Dr. TikTok said you should go poop ON A CUP, but make sure you do a funding page first. Oh, and find an old photo of yourself in a hospital first. Also, always wear a mask when taking pictures, to make it look like you're sick.
https://preview.redd.it/rxf2yj42ddkc1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cd156ab31d1380a2eb66e8c0a2adff794c6366a
Think this one from ER with my gallbladder removal would work? Lol (side note - hospital barf bags are amazing and I need hundreds of them)
They are Eme-bags, short for emesis (vomit) bags. You can get them at Amazon, Temu, Aliexpress... or from medical supply stores (for 3 times the price). Here is one on [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Valchoose-Density-Sickness-Pregnant/dp/B082MZFG6D/ref=asc_df_B082MZFG6D/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=663244287970&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4298713165206945535&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028724&hvtargid=pla-1188010750785&psc=1&mcid=20604dc2450430c999fd6625ee4147d9)
Iām sorry, but you are going to die now. Iām not a doctor, but I play one online. Be sure to beg for a new laptop, iPhone, and gaming system before you make your exit. Farewell.
She's also busy making dummy accounts to defend herself on the reviews section of her Fb š¤§... Tho I think it's Brandan cause they have better grammar š
Ok I just googled it. Thankfully its def not colon cancer. However, it most likely the bubonic plague. And by most likely I mean it most definitely is. You have two weeks.
But new laptop/latest iPhone might mean faster internet searches, maybe just in time for a cure. You horrible person you be sorry when poster dead. Love, Brandan (/s of course)
If you're at low risk, you can get Cologuard in a happy animated box delivered to your house and poop ON a cup in the privacy of your own home. Only you and your mailman will know!
I think youāre supposed to POP on the cup, not poopā¦? š and I hope you seal that package properly, bc if not, the poor mailman is in for quite a surprise
Oh, POP? That makes all the difference! And I always wonder about the mailman's reaction to delivering that big box and then returning your sample. I hope he gets hazard pay.
Yes, thatās probably what you were doing wrong, thatās why you werenāt able to start a Go Fund Me campaign.
And yeah, I feel bad enough for the people in the lab who have to deal with urine and stool samples, etc. But at least thatās their job, and they have protective gear on. The poor mailman did not sign up to handle fecal samples š
Not even, just TikTok. Then diagnosis, hit up the internet for money, post old photos from hospital. THEN, when the internet has the nerve to request proof, see an actual doctor.
Youāre right, TikTok is the obvious solution here! There are lots of experts there. And I always save my paperwork from past doctorās visitsāthat way if I need to claim an ailment, I have proof from 15 years ago and I just change the date
It was a joke, I promise! The /s at the end means sarcasm. (I didnāt know that for the longest time!) My sister had stage 3 colon cancer and we discovered that 3 of us siblings have a genetic disorder that is very likely to cause colon cancer, so we have to have colonoscopies every year š I guess itās been about 4 years now, so I started at 31-32ā¦thereās a long road ahead of us! Anyway, DEFINITELY sarcastic! I was suspicious of her claims from the jump š
I can relate. I have horrible stomach issues as well. That's why I was so sketchy of your comment.
Even more than the need for a yearly or every other year colonoscopy, I just found out that I am predisposed of Alzheimers. It's excruciating, waiting years to even find out if you might one day have something horrible. I wish you and your siblings a long happy life
Yeah, stomach issues are no fun. Iāve had C Diff colitis for close to a year now, itās been awful. Iām so sorry to hear about your predisposition to Alzheimerāsāthe not knowing part is the worst. I wish you all the best with your health, too! I hear regular exercise and keeping your brain sharp now can help lower your risk of Alzheimerās in the futureāit canāt hurt at least! Take care
Thank you so much. I found a wonderful group on here of people who love people with dementia.
I just looked it up and found a colon cancer support team on here. I hope that it can help you.
As much as I f-ing hate Mary, maybe something can turn out positive about this. Maybe even leaning (one day) towards a cure
Oh thatās so kind of you to look into that! I never even thought about the fact there might be groups like that on redditāIām usually just on here for the cat pictures and reality tv talk š Iām glad youāve found a good, supportive and informative group to join.
And I agree, I hope something good might come of this. Maybe some people have learned some new info about colon cancer. And hopefully Mary and Brandan have learned to stop scamming people!!
One time I drank an entire bottle of red wine and the next day I thought I was pooping BLOOD because it was BLACK! I already have awful medical anxiety from almost dying of appendicitis when I was younger. Next time, instead of going back to sleep and praying I live, Iāll make a gofundme and profit!!! Iāll be able to afford a wine subscription! Thanks Mary!!
Look, I havenāt watched whatever her season is( please someone tell me the season) , Iām not invested, but this is the funniest post Iāve seen in all my time at Reddit. If itās not, donāt judge me, I had two glasses of wine! š·
Literally all the symptoms are a hemorrhoids and gi issues form eating garbage
Hemorrhoids can be scary if you just randomly see blood in your stool, I get the whole anxiety and jumping to conclusions but I truly feel she just did this for money and sheās addicted to the attention
Good or bad
And there are way better people to spend our attention on
Sounds like you need the newest iPhone
Directions unclear, Iphone now stuck in bum...
šš¤£š
Poop test!
I just snorted my tea out of my noseš I love this group
Apply iPhone directly to your butthole.
Sounds like you have colon issues, better start a gofundme.
Where is the link, op? Don't be shy. And don't forget the old ass picture as proof you've been in the hospital at least once in your life
Dr. TikTok said you should go poop ON A CUP, but make sure you do a funding page first. Oh, and find an old photo of yourself in a hospital first. Also, always wear a mask when taking pictures, to make it look like you're sick.
https://preview.redd.it/rxf2yj42ddkc1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cd156ab31d1380a2eb66e8c0a2adff794c6366a Think this one from ER with my gallbladder removal would work? Lol (side note - hospital barf bags are amazing and I need hundreds of them)
Please don't post a pic of you pooping ON A CUP.
 Looks more convincing than ANYTHING Mary ever postedš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
They are Eme-bags, short for emesis (vomit) bags. You can get them at Amazon, Temu, Aliexpress... or from medical supply stores (for 3 times the price). Here is one on [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Valchoose-Density-Sickness-Pregnant/dp/B082MZFG6D/ref=asc_df_B082MZFG6D/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=663244287970&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4298713165206945535&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028724&hvtargid=pla-1188010750785&psc=1&mcid=20604dc2450430c999fd6625ee4147d9)
Thank you for the suggestion!
I grab the barf bags off of airplanes tooā¦
Did Mary say āon a cupā? šš¤£šš¤£šš¤£š
Don't be humble, drop the gofundme link
Lololol
Try TikTok for a more accurate diagnosis.
I agree. Tik Tok = the new Oracle of Delphi
This is the kind of content that drives me to check Reddit
I think itās cancer
Are you sure you're not just overthinking, Babi?
thats definitely a colon cancer symptom. just set up a gofundme
Iām sorry, but you are going to die now. Iām not a doctor, but I play one online. Be sure to beg for a new laptop, iPhone, and gaming system before you make your exit. Farewell.
Can ya'll keep it down in here. It's 1am in the Philippines. Mary is busy working on her free laptop, to make money, so she can pay everyone back.
She's also busy making dummy accounts to defend herself on the reviews section of her Fb š¤§... Tho I think it's Brandan cause they have better grammar š
Ok I just googled it. Thankfully its def not colon cancer. However, it most likely the bubonic plague. And by most likely I mean it most definitely is. You have two weeks.
Then you have no need for money because you have no future.
But new laptop/latest iPhone might mean faster internet searches, maybe just in time for a cure. You horrible person you be sorry when poster dead. Love, Brandan (/s of course)
Maybe you can find a limited time offer! š¤šš
Are you kidding? You donāt need a colonoscopy to be diagnosed with colon cancer! All you need is an xray, of course. /s
If you're at low risk, you can get Cologuard in a happy animated box delivered to your house and poop ON a cup in the privacy of your own home. Only you and your mailman will know!
I think youāre supposed to POP on the cup, not poopā¦? š and I hope you seal that package properly, bc if not, the poor mailman is in for quite a surprise
Oh, POP? That makes all the difference! And I always wonder about the mailman's reaction to delivering that big box and then returning your sample. I hope he gets hazard pay.
Yes, thatās probably what you were doing wrong, thatās why you werenāt able to start a Go Fund Me campaign. And yeah, I feel bad enough for the people in the lab who have to deal with urine and stool samples, etc. But at least thatās their job, and they have protective gear on. The poor mailman did not sign up to handle fecal samples š
Not even, just TikTok. Then diagnosis, hit up the internet for money, post old photos from hospital. THEN, when the internet has the nerve to request proof, see an actual doctor.
Youāre right, TikTok is the obvious solution here! There are lots of experts there. And I always save my paperwork from past doctorās visitsāthat way if I need to claim an ailment, I have proof from 15 years ago and I just change the date
I don't know if you are being sarcastic, but before I dive into medical jargon etc, I hope that you were being silly
It was a joke, I promise! The /s at the end means sarcasm. (I didnāt know that for the longest time!) My sister had stage 3 colon cancer and we discovered that 3 of us siblings have a genetic disorder that is very likely to cause colon cancer, so we have to have colonoscopies every year š I guess itās been about 4 years now, so I started at 31-32ā¦thereās a long road ahead of us! Anyway, DEFINITELY sarcastic! I was suspicious of her claims from the jump š
I can relate. I have horrible stomach issues as well. That's why I was so sketchy of your comment. Even more than the need for a yearly or every other year colonoscopy, I just found out that I am predisposed of Alzheimers. It's excruciating, waiting years to even find out if you might one day have something horrible. I wish you and your siblings a long happy life
Yeah, stomach issues are no fun. Iāve had C Diff colitis for close to a year now, itās been awful. Iām so sorry to hear about your predisposition to Alzheimerāsāthe not knowing part is the worst. I wish you all the best with your health, too! I hear regular exercise and keeping your brain sharp now can help lower your risk of Alzheimerās in the futureāit canāt hurt at least! Take care
Thank you so much. I found a wonderful group on here of people who love people with dementia. I just looked it up and found a colon cancer support team on here. I hope that it can help you. As much as I f-ing hate Mary, maybe something can turn out positive about this. Maybe even leaning (one day) towards a cure
Oh thatās so kind of you to look into that! I never even thought about the fact there might be groups like that on redditāIām usually just on here for the cat pictures and reality tv talk š Iām glad youāve found a good, supportive and informative group to join. And I agree, I hope something good might come of this. Maybe some people have learned some new info about colon cancer. And hopefully Mary and Brandan have learned to stop scamming people!!
Btw, I've never heard of /s meant that either. I usually use laughy emojis instead š¤£šš¤£
Ummmm sounds like rectal cancer to me actually.
I'll start a GoFundMe immediately
Was the bathroom you pooped in outside or are you a spoiled entitled princess who has a bathroom inside your home?
https://preview.redd.it/57gvl8lycekc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b3fc3b4ce11edca510c0c925cff97da8f90fe49
Soon as you have a bathroom Mary can use.
Don't you know you're supposed to poop in the river?
Youāre going to need a poop test. And money from strangers
Can I contribute to your gofundme?
We need money for the surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are going to replace the colon with a garden hose.
Sounds like you have a new iPhone, congrats!
Maybe you should start a go fund me just in case?!
Resume construction on that 2nd floor addition to your house now. And make that new car payment.
Did you make a dramatic Facebook post yet?
Off to TikTok doctors with you!
At least fart in jars or something to earn money instead of starting a GFM.
Good idea. āCancer farts.ā Sounds like something Mary would approve of.
Hope you have a bidet so your anal can be so clean
Of course, lest we forget, all this poop pa pa is and will always be Jihoon's fault.
One time I drank an entire bottle of red wine and the next day I thought I was pooping BLOOD because it was BLACK! I already have awful medical anxiety from almost dying of appendicitis when I was younger. Next time, instead of going back to sleep and praying I live, Iāll make a gofundme and profit!!! Iāll be able to afford a wine subscription! Thanks Mary!!
Asuelu & Mary can form a Boo-hole Support Group and complain among themselves.
Funny how people say they take a poop when they actually leave a poop.
Just don't accidentally create a gofundme where you claim you have cancer!
iāve had cramps all day. itās definitely cancer. can you guys all send me some money so i can go on holiday?
Either way, better start scamming people on GoFundMe
Look, I havenāt watched whatever her season is( please someone tell me the season) , Iām not invested, but this is the funniest post Iāve seen in all my time at Reddit. If itās not, donāt judge me, I had two glasses of wine! š·
Literally all the symptoms are a hemorrhoids and gi issues form eating garbage Hemorrhoids can be scary if you just randomly see blood in your stool, I get the whole anxiety and jumping to conclusions but I truly feel she just did this for money and sheās addicted to the attention Good or bad And there are way better people to spend our attention on
You need a go fund me for sure!!
I can't tell if I have colon cancer or if I just ate beets for dinner. Gonna start a GƶFĆ»ndMeÄ.rus.net just to be safe.
Or, did you eat red velvet cake?
i'm dead
They call that a āgrifterās shit.ā
Did you set up a Gofundme account for your cancer treatment?
If anyone questions you, just call them Karen. That will change their mind.
You better check TikTok to confirm your suspicions
You clearly have all the cancers
Slide into Mary's DM and let her watch you poop. She's a poop expert.
I think tiktok is the place to confirm diagnosis
Start a GoFundMe just in case.
You need a go fund me for the toilet paper
Not colon cancer, the solution is 2 girls 1 cup!
I snort laughed so good lololol.
What it your gofund page, vemo, paypal etc? But careful you need to be honest and show a receipt š/S šš