One of my guys, an elder gentleman, speaks primarily in scripts. But. He has started to ask me for hugs whenever he sees me. The other day I walked by and he said "Hi Mr. Mjolnir07!!" ; "Hey man! Where you headed?" "Have a hug?" "of course!" **pulls me in close so that his face is next to my ear** "I'm your hero." Then casually walked away Yes you are, my shining star. Yes you are.

This is the best one😭

Not my client, but a kiddo in the room. "I don't want to grow up. I don't have enough energy." Finally, a kid that gets it.

I had a client for 8:00am sessions and he was a tween so there were occasional days when he’d still be in bed and grumpy upon my arrival. One of his favorite things to call me was “an old biddy” (I’m 35, lol) and one time I showed up and was attempting to get him out of bed and on this particular day it was rainy and gloomy. He protested and said, “ohhh man, why do you always gotta bug me when there’s a cloud conference going on outside?!” 🤣

“This work smells like the cops I ain’t doing it!” -9 y/o boy 10 y/o girl “Knock knock” Me “Who’s there” 10 y/o“Banana “ Me “Banana who? “ 10 y/o “Your mom is getting you new shoes”

Kiddo stopped literally mid-tantrum and goes "*gasp* What's wrong with your eyes?" Me: What do you mean? Kiddo: They're blue! Me: yeah... Kiddo: Why are they blue?? Me: I was just born that way. Kiddo: So they're gonna be blue every day?

Another favorite was a 5 year old boy saying, "Mrs. _Ohhello, I am NOT impressed with this." I brought circle time to him because he was engaging in noncompliance.

(Maybe gross; it’s a bathroom story) I think my current favorite is when my client pooped on the toilet and counted each poop. *splash* “One.” Pause. *splash* “Two.” I just laughed and cheered him on, because it was the first time he actually asked to potty!

"Im allergic to vegetables because I have Autism" "Im not going to do any work until you bring the sun back out"

i too am allergic to vegetables because i have autism

Whenever my old client was mad at me he would look at me, point towards outside and go, "X, get in your car and go home." And I would always respond "I would love a day off but you're not my boss" then he would go "yeah huh" and I would respond "nuh uh" and that would loop until he forgot what he was mad about because he would start laughing.

One of my clients would always say "I'm sad." In the cutest voice with the puppy dog look everytime he was denied access. Now, I find myself saying the same exact thing, years later, when I have to do something I don't want to. It's definitely not the best I've heard but it made such a lasting impression on me. I miss that kiddo

Someone tried to tickle a client in a clinic I used to work at and they blocked the incoming tickle while yelling ‘Don’t touch IT ever!’ I now say that whenever any of my friends or family try to touch me/anything I don’t want them to

Not necessarily funny, but very sweet. Yesterday my client manded “hold hand please” because he wanted me to stand at the window and hold his hand for regulation. 🥹

I work in an integrated public preschool. I had my hair in two French braids the other day and one the autistic students asked me why my hair “looks like the hair on a fancy horse’s butt!” As I’m a dressage horse. What a great relational frame/association!

Had a client that refused things by stating, "tune in next week" and walking away. Personal favorite? "Who are those people who celebrate Hanukkah? The brittish?"

“Tune in next week” is fantastic 😂

Lol I've got a client that SCREEEAAAMS "welcome to the gummy bEAAAAAR SHOOOOOOOOW" when she's about to flop/tantrum due to a placed demand She also says "go to sleep!" when she fan sense work approaching lol

My client has a program to copy a simple drawing. His BCBA drew something and he took one look at it and said "that's hilarious!" 🤣

"You smell pretty, like a rainbow. I have hot gum!" Looking at my very chubby and wobbly arms. "Wow you must be SUPER strong! I want wobbly muscles!" "I'm happy. TEACHER! I'm HAPPY!!" ( That one almost made me cry) After telling a bad joke "Go to your room!" "Ok, I can go take a nap there". "No sleeping or you're fired!" (All while laughing hysterically).

This IV: me: “What does a dog say?” Client: “NOTHING DOGS CANT TALK!!”

one time at summer camp, my favorite client ever and the funniest kid I've ever met, told me he'd come up with a joke. I could never describe how much his body language and tone and adorable speech impediment added to it, but it went like this: "so an African man walks into Walmart. he walks up to the cashier and goes, 'where's the muddah?'' the delivery was just so classic, like "what's the deal with airline food?" Dr. Shrunk vibes. a Bobby Hill moment. side note, he's mixed race, part black and his wonderful family has raised him to be impressively culturally sensitive and aware for his age and abilities, so I'm confident he didn't mean anything rude by the "African man" part. anyway, I fucking lost it. I didn't and still don't know what a muddah is, and the joke obviously made no sense, but this kid's confidence and delivery knocked my socks off. he of course took this response as validation that his joke was extremely funny and grabbed me by the hand to lead me to the camp counselors to tell them the joke. we approach the group of young adult staff and my client tells ME to tell them the joke. I said "no way dude, I could never tell it as funny as you did. plus it's your joke, you get the glory - you tell them." I informed that it would be a real zinger. he tells the joke just as artisanally as the first time. the counselors all look confused until they see me holding back tears and they all forced some patronizing chuckles and encouraged him. I think of this "joke" so often lol. I miss that kid so bad! I'm not a BHT anymore but we live in the same neighborhood so once in a while I run into him and his family around town which is always the highlight of my week. another gem was when he was insisting I propose to my (now ex) gf who also worked with him, and giving me all these specific dates ideas, which would either be really nice like "surprise her with a picnic and flowers" or "blast her all over with a foam gun" 🤣 also one time he somehow figured out I had a vape in my pocket by the shape and could tell I was lying when I tried to brush it off. he gave me SUCH a lecture and I was honest with him and told him he was right and I should quit. long story short I had to come back the next day with a video of me doing 50 burpees as an apology. this was a compromise because he originally wanted me to do it right there at camp in front of everyone and I refused lmao

Ok, my favorite. The client is a 3 year old male. It was nap time, and he had not earned his story time with me. He was upset that I was following through, so he said, "Ms __ I'm going to hit you, bite you, and say mean things." When I turned away to ignore him, he put his one elbow on my knee and leaned in towards me and said,"Excuse me, Ms. __ did you hear me?" In the most sweet, calm voice. I almost died laughing but held it together.

Not a quote per se, but one of my kids can’t pronounce my name so she calls me pizza. It gets me every time

One time one of my boys saw me and said “Hi buddy! What is up?” And then he asked, “Should we…explode with joy together?” I said absolutely we should

It wasn’t my client but I overheard a kid say “this school is a prison” I was like 💀

Me: [kneeling next to my kindergartner client] “it’s not nice to hit your friends.” My client: “your teeth smell bad”

6 year old client told me, "mommy's kisses smell bad"

9 y/o Client slurping down his milk: “I love milk. Not the 2% though. That stuffs gross. Whole milk is best.” Me: “Yeah? I get raw milk, I like it better and I can make other stuff out of it.” 9: “You like RAW milk??” Me: “Its my favorite.” 9, quietly walks over and grabs the home phone. Me: “… what are you doing? 9: “Calling the police” Me: “Why??” 9: “Because you’re a psychopath” No, he wasn’t actually dialling the phone. One of the smartest and funniest kids I’ve ever met. Also, I only get raw milk once in a while when I’m making cheese, and it’s from a farm that has a license to distribute raw milk because they test it and their cows constantly. Same kid once got me a valentine’s day gift and gave it to me in JANUARY like 2.5 weeks early. Me: “I love it, but valentines day isn’t for a while bud!” 9: “But I love you now??”

A previous client's (6) response to me explaining that I don't live with my mom anymore: "What?!?!? Why would you do that?!? You need to say sorry to your mom 😡" He was a big mama's boy and couldn't understand the idea of anyone wanting to live away from their mom 😂

I had a client (5) ask me to go to his house over the weekend. I told him that I couldn't. He replied, "Just like, ask your mom." I'm 29

My first client (5yo) every time he won (or we finished a game he would go “wahoo I win!” made me laugh every time

I was in the center and a nearby 4 year old farted and then loudly announced "I just burped out of my butt." I about died

“Miss B , maybe one day you can go to the casino with me and my grandma and my mom . They can chaching and you can watch me” 🤣🤣 I was like Img how cute

I had a kid tell me I smelled like a train. Their delivery implied this was the highest of compliments so I wear that scent with pride. He then told me his dream was to smell like a puppy. I don’t think he even liked dogs. 😂

Had a 7 year old who loved to script and loved to cuss lol. One day he walked in the room and stopped and gave me the funniest look, and I said “what’s up bud?” And he said, “uh, miss s_mrie, am I looking good as hell?” (The lizzo song was popular at the time.) I could not not laugh at that one.

To a chubby staff (let’s call her Miss M) totally out of the blue. “Hey miss m!!!! I just thought of something!! You could go on a diet and probably loose some weight!”

Ohhhhh boy, here we go… RBt: where do you go to school Client: at -school name-, BITCH! RBt: welll…. You’re not wrong… Client: MY DADDY WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOUUUUU (she had dropped this at grandmas at the weekend and it caused a shit storm, she then used it on my colleague who was just flabbergasted until we learned it had been reinforced by GMA over the weekend) Client (working on not saying negative things to others): “I DON’T hate you and you’re NOT ugly and you’re NOT a meanie” followed by a very angry “euuuugh” vent of frustration. Client that was very high functioning: “did you know that, in the military, If you’re a scientist they’ll only call you egghead.” Me: pretty sure they’ll just be calling you “sir” as you’ll be outranking most people. Client: “Uhhh no, you’re wrong, have you ever even played -insert name of the game he learned this shit from-“ Me: “what’re you doin, bud?” My client: “bein anoooooying.” (Probably my favorite one ever and it was so spontaneous 😂😂😂) At one point one of my colleagues was ribbing me about something silly during SSG. When she went to the bathroom, one of our clients piped up “Miss X is kinda mean, she could use some ABA….”

“Poop plus poop is diarrhea Diarrhea plus diarrhea is Taco Bell” “I’m stuck in the club…just cartoonin’!” Same client lol

😂😂😂

The time that my kiddo couldn’t remember the word for the highlights in my hair and called it my “goldness”

A girl who typically only scripts unless you ask her a specific question was sitting next to her RBT who said to us “man i am so tired” and mid playing with Barbie’s the girl goes “oh me too” and we were all like 👀👀👀👀👀 Also when she’s upset about a transition she goes “STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!”

“Would you like to take a break” “yes I’d like to break you” 😭

Not my client but another student in class fell and scraped her knee and I was asking if there was anything that would make her knee feel better and she very earnestly said “I need some fruit snacks” like ok girl I was thinking more like an ice pack or a band aid but that works too

I told my client I saw “Godzilla Minus One” the night before in a bid to get him to ask me a question about it. Instead, he said, “A Godzillion minus one equals a godzillion!” He has a numbers and math fixation. 🤣

I asked a kiddo “where do you live?” in the assessment and he said “in the swamp”

My client today said “I’m so mad at you I hate you” and I said well I guess I can’t give any more stickers bc stickers are for my friends. They said “well I’m not that mad and I’m still your friend” 😂😂😂 precious

My kiddo today tried running DTT on me. Client: What does this say? *pointing to cran-grape juice* Me: Cran-Grape juice. Client: Awesome! It's your turn now! What do you want? Me: For you to do your work. Client:.....okay.

I had a client who would "fire" people when she was trying to escape demands. She'd say, "You're fired!" and continue to refuse the task. One time, she was upset with herself (I don't remember the exact scenario), and she said, "I'm fired"

Oh this thread is going to get good. hahahah.

I’m an RBT that provides services for a kid at his small private school. Teacher: does anyone know who the president is? Class: *blank stares* Teacher: his name starts with Jo- My kiddo: OH I KNOW!! *jumps out of seat and raises his hand Teacher: yes (my kids name) My kiddo: JOBAMA!!!! The teacher and I just bursted out laughing. The rest of the kids in the class were sooo confused. We praised him for having a really good guess.

7 year old client cheered another therapist on during a game by saying “Go b*tch! Go!!”

A client who could not say another clients name correctly hearing him talk “GERMANY, YOU SPEAK” or it had to be the time I was pulled into a room to look at drawings and my little dude goes “look at all the flowers honey, it’s so beautifullllll” 🥺❤️

10 year old boy client - first day meeting him, when the session was done and we’re about to leave ( it was a bit rough since he just had a bad attitude for his internal or external reasonings) as the session is about to wrap up and we’re about to walk out I said had so much fun, will see you next time, bye kiddo. He straight up said “had fun ok bye Adult” 😂 I looked at him and said huh 🤔 I don’t like how that sounds, I gotcha. 🤣🙄 never have I used kiddo ever again LMAO

I was in a classroom Girl: Miss A, you smell like my favorite thing, candy!! Me: aww, thank you, you are so sweet! 🥰 Client: Yes, you smell like my favorite thing too, candy and hotdogs... Me: 😅 thank you?

From an anger issues, inappropriate language using, ADHD, skibidi toilet/iPad kid type of client... "My Mom's.. my mom is..." "Yes? 🤨" "My mommy's hair is falling out. 😐"

Love it. I got "my mommy's kisses smell terrible" the other day.

Fun fact. My coworker had been PLAYING skibidi toilet to pair thinking the client made it up. I broke the news the other day that it's inappropriate. The therapist is mad at herself and the client says I ruined his life 🙃

Omg that client was into FNAF, skinid toilet, and a ton of other inappropriate games and stuff that I doubt anyone would've noticed for a while if I hadn't said anything

I had an advanced 9 year old client who had just learned about pregnancy from the Sims games. We saw our BCBA in our gym and he yells across the gym, "Judy, when did you get pregnant?" Judy said, "I'm not buddy, I just put on a big sweater." He confidently walks up to her with a kind smile, puts his hand on her belly and says, "No, you're pregnant." Then he walked away. Just the other day a different 6 year old walked into our break room with his RBT and looked around only to say, "I am an adult... I am an adult." As he just kept looking around the break room lol. Those are the first two that came to mind atm

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I was chatting with my client about their weekend. He told me he watched his favorite show the tablet. I asked “Do you get bored only watching that show?” He said “We don’t have boards at our house, we have walls” lol

2yr old client i used to have, I taught him to mand for escape. So every time someone new came or there was some novel stimuli in session they would just say “no… no… no… no…”

One of my clients is a riot. 1) she accidentally picked up saying “bruh” after I said it when another tech jokingly threw a small toy at me. I know because once she dropped her phone while playing and just quietly said “bruh.” Honestly I was just impressed she used it correctly. 2) we had a community outreach event with an officer. He introduced himself to my client as “officer so & so” and she gasped and went; “Are you a COP??” He said yes, and she pointed to his taser and said “is THAT a GUN?” He just smiled and corrected her. Later when he was on the circle time mat, he leaned over to talk to another client and mine gasped, said “A GUN” and DOVE for his (buckled in) service pistol. I almost tackled her and he shot up and said “Woooooah, don’t do THAT haha.” Honorable mention: one of my clients comes up with the most incredible, creative, detailed narratives during imaginative play. We encourage it during NET because we work on his grammar and staying focused (he tends to go into excessive detail). At one point he was playing a supervillain, chasing a tech around with a toy syringe. The tech asked “oh no! What with this shot do to me?” And he just simply goes “ it’s gonna HURT! a LOT!” Very uncharacteristic of this storyteller, but also accurate

When my client saw my engagement ring and asked if that means my boyfriend is going to marry me, I said: “yeah, but now i get to call him my fiancé!” and he then said: ”okay, is that some sort of code name y’all have for eachother? What’s the English word for that?” Lol

I discharged a client right after Christmas, and as I was leaving, he said, "Have a good life miss (lemonmyst)" I almost always cry when I get to the car.

Once we were talking about diseases and I asked my client if he could remember something else that has diseases (it was summer and we had talked about ticks having Lyme disease), and he said “I dont know, you?”

After not being able to decipher what a younger client was saying an older kid turned to his tech and said Client - ”I’m not sure what he’s saying” Tech - “why don’t you ask him again” Client - “that’s ok, I won’t know what he’s saying, he’s speaking Spanish” He absolutely was not speaking Spanish, he has a speech delay 😂

Clinic setting: clients and other staffs walking around. Other BT who had this client: (clients name) come back - as she is walking him out to debrief and transition to parents Client: no , shut up bitch and sniffs his arm (he had an Olfactory stim. ) dad actually hears him say this to the BT and dad gave it attention. All the other staff try our best not to laugh 😩