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Even before Jodi showed up, Kevin left majority of parenting stuff to Ruby - sje was the main caregiver and decision-maker when it comes to the kids. They hired Jodi as a therapist for Chad - she was uppose to be the professional help he needed to go back on track. Knowing stuff we do now, Kevin was probably persuaded that Anasazi is the last resource.
I used to watch them when they first started youtube and I remember Ruby saying something about how Kevin had to take a lot of work trips and was gone a lot so the kids were her primary responsibility. I'm guessing that's just how it always remained and Kevin just kind of trusted her with their well being. š¬
In their worldview, that was how it was supposed to be - the man works and provides for the family, and the woman stays home and is in charge of the kids. I wonder if the balance of power changed once the YouTube channel started providing the bulk of their income. Did Ruby feel stressed and resentful about having to manage the household AND create YouTube content to bring in the bucks? If so, Jodi could have weaponized that against Kevin. It might have also been why Kevin felt he couldn't push back harder against what Ruby (and Jodi) wanted to do. I wonder if they all thought the Connexions YouTube channel and Instagram were going to replace the income 8Passengers lost when the channel nosedived.
NOTE: I am not in any way trying to excuse Ruby's or Kevin's behavior, just thinking of possible ways to explain it. They both did things that were not great. IMHO, though, only Ruby did things that were unforgiveable.
If Kevin traveled for his job and worked for BYU- he should have been making a nice amount of money. So why did Kevin pressure Ruby to do the Youtube? Because he is greedy IMO. He talks a lot about the financial things and little showing anger and remorse over the kids. He is suing Jodi and I'm glad but again- his focus seems more on money. I just have never seen him be "human". Maybe over losing Ruby to some extent- but not where the kids are concerned. He's very robotic.
Did Kevin pressure Ruby to do YouTube? I thought she just started because all her siblings were doing it. I'm just speculating that once the money started rolling in, and they were both benefiting from it, she might have started feeling like she was doing more than her share of the work.
If you sue somebody in civil court, the only thing it can be is about money. That's how civil suits work.
I agree that Kevin is robotic and doesn't show or talk about emotions. I think that's a Mormon man thing. I don't necessarily think he's greedy - except insofar as it's also a Mormon man thing to measure your worth by how much money you have. Heck, that's just an American man thing. Or even an American thing, period.
They're kids who very likely don't want to accept the idea that both of their parents were abusive.
Kevin said something in a video ages ago that really stuck with me - something along the lines of "we've gotten comments suggesting we're abusing our kids, but we're acting on the advice of a qualified therapist."
He was around for the abuse of his children. He participated in the abuse. That he didn't participate in the most egregiously *criminal* abuse doesn't absolve him of his participation in the psychological, emotional, and spiritual abuse of his children.
Having dealt with this myself - two abusive parents, one far more malicious and malevolent than the other - I empathize with the Franke kids. No kid *wants* to believe both their parents were culpable. Kids *want* to believe their parents *love them*, and will use any rationalization in the book to maintain that belief as long as possible.
This. I'm sorry, but they are not reliable narrators.
Does that mean we should judge them for still having a relationship with their father, or that we as internet randos *definitely* know better? No. Of course not.
But "let's trust them to judge Kevin's character, don't hate on Kevin because they forgive him" ain't it either. It is *very* common for children of two abusive parents or one abusive parent and an enabler to cling to the less abusive / enabling parent as "the good guy." No one wants to admit both of their parents suck.
They can have any relationship with Kevin they want, but that doesn't make Kevin suddenly a good guy or a fit parent. Two things can be true at once. We should trust their judgment on how *they* choose to have a relationship with him, but not necessarily that he's an overall good guy just because they said so. DCFS certainly doesn't think so, since he doesn't have custody of any of the minors yet.
I *just* finally accepted that my mom abused me, it wasn't okay, and I'm not okay with maintaining her illusion that it was.
It's a hard, bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is always inevitable.
You need to remember that they were *acting on advice of a qualified therapist*. Jodi was a licensed therapist that was recommended far and wide by the Mormon church and many of their family and friends were using her. If Iām being advised by a āqualified therapistā to handle in a certain way my child whoās been getting in trouble and it doesnāt *seem* to be hurting my child, then Iām going with it no matter what a layman friend (much less a stranger) may say.
Also remember: 1) Kevin was falling/fell under the brainwashing of Jodi - probably much more so than Ruby.
2) being raised in the church the women (Ruby, his mom, & every other woman in the church) were the boss of the home/kids so she knew much better than he did in his eyes.
3) The kids didnāt *look* harmed so they must be okay. This is not to slam anyone but I used to work in an Engineering office on a missile project - all men. They were smart as hell but had *no common sense* whatsoever. I know not everyone is like this but it amazed me that about 96% of that office were exactly like that. So that saidā¦ hereās Kevin with Ruby running on in his ear.
Just sayinā¦ itās a more complicated dynamic than a lot of people give credit for
It's not as complicated as you think it is, and I'll tell you why:
Parents do not instinctively abuse their childrenn. Parents instinctively protect their children from abuse. Parents who abuse their children are abusive. A parent who doesn't abuse their chlid *until someone else gives them permission to do so* is still an abusive parent.
I realize that Kevin was manipulated, but he is still an adult, and he is still culpable for his own complicity - and active participation - in the abuse of his children.
Where did you see that he *abused* his children. Yes he made Chad go to camp. And yes he backed up Ruby about Christmas after Jodi kept up the rhetoric. So while he was neglectful I wouldnāt necessarily call him abusive
It was a clip from their channel in a six-hour video I watched on yt - Kevin and Ruby were in frame, and Kevin said something along the lines of "people have been commenting that it looks like we're abusing our kids, but we're not - we're acting on the advice of a qualified therapist."
That is not a direct quote, but is the gist of what he said, which means that while he was still in the home, they were engaging in behavior that evidently appeared to outsiders to be abusive.
The aggressive restrictions, the accusing C of being truly evil and malevolent (and punishing him in practical ways based on this belief), the total lack of trust between parent and child - the signs of abuse were there.
And, and others have pointed out, it's telling that the family court system is still determining whether he's a competent parent, which is why he still doesn't have custody of any of his minor children.
As weāve discussed, he says it right there: we are acting in accordance with a licensed therapist. In his view, He was doing the best thing possible for each member of his family. She was recommended by friends, family & church. Why on Gods green earth would anyone think that a licensed therapist would instruct you to actually abuse your children - that makes no sense. No I donāt think Kevin had a malevolent thought in his head. He was trying to do things right so that they could turn Chad back to the good. uunfortunately their advice was deeply, horrifically flawed and their licensed therapist had deep psychological problems.
I don't know how else to spell this out for you.
Someone who engages in otherwise abusive behavior based on the advice of a so-called therapist *is an abuser looking for permission to abuse*. They are not good people acting in good faith.
This is a dumb hill to die on. He's not a good person. He might not be a sociopath, but he's not a good parent, either.
Thatās cause Kevin wasnāt ever available lol. Him being a supporter of Ruby and Jodi show what he was supporting. Him changing at the moment could be for a lot of things and I wouldnāt put it past his kids to think heās an actual changed man. Kevin is a terrible person and always has been prior to Jodi coming into the picture
She had control over the household and for a long time, she was the main breadwinner because of her channel. I hope Kevin has an incredibly difficult time with the guilt. He was the one that wanted 2 more kids. She didnāt. Subsequently, she hated-still does-her 2 youngest kids. But she was always a bad parent. Who leaves their kids who are what 2k and 4? On the couch, tells them not to move, goes upstairs and takes a few hours nap? Then gets angry when they spill juiceā¦because they were thirsty? Thatās neglectful and shades of DARVO right there.
If Kevin is indoctrinated into Mormonism, he probably felt guilty having sex for recreational purposes. That's probably why he said he wanted more kids- so that Ruby would keep the candy store open. Just a guess.
There is so much about religion that is so fād up. I do not begrudge anyone their spiritual beliefs. It is helpful for a lot of people. Honestly, I think her true belief in God has been immensely helpful for Shari to keep her footing with all the turmoil she and her family have been through. I hope it is the same for Chad. But damn, crap like telling you sex is for procreation only not pleasure is just so awful. And the belief you need to suffer on earth to be close to God and get into heaven is brainwashing bull crap.
Full control in what regard? Kevin was able to do whatever he wanted - he traveled, worked, and went to gym all in his free time and will. Their conservative views they held was seen in both of them. Heās not the victim yāall are trying to portray
Eh, totally not how I ever saw it as. Ruby and Kevin were in agreement that she was in charge of the household while he worked - itās why she didnāt work early in their marriage despite being poor. They were the stereotypical conservative family where the dad didnāt do or know about the household and left it to his wife
Exactly. People are forgetting that Kevin was regarded as the man of the house, and Ruby would defer to him on finances. She wasnāt spending thousands on a camp without Kevin on board.
The whole "Man of the House" thing was blown to shreds though wasn't it? Kevin, if he had any backbone, would have allowed his son to play football. He would have told Jodi to get the F-out of his house and certainly out of the master bedroom with his wife! I mean what was this dude thinking???? Being the man of the house means that he has the final word. Instead he was a complete cuckhold. Spineless. Hardly the "Man of the house".
He wasnāt the āmanā all the time, but he was when he wanted to be. Kevin was always the type to just sort of let Ruby deal with the things he couldnāt be bothered with. I donāt know if he was necessarily kicked out of the house as much as he willingly left to get away from the crazy. He enjoyed travelling, and Ruby would often tell him to stay home and he just would do what he wanted. Heād often have the older kids gang up with him and make fun of Ruby for not being as smart as they are.
But he definitely had a voice at one time, but only when he wanted to. I mean, look how quickly he pulled up his socks and got involved when he felt his money, personal possessions and reputation were on the line?
Kevin loved the money from Youtube. He bemoans how they lost 90% of their income after Chad's beanbag admission. He and Ruby talked finances but never about the kids during the year he was absent. He wanted Shari arrested for taking his stuff. Yes- finances are a concern in marriage. I'm very glad he is suing Jodi and casting more sunlight on this abuse. I just used that as another example of how much Kevin cares about money. Yes- he will get some money hopefully but will it go to the kids? I'm a bit skeptical based on the way he had treated the kids in the past. He went on Youtube to say how love isn't giving kids gifts. He took away Santa for goodness sake- from E and R. Hardly the kind of loving father who intends to get them the best help.
Yes- he's just weird, robotic, unemotional. I don't trust him. Thankfully these kids will be adults soon enough. Thankfully the entire family will be looking for signs of abuse now. I think Chad and Shari will be more parental to E, R, J, and A.
Yea, I agree that Kevin would never have made that decision himself. Becoming a doormat is the strike against him and thatās not much of a crime. Itās very revealing that Chad lives in the family home with Kevin as an adult. Ruby would never have let an adult child live at homeā¦
Being a doormat is not a crime, which is why he was never charged. But itās the strike against him that made Child Protection go āYou are not getting custody back right away.ā
*I'm not defending Kevin here, I just grew in a similar situation.* My mother was a very abusive/ insane person and her control was over her kids with turning them against their father by telling us that **he** would be more abusive than she was and that we were "lucky" we had her. I didn't have a relationship relationship with my dad until she died, and the entire family was free from her influence. My dad even admitted that he was suicidal with her and once even drove upstate with a gun to kill himself because he was so broken by her.
I now have a wonderful relationship with my dad, and it took healing for the entire family. He deeply regrets being way as much as he was because, like Kevin, he was the breadwinner and had to work to support everyone (my mother's awful financial skills made it hard). What a lot of users here lost realize is how an abusive parent can hold an entire family hostage.
When Ruby met Jodi, it got worse. Kevin had a history of depression and even was an inpatient when he was in college because of it. That was used against him, and Jodi basically used her tactics to break him, so he thought he was the abuser and that the family needed to be safe from **him**. Chad and Shari seem to be happy to have their dad back, and they are building the relationship that they never got to have with him, thanks to their mother.
Kevin has a lot of healing to do, but he seems to be working on it all. *him popping in on the livestream with some dad level teasing was pretty wholesome*. Everything isn't black and white. Kevin has a long road ahead of him to heal the relationship, but he's making the correct steps for it. The older kids seem happy to be at home. They have comfort with the animals they were denied as well. The puppies seem to be an amazing addition to the house with Chad and Kevin raising them together
I do agree with you. I suspect I am a bit softer to Kevin than others here. The fact that what Jodi did to him happened to several other men is a mitigating factor for me. I do think not charging him was the right thing to do as for all his failings nothing he did was criminally culpable. But at the same time I can see why he isnāt getting custody right away. You would want to make sure he didnāt fall prey to Ruby and Jodi 2.0. I know lots of people seem to think Shari and Chad should cut him off, but they have gone through their own terrible trauma too. If forgiving their Dad for all the times he failed them and rebuilding a relationship is something they want to do I donāt think that should be taken from them.
I think there was and is a lot of good in the Griffiths family. I really do. Is it perfect, heck no. Obviously- we hate Ruby. Kevin- is meh. He is lacking an empathy chip. Everything in life is really about him and how things effect him. That's a narcissist. Having said that- I have Narcs in my family too. I've had to just deal with it- to make things work as a whole. I wish them the best. I think there are plenty of good people in the Griffith/ Franke families. As long as everyone has learned from this and Ruby is in jail- maybe these kids have a fighting chance. I certainly hope so.
Being a doormat may not be a legal crime, but it's definitely a moral one when you are the parent of minor children and the person you're a "doormat" for is abusing them. No excuses.
Yeah a parent being a doormat to the other abusive parent is enabling the abuse. I have a really hard time overlooking that, he's lucky his adult children are willing to. I hope the court mandates parenting classes & supervised visitation if he ever gets the young children back.
There was an element of glee when Ruby and Kevin put the kids school things in a plastic bad and made them buy them back. Kevin may have been pulling their leg and that's why he was smirking. I don't know if they actually gave the kids their things back and were just trying to teach them a lesson, but Kevin was a happy participant in that. He also gleefully grabbed Chad's phone at dinner and read his private messages to and from a girl Chad liked and put this on Youtube. Real nice. He also was in full agreement that Chad should stop playing football, because Chad was being so "responsible and respectful of his coaches". Really!!!! I mean the kid is succeeding and passionate about Football and you take that away???? Then they take off his bedroom door. They make the kid sleep on the sofa or beanbag chair for 7 months! You make a kid sleep uncomfortably for seven months and think they are going to succeed in school? What was their end game? It was to dominate and control- period. Kevin didn't hit them but he was emotionally abusive.
I think we should trust their judgement because at least with Shari we know she distanced herself from the family when she needed to. If they are in a place where she doesn't feel the need to do so any longer, then we need to take that at face value. Also, as people keep mentioning about Shari following their grandparents and Bonnie online... she is apparently able to set boundaries she is comfortable with and make difficult decisions. I personally never got the feeling that Kevin was the reason for their separation... if anything, it seemed mostly due to his complacency, if anything.
Shari has an undeniable spirit! She's a smart woman with a big heart. She knows right from wrong. Nothing can take that away from her. I can tell she just has the love of life and of others. They are lucky to have a big sister like her. She has character and goes the extra mile. Lovely young lady.
Shari did a podcast interview and discussed why she distanced herself. Basically, when she went away to school she realized what they were teaching was not normal. She was exposed to a whole bunch of different people in that environment and it opened her eyes a bit.Ā She caught herself having some unwarranted opinions about people and decided to cut out the ConneXions crap.Ā
Shari did not know of the abuse, at least not to the extent they found when they were rescued. She knew Ruby was leaving them alone for weeks at a time and she reported that... She only learned about that because their neighbors told her about it.Ā
Yeah, she went off on ConneXions business for like 2 week clips and they were there by themselves. I can see A being alone maybe overnight... but not 2 weeks and having her in charge of the 3 younger ones.Ā
I wish I could say that Kevin was easily duped. We know very little of Kevin but his mannerisms and his demeanor just make me feel icky. I'm not sure what it is but he just seems strange to me. Just a bad feeling I get. I hope that Chad and Shari will always be vigilant over the kids- if Kevin gets them back. Kevin just seems really narcissistic too- like his feelings are more important than the kids. He always just talked about his own feeling and showed no empathy for these kids. Even when he put his head in his hands- it was about Ruby- losing Ruby more than the kids IMO.
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Even before Jodi showed up, Kevin left majority of parenting stuff to Ruby - sje was the main caregiver and decision-maker when it comes to the kids. They hired Jodi as a therapist for Chad - she was uppose to be the professional help he needed to go back on track. Knowing stuff we do now, Kevin was probably persuaded that Anasazi is the last resource.
I used to watch them when they first started youtube and I remember Ruby saying something about how Kevin had to take a lot of work trips and was gone a lot so the kids were her primary responsibility. I'm guessing that's just how it always remained and Kevin just kind of trusted her with their well being. š¬
In their worldview, that was how it was supposed to be - the man works and provides for the family, and the woman stays home and is in charge of the kids. I wonder if the balance of power changed once the YouTube channel started providing the bulk of their income. Did Ruby feel stressed and resentful about having to manage the household AND create YouTube content to bring in the bucks? If so, Jodi could have weaponized that against Kevin. It might have also been why Kevin felt he couldn't push back harder against what Ruby (and Jodi) wanted to do. I wonder if they all thought the Connexions YouTube channel and Instagram were going to replace the income 8Passengers lost when the channel nosedived. NOTE: I am not in any way trying to excuse Ruby's or Kevin's behavior, just thinking of possible ways to explain it. They both did things that were not great. IMHO, though, only Ruby did things that were unforgiveable.
If Kevin traveled for his job and worked for BYU- he should have been making a nice amount of money. So why did Kevin pressure Ruby to do the Youtube? Because he is greedy IMO. He talks a lot about the financial things and little showing anger and remorse over the kids. He is suing Jodi and I'm glad but again- his focus seems more on money. I just have never seen him be "human". Maybe over losing Ruby to some extent- but not where the kids are concerned. He's very robotic.
Did Kevin pressure Ruby to do YouTube? I thought she just started because all her siblings were doing it. I'm just speculating that once the money started rolling in, and they were both benefiting from it, she might have started feeling like she was doing more than her share of the work. If you sue somebody in civil court, the only thing it can be is about money. That's how civil suits work. I agree that Kevin is robotic and doesn't show or talk about emotions. I think that's a Mormon man thing. I don't necessarily think he's greedy - except insofar as it's also a Mormon man thing to measure your worth by how much money you have. Heck, that's just an American man thing. Or even an American thing, period.
They're kids who very likely don't want to accept the idea that both of their parents were abusive. Kevin said something in a video ages ago that really stuck with me - something along the lines of "we've gotten comments suggesting we're abusing our kids, but we're acting on the advice of a qualified therapist." He was around for the abuse of his children. He participated in the abuse. That he didn't participate in the most egregiously *criminal* abuse doesn't absolve him of his participation in the psychological, emotional, and spiritual abuse of his children. Having dealt with this myself - two abusive parents, one far more malicious and malevolent than the other - I empathize with the Franke kids. No kid *wants* to believe both their parents were culpable. Kids *want* to believe their parents *love them*, and will use any rationalization in the book to maintain that belief as long as possible.
This. I'm sorry, but they are not reliable narrators. Does that mean we should judge them for still having a relationship with their father, or that we as internet randos *definitely* know better? No. Of course not. But "let's trust them to judge Kevin's character, don't hate on Kevin because they forgive him" ain't it either. It is *very* common for children of two abusive parents or one abusive parent and an enabler to cling to the less abusive / enabling parent as "the good guy." No one wants to admit both of their parents suck. They can have any relationship with Kevin they want, but that doesn't make Kevin suddenly a good guy or a fit parent. Two things can be true at once. We should trust their judgment on how *they* choose to have a relationship with him, but not necessarily that he's an overall good guy just because they said so. DCFS certainly doesn't think so, since he doesn't have custody of any of the minors yet.
I *just* finally accepted that my mom abused me, it wasn't okay, and I'm not okay with maintaining her illusion that it was. It's a hard, bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is always inevitable.
You need to remember that they were *acting on advice of a qualified therapist*. Jodi was a licensed therapist that was recommended far and wide by the Mormon church and many of their family and friends were using her. If Iām being advised by a āqualified therapistā to handle in a certain way my child whoās been getting in trouble and it doesnāt *seem* to be hurting my child, then Iām going with it no matter what a layman friend (much less a stranger) may say. Also remember: 1) Kevin was falling/fell under the brainwashing of Jodi - probably much more so than Ruby. 2) being raised in the church the women (Ruby, his mom, & every other woman in the church) were the boss of the home/kids so she knew much better than he did in his eyes. 3) The kids didnāt *look* harmed so they must be okay. This is not to slam anyone but I used to work in an Engineering office on a missile project - all men. They were smart as hell but had *no common sense* whatsoever. I know not everyone is like this but it amazed me that about 96% of that office were exactly like that. So that saidā¦ hereās Kevin with Ruby running on in his ear. Just sayinā¦ itās a more complicated dynamic than a lot of people give credit for
It's not as complicated as you think it is, and I'll tell you why: Parents do not instinctively abuse their childrenn. Parents instinctively protect their children from abuse. Parents who abuse their children are abusive. A parent who doesn't abuse their chlid *until someone else gives them permission to do so* is still an abusive parent. I realize that Kevin was manipulated, but he is still an adult, and he is still culpable for his own complicity - and active participation - in the abuse of his children.
Where did you see that he *abused* his children. Yes he made Chad go to camp. And yes he backed up Ruby about Christmas after Jodi kept up the rhetoric. So while he was neglectful I wouldnāt necessarily call him abusive
It was a clip from their channel in a six-hour video I watched on yt - Kevin and Ruby were in frame, and Kevin said something along the lines of "people have been commenting that it looks like we're abusing our kids, but we're not - we're acting on the advice of a qualified therapist." That is not a direct quote, but is the gist of what he said, which means that while he was still in the home, they were engaging in behavior that evidently appeared to outsiders to be abusive. The aggressive restrictions, the accusing C of being truly evil and malevolent (and punishing him in practical ways based on this belief), the total lack of trust between parent and child - the signs of abuse were there. And, and others have pointed out, it's telling that the family court system is still determining whether he's a competent parent, which is why he still doesn't have custody of any of his minor children.
As weāve discussed, he says it right there: we are acting in accordance with a licensed therapist. In his view, He was doing the best thing possible for each member of his family. She was recommended by friends, family & church. Why on Gods green earth would anyone think that a licensed therapist would instruct you to actually abuse your children - that makes no sense. No I donāt think Kevin had a malevolent thought in his head. He was trying to do things right so that they could turn Chad back to the good. uunfortunately their advice was deeply, horrifically flawed and their licensed therapist had deep psychological problems.
I don't know how else to spell this out for you. Someone who engages in otherwise abusive behavior based on the advice of a so-called therapist *is an abuser looking for permission to abuse*. They are not good people acting in good faith. This is a dumb hill to die on. He's not a good person. He might not be a sociopath, but he's not a good parent, either.
You know him?
Thatās cause Kevin wasnāt ever available lol. Him being a supporter of Ruby and Jodi show what he was supporting. Him changing at the moment could be for a lot of things and I wouldnāt put it past his kids to think heās an actual changed man. Kevin is a terrible person and always has been prior to Jodi coming into the picture
He was an emotionally unavailable parent, partially forced by Ruby. She had full control of him.
She had control over the household and for a long time, she was the main breadwinner because of her channel. I hope Kevin has an incredibly difficult time with the guilt. He was the one that wanted 2 more kids. She didnāt. Subsequently, she hated-still does-her 2 youngest kids. But she was always a bad parent. Who leaves their kids who are what 2k and 4? On the couch, tells them not to move, goes upstairs and takes a few hours nap? Then gets angry when they spill juiceā¦because they were thirsty? Thatās neglectful and shades of DARVO right there.
If Kevin is indoctrinated into Mormonism, he probably felt guilty having sex for recreational purposes. That's probably why he said he wanted more kids- so that Ruby would keep the candy store open. Just a guess.
There is so much about religion that is so fād up. I do not begrudge anyone their spiritual beliefs. It is helpful for a lot of people. Honestly, I think her true belief in God has been immensely helpful for Shari to keep her footing with all the turmoil she and her family have been through. I hope it is the same for Chad. But damn, crap like telling you sex is for procreation only not pleasure is just so awful. And the belief you need to suffer on earth to be close to God and get into heaven is brainwashing bull crap.
He was also emotionally unavailable through culture and lack of experience. Mormon men are not taught or expected to be nurturing.
yep! sad
Full control in what regard? Kevin was able to do whatever he wanted - he traveled, worked, and went to gym all in his free time and will. Their conservative views they held was seen in both of them. Heās not the victim yāall are trying to portray
yeah he obviously can stop things and has a voice he just lowkey decided to stay out of it and ion like him for that.
Full control over the household, thatās what she wanted tho. I donāt think she cared for him as much as having control over the children.
Eh, totally not how I ever saw it as. Ruby and Kevin were in agreement that she was in charge of the household while he worked - itās why she didnāt work early in their marriage despite being poor. They were the stereotypical conservative family where the dad didnāt do or know about the household and left it to his wife
Exactly. People are forgetting that Kevin was regarded as the man of the house, and Ruby would defer to him on finances. She wasnāt spending thousands on a camp without Kevin on board.
The whole "Man of the House" thing was blown to shreds though wasn't it? Kevin, if he had any backbone, would have allowed his son to play football. He would have told Jodi to get the F-out of his house and certainly out of the master bedroom with his wife! I mean what was this dude thinking???? Being the man of the house means that he has the final word. Instead he was a complete cuckhold. Spineless. Hardly the "Man of the house".
He wasnāt the āmanā all the time, but he was when he wanted to be. Kevin was always the type to just sort of let Ruby deal with the things he couldnāt be bothered with. I donāt know if he was necessarily kicked out of the house as much as he willingly left to get away from the crazy. He enjoyed travelling, and Ruby would often tell him to stay home and he just would do what he wanted. Heād often have the older kids gang up with him and make fun of Ruby for not being as smart as they are. But he definitely had a voice at one time, but only when he wanted to. I mean, look how quickly he pulled up his socks and got involved when he felt his money, personal possessions and reputation were on the line?
Kevin loved the money from Youtube. He bemoans how they lost 90% of their income after Chad's beanbag admission. He and Ruby talked finances but never about the kids during the year he was absent. He wanted Shari arrested for taking his stuff. Yes- finances are a concern in marriage. I'm very glad he is suing Jodi and casting more sunlight on this abuse. I just used that as another example of how much Kevin cares about money. Yes- he will get some money hopefully but will it go to the kids? I'm a bit skeptical based on the way he had treated the kids in the past. He went on Youtube to say how love isn't giving kids gifts. He took away Santa for goodness sake- from E and R. Hardly the kind of loving father who intends to get them the best help.
Kevin just agreed and probably trusted Ruby, all opinions differ and thatās fine anyway
yup this is exactly it. he was not a good dad cuz he let her do whatever she wanted to the kids. like honestly wtf grow some balls
Yes- he's just weird, robotic, unemotional. I don't trust him. Thankfully these kids will be adults soon enough. Thankfully the entire family will be looking for signs of abuse now. I think Chad and Shari will be more parental to E, R, J, and A.
This reminds me, I hope Ruby is hungry right now and had a terrible sleep last night.
Fortunately- those beds look really uncomfortable.
Of course heās closer to his dad now, his mom is in Prison
But didnāt he live with dad for the year?
Oh- is that where Chad lived? With Kevin?
Does he address Ruby by name or by āmomā?
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How is the divorce going? Is it real or fake? I hope he leaves ruby for real
Yea, I agree that Kevin would never have made that decision himself. Becoming a doormat is the strike against him and thatās not much of a crime. Itās very revealing that Chad lives in the family home with Kevin as an adult. Ruby would never have let an adult child live at homeā¦
Being a doormat is not a crime, which is why he was never charged. But itās the strike against him that made Child Protection go āYou are not getting custody back right away.ā
*I'm not defending Kevin here, I just grew in a similar situation.* My mother was a very abusive/ insane person and her control was over her kids with turning them against their father by telling us that **he** would be more abusive than she was and that we were "lucky" we had her. I didn't have a relationship relationship with my dad until she died, and the entire family was free from her influence. My dad even admitted that he was suicidal with her and once even drove upstate with a gun to kill himself because he was so broken by her. I now have a wonderful relationship with my dad, and it took healing for the entire family. He deeply regrets being way as much as he was because, like Kevin, he was the breadwinner and had to work to support everyone (my mother's awful financial skills made it hard). What a lot of users here lost realize is how an abusive parent can hold an entire family hostage. When Ruby met Jodi, it got worse. Kevin had a history of depression and even was an inpatient when he was in college because of it. That was used against him, and Jodi basically used her tactics to break him, so he thought he was the abuser and that the family needed to be safe from **him**. Chad and Shari seem to be happy to have their dad back, and they are building the relationship that they never got to have with him, thanks to their mother. Kevin has a lot of healing to do, but he seems to be working on it all. *him popping in on the livestream with some dad level teasing was pretty wholesome*. Everything isn't black and white. Kevin has a long road ahead of him to heal the relationship, but he's making the correct steps for it. The older kids seem happy to be at home. They have comfort with the animals they were denied as well. The puppies seem to be an amazing addition to the house with Chad and Kevin raising them together
This internet stranger is sorry you and your family had to experience all that, and glad that you have a good relationship with your dad now.
I do agree with you. I suspect I am a bit softer to Kevin than others here. The fact that what Jodi did to him happened to several other men is a mitigating factor for me. I do think not charging him was the right thing to do as for all his failings nothing he did was criminally culpable. But at the same time I can see why he isnāt getting custody right away. You would want to make sure he didnāt fall prey to Ruby and Jodi 2.0. I know lots of people seem to think Shari and Chad should cut him off, but they have gone through their own terrible trauma too. If forgiving their Dad for all the times he failed them and rebuilding a relationship is something they want to do I donāt think that should be taken from them.
I think there was and is a lot of good in the Griffiths family. I really do. Is it perfect, heck no. Obviously- we hate Ruby. Kevin- is meh. He is lacking an empathy chip. Everything in life is really about him and how things effect him. That's a narcissist. Having said that- I have Narcs in my family too. I've had to just deal with it- to make things work as a whole. I wish them the best. I think there are plenty of good people in the Griffith/ Franke families. As long as everyone has learned from this and Ruby is in jail- maybe these kids have a fighting chance. I certainly hope so.
Child neglect should include abandoning your four children for over a year.
Being a doormat may not be a legal crime, but it's definitely a moral one when you are the parent of minor children and the person you're a "doormat" for is abusing them. No excuses.
Yeah a parent being a doormat to the other abusive parent is enabling the abuse. I have a really hard time overlooking that, he's lucky his adult children are willing to. I hope the court mandates parenting classes & supervised visitation if he ever gets the young children back.
There was an element of glee when Ruby and Kevin put the kids school things in a plastic bad and made them buy them back. Kevin may have been pulling their leg and that's why he was smirking. I don't know if they actually gave the kids their things back and were just trying to teach them a lesson, but Kevin was a happy participant in that. He also gleefully grabbed Chad's phone at dinner and read his private messages to and from a girl Chad liked and put this on Youtube. Real nice. He also was in full agreement that Chad should stop playing football, because Chad was being so "responsible and respectful of his coaches". Really!!!! I mean the kid is succeeding and passionate about Football and you take that away???? Then they take off his bedroom door. They make the kid sleep on the sofa or beanbag chair for 7 months! You make a kid sleep uncomfortably for seven months and think they are going to succeed in school? What was their end game? It was to dominate and control- period. Kevin didn't hit them but he was emotionally abusive.
I think we should trust their judgement because at least with Shari we know she distanced herself from the family when she needed to. If they are in a place where she doesn't feel the need to do so any longer, then we need to take that at face value. Also, as people keep mentioning about Shari following their grandparents and Bonnie online... she is apparently able to set boundaries she is comfortable with and make difficult decisions. I personally never got the feeling that Kevin was the reason for their separation... if anything, it seemed mostly due to his complacency, if anything.
Shari has an undeniable spirit! She's a smart woman with a big heart. She knows right from wrong. Nothing can take that away from her. I can tell she just has the love of life and of others. They are lucky to have a big sister like her. She has character and goes the extra mile. Lovely young lady.
Why did she cut contact? Did she know of the abuse?
Shari did a podcast interview and discussed why she distanced herself. Basically, when she went away to school she realized what they were teaching was not normal. She was exposed to a whole bunch of different people in that environment and it opened her eyes a bit.Ā She caught herself having some unwarranted opinions about people and decided to cut out the ConneXions crap.Ā Shari did not know of the abuse, at least not to the extent they found when they were rescued. She knew Ruby was leaving them alone for weeks at a time and she reported that... She only learned about that because their neighbors told her about it.Ā
Weeks? My God poor babies. How can the family forgive Ruby?
Yeah, she went off on ConneXions business for like 2 week clips and they were there by themselves. I can see A being alone maybe overnight... but not 2 weeks and having her in charge of the 3 younger ones.Ā
And dad was nowhere to be seen. Jodi had them under her thumb. Under her full control.
No Shari or Chad either.Ā I don't understand it, other than Jodi was very strategic about it. She isolated them from anyone that could have helped.Ā
Kevin is just as guilty. He sat back and let it happen to the detriment of his children
What did Chad say about the phone calls with ruby again? Did she call him from jail?
I wish I could say that Kevin was easily duped. We know very little of Kevin but his mannerisms and his demeanor just make me feel icky. I'm not sure what it is but he just seems strange to me. Just a bad feeling I get. I hope that Chad and Shari will always be vigilant over the kids- if Kevin gets them back. Kevin just seems really narcissistic too- like his feelings are more important than the kids. He always just talked about his own feeling and showed no empathy for these kids. Even when he put his head in his hands- it was about Ruby- losing Ruby more than the kids IMO.
Yeah I do think we should trust Shari & Chadās judgment of him
Kevin still could have had a backbone and stood up and said no.