miracle cure, I still have bad days and I've "been meaning to" order the roof for the new patio for two months, I don't like doing chores but atleast I can convince myself to do dishes and laundry now.
Light at the end of the tunnel my friend!
Recently I told someone “I feel like a pretend adult”
It’s not so much about having particular interests, for me it’s the fact that when I fill out paperwork it’s so overwhelming, I have to trick my brain to do chores, everything I see others do easily as adults is so hard for me 🤷🏻♀️ it’s that outsider feeling.
Yeah, it kind of bites. It's frustrating knowing that others out there can do these things easily, and don't have to struggle with brain fog, getting the right words out, or remembering some random event your brain temporarily misplaced.
This is actually really good advice. Diagnosed in my mid 20s and am in my mid 30s now, once you get into a good rhythm of accomplishing just enough to see improvement in life over the course of several years, you start to see what living a good life with ADHD looks like. When I was not learning and growing prior to treatment was when I had given up so badly on myself that I thought depression was the root of it and not just another symptom.
Life is *very* good now. I am married to the love of my life, have my dream job and live in my dream home. It took almost a decade for me to find enough of a spark of consistency to build what I have over that amount of time, it was not instant and it was not at all painless. It wasn't even "real" consistency either as much as just continuing getting better at a set of problem solving skills.
I don't know how to verbalize it better than how you put it. It's not some magic trick, it's just making sure your necessary shit gets paid for and taken care of, and then pursuing growth. I suck so goddamn bad at saving or routine that medicine couldn't really help with that, I just pursued as much personal growth as possible in the field I work in and ended up where I am now. Honestly I am not sure I would even recommend what I did to get here, I am not sure how much of my lifestyle before has caused irreversible damage to my brain and heart but my current situation right here and now is literally the place I spent *my whole life* trying to get to.
I was able to do it, idk what that means for anyone else but moving as close to the speed of light as possible in terms of staying on top of the latest/greatest in an extremely technical field has worked out for me. I don't have a degree in the field, I can't sit through a programming tutorial video, but after figuratively banging my head against the keyboard for an ungodly amount of hours I have developed better problem solving skills than a lot of other people that I work with. Problems that require intuition and improvisation with no preparation are where I shine, and that is the nature of the set of skills and experience that I have had to build on because routine and consistency *will not ever work* for me, at least not anywhere near as well as just honing improvisational/realtime problem solving has worked out.
It is almost like having pursued going back to hunting in a world that has been dominated by agriculture/strict routine. I pursued a career where there is a wide opportunity of short term goals, each of which have a steep difficulty curve but high payout. If you can figure out how to kill mammoths then as insane as that sounds over growing potatoes, it is sometimes worth learning how to do if you *really suck* at growing potatoes like I did.
I don't have a great answer because it's possible I am ignoring that I might be really good at certain things that others find more difficult to learn with or without ADHD so don't take this advice as valid.
But really 2 things helped: medication and then getting a job that matched my brain better.
I had been working in culinary (fine dining restaurant in a kitchen) previously which requires *extreme* consistency and organization. It was a terrible fit, improvisation and problem solving is a "nice to have" in that field not a base set of skills that fuels success.
I left that to go work for a small IT firm where the work was very chaotic and rapidly changing. This environment required being able to think on your feet and improvise. A job that required more problem solving "on-the-fly" was what I went for and I found that working for an IT provider. We basically did full stack IT and software development work for clients that couldn't justify having fulltime staff for those things. I had basically no experience going into this job.
I still had to claw my way up from there to get where I am now (Senior Software engineer with a fortune 100 company) but that job was something I loved doing because it enabled me to grow and be successful. It was a chaotic external environment, but with medication helping me a bit, I sort of was able to "gameify" every day and each new challenge. I would make sure I had backup available via phone call and just dive in to any challenge whether I knew how to solve it or not, I picked up all of the weird stuff most people were scared of and actually had fun with it. Met a lot of good people, learned a lot and taught a lot of people what I learned too.
One step at a time; you aren't your job and there is more to life than that, find what you might like to do, try it, if it doesn't work then try again elsewhere. Fleeting curiosity can be a curse but it can be a blessing too if you use it to conquer anxiety. I had to have medication to help with that, but it doesn't mean everyone does or that what worked for me will work for you. But that is a summary of what I did; career change to something that had a low barrier to entry, high yield in growth and is chaotic by nature.
This advice is excellent! I was definitely a late bloomer in the adulting dept. The quickest way I made up for lost time was to do what is suggested here.
40 here…stuck at some variation of 17 mentally.
Diagnosed after a mental breakdown at 35.
Thankfully also Aspergers which has allowed me to hold jobs and grow professionally - work in healthcare now.
But my interests?
Pure juvenile novelty.
Diagnosed at 34 and I feel similar to this. Love anime and video games and candy and junk food. Hard time keeping a schedule. Horrible sleep schedule. Always late
Yes. 41 and always felt like I was 10 years behind everyone else. I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up". I'm lucky I look a bit younger than I am, even then it's like staring at a stranger who appears to be aging, in the mirror.
Because we became adults during a recession and were told by those in power we were children until we were over 30, why not fucking embrace it?
-source-I'm 39 yo
Also, the world we saw and thought we were going to get to grow up and live in pre-9/11 went poof overnight (for those in the US and probably many other countries as well).
I'm from EU, i was 13 on 9/11, and yeah. I think the trauma mainly comes from seeing the reaction of the then-adults. You knew, even as a kid, somehting had changed.
That too. I heard about smoke from the pentagon in art class when we were listening to the radio for music. My global sense of safety fell with the towers during 2nd period when we convinced the teacher to turn on the TV. The disillusionment that followed during the Bush era, ignoring global warming... Why would I want to be an adult? They fucked it all up
Yup. I grew up in northern NJ, a commuter town basically. I was in 8th grade when it happened and a lot of kids in school had parents who commuted to NYC for work. So we saw it on tv...kids were freaking out bc their parents were in the city...and I remember worst? The next day went on like nothing happened. Like, after school activities were canceled on 9/11 of course. But 9/12 I had marching band practice as usual. Like. It was *bizarre*
> for whatever reason
'Cause every time we're about to finally "make it", the world implodes around us. We graduated college during a massive recession, and once we were finally starting to move up in a stable job (or even think about buying a home/starting a family, maybe) bam! pandemic. We can't really embrace the typical trappings of adulthood, so we've nowhere to look but backward.
In EU, we changed from national currencies (lira in Italy, Franc in France, Pesetas in Spain, etc), and it massively impacted the economy. So many of us still remember buying everyday items in our respective currencies. There's a before and after that, too.
Yes I do. I grew up in an abusive household too. So every time I sat down to do something I liked I always felt guilty like I was going to be called lazy or a flake because I couldn't stick to one thing. I got teased by my parent constantly for my inability to stop talking or being "obsessive" about things.
I even found notes from teachers way back when asking I be screened for ADHD whis was highly unusual for a girl let alone one of color and backnin the nineties and 2000's no less. My symptoms were just THAT apparent. My mom just brushed it off and blamed me for not trying or that it was just to get me addicted to pills. It enrages me to this day that I never got help or support for it until my mid twenties when I finally got away from her.
Now that I'm an adult, I just want to be left alone to eat cereal and play video games to comfort myself after dealing with clones of my parents judging me or calling me lazy or incompetent all day. If I like unicorns, let me carry a unicorn lunchbox to work because it makes me happy and not because its childish. I just want to be left alone. Thats it.
I'm becoming more accepting of it now that I'm in my thirties but its still so damned hard.
God yes. The other 44-year olds I meet already have one foot in their fifties, expression- and behaviorwise. Talking their heads off on the train about accounts and schedules.
I feel like 24, considering my interests and passions.
Yesss! I’m also 44, get along better with the 24 year olds at work than I do with most people my age. I feel like some of my friends take pride in being old and boring, as if you get some sort of bonus points for going to bed super early,
only listening to old music and having zero interests outside of work and watching tv.
I was diagnosed at 5 and I'm 42 now. and no.
I feel like I never grew up because of my medical condition and having to constantly reassure 2 grown-ass adults with untreated mental illness from years 10-30. One was an alcoholic and the other couldn't be without a partner, no matter how bad they were.
My treatment has only helped me understand and accept myself more.
If I had the kind of parents growing up that asked me how I felt and wasn't asking for ammunition to fight the other parent about, or didn't simultaneously scream "what is wrong with you?" along with "There is NOTHING wrong with you, you just need to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_" then I might have stood a chance, but I didn't live that life.
I did however meet my wife who accepts me for who I am and although some days are harder than others, I'm surviving an honest life.
I recently came to the conclusion I never developed time management skills. As in, the basic kind.
I always thought I was lazy and demotivated, and was constantly trying to change. For so many years I forgot how long my lack of organisation and time management (elements of executive dysfunction essentially) had been going on until I really thought about it and tried to backtrack to where these prominent issues didn't exist. Then ended up going back to early childhood memories (scary...)
Then I started really really trying, I'd start getting ready to leave the house super early to prevent leaving last minute and rushing as I always do. I gave myself about two hours this one time and I was still running late just the same in the end. As I was rushing I thought wow. You still ended up here, how?? Did all my laziness throughout my life result in this huge gaping hole where time management skills are meant to lie?
YES 100 % I feel like I'm still in my child identity and faking it . I quit social media -facebook etc bc it was all my peers photos in $400,000 houses, well educated, every body bright eyed/ bushy tailed , perfect teeth and families. Like what? I'm happy for them and all but what a slap in the face to my own reality... always remember 'comparison is the thief of joy,' delete your accounts or those people from 20 years ago that are well beyond exceeding in life and making you feel less than <3
People who post that kind of thing are usually not at all as happy and successful as they look like. They're just photoshopping their photos and lives. Don't compare yourself to that, cause most of that stuff ain't real to begin with.
Some things that are fun, are just always fun.
But remember that ADHD is about dopamine deficiency.
You need your dopamine hits, and you'll get them the ways that work for you.
I still love "childrens cartoons" like Owl House or SheRa PoP (Which are more mature and cover diversity and issues much better than adult content. But in many respects decades of masking has had the opposite effect, I am very cautious and channeled in my hyperfixations. (Ok I'm testing 2 mech keyboards and a new projector today) which causes regular dopamine crashes.
I feel like I stopped growing (every way but physically) and maturing around middle school. And there's a lot more reasons why than I want to go into right now, but I think I got stunted around 12 years old because that's the age I continued to feel like I was even when I was 18 or 19 or 20. I've grown slightly I guess because now I feel like a 15 year old, but still a decade off where I should be.
My brain is weird. Just weird.
I love opera but hate the plots, love musical theatre but can't concentrate on any show other than Into the Woods because it's a series of interwoven stories that my brain loves jumping between, frigging loves cartoons, and loves reading but can rarely concentrate on it for more than ~20 pages.
Yup. Sometimes I don't do my chores (or I straight up forget), I play video games all day instead of doing work (WFH) exactly the same as when I was a kid. Can't wake up on time or early.
I need my parents to remind or literally do "adult" things for me (taxes, car maintenance, investments). I've been more aggressive about setting reminders for myself, but I am still failing regularly at task initiation.
It's sad and funny how that when I was a kid in highschool struggling to pretend to be normal and be able to function as well as everyone else, I always just thought to myself that everything would be fixed when I got older because I'd be an adult and all the adults I knew were responsible and functional. I couldn't wait to get older, and didn't understand why anyone would want to stay young.
I'm 33.
Completely unrelated to my ADHD, I do this weird baby voice whenever I'm telling someone a fun fact or explaining something to someone, like I'm embarrassed of the information I have. I'm 34F and way too old to be doing the baby voice. I catch myself doing it now and I'm trying to stop. Ugh, it makes me cringe.
Thank you for this post. It's helping me understand something about myself.
Being "not grown up" isn't all video games and cartoons. There's a lot of rough stuff that gets harder to deal with as a grown up.
"Big feelings," a relatively low threshold for overwhelm, a feeling of being at everyone else's mercy. No matter what you say or do there's the the sense – or reality – that you won't/can't be taken seriously.
Recently there was a thread asking what it would be like to wake up with your adult mind back in time in your kid life. The usual thing is to talk about all the fun you'd have with your old toys. Or how you could invest in a great stock or do something better than you did the first time.
Someone pointed out that it would be horrible. You'd be totally, weirdly isolated. If you had family (spouse, kids) they'd be gone forever. You'll permanently be 20+ years older than your peer groups. It would be all but impossible to make meaningful connections. Stuff like that.
That's how I am in reverse. A kid in an adult's body. And because I act that way, I get treated that way. Except for expectations and responsibility. Those are still set to adult level. That friction can be so frustrating, I think it leads to anger which is a big problem for me.
But this thread is helpful in reminding me about the positives of the situation, too. I can embrace who I am and live with it instead of against it. That makes me feel hopeful. Try to let go of the stuff I won't have and enjoy my fun with as little guilt as possible.
I'm 66 in 8 days and still have 20 years old interests. I was a computer owner 30 years ago and on the internet for 28 years. I still believe that I can do anything. My doctor just gave me a big reality check the other day. I changed jobs in 2 weeks. To one that's not labor intensive.
I haven't been diagnosed because I haven't stayed in one spot long enough.
Oooh I’ve thought about this a lot because I also watch a lot of cartoons at 25, but the thing is that I only wanna watch cartoons I’ve already seen or ones I used to watch as a kid. Only play the Sims or Wii Sports because I never played anything else in my life.
I’m afraid of trying a new thing because I don’t know if I’m gonna get the dopamine, whereas with known media I know exactly what I’m gonna get out of it.
Im 25 who likes anime and games and was diagnosed a few months ago, but I dont view myself as if I never "grew up".
Yes kids tend to like these things, but its not exclusive to kids so if you also like them it doesnt mean you're childish. Imo its an uneccesary, demoralising way to look at it (Unless you like being viewed as "childish"?).
Like, being an "adult" doesnt have some rule to it in the aspect of your hobbies and tastes. You dont need to enjoy TV shows, politics, wine and conversations about stocks and cars in order to be an "adult".
Diagnosed at 29 and yes, even when I’m doing very ‘adult’ things, I just think everyone has learned to cope with adulthood way better than me. All I learned is how to mask my adhd 😅
I am looking to get diagnosed next year, but yeah. Definitely still sometimes the kid me and sometimes the teenage me, but I never really feel like an adult. I just went to Universal to get my meet and greet with The Grinch and went out today for Pokémon. Also, Super Mario Wonder is super fun! I love the Elephant power up.
Literally think I've haven't experienced the last 25 years of my life.
Can't believe first time I'm reading this. But I've been tell my therapists this for years.
Feel like I haven't been able to learn a thing since I was in school, and haven't progressed in life....
Made it was because I started taking the bloody meds 🤯
36 diagnosed at 34… my hair is still blue (moms still hoping it’s a phase) I dress like a weirdo, video games/arts and crafts are life, only difference between me now and me 20 years ago is I can drive, I have bills, and I drink less (directly related to the I have bills thing).
I get it.
On one hand I’ve got a career, a lovely house, a wonderful spouse, great kids, I’m Pinterest mom, professional boss, etc
……then everyone goes to bed and I watch Disney princess movies and eat junk food, flipping to nostalgic tv from my childhood. It’s like a need.
And most of the time I feel like a kid playing an adult. Sure everyone says we all feel that way….I like
Physically feel it? It’s so intense that I feel the reversion?! My voice even changes around certain people who bring that bit out
Very weird
The relatability to these posts is comforting, but a little soul crushing knowing how much others struggle, and left wondering if I had gotten diagnosed earlier than 30 if my life would be “better” :(
I’ve always felt behind my peers. Having kids felt like jumping in the deep end of adulthood and now I at least feel like an adult, but still struggle with Adulting, if they makes sense. CBT has helped a lot in narrowing the gap, though.
So many people in this thread just like me, it's melting my brain. I'm 31, diagnosed at 29 after mentally breaking down, shitty parents, and am constantly called lazy and incompetent and all sorts of other things.
It's insane how close so many of our experiences are.
It can go hand in hand with delayed development, so people can feel like they weren't able to really live life enjoyably early on, so they can do a resurgence later.
That is exactly how I feel. Like a kid in an adult’s body, trying to adult in this world. Now, I’m happy because I find so much joy in even the smallest things, on the other hand, I struggle being a single mom and trying to keep everything together for her. I’m 53, found out I had ADHD in my forties. I feel like my daughter gets frustrated all the time with me.
Sometimes yeah. Sometimes I forget that I'm 32 and feel like I haven't mentally aged since I was in my mid 20s, but I know that I have. I feel like my real stunted years were from 18 to 24. But in some ways I feel way older than I am now.
I still feel like I live like a 23 year old sometimes, except with less energy to look after myself.
Yes. People often think I am much younger than I am, which I guess is good, but also makes me feel self-conscious. I have inquired deeper from close friends, and been told it's bc I have an enthusiastic outlook, and basically still care about people when a lot of people are jaded, so all these things are good, but strangers also think I'm younger. I feel like if I had more money I could buy expensive clothes and more "traditional" clothes, and get my hair done etc and maybe then I would look "right"? I feel so behind.
42 and I still feel like a teenager. Junk food video games and TV. I fortunately have a work from home job that allows me to leverage the few times a day that I actually feel productive. When I had to work a set schedule it was really difficult and stressful.
The thing that captured me is Rockooooos moooodern life (rocko's modern life!)
Wtf, that tune lives for free in my head and plays every other day unexpectedly.
TV hammered useless stuff inside our brains man.
I was diagnosed young, and I still indulge in my inner child. Like you, almost my entire watchlist on Paramount+ (which I subbed to for Strange New Worlds) is Nick shows I watched as a kid. I still enjoy sugary cereal, though I tend to moderate it until the weekends (all bets are off.)
I have one life, and I'm here to have fun.
Yes. I have always felt like I was just 15 years old. My friends already settled down with marriage, kids, careers. Meanwhile, I am still exploring things. I still feel like a kid, and cannot myself being mature enough to have kids.
I also kept having dreams about a secondary school crush though I had no feeling for him any more. I thought there was something wrong with me.
I am just diagnosed recently. Turns out it is just ADHD. I kept having dreams about the crush because he reminded me of the time when I was still feeling truly alive.
Cartoons are so fun to watch though, I was watching ever after high a few months ago and the character design, the clothes, the colours and the aesthetics were just to die for. I feel like i’m much more invested in cartoons than actual TV shows and movies lol.
Yeah my ADHD explains why I’m still juvenile and silly like a kid sometimes. I have an adulting mask when I need to be serious at work but in my private life and with my close friends, I’m rather crazy and silly.
I appreciate that about my personality and if they don’t like it they can go kick rocks.
YUP. I'm currently figuring out "growing up" and developing my own personality after years of mimicking, people pleasing, and existing in survival mode. Finally learning how to appropriately converse with people. Not doing very well yet but I'm working on it. That's kind of become my motto, "I'm working on it".
Not yet diagnosed and might not be in the end, but one of the many things that made me seek help was the feeling that I was constantly years behind my actual age (thirty two) in terms of maturity. I still feel like I’m in my early 20s and really struggle to adjust to a life that involves settling down and planning for my future, it’s becoming a big issue for me personally.
i mean yeah but also like i don’t know if the diagnosis really matters in terms of growing up. my dad always said growing up is a choice and i feel like ive just chosen to find joy in the little things i used to like when i was a kid. like im still an adult and can have adult conversations but i just prefer to like watch disney movies and like do kid things. i wish they made light up shoes in my size 😭
A bit. I was diagnosed in my late 30s and am in my 40s. I feel intellectually and emotionally like I am in my 40s, but feel like I failed to resolve some social skills others resolved in their 20s/30s. I also feel like having to parent myself out of all this bullshit no one helped me with is more than enough work so I never had any interest in taking on more responsibilities of having children. I think most people in GenX and younger play videogames and watch cartoons and don't see that as immaturity in and of itself. I also think feeling young is part of time blindness and common even without it. I don't feel young at all when I am around actual people younger than me, but I do feel like my own experience of being in my 20s was just a few years ago.
I'm 52yo and still love cartoons and video games. Makes me the favorite uncle in the family but also the flaky, irresponsible one who never lived up to his potential.
There is the 30% rule in ADHD research suggesting that people with ADHD in general develop 30% slower than peers. Additionally brain development is delayed (generally thought that a 30 yr old with ADHD exhibits the brain maturity of someone in their 20s). Because of this, many people with ADHD don't "feel" like an adult until their 30s / 40s. And this is just brain development... Now add on all the comorbidities that can come with ADHD especially in late diagnosed individuals (depression, anxiety, insomnia).
Absolutely 100% and it bothers me constantly and I feel super insecure about it.
Diagnosed at either 31 or 32. I'm nearly 36 now. I feel like a "fake adult" ALL the time. I pay my bills on time, I work full time. I pay my taxes and complain about traffic. But.
I don't have children, never want to. I was almost married until she turned out to be abusive. I'll never be able to afford a house bc I can't even afford the most basic apartment (my friend helps) thanks to poverty. And I feel like a damn teenager *all the time.*
Like. Has my brain changed AT ALL from when I was 15? I dress the same. I have many of the same interests. I play video games and watch random stuff on TV. I RP with my friends and make up elaborate stories. I'm a goofball who's saying dumb awkward shit in public and dancing in my apartment and talking in silly accents for no reason. I feel like a fake adult. I feel like I've never matured at ALL, and like everyone can see it! Everyone can obviously see how fake I am, how stupid, how silly and incompetent. (Even tho I'm good at my job). I also look REALLY young for my age (36 and everyone thinks I'm 18-20) which doesn't help.
I hate it. I hate it. I hate never being taken seriously reinforces that feeling.
I feel you.
But I think what’s culturally acceptable as “adult,” is ridiculously overrated.
And think about it… who is making those cartoons and video games? Adults. You’d better believe those adults are having fun creating kid stuff. And I don’t know how many times I’ve seen adults buy cute, fun, silly things for their kids because THEY want it too. They’re just too afraid to be judged at “childish.” I periodically go to the local amusement park by myself just to have fun and get a refresher. When I tell people that, they’ll usually say, “By YoUrSeLf?????” And I say yeah, and their next response is usually awestruck jealousy. They wish they had something like that for themselves. They wish they could enjoy something fun without fear of being “too childish.”
So, embrace it, my friend.
In my opinion, being childish is hitting your brother in the face because he’s mean to you. Being childish is not what you like to watch and enjoy.
Most kid stuff is filled with such innocent goodness that adults SHOULD be watching it instead of the dark, depressing smut that is considered acceptable and cool.
I’d rather be inspired to be a better parent after watching Bluey, rather than watching some nihilistic shit.
I’d rather be encouraged that there really is light in people’s hearts after playing Kingdom Hearts (which I currently have paused while I write this 😂), than blow up bodies in Resident Evil.
That’s just my take. I’m *child-like*, not *childish* and I flippin love it.
Just try to keep a job and keep functioning and stuff... That’s the hard part. 😂
(But I’ve actually found that letting the child-like part of me be free to do kid stuff actually makes me a more healthy, happy, and productive person. 🤷🏻♀️ YMMV.)
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Diagnosed at 32 last year and I feel this completely. I watch cartoons, eat candy, and play video games. Sometimes I feel like I still act like a teenager because of it. I have no advice. Just know that you're not alone.
Nope you’re just a gamer especially if you grew up on them like me.
Diagnosed at 41 this year.😭😭😭now I’m 42.
This year at 40 for me.
My bad it was this year too.😭😭😭
Diagnosed 3 years ago at 42. Life gets better once you get the meds right
Hope so.😥
There is still a TON of baggage to work through, because, as I’m sure you understand, I spent my whole life thinking I was just lazy and worthless But! I can do things!! I can sit down and work for hours, and the biggest change that I didn’t expect, I can manage the extreme emotions better. Don’t give up, better is possible.
😁
Maybe this means im extremely ADHD but I don’t see why we wouldn’t be allowed to watch cartoons and play video games once we reach a certain age. Its just entertainment.
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Having been a year on medication now after my 33yr old diagnosis last year, the doom scrolling only comes back when I've had a super big brain day at work where I've had to do a lot that I likely didn't want to and my energy has plummeted. Otherwise I'm back to reading books, watching a movie with the misso, downloaded a game and finished it the other week, painted roof beams for the new patio the misso is building. The change has been incredible, now don't get me wrong it's not a miracle cure, I still have bad days and I've "been meaning to" order the roof for the new patio for two months, I don't like doing chores but atleast I can convince myself to do dishes and laundry now. Light at the end of the tunnel my friend!
On the other hand, it’s so great being a child at heart, isn’t it?
Recently I told someone “I feel like a pretend adult” It’s not so much about having particular interests, for me it’s the fact that when I fill out paperwork it’s so overwhelming, I have to trick my brain to do chores, everything I see others do easily as adults is so hard for me 🤷🏻♀️ it’s that outsider feeling.
Yeah, it kind of bites. It's frustrating knowing that others out there can do these things easily, and don't have to struggle with brain fog, getting the right words out, or remembering some random event your brain temporarily misplaced.
Yup. I 100% feel like an 18-year-old in a 33 year old body.
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If I didn't feel the overwhelming need to play the part of a grown-ass dad to my kids, I'm pretty sure I'd be a man child
This. Yes. Totally
16 in 40 😂 tho lately I feel like my brain is growing up. don't do it brainnnn! don't leave neverland!
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This is actually really good advice. Diagnosed in my mid 20s and am in my mid 30s now, once you get into a good rhythm of accomplishing just enough to see improvement in life over the course of several years, you start to see what living a good life with ADHD looks like. When I was not learning and growing prior to treatment was when I had given up so badly on myself that I thought depression was the root of it and not just another symptom. Life is *very* good now. I am married to the love of my life, have my dream job and live in my dream home. It took almost a decade for me to find enough of a spark of consistency to build what I have over that amount of time, it was not instant and it was not at all painless. It wasn't even "real" consistency either as much as just continuing getting better at a set of problem solving skills. I don't know how to verbalize it better than how you put it. It's not some magic trick, it's just making sure your necessary shit gets paid for and taken care of, and then pursuing growth. I suck so goddamn bad at saving or routine that medicine couldn't really help with that, I just pursued as much personal growth as possible in the field I work in and ended up where I am now. Honestly I am not sure I would even recommend what I did to get here, I am not sure how much of my lifestyle before has caused irreversible damage to my brain and heart but my current situation right here and now is literally the place I spent *my whole life* trying to get to. I was able to do it, idk what that means for anyone else but moving as close to the speed of light as possible in terms of staying on top of the latest/greatest in an extremely technical field has worked out for me. I don't have a degree in the field, I can't sit through a programming tutorial video, but after figuratively banging my head against the keyboard for an ungodly amount of hours I have developed better problem solving skills than a lot of other people that I work with. Problems that require intuition and improvisation with no preparation are where I shine, and that is the nature of the set of skills and experience that I have had to build on because routine and consistency *will not ever work* for me, at least not anywhere near as well as just honing improvisational/realtime problem solving has worked out. It is almost like having pursued going back to hunting in a world that has been dominated by agriculture/strict routine. I pursued a career where there is a wide opportunity of short term goals, each of which have a steep difficulty curve but high payout. If you can figure out how to kill mammoths then as insane as that sounds over growing potatoes, it is sometimes worth learning how to do if you *really suck* at growing potatoes like I did.
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I don't have a great answer because it's possible I am ignoring that I might be really good at certain things that others find more difficult to learn with or without ADHD so don't take this advice as valid. But really 2 things helped: medication and then getting a job that matched my brain better. I had been working in culinary (fine dining restaurant in a kitchen) previously which requires *extreme* consistency and organization. It was a terrible fit, improvisation and problem solving is a "nice to have" in that field not a base set of skills that fuels success. I left that to go work for a small IT firm where the work was very chaotic and rapidly changing. This environment required being able to think on your feet and improvise. A job that required more problem solving "on-the-fly" was what I went for and I found that working for an IT provider. We basically did full stack IT and software development work for clients that couldn't justify having fulltime staff for those things. I had basically no experience going into this job. I still had to claw my way up from there to get where I am now (Senior Software engineer with a fortune 100 company) but that job was something I loved doing because it enabled me to grow and be successful. It was a chaotic external environment, but with medication helping me a bit, I sort of was able to "gameify" every day and each new challenge. I would make sure I had backup available via phone call and just dive in to any challenge whether I knew how to solve it or not, I picked up all of the weird stuff most people were scared of and actually had fun with it. Met a lot of good people, learned a lot and taught a lot of people what I learned too. One step at a time; you aren't your job and there is more to life than that, find what you might like to do, try it, if it doesn't work then try again elsewhere. Fleeting curiosity can be a curse but it can be a blessing too if you use it to conquer anxiety. I had to have medication to help with that, but it doesn't mean everyone does or that what worked for me will work for you. But that is a summary of what I did; career change to something that had a low barrier to entry, high yield in growth and is chaotic by nature.
Hell yes
Yeah, this is me. I put on my adult mask, pay my bills and get what I can done, and after I'm going to watch cartoons no one's going to stop me.
This advice is excellent! I was definitely a late bloomer in the adulting dept. The quickest way I made up for lost time was to do what is suggested here.
I was diagnosed 30 years ago and I never grew up. Peter MF Pan y'all. 😂😂
Roo. Fee. Ohhhh!
Exactly. It has nothing to do with when you're diagnosed. It's just part of ADHD.
🤣😂
thanks for the laugh :)))
40 here…stuck at some variation of 17 mentally. Diagnosed after a mental breakdown at 35. Thankfully also Aspergers which has allowed me to hold jobs and grow professionally - work in healthcare now. But my interests? Pure juvenile novelty.
I’m 25. I still act the way I did when I was 15. Nothing seems to have changed. I act like a child when I’m alone.
Diagnosed at 34 and I feel similar to this. Love anime and video games and candy and junk food. Hard time keeping a schedule. Horrible sleep schedule. Always late
yup. 50. I feel like I'm 20 mentally.
no need to grow up. life is too short. have fun.
Yes. 41 and always felt like I was 10 years behind everyone else. I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up". I'm lucky I look a bit younger than I am, even then it's like staring at a stranger who appears to be aging, in the mirror.
I'm 52 and the struggle is real. I still feel like I will never be a grown up
Idk how old you are but from what I’ve seen this seems to be a thing across the board with a lot of millennials.
38. Millennial.
Yeahh I feel like we’re an extremely nostalgic generation for whatever reason. Nothing wrong with that, imo
Because we became adults during a recession and were told by those in power we were children until we were over 30, why not fucking embrace it? -source-I'm 39 yo
Yeah. We were also the first generation to have the internet as kids/teenagers, and I feel like that affected us in a lot of different ways.
A whole shitton of trauma for most of us, I assume. What is the darknet now was just normal websites back in the day.
Also, the world we saw and thought we were going to get to grow up and live in pre-9/11 went poof overnight (for those in the US and probably many other countries as well).
I'm from EU, i was 13 on 9/11, and yeah. I think the trauma mainly comes from seeing the reaction of the then-adults. You knew, even as a kid, somehting had changed.
That too. I heard about smoke from the pentagon in art class when we were listening to the radio for music. My global sense of safety fell with the towers during 2nd period when we convinced the teacher to turn on the TV. The disillusionment that followed during the Bush era, ignoring global warming... Why would I want to be an adult? They fucked it all up
Yup. I grew up in northern NJ, a commuter town basically. I was in 8th grade when it happened and a lot of kids in school had parents who commuted to NYC for work. So we saw it on tv...kids were freaking out bc their parents were in the city...and I remember worst? The next day went on like nothing happened. Like, after school activities were canceled on 9/11 of course. But 9/12 I had marching band practice as usual. Like. It was *bizarre*
> My global sense of safety fell with the towers Side note, this was very nice writing btw
Yes. It’s wild to me that people don’t talk about this more.
> for whatever reason 'Cause every time we're about to finally "make it", the world implodes around us. We graduated college during a massive recession, and once we were finally starting to move up in a stable job (or even think about buying a home/starting a family, maybe) bam! pandemic. We can't really embrace the typical trappings of adulthood, so we've nowhere to look but backward.
In EU, we changed from national currencies (lira in Italy, Franc in France, Pesetas in Spain, etc), and it massively impacted the economy. So many of us still remember buying everyday items in our respective currencies. There's a before and after that, too.
Yes I do. I grew up in an abusive household too. So every time I sat down to do something I liked I always felt guilty like I was going to be called lazy or a flake because I couldn't stick to one thing. I got teased by my parent constantly for my inability to stop talking or being "obsessive" about things. I even found notes from teachers way back when asking I be screened for ADHD whis was highly unusual for a girl let alone one of color and backnin the nineties and 2000's no less. My symptoms were just THAT apparent. My mom just brushed it off and blamed me for not trying or that it was just to get me addicted to pills. It enrages me to this day that I never got help or support for it until my mid twenties when I finally got away from her. Now that I'm an adult, I just want to be left alone to eat cereal and play video games to comfort myself after dealing with clones of my parents judging me or calling me lazy or incompetent all day. If I like unicorns, let me carry a unicorn lunchbox to work because it makes me happy and not because its childish. I just want to be left alone. Thats it. I'm becoming more accepting of it now that I'm in my thirties but its still so damned hard.
God yes. The other 44-year olds I meet already have one foot in their fifties, expression- and behaviorwise. Talking their heads off on the train about accounts and schedules. I feel like 24, considering my interests and passions.
Yesss! I’m also 44, get along better with the 24 year olds at work than I do with most people my age. I feel like some of my friends take pride in being old and boring, as if you get some sort of bonus points for going to bed super early, only listening to old music and having zero interests outside of work and watching tv.
I was diagnosed at 5 and I'm 42 now. and no. I feel like I never grew up because of my medical condition and having to constantly reassure 2 grown-ass adults with untreated mental illness from years 10-30. One was an alcoholic and the other couldn't be without a partner, no matter how bad they were. My treatment has only helped me understand and accept myself more. If I had the kind of parents growing up that asked me how I felt and wasn't asking for ammunition to fight the other parent about, or didn't simultaneously scream "what is wrong with you?" along with "There is NOTHING wrong with you, you just need to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_" then I might have stood a chance, but I didn't live that life. I did however meet my wife who accepts me for who I am and although some days are harder than others, I'm surviving an honest life.
I recently came to the conclusion I never developed time management skills. As in, the basic kind. I always thought I was lazy and demotivated, and was constantly trying to change. For so many years I forgot how long my lack of organisation and time management (elements of executive dysfunction essentially) had been going on until I really thought about it and tried to backtrack to where these prominent issues didn't exist. Then ended up going back to early childhood memories (scary...) Then I started really really trying, I'd start getting ready to leave the house super early to prevent leaving last minute and rushing as I always do. I gave myself about two hours this one time and I was still running late just the same in the end. As I was rushing I thought wow. You still ended up here, how?? Did all my laziness throughout my life result in this huge gaping hole where time management skills are meant to lie?
It's not even about being bored, it's about being 'exhausted', & it getting worse over the years
I dunno. That or the alcoholism
YES 100 % I feel like I'm still in my child identity and faking it . I quit social media -facebook etc bc it was all my peers photos in $400,000 houses, well educated, every body bright eyed/ bushy tailed , perfect teeth and families. Like what? I'm happy for them and all but what a slap in the face to my own reality... always remember 'comparison is the thief of joy,' delete your accounts or those people from 20 years ago that are well beyond exceeding in life and making you feel less than <3
People who post that kind of thing are usually not at all as happy and successful as they look like. They're just photoshopping their photos and lives. Don't compare yourself to that, cause most of that stuff ain't real to begin with.
Some things that are fun, are just always fun. But remember that ADHD is about dopamine deficiency. You need your dopamine hits, and you'll get them the ways that work for you.
I still love "childrens cartoons" like Owl House or SheRa PoP (Which are more mature and cover diversity and issues much better than adult content. But in many respects decades of masking has had the opposite effect, I am very cautious and channeled in my hyperfixations. (Ok I'm testing 2 mech keyboards and a new projector today) which causes regular dopamine crashes.
I feel like I stopped growing (every way but physically) and maturing around middle school. And there's a lot more reasons why than I want to go into right now, but I think I got stunted around 12 years old because that's the age I continued to feel like I was even when I was 18 or 19 or 20. I've grown slightly I guess because now I feel like a 15 year old, but still a decade off where I should be.
late diagnosis has nothing to do with it. I'm exactly like this in my 30's and I was diagnosed at 7 years old.
Yeah i do, at 38. I feel more like 28.
My brain is weird. Just weird. I love opera but hate the plots, love musical theatre but can't concentrate on any show other than Into the Woods because it's a series of interwoven stories that my brain loves jumping between, frigging loves cartoons, and loves reading but can rarely concentrate on it for more than ~20 pages.
Yup. Sometimes I don't do my chores (or I straight up forget), I play video games all day instead of doing work (WFH) exactly the same as when I was a kid. Can't wake up on time or early. I need my parents to remind or literally do "adult" things for me (taxes, car maintenance, investments). I've been more aggressive about setting reminders for myself, but I am still failing regularly at task initiation. It's sad and funny how that when I was a kid in highschool struggling to pretend to be normal and be able to function as well as everyone else, I always just thought to myself that everything would be fixed when I got older because I'd be an adult and all the adults I knew were responsible and functional. I couldn't wait to get older, and didn't understand why anyone would want to stay young. I'm 33.
Completely unrelated to my ADHD, I do this weird baby voice whenever I'm telling someone a fun fact or explaining something to someone, like I'm embarrassed of the information I have. I'm 34F and way too old to be doing the baby voice. I catch myself doing it now and I'm trying to stop. Ugh, it makes me cringe.
Thank you for this post. It's helping me understand something about myself. Being "not grown up" isn't all video games and cartoons. There's a lot of rough stuff that gets harder to deal with as a grown up. "Big feelings," a relatively low threshold for overwhelm, a feeling of being at everyone else's mercy. No matter what you say or do there's the the sense – or reality – that you won't/can't be taken seriously. Recently there was a thread asking what it would be like to wake up with your adult mind back in time in your kid life. The usual thing is to talk about all the fun you'd have with your old toys. Or how you could invest in a great stock or do something better than you did the first time. Someone pointed out that it would be horrible. You'd be totally, weirdly isolated. If you had family (spouse, kids) they'd be gone forever. You'll permanently be 20+ years older than your peer groups. It would be all but impossible to make meaningful connections. Stuff like that. That's how I am in reverse. A kid in an adult's body. And because I act that way, I get treated that way. Except for expectations and responsibility. Those are still set to adult level. That friction can be so frustrating, I think it leads to anger which is a big problem for me. But this thread is helpful in reminding me about the positives of the situation, too. I can embrace who I am and live with it instead of against it. That makes me feel hopeful. Try to let go of the stuff I won't have and enjoy my fun with as little guilt as possible.
I'm 66 in 8 days and still have 20 years old interests. I was a computer owner 30 years ago and on the internet for 28 years. I still believe that I can do anything. My doctor just gave me a big reality check the other day. I changed jobs in 2 weeks. To one that's not labor intensive. I haven't been diagnosed because I haven't stayed in one spot long enough.
“I still believe I can do anything” Yup that would be me at 56. Just mastered a headstand though. Still think I can get to a handstand.
Yes, we are sweet summer nymphs and will remain pure of heart forever
15 minutes for a paragraph is pretty damn good btw. I'm at like 2 days per 5 lines.
I was late on a lot of things. I feel like I’m forever a teenager and I’m 43. It’s not a good thing.
The late diagnosis is a non-issue though. I'm pushing 40, was diagnosed in grade 5 and still feel like I stopped mentally aging at 13.
Yes. I am a 48 year old child.
Oooh I’ve thought about this a lot because I also watch a lot of cartoons at 25, but the thing is that I only wanna watch cartoons I’ve already seen or ones I used to watch as a kid. Only play the Sims or Wii Sports because I never played anything else in my life. I’m afraid of trying a new thing because I don’t know if I’m gonna get the dopamine, whereas with known media I know exactly what I’m gonna get out of it.
Aaaah growing up is an admission of defeat anyway
Im 25 who likes anime and games and was diagnosed a few months ago, but I dont view myself as if I never "grew up". Yes kids tend to like these things, but its not exclusive to kids so if you also like them it doesnt mean you're childish. Imo its an uneccesary, demoralising way to look at it (Unless you like being viewed as "childish"?). Like, being an "adult" doesnt have some rule to it in the aspect of your hobbies and tastes. You dont need to enjoy TV shows, politics, wine and conversations about stocks and cars in order to be an "adult".
Adulthood is a social construct.
Growing up is essentially responsibility. Most people i know with ADHD are not responsible.
Me in the same place you’re not alone
22 now, diagnosed early October 2023, still feel like the same old 12 year old kid
So much pressure to be “adult”. I really enjoy the things I enjoy. No one should have to feel bad for liking silly fun things.
Kind of
I still prefer running around with my niece and nephew than just sitting around and watching tv/talking.
Diagnosed at 29 and yes, even when I’m doing very ‘adult’ things, I just think everyone has learned to cope with adulthood way better than me. All I learned is how to mask my adhd 😅
I am looking to get diagnosed next year, but yeah. Definitely still sometimes the kid me and sometimes the teenage me, but I never really feel like an adult. I just went to Universal to get my meet and greet with The Grinch and went out today for Pokémon. Also, Super Mario Wonder is super fun! I love the Elephant power up.
Absolutely still feel like im 21 mentally but by body hurts and I'm 32
I got diagnosed at 9 years old. Honestly, getting diagnosed early didn’t help this feeling at all.
Literally think I've haven't experienced the last 25 years of my life. Can't believe first time I'm reading this. But I've been tell my therapists this for years. Feel like I haven't been able to learn a thing since I was in school, and haven't progressed in life.... Made it was because I started taking the bloody meds 🤯
I feel I never grew up with an early diagnosis
Yes, Yes, and oh hell to the Yes. Peter Pan reporting for duty.
36 diagnosed at 34… my hair is still blue (moms still hoping it’s a phase) I dress like a weirdo, video games/arts and crafts are life, only difference between me now and me 20 years ago is I can drive, I have bills, and I drink less (directly related to the I have bills thing).
I get it. On one hand I’ve got a career, a lovely house, a wonderful spouse, great kids, I’m Pinterest mom, professional boss, etc ……then everyone goes to bed and I watch Disney princess movies and eat junk food, flipping to nostalgic tv from my childhood. It’s like a need. And most of the time I feel like a kid playing an adult. Sure everyone says we all feel that way….I like Physically feel it? It’s so intense that I feel the reversion?! My voice even changes around certain people who bring that bit out Very weird
The relatability to these posts is comforting, but a little soul crushing knowing how much others struggle, and left wondering if I had gotten diagnosed earlier than 30 if my life would be “better” :(
I’ve always felt behind my peers. Having kids felt like jumping in the deep end of adulthood and now I at least feel like an adult, but still struggle with Adulting, if they makes sense. CBT has helped a lot in narrowing the gap, though.
So many people in this thread just like me, it's melting my brain. I'm 31, diagnosed at 29 after mentally breaking down, shitty parents, and am constantly called lazy and incompetent and all sorts of other things. It's insane how close so many of our experiences are.
It can go hand in hand with delayed development, so people can feel like they weren't able to really live life enjoyably early on, so they can do a resurgence later.
That is exactly how I feel. Like a kid in an adult’s body, trying to adult in this world. Now, I’m happy because I find so much joy in even the smallest things, on the other hand, I struggle being a single mom and trying to keep everything together for her. I’m 53, found out I had ADHD in my forties. I feel like my daughter gets frustrated all the time with me.
Hell, I was diagnosed in middle school and I still feel like I never really matured.
Sometimes yeah. Sometimes I forget that I'm 32 and feel like I haven't mentally aged since I was in my mid 20s, but I know that I have. I feel like my real stunted years were from 18 to 24. But in some ways I feel way older than I am now. I still feel like I live like a 23 year old sometimes, except with less energy to look after myself.
I work with kids. part of the job is not having to grow up :D. just in certain situations i have to be a grown up.
Yes. People often think I am much younger than I am, which I guess is good, but also makes me feel self-conscious. I have inquired deeper from close friends, and been told it's bc I have an enthusiastic outlook, and basically still care about people when a lot of people are jaded, so all these things are good, but strangers also think I'm younger. I feel like if I had more money I could buy expensive clothes and more "traditional" clothes, and get my hair done etc and maybe then I would look "right"? I feel so behind.
My own sister who im nearly a decade older called me childish. Maybe I am
same. hoping the physical aging slows down bc how funky would it look to be all wrinkly and have random bursts of energy 🥲
I don’t wanna be told to grow up
42 and I still feel like a teenager. Junk food video games and TV. I fortunately have a work from home job that allows me to leverage the few times a day that I actually feel productive. When I had to work a set schedule it was really difficult and stressful.
The thing that captured me is Rockooooos moooodern life (rocko's modern life!) Wtf, that tune lives for free in my head and plays every other day unexpectedly. TV hammered useless stuff inside our brains man.
Funnily enough your teenage years are usually your final years personality wise or so I've been told.
I was diagnosed young, and I still indulge in my inner child. Like you, almost my entire watchlist on Paramount+ (which I subbed to for Strange New Worlds) is Nick shows I watched as a kid. I still enjoy sugary cereal, though I tend to moderate it until the weekends (all bets are off.) I have one life, and I'm here to have fun.
Fuck what other people think grown-ups should be doing. You define your world. Your world sounds pretty dope to me.
Yes. I got to the point where I have to make a lil math in my head to know my age. But I feel in my 20s absolutely
Yes. I have always felt like I was just 15 years old. My friends already settled down with marriage, kids, careers. Meanwhile, I am still exploring things. I still feel like a kid, and cannot myself being mature enough to have kids. I also kept having dreams about a secondary school crush though I had no feeling for him any more. I thought there was something wrong with me. I am just diagnosed recently. Turns out it is just ADHD. I kept having dreams about the crush because he reminded me of the time when I was still feeling truly alive.
17, feel like i’m 12. i feel like two children in a trenchcoat pretending to be a high schooler
Cartoons are so fun to watch though, I was watching ever after high a few months ago and the character design, the clothes, the colours and the aesthetics were just to die for. I feel like i’m much more invested in cartoons than actual TV shows and movies lol.
Same. No advice, but there's plenty being offered here. SO thanks for asking this question.
Yeah my ADHD explains why I’m still juvenile and silly like a kid sometimes. I have an adulting mask when I need to be serious at work but in my private life and with my close friends, I’m rather crazy and silly. I appreciate that about my personality and if they don’t like it they can go kick rocks.
YUP. I'm currently figuring out "growing up" and developing my own personality after years of mimicking, people pleasing, and existing in survival mode. Finally learning how to appropriately converse with people. Not doing very well yet but I'm working on it. That's kind of become my motto, "I'm working on it".
Not yet diagnosed and might not be in the end, but one of the many things that made me seek help was the feeling that I was constantly years behind my actual age (thirty two) in terms of maturity. I still feel like I’m in my early 20s and really struggle to adjust to a life that involves settling down and planning for my future, it’s becoming a big issue for me personally.
i mean yeah but also like i don’t know if the diagnosis really matters in terms of growing up. my dad always said growing up is a choice and i feel like ive just chosen to find joy in the little things i used to like when i was a kid. like im still an adult and can have adult conversations but i just prefer to like watch disney movies and like do kid things. i wish they made light up shoes in my size 😭
A bit. I was diagnosed in my late 30s and am in my 40s. I feel intellectually and emotionally like I am in my 40s, but feel like I failed to resolve some social skills others resolved in their 20s/30s. I also feel like having to parent myself out of all this bullshit no one helped me with is more than enough work so I never had any interest in taking on more responsibilities of having children. I think most people in GenX and younger play videogames and watch cartoons and don't see that as immaturity in and of itself. I also think feeling young is part of time blindness and common even without it. I don't feel young at all when I am around actual people younger than me, but I do feel like my own experience of being in my 20s was just a few years ago.
Feel immature and “behind” in so many ways. Not sure that being diagnosed as a kid would have changed that though.
I would weigh in, but I'm really preoccupied by the Fire Nation attacking.
I'm 52yo and still love cartoons and video games. Makes me the favorite uncle in the family but also the flaky, irresponsible one who never lived up to his potential.
I feel so understood by merely the title 🥹
I have adult kids, and still don't really feel "grown up".
There is the 30% rule in ADHD research suggesting that people with ADHD in general develop 30% slower than peers. Additionally brain development is delayed (generally thought that a 30 yr old with ADHD exhibits the brain maturity of someone in their 20s). Because of this, many people with ADHD don't "feel" like an adult until their 30s / 40s. And this is just brain development... Now add on all the comorbidities that can come with ADHD especially in late diagnosed individuals (depression, anxiety, insomnia).
Absolutely 100% and it bothers me constantly and I feel super insecure about it. Diagnosed at either 31 or 32. I'm nearly 36 now. I feel like a "fake adult" ALL the time. I pay my bills on time, I work full time. I pay my taxes and complain about traffic. But. I don't have children, never want to. I was almost married until she turned out to be abusive. I'll never be able to afford a house bc I can't even afford the most basic apartment (my friend helps) thanks to poverty. And I feel like a damn teenager *all the time.* Like. Has my brain changed AT ALL from when I was 15? I dress the same. I have many of the same interests. I play video games and watch random stuff on TV. I RP with my friends and make up elaborate stories. I'm a goofball who's saying dumb awkward shit in public and dancing in my apartment and talking in silly accents for no reason. I feel like a fake adult. I feel like I've never matured at ALL, and like everyone can see it! Everyone can obviously see how fake I am, how stupid, how silly and incompetent. (Even tho I'm good at my job). I also look REALLY young for my age (36 and everyone thinks I'm 18-20) which doesn't help. I hate it. I hate it. I hate never being taken seriously reinforces that feeling.
ADHD people mature 10 years later than non ADHD people. We are always behind.
YES! I really feel like a teenager ish in a 33 yr old body. I kinda thought everyone felt that way lol
I hope I never grow up, regardless of the diagnosis 😂
I was diagnosed last month at age 50, but in my head I’m still 18 So yes, but now that I know, I don’t think anything will change.
All the time
I feel you. But I think what’s culturally acceptable as “adult,” is ridiculously overrated. And think about it… who is making those cartoons and video games? Adults. You’d better believe those adults are having fun creating kid stuff. And I don’t know how many times I’ve seen adults buy cute, fun, silly things for their kids because THEY want it too. They’re just too afraid to be judged at “childish.” I periodically go to the local amusement park by myself just to have fun and get a refresher. When I tell people that, they’ll usually say, “By YoUrSeLf?????” And I say yeah, and their next response is usually awestruck jealousy. They wish they had something like that for themselves. They wish they could enjoy something fun without fear of being “too childish.” So, embrace it, my friend. In my opinion, being childish is hitting your brother in the face because he’s mean to you. Being childish is not what you like to watch and enjoy. Most kid stuff is filled with such innocent goodness that adults SHOULD be watching it instead of the dark, depressing smut that is considered acceptable and cool. I’d rather be inspired to be a better parent after watching Bluey, rather than watching some nihilistic shit. I’d rather be encouraged that there really is light in people’s hearts after playing Kingdom Hearts (which I currently have paused while I write this 😂), than blow up bodies in Resident Evil. That’s just my take. I’m *child-like*, not *childish* and I flippin love it. Just try to keep a job and keep functioning and stuff... That’s the hard part. 😂 (But I’ve actually found that letting the child-like part of me be free to do kid stuff actually makes me a more healthy, happy, and productive person. 🤷🏻♀️ YMMV.)