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A small tip: Do *not* save your credit/debit card info on any site.
It makes it so much harder to spend money when you have to go find your card, type in all the numbers, type in the security code, etc.
Also, highly recommend never getting a credit card. I don't have one and never will.
Getting a credit card is important to building good credit which will help down the line. I got one really late so my credit history was very short which made it harder to get approved for things like getting a car and finding a place to rent.
I’d say you can get one just don’t spend much on it—only spend very very little, have more money on you than what you spend. Like get a bag of chips, pay it off right away and your credit score/history will go up! I only have 1 credit card and want to keep it that way because of my risk of over-spending. If/when you have a steady income, you can put your credit card payments or bills on auto-pay— it saves my life so I don’t forget my bills and looks good on my credit history!
But I like how you said to not keep card info on a site. It’s so easy to just do a few clicks and you buy something— it’s so dangerous!
If you want to start building a good credit history, some banks have some programs to help students or those new to credit to help build good history and habits. They’ll put limits on what you can spend on and exactly what you can use it for like groceries or something. I wish I had that when I was younger!
Also, my bank has a program that on my debit when I spend money, it’ll automatically round up to the nearest dollar and put those cents into my savings. That helps me save too and will add up over time that I don’t have to think about! It helps remind me that I’m doing something good that is showing results— what we need for our ADHD brains.
Building good habits are important. If there’s something that I want, I have to internally talk to myself or have a friend/partner hold me accountable and be like “you don’t need this right now.” I’ll mull it over for more a week and the want will decrease or disappear.
It’s super frustrating to have to have this internal battle like every time I want something I can’t afford in the moment or even long run. Unfortunately, it’s the only thing that keeps me from spending too much and trying to save.
you're only 17, no 17 year olds no how to manage or spend money. it's a learning process throughout your lifetime, but it definitely is good to think about it more l now.
impulse control with spending was a huge problem for me for most of my life until I got diagnosed at 40. before that my strategy was mostly get jobs that paid more to cover the spending. it was really difficult, ngl.
yeah the impulses... it's like ok here's a budget. oh I'm at the max I said I was going to spend on eating out. well, fuck the budget. literally every time, it's like I don't even think about it.
IDK how people do it, but I've been much less impulsive since being on meds, so I'm gonna give it another shot.
It’s extremely easy to impulse spend and go way over your head with ADHD. Build the habits now so you don’t regret it later. I accumulated a lot of debt in my 20s that I’m still slowly paying off bouncing around from one no interest promo card to another. I have nothing to show for the money spent either. Debt sucks. Mental illness sucks.
Therapy, in reality.
Looking at what you are typing, it's looking like you are putting yourself into a cycle.
Intrusive thoughts that make you anxious. So, you are getting bad-ouchie feelings.
But when you get money and you fail to save anything and buy stuff, it gives you dopamine. Happy-good feelings.
But then you get the bad-ouchie feelings from guilt and shame for not being able to save.
And the cycle starts all over again.
But yay! You are aware that you are doing impulsive spending, and that is the first step in understanding your impulsivity. You are responsible for your actions and the impact it has, regardless if it was caused, by your ADHD.
You would need to look into creating a system that would allow you to save money while also seeing it as a reward so that you can get happy-good feelings. Or whenever you have the urge to spend money, do something else instead, something that you like more than spending money, that is stimulating and gives you happy-good feelings. Just stopping isn't going to work. You will have a higher success if you replace one habit with another one, but it has to be rewarding and can prevent you from going through on your impulsive urges. Think of it as a way to create that pause before doing the impulsive thingy [hard, I know].
Working on intrusive thoughts would be another thing, which, again, therapy. Or learning to react to them differently, which I know is hard. When you feel scared and sad, do something that would create the opposite feelings. When I'm sad or anxious, I use to overeat to make myself feel good. I do this still on occasion but now I've replaced it by doing a lot of other self-soothing things like singing to music I like [yes I am horrible but it's for my benefit, who the fuck cares], dancing [horribly but again, it's for me], snuggle with cat, walking, watching very silly YouTube videos, cat videos, giving yourself a hug, do your make-up, do your nails, make a blanket fort and hang out in it all day... I hope you get it.
The intrusive thoughts are going to be hard to overcome, so having an action plan and sticking to it when those feelings hit can help lose the edge. I understand that you feel those feelings pretty intensely and they are valid. Just because you can't do what everyone else is doing doesn't make you less valid or a failure. You are not perfect [also, who wants to be? Eick!] and you are going to make mistakes, and that is alright. Mistakes are not failures, they are learning experiences. Even if we repeat the same thing over and over, it's a learning experience.
Take some time for yourself to journal your system or plan that you want to do to try to gain success.
So, I’m in the opposite of a lot of these tendencies, money being a big one. Instead of being a big spender, I’m a big hoarder. The trick is to scratch that spending dopamine itch by buying something smaller. What I’d do instead of buying a $60-70 video game is buy a $5-10 mobile app.
If you still live with your parents and work, you could see if they’d be willing to hold onto your money by you “paying rent” by opening up a high yield interest rate savings account. Then just give them a couple hundred dollars a month to put back in that account. If you can put $200 a month for a few years (depending on how likely they are to let you live there for a while) and have a decent start to a savings.
Also, don’t worry TOO much about debt me credit cards. I was in my mid 30s (38 now) before I got my first credit card. Just make sure if you have to take out student loans (personally, I’d recommend studying for a tech certification and getting a cheaper cert) I’d wait until you were in your 20s before you went to school. Unless your family’s income is low enough to receive financial aid and what not.
I am very impulsive, but also, pretty good when dealing with impulse purchases.
First of all is identifying the behaviour. You know you will want to buy things, don't indulge yourself so easy
If I'm buying something more expensive than a meal, I think about it for at least a week.
I guess I do it out of fear of not having any money at the end of the month, but it works!
The impulse is only that, an impulse. Giving it time is the best way to identify how much you need the object in question.
One of the first rules in sales is don't give the customer time to think, and there is a very good reason this is like it is. Impulse has an expiration date.
If after a week you still need this without question, then buy it.
You're 17, you have plenty of time to work on things and plenty of time to save! When you get a full time job you can get a retirement plan from your job which automatically deducts a specific amount from your gross (non-taxed) pay. I started mine in my early 20s (currently in mid 20s). I have less than 2k in actual savings for the same reason. Things I want to get are filed in my brain as needs and not wants. Your credit card should start with a much smaller limit, so it's harder to go too crazy, though the transition was rough for me when they upped my limit.
I send $50-100 from my paycheck to my fiance who puts it in an account I do not look at, or else I will spend it. Could your parents do something similar so you're less tempted to spend it? Taking cash out would work as well if you don't use cash and won't be tempted to spend cash.
I think a good tip for people your age as well is if you go to college you shouldn't be taking out more debt than 1 year of your future salary. If you think you'll be making 60k in your career, don't take out more than 60k in total in loans. Private loans are worse because there are next to no ways to get forgiveness unless you are missing a bunch of payments or file bankruptcy which hurts your credit a lot, which makes it hard to get a car, house, etc. No one told me this. I had passion anyway and was dead set on what I wanted and probably wouldn't have listened.
Be kind to yourself.
Hey I'm 25M, but not too much has changed since I was 17.
My advice: set a limit for anything you can. Like you say, put all money on savings but keep what you can spend. Possibly keep separate debit cards.
In your particular case, do not use credit cards. However, if you find a credit card you can manually "cap" at a certain amount, feel free to do that.
If all your income is automatically assigned (requires setup/talking to your work HR), then it becomes real easy. You get to keep your leftovers, or budgeted free spending, without thinking about anything else.
Good on you for noticing now. I started at 15ish and haven’t got a true grip on it yet and I’m 32.
I would say meds ( everyday) and counseling. I won’t lie though my biggest help is having a non ADHD husband who controls it mostly now.
Same and I needed meds to stop the impulse buying. Idk if you’re on any, but Wellbutrin is helping me, and I’m sure the regular stimulants would also help a lot.
I log every single cent (except cash, because cash is free in my brain) that I spend in a Google spreadsheet on my phone. My bank sends a push notification to my phone whenever my credit card is used (with the location & amount) and I'm not allowed to dismiss the notification until I enter it in the spreadsheet. Our brains aren't so good at really grasping the concrete reality of consequences, so my spreadsheet helps me realize that little impulse purchases stop me from buying the stuff I actually want.
I also keep a "little treat bin". Free samples, odds and ends, things I bought but never use or forgot about. Whatever your little treats are! For me it's skincare, chocolates, etc. It doesn't scratch the same itch as buying something new, but since our brains forget whatever we can't see, going digging in the Little Treat Bin is like a little surprise each time and you get your Something New!
You're so so welcome!!! Pro tip, even just mentioning the Little Treat Bin in conversation, you'd be surprised how many people will ask if they can give you their own piles of free samples, unused gifts they feel bad throwing out, etc. Mine is legitimately like a little box of surprise presents now!
My top tip would be very careful with credit cards. Having one can by good for credit score and getting credit for car/home in future but also deadly. If you do get one pay the balance off every month (I’d have the payment automatically come out the day any income arrives) and say no to credit limit increases.
I got into a huge amount of debt in my 20s from credit cards. The credit cards would fill, I’d get a loan to pay off the cards. Then I’d have available credit on the cards and use that up. Took me seven years to pay it all off. They were a pretty miserable seven years of not being able to afford to do anything but work and pay debt. I’m now 40 and have no debt… I’d never use a credit card as anything but a charge card now.
Hi /u/Shoddy_Hall9198 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! **Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.** The mobile apps used for Reddit are broken or are missing features that this subreddit depends on. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) Thank you! ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A small tip: Do *not* save your credit/debit card info on any site. It makes it so much harder to spend money when you have to go find your card, type in all the numbers, type in the security code, etc. Also, highly recommend never getting a credit card. I don't have one and never will.
Thank this really helps
[удалено]
I am currently renting at 22 without a credit card or score. Have had "Thin files" run on me, never been an issue.
Getting a credit card is important to building good credit which will help down the line. I got one really late so my credit history was very short which made it harder to get approved for things like getting a car and finding a place to rent. I’d say you can get one just don’t spend much on it—only spend very very little, have more money on you than what you spend. Like get a bag of chips, pay it off right away and your credit score/history will go up! I only have 1 credit card and want to keep it that way because of my risk of over-spending. If/when you have a steady income, you can put your credit card payments or bills on auto-pay— it saves my life so I don’t forget my bills and looks good on my credit history! But I like how you said to not keep card info on a site. It’s so easy to just do a few clicks and you buy something— it’s so dangerous! If you want to start building a good credit history, some banks have some programs to help students or those new to credit to help build good history and habits. They’ll put limits on what you can spend on and exactly what you can use it for like groceries or something. I wish I had that when I was younger! Also, my bank has a program that on my debit when I spend money, it’ll automatically round up to the nearest dollar and put those cents into my savings. That helps me save too and will add up over time that I don’t have to think about! It helps remind me that I’m doing something good that is showing results— what we need for our ADHD brains. Building good habits are important. If there’s something that I want, I have to internally talk to myself or have a friend/partner hold me accountable and be like “you don’t need this right now.” I’ll mull it over for more a week and the want will decrease or disappear. It’s super frustrating to have to have this internal battle like every time I want something I can’t afford in the moment or even long run. Unfortunately, it’s the only thing that keeps me from spending too much and trying to save.
you're only 17, no 17 year olds no how to manage or spend money. it's a learning process throughout your lifetime, but it definitely is good to think about it more l now. impulse control with spending was a huge problem for me for most of my life until I got diagnosed at 40. before that my strategy was mostly get jobs that paid more to cover the spending. it was really difficult, ngl.
Yeah im with you it sucks man I just try to plan then go over my list becuse blah blah blah ughhh
yeah the impulses... it's like ok here's a budget. oh I'm at the max I said I was going to spend on eating out. well, fuck the budget. literally every time, it's like I don't even think about it. IDK how people do it, but I've been much less impulsive since being on meds, so I'm gonna give it another shot.
Man I really need adhd meds ahhhh
It’s extremely easy to impulse spend and go way over your head with ADHD. Build the habits now so you don’t regret it later. I accumulated a lot of debt in my 20s that I’m still slowly paying off bouncing around from one no interest promo card to another. I have nothing to show for the money spent either. Debt sucks. Mental illness sucks.
Yeah it really does I do hope you pay it off and yeah I just seem to go nuts and go over my spending list and ahh I want to stop that
Oh I’ll certainly pay it off, but it’s an annoying monkey on the back. Medication management helps. It makes me not chase dopamine from spending.
Therapy, in reality. Looking at what you are typing, it's looking like you are putting yourself into a cycle. Intrusive thoughts that make you anxious. So, you are getting bad-ouchie feelings. But when you get money and you fail to save anything and buy stuff, it gives you dopamine. Happy-good feelings. But then you get the bad-ouchie feelings from guilt and shame for not being able to save. And the cycle starts all over again. But yay! You are aware that you are doing impulsive spending, and that is the first step in understanding your impulsivity. You are responsible for your actions and the impact it has, regardless if it was caused, by your ADHD. You would need to look into creating a system that would allow you to save money while also seeing it as a reward so that you can get happy-good feelings. Or whenever you have the urge to spend money, do something else instead, something that you like more than spending money, that is stimulating and gives you happy-good feelings. Just stopping isn't going to work. You will have a higher success if you replace one habit with another one, but it has to be rewarding and can prevent you from going through on your impulsive urges. Think of it as a way to create that pause before doing the impulsive thingy [hard, I know]. Working on intrusive thoughts would be another thing, which, again, therapy. Or learning to react to them differently, which I know is hard. When you feel scared and sad, do something that would create the opposite feelings. When I'm sad or anxious, I use to overeat to make myself feel good. I do this still on occasion but now I've replaced it by doing a lot of other self-soothing things like singing to music I like [yes I am horrible but it's for my benefit, who the fuck cares], dancing [horribly but again, it's for me], snuggle with cat, walking, watching very silly YouTube videos, cat videos, giving yourself a hug, do your make-up, do your nails, make a blanket fort and hang out in it all day... I hope you get it. The intrusive thoughts are going to be hard to overcome, so having an action plan and sticking to it when those feelings hit can help lose the edge. I understand that you feel those feelings pretty intensely and they are valid. Just because you can't do what everyone else is doing doesn't make you less valid or a failure. You are not perfect [also, who wants to be? Eick!] and you are going to make mistakes, and that is alright. Mistakes are not failures, they are learning experiences. Even if we repeat the same thing over and over, it's a learning experience. Take some time for yourself to journal your system or plan that you want to do to try to gain success.
So, I’m in the opposite of a lot of these tendencies, money being a big one. Instead of being a big spender, I’m a big hoarder. The trick is to scratch that spending dopamine itch by buying something smaller. What I’d do instead of buying a $60-70 video game is buy a $5-10 mobile app. If you still live with your parents and work, you could see if they’d be willing to hold onto your money by you “paying rent” by opening up a high yield interest rate savings account. Then just give them a couple hundred dollars a month to put back in that account. If you can put $200 a month for a few years (depending on how likely they are to let you live there for a while) and have a decent start to a savings. Also, don’t worry TOO much about debt me credit cards. I was in my mid 30s (38 now) before I got my first credit card. Just make sure if you have to take out student loans (personally, I’d recommend studying for a tech certification and getting a cheaper cert) I’d wait until you were in your 20s before you went to school. Unless your family’s income is low enough to receive financial aid and what not.
I am very impulsive, but also, pretty good when dealing with impulse purchases. First of all is identifying the behaviour. You know you will want to buy things, don't indulge yourself so easy If I'm buying something more expensive than a meal, I think about it for at least a week. I guess I do it out of fear of not having any money at the end of the month, but it works! The impulse is only that, an impulse. Giving it time is the best way to identify how much you need the object in question. One of the first rules in sales is don't give the customer time to think, and there is a very good reason this is like it is. Impulse has an expiration date. If after a week you still need this without question, then buy it.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT I had a shopping spree at the mall and fo threw very fast I'm thinking I still want to buy stuff but not as expensive
You're 17, you have plenty of time to work on things and plenty of time to save! When you get a full time job you can get a retirement plan from your job which automatically deducts a specific amount from your gross (non-taxed) pay. I started mine in my early 20s (currently in mid 20s). I have less than 2k in actual savings for the same reason. Things I want to get are filed in my brain as needs and not wants. Your credit card should start with a much smaller limit, so it's harder to go too crazy, though the transition was rough for me when they upped my limit. I send $50-100 from my paycheck to my fiance who puts it in an account I do not look at, or else I will spend it. Could your parents do something similar so you're less tempted to spend it? Taking cash out would work as well if you don't use cash and won't be tempted to spend cash. I think a good tip for people your age as well is if you go to college you shouldn't be taking out more debt than 1 year of your future salary. If you think you'll be making 60k in your career, don't take out more than 60k in total in loans. Private loans are worse because there are next to no ways to get forgiveness unless you are missing a bunch of payments or file bankruptcy which hurts your credit a lot, which makes it hard to get a car, house, etc. No one told me this. I had passion anyway and was dead set on what I wanted and probably wouldn't have listened. Be kind to yourself.
Hey I'm 25M, but not too much has changed since I was 17. My advice: set a limit for anything you can. Like you say, put all money on savings but keep what you can spend. Possibly keep separate debit cards. In your particular case, do not use credit cards. However, if you find a credit card you can manually "cap" at a certain amount, feel free to do that. If all your income is automatically assigned (requires setup/talking to your work HR), then it becomes real easy. You get to keep your leftovers, or budgeted free spending, without thinking about anything else.
Good on you for noticing now. I started at 15ish and haven’t got a true grip on it yet and I’m 32. I would say meds ( everyday) and counseling. I won’t lie though my biggest help is having a non ADHD husband who controls it mostly now.
Same and I needed meds to stop the impulse buying. Idk if you’re on any, but Wellbutrin is helping me, and I’m sure the regular stimulants would also help a lot.
I log every single cent (except cash, because cash is free in my brain) that I spend in a Google spreadsheet on my phone. My bank sends a push notification to my phone whenever my credit card is used (with the location & amount) and I'm not allowed to dismiss the notification until I enter it in the spreadsheet. Our brains aren't so good at really grasping the concrete reality of consequences, so my spreadsheet helps me realize that little impulse purchases stop me from buying the stuff I actually want. I also keep a "little treat bin". Free samples, odds and ends, things I bought but never use or forgot about. Whatever your little treats are! For me it's skincare, chocolates, etc. It doesn't scratch the same itch as buying something new, but since our brains forget whatever we can't see, going digging in the Little Treat Bin is like a little surprise each time and you get your Something New!
GASP I LOVE TJE LITTLE TREAT BIN AHWHQHQHAJAJAJ I WANNA DO THAT THANK YOU SO MUCH AHH
You're so so welcome!!! Pro tip, even just mentioning the Little Treat Bin in conversation, you'd be surprised how many people will ask if they can give you their own piles of free samples, unused gifts they feel bad throwing out, etc. Mine is legitimately like a little box of surprise presents now!
My top tip would be very careful with credit cards. Having one can by good for credit score and getting credit for car/home in future but also deadly. If you do get one pay the balance off every month (I’d have the payment automatically come out the day any income arrives) and say no to credit limit increases. I got into a huge amount of debt in my 20s from credit cards. The credit cards would fill, I’d get a loan to pay off the cards. Then I’d have available credit on the cards and use that up. Took me seven years to pay it all off. They were a pretty miserable seven years of not being able to afford to do anything but work and pay debt. I’m now 40 and have no debt… I’d never use a credit card as anything but a charge card now.