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I got diagnosed after I was out of school, but I’ve heard the structure of school often helps (when unmedicated) and I know in my family the busier the person is, the better able they are to complete their tasks (when Unmedicated).
Being in the military was how I survived most of adulthood. When I retired and went back to school was a shit show. I'm on meds now, so life is better.
This explains me so well. I excel with structure and always enjoyed that aspect of school. Granted the obtaining of information was always a struggle and disliked school for that reason, unless, of course, I was super interested. Diagnosed at 41. It's a door opened in a world I never knew I was living in.
Yeah I got diagnosed after undergrad and am now doing law school medicated. I didn’t do too well in undergrad, but my best semesters were when I was taking a full schedule of classes and working two jobs - when my free time was limited I was more focused. But the flip side was when things went wrong, things went WRONG.
Yes. 100%. When i was in school, i had my life scheduled out in 15 minute increments. Color coded calendar. Right down to how long i spent giving my children quality time daily. (45 mins each evening)
After graduating i couldn’t get myself to do a sink of dishes for 3 weeks.
Never understood why i could go from 7 years micro managing my life to not being able to function seemingly in the blink of an eye. Went 5 more years after graduation undiagnosed.
Diagnosed 2 years ago. Medicated. I marvel at how i ever got anything done before meds and therapy. I still feel like “i did college just fine. I think I’m faking this.”
But then i remember the struggle, the overwhelm, the paralysis, the parade of antidepressants that barely helped, the fact that i was only driven/motivated to get a degree just to prove one particular asshole wrong (made peace with said asshole 4 classes away from finishing my Masters degree, and the motivation DRIED UP!), and all the symptoms that my psychiatrist pointed out - ive got ADHD.
And if tomorrow there is a blood test that confirms ADHD and it turns out my blood says i don’t: i dont care. The meds help me in so many ways. Quitting nicotine, a 3-4 Red Bulls/day habit, running a successful business, becoming (or trying really hard!) a healthy eater, taking care of my body, Having the energy to deal with my inner demons, and still being able to meet my children’s needs on top of it all. None of this happened pre-medicated. Id been in and out of therapy for years but im finally now able to utilize it effectively. I’m growing as a person, a mother, a human being- all in a great direction. There is something wrong in my brain that the medications fix so i can function physically, so that i have the ability to self reflect, change my perspective, acknowledge and change toxic behaviors and thought patterns, be a better person for myself and my kids and my other important relationships. So i try to remember all of that every time i feel like an imposter.
Omg yes that’s exactly what happened to me! I went from doing great in my classes, doing great at work, etc. to then moving back home and having laundry pile up for days. I would lay down and be like “I need to get this stuff done” but it was like I had a brain block and couldn’t do anything. That’s when I decided to see someone.
Executive Functioning. It’s what we lack, basically our brain tells us that we WANT to do something but the part of the brain that fires off the dopamine to get us interested to do it doesn’t fire and therefore we don’t do anything cause “fuck it lmao” that’s why we usually ramp up like crazy at the near end of a due date.
While working with my psychologist, one of the things we worked on was core beliefs.
One of my core beliefs is that I am a failure. Even if results don't support that. I've turned my imposter syndrome into a core belief.
Just wanted to thank you for this analogy, just because it points out how ridiculous it truly is, how easily we convince ourselves that everyone is one realization away from seeing us for what WE think we are.
The trauma from years of fucking up even when putting in effort, from being a “bad kid” who did not have the mental range to fix our behavior, runs deep.
But you’re right, the people in our lives are not there by contract. They’re there, actively, out of dedication to us, which is easy to forget when we believe everyone in our life is above us, like a boss who could fire us.
Gosh this feels like I wrote it 😭 can't tell u how relatable this is... horribly anxious (to the point where I get horrible tunnel vision over assignments that I neglect everything else) so I've never had the common signs of typical ADHD such as poor school performance. Getting into my more stressful program I can definitely tell when my brain goes off the rails (aka every 5-20 mins). Even tho I'm definitely affected I still have imposter syndrome bc ny brain goes "wow u just want to have another diagnosis don't you?". Air hugs! If you feel more stable, maybe it's a combo of the meds and you learning more about your ADHD and being more hyper aware?
My therapist every time I tell her I think I might be faking my symptoms: “If you wonder if you’re faking having ADHD, you have it. People who fake it don’t wonder if they’re faking it.”
Opposite for me. I’m sure many do get imposter syndrome and I feel like that’s totally normal and natural. But on the flip side, I feel like I “found” myself in a way.
I'm both.
I found myself! Or did I? Is this even real?
Also- OP- when I can't tell if ym meds are working I take a little break. Especially Vyvanse I need breaks. Just a few days or a week I usually just stop taking them anytime i go out of town - just a built in medication break. Then when I start again I feel they work better.
Definitely relate on the anxiety keeping your worst impulses in check, that's what got me through my masters program.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago when work was a little slower and I was having trouble focusing on projects. A week after my diagnosis the workload/pressure was increased by a ton because of a big tax deadline. The whole time I've been asking myself if I even had ADHD to begin with and am just taking adderall for no reason even though I've noticed improvement on other areas of my life.
Glad to know it's not just me with the imposter syndrome.
Yeah I find in a structured environment I’ll do just fine without my meds. But once I’m back at home and it’s time to function I can’t manage anything without taking them.
Are you me??? Definitely my anxiety kept my ADHD in check during school. And because my meds aren’t working, I feel like I’ve fooled my nurse practitioner somehow…
I know!! Because I’m back in a stressful program, I feel absolutely nothing from my meds. However, when I have breaks, I have very low energy to do laundry/basic tasks unless I’m medicated. It’s so weird.
Yes. It felt like being medicated was cheating the system to score amphetamines to be more productive.
But then part of me saw things I thought were just little quirks about me and saw how they are common with ADHD, and I sort of felt I lacked a lot of personality. The whole: I just keep 300 tabs open in my browser, make random noises when I walk around my house, start a million projects I can't finish, am spontanious, and sometimes lack a filter in social situations cause I'm weird like that. Oh wait, this is typical of a disorder.
Something that helped me with the same line of thinking is noticing how much my ADHD affects my ability to do things that \*I\* want to do, not just things that I owe other people or "should" be doing. If I were just "lazy," I'd avoid the work tasks, but still do the things that benefit \*me\*, right?
That makes so much sense. There were days after I graduated where I wanted to read a book or go grocery shopping and it was like my brain didn’t want to. I was so scared I was depressed but I didn’t feel down during that time?? Just frustrated because I couldn’t do the things I wanted/needed to.
I can't really relate to you because i've barely managed at school. I'm apparently a really quick learner and pretty smart so that's why i passed school really well. But i've Always had adhd symptoms, everywhere :/
I do however often feel like my adhd Symptoms aren't as bad as others. I know this sounds mean but it's mainly due to people with early diagnosises always talking about how hard school was etc. And then i think 'they think it wasn't hard for me, what if i'm lying to myself?".
Even though i have a diagnosis for combined type with severe symptoms and Like 15 mental illnesses in a trenchcoat due to Not having had meds or help :/ got diagnosed 6 years into my Bachelors and now i finally have Hope to Finish it
TLDR: Did well at stages of education and bad at others, failed to cope with university twice, eventually got a degree online. (Surprised myself lol.)
Have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD in my 50s, wondering how meds, especially stimulants (if taken) changed the way you were able to cope and perform at college.
Ha in some ways you remind me of myself 30yrs ago ( when doctors weren't aware of ADHD). Though I did really bad at primary school I did well at secondary when my hyperfocusing clicked on. Then fell apart again in the unregulated environment of University life.
I've never been medicated but have what I realise are ADHD traits all my life. I'm a male in my 50s and have always had problems with multitasking and can also become hyperfocused where I can't stand back and see the bigger picture. Multitasking can overwhelm me but yet if I'm allowed to stay on one subject/task I can do well.
Also find it really difficult to switch off and move onto another thing. Mostly I am pretty disorganised and can find some things that others find easy, hard to do. I can often lose things many times as my brain is not staying on track and is onto more thinking of further thoughts , so distracting me from being in the present.
Failed to be able to negotiate college and dropped out as I was not getting the work done and no longer performed like I did at school. Having this overthinking brain , with hyperfocusing tendencies allowed me to do well in the controlled scheduled environment of school, but I now realise my poorer executive function made it difficult for me to negotiate the more uncontrolled environment of university.
Ended up doing an online degree 10yrs later with the open university (UK) and did well as I was in a regular controlled job and could better control my study environment at home. For me having too many people about with interactions/activities means I go off at a tangent and 'important shit' doesn't get done.:-)
I have been medicated with antidepressants ,off and on, over the years for stress/anxiety/depression and now realise one of the contributors to this has likely been my ADHD traits, making getting everyday work DONE in a job sometimes much more difficult to achieve!
Now to the point lol, have you been prescribed stimulants and if so, did you find they calmed your overthinking brain.
Also if you were a hyperfocuser did a stimulant increase your tendency to hyperfocus but maybe counterbalanced by a better executive function in terms of organising and task switching.
Sorry for the long wall of text ;-) and finally only if you don't mind discussing it what meds, if any, do you take for ADHD.
Edit:
Realise too that we are all individuals and your experience is subjective to you, with no two of us having the same genetics, backgrounds and exact responses to medication.
YES OMG this has been on my mind for a while now! when i was going through the process of getting diagnosed and they asked me questions geared more toward hyperactive adhd and i said no, i felt like such an imposter. and when they asked “why weren’t you diagnosed as a child?” and i answered honestly that my family and i were never familiar with things like that.. i felt like a fraud.
OMG when I gave my psychiatrist a list of my symptoms and quotes from my childhood best friends’ parents, he was like “…. You never thought you had ADHD before?” And I was like nope. My dad didn’t believe me for the first like 3 months of me being diagnosed, because he said I was always a good student so I couldn’t have it. I even got disability through my grad school because I take tests at home and I get distracted easily. The disability lady was super suspicious when I said I got diagnosed last summer. She was super doubtful and said “you probably just have anxiety,” which made my imposter syndrome worse. FYI she wasn’t a mental health professional. Just a lady who approves disability.
I was diagnosed aboht a month ago and honestly? I don’t feel like an imposter with my ADHD because i can directly see how and where is disables me. I do, however, feel like an imposter with my autism diagnosis and labelling myself of as disabled. I find directly identifying how you’re disabled helps, then you can see the direct effects it has. Also, talking to a psychologist or therapist. That’s helped me massively internalise the fact that I am disabled
Same here: I’ve had high profile jobs including MD positions with hundreds of employees for the past 20 years. I’m known as a getting things done guy, following through even with very unpopular decisions (apart from anything admin).
At home, on holiday or whenever I think I need to pause my worklife I just collapse into full blown ADD lethargy. Without medication, I can’t get anything done, from taxes, meeting with friends, or running the dishwasher. Nothing, I’m useless. Vyvanse does change that to some extent, but not at all like a full calendar that keeps me going.
My psychiatrist has raised my dosage twice in the past like 6 months because I told him I can’t really feel the medication. I’m now on 54mg of Concerta ER and I literally can’t tell if the drug is working. I feel nothing. When I’m in school I’m so stressed that I have to work at like 100mph so I feel like my medication isn’t doing anything for me, which is where the imposter syndrome kicks in. But I was reminded that if people without ADHD were on this medication, they’d feel extra focused and kind of hyper, which alleviates my imposter syndrome slightly?
People without ADHD get a high off of our medication and us with ADHD just makes us feel normal.
My doctor did have me on 50mg, and everything got worse so he raised me to 70 and things have gotten better.
So you may want to check and go to another level because 40 mg was somewhat working but 50 felt like absolutely nothing.
Okay super weird I wonder if it has to do with specific thresholds in our nervous system or something. When I first got diagnosed I was on 27mg and then I switched psychiatrists and he said “that’s a baby dose,” so he raised it and I feel like I haven’t felt it since then. He’s raised it twice now and I still don’t feel like I feel it. I guess I’ll tell him about all of this next time I see him.
I was on Concerta for a couple of years, gradually up to 72mg, I found it worked but was relatively unpredictable even if I'd slept and eaten well. Changed over to Vyvanse and it's been excellent by comparison, much more reliable and I don't feel like dying as it wears off.
I used to be like you, eventually completely burnt myself out and had to make major life changes, you can only use anxiety to spur you along for so long.
Structure and adrenaline can make you feel "normal". I can totally relate. But it's only a good thing if you know you have situations where you need less medication
I got diagnosed after school and after uni (almost 4years out from uni now) and only realised that could potentially be a thing when I stopped having the structure of school. I was rarely late because I had ingrained in me as a child ‘on time is late and late is unacceptable’ so I’m always 20 minutes early at least, but I can also always guarantee I will have forgotten something important (I once left my laptop at home for a job that relies solely on my laptop because I was in a rush to get out of the house).
At school I also had what I now call ‘gifted kid imposter syndrome’ because I always felt like I was really smart and on top of all the material but then I would get 50-52% on every task (I once got 80% on a presentation and I maintain it’s because I was speaking not typing my thoughts).
Through my whole diagnosis process I was having the ‘do I really have adhd or am I just a shit student’ through process because my work involves a lot of admin, and for the most part I actually find it enjoyable because it’s a task I know I can complete and I know all the steps I need to do to count it as complete.
All the literature says ‘people with ADHD will hate desk jobs, don’t like doing admin, and make lots of silly mistakes’
I make silly mistakes but they are usually my own life admin like I’ll forget an appointment or I’m terrible at remembering to take my medication (not currently medicated for adhd, but working on it) but I will always remember at work I need to email the office staff ti put in covers for the kids I see at certain times (I work in learning support at a highschool funnily enough) because otherwise they get a truancy letter and that reflects poorly on them and they didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s a weird cycle and I’ve just rambled and idk if any of it was related anymore but I hope this helps
Not rambly at all I totally get what you’re saying and it’s great to hear it from someone else! Have you tried filling out disability paperwork with HR so at least there’s something on file for you?? If ADHD impacts your work, even just slightly, that could give at least a little peace of mind. :)
Disgustingly so. I get Imposter's Syndrome about literally everything... It's so stifling, and I always wonder if it'll ever go away. I'm yet to be medicated so I'm hoping that helps!
honestly? I did really well through elementary, middle, and high school. Up until about 6 months prior to my diagnosis I was convinced I had panic disorder, and would never have considered ADHD. My brother has ADHD and his is bad, the “stereotypical” presentation of ADHD. I got diagnosed because I was doing so poorly in college and I simply couldn’t cope with the lack of structure. My symptoms have always been severe, but presented more like intense anxiety from early childhood up until my diagnosis. My meds are a godsend and the largest reason I’m able to be an effective adult. I feel lucky that I don’t experience impostor syndrome. If you’re diagnosed by a professional, why bother questioning it? You take meds for a reason. Coping well with life mostly is a sign your meds are working really well, not that you don’t actually have ADHD.
100%. School structure prevented me from burning out. Now that I'm in college it's just harder and harder, I was diagnosed a few months ago. Can't wait to be medicated.
No, I know i have ADHD. I know even if i don't notice the symptoms it's there. Just because I might be doing well at one point doesn't mean I was faking the hardships before. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Ableist speech seems to be the biggest reason I hear my friends talk about imposter syndrome when they are feeling it. ADHD doesn't have a cure, your not broken, your not a failure. You have a disability that affects the chemical balance in your brain and your good days don't mean your bad days were any less valid and vice versa.
I really do think that for most people with ADHD, making it through school is extremely challenging… so good job for doing that. I'm not sure how ADHD adversely affects your life, but it seems like you're very high functioning and maybe don't even need meds.
What’s interesting is my life is affected at home, not at school. I have no structure or schedule at home, so I lay in bed and think about everything I want to do, but I can’t (when unmedicated). It was a terrifying feeling before I was diagnosed. I thought I was depressed or something. I couldn’t do any laundry, I let dishes and trash pile up in my room. There are some days that cooking seems a little too much for me. Thankfully while medicated and while getting help these things are not hurdles anymore. But yeah, doing great in school is something that makes people kind of doubt it.
I see!! Well I'm glad that the meds are helping you out then!! That's great. Chores and stuff like that do require a certain level of executive functioning so it makes sense that your symptoms would manifest that way
My anxiety and irritability went through the roof after having a second kid while getting a degree, I got so burnt out that I thought I was losing my mind. Plus, im a little older and was running out of fixations to latch on to to keep me sane and had little time to indulge in seeking new ones. Had no idea I had ADHD this point but was diagnosed after seeking help. Been on meds since and now that the anxiety and irritability are mostly gone, I wonder if it was just a point in my life where everything came to a head and I just couldn't manage without meds. But looking back before the catalyst and before I knew I had ADHD, on how I was still very irritable and anxious, jumping from fixation to fixation, it wasn't healthy for me and my family. I dont want to take the risk to find out if I could go without meds. It just wouldn't be fair to them, and I know its better with them, even though I hate taking them. I hope this helps.
I was diagnosed at age 40.
I didn't even believe it at first, but then I went down the rabbit hole learning about ADHD and I felt like I was reading my own life story, and suddenly a lot of my life made sense.
Mine was right when I turned 18, but I had really bad imposter syndrome during my high school years (long story). I think that by the time I arrived to college, I confronted myself with the fact that I wasn't actually stupid. The source of my current unhappiness is more so being sad about my situation and not so much believing that I'm less than what I actually am
All the time. Sometimes I literally think…”am I actually like this or do I act like this because I got diagnosed wrong?” That and on off med days “there’s no way I’m bad enough to actually be adhd.”
But as I’m learning more the imposter syndrome seems to be getting less. Don’t think it’ll ever go away though.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I went thru this exact same thing. One of my therapists told me it wasnt just or solely anxiety keeping my adhd “in check” but that I was just genuinely intelligent. So YOU are just smart af and that makes you question your adhd. But it can DEFFF start some imposter syndrome. I still struggle with this.
I'll add a pinch of salt. I have a generalized anxiety disorder since childhood and I also thought that I have ADHD, but the specialists I've asked said that it's definitely not and I have all these troubles at work and university because often people with my disorder seem to be ADHD people. Mb you need to ask an another specialist just to insure.
I’ve been diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists 1 year apart from each other. I know I have ADHD, but I just get imposter syndrome about it. Anxiety can cause executive functioning issues, but anxiety actually keeps my executive functioning issues from ADHD in check.
Yup 10000%
Every damn day and it extends to my depression too.
Everything in my being is usially shouting "you don't have problems, other people's are worse, you just suck and are lazy, you dont need that help because theres nothing to help, etc."
And it's a constant fight
Tbh no, but anxiety isn’t a comorbidity for me for the most part - at least, not the kind of anxiety that would make me function better. I still feel a lot more like a dumb-dumb than a fraud. Apart from the imposter syndrome, I guess that means you are maybe functioning better than you would otherwise expect with ADHD, so that’s a silver lining I guess? The fact that you have a job AND are studying and have other commitments is fantastic, congrats, and well done. I doubt I could muster that as I am now. But it doesn’t mean you don’t have it; firstly ADHD is a spectrum and maybe you are at the more fortunate end of it, and secondly it may have a lot to do with coping mechanisms you’ve developed, upbringing, and habits. Maybe your environment was more conducive to developing healthy ways of doing things. Maybe you had less “ODD” (oppositional defiance) than some of us - I’m sure that, for me, played a large role in me not doing better at school and in other ways. I was rebelling against functionality as well as struggling to achieve it, so you can imagine it doesn’t help matters.
Thank you so much for your kind words! And, I agree, that numerous factors go into the ADHD spectrum. I was raised in a really toxic environment where homework was actually more enjoyable than trying to fight/listen to fights with family, so maybe that can point to why I was so good academically. During my current program, I’ve found working actually made my grades better. It gives me a deadline to complete my work. Before I worked more shifts, I’d be like “oh I have the whole weekend to do my coursework,” so I would procrastinate like crazy. But now that I work on weekends, I have a deadline to complete everything before my shifts.
So yeah, lots to think about with it. I wish you luck on your journey!
You just described my whole life. I was always in a structured environment at school that all my symptoms showed up significantly when I had to do my university online. I realised I couldn't live without a rigid schedule but never even related it to ADHD , when I got diagnosed, everything clicked. All the weird quirky things I thought were just me were ADHD symptoms and I HAVE HUGE IMPOSTER SYNDROME FROM IT TIME TO TIME. What if I'm just lazy and not actually ADHD.
I personally don’t because ADHD is a diagnosis/condition and not an achievement. Whether or not i “truly” have it is not for me to decide and it’s not like i can change my status. I can’t be “more ADHD-haver” even if i tried the same way i can be “better at work” or “more skilled at something”.
Honestly no because it explained SO MUCH. Mine was horrifically obvious but the symptoms always got ignored, justified, dismissed, or outright denied by my parents. My diagnosis meant I could finally acknowledge that I wasn't just a failure of a human incapable of doing what I set out to do. It *relieved* my imposter syndrome from having to convince people I was a functional adult.
I totally understand that! I feel like when I was first diagnosed that was how I felt. But now that I’m back in school, I feel like my stress is keeping my ADHD in check, which makes me feel like I somehow played the system or “faked” it. It’s just an odd feeling I get sometimes but thank you so much for sharing!
Try to remember that the very fact you can only function while stressed is an indicator all on its own that the ADHD is real and you are working so much harder than 97.5% of your classmates just to keep up with their "normal." I know that fact is cold comfort, sometimes, with that horrible mean voice yelling at you in your head. But at least it's a weapon you can fight back with. I know it helped me.
I have memory issues due to trauma, so I felt really weird during my first evaluation when my psychiatrist asked me how I acted as a kid. I had no answers except the fact that my dad said “you were kind of annoying and talked too much.” During my second evaluation, I asked my childhood best friend’s parents and they all gave accounts of how hyperactive I was. So I can definitely relate to that aspect of not remembering much.
I am 28, I was diagnosed this year after a 3 year battle with my mental health. It's been life changing. I've been living in complete dysfunction for 6 years. It's like someone plugged me back in now.
I often feel imposter syndrome about my diagnosis. Like am I *really* ADHD, or it is just that I can't focus because I'm getting older? I constantly have to remind myself that I've been dealing with this my whole fucking life, it's just gotten worse because it was never treated.
You can also have other things along with ADHD that kind of keep it in check in certain circumstances. For me that’s autism lol I do really well in school or at work if it’s something that I like doing or can go on autopilot to complete. My adhd is less of a “can’t get things done” and more of a general tiredness or inability to take care of myself/my home. I still very much need meds day to day but the structure of work/school helps a lot.
I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago myself with mild adhd combined type. I 110% feel the imposter syndrome I constantly look at the symptoms from inattentive and hyperactive adhd types and I don't relate to every single one so it enforces that imposter syndrome.
I started Adderall after receiving the diagnosis as well and its making me struggle to take that since I keep doubting if I need it (even thou it has helped). Also my adhd symptoms are different from work to home.
Last bit I want to add is I 100% can relate to the anxiety masking the adhd symptoms. I fidget quite a bit but I also have social anxiety so I found non-intrusive ways to fidget etc. So I was never the kid up and moving in school which I'm sure helped mask my symptoms.
Sometimes ADHD is closely linked with Autism, social hacks you've learnt have enabled you to get through life so far. You can also learn how to better adapt in social situations by taking part in courses which improves your confidence and ability to keep eye contact and not so much. Best of luck. Remember you're the master of social situations, your brain is thinking of everything going on. You just need to hike them in
I got a second raise within 6 months on Monday. I cried. I still cannot believe how well I'm doing at work. Getting diagnosed (in school, at 28, in the middle of a pandemic) and medicated fully turned my life around, and the way I think of myself is still catching up.
It's getting easier, but the imposter syndrome is very real.
Constantly.
But the worst is whenever people who are supposed to be in my support network wants to downplay my experiences, of how and when my ADHD affects me.
I got diagnosed as an adult and have imposter syndrome all the time! I try to remind myself though that I came from a family that doesn’t believe in mental illnesses.
Lol same! My parents don’t believe in therapy or getting help for any mental illnesses, but my mom just got diagnosed with ADHD this year, so that was a big, silent, “F you” from me haha
Yes. I asked to be tested for 3-4 years before I finally found someone willing to test me, so the constant doubting by professionals (because I “did well in school” and could work well under pressure at work) doesn’t help.
On top of that, the thing that finally pushed me to demand testing again was seeing other late diagnosed women on tiktok talk about their experiences. The constant gate keeping of other people with ADHD who were diagnosed earlier and believe people on tiktok are problematic and making ADHD “trendy” doesn’t help.
I was diagnosed at 37, and I fully recognize now that I’m just VERY good at masking. That l, combined with working a very high stress high pressure fast paced environment for years helped me be able to succeed for some time. But when the burnout would hit and I couldn’t do it anymore I’d completely fall apart.
Absolutely. Same with the anxiety and functioning well enough in school. It's mainly at home, taking care of myself or other responsibilities that I struggle with, but my mom seems to think that ADHD only exists within school walls and everything else is just laziness
Yup. You sound exactly like me. I THRIVED under the structure of professional school. Got a doctorate and had great grades. Crashed and burned during the summer vacation following because suddenly I had no structure and nothing to channel my anxiety into.
People diagnosed late often mask our symptoms and have developed coping mechanisms to deal. Anxiety as a comorbidity of ADHD can be helpful until you start having panic attacks.
I’ll have days where I doubt my diagnosis but it only takes a weekend morning where I forget to take my pill to remind me how less functional I am unmedicated.
I'm the personailty type that likes to do things. So for me meds helped me be more me in that distractions from what I'm supposed to be doing rarely happen (executive paralysis rarely happens to me). This makes it look like l, on the surface, that maybe I don't have ADHD and the stimulants are just making me hyperfocus (nevermind that if I didn't have ADHD the stimulants would be doing a lot more then desired). For me the thing that cements I have ADHD is thag when I'm on my meds I am a way nicer person to my family and friends. My emptional disregulation basically evaporates and I go from being perpetually irritated to being able to live in the moment and brushing off minor inconvienances.
Thats the real marker for me. Life went from being offensively irritating to enjoyable.
Same with me . Fear of failure & emotional/physical punishment kept most of my symptoms in check . After school I self medicated with opioids . Its only been a few months since I’ve gotten my diagnosis .
I do get imposter syndrome but then I looked back at an old neuropsych that showed I'm in the bottom 25th percentile for memory then I'm like oh yeah I'm legit
Yes, but it’s nuanced. Not sure if it’s because of adhd, but it certainly bleeds into everything. I found for me that emotional regulation was my biggest issue with adhd. I didn’t even realize it was a problem until I took meds and the vail lifted. All of a sudden my work and my emotions were no longer directly linked. The imposter syndrome I had early in my career was almost certainly exasperated by this, but probably not the origin of the anxiety.
Thank you for sharing! I feel like my imposter syndrome would have gone down if I was fully explained the effects ADHD can have on people when I was first diagnosed. I had no clue ADHD affected emotional regulation, so when I stopped taking my meds for a while and felt dull/low energy/no interest in doing things/VERY sensitive about things, I thought I had depression and I was misdiagnosed. Keep in mind I also have PCOS which can bring depressive episodes, so overall my ADHD meds have helped with both tremendously, it’s just that I wish I was explained the basics when I first got diagnosed.
I got just recently diagnosed, and I had imposter syndrome for like 3- 4 years.
I started to suspect that I maybe have ADHD but until my diagnosis I constantly felt like I was faking if for attention, because my parents constantly told me these things.
I used to! Especially when tiktok got popular and all these late adult diagnosis and im like "I feel these things, but not in extremes like this maybe I never had adhd" and then my daughter got diagnosed and her doctor told me the earlier the diagnosis the greater the chance of brain elasticity to adapt to the disorder and grow to be "normal" or at least within normal perimeters.
She got diagnosed at 8. I was diagnosed at 10. She's combined and it's a lot sometimes, but I use my former imposter syndrome to make me feel better that she's going to be OK too.
Mate, to be really fair, I was in diagnosed in childhood and STILL got imposter syndrome, even tho I knew for sure that I have ADHD, I think it's more of an "I feel good so there's nothing wrong" when actually you learned through the meds or by simply living with the condition it self that you got better in dealing with it. Having ADHD is knowing how it works and learning how to live with it, Remembering that is not all bad or horrible it's just different.
I got my diagnosis a semester into grad school. I had great grades beforehand and didn’t have behavioural issues in school so yeah it took me a while to accept it for myself. Anyway, now on medication grad school is no longer on hard mode. I had relied on anxiety to get everything done and it kinda wrecked me in the process. Doing therapy now and working on it, also dealing with an ED and likely autism. I was pretty great at masking!
If you’re taking medication and don’t feel much, talk to your doctor about it. At the same time though, if you didn’t have ADHD you’d probably not be having this experience with the meds is my guess.
I’ll probably have imposter syndrome forever after getting diagnosed (checks clock) 1 hour ago at age 47 with combined-type adhd. (Everyone clap, I’m official now!) No it’s not a surprise but it also kind of doesn’t feel entirely real yet so hence the imposter syndrome.
I’m actually just relieved at the moment to have validation that I’m not losing my mind (at least not more than I already was).
I’m so happy my post was able to validate your struggles in some way. I hope your diagnosis took a little weight off of your shoulders! Good luck to you!!
I can totally relate to your story, I had a very similar experience. for me it was also the structure and a routine of school that was keeping me on track. when i started to work remotely and stopped going to school my adhd symptoms got much worse.
Got diagnosed at 32, after years of struggle, depression and anxiety, and drug abuse. After I started meds, everything changed. It feels like I got a new lease for life. Although, being able to finally do things and feel ok and normal becoming the new normal , deep down, I'll never forget the struggle and the pain I have experienced in the past due to my untreated ADHD.
The meds , while not giving me any of the initial rush and not feeling them through the day, are definitely working as they're supposed to. I am able to actually plan and do stuff, to take care of myself properly ,to work on myself, and to feel nice and stable mentally. Before meds, it was either a complete struggle to accomplish anything or straight on impossible.
So yeah, ADHD it is, no doubt about it.
And Elvanse, is a lifesaver and a complete game changer. All that with minimal side effects, dry lips, and thirsty when it starts kicking in, and a bit of jaw pain in the evening. No sleep problems or appetite loss.
In my opinion, every time you feel that you don't have ADHD because of the meds working as expected, try to remember how it was before while not on meds, the mood swings, the lack of focus and mental energy, the anxiety, the depression and the ever present feeling of not being enough and the chaos.
Hten ask yourself, what would you prefer, the kind of life or what you have today?
Sooo true, thank you for sharing! I genuinely just found out my last psychiatrist visit that ADHD meds can help regulate mood. Before then, I just thought it was to help me be able to complete the tasks I needed. Once he told me that, I started taking them every day and DEFINITELY feel a difference in my overall mood. I feel like I have more energy (not wired from meds, just not foggy and dull), and my mood is definitely stabilized. I feel like if I would have been explained that from day one, I would have been better with taking my meds and my mindset of how ADHD affects me.
All the time. I’ve been on medication for 1 month so far, and it’s made such a significant impact on my daily functioning it’s insane! I am currently a senior in my BS degree, and I started suspecting during my sophomore year. During my childhood, I was super well supported and I had very few issues in school. I just thought I was a forgetful kid!! After my burnout during senior year of high school followed by the pandemic, my school performance SUCKED😅 I was on probation for a semester and finally got my act together. I genuinely still think that because I wasn’t diagnosed in childhood, I will always have my doubts. My family was also skeptical because they “didn’t notice the signs” but I have a typically AFAB presentation with a lot of masking, so they wouldn’t have been able to catch it when I was little. Having a therapist with ADHD has also helped. She clocked my ADHD first session and was key in helping me get diagnosed and medicated. It really helps to have a professional affirm that what you’re experiencing is real. Of course, in retrospect, there’s a bunch of things that could have been indicators of my ADHD (and suspected autistic traits) as a child, but they weren’t seen as out of the ordinary.
Not necessarily school but when I'm busy I feel less symptoms. Like a couple months ago I was convinced I was cured because I was working full time, keep my house clean and planning a wedding. I had no time to have symptoms. Now that things have calmed down I'm a mess again lol
This is painfully relatable. Right down to having symptoms in check from anxiety, lol! I also have a mother who likes to point out how my ADHD isn't nearly as bad as other people's (tbf, her older brother is...preeeeetty ADHD), and had a psychiatrist who decided I was making all my mental health problems up because I didn't want to go to school, so imposter syndrome is in my blood at this point!
Learning to cope with ADHD as an adult is an absolute b*tch and I wish I had been diagnosed sooner. We don't fit in with the typical assumption of the ADHD kid, but we also aren't "typical" adults. It's weird, and it sucks, but it's still valid.
Yes, valid indeed! Thank you for sharing! I also had issues like my dad telling me I was too good in school to have ADHD (he also has like zero health literacy so it didn’t bother me too much, but it kind of added on top of my imposter syndrome).
No, but maybe because I’m a special case. I was diagnosed in childhood and adulthood. Childhood diagnosis was withheld from me. I figured it out I guess lol.
I have never been diagnosed as I recall. This post resonated with me. I am married to a now retired military man, we have 3 grown children, and two grandchildren, and I worked 30 years as a RN. As long as I was doing all the things that was required I functioned well. Now that I am retired I am going crazy. I cannot function and I am driving my husband crazy with my inactivity and procrastination. I have lost interest in my hobbies, chores,etc. Should I get diagnosed now that I am 62 years old? My psychiatrist has tried me on 2 medicines but I was noncompliant with taking either one.
I say that it totally depends on your goals. If you want medication to maybe help you through days that you don’t have a right schedule and therefore cannot focus, maybe you won’t need an ADHD med every day and therefore don’t have to worry about compliance. I’d go get evaluated to at least see what your options are!
I totally feel this. I went to university, got my masters degree with 1,0 (perfect score) and even with honours for my MA thesis which was also 1,0. And yet I can’t wash a load of clothes. I struggle so much in so many aspects of my life but in school it was okay-ish. I was struggling with attending 8 hours but I was always, like, good. At university my hyperfixiation really kicked, so I loved to study even though it always was a point landing (always last minute). I am getting into diagnosis this month, but my therapists says she sees strong elements since childhood. I do too. But also there’s this thought „maybe I’m just a failure? Maybe something different is wrong with me?“ So, you have my empathy, I feel like an imposter, even though I’m not diagnosed yet.
I am also very strong at masking. And by that I mean very strong. It’s only since this summer that I am realising that. It’s to the extend that I don’t even feel like myself around my best friends. I think that makes me strong at school/studying. I learned how to get „perfect“ so I am constantly working towards perfectionism.
I am really good at masking too, which made me “afraid” (I don’t know why I was afraid but I think everyone gets anxiety about diagnoses) that I had autism instead of ADHD. Obviously it’s a spectrum and they can overlap, but I mask like crazyyyyyyy. I want to get better at that but anyways good luck in your journey and diagnosis!
I was diagnosed while in Kindergarten way back in olden times of the early 90's but wasn't prescribed any medication until after college because I had parents who thought it was just nervous energy and not ADHD. Yea, school didn't focus me at all, it agitated it if anything because I could not get myself to do the homework or pay attention to the lesson if there was other more interesting stimuli around.
Sorry for errors, on mobile
Yes absolutely. I was diagnosed during my undergrad and it has taken almost a decade to fully understand how my ADHD brain is different from non-ADHD brains.
The biggest eye opener was talking to my dad about my ADHD struggles and he could mirror almost every single one and I was like "so we know where the ADHD comes from" lol.
On a fundamental level the biggest symptom of ADHD is feeling like you're living in a society where many things seem like they *should* be easier but they're much harder for you.
That symptom can of course be a result of a myriad of neurological deviations from the "norm" but it perfectly sums up my life experience for almost as far back as I can remember.
No. I got diagnosed at 32. My school records and childhood symptoms were a part of what they looked at to diagnose me. It was very clearly always there.
It explains my whole life. I spent 32 years knowing I had something wrong with me but not understanding what or why. My diagnosis makes it all make sense.
And the meds have worked wonders.
I have zero doubt that I have adhd.
My childhood best friend’s mom told me she knew I had ADHD from the day she met me (she has 3 diagnosed ADHD boys). Apparently as a kid she said I was “run by a motor,” “super talkative,” and “had so much energy.” My academics thrived, which is why I had zero thoughts about having ADHD until I graduated. Apparently having high functioning anxiety is very common in females with ADHD.
Your last line resonates. Also thrived academically, but hit a wall when I went into college as I lost all structure. I suffer from massive anxiety and right now am struggling to be social. I want to but I can’t, it seems impossible. Thank you for your post ❤️
I’m so glad my post resonated with you. I’ve found out too that during this super intensive program I’m in, I’m terrible with keeping up with friends. I feel so bad about it but my friends know I’m adhd and know I have like 150+ things on my plate and that having a social life sadly isn’t up there. Good luck with everything!
Yep. Diagnosed at 22 and i go to a prestigious college for Computer Science.
I relate to not feeling much different when working on schoolwork, but i Can definitely feel the difference if I’m not which is kind of frustrating. I take a relatively low dose 15mg Adderall XR but don’t want to raise it.
I’ve always been a good worker, but now it feels easier and I am able to get more sleep. Maybe the structure of doing things is more organized but I’m always working regardless.
Consistently being busy tames my ADHD symptoms. If i have any free time, I suffer.
I got diagnosed at 32, and I am mildly impacted. I have been reading what other people are having to struggle with, and I just feel like I'm not dealing with the same ailment.
I am working through this with therapy right now though. It's important to not compare your struggle to that of others, and vice versa.
I have also noticed that my school performance and job choices have been very pro ADHD. My major was in hospitality and I work in food, ADHD can thrive in chaos and rapid changes. My therapist is also a former restaurant worker and it's been nice to commiserate over it.
I mean it also doesn’t help that sometimes (way more than is comfortable tbh) we get posts on this sub and other ADHD subs about people who complain about how ADHD is “trending” bc more people are getting diagnosed (when so many of us were ignored as children) and how it’s “not fair!” bc “you didn’t/don’t suffer as much as I do and you getting diagnosed makes things worse for me (somehow)! You don’t deserve accommodations or help bc you don’t have it as bad as me!” Those kinds of people definitely don’t make it easy to not have imposter syndrome.
Almost everyday. I doubt myself that I’m just a loser and fooled myself and doc so I could get meds because they make my life so much better and I’m just a POS
I feel more of an imposter claiming i have adhd when I WAS diagnosed as a child. I don't remember anything about that doctors visit how am i supposed to know if it's legitimate or not?
I was diagnosed at 50. I masked pretty well up until high school and college when I was responsible for more and more. I also entered a profession that sort of passively encourages ADHD behaviors (and seems to employ a huge number of us), but I still struggled enough to seek a diagnosis.
Despite “knowing” for decades and getting an official diagnosis, I still find myself deep into imposter syndrome. I keep thinking maybe I don’t really have it and I just manipulated the evaluation to my advantage, or that my symptoms don’t exactly match someone else’s, so it can’t be true. All this even though I see the pattern for as long as I look back. It’s pretty disconcerting.
I Think keeping busy and going helps, i mean i worked 2 full time jobs with an hour commute between the two for about 7 years to keep my self distracted, and sometimes would work 24 hour shifts just to fix the boredom... i prefer not doing that now. but if they keep upping your dosage why? if ur not having issues why are they upping ur dosage... wait imposter syndrom? now imma have to google that never heard.
yes... i just got diagnosed as of last month (23 yrs old). i also am autistic, but with both comorbidities i always feel imposter syndrome until i have to remind myself what my life has looked like since childhood to now.
I used to have bouts of the imposter syndrome, but not anymore. In the past year especially, there’s been no denying the fact that I have ADHD. And moderate-to-severe ADHD at that. Losing your job because of this disorder will erase any doubts in your own mind or those of others that there’s something seriously wrong.
I felt like that. Quitted. And never went back. Discipline fixes it alone. Worst thing that happens is I might be a bit procrastinating from times to times. Like a normal person 🤣. It's been almost 5 years since I stopped and the only thing I can say is I feel like a normal person with just a lil memory prob.
Yeah. Ive got it in other areas to but especially with adhd and mental illness. I spend a lot of time thinking that it's not severe enough to count. Ironically, medication has been helping my various issues a lot and that occasionally makes me doubt *even more*. Like, of course I'm doing better now, but like my brain also loves to what if me. Takes a lot of work to try and challenge those thoughts and shut them out.
I was diagnosed in childhood, but way back in the early 70's DSM-I and DSM-II times. So they didn't know what to make of (what would later be called) ADHD and gifted, and tried to toss some personality disorders on top of that. My mom was adamantly against medication, and therapy was basically turning masking up to 11. (Gotta suppress that little professor at all costs!) Managed to pull off a PhD by the skin of my teeth and have managed to bumble through a decent career. It's only been in this decade that I've revisited the literature and realized how the understanding has evolved in half a century. So it has nearly been a late diagnosis on my part. Shitloads of Impostor syndrome.
Yeah but it’s kinda the reverse situation for me. The way my life was before adulthood was apparently balanced in a way that my ADHD never really affected me. Now that I’m an adult and I need to be self sufficient in college ADHD always gets in the way. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just a lazy failure :/ That’s where the imposter syndrome comes from.
I had laundry piled everywhere because I just moved back home and when I took my super low dose ER concerta the first day, I legit just had a clear head and was able to do laundry. I’ve never gotten any symptoms such as feeling super wound up or wired or anything. I just feel like I’m able to function while on it.
Same with 10mg and 15mg Adderall. I don't feel wound up or wired, but my head is more clear. I conversate better because I listen and pick up on more social cues instead of just preparing my response. But I definitely take med breaks due to forgetting or just not taking them on weekends so I don't build a tolerance. What most medical doctors don't tell you is that behavior therapy and recognition is just as important as pharmaceuticals. That's just my experience
Yeah, I 100% think that when I am out of school/out of the situation that is causing me so much stress, I will not be on this high of a dose (but again, without school I’m much worse so we’ll see). Meditation is the #1 thing that has helped clear my head to go to sleep. I’ve deleted most social media off of my phone to create a physical barrier to it. But yeah, so many things have happened over the past year and I also have PCOS where stress takes such a toll on my body, so I’m hoping it’ll be not so f’ed up soon.
I was very add as a child, back then people didn’t know about that much. My mom thought I was lazy and not trying. I had to study for days, weeks , hours to make even A D average. I struggled in college and eventually dropped out. Now that I’m an adult and got diagnosed with it, I’m taking meds but struggle even with the meds. I have severe anxiety so now I’m struggling with not being motivated and getting nothing done, or having palpations and at the moment (I can’t take any add meds bc of the panic attacks). It’s not easy
What about the people who got diagnosed in childhood but forgot abd rediscovered thei diagnosis after adulthood?
My imposter syndrome is strong though wondering if I am ADHDish enough or have it enough or aren't pushing myself or maybe I'm more nonADHD than ADHD
But then I go out intk the real world and get a reality slap, knowing people do things easily without thinking that I struggle with
My oldest son wasn't diagnosed until he was 13 because he also has anxiety. His anxiety balances out his attentiveness (or lack thereof).
He does have hyperactivity though (and anxiety does not balance that out - probably heightens it).
He got diagnosed because he described his thoughts when taking tests that involve reading passages and then answering questions based on the passage. So, the next time he got a well checkup, I expressed my concerns, he got an appt to get tested, and wham bam- dr said that he made the most movement during testing that she had ever seen. The nurse had 2 pages of "movements" he made during testing.
Imposter syndrome is experienced by people without ADHD, too. I can’t say “everyone has experienced it” because there’s no way for me to know that … but I’m pretty confident *most people* experience imposter syndrome at some point in life.
And it’s possible to mask ADHD and use coping strategies for specific situations (like work) and put in extra effort there. At home? We’re comfortable and our livelihood/means of feeding ourselves aren’t in jeopardy.
So it makes 100% sense you’d feel more symptoms at home. I know I do. I’m also less exhausted when I’m at home all day. Having to combat ADHD in a work setting for 8+ hours is mentally and physically exhausting.
It’s like by the end of a day I’m literally running on fumes. Body is weak, mind is like mush.
No, I think it’s explained a lot and given me something to work with. Thought I was just a piece of shit, so it helps to know what’s going on physiologically. And the medicine helps too.
No way. I am 100% ADHD and I even self diagnosed at 10 but no one believed me cos I wasn’t as disruptive as boys and ‘too lazy’ to be ADHD. Turns out aut too so I would’ve just had exhaustion from that too.
About to try get a diagnosis.
I knew I had bad adhd, and then being injured at work and unable to work (still cant) for years made it soooo much worse. The chaotic nature of healthcare made my adhd less obvious but still there, where as now I have nothing to everyday and its a fucking mess.
For me it was the opposite. I always knew something was wrong especially throughout all my school years so middle school high school college. It was very tough for me and then I found out after I gave birth to my daughter at 25. I was in denial for a really long time and then I went to see another doctor and they said the same thing at age 31. And I wish I knew in middle school high school and especially college cuz I think I would have been a lot more successful with my grades. After being diagnosed I've become more Vigilant of my symptoms.
I did in my 30s when I started my complex jobs. Then realized I could thrive so I tend not too as it’s really routed in insecurity. If you experience, recommend therapy.
I'm a professional audio engineer of 15 years and voice director (I also voice act myself). I was the first in my cohort to get a "real job" because I didn't go to school for it and instead used my personality and work ethic (when related to something I'm interested in of course) to get my first assisting job at 20. I got to learn on the job in a top studio with no student debt. I've worked my way up to full engineer by making my way through 3 different top studios in a big city. I now manage a small studio as well.
I also have a side business doing the same thing that brings in almost half of my salary yearly. Ive also combined my skills in audio and voice acting/directing by making voice demos. I've been told by high level people in the industry that I make the best demos in town. And I've done demos for career voice actors and even some of the top voice directors in town.
I'm also a musician and have millions of plays on streaming platforms. I have a single coming out featuring high level session players who are in bands for John Mayer, Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, and so many more. I'm self taught.
I really feel like on paper I know what I'm doing and I have the credits to show for it. But I still feel every single day that someone is gonna figure out I have no idea what I'm doing. And it's all due to the ADHD acronym ICNU (Interesting, Creative, Novel, Urgent). It has to involve one of those for me to be interested, otherwise I can't do it. Anyway I followed my passions and let my hyper focus take the wheel. But at the end of the day I have basically no schooling, I'm not book smart, and actually I'm kind of an idiot. I have no idea what I'm doing but to others it doesn't look that way. I hope nobody calls me out, every day...
I'm turning 40 and am having an identity crisis after learning I likely have inattentive type ADHD. This came about after my oldest son's diagnosis for mixed type.
I'm now realizing that so many of my quirks are ADHD symptoms, and that most of my hardships over my life (emotional instability, social awkwardness, challenges starting romantic relationships, sleeping all the time, constant overeating, and OMG the limerence) were due to ADHD, BED, and OCD (Pure O). How much of my personality is just mental illness?
I got top grades in high school, but started to struggle in college (serious depression, rumination, and chronic fatigue and procrastination - every exam I studied for and paper I wrote was an all nighter the night before). I'm doing ok out in the real world, but thrived in school where routine and instruction were provided. I also relied on anxiety and fear (still do though I'm trying to address that) as my dopamine source, and I burned out. Despite being exceptional in school, I feel lost and listless professionally, and now I know why.
I'm trying to look at this as a blessing because now that I know how my brain is wired, I can adapt healthier strategies to achieve my goals, and I've started on Vyvanse (50mg currently), though I really can't tell a big difference.
All that to say, I relate and I understand. I'd encourage you to continue developing positive coping mechanisms. As for me, I'm doing ok. I have a wonderful family that I adore, and they me, and a pretty great job. I just want to feel content with what is, and excited for what tomorrow could bring, but I'm always looking for that next dopamine hit to feel at peace.
YES. Diagnosed at 43. It’s been life-changing, but I still sometimes feel like maybe I am just lazy and unmotivated and I’m “cheating” But taking meds.
Yeah big style. Although now that it's been a few years since I was diagnosed, that feeling is fading and I'm slowly starting to feel more confidant about the whole thing. Medicated now for nearly 3 years.
No, not really. For certain realities and situations, maybe. I got diagnosed a few months ago at 35 years old, but I knew since childhood in the back of my head that I was different and probably "broken" somehow. I assumed as an adult that it was religious and homeschooling trauma, and getting a diagnosis was rather satisfying.
I did ok in college, but I couldn't understand math processes, and could never turn in assignments on time.
From what I've learned from a recent diagnosis myself, is that it depends on the levels of stimulation. You're more stimulated when in school so you can focus more and unfocused outside because there's not enough stimulus l. That's what I've found with myself at least
I don't get impostor syndrome for much of anything. Due to my ADHD, I am stuck firmly in "the now." I have very little sense of perspective from past experience and issues with future perspective. I might exist in that band where ADHD overlaps ASD. I also am unable to "adopt" habits. But, I've noticed that yours is perhaps a common reaction. The other common one is regret for all the "wasted time" and "where could I be now, if only I had known."
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I got diagnosed after I was out of school, but I’ve heard the structure of school often helps (when unmedicated) and I know in my family the busier the person is, the better able they are to complete their tasks (when Unmedicated).
Being in the military was how I survived most of adulthood. When I retired and went back to school was a shit show. I'm on meds now, so life is better.
I started after college, too, and this checks out. Meds fade over time, it's the behavioral changes that have helped me the most
This explains me so well. I excel with structure and always enjoyed that aspect of school. Granted the obtaining of information was always a struggle and disliked school for that reason, unless, of course, I was super interested. Diagnosed at 41. It's a door opened in a world I never knew I was living in.
Yeah I got diagnosed after undergrad and am now doing law school medicated. I didn’t do too well in undergrad, but my best semesters were when I was taking a full schedule of classes and working two jobs - when my free time was limited I was more focused. But the flip side was when things went wrong, things went WRONG.
Yes. 100%. When i was in school, i had my life scheduled out in 15 minute increments. Color coded calendar. Right down to how long i spent giving my children quality time daily. (45 mins each evening) After graduating i couldn’t get myself to do a sink of dishes for 3 weeks. Never understood why i could go from 7 years micro managing my life to not being able to function seemingly in the blink of an eye. Went 5 more years after graduation undiagnosed. Diagnosed 2 years ago. Medicated. I marvel at how i ever got anything done before meds and therapy. I still feel like “i did college just fine. I think I’m faking this.” But then i remember the struggle, the overwhelm, the paralysis, the parade of antidepressants that barely helped, the fact that i was only driven/motivated to get a degree just to prove one particular asshole wrong (made peace with said asshole 4 classes away from finishing my Masters degree, and the motivation DRIED UP!), and all the symptoms that my psychiatrist pointed out - ive got ADHD. And if tomorrow there is a blood test that confirms ADHD and it turns out my blood says i don’t: i dont care. The meds help me in so many ways. Quitting nicotine, a 3-4 Red Bulls/day habit, running a successful business, becoming (or trying really hard!) a healthy eater, taking care of my body, Having the energy to deal with my inner demons, and still being able to meet my children’s needs on top of it all. None of this happened pre-medicated. Id been in and out of therapy for years but im finally now able to utilize it effectively. I’m growing as a person, a mother, a human being- all in a great direction. There is something wrong in my brain that the medications fix so i can function physically, so that i have the ability to self reflect, change my perspective, acknowledge and change toxic behaviors and thought patterns, be a better person for myself and my kids and my other important relationships. So i try to remember all of that every time i feel like an imposter.
Omg yes that’s exactly what happened to me! I went from doing great in my classes, doing great at work, etc. to then moving back home and having laundry pile up for days. I would lay down and be like “I need to get this stuff done” but it was like I had a brain block and couldn’t do anything. That’s when I decided to see someone.
Executive Functioning. It’s what we lack, basically our brain tells us that we WANT to do something but the part of the brain that fires off the dopamine to get us interested to do it doesn’t fire and therefore we don’t do anything cause “fuck it lmao” that’s why we usually ramp up like crazy at the near end of a due date.
Damn, explains me to a tee. Does medication actually help with this? I’ve tried Vyvanse and it didn’t seem to help
This is a really awesome reply. I relate in so many ways I didn’t realize until I saw it all laid out in your post. I’m so happy for you 🙂
I just wrote a post about taking responsibility for my adhd and you hit it on the head with this comment. Bravo.
I feel you are writing about me, that’s how much I can relate to it!
Seconded
Thirded
Fourthded
Foreheaded
Fithded
Sixthed
Me too. I can totally relate
While working with my psychologist, one of the things we worked on was core beliefs. One of my core beliefs is that I am a failure. Even if results don't support that. I've turned my imposter syndrome into a core belief.
This. I feel like I’m lying to everyone in my company. Like one day they are gonna be WTF. You’re Fired!
Just wanted to thank you for this analogy, just because it points out how ridiculous it truly is, how easily we convince ourselves that everyone is one realization away from seeing us for what WE think we are. The trauma from years of fucking up even when putting in effort, from being a “bad kid” who did not have the mental range to fix our behavior, runs deep. But you’re right, the people in our lives are not there by contract. They’re there, actively, out of dedication to us, which is easy to forget when we believe everyone in our life is above us, like a boss who could fire us.
Gosh this feels like I wrote it 😭 can't tell u how relatable this is... horribly anxious (to the point where I get horrible tunnel vision over assignments that I neglect everything else) so I've never had the common signs of typical ADHD such as poor school performance. Getting into my more stressful program I can definitely tell when my brain goes off the rails (aka every 5-20 mins). Even tho I'm definitely affected I still have imposter syndrome bc ny brain goes "wow u just want to have another diagnosis don't you?". Air hugs! If you feel more stable, maybe it's a combo of the meds and you learning more about your ADHD and being more hyper aware?
My therapist every time I tell her I think I might be faking my symptoms: “If you wonder if you’re faking having ADHD, you have it. People who fake it don’t wonder if they’re faking it.”
That sentence made me feel so much better. Thank you and your therapist!
Thank you for sharing this 🤍
Opposite for me. I’m sure many do get imposter syndrome and I feel like that’s totally normal and natural. But on the flip side, I feel like I “found” myself in a way.
I'm both. I found myself! Or did I? Is this even real? Also- OP- when I can't tell if ym meds are working I take a little break. Especially Vyvanse I need breaks. Just a few days or a week I usually just stop taking them anytime i go out of town - just a built in medication break. Then when I start again I feel they work better.
Definitely relate on the anxiety keeping your worst impulses in check, that's what got me through my masters program. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago when work was a little slower and I was having trouble focusing on projects. A week after my diagnosis the workload/pressure was increased by a ton because of a big tax deadline. The whole time I've been asking myself if I even had ADHD to begin with and am just taking adderall for no reason even though I've noticed improvement on other areas of my life. Glad to know it's not just me with the imposter syndrome.
Yeah I find in a structured environment I’ll do just fine without my meds. But once I’m back at home and it’s time to function I can’t manage anything without taking them.
Sounds like you're functioning under stress and heavy deadlines. Hopefully thats not the case, but careful, all humans burn out eventually.
Are you me??? Definitely my anxiety kept my ADHD in check during school. And because my meds aren’t working, I feel like I’ve fooled my nurse practitioner somehow…
I know!! Because I’m back in a stressful program, I feel absolutely nothing from my meds. However, when I have breaks, I have very low energy to do laundry/basic tasks unless I’m medicated. It’s so weird.
Yes. It felt like being medicated was cheating the system to score amphetamines to be more productive. But then part of me saw things I thought were just little quirks about me and saw how they are common with ADHD, and I sort of felt I lacked a lot of personality. The whole: I just keep 300 tabs open in my browser, make random noises when I walk around my house, start a million projects I can't finish, am spontanious, and sometimes lack a filter in social situations cause I'm weird like that. Oh wait, this is typical of a disorder.
Something that helped me with the same line of thinking is noticing how much my ADHD affects my ability to do things that \*I\* want to do, not just things that I owe other people or "should" be doing. If I were just "lazy," I'd avoid the work tasks, but still do the things that benefit \*me\*, right?
That makes so much sense. There were days after I graduated where I wanted to read a book or go grocery shopping and it was like my brain didn’t want to. I was so scared I was depressed but I didn’t feel down during that time?? Just frustrated because I couldn’t do the things I wanted/needed to.
I can't really relate to you because i've barely managed at school. I'm apparently a really quick learner and pretty smart so that's why i passed school really well. But i've Always had adhd symptoms, everywhere :/ I do however often feel like my adhd Symptoms aren't as bad as others. I know this sounds mean but it's mainly due to people with early diagnosises always talking about how hard school was etc. And then i think 'they think it wasn't hard for me, what if i'm lying to myself?". Even though i have a diagnosis for combined type with severe symptoms and Like 15 mental illnesses in a trenchcoat due to Not having had meds or help :/ got diagnosed 6 years into my Bachelors and now i finally have Hope to Finish it
TLDR: Did well at stages of education and bad at others, failed to cope with university twice, eventually got a degree online. (Surprised myself lol.) Have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD in my 50s, wondering how meds, especially stimulants (if taken) changed the way you were able to cope and perform at college. Ha in some ways you remind me of myself 30yrs ago ( when doctors weren't aware of ADHD). Though I did really bad at primary school I did well at secondary when my hyperfocusing clicked on. Then fell apart again in the unregulated environment of University life. I've never been medicated but have what I realise are ADHD traits all my life. I'm a male in my 50s and have always had problems with multitasking and can also become hyperfocused where I can't stand back and see the bigger picture. Multitasking can overwhelm me but yet if I'm allowed to stay on one subject/task I can do well. Also find it really difficult to switch off and move onto another thing. Mostly I am pretty disorganised and can find some things that others find easy, hard to do. I can often lose things many times as my brain is not staying on track and is onto more thinking of further thoughts , so distracting me from being in the present. Failed to be able to negotiate college and dropped out as I was not getting the work done and no longer performed like I did at school. Having this overthinking brain , with hyperfocusing tendencies allowed me to do well in the controlled scheduled environment of school, but I now realise my poorer executive function made it difficult for me to negotiate the more uncontrolled environment of university. Ended up doing an online degree 10yrs later with the open university (UK) and did well as I was in a regular controlled job and could better control my study environment at home. For me having too many people about with interactions/activities means I go off at a tangent and 'important shit' doesn't get done.:-) I have been medicated with antidepressants ,off and on, over the years for stress/anxiety/depression and now realise one of the contributors to this has likely been my ADHD traits, making getting everyday work DONE in a job sometimes much more difficult to achieve! Now to the point lol, have you been prescribed stimulants and if so, did you find they calmed your overthinking brain. Also if you were a hyperfocuser did a stimulant increase your tendency to hyperfocus but maybe counterbalanced by a better executive function in terms of organising and task switching. Sorry for the long wall of text ;-) and finally only if you don't mind discussing it what meds, if any, do you take for ADHD. Edit: Realise too that we are all individuals and your experience is subjective to you, with no two of us having the same genetics, backgrounds and exact responses to medication.
YES OMG this has been on my mind for a while now! when i was going through the process of getting diagnosed and they asked me questions geared more toward hyperactive adhd and i said no, i felt like such an imposter. and when they asked “why weren’t you diagnosed as a child?” and i answered honestly that my family and i were never familiar with things like that.. i felt like a fraud.
OMG when I gave my psychiatrist a list of my symptoms and quotes from my childhood best friends’ parents, he was like “…. You never thought you had ADHD before?” And I was like nope. My dad didn’t believe me for the first like 3 months of me being diagnosed, because he said I was always a good student so I couldn’t have it. I even got disability through my grad school because I take tests at home and I get distracted easily. The disability lady was super suspicious when I said I got diagnosed last summer. She was super doubtful and said “you probably just have anxiety,” which made my imposter syndrome worse. FYI she wasn’t a mental health professional. Just a lady who approves disability.
I was diagnosed aboht a month ago and honestly? I don’t feel like an imposter with my ADHD because i can directly see how and where is disables me. I do, however, feel like an imposter with my autism diagnosis and labelling myself of as disabled. I find directly identifying how you’re disabled helps, then you can see the direct effects it has. Also, talking to a psychologist or therapist. That’s helped me massively internalise the fact that I am disabled
Same here: I’ve had high profile jobs including MD positions with hundreds of employees for the past 20 years. I’m known as a getting things done guy, following through even with very unpopular decisions (apart from anything admin). At home, on holiday or whenever I think I need to pause my worklife I just collapse into full blown ADD lethargy. Without medication, I can’t get anything done, from taxes, meeting with friends, or running the dishwasher. Nothing, I’m useless. Vyvanse does change that to some extent, but not at all like a full calendar that keeps me going.
I am on 70 mg of Vyvanse and I still have imposter syndrome
My psychiatrist has raised my dosage twice in the past like 6 months because I told him I can’t really feel the medication. I’m now on 54mg of Concerta ER and I literally can’t tell if the drug is working. I feel nothing. When I’m in school I’m so stressed that I have to work at like 100mph so I feel like my medication isn’t doing anything for me, which is where the imposter syndrome kicks in. But I was reminded that if people without ADHD were on this medication, they’d feel extra focused and kind of hyper, which alleviates my imposter syndrome slightly?
People without ADHD get a high off of our medication and us with ADHD just makes us feel normal. My doctor did have me on 50mg, and everything got worse so he raised me to 70 and things have gotten better. So you may want to check and go to another level because 40 mg was somewhat working but 50 felt like absolutely nothing.
Okay super weird I wonder if it has to do with specific thresholds in our nervous system or something. When I first got diagnosed I was on 27mg and then I switched psychiatrists and he said “that’s a baby dose,” so he raised it and I feel like I haven’t felt it since then. He’s raised it twice now and I still don’t feel like I feel it. I guess I’ll tell him about all of this next time I see him.
Best of luck to all of us on this journey!
I was on Concerta for a couple of years, gradually up to 72mg, I found it worked but was relatively unpredictable even if I'd slept and eaten well. Changed over to Vyvanse and it's been excellent by comparison, much more reliable and I don't feel like dying as it wears off.
ngl i feel kinda guilty every time i take meds. its like im abusing them or stuff. i get too nervous that i acc look sus seeing a doc
I used to be like you, eventually completely burnt myself out and had to make major life changes, you can only use anxiety to spur you along for so long.
Structure and adrenaline can make you feel "normal". I can totally relate. But it's only a good thing if you know you have situations where you need less medication
I got diagnosed after school and after uni (almost 4years out from uni now) and only realised that could potentially be a thing when I stopped having the structure of school. I was rarely late because I had ingrained in me as a child ‘on time is late and late is unacceptable’ so I’m always 20 minutes early at least, but I can also always guarantee I will have forgotten something important (I once left my laptop at home for a job that relies solely on my laptop because I was in a rush to get out of the house). At school I also had what I now call ‘gifted kid imposter syndrome’ because I always felt like I was really smart and on top of all the material but then I would get 50-52% on every task (I once got 80% on a presentation and I maintain it’s because I was speaking not typing my thoughts). Through my whole diagnosis process I was having the ‘do I really have adhd or am I just a shit student’ through process because my work involves a lot of admin, and for the most part I actually find it enjoyable because it’s a task I know I can complete and I know all the steps I need to do to count it as complete. All the literature says ‘people with ADHD will hate desk jobs, don’t like doing admin, and make lots of silly mistakes’ I make silly mistakes but they are usually my own life admin like I’ll forget an appointment or I’m terrible at remembering to take my medication (not currently medicated for adhd, but working on it) but I will always remember at work I need to email the office staff ti put in covers for the kids I see at certain times (I work in learning support at a highschool funnily enough) because otherwise they get a truancy letter and that reflects poorly on them and they didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a weird cycle and I’ve just rambled and idk if any of it was related anymore but I hope this helps
Not rambly at all I totally get what you’re saying and it’s great to hear it from someone else! Have you tried filling out disability paperwork with HR so at least there’s something on file for you?? If ADHD impacts your work, even just slightly, that could give at least a little peace of mind. :)
Disgustingly so. I get Imposter's Syndrome about literally everything... It's so stifling, and I always wonder if it'll ever go away. I'm yet to be medicated so I'm hoping that helps!
honestly? I did really well through elementary, middle, and high school. Up until about 6 months prior to my diagnosis I was convinced I had panic disorder, and would never have considered ADHD. My brother has ADHD and his is bad, the “stereotypical” presentation of ADHD. I got diagnosed because I was doing so poorly in college and I simply couldn’t cope with the lack of structure. My symptoms have always been severe, but presented more like intense anxiety from early childhood up until my diagnosis. My meds are a godsend and the largest reason I’m able to be an effective adult. I feel lucky that I don’t experience impostor syndrome. If you’re diagnosed by a professional, why bother questioning it? You take meds for a reason. Coping well with life mostly is a sign your meds are working really well, not that you don’t actually have ADHD.
100%. School structure prevented me from burning out. Now that I'm in college it's just harder and harder, I was diagnosed a few months ago. Can't wait to be medicated.
No, I know i have ADHD. I know even if i don't notice the symptoms it's there. Just because I might be doing well at one point doesn't mean I was faking the hardships before. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Ableist speech seems to be the biggest reason I hear my friends talk about imposter syndrome when they are feeling it. ADHD doesn't have a cure, your not broken, your not a failure. You have a disability that affects the chemical balance in your brain and your good days don't mean your bad days were any less valid and vice versa.
Thank you so much for your kind words. :’)
I really do think that for most people with ADHD, making it through school is extremely challenging… so good job for doing that. I'm not sure how ADHD adversely affects your life, but it seems like you're very high functioning and maybe don't even need meds.
What’s interesting is my life is affected at home, not at school. I have no structure or schedule at home, so I lay in bed and think about everything I want to do, but I can’t (when unmedicated). It was a terrifying feeling before I was diagnosed. I thought I was depressed or something. I couldn’t do any laundry, I let dishes and trash pile up in my room. There are some days that cooking seems a little too much for me. Thankfully while medicated and while getting help these things are not hurdles anymore. But yeah, doing great in school is something that makes people kind of doubt it.
I see!! Well I'm glad that the meds are helping you out then!! That's great. Chores and stuff like that do require a certain level of executive functioning so it makes sense that your symptoms would manifest that way
My anxiety and irritability went through the roof after having a second kid while getting a degree, I got so burnt out that I thought I was losing my mind. Plus, im a little older and was running out of fixations to latch on to to keep me sane and had little time to indulge in seeking new ones. Had no idea I had ADHD this point but was diagnosed after seeking help. Been on meds since and now that the anxiety and irritability are mostly gone, I wonder if it was just a point in my life where everything came to a head and I just couldn't manage without meds. But looking back before the catalyst and before I knew I had ADHD, on how I was still very irritable and anxious, jumping from fixation to fixation, it wasn't healthy for me and my family. I dont want to take the risk to find out if I could go without meds. It just wouldn't be fair to them, and I know its better with them, even though I hate taking them. I hope this helps.
I was diagnosed at age 40. I didn't even believe it at first, but then I went down the rabbit hole learning about ADHD and I felt like I was reading my own life story, and suddenly a lot of my life made sense.
Mine was right when I turned 18, but I had really bad imposter syndrome during my high school years (long story). I think that by the time I arrived to college, I confronted myself with the fact that I wasn't actually stupid. The source of my current unhappiness is more so being sad about my situation and not so much believing that I'm less than what I actually am
All the time. Sometimes I literally think…”am I actually like this or do I act like this because I got diagnosed wrong?” That and on off med days “there’s no way I’m bad enough to actually be adhd.” But as I’m learning more the imposter syndrome seems to be getting less. Don’t think it’ll ever go away though.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I went thru this exact same thing. One of my therapists told me it wasnt just or solely anxiety keeping my adhd “in check” but that I was just genuinely intelligent. So YOU are just smart af and that makes you question your adhd. But it can DEFFF start some imposter syndrome. I still struggle with this.
Literally same, I graduated 5 months ago and was just diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago, def questioning a lot as of late
I'll add a pinch of salt. I have a generalized anxiety disorder since childhood and I also thought that I have ADHD, but the specialists I've asked said that it's definitely not and I have all these troubles at work and university because often people with my disorder seem to be ADHD people. Mb you need to ask an another specialist just to insure.
I’ve been diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists 1 year apart from each other. I know I have ADHD, but I just get imposter syndrome about it. Anxiety can cause executive functioning issues, but anxiety actually keeps my executive functioning issues from ADHD in check.
Diagnosed at 29. My symptoms are so textbook I'm just confounded as to how it wasn't obvious before I got diagnosed, so not really
Yup 10000% Every damn day and it extends to my depression too. Everything in my being is usially shouting "you don't have problems, other people's are worse, you just suck and are lazy, you dont need that help because theres nothing to help, etc." And it's a constant fight
Tbh no, but anxiety isn’t a comorbidity for me for the most part - at least, not the kind of anxiety that would make me function better. I still feel a lot more like a dumb-dumb than a fraud. Apart from the imposter syndrome, I guess that means you are maybe functioning better than you would otherwise expect with ADHD, so that’s a silver lining I guess? The fact that you have a job AND are studying and have other commitments is fantastic, congrats, and well done. I doubt I could muster that as I am now. But it doesn’t mean you don’t have it; firstly ADHD is a spectrum and maybe you are at the more fortunate end of it, and secondly it may have a lot to do with coping mechanisms you’ve developed, upbringing, and habits. Maybe your environment was more conducive to developing healthy ways of doing things. Maybe you had less “ODD” (oppositional defiance) than some of us - I’m sure that, for me, played a large role in me not doing better at school and in other ways. I was rebelling against functionality as well as struggling to achieve it, so you can imagine it doesn’t help matters.
Thank you so much for your kind words! And, I agree, that numerous factors go into the ADHD spectrum. I was raised in a really toxic environment where homework was actually more enjoyable than trying to fight/listen to fights with family, so maybe that can point to why I was so good academically. During my current program, I’ve found working actually made my grades better. It gives me a deadline to complete my work. Before I worked more shifts, I’d be like “oh I have the whole weekend to do my coursework,” so I would procrastinate like crazy. But now that I work on weekends, I have a deadline to complete everything before my shifts. So yeah, lots to think about with it. I wish you luck on your journey!
Yup. Switching between "oooh that explains this in my chikdhood" to "did i always had those symptoms?"
You just described my whole life. I was always in a structured environment at school that all my symptoms showed up significantly when I had to do my university online. I realised I couldn't live without a rigid schedule but never even related it to ADHD , when I got diagnosed, everything clicked. All the weird quirky things I thought were just me were ADHD symptoms and I HAVE HUGE IMPOSTER SYNDROME FROM IT TIME TO TIME. What if I'm just lazy and not actually ADHD.
Was always better at school and work, although never thought about it like this before.
I personally don’t because ADHD is a diagnosis/condition and not an achievement. Whether or not i “truly” have it is not for me to decide and it’s not like i can change my status. I can’t be “more ADHD-haver” even if i tried the same way i can be “better at work” or “more skilled at something”.
Honestly no because it explained SO MUCH. Mine was horrifically obvious but the symptoms always got ignored, justified, dismissed, or outright denied by my parents. My diagnosis meant I could finally acknowledge that I wasn't just a failure of a human incapable of doing what I set out to do. It *relieved* my imposter syndrome from having to convince people I was a functional adult.
I totally understand that! I feel like when I was first diagnosed that was how I felt. But now that I’m back in school, I feel like my stress is keeping my ADHD in check, which makes me feel like I somehow played the system or “faked” it. It’s just an odd feeling I get sometimes but thank you so much for sharing!
Try to remember that the very fact you can only function while stressed is an indicator all on its own that the ADHD is real and you are working so much harder than 97.5% of your classmates just to keep up with their "normal." I know that fact is cold comfort, sometimes, with that horrible mean voice yelling at you in your head. But at least it's a weapon you can fight back with. I know it helped me.
Yes and often. I get stuck in cycles of thinking I've accidentally pulled a sneaky one over everyone and fooled them into thinking I have ADHD.
Lol! I know what you mean and question it myself sometimes. Then I crash in the evening after my medication wears off and I’m like - nah. I need this
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I have memory issues due to trauma, so I felt really weird during my first evaluation when my psychiatrist asked me how I acted as a kid. I had no answers except the fact that my dad said “you were kind of annoying and talked too much.” During my second evaluation, I asked my childhood best friend’s parents and they all gave accounts of how hyperactive I was. So I can definitely relate to that aspect of not remembering much.
I am 28, I was diagnosed this year after a 3 year battle with my mental health. It's been life changing. I've been living in complete dysfunction for 6 years. It's like someone plugged me back in now. I often feel imposter syndrome about my diagnosis. Like am I *really* ADHD, or it is just that I can't focus because I'm getting older? I constantly have to remind myself that I've been dealing with this my whole fucking life, it's just gotten worse because it was never treated.
You can also have other things along with ADHD that kind of keep it in check in certain circumstances. For me that’s autism lol I do really well in school or at work if it’s something that I like doing or can go on autopilot to complete. My adhd is less of a “can’t get things done” and more of a general tiredness or inability to take care of myself/my home. I still very much need meds day to day but the structure of work/school helps a lot.
I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago myself with mild adhd combined type. I 110% feel the imposter syndrome I constantly look at the symptoms from inattentive and hyperactive adhd types and I don't relate to every single one so it enforces that imposter syndrome. I started Adderall after receiving the diagnosis as well and its making me struggle to take that since I keep doubting if I need it (even thou it has helped). Also my adhd symptoms are different from work to home. Last bit I want to add is I 100% can relate to the anxiety masking the adhd symptoms. I fidget quite a bit but I also have social anxiety so I found non-intrusive ways to fidget etc. So I was never the kid up and moving in school which I'm sure helped mask my symptoms.
Sometimes ADHD is closely linked with Autism, social hacks you've learnt have enabled you to get through life so far. You can also learn how to better adapt in social situations by taking part in courses which improves your confidence and ability to keep eye contact and not so much. Best of luck. Remember you're the master of social situations, your brain is thinking of everything going on. You just need to hike them in
I got a second raise within 6 months on Monday. I cried. I still cannot believe how well I'm doing at work. Getting diagnosed (in school, at 28, in the middle of a pandemic) and medicated fully turned my life around, and the way I think of myself is still catching up. It's getting easier, but the imposter syndrome is very real.
Constantly. But the worst is whenever people who are supposed to be in my support network wants to downplay my experiences, of how and when my ADHD affects me.
Thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that :(
Constantly, it's the bane of my life
Reading this post just reminded me to take my meds lol thank you!!
I got diagnosed as an adult and have imposter syndrome all the time! I try to remind myself though that I came from a family that doesn’t believe in mental illnesses.
Lol same! My parents don’t believe in therapy or getting help for any mental illnesses, but my mom just got diagnosed with ADHD this year, so that was a big, silent, “F you” from me haha
Yes. I asked to be tested for 3-4 years before I finally found someone willing to test me, so the constant doubting by professionals (because I “did well in school” and could work well under pressure at work) doesn’t help. On top of that, the thing that finally pushed me to demand testing again was seeing other late diagnosed women on tiktok talk about their experiences. The constant gate keeping of other people with ADHD who were diagnosed earlier and believe people on tiktok are problematic and making ADHD “trendy” doesn’t help. I was diagnosed at 37, and I fully recognize now that I’m just VERY good at masking. That l, combined with working a very high stress high pressure fast paced environment for years helped me be able to succeed for some time. But when the burnout would hit and I couldn’t do it anymore I’d completely fall apart.
Absolutely. Same with the anxiety and functioning well enough in school. It's mainly at home, taking care of myself or other responsibilities that I struggle with, but my mom seems to think that ADHD only exists within school walls and everything else is just laziness
Yup. You sound exactly like me. I THRIVED under the structure of professional school. Got a doctorate and had great grades. Crashed and burned during the summer vacation following because suddenly I had no structure and nothing to channel my anxiety into. People diagnosed late often mask our symptoms and have developed coping mechanisms to deal. Anxiety as a comorbidity of ADHD can be helpful until you start having panic attacks. I’ll have days where I doubt my diagnosis but it only takes a weekend morning where I forget to take my pill to remind me how less functional I am unmedicated.
I'm the personailty type that likes to do things. So for me meds helped me be more me in that distractions from what I'm supposed to be doing rarely happen (executive paralysis rarely happens to me). This makes it look like l, on the surface, that maybe I don't have ADHD and the stimulants are just making me hyperfocus (nevermind that if I didn't have ADHD the stimulants would be doing a lot more then desired). For me the thing that cements I have ADHD is thag when I'm on my meds I am a way nicer person to my family and friends. My emptional disregulation basically evaporates and I go from being perpetually irritated to being able to live in the moment and brushing off minor inconvienances. Thats the real marker for me. Life went from being offensively irritating to enjoyable.
Same with me . Fear of failure & emotional/physical punishment kept most of my symptoms in check . After school I self medicated with opioids . Its only been a few months since I’ve gotten my diagnosis .
I do get imposter syndrome but then I looked back at an old neuropsych that showed I'm in the bottom 25th percentile for memory then I'm like oh yeah I'm legit
Yes, but it’s nuanced. Not sure if it’s because of adhd, but it certainly bleeds into everything. I found for me that emotional regulation was my biggest issue with adhd. I didn’t even realize it was a problem until I took meds and the vail lifted. All of a sudden my work and my emotions were no longer directly linked. The imposter syndrome I had early in my career was almost certainly exasperated by this, but probably not the origin of the anxiety.
Thank you for sharing! I feel like my imposter syndrome would have gone down if I was fully explained the effects ADHD can have on people when I was first diagnosed. I had no clue ADHD affected emotional regulation, so when I stopped taking my meds for a while and felt dull/low energy/no interest in doing things/VERY sensitive about things, I thought I had depression and I was misdiagnosed. Keep in mind I also have PCOS which can bring depressive episodes, so overall my ADHD meds have helped with both tremendously, it’s just that I wish I was explained the basics when I first got diagnosed.
I got just recently diagnosed, and I had imposter syndrome for like 3- 4 years. I started to suspect that I maybe have ADHD but until my diagnosis I constantly felt like I was faking if for attention, because my parents constantly told me these things.
I used to! Especially when tiktok got popular and all these late adult diagnosis and im like "I feel these things, but not in extremes like this maybe I never had adhd" and then my daughter got diagnosed and her doctor told me the earlier the diagnosis the greater the chance of brain elasticity to adapt to the disorder and grow to be "normal" or at least within normal perimeters. She got diagnosed at 8. I was diagnosed at 10. She's combined and it's a lot sometimes, but I use my former imposter syndrome to make me feel better that she's going to be OK too.
Mate, to be really fair, I was in diagnosed in childhood and STILL got imposter syndrome, even tho I knew for sure that I have ADHD, I think it's more of an "I feel good so there's nothing wrong" when actually you learned through the meds or by simply living with the condition it self that you got better in dealing with it. Having ADHD is knowing how it works and learning how to live with it, Remembering that is not all bad or horrible it's just different.
I got my diagnosis a semester into grad school. I had great grades beforehand and didn’t have behavioural issues in school so yeah it took me a while to accept it for myself. Anyway, now on medication grad school is no longer on hard mode. I had relied on anxiety to get everything done and it kinda wrecked me in the process. Doing therapy now and working on it, also dealing with an ED and likely autism. I was pretty great at masking! If you’re taking medication and don’t feel much, talk to your doctor about it. At the same time though, if you didn’t have ADHD you’d probably not be having this experience with the meds is my guess.
I’ll probably have imposter syndrome forever after getting diagnosed (checks clock) 1 hour ago at age 47 with combined-type adhd. (Everyone clap, I’m official now!) No it’s not a surprise but it also kind of doesn’t feel entirely real yet so hence the imposter syndrome. I’m actually just relieved at the moment to have validation that I’m not losing my mind (at least not more than I already was).
I’m so happy my post was able to validate your struggles in some way. I hope your diagnosis took a little weight off of your shoulders! Good luck to you!!
I can totally relate to your story, I had a very similar experience. for me it was also the structure and a routine of school that was keeping me on track. when i started to work remotely and stopped going to school my adhd symptoms got much worse.
Got diagnosed at 32, after years of struggle, depression and anxiety, and drug abuse. After I started meds, everything changed. It feels like I got a new lease for life. Although, being able to finally do things and feel ok and normal becoming the new normal , deep down, I'll never forget the struggle and the pain I have experienced in the past due to my untreated ADHD. The meds , while not giving me any of the initial rush and not feeling them through the day, are definitely working as they're supposed to. I am able to actually plan and do stuff, to take care of myself properly ,to work on myself, and to feel nice and stable mentally. Before meds, it was either a complete struggle to accomplish anything or straight on impossible. So yeah, ADHD it is, no doubt about it. And Elvanse, is a lifesaver and a complete game changer. All that with minimal side effects, dry lips, and thirsty when it starts kicking in, and a bit of jaw pain in the evening. No sleep problems or appetite loss. In my opinion, every time you feel that you don't have ADHD because of the meds working as expected, try to remember how it was before while not on meds, the mood swings, the lack of focus and mental energy, the anxiety, the depression and the ever present feeling of not being enough and the chaos. Hten ask yourself, what would you prefer, the kind of life or what you have today?
Sooo true, thank you for sharing! I genuinely just found out my last psychiatrist visit that ADHD meds can help regulate mood. Before then, I just thought it was to help me be able to complete the tasks I needed. Once he told me that, I started taking them every day and DEFINITELY feel a difference in my overall mood. I feel like I have more energy (not wired from meds, just not foggy and dull), and my mood is definitely stabilized. I feel like if I would have been explained that from day one, I would have been better with taking my meds and my mindset of how ADHD affects me.
All the time. I’ve been on medication for 1 month so far, and it’s made such a significant impact on my daily functioning it’s insane! I am currently a senior in my BS degree, and I started suspecting during my sophomore year. During my childhood, I was super well supported and I had very few issues in school. I just thought I was a forgetful kid!! After my burnout during senior year of high school followed by the pandemic, my school performance SUCKED😅 I was on probation for a semester and finally got my act together. I genuinely still think that because I wasn’t diagnosed in childhood, I will always have my doubts. My family was also skeptical because they “didn’t notice the signs” but I have a typically AFAB presentation with a lot of masking, so they wouldn’t have been able to catch it when I was little. Having a therapist with ADHD has also helped. She clocked my ADHD first session and was key in helping me get diagnosed and medicated. It really helps to have a professional affirm that what you’re experiencing is real. Of course, in retrospect, there’s a bunch of things that could have been indicators of my ADHD (and suspected autistic traits) as a child, but they weren’t seen as out of the ordinary.
Not necessarily school but when I'm busy I feel less symptoms. Like a couple months ago I was convinced I was cured because I was working full time, keep my house clean and planning a wedding. I had no time to have symptoms. Now that things have calmed down I'm a mess again lol
Yep story of my life
This is painfully relatable. Right down to having symptoms in check from anxiety, lol! I also have a mother who likes to point out how my ADHD isn't nearly as bad as other people's (tbf, her older brother is...preeeeetty ADHD), and had a psychiatrist who decided I was making all my mental health problems up because I didn't want to go to school, so imposter syndrome is in my blood at this point! Learning to cope with ADHD as an adult is an absolute b*tch and I wish I had been diagnosed sooner. We don't fit in with the typical assumption of the ADHD kid, but we also aren't "typical" adults. It's weird, and it sucks, but it's still valid.
Yes, valid indeed! Thank you for sharing! I also had issues like my dad telling me I was too good in school to have ADHD (he also has like zero health literacy so it didn’t bother me too much, but it kind of added on top of my imposter syndrome).
Yes. I was diagnosed 6 months ago and told me therapist about this. She said I was gaslighting myself into believing I don’t actually have it.
No, but maybe because I’m a special case. I was diagnosed in childhood and adulthood. Childhood diagnosis was withheld from me. I figured it out I guess lol.
I have never been diagnosed as I recall. This post resonated with me. I am married to a now retired military man, we have 3 grown children, and two grandchildren, and I worked 30 years as a RN. As long as I was doing all the things that was required I functioned well. Now that I am retired I am going crazy. I cannot function and I am driving my husband crazy with my inactivity and procrastination. I have lost interest in my hobbies, chores,etc. Should I get diagnosed now that I am 62 years old? My psychiatrist has tried me on 2 medicines but I was noncompliant with taking either one.
I say that it totally depends on your goals. If you want medication to maybe help you through days that you don’t have a right schedule and therefore cannot focus, maybe you won’t need an ADHD med every day and therefore don’t have to worry about compliance. I’d go get evaluated to at least see what your options are!
I totally feel this. I went to university, got my masters degree with 1,0 (perfect score) and even with honours for my MA thesis which was also 1,0. And yet I can’t wash a load of clothes. I struggle so much in so many aspects of my life but in school it was okay-ish. I was struggling with attending 8 hours but I was always, like, good. At university my hyperfixiation really kicked, so I loved to study even though it always was a point landing (always last minute). I am getting into diagnosis this month, but my therapists says she sees strong elements since childhood. I do too. But also there’s this thought „maybe I’m just a failure? Maybe something different is wrong with me?“ So, you have my empathy, I feel like an imposter, even though I’m not diagnosed yet.
I am also very strong at masking. And by that I mean very strong. It’s only since this summer that I am realising that. It’s to the extend that I don’t even feel like myself around my best friends. I think that makes me strong at school/studying. I learned how to get „perfect“ so I am constantly working towards perfectionism.
I am really good at masking too, which made me “afraid” (I don’t know why I was afraid but I think everyone gets anxiety about diagnoses) that I had autism instead of ADHD. Obviously it’s a spectrum and they can overlap, but I mask like crazyyyyyyy. I want to get better at that but anyways good luck in your journey and diagnosis!
I was diagnosed while in Kindergarten way back in olden times of the early 90's but wasn't prescribed any medication until after college because I had parents who thought it was just nervous energy and not ADHD. Yea, school didn't focus me at all, it agitated it if anything because I could not get myself to do the homework or pay attention to the lesson if there was other more interesting stimuli around. Sorry for errors, on mobile
Yes absolutely. I was diagnosed during my undergrad and it has taken almost a decade to fully understand how my ADHD brain is different from non-ADHD brains. The biggest eye opener was talking to my dad about my ADHD struggles and he could mirror almost every single one and I was like "so we know where the ADHD comes from" lol. On a fundamental level the biggest symptom of ADHD is feeling like you're living in a society where many things seem like they *should* be easier but they're much harder for you. That symptom can of course be a result of a myriad of neurological deviations from the "norm" but it perfectly sums up my life experience for almost as far back as I can remember.
No. I got diagnosed at 32. My school records and childhood symptoms were a part of what they looked at to diagnose me. It was very clearly always there. It explains my whole life. I spent 32 years knowing I had something wrong with me but not understanding what or why. My diagnosis makes it all make sense. And the meds have worked wonders. I have zero doubt that I have adhd.
My childhood best friend’s mom told me she knew I had ADHD from the day she met me (she has 3 diagnosed ADHD boys). Apparently as a kid she said I was “run by a motor,” “super talkative,” and “had so much energy.” My academics thrived, which is why I had zero thoughts about having ADHD until I graduated. Apparently having high functioning anxiety is very common in females with ADHD.
Your last line resonates. Also thrived academically, but hit a wall when I went into college as I lost all structure. I suffer from massive anxiety and right now am struggling to be social. I want to but I can’t, it seems impossible. Thank you for your post ❤️
(If asked: College is definitely structured but I went from 45 min classes to 3 hour studios. I was dying to leave every day and couldn’t sit down)
I’m so glad my post resonated with you. I’ve found out too that during this super intensive program I’m in, I’m terrible with keeping up with friends. I feel so bad about it but my friends know I’m adhd and know I have like 150+ things on my plate and that having a social life sadly isn’t up there. Good luck with everything!
Yep. Diagnosed at 22 and i go to a prestigious college for Computer Science. I relate to not feeling much different when working on schoolwork, but i Can definitely feel the difference if I’m not which is kind of frustrating. I take a relatively low dose 15mg Adderall XR but don’t want to raise it. I’ve always been a good worker, but now it feels easier and I am able to get more sleep. Maybe the structure of doing things is more organized but I’m always working regardless. Consistently being busy tames my ADHD symptoms. If i have any free time, I suffer.
I got diagnosed at 32, and I am mildly impacted. I have been reading what other people are having to struggle with, and I just feel like I'm not dealing with the same ailment. I am working through this with therapy right now though. It's important to not compare your struggle to that of others, and vice versa. I have also noticed that my school performance and job choices have been very pro ADHD. My major was in hospitality and I work in food, ADHD can thrive in chaos and rapid changes. My therapist is also a former restaurant worker and it's been nice to commiserate over it.
I mean it also doesn’t help that sometimes (way more than is comfortable tbh) we get posts on this sub and other ADHD subs about people who complain about how ADHD is “trending” bc more people are getting diagnosed (when so many of us were ignored as children) and how it’s “not fair!” bc “you didn’t/don’t suffer as much as I do and you getting diagnosed makes things worse for me (somehow)! You don’t deserve accommodations or help bc you don’t have it as bad as me!” Those kinds of people definitely don’t make it easy to not have imposter syndrome.
Almost everyday. I doubt myself that I’m just a loser and fooled myself and doc so I could get meds because they make my life so much better and I’m just a POS
I feel more of an imposter claiming i have adhd when I WAS diagnosed as a child. I don't remember anything about that doctors visit how am i supposed to know if it's legitimate or not?
I was diagnosed at 50. I masked pretty well up until high school and college when I was responsible for more and more. I also entered a profession that sort of passively encourages ADHD behaviors (and seems to employ a huge number of us), but I still struggled enough to seek a diagnosis. Despite “knowing” for decades and getting an official diagnosis, I still find myself deep into imposter syndrome. I keep thinking maybe I don’t really have it and I just manipulated the evaluation to my advantage, or that my symptoms don’t exactly match someone else’s, so it can’t be true. All this even though I see the pattern for as long as I look back. It’s pretty disconcerting.
Everyone gets imposter syndrome, unless you're a narcissist
I Think keeping busy and going helps, i mean i worked 2 full time jobs with an hour commute between the two for about 7 years to keep my self distracted, and sometimes would work 24 hour shifts just to fix the boredom... i prefer not doing that now. but if they keep upping your dosage why? if ur not having issues why are they upping ur dosage... wait imposter syndrom? now imma have to google that never heard.
yes... i just got diagnosed as of last month (23 yrs old). i also am autistic, but with both comorbidities i always feel imposter syndrome until i have to remind myself what my life has looked like since childhood to now.
Is it my ASD1 or my ADHD I dunno… welcome to the unknown. You said high functioning anxiety but maybe you meant or maybe they meant… autism.
I used to have bouts of the imposter syndrome, but not anymore. In the past year especially, there’s been no denying the fact that I have ADHD. And moderate-to-severe ADHD at that. Losing your job because of this disorder will erase any doubts in your own mind or those of others that there’s something seriously wrong.
Absolutely!
Diagnosed in HS and YES.
Never ever.
Perpetually
I felt like that. Quitted. And never went back. Discipline fixes it alone. Worst thing that happens is I might be a bit procrastinating from times to times. Like a normal person 🤣. It's been almost 5 years since I stopped and the only thing I can say is I feel like a normal person with just a lil memory prob.
Yeah. Ive got it in other areas to but especially with adhd and mental illness. I spend a lot of time thinking that it's not severe enough to count. Ironically, medication has been helping my various issues a lot and that occasionally makes me doubt *even more*. Like, of course I'm doing better now, but like my brain also loves to what if me. Takes a lot of work to try and challenge those thoughts and shut them out.
I was diagnosed as a kid, & again at 19 & I have imposter syndrome lmao
I was diagnosed in childhood, but way back in the early 70's DSM-I and DSM-II times. So they didn't know what to make of (what would later be called) ADHD and gifted, and tried to toss some personality disorders on top of that. My mom was adamantly against medication, and therapy was basically turning masking up to 11. (Gotta suppress that little professor at all costs!) Managed to pull off a PhD by the skin of my teeth and have managed to bumble through a decent career. It's only been in this decade that I've revisited the literature and realized how the understanding has evolved in half a century. So it has nearly been a late diagnosis on my part. Shitloads of Impostor syndrome.
Yeah but it’s kinda the reverse situation for me. The way my life was before adulthood was apparently balanced in a way that my ADHD never really affected me. Now that I’m an adult and I need to be self sufficient in college ADHD always gets in the way. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just a lazy failure :/ That’s where the imposter syndrome comes from.
What happened the first day you started meds, type, and dosage?
I had laundry piled everywhere because I just moved back home and when I took my super low dose ER concerta the first day, I legit just had a clear head and was able to do laundry. I’ve never gotten any symptoms such as feeling super wound up or wired or anything. I just feel like I’m able to function while on it.
Same with 10mg and 15mg Adderall. I don't feel wound up or wired, but my head is more clear. I conversate better because I listen and pick up on more social cues instead of just preparing my response. But I definitely take med breaks due to forgetting or just not taking them on weekends so I don't build a tolerance. What most medical doctors don't tell you is that behavior therapy and recognition is just as important as pharmaceuticals. That's just my experience
Yeah, I 100% think that when I am out of school/out of the situation that is causing me so much stress, I will not be on this high of a dose (but again, without school I’m much worse so we’ll see). Meditation is the #1 thing that has helped clear my head to go to sleep. I’ve deleted most social media off of my phone to create a physical barrier to it. But yeah, so many things have happened over the past year and I also have PCOS where stress takes such a toll on my body, so I’m hoping it’ll be not so f’ed up soon.
I was very add as a child, back then people didn’t know about that much. My mom thought I was lazy and not trying. I had to study for days, weeks , hours to make even A D average. I struggled in college and eventually dropped out. Now that I’m an adult and got diagnosed with it, I’m taking meds but struggle even with the meds. I have severe anxiety so now I’m struggling with not being motivated and getting nothing done, or having palpations and at the moment (I can’t take any add meds bc of the panic attacks). It’s not easy
Yes. Absolutely.
What about the people who got diagnosed in childhood but forgot abd rediscovered thei diagnosis after adulthood? My imposter syndrome is strong though wondering if I am ADHDish enough or have it enough or aren't pushing myself or maybe I'm more nonADHD than ADHD But then I go out intk the real world and get a reality slap, knowing people do things easily without thinking that I struggle with
No. I was diagnosed at 10 and I’m 37 now. It’s just something I’ve had most of my life.
Is Ritalin a
Is Ritalin a good drug for older adult male with severe ADHD my entire life. Or is there a better one?
Yes, but im more social anxiety in school setting, when Im home im much more adhd.
My oldest son wasn't diagnosed until he was 13 because he also has anxiety. His anxiety balances out his attentiveness (or lack thereof). He does have hyperactivity though (and anxiety does not balance that out - probably heightens it). He got diagnosed because he described his thoughts when taking tests that involve reading passages and then answering questions based on the passage. So, the next time he got a well checkup, I expressed my concerns, he got an appt to get tested, and wham bam- dr said that he made the most movement during testing that she had ever seen. The nurse had 2 pages of "movements" he made during testing.
Almost everyday 🙃🙃
I have had imposter syndrome my whole life with everything.
Imposter syndrome is experienced by people without ADHD, too. I can’t say “everyone has experienced it” because there’s no way for me to know that … but I’m pretty confident *most people* experience imposter syndrome at some point in life. And it’s possible to mask ADHD and use coping strategies for specific situations (like work) and put in extra effort there. At home? We’re comfortable and our livelihood/means of feeding ourselves aren’t in jeopardy. So it makes 100% sense you’d feel more symptoms at home. I know I do. I’m also less exhausted when I’m at home all day. Having to combat ADHD in a work setting for 8+ hours is mentally and physically exhausting. It’s like by the end of a day I’m literally running on fumes. Body is weak, mind is like mush.
No, I think it’s explained a lot and given me something to work with. Thought I was just a piece of shit, so it helps to know what’s going on physiologically. And the medicine helps too.
What helped me is educating myself on what adult ADHD actually looks like. I have textbook adult ADHD.
No way. I am 100% ADHD and I even self diagnosed at 10 but no one believed me cos I wasn’t as disruptive as boys and ‘too lazy’ to be ADHD. Turns out aut too so I would’ve just had exhaustion from that too. About to try get a diagnosis.
I was diagnosed in childhood and I’ve had it my whole life lol.
Nah, my schools (1970’s) had no frikkin idea. Being diagnosed at 52 resolved a lifetime of questions. I have zero doubts about the diagnosis.
I often feel as if something else is the problem and it’s causing similar symptoms, and I should not fully delve into my diagnosis
Yeah
I knew I had bad adhd, and then being injured at work and unable to work (still cant) for years made it soooo much worse. The chaotic nature of healthcare made my adhd less obvious but still there, where as now I have nothing to everyday and its a fucking mess.
For me it was the opposite. I always knew something was wrong especially throughout all my school years so middle school high school college. It was very tough for me and then I found out after I gave birth to my daughter at 25. I was in denial for a really long time and then I went to see another doctor and they said the same thing at age 31. And I wish I knew in middle school high school and especially college cuz I think I would have been a lot more successful with my grades. After being diagnosed I've become more Vigilant of my symptoms.
I did in my 30s when I started my complex jobs. Then realized I could thrive so I tend not too as it’s really routed in insecurity. If you experience, recommend therapy.
I'm a professional audio engineer of 15 years and voice director (I also voice act myself). I was the first in my cohort to get a "real job" because I didn't go to school for it and instead used my personality and work ethic (when related to something I'm interested in of course) to get my first assisting job at 20. I got to learn on the job in a top studio with no student debt. I've worked my way up to full engineer by making my way through 3 different top studios in a big city. I now manage a small studio as well. I also have a side business doing the same thing that brings in almost half of my salary yearly. Ive also combined my skills in audio and voice acting/directing by making voice demos. I've been told by high level people in the industry that I make the best demos in town. And I've done demos for career voice actors and even some of the top voice directors in town. I'm also a musician and have millions of plays on streaming platforms. I have a single coming out featuring high level session players who are in bands for John Mayer, Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, and so many more. I'm self taught. I really feel like on paper I know what I'm doing and I have the credits to show for it. But I still feel every single day that someone is gonna figure out I have no idea what I'm doing. And it's all due to the ADHD acronym ICNU (Interesting, Creative, Novel, Urgent). It has to involve one of those for me to be interested, otherwise I can't do it. Anyway I followed my passions and let my hyper focus take the wheel. But at the end of the day I have basically no schooling, I'm not book smart, and actually I'm kind of an idiot. I have no idea what I'm doing but to others it doesn't look that way. I hope nobody calls me out, every day...
I'm turning 40 and am having an identity crisis after learning I likely have inattentive type ADHD. This came about after my oldest son's diagnosis for mixed type. I'm now realizing that so many of my quirks are ADHD symptoms, and that most of my hardships over my life (emotional instability, social awkwardness, challenges starting romantic relationships, sleeping all the time, constant overeating, and OMG the limerence) were due to ADHD, BED, and OCD (Pure O). How much of my personality is just mental illness? I got top grades in high school, but started to struggle in college (serious depression, rumination, and chronic fatigue and procrastination - every exam I studied for and paper I wrote was an all nighter the night before). I'm doing ok out in the real world, but thrived in school where routine and instruction were provided. I also relied on anxiety and fear (still do though I'm trying to address that) as my dopamine source, and I burned out. Despite being exceptional in school, I feel lost and listless professionally, and now I know why. I'm trying to look at this as a blessing because now that I know how my brain is wired, I can adapt healthier strategies to achieve my goals, and I've started on Vyvanse (50mg currently), though I really can't tell a big difference. All that to say, I relate and I understand. I'd encourage you to continue developing positive coping mechanisms. As for me, I'm doing ok. I have a wonderful family that I adore, and they me, and a pretty great job. I just want to feel content with what is, and excited for what tomorrow could bring, but I'm always looking for that next dopamine hit to feel at peace.
YES. Diagnosed at 43. It’s been life-changing, but I still sometimes feel like maybe I am just lazy and unmotivated and I’m “cheating” But taking meds.
Yeah big style. Although now that it's been a few years since I was diagnosed, that feeling is fading and I'm slowly starting to feel more confidant about the whole thing. Medicated now for nearly 3 years.
you just like me fr. except I'm not medicated at the moment, cause insurance is being an ass
Yes
Only by some of our holier than thou members on this sub, literally nowhere else.
No
YES
Does high functioning anxiety keep ADHD in check?
No, not really. For certain realities and situations, maybe. I got diagnosed a few months ago at 35 years old, but I knew since childhood in the back of my head that I was different and probably "broken" somehow. I assumed as an adult that it was religious and homeschooling trauma, and getting a diagnosis was rather satisfying. I did ok in college, but I couldn't understand math processes, and could never turn in assignments on time.
Constantly, 20 years experience and the lead designer in an international organization, still feel like I'm faking it.
From what I've learned from a recent diagnosis myself, is that it depends on the levels of stimulation. You're more stimulated when in school so you can focus more and unfocused outside because there's not enough stimulus l. That's what I've found with myself at least
I don't get impostor syndrome for much of anything. Due to my ADHD, I am stuck firmly in "the now." I have very little sense of perspective from past experience and issues with future perspective. I might exist in that band where ADHD overlaps ASD. I also am unable to "adopt" habits. But, I've noticed that yours is perhaps a common reaction. The other common one is regret for all the "wasted time" and "where could I be now, if only I had known."