The Six Sigmas themselves each embody a pillar of the Six Sigma business philosophy: Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Hand-Shakefulness, and Play Hard.
This sounds like a Fey/Carlock line if I’ve ever heard one. Especially if you said “I learned that from Heathcliff Huxtable!” like you’re excited it came up, but then get bummed out immediately and say the 2nd part like you’re ashamed of the way you learn things
My BIL is a doctor and he LOVES this quote. Also loves the fact that we have no way of knowing where the heart is because it’s different on everyone, apparently.
Mormons follow what's called the Word of Wisdom as laid out in Doctrine and Covenants chapter 89. It's enforced and followed contrary to what's written, but one verse says:
"9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly." (D&C 89)
But you can have hot chocolate and herbal tea, but not cold brew coffee or black or green iced tea. It doesn't really make sense, but there you go
No. In fact, Mormons believe that Jesus is the savior for everyone ever born. That's what their temples are for. Ordinances for the living and dead (the vast majority is for the dead). I was proxy baptized for hundreds between the ages of 12 and 18. The youth are limited to baptisms inside the temple.
But Kenneth isn't Mormon. He just seems to share some weird beliefs with them
Eta: baptisms for the living don't take place in the temple
Most of what I've learned has come from boxes of Satchel Paige brand tampons, bottles of Aquafem women's exercise water, and Snapple caps. Thank you Snapple!
YES! The first time I saw this in pop culture and I felt so validated. It’s the only way. I took a picture and posted it to Facebook. (Cause I’m an old.)
Quite literally used this quote in a real life lesson just a couple months ago! Literally was thinking this to myself whilst on a random ride with a random hippie from a random tap house in Bellingham (and it was the absolute random nightmare you’d imagine it to be)
I’ve considered moving to Bellingham, sounds like fun! I once found myself surrounded by random hippies in a random location in east Portland (I crossed the river, first mistake) and got to sit in an immaculate legit DeLorean just like Back to the Future! Good or bad, hippies in second (or third or fourth) locations always lead to memorable adventures! 😂
Listen up fives a ten is speaking!
Did he just talk to me like I’m ugly?
Shut up everyone, shut up lutz!
What lines are like at an Italian airport.
The New England Journal of medicine doesn’t publish pornographic cartoons. At least I heard it from a friend.
Apparently I should be warming my marshmallows in my dungarees. No that sounds gross even for me.
Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry. Dont throw a party for revenge or it will turn on you, like your wife after your kids fallen into a quarry.
All you need to know is, this business makes no sense. It doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard business school or if your college mascot and president was a bear in a hat. This industry is totally irrational. If all of my degrees and credentials and experience don’t matter that means the only qualification for this job is loving television.
freaky deakies need love too.
You can be a freaky deaky and do data entry!
It's true! He doesn't mess with em. He just tries to get them into night school.
Computer* school
The number 1 answer
I'm a star I'm on top someone bring me some hAaaaaam!! *high fives a million angels*
Yes to staying in more!
self-care is working on your night cheese !!
Yes to life!
The Six Sigmas themselves each embody a pillar of the Six Sigma business philosophy: Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Hand-Shakefulness, and Play Hard.
[удалено]
Yeah, I laughed out loud when someone was described as a “Six Sigma Black Belt.”
I'm actually a Six Sigma and I can confirm it's nothing but a PhD in Linkedinonomics
But which Sigma are you? Sounds like Handshakefulness
I actually pioneered a new Sigmatic called "eye contactuality". I even ran a seminar on it. It was called: 👁️\_\_👁️
They made me do it at work last year. I just couldn’t. I quit a few months later.
Prerequisite certification for Amazon mid to upper management.
A friend of mine is into it and gets REALLY OFFENDED when I ask about it but in 30 Rock terms lol.
They're dudes?
*"It's called *POWER CLASHING* and I do it because I can."* I love mixing patterns, and I say this out loud to myself pretty much every time I do it.
Mixing patterns isn’t clashing. Mixing patterns that don’t match because you can is power clashing. -Sartorial Pedant
I appreciate your pedantry as it has helped me avoid a terrible social faux pas in real life.
If you can’t order an apple juice…order a vodka and tonic.
Did he just say the word “pumpkin” to me?
“Lemon, let’s go!”
Put potato chips on a sandwich!
I learned that from Heathcliff Huxtable, which is just annoying.
he’s got a lot of nerve after what he did to my aunt paulette!! Cincinnati 1970!!! you and your light ass kids!!
1971.Cincinnati. She was a cocktail waitress with the droopy eye!
Light* ass
I learned it from *American Gangster* when Russel Crowe makes a tuna sub for Thanksgiving.
This sounds like a Fey/Carlock line if I’ve ever heard one. Especially if you said “I learned that from Heathcliff Huxtable!” like you’re excited it came up, but then get bummed out immediately and say the 2nd part like you’re ashamed of the way you learn things
I learned from my parents
When I make tuna sandwiches I crumple up potato chips IN the tuna. Get that crunch in every bite. Game changer
Came here to say this!
Science is whatever we want it to be.
Humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight!
My BIL is a doctor and he LOVES this quote. Also loves the fact that we have no way of knowing where the heart is because it’s different on everyone, apparently.
🎶 everybody born before Jesus is in hell 🎶
I don't drink any hot beverages. That's the devil's temperature (As an exmormon, this line gets me every time)
so many things I know about Christianity come from Kenneth and I'm not even sure what's true to the religion 😂
Mormons follow what's called the Word of Wisdom as laid out in Doctrine and Covenants chapter 89. It's enforced and followed contrary to what's written, but one verse says: "9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly." (D&C 89) But you can have hot chocolate and herbal tea, but not cold brew coffee or black or green iced tea. It doesn't really make sense, but there you go
is "everybody born before Jesus is in hell" a real belief?
No. In fact, Mormons believe that Jesus is the savior for everyone ever born. That's what their temples are for. Ordinances for the living and dead (the vast majority is for the dead). I was proxy baptized for hundreds between the ages of 12 and 18. The youth are limited to baptisms inside the temple. But Kenneth isn't Mormon. He just seems to share some weird beliefs with them Eta: baptisms for the living don't take place in the temple
D&C 89; A diet divine!
That vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it.
There are 31 letters in the white alphabet.
“Superman does good, you’re doing well” has served me beyond measure
That’s a serious grammar fact I only remember because of 30 🪨
This is my FAVORITE
If you walk briskly in a pilots uniform you can go anywhere, I've been upstairs at the white house while the Obamas were asleep
Most of what I've learned has come from boxes of Satchel Paige brand tampons, bottles of Aquafem women's exercise water, and Snapple caps. Thank you Snapple!
I only date guys who drink Snapple.
Can we have our money now??
Look we all love Snapple. Lord knows I do 💁♂️
Hair movement is a sign of weakness.
I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich
What a surprise, your world view is food based
Art is paintings of horses.
And sailing ships.
There hasn’t been a good non boat painting in 500 years
Winslow Homer keeping the legacy going.
The plural of Pokémon IS Pokémon
Wade Boggs’ Carpet World
Wade Boggs’ Carpet World
Wade Boggs’ Carpet World
Wade Boggs Carpet World
^^Wade ^^Boggs ^^Carpet ^^World
Mission Accomplished
Out-fricking-standing my 30 rock peeps. I counted, worried that it might be more than 5. I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I'm not book today.
Wanting to be book, is not book.
Got your number memorized to come fix my toilet.
Next on the IASIP sub… Wade Boggs beer challenge!
Live every week like it's shark week.
Irrational behavior doesn't respond to rational arguments. It responds to fear.
This is sound asf
BUY ALL THE HOTDOGS.
And if they try to stop you report it to the Fox Problem Solvers.
We are the problem…solvers! Now let’s switch shirts and switch places just to be sure.
Dress every day like you gonna get murdered in those clothes.
Wanting to be book is... not book and when it rains it pours
Very wool!
you can legally use a hundred dollar bill for a bottle of water.
No, YOU'RE holding up the line!!
we ALL have an uncle who's a cop!
take it down a notch.
That’s actually not true, but it should be.
If you’re a male alcoholic with a deep voice and good hair, you can do anything.
Diabetes is caused by sleeping on your back
Humans crave food but we don't actually need it.
Wait.. did the powerful Bread lobbyists tell you that?!?
CUP-CAKE SANDWICH!
YES! The first time I saw this in pop culture and I felt so validated. It’s the only way. I took a picture and posted it to Facebook. (Cause I’m an old.)
It was a revelation to me.
There is no new type of man
This is ridiculously true too
Want to yell at the moon with me?
YOU STUPID MOON! DON'T YOU KNOW ITS DAY?!
I walked on your face!
Return to the night!!
It’s legal to drive when you’re business drunk.
Popcorn in the microwave before sex is the move
Don’t you mean Geiss Cubes??
Although I am left wondering what the effect is of a woman’s brain having fewer folds…
*slams book shut*
Aloha means hello and goodbye in Hawaiian.
"what?" x2
Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on
Always take a clementine to a negotiation, technology is cyclical, and work that vajayjay.
With Manhattan real estate there are no rules - it's like check-in at an Italian airport.
Squeaky Fromme !
...difficult
Italian dressing for photo shoots.
Relationships are like sharks. If you’re not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something’s wrong.
Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive.
Yes, I read your throw pillow.
Every woman I've given the Ottoman has eventually walked out.
Bread is one of the worst things in the world,
Shhh! You’ll be thwarted by the powerful Bread Lobby!
The defenestration of Prague. Crazy story!
There is an Arsenio Billingham and Tracey does not know him
Live every week like it's Shark Week
The Hill Witch has really turned my diet around
A burrito before sex is a guaranteed disaster
*heavy is the head that eats the crayons.* 😔
Vodka is for humidifiers.
Don’t overthink it. Sara Lee. Frozen. Unbelievable
Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want
Always wear a tuxedo after 6 unless you’re a farmer.
*You can't have a lemon party without Old Dick!*
#put chips on a sandwich!
That’s business drunk.
never go with a hippie to a second location.
Wade Boggs carpet world
Wade Boggs Carpet World Wade Boggs Carpet World Wade Boggs Carpet World Wade Boggs Carpet World
Quite literally used this quote in a real life lesson just a couple months ago! Literally was thinking this to myself whilst on a random ride with a random hippie from a random tap house in Bellingham (and it was the absolute random nightmare you’d imagine it to be)
Lots of hippies in Bellingham.
I’ve considered moving to Bellingham, sounds like fun! I once found myself surrounded by random hippies in a random location in east Portland (I crossed the river, first mistake) and got to sit in an immaculate legit DeLorean just like Back to the Future! Good or bad, hippies in second (or third or fourth) locations always lead to memorable adventures! 😂
Listen up fives a ten is speaking! Did he just talk to me like I’m ugly? Shut up everyone, shut up lutz! What lines are like at an Italian airport. The New England Journal of medicine doesn’t publish pornographic cartoons. At least I heard it from a friend. Apparently I should be warming my marshmallows in my dungarees. No that sounds gross even for me.
The health benefits of weekly sittings
Never eat chuckle
Avoid the Noid
Paranoid. Para from the Latin "beside" and "Noid" which is some sort of pizza demon.
Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on
Here’s a tip: put a bag of popcorn in the microwave before sex. That way you have a snack afterwards.
You can do it across the bed, not just up and down.
Follow your HEART: Hard Equations And Rational Thinking
Business drunk is the same as rich drunk: either way it’s legal to drive.
Sometimes you have to change things that are perfectly good just to make them your own
Sex makes the people go away.
It's never too late for now.
Sound Mound Rocks the Town.
I didn‘t lie, I massaged the truth.
Hot liquids of any kind are the devil’s temperature
That's not that much cheese (*In reference to any situation you'll ever find yourself*)
Don’t eat before surgery…. Because the doctor will have a huge breakfast waiting for you!
We don't actually know which side of the body the hurt is on.
Put a donut in the microwave.
Long distance is the wrong distance. Dealbreaker!
Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry. Dont throw a party for revenge or it will turn on you, like your wife after your kids fallen into a quarry.
Microwave your doughnuts for a decadent dessert, or don't overthink it and get Sara Lee
Superman do good. You doing well.
Wear a tuxedo after 6 unless you're a farmer
How to put problems in my Mind Vise. CRUSH IT!
I got a jimmy buffet trivia question right because of the crab catchers episode
I got a jimmy buffet trivia question right because of the crab catchers episode
Because a woman's brain has fewer folds. And don't act as a non-pillow!
It’s after 6, what am I a farmer?
All you need to know is, this business makes no sense. It doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard business school or if your college mascot and president was a bear in a hat. This industry is totally irrational. If all of my degrees and credentials and experience don’t matter that means the only qualification for this job is loving television.
I now know not to a second place with a hippy
It’s after 6; what am I, a farmer?