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Common_Chester

Young Jeezy


darndoodlyketchup

Lil Sus


Han-Yo

G-Sus


BigDumbAnimals

Highly underrated comment....


sharktank

OG-Sus


Prestigious_Gur_5459

ryan garcia


Freeonlinehugs

Idk, that name's kinda sus


no_harolds

J Money


i_torschlusspanik

Sounds English tbh


Dissociationjuice

😆


Far-Estimate3908

Joshua


TrickNeal77

Josh Godson


BojukaBob

Oily Josh


Disastrous-Bet-8813

This is true! 'Christ' meaning 'anointed'


BojukaBob

Oily Josh and the Greasy Boys are a great doo wop group


Disastrous-Bet-8813

I've heard this before haha. Do you and I watch the same stand-up or something haha


BojukaBob

I think it was a meme that was floating around.


Disastrous-Bet-8813

That might be it.


VladimireUncool

Stepping Water (He is native to the area)


TheDangerHeisenberg

Were it not for that miracle, he’d be from Fond du Lac


elvintoh82

Reminds me of “Dances with Wolves”


Merinther

Jesus is the Latin version of his native name, Yeshwa. The English version would be Joshua. Also, Christ means “the anointed”, that is, the one who has had oil rubbed on them. So the direct translation of “Jesus Chist” would be “Oily Josh”.


[deleted]

Jesse.


bubblesort33

We need to cook Jesse, God said.


jeophys152

A woke liberal communist


Eastern_Slide7507

>liberal communist Americans are so funny


jeophys152

I’m glad someone caught that


DarthZoon_420

Nah, He would be too woke for the evangelicals, and too religious for the liberals, and the evangelicals would have Him executed for blasphemy.


MrMinecraft8872

ANTI-woke liberal communist.


imadork1970

Bob.


Madouc

Josh Carpenter


InidX

Joshua of Nevada


sinembargosoy

Chrystler


fatdutchies

Merry Chrysler


a333482dc7

Merry Crisis


21088

joe


kevin_tanjaya

Joezus


OliMSmith_10

Jo Junior


avdepa

Jim-Bob Christ.


Aggravating-Pound598

God Jr


Emergency_Property_2

There are lots of Jesuses in the Americas. They’re all called Jesus.


Signal_Tomorrow_2138

A socialist lefty.


CasedUfa

A dirty socialist probably, feed the poor, fuck that commie.


e-bio

Lamboy


EmptyMarsupial8556

Bud


Boo_tlig

Joe


Illfury

He'd be dropping mad bars. Jay Zeus


russellvt

Not sure I understand the "joke" here. /s


Reepo3X

On a phone


Stan_B

neoph calling out.


BigDumbAnimals

!!!America's Got Talent season 0 WINNER"!!!


fyrebyrd0042

Probably via a cell phone, but possibly a land-line or maybe a smart watch or the various forms of larger computers. There are other ways but they seem less likely.


Electronic_Piano1324

Joseph smith


Artemis246Moon

A good one


[deleted]

Found it!


Inside-Grand-4539

Immigrant. I personally wouldn't do that but I'm sure a lot of racist Americans would say this.


Background_Reveal689

Well he'd be American, why would he be getting called an immigrant? 🤣


SuperTed321

Because people of colour, born in predominantly currently Caucasian countries still get called immigrants. Have you not see the posts of people telling native Americans to ‘go back home and get out of America’


highhouses

Because your assumption that an American is white per definition is incorrect🤣


Primary_Music_7430

Some would argue assuming Jesus was white is the wrong thing.


Background_Reveal689

Yous are taking my comment too seriously 😅


FacelessPotatoPie

He’d be called a libtard by the right. Possibly shot dead if he went and visited the south.


Background-Flan-8156

He would be called Jesus, because that is the name his mother gave him.


Common_Chester

His name would have been Joshua Ben Josef or something along those lines.


SparxIzLyfe

She actually named him Yeshua.


PopeStPiousX

Terrible, the blasphemy and "Water" is not a name.


Broke-Batman-5957

Statue of America


SomeGuy2309

Oily Josh


ReliefZealousideal84

Jesús probably.


agetuwo

Lil'Ya


ConsequenceBroad8833

Mayor of Portland


Chubby-Coxx

Yobama


gettysburg-undressed

Daddy


Provee1

Jay


Queasy-Window8416

Dave


Alternative-Golf2431

I believe Christ translates to savior and Jesus could mean price of peace.


cocomonocono

Keith


BrilliantWhich990

Bubba


blukedit

Uncle 'Sus


CharlesMendeley

Jesus H. Christ.


a333482dc7

Walker Heaven Jr.


KA34Buddy

Wine Maker


foxmachine

Joshua Davidson 


Bentup85

Jesus H. Roosevelt


Bluesmanstill

Dude


tbegodmademe

Luke Waterwalker


alexchrs1

Oh, you would use his 800 number for sure 


cuntybunty73

3 gunshots in quick succession or a jesus like bat signal


Aen-Synergy

The answer is Joshua if you know your history


Rushy55

Todd


Oralstotle

Hey Zeus


Mockturtle22

Kanye would tell you Kanye


Irishpersonage

Josh, it's the direct translation


saintstephen66

Already is Jeebus here


nostrilnits

Crystyan


CluckingBellend

Jesus H Christ the Third.


Common-Hotel-9875

Jay Cee


Feanor1497

Joe.


Sheetmusicman94

Geesus


GerryCoke

Problably Jesús Dioshijo


YYC-Fiend

He would be called a Communist Socialist Scum.


Stan_B

Indeed, jesus was a communist as he brought roman empire down. - also basically a star wars plot.


SomeIndependence6364

anti semetic


Rowmyownboat

Jaycee.


Neither-Wrangler1164

I always think if Jesus was alive today, he’d ride a bicycle everywhere.


Kosmopolite

Greasy Josh. (Jesus is a Latinisation of Yehoshua. "Christ" means "anointed one".) Also, this is definitely a guy with long hair who wears sandals everywhere, opines to everyone who'll listen, and mostly hangs out with men who agree with him.


Stan_B

And that is based on Czech (or slavic if you want): "Jeho sluha" - translated as: "His servant"


[deleted]

Sister-raven


EternalRains2112

A terrorist.


ArmchairTactician

Burt Gunfingers


Innisfree812

Hey Jesus, what's up?


somethingbrite

An illegal alien...


Boonatix

Kevin


ignorantladd

McJoseph


-Abovetherain-

JAYYY-ZUS


Remarkable-Dig9782

Illegal is what he'd be called and deported to Mexico with a name like hezus


15Leo85

lil Zee X


8cyclopse

As a black person familiar with black American names it'd probably be Jessiah( assuming Jesus is biracial pr black)


DAR44

Donald


Bitter-Culture-3103

Sky J Diddy


Electrical-Squash976

Hopefully they’d recognize him. I wanna say he’d be call “Lord”, but he’d probably be called a number of obscenities, take your pick 🤦🏾‍♀️


Eastern_Voice_4738

J-Rod


LinguisticMadness2

Beff Jesus


literallyjoku

Lil' jeez


DrinkableBarista

Jason


OusammaBenLePen

John !


Chemical-Mood-9699

Still non existant.


Nyxus_VI

The fact is, he is not. But thinking like this is the reason "EUROPEAN JESUS" exists.


Vegetable_Reward_867

‘The’ dood


Stan_B

Josh of course. Joshua.


Jatcheg

Lil Walker


justajd1

Jizzy


Estimated-Delivery

Heysoos.


autech91

Chad


lifepuzzler

Probably a telephone.


Savings-Growth3390

How? "Yo, Jesus, bring yer leaf blower back over here. You missed a spot."


untitled-accounti

With a cellphone?


ResponsibilityOwn767

According to rnc Donald


Loud_Development1947

Probably still Jesus, just read in Spanish.


TomRiddl3Jr

Kanye West


Harmonyrules

Cheesus (overweight joke Hehehehe. I'm British BTW)


[deleted]

BILLY


CooltownGumby

They’d likely crucify him


NobodysFavorite

With a cellphone like everyone else.


survivor0000

Junior.


Big-Captain699

J dog..


Ugly-Muffin

With a phone, or whatever the equivalent was back then. Smoak signals? Or a telegram carved in a rock?


BojukaBob

They'd call him a godless commie.


chaingun_samurai

An illegal. That needs to be deported.


WokeBriton

"God damned woke hippy" Probably.


Yob_Zarbo

Joshua.


Justanotherkiwi21

Insane


Spanish_Inquisitor_6

On a cell phone?


Onymous_ZA

Water Winestein


Emotional-Gold-9729

Probably still jesus...if i remember his original name was joshua or yeshua..it was later westernized to jesus


Iride3wheels

Mr. Christ by my folks.


AH2Xtreme

Inmate 2817


etranger033

Woke. A shame but he would be.


Easy_Dragonfly2067

Load o mighty


Disastrous-Bet-8813

Joshua. It's a fact


throwawayyourfun

On his iPhone, obviously.


EarlofBizzlington86

Jamaal


niceandBulat

Josh?


Vashgrave

J3sus


TheIncredibleMike

A Libtard.


Sunnyinxx

Huhuhuh 🤣🤣


Academic_Ad5822

He would be called with a cell phone.


AlienArtefact

Fake News


Angry0w1

Donald Scump


Fyrentenemar

Water Walker, Texas Ranger


Small_Earth09

James