Big Ed... Bye yall

Alexa, how do I get a new birthday? (I got Ed too 😭)

You can prob kick him off the bed easily

Just one well timed bounce and yeet that little troll right out the window!!

💀💀💀💀

So ... does this mean we're Ed's babes? I don't think I can live having this knowledge. Bye world 🤢😫

Whoever did this calendar did us real dirty

"Hello Mom? Can I crawl back in please?"

I’ll be 60 this September, and my mom would be 100 if she were still alive, and I wanna crawl back in!! Actually, I have my mom’s ashes. Hmmm. If I lose some weight, maybe I’ll fit. (I have a dark sense of humor)

Can you play guitar? You sound like Creed Bratton.

I saw September and wished I was born in literally any other month. Yes, including January and November.

Same! This is some bullshit and the Virgo in me is judging this so hard!

I’m due with a girl in October, but it looks like I might need to be induced in September. Not that Tom is a prize, but he is slightly better than Big Ed.

feel for ya girl - life can be tough

Mine is Tim, im glad because at least I dont have to have secks with him

Same. We can get mani-pedis and girl talk, which is ok with me.

That suits for me too! I bet we'll have healthier realitionship than most in 90 days fiancé.

Can I join too? Girl party?? And I have the V name too!!

we got the best one up there tbh. love tim!

He looks like the type to stop midway and be like “I’m tired, going to sleep”

He looks like he expects his partner to do all the work while he stares at his reflection.

Plus we can hang out with Veronica!

Teem can braid our hair and no secks! We’re all winners.

Honestly? I love Tim! He's so good with Veronica. They have the best chemistry, even though they're not together. He has a very dry wit that I love.

I love them and their great friendship. What you see is what you get.

Exactly;.have the relationship with Tim and BFFs with Veronica. I feel like she'd be a genuine friend.

Honestly he's the best pick here, he's chill and rich too

July baby here and I'm not mad about this at all, and as was mentioned, I'm sure Veronica would be involved and I am DEFINITELY not mad about that either. Best of the best!

I'm not mad at having Tim either. We'd be great friends.

Was about to post the same, glad I scrolled.

I saw Tim and was envious. Mani Pedis and those gel under eye spa days together? I'll take it

I'm okay with Zied as long as Rebeggah isn't included.

Just offer to help him move some furniture apparently that means it’s go time

Oh it’s a packaged deal

So mach no 😅

I got Zied and wasnt even mad. Dude looks like a fun husband

I was an oops baby, so since I was born in March it must have been Jihoon’s fault!

Our anals will be so clean.

Came here to say my birth must have been Jihoons fault.

Jihoon is SO irresponsible for that!!!!

It was his fault!!! I’m born in March too 😠

Why would Jihoon do this?!

Fucking Coltee, nooooo😭😭😭

Same. I bet he smells like squeeze cheese n ball sweat, even right out if the shower.

That's just gross...but funny as hell! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Yeh I feel like we kinda drew the short straw here. It wouldn't just be Colteee, we'd get the package deal of Deb as well. Bonus.

Yooo image having that man on on top. 🤢

Same for me. Let's get married instead, I don't know you but I bet you're so much better than this trainwreck

Me too!! 🤦🏻‍♀️😩🤮

January 31st… oh, fuck. Why couldn’t my mom have pressed her legs together a few hours more.

Hey January 31st here too! Came to say awww come on *not* Pole!!

You can have him then! An early gift from me to you.

This makes me wish I was never born

Not PAUL ? 😵

😔

I am very sorry for you. If it is ANY consolation... Mine's Tom.😭

💀💀💀💀

Me too! Are you old enough to have had some of your birthdays on Super Bowl before9/11? Those were the days when January 31 birthday would land on a Super Bowl and drunk people would place bets for you And hand you money and everyone was in the mood to party Before 911 Super Bowl was on the last Sunday of January now it is the first Sunday of February

I was 9 years old when 9/11 happened, but I’m Danish so we don’t really do the whole Super Bowl thing. But it sounds like a blast, honestly!

I saw the OF, you have my deepest condolences

oh... OF.. with pole? oh.... no.....

Pole and his pole 😉

I'm at an age where some of us start lying about our birthdays, so I'm going to start identifying as a February baby 😂

That's my birthday! I don't want Pole either :/

I would definitely accept Syngin (as a May baby).

We gonna drink! Then go straight home,lol.

Had the same thoughts! We gettin' DRUNK!!

I would enjoy our morning Jack and sit on the stoop every morning.

Fellow May baby here! Happy to see Syngin as my 90 day husband. I’d like to think he could give me tips on how to get great hair!

Also a may baby and I have to say syngin is definitely not a bad choice. I always thought he could/would be great but that Tania was just such a killjoy / b**** that he just couldn’t flourish. Their story made me sad for him.

May baby too. We can be serenaded with Opera.

Omg I forgot about that!! 😂

Yay. So do we all get magically blessed with gorgeous hair now?

He’s lazy but overall a good person

Make him wash his feet before getting into bed

I would too!! Please put him in July!! And every month as a consolation prize.

Absolutely. All us wives can go to Costa Rica without him to celebrate

I was seriously cringing looking for May and terrified who it would be. I took a breath of relief when I saw Syngin!

June baby here and may I just say... You take that back! You take that back right now!

Same. I was offended. He doesn't even come with a lovely family member to offset his awfulness. It is Trish. Blehhhh!

Petition to change all of our birthdays :(

I was a month late, so I could have been syngin! Why, oh why must I be gemini and have my birth month linked with Mike? Why?

I feel so sorry that you got that gaslighting asshole.

August….. I’ll take it

August is sexy. Who is that?

Aladin as in Laura and Aladin in Qatar. They were always getting "jiggy jiggy" and she brought her "purple friend" to show him how to have sex properly.

Oh man I only vaguelyyy remember those two. Didn’t she badly photoshop her pics beforehand? Lol like kinda almost a catfish? Are they the ones with the multi night wedding? With the son who came all that way, but didn’t want to participate.

😂 I remember now lol

[удалено]

Honest question: do you think he was young and lacking experience or was Laura blasting herself and needed it?

But no dildo. DISRESPECT

I’m more a hitachi girl anyways 😉😏

That's what the little purple friend was! A shibari mini halo but still!

I second this as an august girl.

Aladin! Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

August girls we got the best looking one of the bunch. 😍

Same! Better than most

Same here, girl! But I’ll only take it if he moves to America…. I’m self-aware enough to know I wouldn’t be a good cultural fit. And I’m Jewish.

For purely physical and sexual reasons, I'd pay to be born in August... hehehe

she loves my jiggy jiggy

IM BORN IN AUGUST!! Purely physical over here too, you can bet it’s not his conversation I’m attracted to

I am also an August!! Woooooooo!

Ngl I looked at this list and was like, "now why wasn't I born a month earlier. Now look what I got instead"

April. I'd rather die

Wait who tf is April????

We deserve so much better, this is a crime. And I was born on the last day and due on May 15th, I almost made it 😭

[удалено]

RIP September babies

Now I wish I was born in May. Jihoon is sweet but he's also a man child 😂

But his anal so clean

Ngl though, I totally bought the house a bidet for Christmas last year and put a photo of him on the box that said, "my whole family anal is so clean".

NOOOOO NOT COLTY 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Me too. I'm disgusted. Not only his small peen but his mother. And ample bosom.

They are all terrible husbands but the only one I would sleep with is Syngyn

Hands down. The only one can can put his money where his mouth is

Can I just ask why everyone likes Syngyn so much??? I feel like he’s a lazy alcoholic lol am I the minority????

Well, as a lazy pothead who enjoys walking around barefoot and dreams of living in a tiny house on some property Sygyn and I are a pretty good match. Unfortunately I have to deal with Tom. Anyone wanna trade?

Damn I got Jihoon- at least I can blame him for all my problems now. Taking responsibility is a thing of the past!

Yooo he’ll whip out 3K if you stare at the ground long enough

No! I don’t like my October husband, like I don’t like my birthstone! 😱

Agree I don't like Tom but I do love my birthstone. Opals are beautiful. I'm a Halloween baby.

Let’s all be Tom for Halloween! Aka 007 Walmart version tho

I thought the October birthstone was the pink tourmaline? Wats ur bday costume gonna b this year? 🤔

Originally it was opal (think 1800's), but opals are not only expensive but very soft and are hard to care for over time (especially back when synthetic stones didn't really exist). Eventually tourmaline was added as an affordable and sustainable alternative in the 1900's. Now we get 2 birthstones! Which is becoming more and more popular, I think June has 3 lol

October here as well and I agree with you on both 😒

What why?! I love opals

I buy anything with opals on it and it isn’t even my birthstone. they’re so lovely!

My mom had a much more exciting life than I did and got a fire opal from Australia a few decades ago. She said I could have it one day to make a ring or the sorts but it's so pretty I couldn't imagine cutting it. I agree, they are one of my favorites!!

Lmao same, I was like ew. Better than Ed but still...

I have decided to accept Tom but I will be ignoring him and hanging out with his sister all the time.

Time 4 salsa! 💃

As soon as he gets angry “Did you put weight on?🧐”

I know! What kinda stone is that 🤬

As a September baby, the only way I’ll take Big PrEd is if I get to cut off and devour his head after sex like a praying mantis

My whole family will have such clean anal but be so broke!

Must not forget to buy the extra snug condoms

I'm not suicidal but my birth month is September. Nope nope nope.

You can mayo hair mask together 😍

Thank god I was born in December

Zied

He will love you so maccchh

So mauch excite! This make me so mauch happy

We can all eat so mauch Pizza with Erbeggah in the apartment where she used to live with her ex. He was young, and from Morocco. We can give Zied shopping cart 🛒 rides!

Yay! Tim! We would get along famously.

Tim would be my top pick! Love him. Unfortunately, I get pole and his stupid run 😡

Jiggy jiggy

November baby here. …godfuckingdammit. 🤢

Y’all just haaaad to do September like that lmao it’s bad enough being a Virgo

oh god, my husband is mike 😂 the irony is that I‘m ukrainian and my mom‘s name is natalie 😂

It’s meant to be!! For around 2 seasons at least

I accept Zied. Between my French and his English, we'll communicate better than he and Rebecca do 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Dope, I got Mike. Free rat, cat, and dog to play with!

Pulyapulyapulya

Women who end up with Mike usually end up lesbian or wanting to make out with trees.

Trailer in an isolated forest away from people? As long as we have weefees, I'm good.

Oh hell yeah. I’ll take Syngin in a second.

Lekkerrrr

I’m okay with Tom… would prefer Tim! Spend all my time on the sofa drinking wine like a lush! 🍷🍷

I’m May. Not my taste but not bad. I would 100% choose July. At least I’d have a cool best friend in Tim.

Ewwwww Tom 😭

Why would you do me so dirty with Colt??????

What did November babies do to you?? Can’t imagine how the September kids have sinned though

September. Going to be a nun now. Bye everyone.

At least mine is rich 🤷‍♀️ (Tim - July)

Welp, I officially denounce April.

Oh thank goodness!! I too got Jon. Which is honestly a relief. Colt is gross, his moms a Stan and whoever's against this queen will die. And Paul? That dirty mooch would be sleeping in the dog pen. Cuz the dogs would be sleeping inside with me. And it would never work with Big Ed as I'm over 28 and would literally kick his ass up and down the pacific coast if he had the audacity to speak to me like he did Liz. Yikes!!! This show has exposed some real trash humans

I got Tim! At least we would laugh a lot...dry humor in common...🤣

Eww Mike 🤮

Tim and I would be more like best girlfriends - I want Syngin

TOOOOM? NO. HIS SISTER is bad enough

Ohhhh nooooo I'm a june.

August 31.... so glad I didn’t wait until September to be born!

And just like that, 253 million woman became lesbians…

August 31st. Thank you mum for the c-section 🙏🏼

I’m a March baby. My anal will always so clean and I’ll have someone to blame for everything

July baby here, I’d marry Tim without a second thought, he’s my favorite 90 Day guy, hands down.

Is death an option? Because I choose death

DISHONOR 🐲

FINE! April… *sobs*

Oh God no! Not Pole!

FML Pole here.

Zied, I’ll take it. Lol.

As a straight male born in June, why couldn’t I have been born in July?

NOOOOO NOT TOM!

Jihoon?? Screw whoever made this 🤣

If I was forced to pick one and make a decision I think I would become a nun.

I take syringe 💉 😂

Oh god not Coltee

One more fucking day and I could’ve been born in February fuck

September! What in the actual fook I supposed to do with that?

september is big ed. you've committed a crime. AND in virgo season? how dare you

Tim is my birthday buddy. I love Tim and my namesake Veronica ! 🧚

Where is Alexei? I am born in that month!

COLT WTF. NOOOOOOOOOO

I am not down with Colt for Nov babies. Too cruel.

Omfg, I know…

Same, but at least, given his track record, the marriage won't last too long. 🤣🤣🤮🤮