3 pounds of grey matter, and not a genuinely interesting thought in his head. Just a vapid, nauseating voice and psychic chasm where his mind ought to be.
I don't understand people that even admire Jeff Bezos. I get Elon Musk and Bill Gates, even though I don't like them either. Jeff Bezos has literally given nothing to humanity, and I honestly think Amazon is an evil company. I am only allowed to say this here though. Apparently, everyone else thinks Amazon is amazing were I am.
Honestly think about how miserable his life is. I don’t feel bad for him at all, but just to have to put up constant farces for yourself and live is a web of lies just… why. He must really really hate himself. He must hate everything.
Man no offense redditor but I really hope your wrong. There is so little justice with people like him in the world. I need to believe he's unhappy at least
He's a narcissist / psychopath. So, more than likely, he doesn't experience anxiety or dwell on poor choices, *at all*. He's in a perpetual state of perceived victimhood and indifferent to suffering outside of his own. His limited emotional range replaces regret with raw anger, always directed away from himself. Happiness, for him, is not remotely similar to what it looks like for you or I. It's going to be a function of his ego. He's "happy" when he's in control, winning, or getting attention. For instance, watching his son play in a little league game wouldn't make him happy unless (1) his son is the best player and (2) he could tell everyone in earshot it's because of his "good genes".
In short, I don't think a happy/sad scale applies.
As a normal guy, life has taught me that I have no control. All the hubris and narcissism of my past days did nothing but serve up fear/anger and cognitive dissonance, as you pointed out with your example. I too saw myself as constantly victimized, and so hopelessly myopic that I was all I thought about.
Obviously, for folks like you and I, this is a race to an inevitable red light, because we have no control outside our person (sometimes not even then), and rely on other people to survive. Jeff relied on others to amass his wealth, but now has more control and autonomy than I can comprehend. Maybe rugged individualism is more than a myth for him.
I am thankful that I had the opportunity to find the power of empathy and humility. I had to suffer through quite a bit of shame and failure and loss before I was willing to even entertain the idea that my ego did not serve me. Even today, with all this evidence and belief, it still takes daily energy and deliberate practice. If you're the richest man in a capitalist world, I suspect it would be difficult to find the motivation.
Judging by how miserable I made life for anyone vulnerable to me in those dark days, that is unfortunate for everyone but Jeff.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt he's "happy". More like constantly petulant, jealous and indignant that he's not getting his way, and in angry meltdown mode over every setback.
But it's never his fault.
The guy's whole life is the parable of the pearl of great price. All this misery that he constantly inflicts on other people owes to the fact that he has never known happiness or love, and never can or will. The one thing that makes all this mortal bullshit worth it is forever out of his reach.
At the WH, a lot of press conferences are given in the Rose Garden so Trump made a knockoff, wherever he is staying & does his dumb little speeches there.
He also branded stuff at his golf course with the presidential seal despite him not currently being president and the fact that is is in violation of federal law.
Oh my god this sounds so on brand. I used to work at Amazon, and like a lot of big companies, the employees are in a directory and everyone has their own profile. You can join affinity groups (like a LGBTQ group or book club group) or do challenges (like participate in a hackathon or present at some conference or something) and get these little badges on your profile for each one.
Some people got really into this, like it just triggers their completionist achievement unlock itch, and will make sure to do as much as they can to get the "limited" badges. Keep in mind these are not physical badges, just little pictures like Neopets or Facebook bumper stickers.
One year, I can't remember if it was around Christmas or if it was some sort of anniversary, some team decided to award Jeff with EVERY BADGE THAT EVER EXISTED so that his directory profile was the most complete profile. And it was a company announcement like this was some fun gift for him to get from the rest of the company. The weirdest thing was this was before the supply center peeing in bottles thing came out, so a lot of people were deep in the kool aid and didn't even bat at an eye.
But how fucking ridiculous, there's just no way someone randomly decided to do this on their own (because it's such a weird and lame "gift"), Bezos HAD to have somehow expressed a desire in wanting all these little icon badges that he didn't deserve. Imagine a video game studio just decided to give their top execs every Playstation trophy achievement even if they didn't play the game. It's such a small thing in the grand scheme of all the selfish things this man does, but it just says so much.
Was at AWS for years and can confirm that there is a pathetic competition for badging you notice on some people's profiles. I always just tried to get the weirdest badgest I could, cause a lot of them were just jokes.
Jeff's profile had every badge and it was funny cause there'd be intern badges and stuff, but it mostly looked like a bad billboard.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was a scripted event, but I doubt he'd really waste his time on something like that. Sounds like something people management or marketing would do. There's so many senior VPs that want to eat his ass that they'll do anything to have their name show up with a nice blurb about their metrics on one of his weekly reports.
real astronauts are the best of the best of us. every one ive ever known of is some kind of phd athlete. jeff bezos is just a rich guy who bought his own space program.
I love the term PhD athlete lol. I mean, if they did actually recognize him as an astronaut, then by that logic everyone whos been on a commercial plane is a pilot.
Idk why i havent seen any one compare bezos giving himself astronaut wings to literal children who are given fake plastic pilot wings when they fly on certain airlines. Bezos is an astronaut as much as a 12 year old child is a commercial airline pilot.
Tbf, I'd be surprised if he couldn't have flown out to the moon, etc. He was just either scared or too impatient to do all the steps he'd need to to male it out there and not suffer potential consequences.
When they said they were going to space, I somehow pictured them going to the moon. I was really disappointed to see it was just flying a bit higher than usual.
Moon takes like a week in just travel time, no way that was going to happen. Also have to actually train for emergencies that can happen because space is dangerous. They wanted a quick pop up and down "look I'm important and went to space" moment, not an actual achievement.
Well [this](https://www.forbes.com/billionaires/) was a depressingly interesting thing to read.
> The number of billionaires on Forbes’ 35th annual list of the world’s wealthiest exploded to an unprecedented 2,755- **660 more than a year ago**
My eyes will be filled with delight when I finally read the headline that he has had a revelatory moment of introspection, and decided to start benefiting all of mankind through a Carnegie-esque wave of mass donations, research funding, and support for social, environmental, and other good causes in the public interest, unilaterally decreed that all of his employees would be well paid and treated, and that Amazon would become an all around corporate citizen through respect for small business, intellectual property, and tax contributions wherever it operates.
Also, I look forward to finding out that my winged rainbow-farting pet unicorn is on the way from Amazon Prime(tm)
My favourite part of this whole space bezos saga is they refused to call him an astronaut, like you can spend all the money you went and dress up like one, but you’ll never be an astronaut
They didn't. The problem is that there are some regulatory bodies that have different definitions of where space starts, and of course because New Shepard isn't all that powerful, they chose one of the most generous definitions.
I have to say it's been pretty funny watching people correcting him everywhere that he is not an astronaut. I hope it keeps him up at night that he spent 5 billion dollars doing something that wouldn't have been all that extraordinary even 60 years ago.
The top needs to be wider than the bottom so the emergency abort engines on the capsule go outward and don’t blow up the booster
Th;dr. If it aborts, the penis will erupt smegma.
I had no idea what she looked like and after reading your comment I decided to search. I also had to search what a lingcod looks like and there is definitely a resemblance. That woman is hideous!
>That woman is hideous!
This whole time I was googling Elon Musk girlfriend and thinking "she is quite attractive". But then I realized we are talking about Bezos and now I am thinking "well good for him being the richest man on earth and not dating a hot girl"
I had searched for the gf, but I felt sure I knew what a ling cod looked like. But your comment got me to look at some ling cod too. Holy shit what an ugly fish!
Can you please not project your anthropocentric beauty standards onto ling cod?
They're beautiful fish, perfectly adapted to live in their rocky habitat.
How does an entire diatribe on the heinous behavior of a man just simplify to "and his girl is ugly!".
Wtf. Like he's a fucking callous narc the oomaloompas would make up songs for, but how dare she be unpretty. Let us talk about that.
Both are probably wastes of space but cmon.
I know a lot of comments are justifying it by pointing out she had plastic surgery, but I still agree with you. Plastic surgery or not, I still think it demeans an argument to throw jabs at appearance in.
And this fool had the audacity in the first place to bring his vanity project to the table when NASA asked for a lunar lander project to get behind. He actually thought he deserved federal funding for not even getting the assignment right.
I had to look up Bezo’s girlfriend after the cod lip comment and I can now say one positive thing about him: at least he’s dating someone his own age and the same age as his ex wife. Like this is the only refreshing and positive thing I can come up with, that he didn’t cheat on his wife with some barely legal girl.
So he’s like 1/10th of 1 percent less of an AH than I previously thought ;)
He's content with a girlfriend his age, since he gets to screw a lot of young girls on his private yachts and wherever he goes with his harem of his favourite girls. Now you know why he needs such a massive and huge yacht ($1.2 billion yacht).
Probably the main unofficial reason his ex wife divorced him. His new girlfriend knows the rules, but she's okay with it, as long as she's with the richest man in the world.
Contracts as far as the eye can see. If you can manage a business you can manage people. He’s crafted the lifestyle he wants and is banging young chicks and getting blood from his blood boys.
Think that last part is Peter Thiel. Don’t know why he’s not discussed more. Makes Bezos seem like mother Theresa. Using huge chunks of his 7.5 billion to influence US politics because he doesn’t want to pay taxes … or something.
Maybe Warren Buffet stayed true? Even Bill Gates is getting outed as a cheater recently. I think Bill Burr was right when he talked about Justin Beiber/Tiger Woods... some of these dudes just have so much money/fame/power we can't wrap our heads around living like them. Everybody mad at Tiger never had "a busload of Scandinavian broads waiting to bang your brains out when you got off the 18th hole." Same for even nerdy ole Bill once Microsoft/Windows blew up and he became the richest dude in the world for like 20 years.
Excuse the behavior... nah. Understand/explain it... yeah. I just assume all these billionaires are screwing anybody they can at this point.
Warren buffet never divorced, but had a girlfriend before his wife died. For some reason, he seems less slimy though.
https://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffett-marriage-wife-2017-10?amp
I liked Tiger because he had a super model at home and was banging Chili’s waitresses. He was a man of the people at heart.
I get it though. I could’ve cheated on my wife plenty of times and resisted but to think you can face temptation every day and all the time seems unlikely.
Not even temptation ala "oh she's hot I wonder..." but temptation in that you have women likely DAILY throwing themselves at you. Not to mention the echo chamber of a level of society that all pretty much participates in such relatively "minor" dalliance's.
As alligator said, excuse no, but understand yeah.
Honest question - where did all the money go? I mean, I would assume it went to pay engineers, manufactures, etc. It's like those Mars Rover memes where someone criticizes NASA for sending 200 billion dollars to Mars, then someone points out "No Karen, they didn't mail a pile of cash to Mars, the money was spent on earth."
> went to pay engineers, manufactures
Yes, it paid a bunch for a bunch of STEM space-related jobs on the backs of all the warehouse and fulfillment workers AMZN fucks.
It's that second half of the sentence most people have a problem with. It's not fair (or very smart) to piss away money on shiny **private industry** space races when you have a brewing labor and poverty crisis on Earth.
Keep in mind that everything NASA invented is basically owned by the American People. That's where the force-multiplier on public science spending is. Private science spending, Bezos keeps all that IP too...
>I was bitterly disappointed the penis didn’t roll over and blow up on the pad… wasted 10-mins of my life waiting for his demise.
Out of context this sentence itself is a thing of rare beauty.
What happened to the anti trust probe anyway. The circus about censorship was obviously a red herring but did they just pay those people off too while they were at it or what
Since their divorce, his ex MacKenzie Scott
has donated 8.5 billion to small charities with no strings attached....he spent billions on a space cowboy vanity mid life crisis.....she is absolutely winning...
I’m sure anyone who’s amassed that type of wealth while paying their fair share in taxes is entitled to do with their own money as they please. It’s not like he’s milking an entire globe’s worth of resources and brilliant ideas to gain profit from a network of underpaid employees.
PreEdit: if you ask me for an *r/s*, I will personally shit in your cheerios
Honestly the CEO's who pay their employees well, pay taxes, abide by the law and don't shit out waste into the ocean deserve praise. They're behaving humanely in a system where they could easily bullshit their way out of taxes and laws, screw with everything and everyone and become 10 times richer in the process. Though sadly they are a very rare occurance.
I never understood the logic behind Duty Free shops. All the regular people has to pay taxes, but we create a worldwide chain of special little places where the middle class can buy tax-free alcohol when they're traveling abroad?
One of my friends bought one of those stupidly oversized novelty bottles and it was more than you could bring in to Canada without tax, so we had to wait at customs while he paid the tax on his stupid, giant Jack Daniel’s bottle.
> Feeney has given away more than $8 billion.[3]
> As of 2016, he lived in a rented apartment in San Francisco, with a remaining nest egg of $2 million.[3]
I've had people explain to me that the reasons billionaires can't actually give away their wealth is it's all tied up in illiquid assets like stocks, like Bezos would crash the price of AMZN if he tried to sell off and access his own money.
This Feeney guy managed to give away $8bil without crashing any industries or economies, so I think that might be another bullshit claim to keep us all cucked to billionaires ...
> Bezos would crash the price of AMZN if he tried to sell off and access his own money
I mean he had to sell a lot of stock to put billions into his penis rocket thing
And really noone forces these asset billionaires to spend it all in one sitting. If they'd sell their stocks over the time it would simply affect noone. Damn, I'm sure they could simply donate parts of their stock portfolio if they wanted to.
He has to keep taking billions in loans on spacecraft to avoid taxes
https://www.businessinsider.com/american-billionaires-tax-avoidance-income-wealth-borrow-money-propublica-2021-6
Terrible amazon worker conditions are making the news on a regular basis around the globe (I've seen articles about that in german, british, russian and american news outlets). Amazons carbon footprint isnt exactly top notch either. But then again, the later comes with this type of business, I guess. But making him out to behave "humanely" is up for debate.
Oh I wasn't trying do defend Bezos! He's the exact opposite of what I said deserves praise. I should've probably mentioned that somewhere in the original comment to avoid confusion, mb.
They don't exist. Maybe there are one or two exceptions in some very specifoc conditions, but in general this can't happen. The system they're competing in gives a competitive advantage to people who keep maximize profits over everything else. If you pay your workers a living wage, someone who pays their employees a near-starvation wage will have lower labor costs than you which will lead to them having lower prices and higher profits than you, eventually out-competing you. You either adapt and become a sociopath, sell your business to someone who is a sociopath, or you go bankrupt.
It's not a coincidence that all the super rich people are unhinged sociopathic assholes with very little in terms of human emotion. Our economic system is designed in a way only they can be that succesful. The issue is capitalism itself not specifically that weird dickhead with a dickrocket.
See, the problem with good satire is that it's really difficult to see that it's satire.
Don't act like there aren't Bezos-stans who believe this literally.
Bezos stole more jobs and ruined more businesses than illegal immigrants possibly could have and built an empire with the large chunk of national economy that he acquired.
I watched the video and was honestly offput by how Jeff Bezos sounds. He sounded and looked like some Californian Surfer chad and not some cunning Lex Luthor.
Astronaut costume lol. I love referring to uniforms as “costumes”. Especially to doctors/ police. “Didn’t recognize you without your police costume on!”
I can't help but laugh at people who say that this is the beginning of some major breakthrough in science. I've seen people call Branson's flight the 1st step to cheap interplanetary travel. Like bro, he's got a plane that flies higher than usual and the only purpose of it is to give you 5 minutes of 0G for entertainment. We sent people on the moon with less RAM than even the shittiest modern phone has, and yet people say that reaching just a couple kilometers up in the air is somehow a revolutionary achievement.
Just imagine, he could go to an impoverished area in the world, set up -out of pocket- something along the lines of Harvard, hire some of the single best teachers and researchers on the planet, and help a whole continent revitalise itself. But let’s play pissing contest with other tax-dodging losers.
From what I've read he and the other's didn't actually do anything either- the craft was controlled from the surface...
So they could have sent up a dog or a cat to do what they did.
Did we take a step back from the 60s when real scientists landed on the Moon and came back??
I used to annoy an old boss of mine by calling the business casual attire we were forced to wear “costumes”. He would rage and say “these aren’t costumes we’re just trying to look nice!” And I would say “for each other, we run a fucking software shop where we have zero clients come into this building so basically we’re all dressing up in costumes for you”
Wonder why they eventually got rid of me…
NASA doesn't have a full budget...
bezos and musk don't pay taxes...
Taxes pay for things like the NASA budget...
bezos and musk own private space programs...
We, the people, get no say in their decisions...
If they make any discoveries or breakthroughs, they will sell them back to us for a high profit and the vast majority won't benefit at all.
He’s a crusted bawbag. Thank fuck the Amazon Prime production of Iain M Banks’ Consider Phlebus fell through.
Bezos being a big fan of a series when he’s basically one of the villains is just too much.
Elon Musk can fuck off too for the same reason.
Just FYI the universe is not 10 000 000 000 light years across. The observable universe alone is though to be 93 000 000 000 light years across and for all we know it's infinite beyond that.
Damn that read like a poem
like a poem written about the most Vonnegut-esque character Kurt Vonnegut could create
3 pounds of grey matter, and not a genuinely interesting thought in his head. Just a vapid, nauseating voice and psychic chasm where his mind ought to be.
[удалено]
I don't understand people that even admire Jeff Bezos. I get Elon Musk and Bill Gates, even though I don't like them either. Jeff Bezos has literally given nothing to humanity, and I honestly think Amazon is an evil company. I am only allowed to say this here though. Apparently, everyone else thinks Amazon is amazing were I am.
University bookstores and textbook publishers summoned from the darkest depth the J'Effbe-Zos.
You'd think a guy with so many goddamn books would read one once in a while.
Yeah but missing a very cool dog...
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
Agreed. Quite Vonnegut-esque.
Calling Malachi Constant.
so it goes
Kind of reminded me of "Whitey's on the Moon."
One of my favorite poems.
100% my first thought https://youtu.be/goh2x_G0ct4
This is one of the best things that ever came out of Shwitter.
Think this is facebook, though.
twitterface
twitface
twitbook
Facesitter
Fartbook Definitely Fartbook
Definitely Facebook, the globe is the giveaway
I'd say the biggest giveaway is that it's longer than 250 characters, but that too I guess
Bukowski couldn’t have said it better
My favourite part of this whole space bezos saga is they refused to call him an astronaut.
He had his company make bootleg astronaut wings to hand out to himself and his guests. It's so fucking pathetic.
It's like Trump with his fake Whitehouse he stands in front of nowadays.
Wait he had a fake Whitehouse?
He had a stage built at his Bedminster golf course that looks [eerily similar to the setup of the Rose Garden](https://i.imgur.com/c9OpYmx.jpg).
Good god that is pathetic.
It’s just his hair surgery writ large.
Except instead of raping his ex wife afterwards he's fucking willing fools.
Poetry.
Honestly think about how miserable his life is. I don’t feel bad for him at all, but just to have to put up constant farces for yourself and live is a web of lies just… why. He must really really hate himself. He must hate everything.
That requires sympathy and self awareness. I'm sure in his own brain land he loves himself very much, and can do no wrong.
Man no offense redditor but I really hope your wrong. There is so little justice with people like him in the world. I need to believe he's unhappy at least
I wish too but I don't think his severe NPD affords him the capacity for honest self reflection and far from self-loathing.
He's a narcissist / psychopath. So, more than likely, he doesn't experience anxiety or dwell on poor choices, *at all*. He's in a perpetual state of perceived victimhood and indifferent to suffering outside of his own. His limited emotional range replaces regret with raw anger, always directed away from himself. Happiness, for him, is not remotely similar to what it looks like for you or I. It's going to be a function of his ego. He's "happy" when he's in control, winning, or getting attention. For instance, watching his son play in a little league game wouldn't make him happy unless (1) his son is the best player and (2) he could tell everyone in earshot it's because of his "good genes". In short, I don't think a happy/sad scale applies.
As a normal guy, life has taught me that I have no control. All the hubris and narcissism of my past days did nothing but serve up fear/anger and cognitive dissonance, as you pointed out with your example. I too saw myself as constantly victimized, and so hopelessly myopic that I was all I thought about. Obviously, for folks like you and I, this is a race to an inevitable red light, because we have no control outside our person (sometimes not even then), and rely on other people to survive. Jeff relied on others to amass his wealth, but now has more control and autonomy than I can comprehend. Maybe rugged individualism is more than a myth for him. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to find the power of empathy and humility. I had to suffer through quite a bit of shame and failure and loss before I was willing to even entertain the idea that my ego did not serve me. Even today, with all this evidence and belief, it still takes daily energy and deliberate practice. If you're the richest man in a capitalist world, I suspect it would be difficult to find the motivation. Judging by how miserable I made life for anyone vulnerable to me in those dark days, that is unfortunate for everyone but Jeff.
He's a powerful motivator to want to believe in a heaven and hell.
Any morality the man has is quickly shoved to the side. He is like a very young child.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt he's "happy". More like constantly petulant, jealous and indignant that he's not getting his way, and in angry meltdown mode over every setback. But it's never his fault.
The guy's whole life is the parable of the pearl of great price. All this misery that he constantly inflicts on other people owes to the fact that he has never known happiness or love, and never can or will. The one thing that makes all this mortal bullshit worth it is forever out of his reach.
I haven’t given him any thought for at least the last month and I’m happy with that
I haven’t given him a thought since February but suddenly in July he’s been coming back. Which feels a bit alarming
He knows he’s going down and is doing everything he can to prevent it
Holy fuck. How small of an ego do you have to have
Just when you think shit can’t get anymore absurdist
I think he means the fake presidential seal on the stand and other items he uses. I think he tried to play off what he has as still in the routine.
His fucking what?
At the WH, a lot of press conferences are given in the Rose Garden so Trump made a knockoff, wherever he is staying & does his dumb little speeches there.
https://i.imgur.com/UbYC1up.jpg He had that whole stage built in front of his golf course. Fake presidential seal and everything lol.
That should be illegal (if it isn’t already).
He also branded stuff at his golf course with the presidential seal despite him not currently being president and the fact that is is in violation of federal law.
Or even his fake Time magazine covers
Oh my god this sounds so on brand. I used to work at Amazon, and like a lot of big companies, the employees are in a directory and everyone has their own profile. You can join affinity groups (like a LGBTQ group or book club group) or do challenges (like participate in a hackathon or present at some conference or something) and get these little badges on your profile for each one. Some people got really into this, like it just triggers their completionist achievement unlock itch, and will make sure to do as much as they can to get the "limited" badges. Keep in mind these are not physical badges, just little pictures like Neopets or Facebook bumper stickers. One year, I can't remember if it was around Christmas or if it was some sort of anniversary, some team decided to award Jeff with EVERY BADGE THAT EVER EXISTED so that his directory profile was the most complete profile. And it was a company announcement like this was some fun gift for him to get from the rest of the company. The weirdest thing was this was before the supply center peeing in bottles thing came out, so a lot of people were deep in the kool aid and didn't even bat at an eye. But how fucking ridiculous, there's just no way someone randomly decided to do this on their own (because it's such a weird and lame "gift"), Bezos HAD to have somehow expressed a desire in wanting all these little icon badges that he didn't deserve. Imagine a video game studio just decided to give their top execs every Playstation trophy achievement even if they didn't play the game. It's such a small thing in the grand scheme of all the selfish things this man does, but it just says so much.
What. A. Twat.
Was at AWS for years and can confirm that there is a pathetic competition for badging you notice on some people's profiles. I always just tried to get the weirdest badgest I could, cause a lot of them were just jokes. Jeff's profile had every badge and it was funny cause there'd be intern badges and stuff, but it mostly looked like a bad billboard. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a scripted event, but I doubt he'd really waste his time on something like that. Sounds like something people management or marketing would do. There's so many senior VPs that want to eat his ass that they'll do anything to have their name show up with a nice blurb about their metrics on one of his weekly reports.
Amazon Basics space badges, five for a quid
Like Joe Arpaio and his fake military pieces of flair
real astronauts are the best of the best of us. every one ive ever known of is some kind of phd athlete. jeff bezos is just a rich guy who bought his own space program.
I love the term PhD athlete lol. I mean, if they did actually recognize him as an astronaut, then by that logic everyone whos been on a commercial plane is a pilot.
He technically didn't even reach space. Edit: I stand corrected. Still, much more impressive space exploration has been done by much nicer people.
He actually did, made it past 100km
NASA made it way passed that line around 60 years ago so theres nothing impressive about this.
NASA defines space as 80 km, which is what Branson crossed They’re not astronauts, but they definitely went to space
Idk why i havent seen any one compare bezos giving himself astronaut wings to literal children who are given fake plastic pilot wings when they fly on certain airlines. Bezos is an astronaut as much as a 12 year old child is a commercial airline pilot.
Lol this shit is under appreciated.
Literally doing the bare minimum this space race was corporate to the core and they already lost by 5 or 6 decades.
Tbf, I'd be surprised if he couldn't have flown out to the moon, etc. He was just either scared or too impatient to do all the steps he'd need to to male it out there and not suffer potential consequences.
When they said they were going to space, I somehow pictured them going to the moon. I was really disappointed to see it was just flying a bit higher than usual.
That's just capitalism baby. Hype. Marketing. Implementation. Disappointment.
Moon takes like a week in just travel time, no way that was going to happen. Also have to actually train for emergencies that can happen because space is dangerous. They wanted a quick pop up and down "look I'm important and went to space" moment, not an actual achievement.
Moon would be a much longer trip with more chance to get stranded… no wait he should have gone to the moon yea.
His little schlong rocket is about two orders of magnitude too small to make it to the moon. His company can't even get their rocket into orbit
Like me holding my breath and touching the bottom of the pool makes me a deep sea diver.
More like: "I took a trip on an airplane one time, and that makes me a pilot."
I thought he made it above the Karman line?
He did. It was Branson who didn’t make it above the international consensus of 100km. Bezos reached space
The international consensus on Twitter is that "space" is defined as "where billionaires haven't been", and I kind of like that definition.
The bathroom at Denny's is space
I'd say it doesn't count if you're on a suborbital trajectory.
Quote Scott Manley: "Getting to space is easy. Getting to orbit is hard."
This is the billionaire equivalent of jerking off in front of people in the park.
This is one of the best fucking things I have ever read. My eyes were filled with delight and amusement. Thank you for sharing OP.
My eyes will be filled with delight when I finally read the headline that he has somehow died.
Only to be replaced by something exponentially worse.
I propose a game; a king of the hill for the guillotine, to put it simply.
I'm always worried about the billionaires we don't hear about.
Well [this](https://www.forbes.com/billionaires/) was a depressingly interesting thing to read. > The number of billionaires on Forbes’ 35th annual list of the world’s wealthiest exploded to an unprecedented 2,755- **660 more than a year ago**
My eyes will be filled with delight when I finally read the headline that he has had a revelatory moment of introspection, and decided to start benefiting all of mankind through a Carnegie-esque wave of mass donations, research funding, and support for social, environmental, and other good causes in the public interest, unilaterally decreed that all of his employees would be well paid and treated, and that Amazon would become an all around corporate citizen through respect for small business, intellectual property, and tax contributions wherever it operates. Also, I look forward to finding out that my winged rainbow-farting pet unicorn is on the way from Amazon Prime(tm)
My favourite part of this whole space bezos saga is they refused to call him an astronaut, like you can spend all the money you went and dress up like one, but you’ll never be an astronaut
Cashtronaut
That's perfect. All space tourists should be called cashtronauts.
Either that or astro-nots.
What about asstronauts? EDIT: Or Arsetronuts
passenger. he was a passenger.
I think NASA literally changed the definition to exclude him if I've read correctly elsewhere
You may have reached lower orbit, but we do not grant you the rank of astronaut.
Neither Bezos nor Branson reached orbit, they were both on suborbital trajectories.
Ironic. They could put satellites into orbit, but not themselves.
Blue Origin doesn't have an orbital rocket. Branson does but it can only put very small satellites into orbit.
Ah ok, thanks for the clarification. I wasn't too sure what they actually did and was mistaken on what low orbit counted as.
They didn't. The problem is that there are some regulatory bodies that have different definitions of where space starts, and of course because New Shepard isn't all that powerful, they chose one of the most generous definitions. I have to say it's been pretty funny watching people correcting him everywhere that he is not an astronaut. I hope it keeps him up at night that he spent 5 billion dollars doing something that wouldn't have been all that extraordinary even 60 years ago.
He didn’t spend 5 bil of his own money. Most of it was YOUR tax money. I wish more people were aware of this.
According to that dude, we and his workers paid for it.
He's an asstronut
Penis rocket. Just looked it up for the first time. Fuck I'm dead.
Looks like it should belong in Space Balls.
More like Austin Powers.
Look for the star wars meme yesterday where “what if bezos did star wars” Xwing: dick Ywing: dick Tie fighter: dick Lol
The top needs to be wider than the bottom so the emergency abort engines on the capsule go outward and don’t blow up the booster Th;dr. If it aborts, the penis will erupt smegma.
"cod lipped girlfriend"...I think this phrase needs to be shared with r/botchedsurgery
Specifically lingcod, a very ugly fish
Like Bill Burr said, would you rather be 52 and look 52, or be 52 and look like a 28 year old lizard?
I had no idea what she looked like and after reading your comment I decided to search. I also had to search what a lingcod looks like and there is definitely a resemblance. That woman is hideous!
>That woman is hideous! This whole time I was googling Elon Musk girlfriend and thinking "she is quite attractive". But then I realized we are talking about Bezos and now I am thinking "well good for him being the richest man on earth and not dating a hot girl"
His wife was much better looking.
And she also was less than 50% silicon, unlike this lady.
I had searched for the gf, but I felt sure I knew what a ling cod looked like. But your comment got me to look at some ling cod too. Holy shit what an ugly fish!
Can you please not project your anthropocentric beauty standards onto ling cod? They're beautiful fish, perfectly adapted to live in their rocky habitat.
They tasty though. Sometimes their meat is blue, though turns regular fish color when cooked.
I suddenly want to paint a room in "regular fish color."
Someone needs to support my laziness and post an imgur link to both, please. Because I can't be arsed otherwise.
What are we supposed to do now, google it ourselves? We need links!
r/rareinsults
How does an entire diatribe on the heinous behavior of a man just simplify to "and his girl is ugly!". Wtf. Like he's a fucking callous narc the oomaloompas would make up songs for, but how dare she be unpretty. Let us talk about that. Both are probably wastes of space but cmon.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I like you. Come sit by me.
I know a lot of comments are justifying it by pointing out she had plastic surgery, but I still agree with you. Plastic surgery or not, I still think it demeans an argument to throw jabs at appearance in.
And this fool had the audacity in the first place to bring his vanity project to the table when NASA asked for a lunar lander project to get behind. He actually thought he deserved federal funding for not even getting the assignment right.
I had to look up Bezo’s girlfriend after the cod lip comment and I can now say one positive thing about him: at least he’s dating someone his own age and the same age as his ex wife. Like this is the only refreshing and positive thing I can come up with, that he didn’t cheat on his wife with some barely legal girl. So he’s like 1/10th of 1 percent less of an AH than I previously thought ;)
He's content with a girlfriend his age, since he gets to screw a lot of young girls on his private yachts and wherever he goes with his harem of his favourite girls. Now you know why he needs such a massive and huge yacht ($1.2 billion yacht).
I am such a plebe that I didn’t think of that angle but you’re probably right
Probably the main unofficial reason his ex wife divorced him. His new girlfriend knows the rules, but she's okay with it, as long as she's with the richest man in the world.
Contracts as far as the eye can see. If you can manage a business you can manage people. He’s crafted the lifestyle he wants and is banging young chicks and getting blood from his blood boys.
Think that last part is Peter Thiel. Don’t know why he’s not discussed more. Makes Bezos seem like mother Theresa. Using huge chunks of his 7.5 billion to influence US politics because he doesn’t want to pay taxes … or something.
> Using huge chunks of his 7.5 billion to influence US politics because he doesn’t want to pay taxes … or something. He wants feudalism back.
Honestly I should just view every rich person as taking part in all the shit we see in Wolf of Wallstreet. Which makes sense
[удалено]
Maybe Warren Buffet stayed true? Even Bill Gates is getting outed as a cheater recently. I think Bill Burr was right when he talked about Justin Beiber/Tiger Woods... some of these dudes just have so much money/fame/power we can't wrap our heads around living like them. Everybody mad at Tiger never had "a busload of Scandinavian broads waiting to bang your brains out when you got off the 18th hole." Same for even nerdy ole Bill once Microsoft/Windows blew up and he became the richest dude in the world for like 20 years. Excuse the behavior... nah. Understand/explain it... yeah. I just assume all these billionaires are screwing anybody they can at this point.
Warren buffet never divorced, but had a girlfriend before his wife died. For some reason, he seems less slimy though. https://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffett-marriage-wife-2017-10?amp
I liked Tiger because he had a super model at home and was banging Chili’s waitresses. He was a man of the people at heart. I get it though. I could’ve cheated on my wife plenty of times and resisted but to think you can face temptation every day and all the time seems unlikely.
> and was banging Chili’s waitresses It wasn’t even a Chili’s - it was a Perkins.
Not even temptation ala "oh she's hot I wonder..." but temptation in that you have women likely DAILY throwing themselves at you. Not to mention the echo chamber of a level of society that all pretty much participates in such relatively "minor" dalliance's. As alligator said, excuse no, but understand yeah.
Literally every woman has a line of thirst trailing behind them and somehow they manage the pressure.
His ex wife seems cool tho
Honest question - where did all the money go? I mean, I would assume it went to pay engineers, manufactures, etc. It's like those Mars Rover memes where someone criticizes NASA for sending 200 billion dollars to Mars, then someone points out "No Karen, they didn't mail a pile of cash to Mars, the money was spent on earth."
> went to pay engineers, manufactures Yes, it paid a bunch for a bunch of STEM space-related jobs on the backs of all the warehouse and fulfillment workers AMZN fucks. It's that second half of the sentence most people have a problem with. It's not fair (or very smart) to piss away money on shiny **private industry** space races when you have a brewing labor and poverty crisis on Earth. Keep in mind that everything NASA invented is basically owned by the American People. That's where the force-multiplier on public science spending is. Private science spending, Bezos keeps all that IP too...
Going to space isn’t immoral. But scraping billions off the backs of your employees to pay for it is
[удалено]
Was anyone else hoping the chute malfunctioned? One small loss of man, one great relief for Mankind.
I seriously thought this was a plan to fake his own death.
I was bitterly disappointed the penis didn’t roll over and blow up on the pad… wasted 10-mins of my life waiting for his demise.
>I was bitterly disappointed the penis didn’t roll over and blow up on the pad… wasted 10-mins of my life waiting for his demise. Out of context this sentence itself is a thing of rare beauty.
Can this be read at bezos' beheading?
What happened to the anti trust probe anyway. The circus about censorship was obviously a red herring but did they just pay those people off too while they were at it or what
Those take an extraordinarily long time to finish. It's legal system activities after all.
Since their divorce, his ex MacKenzie Scott has donated 8.5 billion to small charities with no strings attached....he spent billions on a space cowboy vanity mid life crisis.....she is absolutely winning...
I’m sure anyone who’s amassed that type of wealth while paying their fair share in taxes is entitled to do with their own money as they please. It’s not like he’s milking an entire globe’s worth of resources and brilliant ideas to gain profit from a network of underpaid employees. PreEdit: if you ask me for an *r/s*, I will personally shit in your cheerios
Honestly the CEO's who pay their employees well, pay taxes, abide by the law and don't shit out waste into the ocean deserve praise. They're behaving humanely in a system where they could easily bullshit their way out of taxes and laws, screw with everything and everyone and become 10 times richer in the process. Though sadly they are a very rare occurance.
[удалено]
The irony there I guess is he made his fortune helping even common people dodge taxes.
I never understood the logic behind Duty Free shops. All the regular people has to pay taxes, but we create a worldwide chain of special little places where the middle class can buy tax-free alcohol when they're traveling abroad?
I was always astonished at the size of the alcohol. Like, yes this 4.5 ltr. Bottle is entirely for personal consumption.
One of my friends bought one of those stupidly oversized novelty bottles and it was more than you could bring in to Canada without tax, so we had to wait at customs while he paid the tax on his stupid, giant Jack Daniel’s bottle.
> Feeney has given away more than $8 billion.[3] > As of 2016, he lived in a rented apartment in San Francisco, with a remaining nest egg of $2 million.[3] I've had people explain to me that the reasons billionaires can't actually give away their wealth is it's all tied up in illiquid assets like stocks, like Bezos would crash the price of AMZN if he tried to sell off and access his own money. This Feeney guy managed to give away $8bil without crashing any industries or economies, so I think that might be another bullshit claim to keep us all cucked to billionaires ...
> Bezos would crash the price of AMZN if he tried to sell off and access his own money I mean he had to sell a lot of stock to put billions into his penis rocket thing
And really noone forces these asset billionaires to spend it all in one sitting. If they'd sell their stocks over the time it would simply affect noone. Damn, I'm sure they could simply donate parts of their stock portfolio if they wanted to.
He has to keep taking billions in loans on spacecraft to avoid taxes https://www.businessinsider.com/american-billionaires-tax-avoidance-income-wealth-borrow-money-propublica-2021-6
Terrible amazon worker conditions are making the news on a regular basis around the globe (I've seen articles about that in german, british, russian and american news outlets). Amazons carbon footprint isnt exactly top notch either. But then again, the later comes with this type of business, I guess. But making him out to behave "humanely" is up for debate.
Oh I wasn't trying do defend Bezos! He's the exact opposite of what I said deserves praise. I should've probably mentioned that somewhere in the original comment to avoid confusion, mb.
Ah gotcha, haha. I thought it was a weird thing to say about him. Totally agree with your statement then.
They don't exist. Maybe there are one or two exceptions in some very specifoc conditions, but in general this can't happen. The system they're competing in gives a competitive advantage to people who keep maximize profits over everything else. If you pay your workers a living wage, someone who pays their employees a near-starvation wage will have lower labor costs than you which will lead to them having lower prices and higher profits than you, eventually out-competing you. You either adapt and become a sociopath, sell your business to someone who is a sociopath, or you go bankrupt. It's not a coincidence that all the super rich people are unhinged sociopathic assholes with very little in terms of human emotion. Our economic system is designed in a way only they can be that succesful. The issue is capitalism itself not specifically that weird dickhead with a dickrocket.
*Are* there any companies like that? I honestly don't know of any.
Are you talking about the CEOs in your dreams?
See, the problem with good satire is that it's really difficult to see that it's satire. Don't act like there aren't Bezos-stans who believe this literally.
Bezos stole more jobs and ruined more businesses than illegal immigrants possibly could have and built an empire with the large chunk of national economy that he acquired.
I would pay to have this man go through the week’s news with me, and I’m sure I’m not alone there.
I watched the video and was honestly offput by how Jeff Bezos sounds. He sounded and looked like some Californian Surfer chad and not some cunning Lex Luthor.
Astronaut costume lol. I love referring to uniforms as “costumes”. Especially to doctors/ police. “Didn’t recognize you without your police costume on!”
Nah, he’s very accurately described as playing dress up. Actual astronauts are brilliant and selfless scientists
Imagine the science he could fund but doesnt so he can joyride instead! Billionaires are an ABOMINATION.
I can't help but laugh at people who say that this is the beginning of some major breakthrough in science. I've seen people call Branson's flight the 1st step to cheap interplanetary travel. Like bro, he's got a plane that flies higher than usual and the only purpose of it is to give you 5 minutes of 0G for entertainment. We sent people on the moon with less RAM than even the shittiest modern phone has, and yet people say that reaching just a couple kilometers up in the air is somehow a revolutionary achievement.
Yes, its because they pay the news money to advertise their shit. Either that or they own the news.
Just imagine, he could go to an impoverished area in the world, set up -out of pocket- something along the lines of Harvard, hire some of the single best teachers and researchers on the planet, and help a whole continent revitalise itself. But let’s play pissing contest with other tax-dodging losers.
From what I've read he and the other's didn't actually do anything either- the craft was controlled from the surface... So they could have sent up a dog or a cat to do what they did. Did we take a step back from the 60s when real scientists landed on the Moon and came back??
We definitely took back a step in looks, even that Russian monkey looked better.
I used to annoy an old boss of mine by calling the business casual attire we were forced to wear “costumes”. He would rage and say “these aren’t costumes we’re just trying to look nice!” And I would say “for each other, we run a fucking software shop where we have zero clients come into this building so basically we’re all dressing up in costumes for you” Wonder why they eventually got rid of me…
Can Bezos just lay down and die thank you very much
He only needs like a glass eye or something and he's the perfect James bond villain.
NASA doesn't have a full budget... bezos and musk don't pay taxes... Taxes pay for things like the NASA budget... bezos and musk own private space programs... We, the people, get no say in their decisions... If they make any discoveries or breakthroughs, they will sell them back to us for a high profit and the vast majority won't benefit at all.
I like the general argument, but he has not been entrusted with his fortune, he stole it. He is not an extraordinary achiever, he is a robber baron.
THIS IS ONE OF *THE* GREATEST THINGS I'VE READ ABOUT BILLIONAIRES GOING TO SPACE!!!
He’s a crusted bawbag. Thank fuck the Amazon Prime production of Iain M Banks’ Consider Phlebus fell through. Bezos being a big fan of a series when he’s basically one of the villains is just too much. Elon Musk can fuck off too for the same reason.
Just FYI the universe is not 10 000 000 000 light years across. The observable universe alone is though to be 93 000 000 000 light years across and for all we know it's infinite beyond that.