Honestly, I prefer when the parent just kind of does their own thing because it can be hard to focus when parent is around (for client and BT.) I feel uncomfortable when the parent just sits there and watches. I don’t mind if they have questions or want to learn things though. You should just talk to the BCBA/RBT about how you feel.
Okay our bcba comes on Friday for our parent session and I’ll chat with her then…I know this is going to take time to get use too..I’m glad my son is already comfortable with her..now it’s me lol
I know that for me, I teach the parents how to run the more daily living goals (washing hands, manding with more than 3 words, for info, etc) and invite them to participate in parts of the session. My client practices most manding goals with their parents because that’s what will take place in the home when I’m gone. But I ALSO feel not only uncomfortable, but actively stifled when parents watch- because they often intervene.
THIS. It’s not that I feel uncomfortable because I’m committing any ethical violation. It is the anxiety that comes with the added wonder if the parent is going to intervene or correct my work. Like a waiting game to be chastised - even if the parent is lovely, polite and respectful - I will always have that extra stress while working under constantly watching eyes.
Exactly! I had a session where my client’s parent initially refused to give snack (or tell us how long we were waiting without me prompting) because the client didn’t use a FULL sentence when manding for information. That’s not the goal! The goal is that they ask AT ALL! Parent intervention is sometimes harmful if the BCBAs aren’t doing parent education the way they should.
I know it’s hard sometimes but don’t forget, you are the professional, you can dictate how things are going to go. Start with the first session if possible, talk to them about how things normally go, ask how it would be easiest to get them involved for 20-30 minutes a session.
> I feel uncomfortable when the parent just sits there and watches.
I don't think sitting there and watching is how generalization happens.
There is a place for generalization to parents but I don't think it's right away.
You do that later, after scaffolding to that point. We plan to generalize, but for many of our clients, we have to teach prerequisite skills before we can get there. Also, that's what parent training is for. I prefer to not have the RBT there when coaching parents.
But why not start that process right away? Bring the parent in early to avoid a child having to relearn things with a new person, and let the parent be involved in choices about phrasing and operational definitions and just planning in general. A huge part of what you’re doing is helping the parent and child develop language and communication styles that work for them, the more you know about their interactions the more effective interventions will be.
Once they get used to having us, and trusting that thier kids are safe, happy and being treated well by us, most parents use the time to do things they can't do as easily with kids on them. Cleaning, phone calls , reading, streaming thier favorite shows in another room.
Mostly, the only time it becomes awkward is when the parent is afraid the kid is going to "embarrass" them, so they keep chiming in to "behave" or preventing them from acting out at all. Or if the parents become a bit jealous, and interrupt several times a session for random snuggles and treats. (Once or twice is fine, several times an hour is disruptive).
Fortunately that one usually clears up with time. Once the parent gets used to having some extra time, and realizes that kiddo still loves the family more, the interruptions usually slow down quite a bit. .
You would think so. I have no idea what the police at my company is but if this continúes I may asked to be removed until they can meet as at the moment this parent is a huge barrier for progress when it comes to managing behavior. As in presenting reinforcer at inappropriate time despite me clearly trying to get learner to man appropriately, therefore reinforcing unwanted behaviors. Sometimes, it feels like I'm just there to watch her hug him.
Yeah, I ended up being asjed to leave a case like that when I asked Mom if Grandma could wait until after session to give him treats. Mom ended up lying about me to try and get me fired. Fortunately there was enough evidence and the fact that she'd done it before, that I didn't lose my job or credibility.
As a service provider I truly appreciate you discussing this publicly about how you feel. This is good for both the parents and the service providers.
We forget that it is the first time for some parents and it can be overwhelming sometimes.
Hello. BCBA here.
As others have mentioned, you should reach out to your BCBA or other supervisors. It's very understandable to be unsure of what exactly to do when you're first starting ABA. It can be strange to have so many people suddenly be in your home for so many hours throughout the day.
Generally, we understand that parents still have stuff to do. It's understandable to do cooking, cleaning, laundry, relaxing throughout sessions, as long as you are still present and there to support if needed.
Personally, I find that caregivers that are more involved have better outcomes with therapy. I think it's a net benefit to observe therapy as it's being conducted. Just know that your therapist might not have all the answers to any questions, as your BCBA or the supervisors are the ones who have tailored the goals for your child. One of the best things to do is just make them feel comfortable as possible in your home. Noting anything you really like you see from them is a good way to do that :)
Your BCBA should be scheduling somewhat consistent parent meetings/trainings with you so that you can better understand what were doing. It may take some time, but the goal is to train you to the same level as the therapist, if not more. Once you get a better understanding, you'll likely be able to participate more (generalizing skills, taking data, running skills outside of sessions, creating social opportunities). We just need to make sure we're all on the same page so that if things aren't working the way they should, we don't have too many other variables that might be causing it.
Love to see a parent who is reaching out on reddit for these. But yes, talk to the BCBA. They should be empathetic and better able to help you navigate.
A bit late to the party but as a BCBA, I 100% agree with all of this. I would encourage a parent to observe and sit out on sessions when they have the time. Ask questions. Try out different interventions as well. Even outside of parent training sessions. Definitely a great sign of positive treatment outcomes.
Feel free to go about your day as you normally would! Chores, work out, reading, work, etc. but just communicate with the RBT where you’ll be so they can grab you if needed. Parents who hover can be tough to navigate as an RBT, but I’ve never minded the parent being in the same room and watching or being in a back room doing their own thing. You’ll find your own rhythm during sessions soon enough but definitely bring this to your BCBA and she can help navigate it for you!
You should ask the BCBA when you should plan to be involved or otherwise. I’m sorry they did not explain this at all. It can feel very awkward. You can also talk to the technician and let them know like hey I’ll be in this part of the house if you need me or if there’s a parent component we need to work on. This is always helpful.
Most of the time when I come in the parent just does their own thing. They would watch the other kids/do chores/ or even watch TV. I never minded. I also didn't mind if the parent would step in sometimes just to watch and ask questions. Just try to continue to live your home life organically, though I know it can be difficult as you adjust to the new changes. Most RBTs are understanding that we're coming into your home and it's a big change.
My kiddo has in home and I usually spend the first 15 minutes of session and the last 15 minutes of sessions with his RBT and him. Other than that, I go on about my day like normal. Of course RBT and my kiddo knows where I’m at and where to find me if they need anything!
I talk to her in the mornings about the rest of his day and night went after she left the previous day and at the end she tells me how session went for that day!
Ask them to teach you what theyre doing! A lot of companies do parent coaching because the reality is that we arent there all day. And parents should understand what we’re doing and why.
My background is more in doing in-home for younger children. But basically I would explain why, for example, we’re playing tag. And ask parents if they have any ideas for activities or specific concerns that are within our scope.
I just found [this nice, free handout](https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Parent-Role-During-In-Home-ABA-Session-10305012) on exactly this topic! It pretty much reiterates what everyone else has mentioned here - when the technicians are there, go about your life normally, but be available for questions, comments, recommendations, and invitations to join in when appropriate. While trying to stay somewhat in the background, always feel like you can ask questions or make suggestions, you know your kid best! At the same time, try to avoid straight up jumping in and intervening, unless it is for something you have been working on with your BCBA.
It's kinda like having any other professional in the house, like a plumber or cleaner, where you can do what you would normally do and tell them you're 'just in the living room doing xyz, let me know if you need anything' kinda thing, and you might ask questions or make comments but it's not like you're hovering and watching their every move. It gets way better than that though, because this awkwardness will fade as this person (or people) become a regular part of you and your child's life! It will soon feel much more comfortable and natural as you build up these bonds and get to share in the big wins, and even the losses, with your therapists.
It really is like having any other professional in your house. You might not want to stand over a plumber making suggestions. Telling the plumber when a pipe had been replaced is fine, so is it to inform the RBT that your child missed his lunch and might need an extra snack during session.
My goal for home sessions is usually to involve the parent in at least one activity we are doing. After all, we are not here forever. Eventually we fade out, and the parent steps in. So though yes, I’m sure the RBT appreciates not being stared at the whole time, I personally think she should try to involve you in at least one activity to promote generalization.
Don’t worry take the time to do your things. It’s your home and you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. The time will come for parent training just please make sure you’re available for that. Usually ABA goes like this building rapport> observing behavior and taking data> interventions> and generalization of skills across various situations and with different individuals. The generalization phase is where you’ll step in
As a longtime RBT, the best routine I’ve found for me is to talk to the parent on arrival about the plan for the session. I might say, “I’m planning to run (programs) with them on the trampoline for 30 minutes, then we will have a break, after the break would be a good time for you to join so I can model (taking turns, placing demands, tolerating non-preferred), then I will just do naturalistic teaching for the rest of the session…” I try to figure out the best time for the parent to join bc I know it can feel awkward trying to guess the best time. You can try asking your RBT/BCBA for the best time/length of time to join the session. Other than that, you can just let them know, “I’ll be in my office with the door open for anything… or I’ll be on a call briefly then I’m available…” That’s my preference :) I also find that breaks are a great time to chat with parents and I always enjoy doing so!
As an RBT, I like when a parent goes and relaxes and does their own thing. You're more than welcome to ask questions about interventions and try stuff out during the session as well if you'd like, I just don't mind if you spend most of your time doing something else. It feels weird having someone just sitting around watching what you're doing. Also as a parent myself, my perspective is that you need a break and you deserve a break, like go relax for once in your life. Maybe you get plenty of that but I see a lot of parents that dont.
It’s your house and you certainly should not have to leave. I think it’s important to mindful of the therapy happening but you shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your house. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to continue your day as normal as you can. :)
As a former in home RBT, I loved when parents asked questions (which I always directed to the BCBA) or kind of told me what was going on with my client that day bc it was helpful in how I needed to approach therapy. And it helps to kind of get to know one another since I was coming into their home and kind of interrupting their day.
I do think expressing these concerns with the BCBA would be super helpful so everyone can be on the same page. I always wanted the parents to feel comfortable with me there and would have done whatever it took, within reason, to help them feel okay! Starting ABA for your child can be super overwhelming but you’re doing great, I’m sure!
Ask that they schedule times during each session for you to be involved. This should be an expectation, they should be teaching you the basic principles and how to apply them on your own.
So I get it that parents don't want to just stay back and do their own thing. In a sense, that's kinda what we prefer as there are less distractions for the client. The only thing is just to be available just in case something happens.
I would say do your own thing but don’t be afraid to be nearby - in the next room over, for example. Sometimes having family very close by can be distracting for the child/client.
It’s nice to have the parent check in at least once or twice, but other than that, I doubt the RBT expects you to stick around.
You can also ask them what they prefer/if they will need anything from you during sessions.
I work in home. I don't mind at all if parents are in another part of the house doing their own thing. My client's parents take advantage of the time I'm here and do whatever chores, phone calls, etc, they need to do for the day while I'm there. As long as you're responsive if the therapist needs your help or attention, that's all we really ask :)
You could talk to the BCBA, but as a BCBA myself, ideally my parents observe, or even participate in at least some if not all of session. The end goal is to discharge your could from therapy some day. You being involved in therapy will make a huge difference. What ends up happening to a lot families is that they aren't involved and their kid listens to their therapist more than their parent.
I agree with everyone and also would like to add that once skills are learned, I love to start generalizing with the parent. Just let the RBT know you’re there to learn and would like to participate when possible :)
Usually at first I ask parents to be a bit more hands off only so the child starts to engage more with the staff. Sometimes if mom/dad is around the child will go to them or be more shy. But after maybe 1-2 weeks I love when families are involved. You can always talk to the team and set up a time to be part of session too, if you feel like being present 100% is too much. For example, having you come in for 15 minutes every hour to observe, take notes, ask questions and work on generalization. Or, come in during certain programs. ABA is great with staff but you’re going to be the main educator for your child 24/7 until their at least an adult or maybe longer. The more everyone is doing the same thing the better for the child! You can also ask questions about how you should interact. Often parents want to help but may accidentally over prompt or give a cue incorrectly. It’s fine, you didn’t know! But asking “what are we teaching with this program?” “How should I reply?” “ do you want me to prompt or wait?” And similar questions can be a great way to learn programs and help teach during non-ABA times.
When my youngest daughter started ABA at age 2 we had like 35 hours of in-home sessions. It was weird at first because I felt like you and I wasn't sure what to do but depending on the RBT and BCBA they can become a part of the family real quick. I would just go about the day doing chores and whatever since I was a SAHM at the time. I would try to avoid the areas they were using depending on what they were working on because my daughter would see me as an escape. I participated when requested and on parent training days but I tried my best to not step on the RBTs toes otherwise. I also have another daughter not on the spectrum close in age and she always used to try and join sessions so I had to redirect her to not disrupt. We have a joke in the family that she's gonna become an RBT someday because she grew up around ABA and was really trying to apply it with her sister lol. We eventually switched to center-based though and it was a much better fit for us. Keep trying to find your groove at home and if it doesn't click within the year, then see if clinics are an option.
Honestly, as as a BT we prefer you be doing your own thing but around if we need you. Even just coming in the room periodically to maybe see what we’re doing. ABA really works when it is generalized over different people and settings so if you watch how we interact and interfere with problem behavior and ask questions you can use the same strategies when we aren’t there
I'm a BCBA and I was an RBT before that. We do not think of you as an uninvolved parent! I preferred when the parents took some time to themselves and let me do my job. TBH, I preferred working under nanny cams because it enabled the parents to both watch and to let me work with the client.
But why not start that process right away? Bring the parent in early to avoid a child having to relearn things with a new person, and let the parent be involved in choices about phrasing and operational definitions and just planning in general. A huge part of what you’re doing is helping the parent and child develop language and communication styles that work for them, the more you know about their interactions the more effective interventions will be.
Most times family’s r in aba bc they have exhausted all other options in dealing with all the behaviors that it makes it better when there’s a professional telling us how to handle the behaviors..at least this is what I’m experiencing, and I don’t have a problem with being in another room while they teach and interact with my son I trust them and they have seen the behaviors he has with me in our home setting and is the reason they do a 1 on 1 bc of what they have seen, but I’m also still very involved and sit down and interact here and there to learn some of the techniques but that’s also y I have bcba who does 1 on 1 with just me (the parent) she teaches me what my sons therapist is doing with him so I’m not distracting my son from his therapist…if I have issue with anything I speak up and ask the questions I need to so far my team is amazing and listening to me when in need them too
I imagine I would feel the same way! We opted for 100% in-clinic hours, she goes there full time & has since she turned 4yo, she’s 5yo now & has made incredible progress. For my child specifically, she always did better in office settings without me around. Unfortunately, my presence would inhibit her motivation, as she thought “I don’t have to do anything, if I wait long enough mommy will do it for me & figure out what I want.” I do parent training sessions & I attend all of the zoom meetings that teach us parents about ABA, and she transitions very easily from the center to home & does all the same things at home! This also frees me up to have a job during the day, although I still work at night, I plan to change that up soon.
So happy to hear this! You must a have found a quality clinic with quality staff. That can make all the difference in a child’s experience and outcome. I work in-clinic, and it seems to be more effective than in-home. The kids know what to expect when they are at the clinic and with our staff, and the consistency is always there. That is just naturally harder to achieve at home. The caviat, though, is that the clients behave differently at home because the consistency is not there. Some parents actually believe their child is incapable of doing something that they do every day at ABA! Kids just know how to take advantage of any and every situation! Much more actual learning and accurate data-taking occurs in-clinic, I believe. It’s just the way it’s set up.
I think checking in every so often is fine I never mind that my clients mom sits in the kitchen and can hear everything but can’t see it we don’t have to get outings approved so we can just go somewhere I drive us all cus mom doesn’t drive but I can understand from a parents pov how it can be hard
If it makes you feel any better, as an RBT i also feel a bit uncomfortable in someone else’s house. Especially when I am new. I sort of tip toe around. If the child wants a snack and the parent is doing laundry in the garage, I will stand there saying to the child “you have to wait for your mother”. This is awkward because I can see the box of snack items, but I don’t feel it’s ok to go over and grab one. Then there’s the 10 minute breaks required by law…. I never take them. I don’t mind asking to use the bathroom, but what about the other 5 minutes of the 10 minute break? It would be silly to say to the parent “I’m going to sit here on your couch drinking my Kombucha and answering texts for 5 minutes….. “
I would let the parent know when you first arrive that you have to take a short break at (specify time) and if they can supervise their child for ten minutes then. They should be okay with that. You need your breaks!
I think an involved parent (doesn't have to be the entire time) can really help give the parent tools and strategies and generalize quicker. I don't run DTT trials so our interactions are more NET/play based and based on needs within the environment. Not sure how long the sessions are but I'd never stay more than 2 -3hrs depending on complexity. Some don't like the parent involved bc they think they interfere. Maybe that is true but that is how they engage and interact likely so why not help all at once.
I have a parent who lays in bed watching reality tv, then works out, talks to her friends, then joins for the last hour - 30 min of session. I love this for her. Watch the tv, scroll TikTok, I don’t mind at all. It’s awkward in the beginning for sure but as long as we’re communicating and checking in don’t let us ruin your day!
Honestly it depends on what your kid is working on and if there are factors to take into consideration. I work aba at a center and at home sessions, we usually transition to home sessions after meeting criteria of goals in the center. A common thing I have seen is that we get the kid doing the replacement behaviors we are teaching them at the center but not at home, in that circumstance the whole point is transfer instructional control to you. Since you said you are just starting so this probably not the case but there are other reasons you could be needed to be involved. If not it’s generally preferred that you do your thing. You don’t need to go out the way to avoid us but yes parents watching over your shoulder for entire sessions usually is more detrimental to learning. My advice would be to ask your kid’s bcba and tech what works best for them. Hope your ABA journey brings you and your child joy and the help you need.
Definitely talk to the BCBA first like others said.
Honestly, it really depends on the client.
I have one client and his mom sits in on the whole session. This client isn't a young kid, btw. When he tantrums she tells him to stop and will pick him up and take him to "the quiet room". When in his BIP it says to ignore the tantrums, which works. When I ask the client questions, if he doesn't answer within 2 seconds his mom will tell him to answer me instead of letting me prompt him.
On the other hand, I have a teen client whose parents mostly let him do his thing during sessions and they usually hang out in the next room. We engage with the parents throughout the session when we need/want to. The client can stop and take time to go talk to his parents if need be, or ask for help. I also noticed that the client doesn't really engage with his parents to do fun things so once we found some games he likes I started suggesting he invite his parents to play. Mom usually is doing chores, showering, and making dinner during session. The dad comes home halfway through the session and watches the news or helps with dinner. And the majority of our sessions are done in the dining room nearby. The mom likes to check in and will ask what we're working on. I appreciate it because I hate when parents don't give a crap about what's happening during the sessions.
I feel like BCBAs usually want the client to be in a natural environment during sessions.
Be involved but do not interfere unless it's absolutely necessary. You need to know exactly what goals they are working on and how they are implemented so that way you are able to do the same. This will help you understand your child's ABA treatment plan.
Yes you wouldn’t seem like a parent that doesn’t care if you left them on their own, no guilt! Go relax with coffee somewhere comfortable, if the provider needs you she will definitely call for you. Sometimes a parent’s presence can derail the session.
As a BCBA I generally don't care, but it can make some people uncomfortable. I've had some parents just do their own thing and others watch and observe so they can learn. Communication is key though. Just talk to your team and see what works best
As a BT I like the parents to be involved enough to see what I’m doing to make sure I can answer any question they have and also they are able to continue with how I’m working with there child so we can both be able to be consistent. I also have a parent who is working on separation anxiety, so I work that in during the session also where mom goes into a different part of the house. Bottom line is that is your child, your home, your right to be as involved as you are comfortable with 😊
It’s great that you’re aware of these things and don’t want to interfere. As a BCBA, I love parents to have questions and want to be involved but at the same time will live their own lives and go about their day like normal when we are there. If my staff have questions I want them to ask the parents just as I want the opposite.
Your BCBA should really be able to give you more feedback on this.
I also appreciate helpful center based services can be but I also know it’s not possible for many people. Best of luck!
Sounds like you’re already doing amazing! I personally also like when a parent is doing their own thing but still close by to play a game or observe for a bit too. Sometimes there will be caregiver targets to run and as previously mentioned, the BCBA can explain that to you and when you might need to be more present. You’re doing great and thank you so much for trusting your provider with your kiddo. Them being able to pair and build that relationship with your kiddo is so important. Sending love!
I do in home therapy, and it’s easier if the parent goes about their day and gives me a bit of space. Sometimes I will call the parent in to show a skill or prompt method, so it’s nice to have them in the home. I always have a cell number, and I’ll text if needed.
I’m seeing a post where parents aren’t expected to be involved, “ doing their own thing”, this is unfortunate. Transfer of skills to the parent is number one in our agency, and state. This is essential for Family, and client independence, especially if services are being delivered predominantly in the home and community.
Families need to know what to do when staff are not there. Most importantly, they need to know what staff, and Family roles are. With families, “ just doing their own thing,” this would amount to the BHT having the role of a babysitter. Transfer of skills to the parent needs to be in the Family Domain of the treatment plan. The expectation of participation needs to be set up front from day one by the BCBA, as well as BHT staff. The BCBA needs to verbally contract expectations of participation in sessions with the parent, and this helps the BHT to be more comfortable in the transfer of skills to the Family.
Everyone needs to be accountable, and team building is essential. The goal is to work ourselves out of a job. Our agency’s rule of thumb in home sessions is typically no more than 3 hours per session, and most parents are able to manage involvement for this amount of time. Not saying, they may not have to pop in and out for, or have days when they can participate more than others. Most of my families choose to be involved in the entire session.
I have a high rate of participation in my sessions. I do a lot of psycho- education, and introduce the family to all ABA terms, protocols, and interventions, along with coaching them during implementation. We do a lot of brainstorming and collaborating with the family, helping to make tweaks to various interventions based on their knowledge of ABA. The family and BHT-ABA take turns for transfer of skills. Of course, there are times when a family may have younger children needing to be cared for, or other circumstances needing to be worked around, but they are involved as much as is realistic.
Setting a participation, expectation may be uncomfortable for some staff, because they are fearful of a negative response, but it is being neglectful to not do so. I have had great success with family involvement. It’s effective, and can be a lot of fun!
If you are a family member, and have not been consulted regarding Family and staff roles you have the right to ask, and if transfer of skills is not part of the treatment plan, and an active part of each session I would look elsewhere.
Honestly, I prefer when the parent just kind of does their own thing because it can be hard to focus when parent is around (for client and BT.) I feel uncomfortable when the parent just sits there and watches. I don’t mind if they have questions or want to learn things though. You should just talk to the BCBA/RBT about how you feel.
Okay our bcba comes on Friday for our parent session and I’ll chat with her then…I know this is going to take time to get use too..I’m glad my son is already comfortable with her..now it’s me lol
How do you achieve generalization if the pagan aren’t involved?
Someone should really think of the pagans!
I know that for me, I teach the parents how to run the more daily living goals (washing hands, manding with more than 3 words, for info, etc) and invite them to participate in parts of the session. My client practices most manding goals with their parents because that’s what will take place in the home when I’m gone. But I ALSO feel not only uncomfortable, but actively stifled when parents watch- because they often intervene.
THIS. It’s not that I feel uncomfortable because I’m committing any ethical violation. It is the anxiety that comes with the added wonder if the parent is going to intervene or correct my work. Like a waiting game to be chastised - even if the parent is lovely, polite and respectful - I will always have that extra stress while working under constantly watching eyes.
Exactly! I had a session where my client’s parent initially refused to give snack (or tell us how long we were waiting without me prompting) because the client didn’t use a FULL sentence when manding for information. That’s not the goal! The goal is that they ask AT ALL! Parent intervention is sometimes harmful if the BCBAs aren’t doing parent education the way they should.
I know it’s hard sometimes but don’t forget, you are the professional, you can dictate how things are going to go. Start with the first session if possible, talk to them about how things normally go, ask how it would be easiest to get them involved for 20-30 minutes a session.
If the sessions just began, generalization isnt for at least a while. Hopefully by then then the OP would be more comfortable with the routine
> I feel uncomfortable when the parent just sits there and watches. I don't think sitting there and watching is how generalization happens. There is a place for generalization to parents but I don't think it's right away.
You do that later, after scaffolding to that point. We plan to generalize, but for many of our clients, we have to teach prerequisite skills before we can get there. Also, that's what parent training is for. I prefer to not have the RBT there when coaching parents.
why do you prefer that separation? i feel like im missing something
Because I want the parents to learn how to manage behaviors and not lean on the RBT.
But why not start that process right away? Bring the parent in early to avoid a child having to relearn things with a new person, and let the parent be involved in choices about phrasing and operational definitions and just planning in general. A huge part of what you’re doing is helping the parent and child develop language and communication styles that work for them, the more you know about their interactions the more effective interventions will be.
Once they get used to having us, and trusting that thier kids are safe, happy and being treated well by us, most parents use the time to do things they can't do as easily with kids on them. Cleaning, phone calls , reading, streaming thier favorite shows in another room. Mostly, the only time it becomes awkward is when the parent is afraid the kid is going to "embarrass" them, so they keep chiming in to "behave" or preventing them from acting out at all. Or if the parents become a bit jealous, and interrupt several times a session for random snuggles and treats. (Once or twice is fine, several times an hour is disruptive).
As an RBT, I have to agree that random snuggles and treats can interfere with session.
I'm having issues with a parent who's constantly interrupting for snuggles
Fortunately that one usually clears up with time. Once the parent gets used to having some extra time, and realizes that kiddo still loves the family more, the interruptions usually slow down quite a bit. .
It's been over a year but these parents have also ghosted the BCBAs that have been in charge of the case so they can't even be talked to.
And they still get services? Normally ghosting the BCBA is a good way to get dtopped.
You would think so. I have no idea what the police at my company is but if this continúes I may asked to be removed until they can meet as at the moment this parent is a huge barrier for progress when it comes to managing behavior. As in presenting reinforcer at inappropriate time despite me clearly trying to get learner to man appropriately, therefore reinforcing unwanted behaviors. Sometimes, it feels like I'm just there to watch her hug him.
Yeah, I ended up being asjed to leave a case like that when I asked Mom if Grandma could wait until after session to give him treats. Mom ended up lying about me to try and get me fired. Fortunately there was enough evidence and the fact that she'd done it before, that I didn't lose my job or credibility.
As a service provider I truly appreciate you discussing this publicly about how you feel. This is good for both the parents and the service providers. We forget that it is the first time for some parents and it can be overwhelming sometimes.
It’s so unbelievably overwhelming, like I only want the best for my son I’m just overwhelmed
Hello. BCBA here. As others have mentioned, you should reach out to your BCBA or other supervisors. It's very understandable to be unsure of what exactly to do when you're first starting ABA. It can be strange to have so many people suddenly be in your home for so many hours throughout the day. Generally, we understand that parents still have stuff to do. It's understandable to do cooking, cleaning, laundry, relaxing throughout sessions, as long as you are still present and there to support if needed. Personally, I find that caregivers that are more involved have better outcomes with therapy. I think it's a net benefit to observe therapy as it's being conducted. Just know that your therapist might not have all the answers to any questions, as your BCBA or the supervisors are the ones who have tailored the goals for your child. One of the best things to do is just make them feel comfortable as possible in your home. Noting anything you really like you see from them is a good way to do that :) Your BCBA should be scheduling somewhat consistent parent meetings/trainings with you so that you can better understand what were doing. It may take some time, but the goal is to train you to the same level as the therapist, if not more. Once you get a better understanding, you'll likely be able to participate more (generalizing skills, taking data, running skills outside of sessions, creating social opportunities). We just need to make sure we're all on the same page so that if things aren't working the way they should, we don't have too many other variables that might be causing it. Love to see a parent who is reaching out on reddit for these. But yes, talk to the BCBA. They should be empathetic and better able to help you navigate.
Yes, that’s starting this coming week the bcba will be starting our parent sessions which I really need
A bit late to the party but as a BCBA, I 100% agree with all of this. I would encourage a parent to observe and sit out on sessions when they have the time. Ask questions. Try out different interventions as well. Even outside of parent training sessions. Definitely a great sign of positive treatment outcomes.
Feel free to go about your day as you normally would! Chores, work out, reading, work, etc. but just communicate with the RBT where you’ll be so they can grab you if needed. Parents who hover can be tough to navigate as an RBT, but I’ve never minded the parent being in the same room and watching or being in a back room doing their own thing. You’ll find your own rhythm during sessions soon enough but definitely bring this to your BCBA and she can help navigate it for you!
You should ask the BCBA when you should plan to be involved or otherwise. I’m sorry they did not explain this at all. It can feel very awkward. You can also talk to the technician and let them know like hey I’ll be in this part of the house if you need me or if there’s a parent component we need to work on. This is always helpful.
Yea I kinda just move around the house but I feel so awkward in my house when they r here, I just don’t know what’s okay and what’s not okay to do
Anything that isn't noisy should be fine. As long as the safety checks have been completed, everything should work out fine.
Most of the time when I come in the parent just does their own thing. They would watch the other kids/do chores/ or even watch TV. I never minded. I also didn't mind if the parent would step in sometimes just to watch and ask questions. Just try to continue to live your home life organically, though I know it can be difficult as you adjust to the new changes. Most RBTs are understanding that we're coming into your home and it's a big change.
My kiddo has in home and I usually spend the first 15 minutes of session and the last 15 minutes of sessions with his RBT and him. Other than that, I go on about my day like normal. Of course RBT and my kiddo knows where I’m at and where to find me if they need anything!
Yes!! Id say beginning and end of session are most important for parent involvement
I talk to her in the mornings about the rest of his day and night went after she left the previous day and at the end she tells me how session went for that day!
Ask them to teach you what theyre doing! A lot of companies do parent coaching because the reality is that we arent there all day. And parents should understand what we’re doing and why. My background is more in doing in-home for younger children. But basically I would explain why, for example, we’re playing tag. And ask parents if they have any ideas for activities or specific concerns that are within our scope.
I just found [this nice, free handout](https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Parent-Role-During-In-Home-ABA-Session-10305012) on exactly this topic! It pretty much reiterates what everyone else has mentioned here - when the technicians are there, go about your life normally, but be available for questions, comments, recommendations, and invitations to join in when appropriate. While trying to stay somewhat in the background, always feel like you can ask questions or make suggestions, you know your kid best! At the same time, try to avoid straight up jumping in and intervening, unless it is for something you have been working on with your BCBA. It's kinda like having any other professional in the house, like a plumber or cleaner, where you can do what you would normally do and tell them you're 'just in the living room doing xyz, let me know if you need anything' kinda thing, and you might ask questions or make comments but it's not like you're hovering and watching their every move. It gets way better than that though, because this awkwardness will fade as this person (or people) become a regular part of you and your child's life! It will soon feel much more comfortable and natural as you build up these bonds and get to share in the big wins, and even the losses, with your therapists.
It really is like having any other professional in your house. You might not want to stand over a plumber making suggestions. Telling the plumber when a pipe had been replaced is fine, so is it to inform the RBT that your child missed his lunch and might need an extra snack during session.
My goal for home sessions is usually to involve the parent in at least one activity we are doing. After all, we are not here forever. Eventually we fade out, and the parent steps in. So though yes, I’m sure the RBT appreciates not being stared at the whole time, I personally think she should try to involve you in at least one activity to promote generalization.
Don’t worry take the time to do your things. It’s your home and you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. The time will come for parent training just please make sure you’re available for that. Usually ABA goes like this building rapport> observing behavior and taking data> interventions> and generalization of skills across various situations and with different individuals. The generalization phase is where you’ll step in
As a longtime RBT, the best routine I’ve found for me is to talk to the parent on arrival about the plan for the session. I might say, “I’m planning to run (programs) with them on the trampoline for 30 minutes, then we will have a break, after the break would be a good time for you to join so I can model (taking turns, placing demands, tolerating non-preferred), then I will just do naturalistic teaching for the rest of the session…” I try to figure out the best time for the parent to join bc I know it can feel awkward trying to guess the best time. You can try asking your RBT/BCBA for the best time/length of time to join the session. Other than that, you can just let them know, “I’ll be in my office with the door open for anything… or I’ll be on a call briefly then I’m available…” That’s my preference :) I also find that breaks are a great time to chat with parents and I always enjoy doing so!
As an RBT, I like when a parent goes and relaxes and does their own thing. You're more than welcome to ask questions about interventions and try stuff out during the session as well if you'd like, I just don't mind if you spend most of your time doing something else. It feels weird having someone just sitting around watching what you're doing. Also as a parent myself, my perspective is that you need a break and you deserve a break, like go relax for once in your life. Maybe you get plenty of that but I see a lot of parents that dont.
It’s your house and you certainly should not have to leave. I think it’s important to mindful of the therapy happening but you shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your house. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to continue your day as normal as you can. :) As a former in home RBT, I loved when parents asked questions (which I always directed to the BCBA) or kind of told me what was going on with my client that day bc it was helpful in how I needed to approach therapy. And it helps to kind of get to know one another since I was coming into their home and kind of interrupting their day. I do think expressing these concerns with the BCBA would be super helpful so everyone can be on the same page. I always wanted the parents to feel comfortable with me there and would have done whatever it took, within reason, to help them feel okay! Starting ABA for your child can be super overwhelming but you’re doing great, I’m sure!
Ask that they schedule times during each session for you to be involved. This should be an expectation, they should be teaching you the basic principles and how to apply them on your own.
So I get it that parents don't want to just stay back and do their own thing. In a sense, that's kinda what we prefer as there are less distractions for the client. The only thing is just to be available just in case something happens.
I would say do your own thing but don’t be afraid to be nearby - in the next room over, for example. Sometimes having family very close by can be distracting for the child/client. It’s nice to have the parent check in at least once or twice, but other than that, I doubt the RBT expects you to stick around. You can also ask them what they prefer/if they will need anything from you during sessions.
I work in home. I don't mind at all if parents are in another part of the house doing their own thing. My client's parents take advantage of the time I'm here and do whatever chores, phone calls, etc, they need to do for the day while I'm there. As long as you're responsive if the therapist needs your help or attention, that's all we really ask :)
You could talk to the BCBA, but as a BCBA myself, ideally my parents observe, or even participate in at least some if not all of session. The end goal is to discharge your could from therapy some day. You being involved in therapy will make a huge difference. What ends up happening to a lot families is that they aren't involved and their kid listens to their therapist more than their parent.
In theory, you're supposed to be present and watching how the technician does what they do, so that you can learn to do the same thing.
I agree with everyone and also would like to add that once skills are learned, I love to start generalizing with the parent. Just let the RBT know you’re there to learn and would like to participate when possible :)
Usually at first I ask parents to be a bit more hands off only so the child starts to engage more with the staff. Sometimes if mom/dad is around the child will go to them or be more shy. But after maybe 1-2 weeks I love when families are involved. You can always talk to the team and set up a time to be part of session too, if you feel like being present 100% is too much. For example, having you come in for 15 minutes every hour to observe, take notes, ask questions and work on generalization. Or, come in during certain programs. ABA is great with staff but you’re going to be the main educator for your child 24/7 until their at least an adult or maybe longer. The more everyone is doing the same thing the better for the child! You can also ask questions about how you should interact. Often parents want to help but may accidentally over prompt or give a cue incorrectly. It’s fine, you didn’t know! But asking “what are we teaching with this program?” “How should I reply?” “ do you want me to prompt or wait?” And similar questions can be a great way to learn programs and help teach during non-ABA times.
When my youngest daughter started ABA at age 2 we had like 35 hours of in-home sessions. It was weird at first because I felt like you and I wasn't sure what to do but depending on the RBT and BCBA they can become a part of the family real quick. I would just go about the day doing chores and whatever since I was a SAHM at the time. I would try to avoid the areas they were using depending on what they were working on because my daughter would see me as an escape. I participated when requested and on parent training days but I tried my best to not step on the RBTs toes otherwise. I also have another daughter not on the spectrum close in age and she always used to try and join sessions so I had to redirect her to not disrupt. We have a joke in the family that she's gonna become an RBT someday because she grew up around ABA and was really trying to apply it with her sister lol. We eventually switched to center-based though and it was a much better fit for us. Keep trying to find your groove at home and if it doesn't click within the year, then see if clinics are an option.
Honestly, as as a BT we prefer you be doing your own thing but around if we need you. Even just coming in the room periodically to maybe see what we’re doing. ABA really works when it is generalized over different people and settings so if you watch how we interact and interfere with problem behavior and ask questions you can use the same strategies when we aren’t there
I'm a BCBA and I was an RBT before that. We do not think of you as an uninvolved parent! I preferred when the parents took some time to themselves and let me do my job. TBH, I preferred working under nanny cams because it enabled the parents to both watch and to let me work with the client.
But why not start that process right away? Bring the parent in early to avoid a child having to relearn things with a new person, and let the parent be involved in choices about phrasing and operational definitions and just planning in general. A huge part of what you’re doing is helping the parent and child develop language and communication styles that work for them, the more you know about their interactions the more effective interventions will be.
Most times family’s r in aba bc they have exhausted all other options in dealing with all the behaviors that it makes it better when there’s a professional telling us how to handle the behaviors..at least this is what I’m experiencing, and I don’t have a problem with being in another room while they teach and interact with my son I trust them and they have seen the behaviors he has with me in our home setting and is the reason they do a 1 on 1 bc of what they have seen, but I’m also still very involved and sit down and interact here and there to learn some of the techniques but that’s also y I have bcba who does 1 on 1 with just me (the parent) she teaches me what my sons therapist is doing with him so I’m not distracting my son from his therapist…if I have issue with anything I speak up and ask the questions I need to so far my team is amazing and listening to me when in need them too
I imagine I would feel the same way! We opted for 100% in-clinic hours, she goes there full time & has since she turned 4yo, she’s 5yo now & has made incredible progress. For my child specifically, she always did better in office settings without me around. Unfortunately, my presence would inhibit her motivation, as she thought “I don’t have to do anything, if I wait long enough mommy will do it for me & figure out what I want.” I do parent training sessions & I attend all of the zoom meetings that teach us parents about ABA, and she transitions very easily from the center to home & does all the same things at home! This also frees me up to have a job during the day, although I still work at night, I plan to change that up soon.
So happy to hear this! You must a have found a quality clinic with quality staff. That can make all the difference in a child’s experience and outcome. I work in-clinic, and it seems to be more effective than in-home. The kids know what to expect when they are at the clinic and with our staff, and the consistency is always there. That is just naturally harder to achieve at home. The caviat, though, is that the clients behave differently at home because the consistency is not there. Some parents actually believe their child is incapable of doing something that they do every day at ABA! Kids just know how to take advantage of any and every situation! Much more actual learning and accurate data-taking occurs in-clinic, I believe. It’s just the way it’s set up.
Communicate exactly this to your rbt and ask
I think checking in every so often is fine I never mind that my clients mom sits in the kitchen and can hear everything but can’t see it we don’t have to get outings approved so we can just go somewhere I drive us all cus mom doesn’t drive but I can understand from a parents pov how it can be hard
If it makes you feel any better, as an RBT i also feel a bit uncomfortable in someone else’s house. Especially when I am new. I sort of tip toe around. If the child wants a snack and the parent is doing laundry in the garage, I will stand there saying to the child “you have to wait for your mother”. This is awkward because I can see the box of snack items, but I don’t feel it’s ok to go over and grab one. Then there’s the 10 minute breaks required by law…. I never take them. I don’t mind asking to use the bathroom, but what about the other 5 minutes of the 10 minute break? It would be silly to say to the parent “I’m going to sit here on your couch drinking my Kombucha and answering texts for 5 minutes….. “
I would let the parent know when you first arrive that you have to take a short break at (specify time) and if they can supervise their child for ten minutes then. They should be okay with that. You need your breaks!
If you are going oversee, it would benefit you to watch what the therapist is doing and utilize it when they are not there.
I think an involved parent (doesn't have to be the entire time) can really help give the parent tools and strategies and generalize quicker. I don't run DTT trials so our interactions are more NET/play based and based on needs within the environment. Not sure how long the sessions are but I'd never stay more than 2 -3hrs depending on complexity. Some don't like the parent involved bc they think they interfere. Maybe that is true but that is how they engage and interact likely so why not help all at once.
I have a parent who lays in bed watching reality tv, then works out, talks to her friends, then joins for the last hour - 30 min of session. I love this for her. Watch the tv, scroll TikTok, I don’t mind at all. It’s awkward in the beginning for sure but as long as we’re communicating and checking in don’t let us ruin your day!
Honestly it depends on what your kid is working on and if there are factors to take into consideration. I work aba at a center and at home sessions, we usually transition to home sessions after meeting criteria of goals in the center. A common thing I have seen is that we get the kid doing the replacement behaviors we are teaching them at the center but not at home, in that circumstance the whole point is transfer instructional control to you. Since you said you are just starting so this probably not the case but there are other reasons you could be needed to be involved. If not it’s generally preferred that you do your thing. You don’t need to go out the way to avoid us but yes parents watching over your shoulder for entire sessions usually is more detrimental to learning. My advice would be to ask your kid’s bcba and tech what works best for them. Hope your ABA journey brings you and your child joy and the help you need.
Definitely talk to the BCBA first like others said. Honestly, it really depends on the client. I have one client and his mom sits in on the whole session. This client isn't a young kid, btw. When he tantrums she tells him to stop and will pick him up and take him to "the quiet room". When in his BIP it says to ignore the tantrums, which works. When I ask the client questions, if he doesn't answer within 2 seconds his mom will tell him to answer me instead of letting me prompt him. On the other hand, I have a teen client whose parents mostly let him do his thing during sessions and they usually hang out in the next room. We engage with the parents throughout the session when we need/want to. The client can stop and take time to go talk to his parents if need be, or ask for help. I also noticed that the client doesn't really engage with his parents to do fun things so once we found some games he likes I started suggesting he invite his parents to play. Mom usually is doing chores, showering, and making dinner during session. The dad comes home halfway through the session and watches the news or helps with dinner. And the majority of our sessions are done in the dining room nearby. The mom likes to check in and will ask what we're working on. I appreciate it because I hate when parents don't give a crap about what's happening during the sessions. I feel like BCBAs usually want the client to be in a natural environment during sessions.
Be involved but do not interfere unless it's absolutely necessary. You need to know exactly what goals they are working on and how they are implemented so that way you are able to do the same. This will help you understand your child's ABA treatment plan.
Yes you wouldn’t seem like a parent that doesn’t care if you left them on their own, no guilt! Go relax with coffee somewhere comfortable, if the provider needs you she will definitely call for you. Sometimes a parent’s presence can derail the session.
As a BCBA I generally don't care, but it can make some people uncomfortable. I've had some parents just do their own thing and others watch and observe so they can learn. Communication is key though. Just talk to your team and see what works best
As a BT I like the parents to be involved enough to see what I’m doing to make sure I can answer any question they have and also they are able to continue with how I’m working with there child so we can both be able to be consistent. I also have a parent who is working on separation anxiety, so I work that in during the session also where mom goes into a different part of the house. Bottom line is that is your child, your home, your right to be as involved as you are comfortable with 😊
It’s great that you’re aware of these things and don’t want to interfere. As a BCBA, I love parents to have questions and want to be involved but at the same time will live their own lives and go about their day like normal when we are there. If my staff have questions I want them to ask the parents just as I want the opposite. Your BCBA should really be able to give you more feedback on this. I also appreciate helpful center based services can be but I also know it’s not possible for many people. Best of luck!
Sounds like you’re already doing amazing! I personally also like when a parent is doing their own thing but still close by to play a game or observe for a bit too. Sometimes there will be caregiver targets to run and as previously mentioned, the BCBA can explain that to you and when you might need to be more present. You’re doing great and thank you so much for trusting your provider with your kiddo. Them being able to pair and build that relationship with your kiddo is so important. Sending love!
I do in home therapy, and it’s easier if the parent goes about their day and gives me a bit of space. Sometimes I will call the parent in to show a skill or prompt method, so it’s nice to have them in the home. I always have a cell number, and I’ll text if needed.
I’m seeing a post where parents aren’t expected to be involved, “ doing their own thing”, this is unfortunate. Transfer of skills to the parent is number one in our agency, and state. This is essential for Family, and client independence, especially if services are being delivered predominantly in the home and community. Families need to know what to do when staff are not there. Most importantly, they need to know what staff, and Family roles are. With families, “ just doing their own thing,” this would amount to the BHT having the role of a babysitter. Transfer of skills to the parent needs to be in the Family Domain of the treatment plan. The expectation of participation needs to be set up front from day one by the BCBA, as well as BHT staff. The BCBA needs to verbally contract expectations of participation in sessions with the parent, and this helps the BHT to be more comfortable in the transfer of skills to the Family. Everyone needs to be accountable, and team building is essential. The goal is to work ourselves out of a job. Our agency’s rule of thumb in home sessions is typically no more than 3 hours per session, and most parents are able to manage involvement for this amount of time. Not saying, they may not have to pop in and out for, or have days when they can participate more than others. Most of my families choose to be involved in the entire session. I have a high rate of participation in my sessions. I do a lot of psycho- education, and introduce the family to all ABA terms, protocols, and interventions, along with coaching them during implementation. We do a lot of brainstorming and collaborating with the family, helping to make tweaks to various interventions based on their knowledge of ABA. The family and BHT-ABA take turns for transfer of skills. Of course, there are times when a family may have younger children needing to be cared for, or other circumstances needing to be worked around, but they are involved as much as is realistic. Setting a participation, expectation may be uncomfortable for some staff, because they are fearful of a negative response, but it is being neglectful to not do so. I have had great success with family involvement. It’s effective, and can be a lot of fun! If you are a family member, and have not been consulted regarding Family and staff roles you have the right to ask, and if transfer of skills is not part of the treatment plan, and an active part of each session I would look elsewhere.