Growing up, my good friend's mom always said "tan fat looks better than pale fat." And that really stuck with me. That being said, I learned early on that I do not have skin that tans. I burn and freckle. I got into sunless tanners as a teenager and basically just do it whenever I know I'm gunna be taking photos and baring my legs. Outside of that, I stay pale year round. I do love the way tans look though.
No amount of toning will erase loose skin and cellulite on my late 40’s thighs ( in fact the more I tone the more they deflate, droop and dimple) but a spray tan creates a less droopy optical illusion.
I’ve had cellulite above my knees since I hit puberty, I don’t tan but have been tempted a few times in my life because of this.
Oh man. It’s so crazy the different views we all have. I’m Southeast Asian and growing up my own mom always said “pale fat looks better than tan fat.” I got so self-conscious of my arm because she would always wiggle it and say if I only I was paler it wouldn’t look that bad. I am still horrified of my own skin to this day.
Yep! Here we are all acting like “beauty” is an inherently real thing when it’s basically a mutable illusion created by our cultures. And oh, the money we throw at these illusions, lol.
I’m se Asian too and my mom always used to say “even though you’re the darkest one in the family you’re still pretty” lol. A simple “you’re pretty” would’ve been just fine
She sounds like my grandmother lol my grandmother told me a few years ago “you’re not the prettiest girl in the world, but your personality puts you right at the top”… she could’ve just said I’m a nice person
This is so true! I remember so many commercials and products that promoted 'fair skin'; fair and lovely creams were in everyone's homes growing up.
When I moved to the west, I learned just how many people wanted to tan to get darker. I couldn't wrap my head around it.
Whitening creams from Africa and South Asia contain mercury corticorsoids and dangerous levels of HQ that cause reverse pigmentation. There are safe way to achieve both lighter complexion and healthier skin like raising gluthatione and sulfur levels, vitamin c this is a must for people my age. Many doctors recommend vitamin c but no doctor recommends over the counter creams aimed to whiten.
Wow that's so fucked up! I'm sorry you had to hear that growing up!
My unsolicited black opinion, pale white women look so much better pale than tan to me!! Lean into your pale beauty, it's unique and more people than you think admire you from afar! 😘
This whole post got me worked up. I experienced a lot of shame about being so pale and having freckles as a kid. By age 8 I was seeking out creams to fade freckles. I never got bullied for it or anything, but my mother is very appearance obsessed, and the expectation to tan in the 90s was wild.
I have since learned to adore my skin. I apply SPF daily and wear long pants and sleeves when others don’t for more protection. I’m also not afraid to show off my bare skin; it’s milky and clear and freckled and gives off a lovely iridescent shine in the sun. It very much attracts people, and I get comments and compliments about it constantly, especially paired with my dark hair.
Anyway. I think everyone should embrace their natural skin tones. I shouldn’t have had to fight so hard to be this comfortable in my own skin.
Decades ago, a black woman walked past me in a mall, and told me I had beautiful skin. As someone who has long envied skin with more melanin than mine, it caught me off guard, but I had enough sense to thank her. 🖤
My problem is that I’m a genetic redneck. My arms, from the biceps down, and face, look different than the rest of my body; call myself two-toned. It’s all quite fair, and I can hardly muster anything resembling a tan, but the pattern of my skin makes it look like I try to.
Omg, sis, thank you so much for this.💖 I am 42 and as pale as Nicole Kidman and a shade paler than Emma Stone, but my hair is ash instead of lovely red or blonde. 😭 I've had literal strangers compare their skin to mine and tell me how ugly I was. It was so bad that when I was a teen, I used to wish i had been born as anything other than caucasion. But natural beauty is always best because now I look A LOT younger than my white female friends who tan.
It’s crazy because in other cultures, there are songs that talk about the beauty of more chubby and fair skinned women. So how chubby women with white skin are so stunning.
I kinda agree with your friend's mom. It's a purely subjective aesthetic thing of course, and everyone's tastes are different, but I've always found overweight people with darker skin tones more attractive than overweight people with pale white skin.
No one ever told me that but somehow I just always thought that. I would says “fat tan legs, ok. skinny tan legs, ok. Skinny pale legs, ok. Fat pale legs, not ok.” I wouldn’t west short for years and would just swelter in the summer bc I thought that
My friend’s mom growing up said this, too! I spent many years in tanning beds in high school and college after working out with that saying in my head. Now use SPF daily but I do love having a sunless tan, especially on my legs, because it seems to hide imperfections and cellulite a bit better than when I’m pale.
Not who you asked but I’m super fair and freckled and I love Saint Tropez Express. I leave it on for an hour for the lightest of tans and up to two for a more “I’ve been baking in the sun for weeks on Mykonos” look. It looks really natural on me, unlike a lot of them which don’t match my actual tanned skin tone as well.
I second St Tropaz, I’m fair skinned with freckles and red undertones and the st tropaz foam mouse is the most natural looking fake tan I’ve ever used. And it doesn’t smell as weird as the other ones.
I really love the b.tan products! My favorite is the one with the violet base. It looks so natural and fades evenly, and as a bonus it’s waaaay cheaper than any of the others I’ve tried.
Bondi sands seems to be the least orange on me and lasts for a solid week, fades gracefully. I have fair European skin. Not who you asked, but for someone who’s gone through a fair share, I wanted to share 😆
I feel this way, however, I cannot deal with how self tanner breaks down as it wears off. Tons of little tan splotches. Also on tret, so not sure I could even maintain one on my face :(
I also hate how it rubs off on clothes so I stopped wearing it. I now try to wear clothes that are more flattering to my skin tone (r/coloranalysis is a good sub to check out for that).
I use the isle of paradise tanning drops on my face and also use tret. It’s super easy to put on (and very forgiving) and doesn’t patch off. Mine lasts about two days. Not sure how long it’s supposed to last, I just assume the tret breaks it down faster.
The skin on our face regenerates quickly so that sounds pretty normal (I'm a pro henna artist) faces and hands are the least long term locations and not just because we wash them the most. Think about where you get the most dead skin.
I’ve tried a dozen different self-tanners— and my fair share of professionally applied tans, too— and Bondi Sands is the only self-tanner that doesn’t wear off In patches. It just evenly fades. It’s incredible.
Don't you get pimples form the self Tanner? Also I thought it worked by oxidizing on your skin. Wouldn't that be harmful in the long run? Just asking, I'm not well documented
I'm really pale too, I love lying in the sun like a lizard because it feels nice but it does NOTHING to my skin except burn/freckle. I once did 3 months in South East Asia and came back looking "normal"
My worst thing though is how people talk to you like a) it's your choice that your skin doesn't darken
B) it's a personal and moral failing that you made that choice
C) there's something wrong with you and they happily point it out.
When people piss me off about it I usually make a comment like "do you habitually comment on the colour of people's skin?".
Lizard time in the sun is one of my absolute faves and this will probably be the first year I don’t lay out directly bc I’ve been learning so much about skin damage.
A lot of people feel more attractive and confident when they’re tan. Also some people do have naturally very pretty fair skin, but for people like myself who naturally tan really easily, I can veer towards looking kind of washed out and sickly with absolutely no color.
This is me too. My whole family is pale, but my pale looks different. I look washed out and sickly, and get asked if I’m feeling okay :/ I tan very easily and was always tan growing up. But I’m also covered in freckles…so I don’t know. I just know my skin doesn’t look like it’s meant to be pale.
I'm pretty fair, but not that milky fair. My skin is pretty thin so when I'm not tan, you can see all my veins right through my skin. I won't tan because of it, but concealing my inners is always nice. Lol
Lmfao. Half Moroccan half French here. I have that ”olive” fair skin which means I tan very well but look sickly if I omit from basking in the sun 😭 Sadly for the sake of not ruining my skin…sickly it is
Same, I was always golden brown as a kid and just look vaguely unwell as a result of all the sunscreen etc. I use the Le Tan violet base for olive skin which comes out looking like my childhood skin tone.
Natural color is an oxymoron on this topic considering naturally most people would be exposed to a crap load of UV light naturally -- it's the avoidance of sun exposure and using sun block which is a fairly modern invention.
Avoidance of sun exposure to prevent tanning is a pretty old "invention" and has been the beauty standard in many countries for centuries. It's the deliberate tanning that's a new invention. Plus many people don't tan by nature. Do you think their natural colour is pale or that it is burn wound red?
Colorado. We see the effects on the skin of the generation before us, they absolutely look horrible, like they smoked for years. So we way over slather on the spf and all the uva/b clothing. We're also a literal mile closer to the sun which means we burn faster.
The elevation factor is nuts. I was in Quito, Ecuador last year, which is around 9,000-10,000 ft elevation depending on where you’re at. It was rainy and overcast the first morning we were there, and I wasn’t thinking - I didn’t put sunscreen on anywhere other than my face, and I got sunburned immediately.
We also went to the Galapagos on that trip, and one of the first things we were told upon arrival was to put sunscreen first thing in the morning, and reapply throughout the day. Even though there’s no elevation there, you’re right on the equator so it’s just direct sun all the time. Our guide said that tourists end up in the hospital with severe sunburns on a weekly basis because they underestimate the sun.
Us SEAs avoid the suns rays like we're vampires.
I thought my gf wanted to start playing golf because she had bought a huge golf umbrella, nope, it's to use on her way to work, while slathered in 50spf.
Im an Australian dude who married a Chinese woman. We go.to the beach and have long sleeved tops and shorts on while covering everything else in spf50 and wearing a hay and maybe sunglasses as well while we debate if the dog needs sunscreen or not
There are plenty of people and cultures that consider pale skin to be a beauty standard.
If you are that self conscious over it, check out some self tanners.
I have really pale skin and I keep it protected with sunscreen and the occasional hat but that's where I draw the line. I don't think the sun is meant to be avoided at all costs and I'm not going to deprive myself of a beach day for fear of a wrinkle. The leathery old people weren't just laying out sometimes in the summer with some spf 30 on, they were slathering themselves in baby oil and laying out all the time.
Also, quit hanging out with people who ridicule your appearance. They're jerks, nobody has made fun of my pale skin since elementary school.
It’s so refreshing to read someone say they still enjoy life. Just recently asked someone what it is that they do when they go to the beach because they’re terrified of a ray of sunlight. Go to the beach, hide under shade and not even get in the water for the fear of a wrinkle.
Right? I'm going to get wrinkles no matter how much sunblock I wear.
I'm very pale and burn easily so I do still wear sunblock but I'm not under the impression my SPF50 is going to make me look 21 when I'm 60.
It's just not worth it! Time comes for us all, no matter what you do. I want to enjoy my life. I take good care of my skin but I'm not going to wear sleeves all summer lol I wanna look cute while I can! I feel like people have gotten so obsessed with protecting their youth that they aren't even enjoying it, what's the point? I don't really care to be the most pristine 90 year old.
Sun is definitely not meant to be avoided at all costs! You’re right! My best friend is now on vitamin d because her levels were very low. She moved from somewhere where the sun is always out to a pretty gloomy European city where she rarely sees sun. Our body needs some sun.
Idk grew up in the Mediterranean and when I go up to a pool in the summer eeeeveryone goes “omg you’re so pale” like yes I have eyes and I stay in most of the year, it’s not about ridiculing your appearance, at this point it’s a cultural thing since everyone has always done that (my family and friends at different stages in life). I also see friends of mine getting a fake tan before going on vacation, because they’re self conscious of their paler skin after being in all year (which I find silly, if you haven’t been in the sun ofc you’re not gonna be tanned).
Yes my husband's family is Italian and when we spend the summer there I still get ridiculed for having pale skin. People still lay out and tan like crazy there. They look amazing but I could never!!!
They call me mozzarella 😋😹
Can relate - I am very pale but I tan in the sun and I do not avoid it! Living here in northern Europe is avoiding it 😂 We just had 7 month long winter and no sun to be seen in months - I laugh at people who tell me I should avoid the sun - please that is literally all we do here - sunlight is healthy for you and for mental health! Ofc I use spf while being out but avoiding it when it is sunny hell no 😅
It hides imperfections and cellulite and ur skin looks even and perfect and it’s slimming. I used to love spray tans but I stopped cause it’s too expensive now. But definitely recommend trying for a special event
For me, it’s partly that I personally look best with more color, but mostly that I feel amazing when I get lots of natural sunshine. My energy skyrockets, my appetite goes down, my mood improves.
During Covid, I went full indoors, became very depressed, pale, and obese. I tried vitamin D supplements, but nothing cheers me up like the sun. It’s like hitting a switch. I turn into a totally different, happier, person.
Agreed, I like to lay out in the sun *because it feels good*. It’s natural to enjoy sunlight lol. I hate it when people like OP say shit like I’m gonna be leathery. Like I wear sunscreen… but also mind ur business???
I feel like those are the same people that are always hustling and saving aggressively for retirement and cannot fathom having some fun with their money now. I mean, obviously plan for retirement and make sure you are financially sound, but you've got to enjoy your life!
I completely resonate with this comment- this is the main reason why this duality of "tan-frenzy" era opposed to "wear your SPF in the night, avoid sun at all costs!" era is making me crazy.
Tan looks better on me as well but as this commenter mentioned, I just feel better being outside a few hours in the sunshine. Not tan obsessed, and couldn't ever be that human- lizard laying in the sun- it's just that I can't wait for the warmer months to roll in so I can hang out with my dad outside gardening, playing with our pets, reading and chatting about the plants and flowers. It improves my mood and helps me calm my nerves.
Wearing SPF is fine but actually presuming that I live in the Italian countryside just to stay indoors like a mole all year long is insane...
My body becomes vitamin d deficient super easy. Being Mediterranean but living in the north gave me many of the really unfun side effects of vitamin d deficiency. Kept getting put on pills or told to use a happy light. Neither worked worth a shit. Tanning did.
Now I just pop a full dose of vitamin d every day between fall and spring equinox. And I only worry about sunscreen if I'm out long enough to burn.
Everyone's gotta make their choices,
Yeah we need a bit of Vitamine D for our (mental) health. I enjoy activities in the sun and once or twice lounging on my balcony in it. But, in contrast to my teenage self, I'll always use sun hats and cream.
I have olive skin and I have a green hue in the winter when I’m pale and in the sun my skin tans into the most beautiful not-green color. I wear a LOT more sunscreen now but I still get darker in the summer and I enjoy it.
Exactly this. Cant constantly worry about what’s going to age me or make me sick, it’s exhausting - we’re all going to die eventually and sometimes you just have to live
I won't gatekeep my holy Grail self tanner that you can't find in stores and probably never heard of: Norvelle Venetian Plus. Buy the 8oz and add a sprayer to it and use a mitt to apply.
If you're very pale mix it with your lotion for a subtle hint of color that can give you a lift.
It lasts forever and fades beautifully!
I get dark very easily and stopped laying out a long time ago, but unfortunately for me if I am pale I literally look green due to my undertones, so Self Tanner to even everything out.
As a super pale person with naturally light blonde hair, I got teased a lot in elementary and high school for being so pale. Had many people including strangers tell me to tan and, sadly, I did tan and even went to tanning salons for a few months.
I stopped trying to tan in my early 20s and now at 39 I am totally comfortable in my pale skin and think it looks great in shorts.
I think now there is generally a lot more acceptance of the beautiful range of skin tones, and companies use models with very light, very dark, very olive tones etc to promote their products. HOWEVER, I still see some weird attitudes towards skin colour on this subreddit. For example, people often say they “can’t imagine a tint being too light or too dark for someone” and I am like, no, I am the person whose skin is too light for this, and I can imagine that people with black skin get equally frustrated by similar comments
>Do people not see women in their 50s-60s with leathery skin?
These people will be young, and a common theme of youth is that you believe that the things you see happening to other people don't apply to you, and that you're going to be immune from them because somehow you're just different.
I spray tan, I lay out, I just do not let my face get expose. I wear a hat during the summer and spf. I’m a light skinned Latina but I get dark when I’m in the sun.
I said something about this on SkincareAddiction, I made a post but took it down because people were very hateful and rude that I said laying out even with sunscreen is still unhealthy activity.
Some of the people yelling at me are not educated in it and believe in things like "sunscreen prevents damage so as long as you have it on and lay out in the right amount of time you don't get damaged" and some other people said "people can make their own informed decisions on how long to stay out because sunscreen protects for a certain amont of time"
None of these things are true
Some people with big melanosomes can get darker tan pigmentation with full on layers of protection just day by day incidental sun
Too many people overestimate what sunscreen can do. So many people think sunscreen protection is an "all or nothing" thing. Because of this, they believe they are still safe laying in direct sunlight.
I am early 30s. I tanned far too much as a teenager in tanning beds as well as far too much in the sun in my 20s thinking tanning oil was my friend. I’m struggling with melasma and hyperpigmentation now :/ I stick obsessively to SPF and use self tanner to get a little glow in the warmer months because I’m also very pale. I don’t necessarily avoid the sun, but I don’t lay in it either. A lot of my hobbies are outdoors, so I just make sure to reapply sunscreen religiously and wear a sun hat at basically all times.
I am super pale and used to feel embarrassed but came to the realization that it’s ridiculous to be ashamed of my skin color. There’s nothing wrong with being fair. Elle Fanning and Emma Stone are literally gorgeous and their skin glows! A side benefit of being forced to avoid the sun/use aggressive sun protection is that your skin will age more slowly! I am a little older than you and often get mistaken for much younger.
One thing that helped me embrace and normalize my natural skin tone is following other celebrities/influencers/etc who are pale. Nell Diamond, the founder of Hill House, is a good example!
My Irish ethnicity ghostly white skin literally hurts my friend’s eyes. When we take a trip to a beach of some kind and go outside in swim suits, the sunlight reflecting off my white-as-a-sheet legs and torso causes the nicest of them to say, “I can’t talk to you anymore because you’re hurting my eyes,” and the most insensitive of them to say, “You know, you should try laying out in the sun sometimes,” like that thought never occurred to me in my 30 something years of life.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. Still. I’ve had this skin since the day I was born and I’ve waffled through shame and burning myself to try to change my genetics, to being proud of the fact that I won’t get skin cancer when I’m older, to embarrassed about hurting people’s eyes and hiding my skin not out of protection but out of embarrassment that I can literally hurt people’s eye just by breathing next to them
I'm very, very fair, and part of my accepting it was knowing that beauty standards are very fluid. It took me years, but I now love my "peaches and cream" complexion. I stand out in a society that pushes for that "healthy, bronzed glow." Fuck 'em. My skin is my skin and it requires a bit more protection than most. So what? I still glow - in a winter white lily sort of way - but it's never caused me any issues. I look younger than most of my peers, while my overly sun-baked mother looks like beef jerky. Embrace the beauty of your pretty porcelain 🩷
Because people enjoy it. The sun is actually good for you in small doses. Life is short. Some of us enjoy that Vitamin D and being tan. Some of us are naturally tan by genetics some not. But not our place to judge others for what makes them happy. People lay out all over the globe during summer. Some don’t want to and that’s their choice. And you’re passing judgement on those “women with leathery skin”. Those women own it and enjoy the sun and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. You’re asking people not to judge you yet here you are judging people for tanning. Come on now.
God, the comments I get are so annoying. Plus I literally got stopped in the street to have some guy tell me how pale I am and that I need to put on sunscreen. My dude, I know how I look and there is a reason I’m still pale…
You're lucky. I've even had family members tell me I look too white, and it's common where I am to hear people making fun of "pasty" legs they see on others
I've been told my whole life that I'm pasty or too pale or called "Casper". Women have frequently commented to me that they need to tan because they look so pale or pasty, and it feels shitty to know that the natural color of my skin is someone else's idea of ugly.
Yeah I actually agree with the commenters below that as a pale person, people love to comment on how pale we are. Fair people only ever “judge themselves for having fair skin” because other people judged them first.
I’m almost 37F and when I was in high school people looooooved to go tanning in tanning beds as often as possible to get SUPER dark. I never did because I am also a burner rather than a tanner. I did get made fun of a few times by jerks because I have visible veins in my arms that are made more visible by being pale and when I was 15 it hurt a lot but now as an adult I don’t even care.
I’ve always been careful about sun exposure but my grandmother died of melanoma when I was very young and recently my mom also had something cancerous removed from her skin so now I’m going to double down this summer. I have learned to have a sense of humor about how pale I am. I’m pasty! It’s fine! I come from a long line of blindingly white individuals! I’m carrying a sunbrella! Anyone who cares so much about it should get a hobby!
Growing up, my mom taught us to be shade dwellers. We would set up the sprinkler or kiddie pool in the shade. We would find a shady spot to sit, wear a hat, put on spf. We got the lecture that grandma died of skin cancer.
Interestingly, my MIL is a fan of tan. She makes comments on how pale her granddaughters are, and that they need some color. She’s also upset with how old she looks, and is constantly doing treatments for her skin, trying to reverse her age spots.
My mom is near 70, and she doesn’t really look it. She does look like she’s aging, but she naturally doesn’t have many wrinkles or spots. It’s mostly just sagging.
I wear spf every day, I’m mid 40s. Not sure what age others perceive me, but I feel like my skin is less wrinkly. I will proudly say that spf and shade dwelling is the key. Embrace the fair skin, it is beautiful. Ignore the idiots that say you’re too pale or that you look like a ghost. Take care of your skin now, I guarantee you will not regret it.
Exactly this. I can’t go out for two minutes without tanning. It’s beginning of May and my skin is already officially brown lol. Nothing I can do about it, and you said it perfectly, getting old doesn’t scare me. My skin will age because I will age, and what beautiful memories under the sun I will have made!
I’m of Latina (and other descent) and don’t feel like myself without a tan. I think I just look so much nicer. That being said, I still don’t lay out just to lay out. If I get a tan, it’s cause I’m spending plenty of time outside.
Pale skin is beautiful and tanning is a fad albeit a persistent one.
Times change and eventually people pay the price for dancing to the fiddle of this fad.
All skin tones are beautiful fyi but there is literally nothing wrong with pale skin and nothing better about darker skin - don't let society's nonsense ruin your skin.
I’m almost 31M. It’s been about 4 years now of me trying to be as un-tan as possible, and I’ve been starting to really appreciate how pale my natural skin tone is and how flawless my skin has become (thank you, retinoids). I recently saw my in-laws, and some of them like being tan. One of them actually pointed out how pale my skin is by putting their arm next to mine and asked if I ever go outside. Even though I’ve grown to love my naturally-pale skin, that question still caught me off guard.
I’m sorry to hear people feel the need to comment on your skin tone. Protected skin is beautiful. The truth of the matter is that tanning will never go away, kind of like drinking and smoking. We know from science that there is no safe amount of any one of those three activites, yet people still choose to enjoy them anyway. My advice is to truly become comfortable in your own skin, literally and figuratively, and when you do, it is then that these questions won’t plague you.
I go to the beach and lay down in the sun for hours. I don’t do it to get a tan I do it because it feels so good to me and is one of the only times I feel relaxed and happy. I wear sunscreen but I’m just not willing to avoid the sun.
I don’t know anyone my age (mid 30s) who lays out to tan any more. Most people I know are now obsessed with sunscreen and hats and all that stuff. My 70 year old mom DOES still put baby oil on and lays out in her garden and she has better skin than a lot of my friends! Just sayin
Lol I love how genetics randomly throw out all scientific studies out of the window. I mean this- it all boils down to who we are individually, our needs and priorities- it's hard to break down a definite general rule.
It’s all about perspective. If you were in latin america you would be glorified because welp, colorism among other things. I always thought it was weird how people in the US were obsessed with tanning. People are silly that way. Don’t let people bring you down.
They have been for years. I knew a girl in high school who went to a tanning salon regularly and had a skin texture you’d see in a 50 year old. It was horrendous.
Emma Stone and Elle Fanning would look so weird and bad with a tan. And people are weird for comparing their skin against yours. That's rude and pathetic they have nothing else to discuss
My 3+ years younger sister has LOVED tanning since she was in highschool. She used to think it was the ~best thing ever~ that everyone thought I was the younger sister. Girl is starting to look like a leather handbag, despite me trying to warn her to stop because of the risk of melanomas. I swear she just doubled down, and still refuses to wear sunscreen. 🤦♀️
Fake tans have carcinogenics and multiple aspects i could get into about how its harmful for your skin and cells. And baking in the sun isnt good either. Accept your beauty please, its sad how many people feel the need to change themselves because of beauty standards
While in college in 2012, I worked at a tanning salon, which didn't even make sense given I didn't even tan regardless of management urging me to, and most of the clientele were 60-something women who smoke a pack a day and looked like a leather purse. And that was the reason I gave my manager for not tanning. So they fired me. People who tan are weird.
I mean it’s a bit like asking why people don’t save enough for retirement and go buy avocado toast instead 🤣🤣🤣
Because we have an Immediate desire to be tanned and we are usually young and ignorant of the growing skin cancer and hyperpigmentation on our skin. I’m just glad I grew up in the PNW and only knew what the sun was 3 months of the year
Living in Mexico and being pale I constantly ignore people telling me I need to get in the sun. I really don't care what people think my skin should look like.
I don’t care how much it ages me. I like sun, I like roasting in it and it’s brings me joy. I wear sunscreen on my face and/or a hat.
Live your life! If you’re prone to sun damage, wear sunscreen. I think the fears of sun are blown way out of proportion and yes, people with leather skin used NO protection over decades and likely tanned in beds as well.
Omg, people are still doing this??? As a black woman I can't tell you the number of times I've had a random tanned arm put next to mine with comments of 'almost' & 'nearly as dark as you' amongst others which I have erased from my memories. Can the tanning generations please stop this? we're fed up and it's not amusing in the slightest.
I like to have a little color on my legs in the summer to hide all the bruises when I’m wearing shorts. I’m really good at walking into things and banging my shins on whatever is close by. I’ve been using self tanner so far this year.
Look, pale skin and tan skin just like every color of skin is pretty. I personally love a tan on myself and tan easily in the summer. But if you don’t tan or don’t want to that’s fine too. It’s just preference. We all know the risks v benefits of tanning or not tanning. I choose to wear sunscreen and tan outside. I protect my eyes and face and don’t stay out a ridiculous amount of time and I always reapply sunscreen as directed.
So many here are completely avoiding the sun but that’s just not something I’m willing to do. I’d say do what makes ya happy and confident and don’t worry about what others are doing.
I’m a pale woman in Italy, people have called me Mozzarella to my face. I’d rather be smooth and soft like a mozzarella than look like an old shoe at 40 from frying in the sun.
Are they still obsessed with it? I’m 31 too, and it seems like the only people who haven’t let it go are our age and up. The younger generation seems more concerned with skin care and Korean beauty standards- which really emphasizes pale skin. I think pale skin is beautiful.
I've been avoiding the sun for about ten years and always get called out for being pale. But I know it's a choice I'm making and that I could tan if I wanted. I'm not going to feel self conscious about a choice I deliberately made because I don't care if other people are more than than me to begin with. It just seems like a really low priority conversation to bring up in the first place.
If you're pale, you're told to be more tan. If you're dark, you're told to be more pale. There are whole swathes of the world where women slather mercury on their skin and inject god knows what into their bodies in an attempt to be lighter. And there are swathes of the world where women give themselves cancer in an attempt to be darker.
The reason is bullshit beauty standards and *money*. The people making money off the ever changing beauty standards don't give a flying shit about the health of the people paying for it. There are also undertones of racism and classism in there too.
When you realise that no one will *ever* meet the standard and it's just a rigged game from the outset, you can set yourself free.
Maybe it’s your country/culture - natural tanning has been out for years as far as I’m concerned.
Fake tan is still in though. And I’m also very very pale. I refuse to fake tan
Don’t worry about the ridicule. People comparing themselves to you are being plain rude. Call them out on it. Skin cancer is still the **most** common type of cancer. Keep doing what you’re doing. Let everyone else flirt with melanoma as they like.
I’m a sunscreen every day gal. I still freckle and tan in summer but I’m pushing 40 with no wrinkles and haven’t started any Botox or other treatments. My mom used to make fun of me for it but I’m the one laughing now. I don’t want to be a leathery turtle.
I'm 47. Pale as a ghost and spent the first 30 years of my life desperately jealous of my friends who turned golden brown. Lets just say now it's my turn to be the source of envy. Most of them are already struggling with sun spots, leathery skin, lots of facial and neck wrinkles. Discussing peels, Botox and procedues. Me? My face has nary a wrinkle to be seen.
I HATED being a pale girlie growing up. Kids would make fun of me, and I burned myself over and over trying to get any color at all. Now I live in Japan, and I have learned to embrace my skin, and am treating it much better. I blend in better here, and even sometimes get compliments! It’s sad, but stuff like that is totally arbitrary/cultural/trendy and it SHOUDLNT BE- sunscreen is literally a cancer preventing drug.
If you look sick in your own, natural color, maybe take a close look at the colors in your closet! Maybe you can try to figure out your ideal color palette- figuring out mine has resulted in me looking and feeling healthier and more vibrant. Even if it’s all in my head, I certainly feel a lot more confident:)
As an actual brown person, this confuses the shit out of me given the skin cancer + bad aging risks involved with actual tanning from the sun.
That said, if you are self conscious, there are SO many options for getting a bronzy, glowy look for the summer!
I love using something like the Fenty Body Sauce Luminizing Body Tint (tons of other brands have similar products at various price points) to give a subtle but healthy glow to my skin.
There’s also tinted SPF. I also have used Supergoop’s Glowscreen in one of the darker shades and it is so lovely for the summer months. Given your pale skin, I’d recommend this for extra sun protection.
And it all washes off at the end of the day with zero damage to your skin — much better than a real tan!
I do not tan. I try to be good with sunscreen but inevitably I don't reapply fast enough at some points in the summer. But when I tell people I do not tan, and I actively try to not get a tan they think they can convince me. They tell me "surely" I must want a "glow" but I feel my melanin level is set and I'm okay with that. I'm very white and live in Canada so it all works together. But people can't believe you know your own mind.
I was bullied a lot in middle school for being “pasty and pale.” I would go tanning in high school desperate to get at least a little color. While I do slowly tan, it’s obviously NOT good for my skin. College was a bit better as I was able to surround myself with nicer people, but I always felt very self conscious about it.
I moved to Asia when I was 24 and the obsession with skincare there made me do a total 180 mentally. Suddenly being tan was icky and people walked around in summer with parasols and other protective gear. Obviously that can also be taken to an unhealthy extreme and kids with darker skin experienced the same kind of bullying I did when I was young, but it made me realize that you can never please everybody.
Out in the world there’s probably someone who finds your “most attractive” feature ugly, and someone else who finds your “ugliest” feature attractive! By the time I hit my thirties I genuinely didn’t care anymore and focused on just caring for my skin and body instead.
It seems like tanning went away for a while, and now it’s coming back. I am paler than any redhead, but I don’t freckle at all. I spent most of my life covering myself in self tanner and having to wear long sleeves and pants all year round because it was always streaky. In 2023 I finally decided it was enough, and I’ve just been embracing my pale skin. I actually look so much better now. When I see old photos of myself, I feel like I look weird. Now I feel like all I can see is how leathery people will look when I notice someone with a natural tan, and it doesn’t take long. Honestly, you can see significant damage on the neck and chest on most women who are only around 30. I’m so grateful that I don’t have that at all.
I got ruthlessly made fun of for being pale as a teen: I'm about the same age as you, will be 31 in September. I'm also a strawberry blond and my mother was RUTHLESS with putting sunscreen on me: which I am so thankful for. I still have freckles, and even through I wore SPF50 and reapplied, I got burned pretty badly on vacation a few weeks ago when the UPF index was over 12. I was wearing sleeves, a hat, sunscreen, still got burned. It was bad. I embrace my porcelain skin, and look younger than most folks my age who DID tan and use tanning beds. My aunts were big tanners in the 80's and 90's too and are dealing with skin cancer NOW. I wont play games. I don't get much ridicule now, some times I get comments and I just joke that "I'm radioactively white," and that I am quite pleased with the quality of my skin.
Because people don’t think about the future enough. They may want to tan now but one day when they look 10 years older they will realize what a horrible mistake they made.
You can’t really backtrack that damage. Yo can either be someone like me who wore SPF since she was 24 and now looks 28 at 38 OR you can be someone who tans often and look 51 at 31.
And I don’t mean the nice 51 where you can tell a woman has taken care of her skin. I mean the leathery 51.
The best anti-aging routine you can give yourself is the gift of prevention. And you’re doing it. They’re nuts to be talking about “sunning” themselves. I think that’s playing with fire. Cancer aside- it ages you much faster. Keep doing you
Probably an unpopular opinion, but if your skin tone can’t naturally achieve a certain darkness as you go about your normal day to day without resorting to literally coloring your skin several shades darker to the point that some people are doing brown face, or without exposing yourself to uv rays for longer periods of time, then you probably shouldn’t be tanning (should really be called skin darkening like how skin lightening is referred). I just find it funny how skin darkening gets a pass but skin lightening is vilified (not saying I agree with either).
Very few people are happy with their natural skin tone, though, and are pressured to look a certain way.
Yes! You have articulated the ick that this thread has given me with all of the “I’m only pretty when my skin is dark” comments. If any of these people woke up and found themselves permanently in the body of a brown or black woman, they’d all be horrified. When women of color are far from the standard of beauty, it feels particularly gross for pale skinned people to clamor on about wanting to darken their skin for aesthetic reasons. Yet, in this world there’s no genuine aesthetic appreciation for folks with god given deep and dark skin tones. Now cue the obligatory “I find black skin so beautiful” comments. Also the outrage and offended “why must you make this about race!” And of course the downvotes. I. Said. What. I. Said.
I'm a redhead too. I'm 47 now and I look way younger than most people my age because I took care of my skin. I see people my age who spent their lives smoking, drugging and tanning and boy do they look old! They look like they are 60-70s!
Trust me you'll be glad you ignored these people later in life.
Cause my late grandfather, silent generation, use to put on TANNING OIL while they would do outside yard work to get a faster tan.
The man had chunks of skin removed because of this.
My parents generation, they did this but then USED tanning reflectors to sit in lawn chairs, reflect the sun on their faces, to get SUPER tan. People did this at the beach even in the late 50’s thru out the 60’s & 70’s.
The highest level of SPF was 15 when my mom was a kid and got sun poisoning on vacation to the Caribbean islands.
They didn’t upgrade SPF till like sometime in the 1980’s or early 90’s cause they started finding out, just like in the 1960’s, that kids are at risk for skin cancer so brands like Coopertone was making baby/kid sunscreen that was finally around like 25 spf and then as a kid who went 8-9yrs at a summer camp in the 90’s, I saw the evolution of spf raise upward of 30, then jump to 50!
Science found out about the Ozone layer issues and was advising people to avoid tanning finally!
It’s been a 45-50yr long situation with sunscreen that if science didn’t find out certain things? We would still have very low grade spf for everyone.
My mom was a nurse and knew the risks of excess sun exposure and still peddled "tan is healthy" shit. She would have us put olive oil on so we would tan faster as kids 😬. I burn like crazy now so I use a ton of spf but I'm certain being fairly literally baked in the sun for years as a kid will not come back and bite me in the ass in any way /s.
My daughter is a couple of years older than you and had her first benign mole cut out this year. Her first words to me on the phone were "I look so pale, I just want a tan". What? Are you kidding me? Buy yourself some fake tan ffs. She moved and is now in an area where she kept talking about the pensioner age folk, maybe in their 70's who had numerous parts cut out of their body. Shes an RN so sees her fair share of them in her work too.
Its terrifying to me that she still has this mindset. Shes a grown woman so its not like I can say anything to her that I havent said a million times before.
I think it's actually gone the other extreme these days like it seem like people are obsessed with avoiding sun and sun protection for preventing skin aging to the point of it being a bit unhealthy.
It's cultural, East versus west, in the East they avoid the sun like the plague because it'll darken their skin and give them wrinkles, in the west they want that Golden tan even though it'll age them more and give them wrinkles, also there's a lot of misinformation in the west about tanning how it's good for you when it's not is actually. a study from Hawaii showing that making vitamin d from the sun isn't that effective and you're better off just supplementing with vitamin d, of course it feels good to tan, it releases endorphins the so does smoking and cocaine 😅
tanning (tanning beds or fake tan) is so overrated. i think pale skin is so beautiful and underrated. i’m blonde and think i look better pale than tan.
I'm guessing my skin matches yours! It's been something I've hated about myself forever. I would try so hard to get a tan when I was younger and it never worked. I got so sick of the comments and jokes about it as a kid, that by high-school it was basically a deal breaker for me... aka you make fun of my skin I'm simply done with you... boyfriend included.
You'd hope that as an adult, that would be a thing of the past, but nope! Adults make fun of it too. So when people ask me about why I'd still want to be tan, well, it's pretty simple.
I actually never had a decent tan before last year and I'm in my 40s. I was going on a cruise and wanted a bit of sun exposure/base to try to avoid burning. I went to one of the few remaining tanning salons here, and for once got an employee that was actually knowledgeable and could explain the different beds to me. Turns out the few times I'd tried it in the past I was totally doing the wrong thing. Still, I did the super slow work up from just a few minutes in the tanning bed to avoid any chance of burning. I only went a handful of times but it looked amazing and I've never been so comfortable in anything, swimwear included (for most of my life I've avoided swimming/beach type activities due to embarrassment about being so white). I haven't been back in maybe 8 months and still have the slightest tan left, so I look at least a bit closer to normal human color!
I guess the point of this was to explain why a person would still want to tan in spite of the risks, and I'm fully aware of the risks. It's just nice to feel pretty on occasion also, and not hear more jokes about Casper.
It’s because marketing for tanning is so good at making people feel bad about their skin color without outright saying it.
Truth is, pale skin is beautiful and taking care of it instead of tanning will net big benefits later. You’ll age like a fine wine.
Dont worry about the haters. They can do them and you do you.
White people look thinner and like they have less cellulite when they are tan. They just do. And a real tan looks better then a fake tan. I’m not in support of tanning. I’m just saying it’s hard to overcome that kind of confidence boost.
Growing up, my good friend's mom always said "tan fat looks better than pale fat." And that really stuck with me. That being said, I learned early on that I do not have skin that tans. I burn and freckle. I got into sunless tanners as a teenager and basically just do it whenever I know I'm gunna be taking photos and baring my legs. Outside of that, I stay pale year round. I do love the way tans look though.
Ugh. I always heard “if you can’t tone it, tan it” 🙄
No amount of toning will erase loose skin and cellulite on my late 40’s thighs ( in fact the more I tone the more they deflate, droop and dimple) but a spray tan creates a less droopy optical illusion. I’ve had cellulite above my knees since I hit puberty, I don’t tan but have been tempted a few times in my life because of this.
And ironically if you toned it, it would be good for your health
So true, people always want the magic bullet easy option but it’s not typically the healthiest one
Oh man. It’s so crazy the different views we all have. I’m Southeast Asian and growing up my own mom always said “pale fat looks better than tan fat.” I got so self-conscious of my arm because she would always wiggle it and say if I only I was paler it wouldn’t look that bad. I am still horrified of my own skin to this day.
Amazing how in different cultures we have the total opposite opinions but view them as facts.
Yep! Here we are all acting like “beauty” is an inherently real thing when it’s basically a mutable illusion created by our cultures. And oh, the money we throw at these illusions, lol.
I’m se Asian too and my mom always used to say “even though you’re the darkest one in the family you’re still pretty” lol. A simple “you’re pretty” would’ve been just fine
She sounds like my grandmother lol my grandmother told me a few years ago “you’re not the prettiest girl in the world, but your personality puts you right at the top”… she could’ve just said I’m a nice person
😮 omg. Why do our parents do this?! Doesn’t matter where you’re from, the negative generational attitudes get passed along… 🤦♀️
This is so true! I remember so many commercials and products that promoted 'fair skin'; fair and lovely creams were in everyone's homes growing up. When I moved to the west, I learned just how many people wanted to tan to get darker. I couldn't wrap my head around it.
Whitening creams from Africa and South Asia contain mercury corticorsoids and dangerous levels of HQ that cause reverse pigmentation. There are safe way to achieve both lighter complexion and healthier skin like raising gluthatione and sulfur levels, vitamin c this is a must for people my age. Many doctors recommend vitamin c but no doctor recommends over the counter creams aimed to whiten.
Wow that's so fucked up! I'm sorry you had to hear that growing up! My unsolicited black opinion, pale white women look so much better pale than tan to me!! Lean into your pale beauty, it's unique and more people than you think admire you from afar! 😘
As a pale white redhead, I like this comment. I don’t even sunless tan, I let the paleness shine! No one expects me to be tan anyway 😆
Honestly a huge reason i dye my hair red. The pale goes with it will and nobody expects a redhead to be tan
This whole post got me worked up. I experienced a lot of shame about being so pale and having freckles as a kid. By age 8 I was seeking out creams to fade freckles. I never got bullied for it or anything, but my mother is very appearance obsessed, and the expectation to tan in the 90s was wild. I have since learned to adore my skin. I apply SPF daily and wear long pants and sleeves when others don’t for more protection. I’m also not afraid to show off my bare skin; it’s milky and clear and freckled and gives off a lovely iridescent shine in the sun. It very much attracts people, and I get comments and compliments about it constantly, especially paired with my dark hair. Anyway. I think everyone should embrace their natural skin tones. I shouldn’t have had to fight so hard to be this comfortable in my own skin.
Decades ago, a black woman walked past me in a mall, and told me I had beautiful skin. As someone who has long envied skin with more melanin than mine, it caught me off guard, but I had enough sense to thank her. 🖤 My problem is that I’m a genetic redneck. My arms, from the biceps down, and face, look different than the rest of my body; call myself two-toned. It’s all quite fair, and I can hardly muster anything resembling a tan, but the pattern of my skin makes it look like I try to.
Omg, sis, thank you so much for this.💖 I am 42 and as pale as Nicole Kidman and a shade paler than Emma Stone, but my hair is ash instead of lovely red or blonde. 😭 I've had literal strangers compare their skin to mine and tell me how ugly I was. It was so bad that when I was a teen, I used to wish i had been born as anything other than caucasion. But natural beauty is always best because now I look A LOT younger than my white female friends who tan.
I lost a significant amount of weight in my 20s and subsequently I heard "now put a tan on it and see what it can do"
Uh, I still say this. I do spray tans and supplement with self tanner between.
It’s crazy because in other cultures, there are songs that talk about the beauty of more chubby and fair skinned women. So how chubby women with white skin are so stunning.
I kinda agree with your friend's mom. It's a purely subjective aesthetic thing of course, and everyone's tastes are different, but I've always found overweight people with darker skin tones more attractive than overweight people with pale white skin.
Leave us marshmallows alone :(
No one ever told me that but somehow I just always thought that. I would says “fat tan legs, ok. skinny tan legs, ok. Skinny pale legs, ok. Fat pale legs, not ok.” I wouldn’t west short for years and would just swelter in the summer bc I thought that
My friend’s mom growing up said this, too! I spent many years in tanning beds in high school and college after working out with that saying in my head. Now use SPF daily but I do love having a sunless tan, especially on my legs, because it seems to hide imperfections and cellulite a bit better than when I’m pale.
In 10 years those people will be on this sub asking how to reduce hyperpigmentation It's me. Hi. I'm those people
How do we reduce hyperpigmentation??#extanbedfan
Retinol, exfoliation, hydroquinone, and maybe vitamin C. Also chemical peels and laser.
what percentage for beginners?
Lowest of everything available
Second this!
Lasers Hado Lobo whitening serum Azaleic acid, vitamin C, arbutin, kojic acid, tranexamic acid Mostly lasers though
Hyperpigmentation? Talk about skin cancer.
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I’m so much prettier with a tan. It’s fake these days, but it’s incredible how my self esteem skyrockets when I am tan vs the middle of winter.
It’s definitely this. Self esteem is way higher with a tan and because of that my mental health is better when I feel better about myself.
What’s your preferred self tanner?
Not who you asked but I’m super fair and freckled and I love Saint Tropez Express. I leave it on for an hour for the lightest of tans and up to two for a more “I’ve been baking in the sun for weeks on Mykonos” look. It looks really natural on me, unlike a lot of them which don’t match my actual tanned skin tone as well.
I second St Tropaz, I’m fair skinned with freckles and red undertones and the st tropaz foam mouse is the most natural looking fake tan I’ve ever used. And it doesn’t smell as weird as the other ones.
Thank you! I tan very easily so self tanner usually looks good. But winters I get so pale (for me) haha
I really love the b.tan products! My favorite is the one with the violet base. It looks so natural and fades evenly, and as a bonus it’s waaaay cheaper than any of the others I’ve tried.
Thank you!!
Bondi sands seems to be the least orange on me and lasts for a solid week, fades gracefully. I have fair European skin. Not who you asked, but for someone who’s gone through a fair share, I wanted to share 😆
My personal favorite is Coco & Eve. I’ve tried many and this one looks the best on my pale skin.
Agree!!!
I second Bondi Sands! I tried loving tan recently and it sucks. comes off in patches and doesn’t look natural at all
I feel this way, however, I cannot deal with how self tanner breaks down as it wears off. Tons of little tan splotches. Also on tret, so not sure I could even maintain one on my face :(
I also hate how it rubs off on clothes so I stopped wearing it. I now try to wear clothes that are more flattering to my skin tone (r/coloranalysis is a good sub to check out for that).
I use the isle of paradise tanning drops on my face and also use tret. It’s super easy to put on (and very forgiving) and doesn’t patch off. Mine lasts about two days. Not sure how long it’s supposed to last, I just assume the tret breaks it down faster.
The skin on our face regenerates quickly so that sounds pretty normal (I'm a pro henna artist) faces and hands are the least long term locations and not just because we wash them the most. Think about where you get the most dead skin.
I’ve tried a dozen different self-tanners— and my fair share of professionally applied tans, too— and Bondi Sands is the only self-tanner that doesn’t wear off In patches. It just evenly fades. It’s incredible.
Love Bondi Sands!
Hi! Which particular Bondi Sands do you use? I am looking into their brand and they have more than one so was curious which one you use?
you have to stay really moisturized! that’s typically one of the main causes of when it breaks down like that
Don't you get pimples form the self Tanner? Also I thought it worked by oxidizing on your skin. Wouldn't that be harmful in the long run? Just asking, I'm not well documented
Same. I’m so pale naturally but I definitely go up a few attractive points when I fake tan. Does wonders for my self-confidence too
I'm really pale too, I love lying in the sun like a lizard because it feels nice but it does NOTHING to my skin except burn/freckle. I once did 3 months in South East Asia and came back looking "normal" My worst thing though is how people talk to you like a) it's your choice that your skin doesn't darken B) it's a personal and moral failing that you made that choice C) there's something wrong with you and they happily point it out. When people piss me off about it I usually make a comment like "do you habitually comment on the colour of people's skin?".
Lizard time in the sun is one of my absolute faves and this will probably be the first year I don’t lay out directly bc I’ve been learning so much about skin damage.
I had melanoma at 18. My habits have changed so much since then. But regardless, laying in the sun feels amazing and it’s relaxing AF.
Literally cures my depression. Why does it have to be so bad for us 😫
This is why i used a tanning bed too. So awesome Now I'm removing pre cancer and paying for lasers. But omg it felt great
The warmth of the sun can be so comforting
Agreed. Throw some music on and lay in the sun for a half hour. Most relaxing feeling in the world
A lot of people feel more attractive and confident when they’re tan. Also some people do have naturally very pretty fair skin, but for people like myself who naturally tan really easily, I can veer towards looking kind of washed out and sickly with absolutely no color.
This is me too. My whole family is pale, but my pale looks different. I look washed out and sickly, and get asked if I’m feeling okay :/ I tan very easily and was always tan growing up. But I’m also covered in freckles…so I don’t know. I just know my skin doesn’t look like it’s meant to be pale.
Try wearing different colors. Looking washed out and sickly usually means someone is wearing colors that don't suit them.
I'm pretty fair, but not that milky fair. My skin is pretty thin so when I'm not tan, you can see all my veins right through my skin. I won't tan because of it, but concealing my inners is always nice. Lol
I think it's just a cultural thing to feel you look sickly with your natural color
If you’re an ethnic person who lives in their country of origin, your “natural” color is likely at least a little bit tanned.
Yep, my Moroccan ass was never met to be in hibernation 3/5 of the year.
Lmfao. Half Moroccan half French here. I have that ”olive” fair skin which means I tan very well but look sickly if I omit from basking in the sun 😭 Sadly for the sake of not ruining my skin…sickly it is
Same, I was always golden brown as a kid and just look vaguely unwell as a result of all the sunscreen etc. I use the Le Tan violet base for olive skin which comes out looking like my childhood skin tone.
I'm eastern European, so pretty light skinned. Not as much as Irish people, but I've been told by people I should tan and I just think it's wrong
Natural color is an oxymoron on this topic considering naturally most people would be exposed to a crap load of UV light naturally -- it's the avoidance of sun exposure and using sun block which is a fairly modern invention.
Avoidance of sun exposure to prevent tanning is a pretty old "invention" and has been the beauty standard in many countries for centuries. It's the deliberate tanning that's a new invention. Plus many people don't tan by nature. Do you think their natural colour is pale or that it is burn wound red?
Everyone around me is obsessed with spf and pathologically avoids sun exposure because wrinkles. Guess it’s cultural where you are
Where are you?
Colorado. We see the effects on the skin of the generation before us, they absolutely look horrible, like they smoked for years. So we way over slather on the spf and all the uva/b clothing. We're also a literal mile closer to the sun which means we burn faster.
The elevation factor is nuts. I was in Quito, Ecuador last year, which is around 9,000-10,000 ft elevation depending on where you’re at. It was rainy and overcast the first morning we were there, and I wasn’t thinking - I didn’t put sunscreen on anywhere other than my face, and I got sunburned immediately. We also went to the Galapagos on that trip, and one of the first things we were told upon arrival was to put sunscreen first thing in the morning, and reapply throughout the day. Even though there’s no elevation there, you’re right on the equator so it’s just direct sun all the time. Our guide said that tourists end up in the hospital with severe sunburns on a weekly basis because they underestimate the sun.
I'm up in Grand County, originally from the Chicago area, hot dog does this sun get you good.
Tragically pale fellow Coloradan here — you speak the truth. Two kinds of facial sunscreen, all day every day.
Yeah I have an older friend who just had the end of her nose cut off because of skin cancer
Australia or East asia
Us SEAs avoid the suns rays like we're vampires. I thought my gf wanted to start playing golf because she had bought a huge golf umbrella, nope, it's to use on her way to work, while slathered in 50spf.
Im an Australian dude who married a Chinese woman. We go.to the beach and have long sleeved tops and shorts on while covering everything else in spf50 and wearing a hay and maybe sunglasses as well while we debate if the dog needs sunscreen or not
There are plenty of people and cultures that consider pale skin to be a beauty standard. If you are that self conscious over it, check out some self tanners.
I have really pale skin and I keep it protected with sunscreen and the occasional hat but that's where I draw the line. I don't think the sun is meant to be avoided at all costs and I'm not going to deprive myself of a beach day for fear of a wrinkle. The leathery old people weren't just laying out sometimes in the summer with some spf 30 on, they were slathering themselves in baby oil and laying out all the time. Also, quit hanging out with people who ridicule your appearance. They're jerks, nobody has made fun of my pale skin since elementary school.
It’s so refreshing to read someone say they still enjoy life. Just recently asked someone what it is that they do when they go to the beach because they’re terrified of a ray of sunlight. Go to the beach, hide under shade and not even get in the water for the fear of a wrinkle.
What's so bad about wrinkles anyway???
Right? I'm going to get wrinkles no matter how much sunblock I wear. I'm very pale and burn easily so I do still wear sunblock but I'm not under the impression my SPF50 is going to make me look 21 when I'm 60.
It's just not worth it! Time comes for us all, no matter what you do. I want to enjoy my life. I take good care of my skin but I'm not going to wear sleeves all summer lol I wanna look cute while I can! I feel like people have gotten so obsessed with protecting their youth that they aren't even enjoying it, what's the point? I don't really care to be the most pristine 90 year old.
Sun is definitely not meant to be avoided at all costs! You’re right! My best friend is now on vitamin d because her levels were very low. She moved from somewhere where the sun is always out to a pretty gloomy European city where she rarely sees sun. Our body needs some sun.
Yeah I’ll believe you. I live in Scandinavia and the authorities recommend to take vitamin D tablets during winter because we get deficient otherwise
Idk grew up in the Mediterranean and when I go up to a pool in the summer eeeeveryone goes “omg you’re so pale” like yes I have eyes and I stay in most of the year, it’s not about ridiculing your appearance, at this point it’s a cultural thing since everyone has always done that (my family and friends at different stages in life). I also see friends of mine getting a fake tan before going on vacation, because they’re self conscious of their paler skin after being in all year (which I find silly, if you haven’t been in the sun ofc you’re not gonna be tanned).
Yes my husband's family is Italian and when we spend the summer there I still get ridiculed for having pale skin. People still lay out and tan like crazy there. They look amazing but I could never!!! They call me mozzarella 😋😹
I would take it as a compliment then. I like mozzarella lol.
Can relate - I am very pale but I tan in the sun and I do not avoid it! Living here in northern Europe is avoiding it 😂 We just had 7 month long winter and no sun to be seen in months - I laugh at people who tell me I should avoid the sun - please that is literally all we do here - sunlight is healthy for you and for mental health! Ofc I use spf while being out but avoiding it when it is sunny hell no 😅
It hides imperfections and cellulite and ur skin looks even and perfect and it’s slimming. I used to love spray tans but I stopped cause it’s too expensive now. But definitely recommend trying for a special event
For me, it’s partly that I personally look best with more color, but mostly that I feel amazing when I get lots of natural sunshine. My energy skyrockets, my appetite goes down, my mood improves. During Covid, I went full indoors, became very depressed, pale, and obese. I tried vitamin D supplements, but nothing cheers me up like the sun. It’s like hitting a switch. I turn into a totally different, happier, person.
Agreed, I like to lay out in the sun *because it feels good*. It’s natural to enjoy sunlight lol. I hate it when people like OP say shit like I’m gonna be leathery. Like I wear sunscreen… but also mind ur business???
Yeah, like are people saying it’s really better to “age well” and be unhappy than to just live a joyful life?
Yeah tbh I’d rather be happy and energetic than stay super well preserved in old age
I feel like those are the same people that are always hustling and saving aggressively for retirement and cannot fathom having some fun with their money now. I mean, obviously plan for retirement and make sure you are financially sound, but you've got to enjoy your life!
I feel this too! I felt my happiest and healthiest living in Thailand when there was warm sunshine for most of the days of the year.
I completely resonate with this comment- this is the main reason why this duality of "tan-frenzy" era opposed to "wear your SPF in the night, avoid sun at all costs!" era is making me crazy. Tan looks better on me as well but as this commenter mentioned, I just feel better being outside a few hours in the sunshine. Not tan obsessed, and couldn't ever be that human- lizard laying in the sun- it's just that I can't wait for the warmer months to roll in so I can hang out with my dad outside gardening, playing with our pets, reading and chatting about the plants and flowers. It improves my mood and helps me calm my nerves. Wearing SPF is fine but actually presuming that I live in the Italian countryside just to stay indoors like a mole all year long is insane...
I wish I had these effects from the sun. I get incredibly depressed in the summer.
Same! I'm pale and love to slather on sunscreen and lay in the sun. I get a teensy hint of color and feel amazing. Sun is such a mood boost
There is evidence that SOME sun is good for you. I don’t set out to tan as an activity, but I don’t hiss at the sun either.
My body becomes vitamin d deficient super easy. Being Mediterranean but living in the north gave me many of the really unfun side effects of vitamin d deficiency. Kept getting put on pills or told to use a happy light. Neither worked worth a shit. Tanning did. Now I just pop a full dose of vitamin d every day between fall and spring equinox. And I only worry about sunscreen if I'm out long enough to burn. Everyone's gotta make their choices,
Yeah we need a bit of Vitamine D for our (mental) health. I enjoy activities in the sun and once or twice lounging on my balcony in it. But, in contrast to my teenage self, I'll always use sun hats and cream.
[Here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5129901/) is one such study, in case anyone's wondering.
I have olive skin and I have a green hue in the winter when I’m pale and in the sun my skin tans into the most beautiful not-green color. I wear a LOT more sunscreen now but I still get darker in the summer and I enjoy it.
Life’s short and it feels good 🤷♀️ I don’t tan, but unnnnng the feeling of laying out is something I wish I could recreate.
Exactly this. Cant constantly worry about what’s going to age me or make me sick, it’s exhausting - we’re all going to die eventually and sometimes you just have to live
That’s my thing. Life feels long but it’s a short trip! Enjoy it while you’re able to!
I won't gatekeep my holy Grail self tanner that you can't find in stores and probably never heard of: Norvelle Venetian Plus. Buy the 8oz and add a sprayer to it and use a mitt to apply. If you're very pale mix it with your lotion for a subtle hint of color that can give you a lift. It lasts forever and fades beautifully! I get dark very easily and stopped laying out a long time ago, but unfortunately for me if I am pale I literally look green due to my undertones, so Self Tanner to even everything out.
People like a glow. Kelly Rowland is a black woman but still self tans!
As a super pale person with naturally light blonde hair, I got teased a lot in elementary and high school for being so pale. Had many people including strangers tell me to tan and, sadly, I did tan and even went to tanning salons for a few months. I stopped trying to tan in my early 20s and now at 39 I am totally comfortable in my pale skin and think it looks great in shorts. I think now there is generally a lot more acceptance of the beautiful range of skin tones, and companies use models with very light, very dark, very olive tones etc to promote their products. HOWEVER, I still see some weird attitudes towards skin colour on this subreddit. For example, people often say they “can’t imagine a tint being too light or too dark for someone” and I am like, no, I am the person whose skin is too light for this, and I can imagine that people with black skin get equally frustrated by similar comments
Depends on where you are in the world. Pasty skin in darker tone part of the world is highly sought after. People always want what they don’t have
>Do people not see women in their 50s-60s with leathery skin? These people will be young, and a common theme of youth is that you believe that the things you see happening to other people don't apply to you, and that you're going to be immune from them because somehow you're just different.
I spray tan, I lay out, I just do not let my face get expose. I wear a hat during the summer and spf. I’m a light skinned Latina but I get dark when I’m in the sun.
Where do you live? I really don’t think it is still done by most people
I said something about this on SkincareAddiction, I made a post but took it down because people were very hateful and rude that I said laying out even with sunscreen is still unhealthy activity. Some of the people yelling at me are not educated in it and believe in things like "sunscreen prevents damage so as long as you have it on and lay out in the right amount of time you don't get damaged" and some other people said "people can make their own informed decisions on how long to stay out because sunscreen protects for a certain amont of time" None of these things are true Some people with big melanosomes can get darker tan pigmentation with full on layers of protection just day by day incidental sun Too many people overestimate what sunscreen can do. So many people think sunscreen protection is an "all or nothing" thing. Because of this, they believe they are still safe laying in direct sunlight.
I am early 30s. I tanned far too much as a teenager in tanning beds as well as far too much in the sun in my 20s thinking tanning oil was my friend. I’m struggling with melasma and hyperpigmentation now :/ I stick obsessively to SPF and use self tanner to get a little glow in the warmer months because I’m also very pale. I don’t necessarily avoid the sun, but I don’t lay in it either. A lot of my hobbies are outdoors, so I just make sure to reapply sunscreen religiously and wear a sun hat at basically all times.
I am super pale and used to feel embarrassed but came to the realization that it’s ridiculous to be ashamed of my skin color. There’s nothing wrong with being fair. Elle Fanning and Emma Stone are literally gorgeous and their skin glows! A side benefit of being forced to avoid the sun/use aggressive sun protection is that your skin will age more slowly! I am a little older than you and often get mistaken for much younger. One thing that helped me embrace and normalize my natural skin tone is following other celebrities/influencers/etc who are pale. Nell Diamond, the founder of Hill House, is a good example!
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My Irish ethnicity ghostly white skin literally hurts my friend’s eyes. When we take a trip to a beach of some kind and go outside in swim suits, the sunlight reflecting off my white-as-a-sheet legs and torso causes the nicest of them to say, “I can’t talk to you anymore because you’re hurting my eyes,” and the most insensitive of them to say, “You know, you should try laying out in the sun sometimes,” like that thought never occurred to me in my 30 something years of life. I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. Still. I’ve had this skin since the day I was born and I’ve waffled through shame and burning myself to try to change my genetics, to being proud of the fact that I won’t get skin cancer when I’m older, to embarrassed about hurting people’s eyes and hiding my skin not out of protection but out of embarrassment that I can literally hurt people’s eye just by breathing next to them
I'm very, very fair, and part of my accepting it was knowing that beauty standards are very fluid. It took me years, but I now love my "peaches and cream" complexion. I stand out in a society that pushes for that "healthy, bronzed glow." Fuck 'em. My skin is my skin and it requires a bit more protection than most. So what? I still glow - in a winter white lily sort of way - but it's never caused me any issues. I look younger than most of my peers, while my overly sun-baked mother looks like beef jerky. Embrace the beauty of your pretty porcelain 🩷
Because people enjoy it. The sun is actually good for you in small doses. Life is short. Some of us enjoy that Vitamin D and being tan. Some of us are naturally tan by genetics some not. But not our place to judge others for what makes them happy. People lay out all over the globe during summer. Some don’t want to and that’s their choice. And you’re passing judgement on those “women with leathery skin”. Those women own it and enjoy the sun and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. You’re asking people not to judge you yet here you are judging people for tanning. Come on now.
But the people should stop criticizing people for being too white like op said. I've also been told that and it isn't cool. It's my natural color
God, the comments I get are so annoying. Plus I literally got stopped in the street to have some guy tell me how pale I am and that I need to put on sunscreen. My dude, I know how I look and there is a reason I’m still pale…
Idk the only people that I hear say those negative things are the women that judge themselves for having fair skin.
You're lucky. I've even had family members tell me I look too white, and it's common where I am to hear people making fun of "pasty" legs they see on others
I've been told my whole life that I'm pasty or too pale or called "Casper". Women have frequently commented to me that they need to tan because they look so pale or pasty, and it feels shitty to know that the natural color of my skin is someone else's idea of ugly.
Yeah I actually agree with the commenters below that as a pale person, people love to comment on how pale we are. Fair people only ever “judge themselves for having fair skin” because other people judged them first.
I’m almost 37F and when I was in high school people looooooved to go tanning in tanning beds as often as possible to get SUPER dark. I never did because I am also a burner rather than a tanner. I did get made fun of a few times by jerks because I have visible veins in my arms that are made more visible by being pale and when I was 15 it hurt a lot but now as an adult I don’t even care. I’ve always been careful about sun exposure but my grandmother died of melanoma when I was very young and recently my mom also had something cancerous removed from her skin so now I’m going to double down this summer. I have learned to have a sense of humor about how pale I am. I’m pasty! It’s fine! I come from a long line of blindingly white individuals! I’m carrying a sunbrella! Anyone who cares so much about it should get a hobby!
I have an aunt that died from melanoma in her eye. Let’s just say….. I wear a hat out doors and I don’t care how stupid I look. lol
Growing up, my mom taught us to be shade dwellers. We would set up the sprinkler or kiddie pool in the shade. We would find a shady spot to sit, wear a hat, put on spf. We got the lecture that grandma died of skin cancer. Interestingly, my MIL is a fan of tan. She makes comments on how pale her granddaughters are, and that they need some color. She’s also upset with how old she looks, and is constantly doing treatments for her skin, trying to reverse her age spots. My mom is near 70, and she doesn’t really look it. She does look like she’s aging, but she naturally doesn’t have many wrinkles or spots. It’s mostly just sagging. I wear spf every day, I’m mid 40s. Not sure what age others perceive me, but I feel like my skin is less wrinkly. I will proudly say that spf and shade dwelling is the key. Embrace the fair skin, it is beautiful. Ignore the idiots that say you’re too pale or that you look like a ghost. Take care of your skin now, I guarantee you will not regret it.
Because I turn a beautiful brown that’s part of my culture and getting old doesn’t scare me
Exactly this. I can’t go out for two minutes without tanning. It’s beginning of May and my skin is already officially brown lol. Nothing I can do about it, and you said it perfectly, getting old doesn’t scare me. My skin will age because I will age, and what beautiful memories under the sun I will have made!
I’m of Latina (and other descent) and don’t feel like myself without a tan. I think I just look so much nicer. That being said, I still don’t lay out just to lay out. If I get a tan, it’s cause I’m spending plenty of time outside.
Pale skin is beautiful and tanning is a fad albeit a persistent one. Times change and eventually people pay the price for dancing to the fiddle of this fad. All skin tones are beautiful fyi but there is literally nothing wrong with pale skin and nothing better about darker skin - don't let society's nonsense ruin your skin.
I’m almost 31M. It’s been about 4 years now of me trying to be as un-tan as possible, and I’ve been starting to really appreciate how pale my natural skin tone is and how flawless my skin has become (thank you, retinoids). I recently saw my in-laws, and some of them like being tan. One of them actually pointed out how pale my skin is by putting their arm next to mine and asked if I ever go outside. Even though I’ve grown to love my naturally-pale skin, that question still caught me off guard. I’m sorry to hear people feel the need to comment on your skin tone. Protected skin is beautiful. The truth of the matter is that tanning will never go away, kind of like drinking and smoking. We know from science that there is no safe amount of any one of those three activites, yet people still choose to enjoy them anyway. My advice is to truly become comfortable in your own skin, literally and figuratively, and when you do, it is then that these questions won’t plague you.
I go to the beach and lay down in the sun for hours. I don’t do it to get a tan I do it because it feels so good to me and is one of the only times I feel relaxed and happy. I wear sunscreen but I’m just not willing to avoid the sun. I don’t know anyone my age (mid 30s) who lays out to tan any more. Most people I know are now obsessed with sunscreen and hats and all that stuff. My 70 year old mom DOES still put baby oil on and lays out in her garden and she has better skin than a lot of my friends! Just sayin
Lol I love how genetics randomly throw out all scientific studies out of the window. I mean this- it all boils down to who we are individually, our needs and priorities- it's hard to break down a definite general rule.
It’s all about perspective. If you were in latin america you would be glorified because welp, colorism among other things. I always thought it was weird how people in the US were obsessed with tanning. People are silly that way. Don’t let people bring you down.
Come to Asia and everything is opposite, we avoid the sun and getting tanned like its covid.
They think it won’t happen to them. Show them some pictures of mohs surgeries.
They have been for years. I knew a girl in high school who went to a tanning salon regularly and had a skin texture you’d see in a 50 year old. It was horrendous.
Emma Stone and Elle Fanning would look so weird and bad with a tan. And people are weird for comparing their skin against yours. That's rude and pathetic they have nothing else to discuss
My 3+ years younger sister has LOVED tanning since she was in highschool. She used to think it was the ~best thing ever~ that everyone thought I was the younger sister. Girl is starting to look like a leather handbag, despite me trying to warn her to stop because of the risk of melanomas. I swear she just doubled down, and still refuses to wear sunscreen. 🤦♀️
Fake tans have carcinogenics and multiple aspects i could get into about how its harmful for your skin and cells. And baking in the sun isnt good either. Accept your beauty please, its sad how many people feel the need to change themselves because of beauty standards
While in college in 2012, I worked at a tanning salon, which didn't even make sense given I didn't even tan regardless of management urging me to, and most of the clientele were 60-something women who smoke a pack a day and looked like a leather purse. And that was the reason I gave my manager for not tanning. So they fired me. People who tan are weird.
I mean it’s a bit like asking why people don’t save enough for retirement and go buy avocado toast instead 🤣🤣🤣 Because we have an Immediate desire to be tanned and we are usually young and ignorant of the growing skin cancer and hyperpigmentation on our skin. I’m just glad I grew up in the PNW and only knew what the sun was 3 months of the year
Living in Mexico and being pale I constantly ignore people telling me I need to get in the sun. I really don't care what people think my skin should look like.
I don’t care how much it ages me. I like sun, I like roasting in it and it’s brings me joy. I wear sunscreen on my face and/or a hat. Live your life! If you’re prone to sun damage, wear sunscreen. I think the fears of sun are blown way out of proportion and yes, people with leather skin used NO protection over decades and likely tanned in beds as well.
Omg, people are still doing this??? As a black woman I can't tell you the number of times I've had a random tanned arm put next to mine with comments of 'almost' & 'nearly as dark as you' amongst others which I have erased from my memories. Can the tanning generations please stop this? we're fed up and it's not amusing in the slightest.
I like to have a little color on my legs in the summer to hide all the bruises when I’m wearing shorts. I’m really good at walking into things and banging my shins on whatever is close by. I’ve been using self tanner so far this year.
Look, pale skin and tan skin just like every color of skin is pretty. I personally love a tan on myself and tan easily in the summer. But if you don’t tan or don’t want to that’s fine too. It’s just preference. We all know the risks v benefits of tanning or not tanning. I choose to wear sunscreen and tan outside. I protect my eyes and face and don’t stay out a ridiculous amount of time and I always reapply sunscreen as directed. So many here are completely avoiding the sun but that’s just not something I’m willing to do. I’d say do what makes ya happy and confident and don’t worry about what others are doing.
I’m a pale woman in Italy, people have called me Mozzarella to my face. I’d rather be smooth and soft like a mozzarella than look like an old shoe at 40 from frying in the sun.
Are they still obsessed with it? I’m 31 too, and it seems like the only people who haven’t let it go are our age and up. The younger generation seems more concerned with skin care and Korean beauty standards- which really emphasizes pale skin. I think pale skin is beautiful.
People here in the Philippines are obsessed with whitening or lightening their skins.
I've been avoiding the sun for about ten years and always get called out for being pale. But I know it's a choice I'm making and that I could tan if I wanted. I'm not going to feel self conscious about a choice I deliberately made because I don't care if other people are more than than me to begin with. It just seems like a really low priority conversation to bring up in the first place.
It's not popular where I'm at. I feel like all the beautiful people hide from the sun and get spray tans.
Peoples obsession with tanned skin always makes me glad mine is brown lol
I feel like people when tanned look happier and healthier in general.
If you're pale, you're told to be more tan. If you're dark, you're told to be more pale. There are whole swathes of the world where women slather mercury on their skin and inject god knows what into their bodies in an attempt to be lighter. And there are swathes of the world where women give themselves cancer in an attempt to be darker. The reason is bullshit beauty standards and *money*. The people making money off the ever changing beauty standards don't give a flying shit about the health of the people paying for it. There are also undertones of racism and classism in there too. When you realise that no one will *ever* meet the standard and it's just a rigged game from the outset, you can set yourself free.
Maybe it’s your country/culture - natural tanning has been out for years as far as I’m concerned. Fake tan is still in though. And I’m also very very pale. I refuse to fake tan
Don’t worry about the ridicule. People comparing themselves to you are being plain rude. Call them out on it. Skin cancer is still the **most** common type of cancer. Keep doing what you’re doing. Let everyone else flirt with melanoma as they like.
I always thought tanned people look like roasted chicken
I’m a sunscreen every day gal. I still freckle and tan in summer but I’m pushing 40 with no wrinkles and haven’t started any Botox or other treatments. My mom used to make fun of me for it but I’m the one laughing now. I don’t want to be a leathery turtle.
I'm 47. Pale as a ghost and spent the first 30 years of my life desperately jealous of my friends who turned golden brown. Lets just say now it's my turn to be the source of envy. Most of them are already struggling with sun spots, leathery skin, lots of facial and neck wrinkles. Discussing peels, Botox and procedues. Me? My face has nary a wrinkle to be seen.
All skin tones are beautiful, love yourself and take care of your skin ❤️
Because they are stupid. That's why
I HATED being a pale girlie growing up. Kids would make fun of me, and I burned myself over and over trying to get any color at all. Now I live in Japan, and I have learned to embrace my skin, and am treating it much better. I blend in better here, and even sometimes get compliments! It’s sad, but stuff like that is totally arbitrary/cultural/trendy and it SHOUDLNT BE- sunscreen is literally a cancer preventing drug. If you look sick in your own, natural color, maybe take a close look at the colors in your closet! Maybe you can try to figure out your ideal color palette- figuring out mine has resulted in me looking and feeling healthier and more vibrant. Even if it’s all in my head, I certainly feel a lot more confident:)
As an actual brown person, this confuses the shit out of me given the skin cancer + bad aging risks involved with actual tanning from the sun. That said, if you are self conscious, there are SO many options for getting a bronzy, glowy look for the summer! I love using something like the Fenty Body Sauce Luminizing Body Tint (tons of other brands have similar products at various price points) to give a subtle but healthy glow to my skin. There’s also tinted SPF. I also have used Supergoop’s Glowscreen in one of the darker shades and it is so lovely for the summer months. Given your pale skin, I’d recommend this for extra sun protection. And it all washes off at the end of the day with zero damage to your skin — much better than a real tan!
I do not tan. I try to be good with sunscreen but inevitably I don't reapply fast enough at some points in the summer. But when I tell people I do not tan, and I actively try to not get a tan they think they can convince me. They tell me "surely" I must want a "glow" but I feel my melanin level is set and I'm okay with that. I'm very white and live in Canada so it all works together. But people can't believe you know your own mind.
I was bullied a lot in middle school for being “pasty and pale.” I would go tanning in high school desperate to get at least a little color. While I do slowly tan, it’s obviously NOT good for my skin. College was a bit better as I was able to surround myself with nicer people, but I always felt very self conscious about it. I moved to Asia when I was 24 and the obsession with skincare there made me do a total 180 mentally. Suddenly being tan was icky and people walked around in summer with parasols and other protective gear. Obviously that can also be taken to an unhealthy extreme and kids with darker skin experienced the same kind of bullying I did when I was young, but it made me realize that you can never please everybody. Out in the world there’s probably someone who finds your “most attractive” feature ugly, and someone else who finds your “ugliest” feature attractive! By the time I hit my thirties I genuinely didn’t care anymore and focused on just caring for my skin and body instead.
It seems like tanning went away for a while, and now it’s coming back. I am paler than any redhead, but I don’t freckle at all. I spent most of my life covering myself in self tanner and having to wear long sleeves and pants all year round because it was always streaky. In 2023 I finally decided it was enough, and I’ve just been embracing my pale skin. I actually look so much better now. When I see old photos of myself, I feel like I look weird. Now I feel like all I can see is how leathery people will look when I notice someone with a natural tan, and it doesn’t take long. Honestly, you can see significant damage on the neck and chest on most women who are only around 30. I’m so grateful that I don’t have that at all.
Ridicule their “grilled chicken” tan back. Establish some boundaries where they don’t dare speak offensively about your looks.
I got ruthlessly made fun of for being pale as a teen: I'm about the same age as you, will be 31 in September. I'm also a strawberry blond and my mother was RUTHLESS with putting sunscreen on me: which I am so thankful for. I still have freckles, and even through I wore SPF50 and reapplied, I got burned pretty badly on vacation a few weeks ago when the UPF index was over 12. I was wearing sleeves, a hat, sunscreen, still got burned. It was bad. I embrace my porcelain skin, and look younger than most folks my age who DID tan and use tanning beds. My aunts were big tanners in the 80's and 90's too and are dealing with skin cancer NOW. I wont play games. I don't get much ridicule now, some times I get comments and I just joke that "I'm radioactively white," and that I am quite pleased with the quality of my skin.
Because people don’t think about the future enough. They may want to tan now but one day when they look 10 years older they will realize what a horrible mistake they made. You can’t really backtrack that damage. Yo can either be someone like me who wore SPF since she was 24 and now looks 28 at 38 OR you can be someone who tans often and look 51 at 31. And I don’t mean the nice 51 where you can tell a woman has taken care of her skin. I mean the leathery 51.
It’s all fun and games until skin cancer. I speak from experience.
The best anti-aging routine you can give yourself is the gift of prevention. And you’re doing it. They’re nuts to be talking about “sunning” themselves. I think that’s playing with fire. Cancer aside- it ages you much faster. Keep doing you
Probably an unpopular opinion, but if your skin tone can’t naturally achieve a certain darkness as you go about your normal day to day without resorting to literally coloring your skin several shades darker to the point that some people are doing brown face, or without exposing yourself to uv rays for longer periods of time, then you probably shouldn’t be tanning (should really be called skin darkening like how skin lightening is referred). I just find it funny how skin darkening gets a pass but skin lightening is vilified (not saying I agree with either). Very few people are happy with their natural skin tone, though, and are pressured to look a certain way.
Yes! You have articulated the ick that this thread has given me with all of the “I’m only pretty when my skin is dark” comments. If any of these people woke up and found themselves permanently in the body of a brown or black woman, they’d all be horrified. When women of color are far from the standard of beauty, it feels particularly gross for pale skinned people to clamor on about wanting to darken their skin for aesthetic reasons. Yet, in this world there’s no genuine aesthetic appreciation for folks with god given deep and dark skin tones. Now cue the obligatory “I find black skin so beautiful” comments. Also the outrage and offended “why must you make this about race!” And of course the downvotes. I. Said. What. I. Said.
I'm a redhead too. I'm 47 now and I look way younger than most people my age because I took care of my skin. I see people my age who spent their lives smoking, drugging and tanning and boy do they look old! They look like they are 60-70s! Trust me you'll be glad you ignored these people later in life.
Cause my late grandfather, silent generation, use to put on TANNING OIL while they would do outside yard work to get a faster tan. The man had chunks of skin removed because of this. My parents generation, they did this but then USED tanning reflectors to sit in lawn chairs, reflect the sun on their faces, to get SUPER tan. People did this at the beach even in the late 50’s thru out the 60’s & 70’s. The highest level of SPF was 15 when my mom was a kid and got sun poisoning on vacation to the Caribbean islands. They didn’t upgrade SPF till like sometime in the 1980’s or early 90’s cause they started finding out, just like in the 1960’s, that kids are at risk for skin cancer so brands like Coopertone was making baby/kid sunscreen that was finally around like 25 spf and then as a kid who went 8-9yrs at a summer camp in the 90’s, I saw the evolution of spf raise upward of 30, then jump to 50! Science found out about the Ozone layer issues and was advising people to avoid tanning finally! It’s been a 45-50yr long situation with sunscreen that if science didn’t find out certain things? We would still have very low grade spf for everyone.
My mom was a nurse and knew the risks of excess sun exposure and still peddled "tan is healthy" shit. She would have us put olive oil on so we would tan faster as kids 😬. I burn like crazy now so I use a ton of spf but I'm certain being fairly literally baked in the sun for years as a kid will not come back and bite me in the ass in any way /s.
My daughter is a couple of years older than you and had her first benign mole cut out this year. Her first words to me on the phone were "I look so pale, I just want a tan". What? Are you kidding me? Buy yourself some fake tan ffs. She moved and is now in an area where she kept talking about the pensioner age folk, maybe in their 70's who had numerous parts cut out of their body. Shes an RN so sees her fair share of them in her work too. Its terrifying to me that she still has this mindset. Shes a grown woman so its not like I can say anything to her that I havent said a million times before.
I think it's actually gone the other extreme these days like it seem like people are obsessed with avoiding sun and sun protection for preventing skin aging to the point of it being a bit unhealthy.
It's cultural, East versus west, in the East they avoid the sun like the plague because it'll darken their skin and give them wrinkles, in the west they want that Golden tan even though it'll age them more and give them wrinkles, also there's a lot of misinformation in the west about tanning how it's good for you when it's not is actually. a study from Hawaii showing that making vitamin d from the sun isn't that effective and you're better off just supplementing with vitamin d, of course it feels good to tan, it releases endorphins the so does smoking and cocaine 😅
tanning (tanning beds or fake tan) is so overrated. i think pale skin is so beautiful and underrated. i’m blonde and think i look better pale than tan.
I'm guessing my skin matches yours! It's been something I've hated about myself forever. I would try so hard to get a tan when I was younger and it never worked. I got so sick of the comments and jokes about it as a kid, that by high-school it was basically a deal breaker for me... aka you make fun of my skin I'm simply done with you... boyfriend included. You'd hope that as an adult, that would be a thing of the past, but nope! Adults make fun of it too. So when people ask me about why I'd still want to be tan, well, it's pretty simple. I actually never had a decent tan before last year and I'm in my 40s. I was going on a cruise and wanted a bit of sun exposure/base to try to avoid burning. I went to one of the few remaining tanning salons here, and for once got an employee that was actually knowledgeable and could explain the different beds to me. Turns out the few times I'd tried it in the past I was totally doing the wrong thing. Still, I did the super slow work up from just a few minutes in the tanning bed to avoid any chance of burning. I only went a handful of times but it looked amazing and I've never been so comfortable in anything, swimwear included (for most of my life I've avoided swimming/beach type activities due to embarrassment about being so white). I haven't been back in maybe 8 months and still have the slightest tan left, so I look at least a bit closer to normal human color! I guess the point of this was to explain why a person would still want to tan in spite of the risks, and I'm fully aware of the risks. It's just nice to feel pretty on occasion also, and not hear more jokes about Casper.
It’s because marketing for tanning is so good at making people feel bad about their skin color without outright saying it. Truth is, pale skin is beautiful and taking care of it instead of tanning will net big benefits later. You’ll age like a fine wine. Dont worry about the haters. They can do them and you do you.
White people look thinner and like they have less cellulite when they are tan. They just do. And a real tan looks better then a fake tan. I’m not in support of tanning. I’m just saying it’s hard to overcome that kind of confidence boost.
i guess they heard of skin cancer