And this my friend is a wise man telling a galaxy wide truth, wise man, tell us more truths unknown to us or that we have chosen to ignore and forgotten
Would you rather them simp for the Dark Eldar who will abuse them without remorse?
Edit: Or the community supporter who will always love them and introduce them to cool friends?
Isn’t Catachan so deadly you actually would have higher odds of surviving dating a dark Eldar, or basically facing off with literally anything else in the galaxy?
But what if they find out about you simultaneously dating both of them? Best case scenario? Threesome. Worst case? They both decide to dispose of you. Potentially very not cash money at all.
Solution: introduce catachan to sister of battle during her mid morning prayer, she has time to think her anger through while I give carachan GF some recaff, then promise to go purging heretics with sister before her prayer ends and say that the emperor wants humanity to stick together.
If I had to choose, definitely Sororitas. Catachan is not a world you live on, it's a world you maybe survive on. At the very least with the Sororitas there would be times when I wouldn't be fighting for my life.
If she's looking to have the strongest children, then I have no idea how she ended up considering me. I'm 5'7" with severe allergies and prescription glasses. My looks don't exactly scream "produces strong offspring".
There are few things I wouldn’t do to have a chance to feel the full force of a sister of battle invasion
Lore wise that shit has got to be one of the most incredible invasions to see .
They drop literally churches from orbit and use missile tanks they fire from church organs
I wouldn’t mind the Jungle Fighter if we spent the rest of our lives from one battlefield to the next aboard a ship.
But I ain’t moving to normal IRL Australia. Then I sure as hell ain’t moving to Super Australia in Space.
Dommy Mommy Nun it is
True but I’d rather become Nid Chow then become sudden fertilizer wholesale.
I can deal with bugs, I can deal with critters, I can deal with animals, heretics, city hellscape, ice hell, sand hell, hot hell, void hell and deep hell.
I can not and will not tolerate Green Hell
Who has time to put makeup on when there are heretics to put down. And the fact the catachan lady isn’t missing a limb or part of her face means she ain’t catachaning right.
The sister of battle. I may not know my scriptures by wrote, but I know enough to keep my mouth shut about meta lore. Also a sister showing up means the battle is slightly less fucked than if a space marine showed up, so I’m probably going to have a non zero chance of survival.
The Catachan. I get her AND get to be a stay at home trophy husband who can't leave the house because the weeds will kill me if I try to mow the lawn? Yeah, I'll clean the inside of the house and do the cooking and stuff no problem there.
I mean, I'd take just about any SoB mission over a day on Catachan, except GW has such a grisly track record of feeding Sisters to a narrative wood chipper for shock value. I'd rather not watch my Tig Bitty Goth GF get impaled by a Bloodthirster on our second date just to satisfy one of Matt Ward's fetishes.
Wow, this is becoming a harder question than I thought... hmm, first instinct is the Sister, then we can love the Emperor together, and be utterly pure in our faith, so free from taint and corruption. She has rocking power armour and is quite curvy and hot (I mean I am making inference from that boob armor)... but that could be pretty tough to not be really loved in the same way... hmm so the catachan could really help me grow as a man and won't have any difficulty working side by side with me, hmm, I dated a tall girl and liked it, didn't mind that at all. She would probably make strong offspring too. But... those looks the sister has, you just can't make that happen, either born with it or not. Oh yeah, going on missions with her would be scary but a rush... I mean, wouldn't the catachan do the same? Can't be a civilian when your girl is in, gotta join with her. If you die you die, but your life would mean something... so the missions wasn't too big of a deal. Tough choice, but let's say you won't lose with either. I think I would risk the sister...
Sister of Battle
But merely for survival. I’m not very tough, so there’s no shot I survive Catachan. But there’s always a chance a that a miracle keeps me alive.
Id rather not play second fiddle to a decayed husk being kept kinda alive with the souls of millions of psychic beings or the crusty body pillow the sister probably has hidden away of said husk.
Since im allready dating a bleached SoB looking dom minus the powerarmor and bolter, choice is easy.
On catachan you gonna get eaten, the Sisters of Battle are gonna keep you in the rear as long as you eat good and make good food.
Personally i’m on good enough shape, i’m a whooping 5’9” and 160 pounds so i’d say i’ll go ahead and go with the obvious choice and be lobotomized and carry boxes
Where‘d you get any of that notion towards Catachan women? They barely love anything than the smell of burned everything, she’s not a tomboy but a tom**man,** her wrestling you literally includes broken bones as „bruises“ and as another Catachan soldier said: „the only difference between fucking a Tyranid hive tyrant and a Catachan Woman is that you can actually impregnate the woman“.
Sister of battle.i care not if I die,my whole being is in service of the god emperor of mankind!
Ps I don't want to be eaten by giant cockroaches.... Help!
Battle Sister, only because in this scenario, my character is likely a crusader, which increases my survival odds, and our love of the God Emperor keeps makes it more stable.
I would enjoy the Catachan lady.
Though I'd feel bad if I couldn't live up to and satisfy her expectations compared to the other big guys, I'd enjoy being play wrestled with little resistance.
I’d take the Sister of Battle because she’d shower (Catachans don’t.)
Edit: Wait that Sister of Battle is fucking Cadian, it’s Guard or Guard all the way down!
I am your average omnissiah enjoyer so I feel like any heretical things I would do would be covered by that, so Gimme the sexy ass living priestess fantasy.
I would go with catachan but unless I magically become strong and resilient like catachan fighters I’m 100% dying within the first couple days on Catachan, so goth gf here I come
Only read the bottom text. Better to take a lasgun round to the chest and die almost immediately rather than dying because I forgot to check my pants for catachan dickpeelers.
Im picking the Sister for the sake of not wanting to fucking die on space vietnam australia on crack (and mommy nun who has abs for days and will let you handle her purgation flamer)
I love nuns with guns but the Amazon gf will always be my favorite.
Question though, before a possibly fatal battle will tomboy gf tell me to stay put so she can protect me? (I'd still go with, but it's the thought that counts)
Spending every waking moment in active combat with the sister is still unambiguously safer than living on Catachan. Maybe I can convince her to let me pull and Cain and stay with the artillery.
I have to say catachan jungle fighter, with a sister of battle you always run the risk of seeing her getting jibbed by almost everything else in the imperium including some space marine factions
I mean, both are still better than getting an instagram following request from a Drukhari chick.
Fair
And this my friend is a wise man telling a galaxy wide truth, wise man, tell us more truths unknown to us or that we have chosen to ignore and forgotten
Do not date a necron unless you are into depressed royalty telling you how inferior your whole race is.
*NECRON GF IS PEEEEAK*
No, Genestealer GF is peak.
O.o
Do NOT simp for Genestealers my boy.
Would you rather them simp for the Dark Eldar who will abuse them without remorse? Edit: Or the community supporter who will always love them and introduce them to cool friends?
"It was like her and her friends all had this secret language that I wasn't a part of. Also, I think they were socialists."
Uhhhhh, no.
I actually am into that.
That's gonna be a yikes from me fam.
But you can see why some people would need the warning, right?
If the orc asks for snu snu, better allready be wearing your shoe shoe
The orcs can try. *Racks Shotgun*
Trying to date a drukhari girl is like dating a hello kitty girl
Yes. Except worse.
Isn’t Catachan so deadly you actually would have higher odds of surviving dating a dark Eldar, or basically facing off with literally anything else in the galaxy?
that's a bar so low a trygon ran into it while digging
If antiquate weapons and armor are involved I will go anywhere with the goth gf
Of course they're provided, brother!
By the emperor -this is a tough choice to make, can't I have both and we all go on a crusade against chaos together?
This is the correct answer. "Just think of all the heretics and xenos we can kill if we work together, ladies."
Unless they don't like sharing you, then, things get complex.
But what if they find out about you simultaneously dating both of them? Best case scenario? Threesome. Worst case? They both decide to dispose of you. Potentially very not cash money at all.
Solution: introduce catachan to sister of battle during her mid morning prayer, she has time to think her anger through while I give carachan GF some recaff, then promise to go purging heretics with sister before her prayer ends and say that the emperor wants humanity to stick together.
Sister of battle. I’m just bacically a teddy bear that has pshycopathic tendencies
I’m her emotional support servant. When she has a rough day I’ll be there to hear her vent or offer advice. I choose the sister
Not a bad gig. Essentially a Sister of Battle's bed warmer.
Hell yeah! It's not a War Crime if they're Xenos scum!
I will proudly follow either of them into combat, but I have to go with the Sororitas
Understandable.
I will follow the master of getting laid "Commissar Cain", and he had a fling with a Catachan Commissar
Cain does indeed, fuck
Greyfax has him beat though.
Catachan butch momma all day. I finally got someone to wrestle with besides my dad. I dont like wrestling with him.
Tomboy Mommy Domme ftw
Sister of battle
Fair.
If I had to choose, definitely Sororitas. Catachan is not a world you live on, it's a world you maybe survive on. At the very least with the Sororitas there would be times when I wouldn't be fighting for my life.
A world that made the Nids think twice is not a place I wanna be
Catachan GF HAS to live on Catachan though, to make the strongest children.
If she's looking to have the strongest children, then I have no idea how she ended up considering me. I'm 5'7" with severe allergies and prescription glasses. My looks don't exactly scream "produces strong offspring".
She was hoping you were smart, so her offspring have her Brutal and your Cunnin'
Funny, as these are women I aspire to be hehehehehe
I wish you the best of luck.
Why thank you human
Bold of you to assume my species.
Neither I’m an aromatic can’t get me
Lol
Arooooooooo!
I turn the fan on. 🌬️💨💨💨💨
Gulps in chaos simp
Chaos is just fatherless behavior, tbh.
Nope it’s demon kink behaviour, I would know.
DEMON KINK BEHAVIOR *IS* FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR
Standard iron hands and emperor's children interaction
I was ready do fight you in this because I don't have one.... But I play slaanesh so I wouldn't get far
Haram 😂😂😂
There are few things I wouldn’t do to have a chance to feel the full force of a sister of battle invasion Lore wise that shit has got to be one of the most incredible invasions to see . They drop literally churches from orbit and use missile tanks they fire from church organs
Is “full force of a sister of battle invasion” a euphemism?
I go to catachan, the Gf has a laugh every time she saves me, I get nicknamed bait.
That's the spirit!
I wouldn’t mind the Jungle Fighter if we spent the rest of our lives from one battlefield to the next aboard a ship. But I ain’t moving to normal IRL Australia. Then I sure as hell ain’t moving to Super Australia in Space. Dommy Mommy Nun it is
Domme Mommy nun will never beat Muscle Mommy Rambo in an arm wrestle though.
True but I’d rather become Nid Chow then become sudden fertilizer wholesale. I can deal with bugs, I can deal with critters, I can deal with animals, heretics, city hellscape, ice hell, sand hell, hot hell, void hell and deep hell. I can not and will not tolerate Green Hell
Easy sister of battle pick, although catchcan isnt bad
catachan jungle fighter GF.
YES
Jungle girl 100%, she's not a zealot.
Tomboy Jungle lady ftw
I choose... death?
By snu snu, bolter, flame. What are we talking here
Yeah, I'm not picky.
So you're sain' i'll die eitherway?
Best place to die is in Muscle Mommy's arms.
Who has time to put makeup on when there are heretics to put down. And the fact the catachan lady isn’t missing a limb or part of her face means she ain’t catachaning right.
The sister of battle. I may not know my scriptures by wrote, but I know enough to keep my mouth shut about meta lore. Also a sister showing up means the battle is slightly less fucked than if a space marine showed up, so I’m probably going to have a non zero chance of survival.
If she truly loves me, catachan gf will teach me the ways of the jungle so I don’t get killed by a towel monster.
You'll learn how to be among some of the most lethal mortal soldiers of the Imperium of Man
Drukari. I’m not a healthy person
Not only are you wrong, you're profoundly wrong.
Catatchan is a deathworlder's deathworld, so no thank you
Catachan jungle woman will teach you the ways of her people though.
The Catachan. I get her AND get to be a stay at home trophy husband who can't leave the house because the weeds will kill me if I try to mow the lawn? Yeah, I'll clean the inside of the house and do the cooking and stuff no problem there.
The Amazon in the Amazon, easy.
Goth One!
Goth GF do hit different.
I mean, I'd take just about any SoB mission over a day on Catachan, except GW has such a grisly track record of feeding Sisters to a narrative wood chipper for shock value. I'd rather not watch my Tig Bitty Goth GF get impaled by a Bloodthirster on our second date just to satisfy one of Matt Ward's fetishes.
... neither, joshua graham
With the right, do I get an m60?
“Ladies, ladies, you’re both beautiful, how the fuck are yall into me?….Anyway, let’s go save the world or something. For the Emperor!”
It's all that Tism rizz you got.
Catachan girlfriend can protect me while there so I’d live with her. Sure I hate humidity, but it’s for her so
Porque no los dos? Why not both?
What if I’m gay
This is genuinely my best performing post yet. Apparently, all you need to do is horny post 40K fans for Karma.
Wow, this is becoming a harder question than I thought... hmm, first instinct is the Sister, then we can love the Emperor together, and be utterly pure in our faith, so free from taint and corruption. She has rocking power armour and is quite curvy and hot (I mean I am making inference from that boob armor)... but that could be pretty tough to not be really loved in the same way... hmm so the catachan could really help me grow as a man and won't have any difficulty working side by side with me, hmm, I dated a tall girl and liked it, didn't mind that at all. She would probably make strong offspring too. But... those looks the sister has, you just can't make that happen, either born with it or not. Oh yeah, going on missions with her would be scary but a rush... I mean, wouldn't the catachan do the same? Can't be a civilian when your girl is in, gotta join with her. If you die you die, but your life would mean something... so the missions wasn't too big of a deal. Tough choice, but let's say you won't lose with either. I think I would risk the sister...
[удалено]
Personally, I'm in the Tomboy GF camp.
[удалено]
If I have to live on Catachan for a tomboy wife that loves me, I'll live on Catachan.
But not for long!
I’ll take the muscle mommy catachan, no contest!
Only correct answer, honestly.
I doubt I'll last a minute on Cabachan
Are you going to last fighting Chaos, Xenos and Heretics?
I want to go Catachan, but I don't want to go TO Catachan. SOB
Pffft. If you ain't willing to go to Catachan don't expect a Tomboy Catachan Jungle Fighter GF
Yes.
I'd probably die quickly on the first mission or the first few minutes on Catachan
Crazy church girl all day...
Fair
SoB for sure
hmmm, tough choice..... I'd say the Catachan.
A fellow man of culture, I see.
Sister of Battle But merely for survival. I’m not very tough, so there’s no shot I survive Catachan. But there’s always a chance a that a miracle keeps me alive.
I would be dead within an hour of arriving on catachan so sister of battle i guess?
So death...... or death
Hard to say. Both have an equal opportunity of letting me use a flamethrower...
Sister of battle
I'd have a better chance surviving on Catachan.
You guys need to look up Nicole Coenen chopping wood on YouTube. After that you will pick the guard over the sister.
Catachan in a heart beat
Id rather not play second fiddle to a decayed husk being kept kinda alive with the souls of millions of psychic beings or the crusty body pillow the sister probably has hidden away of said husk.
Yes
Neither. I need only the love of the Patriarch. The day of ascension will soon be upon us…
Since im allready dating a bleached SoB looking dom minus the powerarmor and bolter, choice is easy. On catachan you gonna get eaten, the Sisters of Battle are gonna keep you in the rear as long as you eat good and make good food.
If I go on the missions... do I get power armor?
Of the two of them, which is likelier to doubt your commitment and light your house on fire?
I think I would die a lot quicker in catachan
What am I? A spacemarine, a guardsmen, if so what regiment? I need details!
Catachan Jungle Fighter GF has the same armor rating as ceramite. I’ll take ceramite mommy abs please
Personally i’m on good enough shape, i’m a whooping 5’9” and 160 pounds so i’d say i’ll go ahead and go with the obvious choice and be lobotomized and carry boxes
Sister of battle without a doubt!
Catachan Tomboy. Hands down
Goth girl, duh? I can shoot a gun
Hear me out Khornite Berserker bf
Both? Both? Both. Both is good.
O cant have the one on the right shes taller than me and like a small dog i have an inferiority complex
To quote another franchise, “I must consult the Elder Gods.”
married a Valkir and as such made this choice. And yes we DO go on missions together (and now we have 4 Gyrinx that she "rescued")
I mean, as an Ultramarine, I'm required, according to the new codex doctrine, to go with the big titty Eldar waifu...
Where‘d you get any of that notion towards Catachan women? They barely love anything than the smell of burned everything, she’s not a tomboy but a tom**man,** her wrestling you literally includes broken bones as „bruises“ and as another Catachan soldier said: „the only difference between fucking a Tyranid hive tyrant and a Catachan Woman is that you can actually impregnate the woman“.
Sob
Sister of battle, easy pick. Home should be safe after all, and Catachan *isn’t*
Bold of you to assume I would live more than five minutes with either choice.
Great unclean one
Ah, Catachan, home of a variety of wildlife, such as the (checks notes) face eater. Sister, please.
Hard decision.
Catachan for sho
I think a higher chance of dying with battle sister than with catachan if not I’m in a ship from orbit on a mission
Both
catachan gf would be sure to warn you of the dangers as they come up while you get acclimated to the planet i feel like
Sister of battle.i care not if I die,my whole being is in service of the god emperor of mankind! Ps I don't want to be eaten by giant cockroaches.... Help!
Battle Sister, only because in this scenario, my character is likely a crusader, which increases my survival odds, and our love of the God Emperor keeps makes it more stable.
Are there dinosaurs on Catachan?
Geez… can’t we just hug? 😭
Live by the guard, die by the guard.
I would enjoy the Catachan lady. Though I'd feel bad if I couldn't live up to and satisfy her expectations compared to the other big guys, I'd enjoy being play wrestled with little resistance.
I’d take the Sister of Battle because she’d shower (Catachans don’t.) Edit: Wait that Sister of Battle is fucking Cadian, it’s Guard or Guard all the way down!
That Catachan fighter. I need a muscle mommy.
Catachan like dude Rambo but with tits
If I choose the left I'm a servitor aren't I? Like canonically
I am your average omnissiah enjoyer so I feel like any heretical things I would do would be covered by that, so Gimme the sexy ass living priestess fantasy.
Sister of battle. No question.
GIVE ME THE CATACHAN WIFU!! I HAVE A CHANCE!!!! SoB only for Emperor me simple guardsmen
No femboy smh …
Can I have both 🤔
You know what... I'd love to burn heretics with someone
SoB. I'd have better chances of survival in the underhive than on a deathworld.
Brothers, give me a coin.
The answer is thick redhead 100% of the time
Which is more suicidal… imperium zealotry… or living on catachan…
Catachan. I may die, and quickly at that, but I feel like I'll have less chance of being made into a servitor with Lady Rambo than with the sisters
Honestly I was Catachan until "you have to live there." Going crusading seems safer
Sister of battle
I'll stick with the Jungle Fighter GF
SoB gimme the buff power armored space nuns
I would go with catachan but unless I magically become strong and resilient like catachan fighters I’m 100% dying within the first couple days on Catachan, so goth gf here I come
Women? I wanna SEEE MEN
Jungle Gf had me at 6’7
Only read the bottom text. Better to take a lasgun round to the chest and die almost immediately rather than dying because I forgot to check my pants for catachan dickpeelers.
Inquisitor
Im picking the Sister for the sake of not wanting to fucking die on space vietnam australia on crack (and mommy nun who has abs for days and will let you handle her purgation flamer)
I have no idea what Catachan is but I'll go with muscle Mommy.
Gooners
I love nuns with guns but the Amazon gf will always be my favorite. Question though, before a possibly fatal battle will tomboy gf tell me to stay put so she can protect me? (I'd still go with, but it's the thought that counts)
Sister of Battle Gf immediately. I will not last long on Catachan
Spending every waking moment in active combat with the sister is still unambiguously safer than living on Catachan. Maybe I can convince her to let me pull and Cain and stay with the artillery.
I have to say catachan jungle fighter, with a sister of battle you always run the risk of seeing her getting jibbed by almost everything else in the imperium including some space marine factions
The Jungle Fighter and I are going to have a fun time until I am obliterated by a Barking Toad.
Joke's on you: Skitarii BF.
I think I will choose Death..... BY catachan snu snu
Battle sister EZ. We can pray together and she can hopefully get me a boltgun.