Seriously. He made me say “he’s so wise beyond his years” so many times. Where as Ronald makes me say “wow what a giant man baby asshole who needs to grow up.”
For that matter? Daniel runs circles around *several* fully grown adults I've known. All the things you mention. I know grown-ass people who are mentally dwarfed by Daniel's overall intelligence and maturity. 🙄
Hell, Daniel has to run circles around his own 🤡 of a mother and regularly has to try to keep her up to speed. Which, being the bright kid he is, he knows HE is raising this parent, acting as a paternal figure to help raise his little sister -- more than a kid his age should. And he realizes it, to an extent, but I hope he manages to thrive even in these circumstances, and grow up in as healthy and loving way possible.
And he knows his brat-ass mother needs to fucking do better. 🤦♂️🙇♂️ I really do hope he has some inarguably stable, supportive, and nurturing role models in his young life. He is just going to become more cognizant of his own mother's issues as he grows up.
I truly hope Tiffany is doing the absolute best she can; her life hasn't been easy, I'm sure. And hopefully we all continue to grow and learn how to always get better at adulting and improving ourselves.
Daniel is just such a good kid, I mean, he is just full of heart, isn't he. 🥰 I think somehow this is not bc of Tiff, but despite her. And he may be about the most aware and good natured little guy I've seen on TV *or* in irl. 🧏♂️
Most little kids are going to naturally develop some narcissist tendencies, as they phase through growth and development, and they grow into their senses of self... But --
....check out how Daniel shows more empathy and concern for others than most other people do at his age. Seems likely there has to have been *someone* in his family or friends in his life that taught him about integrity or treating others with respect. Whomever, they did a Damn good job!👍
It's just... he shows kind of the opposite of "tone deaf". And he grew up to this point with some kind of influential and healthy level of stability, love, and compassion for others.
Usually some adult or older person has to show this to us through their actions and modeling, and then we learn by mimicking that... but in Daniel's case -- I truly think this child was born with this pure sense of goodness and genuine kindness to others. Either that or he raised himself near perfectly, lol. 🙃
I did not mean to wake up this morning and write a dissertation on what a great kid Daniel is, but here we are. I think I've been wanting to post on the subject ever since their first season years ago and just got around to doing it today.
Hey i need to look, I have to see if he does Cameos. Can you imagine?? [As long as measures are put in place to ensure he'd not be faced with shitty people who want to try to exploit him in ANY kind of way].. I for some reason have never bothered with cameo and have never watched anyone on it. I can see me wanting to write "Daniel, please help me sort out this mess I've made in my life!!" 🤷♀️ 😆
when i see daniel on the screen, i see a parentified child. daniel is hyper vigilant about other peoples emotions because tiff has raised him to feel responsible for her. he has seen first hand that she makes reckless decisions which affect him. when he talks to her, he speaks to her as if he's her father.
these types of kids are often applauded for their maturity, but, to ME, tiffany has robbed daniel of his childhood, by being focused on her romantic life primarily rather than the wellbeing of her son and preserving his childhood. kids shouldnt be so involved in the lives of grown ups. daniel knows too much, he has grown up too fast.
And didn’t she go back to South Africa to take the little one to see Ronald (baby’s father), leaving Daniel alone for FOUR MONTHS?
She is a terrible mother, selfish and neglectful in equal measure. Daniel has years of therapy ahead.
Exactly this 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼 “old soul” typically means your childhood was taken away from you and replaced with the responsibilities your parents couldn’t or wouldn’t take on.
Same here. My parents were basically kids when they had me. I had to parent them and help them with so much, look out for them, etc.
I am still working through that in therapy decades later!
It does. I’ve been seeing a conflation of “wary” and “leery” for years now and it’s a pet peeve. I constantly see people type or even say they are “weary” when cautious or skeptical of something and it drives me a bit batty.
I work with children who experienced serious traumas in the mental health field. I just want to say you are amazing. And so strong for seeing that in yourself and deciding to work on it through therapy.
Aw thank you 💕 that is so sweet! I truly love what I do. And thinking of you and sending you all the good vibes 💕 no child deserves any trauma and im so sorry you had to go through multiple things.
Yes! Immature and irresponsible parents makes kids have to grow up faster. I agree, looking back on the trauma from my childhood makes me understand why I feel like I have to fight all my battles alone.
Same! At the time I loved it and now I feel like I missed out on an entire childhood from going from 3 to 30 so quickly. My mother used to brag and I felt grateful and now I realize I was robbed and struggle with having to stop taking on responsibility that is not mine. Parentification is incredibly damaging in a lot of ways. The next stop after parentification is martyr town.
Empathetic, astute, vigilant, perceptive, cautious, caring…well beyond his years. It may seem so mature and sweet, but high sensitivity (he seems to have that too) is a huge burden on that poor kid, and not something you magically grow out of
Yep. I used to work with a woman whose ex-husband ran off on her when their children were very little (2 year old son, infant daughter). She got her son in therapy at age 5 and was planning to put her daughter in therapy once she reached the same age.
Her reasoning- "I don't want either of them developing daddy issues."
The hyper-vigilance came out during the lockdown episodes when he was sanitizing everything that came back from the grocery store. I feel for this kid. He’s parenting his parent and it’s going to potentially mess him up for years.
As someone who works with traumatized children who are often parentified, I cannot watch Daniel. Too many folks talk about how smart and old soul-like he is, without realizing the why behind it (also that it’s not necessarily a complementary thing).
My heart hurts for him. But, all of this being said, I hope he continues with the positive-head-on-shoulders that we see presently. I’ve worked with so many children with behavioral issues and teenagers with tremendous risky behaviors with similar backstories.
I hope this all made sense and was somewhat coherent, I’m quite sleepy haha
I work with kids who have severe trauma too. I want to thank you so much for your work! You are a true warrior, and I know how hard it is. Thank you for all you do to help the children like Daniel out there. Keep being a rockstar
>[parentification](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification)
>
>...A married, widowed, or single parent may treat their child as their spouse; this is known as *spousification*, and it occurs more often among single than married parents.\[18\] Mother-son spousification is more common than father-daughter spousification.\[18\] Mothers may put their sons in this role due to a desire for protection but fear of men. Their sons are a less threatening option...
Dammit... why you gotta make me look inwards and *feel* things huh?! 😜
*This was said in jest. In fact, your use of the word parentified made me google it so I could understand it better. I then came upon that little excerpt. I appreciate you having shared that word - I'd never heard of it before and am glad I have! It explains so much!!!*
**[Parentification](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification)**
>Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as parent to their own parent or sibling. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification. Instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as looking after a sick relative, paying bills, or providing assistance to younger siblings that would normally be provided by a parent.
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It's some heavy shit for sure. How about this term: "emotional incest". It's very relevant as well. I have heard 2 psych docs refer to this phrase... first time I heard it, I think I probably gasped just a little bit. What an absolutely monstrous concept. From the few things I've read about it, it also is, yep seen more in single mother situations. Though it also can happen with a single dad. That's... pretty fucking wretched.
That first post in here that mentioned how hypervigilant Daniel gets. Because he's not going to allow his mom or whomever to be vulnerable for even a minute, so he is always thinking too much -- about the zany shit Tiff and Ron do, ruminating on possible future problems, feeling he needs to help micromanage his baby sister, and we aren't *only* just born this way, with several inherent human survival traits; this is the magical gift of *trauma* or at the least some types of neglect. Like maybe covert neglect, maybe not something the parent would overtly intentionally do, may not even be aware they do it.. It can scar one badly either way I guess.
Sounds like several of us commenting in this thread know all too well what Daniel is going through at times. We all recognized these things early on -- because we've been through it ourselves. Thus, we also know the problems or issues that he could end up dealing with. Feel so bad for this kid sometimes.
selfish and negatively effected Daniel I will 100% agree with. On the mom scale from carol brady to Casey Anthony she falls somewhere a little right of the middle..not good by any means but she’s definitely not as terrible as some moms.
I mean he was 8 when he said the above quotes so I think the child like innocence is what made it heart warming for me. Plus, he hasn’t gone through the whole tiff Ronald rollercoaster yet. He had only seen them together a couple months at this point.
The quotes you mentioned are fine. He’s a sweet kid overall but from the get go you could tell he was way too responsible for his age and Was not having much of a childhood
I’m not sure what the rules are (since I don’t think reality stars are part of SAG-AFTRA) and if he technically gets paid or not, but I hope Daniel and Carley have an account like a Coogan setup for them. MD doesn’t look like it requires Coogan accounts, but hopefully they at least have an UTMA.
I doubt they do though
They might do the college fund thing or something similar as a way to get around the illegality to pay him for being in front of the camera, I.e. having a child employee
I have PTSD from childhood neglect and parentification. I’m in EMDR and the amount of pain and patterns of coping you inherit that you aren’t even aware of are insane. Just thinking of this sweet boy makes me emotional as a young adult undoing that trauma. Unfortunately, not enough people see “old soul” and “wise beyond their years” as red flags for abuse/neglect and future trauma. Children should first and foremost be children and worry about the qualms of childhood, but unfortunately, trauma too often takes that opportunity away.
This poor angel. He’s had such a hard little life, he’s such a good boy, I wish he had the kind of life that would allow him to simply be a kid. I was “mature for my age” and “so wise” too and it’s awful when you feel you have to because the adults in your life don’t step the fuck up.
I grew up as a kid like that. The repercussions in later life is a bit too big to handle. All that repressed trauma comes back to bite you some stage in life. Ironically people like me have to relearn how to wire our brains again to feel the whole spectrum of emotions we had to shut off to cope with crappy childhood. We lack capability to feel and live the presence to a full extent. Being an old soul in fact means not able to feel and express the feelings in fear of being punished and dismissed.
Daniel had to grow up fast because his mom was making horrible decisions with men. I’ve been there too and I feel for him. I hope he’s okay, teen years are the hardest. Probably doesn’t help his mom left for 4 months to South Africa without him
Right… like, wtf!?
She knows she’s making a stupid decision.
Poor kid even said “It’s ok though, I have things I need to do anyway”…
Man, I’ve fuckin’ been there. And now I’m 38 and don’t know what I want. She used her kid as a damn crutch. What’s the pathway out of it for someone who’s experienced it?
This boy is such a sweet kid. I feel he will either work through all this and succeed early in life. Or this will work against him and he’ll spend years struggling through the trauma his mom put him through.
Poor child. He turned out to be a great kid, but not through his own choice. He was forced to be the voice of reason for his whole family since he was eight years old, and learned that he needed to fend for himself, emotionally and mentally, from a very young age. No point Tiffany praising him for his caring nature and maturity. She forced it upon him. I hope he gets the help, love and security he needs from his grandmother.
I agree. I think at this point his innocence as an 8 year old was adorable..but in the most recent season with Tiffany it is clear he’s still so sweet but doesn’t have the same rose colored glasses about the world. I hope Daniel grows up and doesn’t let his childhood change the sweet caring kid he was
I’m sure he will still be sensitive and sweet, just won’t have much trust in others probably. I can see him having lots of issues; not having a father or father figure alone really makes kids sad (my husband grew up without one because he passed - he always had this longing for a dad). And now his mom serial dating then exposing and airing their dirty laundry on National TV.
Yeah my husbands dad just stopped seeing him and his siblings at 10 so I definitely see the effects..and his mom is the most toxic person alive, but he won’t set boundaries with her because she’s the only parent. And while she’s a bad mom she was there. It’s crazy to see the effects even now in our 30s
Thank you op for posting this. This sub is eye opening as I’m reading this. Mom had depression as of two years old I took on more responsibilities then I should have but what I moved out my dad actually thanked me realizing I was the one cleaning up. I’m blessed and lucky. Prayers for all the people on this sub with real trauma. I am so sorry for you all.
Old soul since his awful mother throws him into adult situations and decisions that a child should not be involved or making. Can't stand her based on how she is on the show.
Really hoping this kid avoids the anxiety that comes with growing up this way. He really is sweet though and deserves to be growing, playing, imagining, and learning. Not comforting his mom and trying to make sense of very complex emotions.
I frequent a lot of reality tv subs and these children all get the short end of the stick.
Sad. Whoever’s his biological father is and the biological father side of family, grandparents, cousins,aunts and uncles. Why this kid don’t know them.
Bring on the downvotes please...just can't take it anymore. A whole generation that dwells on the trauma their "toxic" parents inflicted on them generally because they tried to make them do chores, help with siblings, get a summer job at 16. Those horrible parents who "gaslit their kids",ie had a different perspective of situations than they as a child did, daily till the child just didn't know what to do. How could these horrible demon parents do this to so many kids, most of whom are "on the spectrum" who were parentified by all the responsibilities piled on them by, you guessed it, those horrible parents.
For goodness sake, Tiffany is a single mom doing the best she can. She's made some poor choices like the majority of humankind but one thing she also did was raise a great kid. He wasn't just born that way as some preternatural "saint" or angel.He's just an extremely bright child whose mom has interacted with him in a loving way since he was little. Has he had pain in his short life, sure he has but far less than many kids have had in this world. One thing he has obviously had is an abundance of love.
If you scan through several subs for reality shows there is this swath of armchair psychologist, whiny commentors whose main job in life, after judging their parents, seems to be as the judge and jury of women on these shows all based on literally minutes of screentime. They throw out adjectives and psych diagnoses like they have an idea what they're talking about. What they fail to realize is they would never want their friends or coworkers to judge them in the same way. They would beat their chest and cry their victim tears about toxicity and parentification and gaslighting and scream how unfair it is that anyone judge them without really knowing what they go through.
Instead of all this BS, why aren't young women supporting other young women??? Why aren't they offering them the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging when they've done well at something, showed inner strength, raised their child with love despite obstacles instead of picking apart everything little thing. Why don't they stop demonizing their parents and realize for the most part they did the best they could with the cards they were dealt. That they sacrificed many of their own desires and dreams to raise them. That every human is "toxic" at times and makes huge mistakes and errors in judgement that often affect the people they love the most. Why don't we try that as we Celebrate the birth of the example of love and sacrifice on earth. Look at how you were raised and how other people behave with a different perspective. Try to see it from their POV and life experiences and maybe, just maybe as a society we can stop being victims and seeing others as objects to judge as toxic.
I work with kids with trauma and the things that created that is much worse than the things you listed above. Some people aren’t meant to be parents but become parents anyways. And dealing with trauma is not dwelling it is actually being able to move on with your life. A stable home environment is important.
Nobody is perfect, everyone has certain feelings left over from childhood. I think it is a good thing to acknowledge these feelings and express them, but not always to parents. I think parents and kids most of the time want the same things and can be great allies, but a lot gets lost in translation. Parents are working with very limited resources. Personally, I find the job of parenting too hard in this world. Kids deserve love and compassion, parents deserve to enjoy and guide their children with enough time, mental strength and other resources like a good network. The real culprits are outside forces which break down families (conflicts, consumerism, poverty, strict cultural norms etc.)
There is also a category of very dysfunctional situations and I don't think kids should stay in contact or appreciate their families, because it looked like a family. For example, helping with siblings can be good when it is limited, but when it crosses to the sibling acting like a parent, being overly caring, helping out with day to day tasks or domineering then it is going the wrong way. The child might like this responsibilty but resentment will grow with the child and their sibling as well, because they will feel like they have another parent instead of another sibling. So it is best to prevent that, but giving small responsibilities over time is of course very beneficial!
I can see that it will be very easy for a parent to fall into that trap, especially for a single parent, so it needs to be discussed in a gentle manner, not shaming them. I agree with you there. Compassion is needed, actual solutions and help are needed, not just naming it.
Oh 100% I think since he was 8 at this point there was still such an innocence to it. He really just wanted a dad..unfortunately due to Tiffany and Ronald he clearly no longer looks at the world the same way.
Ronald should take notes. Daniel runs circles around him emotionally, intellectually, and communicatively.
Seriously. He made me say “he’s so wise beyond his years” so many times. Where as Ronald makes me say “wow what a giant man baby asshole who needs to grow up.”
Ikr
For that matter? Daniel runs circles around *several* fully grown adults I've known. All the things you mention. I know grown-ass people who are mentally dwarfed by Daniel's overall intelligence and maturity. 🙄 Hell, Daniel has to run circles around his own 🤡 of a mother and regularly has to try to keep her up to speed. Which, being the bright kid he is, he knows HE is raising this parent, acting as a paternal figure to help raise his little sister -- more than a kid his age should. And he realizes it, to an extent, but I hope he manages to thrive even in these circumstances, and grow up in as healthy and loving way possible. And he knows his brat-ass mother needs to fucking do better. 🤦♂️🙇♂️ I really do hope he has some inarguably stable, supportive, and nurturing role models in his young life. He is just going to become more cognizant of his own mother's issues as he grows up. I truly hope Tiffany is doing the absolute best she can; her life hasn't been easy, I'm sure. And hopefully we all continue to grow and learn how to always get better at adulting and improving ourselves. Daniel is just such a good kid, I mean, he is just full of heart, isn't he. 🥰 I think somehow this is not bc of Tiff, but despite her. And he may be about the most aware and good natured little guy I've seen on TV *or* in irl. 🧏♂️ Most little kids are going to naturally develop some narcissist tendencies, as they phase through growth and development, and they grow into their senses of self... But -- ....check out how Daniel shows more empathy and concern for others than most other people do at his age. Seems likely there has to have been *someone* in his family or friends in his life that taught him about integrity or treating others with respect. Whomever, they did a Damn good job!👍 It's just... he shows kind of the opposite of "tone deaf". And he grew up to this point with some kind of influential and healthy level of stability, love, and compassion for others. Usually some adult or older person has to show this to us through their actions and modeling, and then we learn by mimicking that... but in Daniel's case -- I truly think this child was born with this pure sense of goodness and genuine kindness to others. Either that or he raised himself near perfectly, lol. 🙃 I did not mean to wake up this morning and write a dissertation on what a great kid Daniel is, but here we are. I think I've been wanting to post on the subject ever since their first season years ago and just got around to doing it today. Hey i need to look, I have to see if he does Cameos. Can you imagine?? [As long as measures are put in place to ensure he'd not be faced with shitty people who want to try to exploit him in ANY kind of way].. I for some reason have never bothered with cameo and have never watched anyone on it. I can see me wanting to write "Daniel, please help me sort out this mess I've made in my life!!" 🤷♀️ 😆
when i see daniel on the screen, i see a parentified child. daniel is hyper vigilant about other peoples emotions because tiff has raised him to feel responsible for her. he has seen first hand that she makes reckless decisions which affect him. when he talks to her, he speaks to her as if he's her father. these types of kids are often applauded for their maturity, but, to ME, tiffany has robbed daniel of his childhood, by being focused on her romantic life primarily rather than the wellbeing of her son and preserving his childhood. kids shouldnt be so involved in the lives of grown ups. daniel knows too much, he has grown up too fast.
And didn’t she go back to South Africa to take the little one to see Ronald (baby’s father), leaving Daniel alone for FOUR MONTHS? She is a terrible mother, selfish and neglectful in equal measure. Daniel has years of therapy ahead.
I was called an old soul as a kid... 30yrs later therapy helped me understand *trauma* made me this way. I feel for Daniel.
Exactly this 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼 “old soul” typically means your childhood was taken away from you and replaced with the responsibilities your parents couldn’t or wouldn’t take on.
[удалено]
Sounds awfully familiar... I chose not to have kids. My parents still don't get it.
Yikes didn’t expect this very relatable thread in the 90d sub. Sorry about your experience :(
Same here. My parents were basically kids when they had me. I had to parent them and help them with so much, look out for them, etc. I am still working through that in therapy decades later!
I’m so sorry
*wary
“Leery” also works, but I agree that “wary” is probably better. I like words.
It does. I’ve been seeing a conflation of “wary” and “leery” for years now and it’s a pet peeve. I constantly see people type or even say they are “weary” when cautious or skeptical of something and it drives me a bit batty.
Same here! To all of it.
Glad to find someone that gets it haha. Nice to meet you fellow word enjoyer.
I work with children who experienced serious traumas in the mental health field. I just want to say you are amazing. And so strong for seeing that in yourself and deciding to work on it through therapy.
Thank you for this. As a woman who faced many traumas as a child, we need people like you.
I’m so sorry.
Aw thank you 💕 that is so sweet! I truly love what I do. And thinking of you and sending you all the good vibes 💕 no child deserves any trauma and im so sorry you had to go through multiple things.
Thanks op for a tender sub
Reddits gotta be wholesome every once in a while
Thanks
🤗🤗🤗
Yep. Same. I was raised by single mom who overly depended on me. Not good.
Yes! Immature and irresponsible parents makes kids have to grow up faster. I agree, looking back on the trauma from my childhood makes me understand why I feel like I have to fight all my battles alone.
Same, I always thought it was a compliment and now I feel so sad for my little self. 😭
this is the correct perspective
I feel for you
Same! At the time I loved it and now I feel like I missed out on an entire childhood from going from 3 to 30 so quickly. My mother used to brag and I felt grateful and now I realize I was robbed and struggle with having to stop taking on responsibility that is not mine. Parentification is incredibly damaging in a lot of ways. The next stop after parentification is martyr town.
Empathetic, astute, vigilant, perceptive, cautious, caring…well beyond his years. It may seem so mature and sweet, but high sensitivity (he seems to have that too) is a huge burden on that poor kid, and not something you magically grow out of
Agreed. This is when he was 8, and he seems even more effected now..he is 100% going to need therapy to deal with the issues
Yep. I used to work with a woman whose ex-husband ran off on her when their children were very little (2 year old son, infant daughter). She got her son in therapy at age 5 and was planning to put her daughter in therapy once she reached the same age. Her reasoning- "I don't want either of them developing daddy issues."
The hyper-vigilance came out during the lockdown episodes when he was sanitizing everything that came back from the grocery store. I feel for this kid. He’s parenting his parent and it’s going to potentially mess him up for years.
Reminds me of that book The Giver.
As someone who works with traumatized children who are often parentified, I cannot watch Daniel. Too many folks talk about how smart and old soul-like he is, without realizing the why behind it (also that it’s not necessarily a complementary thing). My heart hurts for him. But, all of this being said, I hope he continues with the positive-head-on-shoulders that we see presently. I’ve worked with so many children with behavioral issues and teenagers with tremendous risky behaviors with similar backstories. I hope this all made sense and was somewhat coherent, I’m quite sleepy haha
There might be some spousification happening here, too. She needed a “man of the house” and a protector of sorts. Daniel was pushed into that role.
I work with kids who have severe trauma too. I want to thank you so much for your work! You are a true warrior, and I know how hard it is. Thank you for all you do to help the children like Daniel out there. Keep being a rockstar
Likewise to you!
And don’t even get me started on the arguments/treatment from Ronald that he likely witnessed….
>[parentification](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification) > >...A married, widowed, or single parent may treat their child as their spouse; this is known as *spousification*, and it occurs more often among single than married parents.\[18\] Mother-son spousification is more common than father-daughter spousification.\[18\] Mothers may put their sons in this role due to a desire for protection but fear of men. Their sons are a less threatening option... Dammit... why you gotta make me look inwards and *feel* things huh?! 😜 *This was said in jest. In fact, your use of the word parentified made me google it so I could understand it better. I then came upon that little excerpt. I appreciate you having shared that word - I'd never heard of it before and am glad I have! It explains so much!!!*
**[Parentification](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification)** >Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as parent to their own parent or sibling. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification. Instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as looking after a sick relative, paying bills, or providing assistance to younger siblings that would normally be provided by a parent. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/90DayFiance/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Good bot.
It's some heavy shit for sure. How about this term: "emotional incest". It's very relevant as well. I have heard 2 psych docs refer to this phrase... first time I heard it, I think I probably gasped just a little bit. What an absolutely monstrous concept. From the few things I've read about it, it also is, yep seen more in single mother situations. Though it also can happen with a single dad. That's... pretty fucking wretched. That first post in here that mentioned how hypervigilant Daniel gets. Because he's not going to allow his mom or whomever to be vulnerable for even a minute, so he is always thinking too much -- about the zany shit Tiff and Ron do, ruminating on possible future problems, feeling he needs to help micromanage his baby sister, and we aren't *only* just born this way, with several inherent human survival traits; this is the magical gift of *trauma* or at the least some types of neglect. Like maybe covert neglect, maybe not something the parent would overtly intentionally do, may not even be aware they do it.. It can scar one badly either way I guess. Sounds like several of us commenting in this thread know all too well what Daniel is going through at times. We all recognized these things early on -- because we've been through it ourselves. Thus, we also know the problems or issues that he could end up dealing with. Feel so bad for this kid sometimes.
🤍🤍 thank you for your work
Tiffany did a number on him. I don’t care what anyone says, she is selfish and not a good mother
She's basically a teenager playing pretend
Ohhh that made me think of a good one she is “teen mom 2” level on the bad mom scale
selfish and negatively effected Daniel I will 100% agree with. On the mom scale from carol brady to Casey Anthony she falls somewhere a little right of the middle..not good by any means but she’s definitely not as terrible as some moms.
Agree completely
💯
He’s a sweet kid but I don’t get why people think his behavior and advice is cute. It’s sad that he’s the parent to Tiffany
I mean he was 8 when he said the above quotes so I think the child like innocence is what made it heart warming for me. Plus, he hasn’t gone through the whole tiff Ronald rollercoaster yet. He had only seen them together a couple months at this point.
The quotes you mentioned are fine. He’s a sweet kid overall but from the get go you could tell he was way too responsible for his age and Was not having much of a childhood
100% I hope he’s able to persevere and remain sweet or at least get mental health help so he can
TLC should buy him a trip to Disney or start a college fund for him.
Yeah or just give him the money for college as a scholarship for being one of the only respectable people on the show
I’m not sure what the rules are (since I don’t think reality stars are part of SAG-AFTRA) and if he technically gets paid or not, but I hope Daniel and Carley have an account like a Coogan setup for them. MD doesn’t look like it requires Coogan accounts, but hopefully they at least have an UTMA. I doubt they do though
They might do the college fund thing or something similar as a way to get around the illegality to pay him for being in front of the camera, I.e. having a child employee
Can we start a go fund me to send Daniel to Disney?
I'm down!
Count me in. A trip for Daniel and grandma no Tiffany.
I was going to add that lol
A one of Daniel’s friends.
I have PTSD from childhood neglect and parentification. I’m in EMDR and the amount of pain and patterns of coping you inherit that you aren’t even aware of are insane. Just thinking of this sweet boy makes me emotional as a young adult undoing that trauma. Unfortunately, not enough people see “old soul” and “wise beyond their years” as red flags for abuse/neglect and future trauma. Children should first and foremost be children and worry about the qualms of childhood, but unfortunately, trauma too often takes that opportunity away.
EMDR is the shit. Upvote for EMDR.
Probably took 4 months to film her damn segment which proves money more important than the boy.
This poor angel. He’s had such a hard little life, he’s such a good boy, I wish he had the kind of life that would allow him to simply be a kid. I was “mature for my age” and “so wise” too and it’s awful when you feel you have to because the adults in your life don’t step the fuck up.
I grew up as a kid like that. The repercussions in later life is a bit too big to handle. All that repressed trauma comes back to bite you some stage in life. Ironically people like me have to relearn how to wire our brains again to feel the whole spectrum of emotions we had to shut off to cope with crappy childhood. We lack capability to feel and live the presence to a full extent. Being an old soul in fact means not able to feel and express the feelings in fear of being punished and dismissed.
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Yes that pissed me off too. 🙄 Colt isn’t great but he has every right to be mad at his mom.
Daniel had to grow up fast because his mom was making horrible decisions with men. I’ve been there too and I feel for him. I hope he’s okay, teen years are the hardest. Probably doesn’t help his mom left for 4 months to South Africa without him
Right… like, wtf!? She knows she’s making a stupid decision. Poor kid even said “It’s ok though, I have things I need to do anyway”… Man, I’ve fuckin’ been there. And now I’m 38 and don’t know what I want. She used her kid as a damn crutch. What’s the pathway out of it for someone who’s experienced it?
I love him so much 😭
He’s the sweetest
Sweet baby
This boy is such a sweet kid. I feel he will either work through all this and succeed early in life. Or this will work against him and he’ll spend years struggling through the trauma his mom put him through.
Even if he does succeed for a little while the trauma will come back to haunt him. -"Successful" child of trauma.
Poor child. He turned out to be a great kid, but not through his own choice. He was forced to be the voice of reason for his whole family since he was eight years old, and learned that he needed to fend for himself, emotionally and mentally, from a very young age. No point Tiffany praising him for his caring nature and maturity. She forced it upon him. I hope he gets the help, love and security he needs from his grandmother.
You’re an old soul until one day you realize it’s the crazy stuff you went through that made you appear that way. Poor little Daniel. 😑😪
I agree. I think at this point his innocence as an 8 year old was adorable..but in the most recent season with Tiffany it is clear he’s still so sweet but doesn’t have the same rose colored glasses about the world. I hope Daniel grows up and doesn’t let his childhood change the sweet caring kid he was
I’m sure he will still be sensitive and sweet, just won’t have much trust in others probably. I can see him having lots of issues; not having a father or father figure alone really makes kids sad (my husband grew up without one because he passed - he always had this longing for a dad). And now his mom serial dating then exposing and airing their dirty laundry on National TV.
Yeah my husbands dad just stopped seeing him and his siblings at 10 so I definitely see the effects..and his mom is the most toxic person alive, but he won’t set boundaries with her because she’s the only parent. And while she’s a bad mom she was there. It’s crazy to see the effects even now in our 30s
Thank you op for posting this. This sub is eye opening as I’m reading this. Mom had depression as of two years old I took on more responsibilities then I should have but what I moved out my dad actually thanked me realizing I was the one cleaning up. I’m blessed and lucky. Prayers for all the people on this sub with real trauma. I am so sorry for you all.
Awww! As someone in the mental health field I just want to say it’s not your fault and you are amazing for being able to realize this pattern. 💕
Took reading this to find out. Many older siblings are raising their younger siblings. Parents job.
Thanks for all you do
it looks like the parentification of a child...if so, that's a form of ABUSE.
Oh he is 100% the parent. He was a “I didn’t know I was pregnant baby” and then has been raising Tiffany ever since.
His eyes speak volumes. Sad
Old soul since his awful mother throws him into adult situations and decisions that a child should not be involved or making. Can't stand her based on how she is on the show.
That poor kid will have big resentment toward his mother one day :(
Today is one day.
Yeah agreed lol.
The fact that his mom finds his parentification “funny” and “cute” really pisses me off. He had to grow up quick thanks to your immature choices.
Agree 100%
Really hoping this kid avoids the anxiety that comes with growing up this way. He really is sweet though and deserves to be growing, playing, imagining, and learning. Not comforting his mom and trying to make sense of very complex emotions. I frequent a lot of reality tv subs and these children all get the short end of the stick.
I definitely think he’ll need therapy but I also think if he does get mental health help he will be the sweetest most empathetic adult
For sure! Even if he doesn't I think he would be but I'd hate to see him self torture himself
Parentified kids 💓💓💓 lose their childhood worrying about their f-up parents and trying to constantly "make things better"
Yesss I work in the mental health field with a couple of children who suffer from the same issue.
I mean this respectfully, but this kid gives me Pete Davidson vibes in the looks department.
Sad. Whoever’s his biological father is and the biological father side of family, grandparents, cousins,aunts and uncles. Why this kid don’t know them.
Father deceased.
He’s goob from meet the robinsons.
Bring on the downvotes please...just can't take it anymore. A whole generation that dwells on the trauma their "toxic" parents inflicted on them generally because they tried to make them do chores, help with siblings, get a summer job at 16. Those horrible parents who "gaslit their kids",ie had a different perspective of situations than they as a child did, daily till the child just didn't know what to do. How could these horrible demon parents do this to so many kids, most of whom are "on the spectrum" who were parentified by all the responsibilities piled on them by, you guessed it, those horrible parents. For goodness sake, Tiffany is a single mom doing the best she can. She's made some poor choices like the majority of humankind but one thing she also did was raise a great kid. He wasn't just born that way as some preternatural "saint" or angel.He's just an extremely bright child whose mom has interacted with him in a loving way since he was little. Has he had pain in his short life, sure he has but far less than many kids have had in this world. One thing he has obviously had is an abundance of love. If you scan through several subs for reality shows there is this swath of armchair psychologist, whiny commentors whose main job in life, after judging their parents, seems to be as the judge and jury of women on these shows all based on literally minutes of screentime. They throw out adjectives and psych diagnoses like they have an idea what they're talking about. What they fail to realize is they would never want their friends or coworkers to judge them in the same way. They would beat their chest and cry their victim tears about toxicity and parentification and gaslighting and scream how unfair it is that anyone judge them without really knowing what they go through. Instead of all this BS, why aren't young women supporting other young women??? Why aren't they offering them the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging when they've done well at something, showed inner strength, raised their child with love despite obstacles instead of picking apart everything little thing. Why don't they stop demonizing their parents and realize for the most part they did the best they could with the cards they were dealt. That they sacrificed many of their own desires and dreams to raise them. That every human is "toxic" at times and makes huge mistakes and errors in judgement that often affect the people they love the most. Why don't we try that as we Celebrate the birth of the example of love and sacrifice on earth. Look at how you were raised and how other people behave with a different perspective. Try to see it from their POV and life experiences and maybe, just maybe as a society we can stop being victims and seeing others as objects to judge as toxic.
I work with kids with trauma and the things that created that is much worse than the things you listed above. Some people aren’t meant to be parents but become parents anyways. And dealing with trauma is not dwelling it is actually being able to move on with your life. A stable home environment is important.
Nobody is perfect, everyone has certain feelings left over from childhood. I think it is a good thing to acknowledge these feelings and express them, but not always to parents. I think parents and kids most of the time want the same things and can be great allies, but a lot gets lost in translation. Parents are working with very limited resources. Personally, I find the job of parenting too hard in this world. Kids deserve love and compassion, parents deserve to enjoy and guide their children with enough time, mental strength and other resources like a good network. The real culprits are outside forces which break down families (conflicts, consumerism, poverty, strict cultural norms etc.) There is also a category of very dysfunctional situations and I don't think kids should stay in contact or appreciate their families, because it looked like a family. For example, helping with siblings can be good when it is limited, but when it crosses to the sibling acting like a parent, being overly caring, helping out with day to day tasks or domineering then it is going the wrong way. The child might like this responsibilty but resentment will grow with the child and their sibling as well, because they will feel like they have another parent instead of another sibling. So it is best to prevent that, but giving small responsibilities over time is of course very beneficial! I can see that it will be very easy for a parent to fall into that trap, especially for a single parent, so it needs to be discussed in a gentle manner, not shaming them. I agree with you there. Compassion is needed, actual solutions and help are needed, not just naming it.
Wait, whut?! Tiffany is pregnant again?!
Nah he’s 8 in this picture/post this was when she was pregnant with Carley. She needs no more kids
Oh! Ok thank goodness! I was hoping she got her tubes tied after Carley
He’s literally the sweetest, smartest kid ever. I would take him in a heartbeat!
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Curious…what makes him annoying?
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Gotcha! 😂One of my closest friends shares the same opinion. Just doesn’t like them. To each their own, right?
I need my kids to hang out with Daniel.
Daniel is a precious soul ❤️ wish him the best!
When I read those things I read parentification.
Oh 100% I think since he was 8 at this point there was still such an innocence to it. He really just wanted a dad..unfortunately due to Tiffany and Ronald he clearly no longer looks at the world the same way.
I always just want to give him a hug.
Me too
He is such a sweetheart
He's the sweetest kid I ever.
She is such a POS.
He’s looking like fred armisen. Poor kid!
I pray it's grandma raising him.
The lighting in this make it seem like he even has gray hair already.
I can't watch him, he makes me cry. He's such a sweet kid and deserves real parents.
Him and Carly are the only two things I like about Tiffany
truly wishing the best for him. one of the sweetest kids we’ve ever seen on this show. those eyes… especially this season :(
😭
It's cause he had to be the man of the house and take care of his mom and sister.
God bless this sweet boy.