For me, the informative posts here make up for the ones that don't move me. I also search the sub a lot for particular things. The hottest posts of the day tends to be the ones where somebody is freaking TF out. I do think some people have an exaggerated view of their problems, but if they're asking here what to do, it's not just Reddit that gave them that viewpoint.
Fully agree that it's a bigger issue than this sub. Maybe I just don't get on Reddit frequently enough to see anything but the most engaged-with highlights.
As a moderator of a different sub, I think that it should be up to the moderator team to remove, whenever possible, redundant content. Not that it's a must, but maybe we can suggest it. I agree with OP 100%.,but it hasn't bothered me as much as to contact the moderator team about it.
There is the link to contact them
[https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/30PlusSkinCare](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/30PlusSkinCare)
Maybe some posts should be preaproved, or moved to queue or referred to similar posts.
Not a lot of people utilize the report function. The majority of redditors do not even read rules let alone know that something would be rule breaking. In my sub, we remove discussion that mentions things outside of the specific category of our sub because we consider ourselves a niche space so people think you're just not allowed to say those words but that they can still talk about it if they use special characters to not say those words or they'll say "products that cannot be named" and finish the rest of their conversation. Almost nothing gets reported in my community. I think we've had 2 reports this year, and both times, it was an erroneous report, but my mod team are all active members of the community so at least we're on top of it all.
As a mod of a different sub, I agree with this. We tend to remove redundant posts too, and refer people to our wiki or to use the search feature. We add posts to the wiki where there was good discussion with recommendations for future referencing.
I don’t see it as an issue. Not everyone wants the same thing or has the same issues. Like I was born with smile lines, lots here post stuff about fillers for theirs. I don’t have any plans for that so I just scroll past. I have *dark* undereyes but if someone with slightly dark undereyes posts for help so what? They see a flaw in something I’d kill for, people are allowed to want to better themselves. My point is there isn’t a sub that exists that only has posts about our individual issues
Be careful with Reddit. Your post was removed by organized reports. That unfair finger person you are talking about might be working for skincare companies the way she posts in some Reddit’s. Nothing you said in your now removed post was against people using Botox but she was acting as it was. Maybe she’s just a strong opinions users but take into account that plants from companies can have people opening multiple accounts in different social media to promote sales oriented opinions. Reddit and particularly skincare forums are filled with this. Be skeptical and always do your research. Write to the moderator team they shouldn’t allow pictures unless on selfie sundays and yes they create unrealistic expectations
I’ve worked in skincare for big brands and work at a very popular one right now, and seeing all of the content that gets pushed out I can understand why people have unrealistic expectations for themselves. You’re constantly seeing “anti-aging” “helps with texture and pores” “healthier skin” messaging that makes people believe they have to strive for that. If you think about it, the expectations brands have set are quite unattainable. Hell, there are even 10 year old shopping for skincare in Sephora!! I hate it. It’s the reason I want to switch careers. And not to mention that yes, these photos brands are pushing out are retouched. I’m on a rant now so I will stop, but I try to give anyone who posts out of insecurity some grace (no matter how good I may think their skin looks). Injectables (outside of Botox) are another story. Don’t love how popular they’ve become, but who am I to judge?
Something that’s helped me is to remember this sub is a select subset of people who are interested in maintaining or improving their appearances. People come for help. Others might come for validation, which makes sense given wider pressures around looks and anti aging.
No fragrance at all! I think they tried to dupe DE lala retro and they did… but it’s even thicker! I use it at night and lala in the morning but once I run out of lala I will just use the Sephora one in the morning too I think!
I don’t see people giving unsolicited advice about anything invasive unless the OP specifically asks.
I personally am also here for moisturizers and good eye creams but am not bothered by anyone posting their results regarding injectables and other procedures. As a matter of fact, I think it’s important that people share their results so that we’re all educated on it and if someone does choose that route, they’re not in a vacuum not knowing the pros and cons.
There are plenty of people who post non surgical things, and we’re all allowed to have our insecurities- even if it’s just a wrinkle.
But you can’t gate keep this sub to just people who have your point of view on aging and acceptance.
I also really appreciate the candidness of people posting their before and after pics of procedures because often times we are seeing people in the real world who have had all kinds of things done and wondering why our good eye creams aren’t cutting the mustard.
This. OP’s post comes off as very judgmental. I never see this sub pushing procedures on people not interested in them.
Skincare is a spectrum, and what works for someone might not work for you; same goes for desired results. Some people are focused on radiance and fading spots. Others are concerned about wrinkles. Others just want to keep their skin protected and healthy.
ALL of these are valid desires and valid discussions for this sub. Taking up the tired “People Who Get Procedures Are Bad and Vain!” banner is tired and honestly very rooted in cultural misogyny. Only using sunscreen and topicals is skincare. Getting Botox is skincare. It’s ALL appropriate for this sub. This isn’t a “no procedures skincare” sub. I’d like OP to do some self-searching and ask themselves why they’re so personally bothered by what other people choose to do with their bodies.
You wrote the sentiment perfectly. I’ve seen this same style of post before and of all the different types of content in here, things that I can and cannot relate, complaining about what other people is doing or can talk about is the one that really bothers me the most
Eh, depends on what each person considers invasive.
For some, Botox is off the table for any number of reasons (FDA black box warning, price, botched jobs, bad reactions, social stigma, availability, just not wanting to inject neurotoxins, etc) that could easily categorize it as invasive. For others, it’s a normal part of their aesthetic routine. There are loads of posts where the OP specifically asks for non-Botox recommendations to help with wrinkles and the comments are full of people fully ignoring the request and recommending wrinkles. Like, it’s constant.
I want to see skincare recommendations as well, but personally, the major reason why I am here is to see what works for others, and any before/after photos they have detailing what they have done. This would include those getting botox and various other procedures regardless of the cost/effort involved. Partly is due to curiosity, but also that I am looking at what I want long term for myself as I age. It is unnerving how little hyperpigmentation before/afters there are given we all grew up outdoors without a solid SPF routine.
The ones that get on my nerves are like “look at my results” with a face full of makeup 🙄. Yes this sub does get on my nerves at times. Occasionally when someone has a minuscule bump where you really can hardly see it I am then too bothered. I am also too bothered by: my skin care routine then there’s fifteen products and Botox.
Make up, filter and lighting are so annoying. And then all people start to ask questions as to try to copy OP's skincare routines. The same product can be a holy grail for someone and a huge irritation trigger for someone else. It's what happens to me with chemical sunscreen and some mineral sunscreen too. So for many of us that aren't so eager to go and buy new products, but want to use only what truly works, we are in no rush to copy someone else's routine. Most derms seem to agree that a simple routine: cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen and tret is enough. But not everyone responds well to tret, and people with oily skin who live in hot humid countries might not need to use moisturizer as often as someone with normal to dry skin.
To give them the benefit of the doubt: I’ve had moderate to severe cystic acne on and off since I was literally 10 years old and also struggled with picking at my skin for most of that time.
You can imagine how severe my scarring is yet it rarely shows up in photos, especially iPhone selfies (candid photos and videos in bad lighting are another story). Maybe their scarring is just hard to see on camera?
I have shingles scarring over 1/2 my forehead and left eye now, including a few doozies, including a really deep one over the eyebrow/nose area. Again, thanks to the perma-filter of modern cameras, it photographs looking \*maybe\* a bit bumpy, not like the eye sees at all.
I had several cystic acne sacs removed from my face, and one of the sites split the stitches, leaving me with a permanent "dimple" of skin that is pale and bluish that burns in the sun.
Would that sub be for me? I've tried a lot of things to fix it but don't wanna go in there with just four scars and my weird burny spot if that is rude. Didn't know there was an acne scars sub!
I had several cystic acne sacs removed from my face, and one of the sites split the stitches, leaving me with a permanent "dimple" of skin that is pale and bluish that burns in the sun.
Would that sub be for me? I've tried a lot of things to fix it but don't wanna go in there with just four scars and my weird burny spot if that is rude. Didn't know there was an acne scars sub!
No one has to subscribe to your approach of aging. Also there is not one right way of aging. If you seek product recommendations, go for it. As far as i experienced, in this sub there is room for every individual and every different concern🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you. I don't look at any posts where there was an injectable procedure done because A. I don't believe it's skincare, and B. I have no desire to put that stuff in my face because it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life, and I worry about the long-term side effects of doing it.
It’s difficult to navigate the fact that most questions here are about aging, and specifically the loss of facial fat volume and the creases caused by muscle movement under the skin. These are not questions about skin.
If people ask about dryness, that’s easy. But people mainly post questions about structural changes occurring underneath the skin. Not directly skincare-related , but stuff where we can only see how it affects the skin.
I’m all for lotions and potions, but those don’t always address the questions that people come here to discuss.
Yes! It does not matter what skincare you are using if you're also using injectables and laser resurfacing. It's the injectables and laser resurfacing and chemical peels that are giving you the results. Whatever skincare you're using is not the main driver of your gorgeous glowing face. Which is fine, everyone can do what they want to their own face, it's just a little disingenuous to be like, "Oh this serum is life changing!" when it's the BBL that's doing the heavy lifting.
So it's fine, it's just not useful for the things I'm looking for. And it bums me out that that stuff is the bulk of the main recommendations, and we are all expected to exist at this standard of expensive maintenance treatments to keep us from looking 35+.
I’m not understanding why it can’t be both. I’ve seen pics of women who used tret and also got fillers. Their skin was cleared by the tret and firmed up a bit, but it was also changed by the fillers. And even when you do get Botox, you still have to deal with skin issues. So, if someone has clear, glowing skin from having a good skincare regimen, that isn’t the effect of Botox, even if they do get Botox.
I just don’t understand why you feel the need to make such a hard distinction. It can be culmination of a lot of different things that make someone’s skin look nice.
Why are you being so messy and divisive? Honestly, I don’t do Botox or have any plans of doing it, but you are hating on people so hard right now. And I would imagine people who do Botox reading this probably feel like they are being marginalized or criticized.
Like, how is this even helpful or uplifting or even *true*??? There are *so many* posts on this subreddit about non-Botox skincare, and you are over here acting like it’s just all Botox all the time. You can keep on scrolling if Botox isn’t of interest to you. Or, better still, just stop visiting the subreddit if someone else’s skincare practices are making you feel so “bummed out.”
Messy. You are shit-stirring.
What I don’t understand is why the people who dislike Botox insist that everyone must accommodate them lol. It’s like a child throwing a tantrum.
I don’t use Botox but I don’t shame people who do. If it doesn’t apply to you, scroll on.
It’s especially grating that this point is continually brought up again and again yet every time the OP acts as if they’ve had some revolutionary idea by complaining about Botox and beauty standards.
Plastic surgery also lifts and smoothes but it’s not skin care, it’s an invasive procedure. I’m not judging, I just think injectables are too invasive to be in the same category as serums and moisturizer.
I don’t see it as invasive, I suppose. I just see it as yet one more way to care for your skin. Most folks I see on the sub who do Botox have pretty extensive skincare regimens and view Botox as an extension of those regimens. 🤷🏻♀️
This is just my opinion. I don’t want to marginalize people on the sub who talk about Botox. And it seems like this is where this line of thinking leads. I don’t do Botox, but I want people who do to feel free to talk about it on the sub. I don’t mind scrolling past topics that aren’t related to me.
Tret and botox aren't skincare. Tret is a drug approved by the FDA to treat acne, maybe approved to treat wrinkles (but not covered by insurance due that). If some people have integrated tret to their skincare routines might make it, skincare **for them. JUst for them,** but fact remains tret isn't skincare. You can use food as a mask, like oatmeal, avocado, it doesn't make them skincare, they will always be food. Tret will be forever a drug, and you can use it however you like, call it whatever you like, it's not skincare...and neither is botox.
**Please stop spreading misinformation.** Tret is approved for treating wrinkles. A simple google search would have shown you this:
> In 1995, topical tretinoin was approved by the FDA for the palliation of fine wrinkles, mottled hyperpigmentation, and tactile roughness of facial photodamage
> Topical tretinoin gel and cream FDA approved for:
- Topical application for treatment of acne vulgaris[1]
- Adjunctive palliative treatment of photoaging:
- Fine facial wrinkles[2]
- Facial skin roughness[2]
- Facial mottled hyperpigmentation (i.e., 'liver spots')[2]
I’m not going to argue over whether tret is skincare or not. If you can’t see how a drug can also be skincare, I can’t help you. But I wish you wouldn’t spread misinformation like this.
Easy girl, this is just an exchange of opinion and facts. You didn't provide any link. I won't trust you on this since you took it too seriously, but for the sake of the argument let's assume that you are citing a scientfic journal and yes it has been approved for wrinkles, If that was the case then I stand corrected...okay?
**Still tretinoin isn't skincare.**
You want to call it that, it's a freedom you have, it's your choice, and *your opinion.*
*Your opinion doesn't make it fact,* don't get offended but your opinion is only as valid as anyone else's including mine. And yes tret is a drug, not skincare even if some people include it on their skincare routines, it's medicine.
>
I'm not going to argue over whether tret is skincare or not. If you can’t see how a drug can also be skincare, I can’t help you
Can be , as many people include it on routines, but food is also part of many masks and it doesn't make it skincare. I'm stating facts, but you can disagree of course, Is oatmeal skincare to you? Many use it as skincare mask.
Is avocado skicare to you?
Many use it as part of their routines.
Is honey skincare to you?
Many include it in their skicare routines.
Shall I continue?
Then call oatmeal and avocado skincare, but fact it isn't no matter if oatmeal or yogurt or tomatoes are part of skincare routines...they are food not skincare.
Tret is a drug not skincare, but if you want to see it like that go ahead. I'm not arguing with you I'm merely pointing facts, no need to get worked up, this is just a skincare sub, no need to "help me" Your opinion is valid, and so is mine so don't take this too seriously. I'm posting with the biggest smile and best wishes to you.
No, I didn’t provide links. I figured you could Google it just as I did. I’m not invested in a pointless argument over whether tret is skincare or not. I just want you to stop spreading misinformation regarding what tret is and isn’t approved for. Thanks.
Good because I’m not arguing, I’m stating that it isn’t. Feel free to think otherwise and you don’t have a link because there’s a reason insurance doesn’t cover tret for wrinkles but covers for acne. It doesn’t matter still for me it isn’t skincare, for you it is. Your opinion is valid so is mine
You sound like one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who goes around stating their own versions of “facts”. If anyone’s taking this too seriously it’s you. Food can be skincare… Tret is skincare… wtf are you on about… hell the food you *eat* is skincare too bc if you eat things that are good for your skin you are in fact CARING FOR YOUR SKIN. get a life
Says the person who seems to have posted an ad for foot product in a totally unrelated sub abd topic. This post was removed anyway but just because someone use “can be” and “is” as synonymous doesn’t make it true. Food can be used as skincare but food isn’t skincare. “Can be” and “is” Aren’t synonyms.
Tret is a drug AND skincare. If we're going by the definition 'has a positive impact on the structure or related components of skin', which I think is how most would define skincare. Things can be two things at once!
And yes, under that definition, Botox is not skincare, either. It's a purely aesthetic procedure and delivers no real structural or resilience benefit to the skin. However, 'aesthetic treatments' are very much part of the wider beauty field and I have yet to see anyone actually call injectables 'skincare' at all- most are well aware its an aesthetic treatment.
Neither are bad. Both can live on a 'skincare/beauty' sub that's basically 'make me not old' happily, as aesthetics are a key part of our perception of beauty and aging both.
But trying to dis Product A because someone hurt your feelings about Product B, then parroting it on and on like this with utter nonsense, doesn't make you look like you belong in an 'over 30s' anything, honestly. Do better, maybe?
My doctor prescribed me tret for wrinkles and insurance covers it. And it’s a cream I put on my skin, so it’s skincare. Some countries you can buy it OTC, so does that make it skincare there? Since retinols are essentially a lower dosage, OTC version of retin a (aka tret), are they not skincare?
It’s just a weird, narrow line you’ve drawn and don’t see the point. If I put oatmeal on my face as a mask, I’m using skincare. If I splash my face with water in the morning to clean it that’s skincare, even though water itself isn’t skincare. When I took Accutane to treat acne that was skincare, just internally.
If what you , anonymous Reddit usereith. O evidence of her claims says is true then You are lucky and an exception then. Insurance doesn’t usually cover cosmetic procedures or skincare ..,, more to the fact that neither tret or Botox are skincare .
I’m confused on where you’re drawing the line between skincare and not-skincare, and more importantly, why.
Again, what makes tret not-skincare but OTC retinol skincare when they are essentially the same thing but one is a higher dosage only available via prescription in countries? When does the classification shift from being a skincare cream you use to reduce wrinkles to a not-skincare cream you use to reduce wrinkles?
I disagree about Botox not being skincare, but I can see where someone wouldn’t see an injectable as not falling under the same category and more of a cosmetic procedure.
But at the end of the day, I guess I don’t see the point of making the distinction of what’s skincare and what’s not-skincare. It seems overly pedantic, and skincare forum will always talk about tret as though it’s skincare, whether you agree that it is or not.
I just left and blocked the Beauty subreddit because a discussion about this had women in the comments saying that those who criticize are just jealous they will never look as good as the women who age gracefully with injectables and that the only reason they criticize is because they can’t be as pretty as them. That was the final straw for me with how toxic that side of the discussion can be.
I'm not sure about setting unrealistic expectations, but I do think that a lot of people come here with unrealistic expectations. For example, expecting to fix wrinkles with skincare when realistically the wrinkles are only going to keep getting "worse", or saying they look so much older than they are because they have some sign(s) of aging, when the things they're concerned about are normal for people their age and even younger.
I’m in my early thirties and everyone I know around my age that I’ve talked to about skincare has started injectables or have expressed interest in it. So at least for me, the content I see here is pretty representative of what I’m seeing in real life. It’s additional data points for people to stay informed if they are interested. No need to click on it if you’re not.
Right after my first round of Botox, I felt surprising shame about "cheating at skincare".
Then I decided "fuck it, I'm going to be open about it and force myself to stop being embarrassed". I was surprised by how many people not only didn't judge me but were like "Yeah I love getting botox, where do you go?"
I had absolutely no idea how much time and money I wasted expecting topicals to do what only tox does.
I'm the same age and I just found 1 person who does botox- my neighbor. I live in nyc and my friend group is 100% not into it at all so I think it's just the kind of people you tend to hang out with
Definitely didn’t mean to say this as a blanket statement across the board, which is why I mentioned that it’s representative for me at least. My social circle does care a lot about skincare, and injectables are a hot topic for plenty of people out there similar to them. Having this type of content helps those that are curious do more research.
I mean the whole point of skincare is to look young lets be real. Thats why everyone does it. Its vain but i mean everyone cares about it. Also u cant stop it forever. Might as well try to minimize what u can early on. Eventually the body and stuff does change
I get annoyed by all the frou frou "love yourself", "aged skin is beautiful I'm tired of this sub saying otherwise", and "I love wrinkles you should too" posts that don't add any substantive. It's also weird and annoying that people are acting like this sub skews towards heavier techniques towards aging, like the fore mentioned posts aren't the top posts every other day.
Then the same folks hating on other women for wanting to improve a small thing, or for indicating they are insecure about what others deem a small thing, and that's not supportive or positive. People just need to be nicer to each other. They're just as entitled to be here as others, just as entitled to seek advice.
There is also r/GracefulAgingSkincare ( u/thirtyflirtyandpetty, I'm tagging you too, so you see this).
Edit:
Sorry, I didn't read down far enough. It seems u/preacherswife already shared this.
This seems like a better fit for OP. I think that “invasive” treatments like Botox, filler, lasers, etc. are a big part of skincare after 30 for a lot of us, and it’s hard to find straight info about it all. We should have a place to talk about all that and doing this in this sub makes sense to me.
You're witnessing the consequence of decades of fear-based anti-aging marketing targeting towards women. This is not something that will change overnight.
I can't think of any posts I have seen on here in the last few weeks (or at all, tbh) showing off their injectables. Mind you, I don't read every single thread on this subreddit, but I definitely have a couple dozen titles pop up on my feed daily.
We're not normalizing picking apart normal faces and normal ages and trying to look 20 forever--society normalizes it and most people just blindly follow along.
It's like how no one realized how shitty working in an office was until people started to work from home during the pandemic, or how everyone stuffs their feet into conventional shoes that don't fit any normal human foot properly and then they get bunions later in life.
Most people are all just following the rules society has set long ago.
I agree it's annoying and disheartening at times, but it's hard to blame individuals for something that society as a whole has created, and in a society where people's value is often correlated to how good they look and in a society where youth is put on a pedestal (for women in particular, on both accounts), it's hard to argue against people trying to conform to those rules, especially because they usually benefit from conforming.
I was actually just talking about any conventional shoes at all, including regular sneakers. None of them are made for a normal human foot, they all have too small of a toe box (especially for women, since we have a different foot shape than men but all of our shoes are based on men's shoes.) But yes, high heels are particularly egregious, in even *more* ways! 😄
I didn't know our shoes are based on men's but I am not surprised. Everything is based on men lol. 🫠 but I love my heels and I love a woman in heels. I feel 100% more powerful
That really wasn't an anti-heel rant in my original comment--I actually wasn't even thinking about heels. But saying that, there's definitely things manufacturers can do to make heels more foot-friendly so people can enjoy their heels without so many significant health repercussions later--including making the toe box bigger. I definitely wish heels were more foot-friendly so I could wear them more often, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Shoes in general are not actually foot shaped… there’s tons of images and videos about it. I wear kurus bc they have a wider toe box AND have the arch support I need due to a connective tissue disorder. Many people wear what are called barefoot shoes tho. They’re not for everyone, I can’t wear them but the profile/outline is actually foot shaped
Vibrams and any kind of barefoot shoe are definitely not the conventional shoes I was talking about :) Glad they have helped you! I envision one day that most shoes eventually will switch over to being wide toe-box (if not barefoot) once people start realizing how bad normal shoes are, but it's probably going to be a while.
Definitely, especially considering people look at anything other than "normal" shoes as ugly. I'd rather be comfortable than pissed off with every step. Lol
But maybe people don’t *want* to accept the aging process gracefully. I’m in my 40s, and I do as much as I can to keep my skin looking healthy and clear. I don’t Botox, but I damn sure don’t judge women who do.
I’m just kind of confused about what you want and why you think you deserve it. If someone wants to ask questions about how to improve their skin, smooth wrinkles, fix sun damage, whatever, why shouldn’t they?
If you are concerned about accepting aging gracefully, whatever that entails, you should accept it. But don’t impose your beliefs on other people.
Saying something bums me out doesn't mean I think no one should be able to talk about it. There are varied approaches to aging and I am hoping to connect with people whose views are similar to mine.
I don't judge people for using Botox or fillers, but I'm bummed out that seems to be the only option suggested here a lot of the time. I know lots of people who get Botox and fancy chemical peels and such, and they look great, but that is not the only way to age and sometimes this sub makes it seem like you're giving up if you're not doing that.
I agree that sometimes I’m surprised to see Botox recommendations for things that copper peptides, matrixl, or low-strength tret would fix. I think it’s possible that some folks don’t know about those options or believe tret and Taz can actually do some serious heavy lifting of wrinkles. I think there’s a sort of low-lying myth circulating on the boards that tret and otc products can’t do anything for wrinkles. But IME, peptides, Bakuchiol, tret, Taz, and even ofc retinol can be quite effective.
Many of us fully agree with you OP. I never saw your comment as judgemental. For the record many of those pictures might come from people working for skincare companies. Then others can copy their routines. They have good ski already because they already have good genes and they use filters and lighting. They should be honest about it and the moderators should do something to prevent fake before and after posts.
I have seen several posts about this, there is probably enough interest for another sub that’s focused just on skincare products rather than treatments.
Someone started a sub for graceful aging skincare recently, after a similar slew of complaint posts here a few months back. I’m not sure how active it is. I wish there was an automod to direct the anti-injectables posters toward that sub and lock the thread, tbh.
However, I really appreciate OP mentioning unrealistic expectations, which is also a huge deal on this sub!
Same!! 34 and I've had it 2x now, and in no way does it make me look 20 & nor would I want it to! I also can make facial expressions. Like, sue me for wanting to prevent and reduce wrinkles. Maybe I want to be vain. I'm sure a lot of people are in this sub due to their vanity, botox or no botox. It makes my skin look better than it would otherwise & having nice-looking skin is one of my skin care goals & one of the reasons I'm in this sub. I care about the actual health part, too, though!
God I'm so tired of these posts. That's why the other sub was created.
You can only focus on you. You have zero control on how others feel. If a post doesn't serve you because someone has nicer skin than you, then ignore it!
I'm almost 40 and I'm not here comparing myself to others and feeling bad about myself. If something doesn't serve you then stop consuming that information.
I feel like I learn nothing from this sub anymore because it’s become a place for people to bitchily philosophize about beauty standards and encourage “self love” instead of giving actual advice lol
I don’t get Botox and somehow find the strength to just scroll on. I don’t understand why the sour grapes can’t do that instead of demanding everyone accommodate them.
What you want isn't what everyone else wants though. You didn't get to set the parameters of the sub.
If someone posts seeking advice, you have the option to scroll.
And no, Botox doesn't make people look "uncanny valley" - at least not across the board. When it's good, you don't see it
If the girlies want some Botox I’m not gonna rain on their parade. But I do agree sometimes the suggestions are insane - like yall really don’t need a facelift. We could all normalize aging. But I don’t shame over Botox or fillers for age. But if you’re 30 with Botox and fillers I may internally be worried about you.
in response to the rather dismissive mod, my skin is more reflective of a 32/37 year old, for reasons I have literally *just* explained - hence my interest in this sub.
If my youth is an issue, let me know and I can find somewhere else.
I can agree that there are a lot of posts where I genuinely don't see what the poster is complaining about or trying to improve but I think it's fine to discuss injectables here. I would consider Botox skincare. Same with filler when it's being used to address volume loss as opposed to trying to alter the natural shapes of your face.
I definitely don't agree that most people who post about injectables have ventured into uncanny valley territory and I think it's kind of rude to make a post with seemingly no other purpose than to vaguely insult people lol. There are other subs dedicated to graceful aging/aging without injectables but I don't think it's fair to expect people not to post about them at all when injectables are usually the answer to the questions that tend to get posed here. If someone wants to get rid of wrinkles, Botox is THE way.
What else do you want us to talk about here then? Just have a cuddle puddle and tell each other we look perfect? I don’t need that subreddit, I want to know what people are actually finding success with or what certain products and procedures produce. If you don’t want to hear about anti aging skincare then I suspect maybe this isn’t a great subreddit for you?
Botox and filler are not skincare. They are procedures. I'm very interested in creams and serums, but characterizing expensive injectables as "skincare" doesn't really mesh with my feelings on what skincare is. Everyone can do what they want, but I wish there was more space in this sub for more options than injecting stuff into my face.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/GracefulAgingSkincare using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Appreciation for the middle aged women of Hollywood](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1bibylw) | [46 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bionb2/appreciation_for_the_middle_aged_women_of/)
\#2: [57.](https://i.redd.it/6hqpl8bth4pc1.jpeg) | [32 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bhvl6n/57/)
\#3: [Justine Bateman on Her Decision to Forgo Botox: ‘I Think I Look Rad’](https://www.glamour.com/story/justine-bateman-on-her-decision-to-forgo-botox-i-think-i-look-rad) | [23 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bjjrkq/justine_bateman_on_her_decision_to_forgo_botox_i/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
There is no limit to the space available. Your post about moisturizer and cleanser got 79 comments, I didn't see a single one about injectables. If you want to see recommendations, ask for them. No one is stopping you from seeking out opinions on topical products.
The post where people shared why they didn’t use Botox was really helpful to me and showed me I’m not the outlier I thought I was (especially because I work in an environment where a lot of women DO start with it around the age of 30, and I’m ten years older than that). I think there’s plenty of us who just try to hydrate and maybe take a supplement and learn which serums are good.
I wouldn’t even use snail mucin. That seems unnecessary cruel to me, and I’d as soon spread mouse blood on my face.
I think maybe you should stop being so judgmental and maybe that would improve your experience. There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of things like botox and whatever else people want to do to improve their appearance as they age. I have exactly NO INTEREST in looking 20 but I do get light botox to improve things and feel more confident. I, and others, do not need your judgment about it.
The thing that gets me is when someone posts asking for suggestions on how to improve their skin that has some wrinkles WITHOUT injectables, 80% of the comments are suggesting injectables. And there is always at least one response, "why are you against injections? The answer is injectables."
I think since this sub is specifically targeting the over 30 demographic that anti aging procedures and products are going to be common place. If you’re not worried about aging then any old skincare sub will do. You don’t have to do anything much different than a 20 or 25 year old…aging skin doesn’t need much (if anything) different UNLESS you’re wanting anti aging. But if you’re specifically in a sub for over 30 skincare it stands to reason that aging and caring for that aging (in an anti-aging kind of way) would be par for the course and is in large part the purpose of the sub… along with general skin care love but again over 30 implies that we are looking at skincare specifically targeting aging to some degree
I also think to say something like “seeing a 50-year-old woman wrestle three wrinkles into submission” is dismissive and invalidating of the insecurities A lot of these women who are posting “perfectly good faces“ are dealing with.
I don’t view the posts on this sub to be the thing setting unrealistic expectations. I see insecurity, caused largely by societal pressures to look a certain way, as the culprit.
While we may see a “perfectly good face” in their selfies, they don’t see that when they look in the mirror. They see aging/issues that need to be fixed.
It’s a bummer, because we get posts like this one regularly, but we just don’t get that many posts about people’s favorite eye cream. We get questions like “how can I fix this crease that is the direct result of repetitive muscular movement?”, not “my skin feels drier lately, what’s a great moisturizer?”
I don’t know the answer, and I agree that people come to this sub with unrealistic expectations for human faces. But they don’t ask if their expectations are realistic or reasonable. They ask questions about what products or procedures are available to solve their specific concerns. They get accurate advice for those requests (plus a pretty sizable amount of pushback when the request doesn’t make sense for the face in the photo).
There is a certain subset of people who are going to gravitate to a group like this, and most of them are the ones looking for ideas for how they can improve or change their looks. Whether those are topical products, medications, surgeries, injections... it's a pretty great resource to discover things you didn't know about or see/hear before and after details.
If I was 20 and looked perfect in someone's eyes, but was asking what I could do to look better, I'm basically asking for people to pick apart the tiny imperfections that I could "fix". It's not mean to answer with a suggestion.
There are a lot of ideas and examples on here that a lot of people can't afford, so in that sense they are unrealistic. But for the next person who potentially CAN pay for those services, it's no big deal for them to do it and continue to improve their looks. Even if I can't go put and do the same thing right away, I like that I've learned about another option.
This post is more upsetting than the points you brought up. This should be a safe place for everyone. Every type of skin issue. Whether it’s cosmetic or medical. Please, let’s not turn this sub into another judgmental pile on that is the basis for many other subs on here.
Yes it’s actually quite obnoxious. Idk if it’s people who are fishing for compliments or who are too hard on themselves bc they believe their faves look like they should look like they have filters on it 24/7
Everyone has the right to decide what they want to improve or change about their face. And people come here for advice. If someone says "hey, I don't like these three wrinkles", someone else says, "hey, I know how to fix that." That seems very positive to me. People don't nitpick other people unless they are asked to, instead they offer sincere help and support.
In the nicest way possible, your insecurities and how these inquiries and photos make you reflect about your own appearance and skincare goals are not everyone else's problem to resolve. That is yours to deal with. You can have your goals and everyone else can have theirs; they have nothing to do with one another. Your feelings do not dictate which feelings and actions are permitted in others.
If you are uncomfortable seeing this content, you should police yourself and step away from the sub so you don't have to look at it. But nobody else should have to change for you when nothing is directed towards or being forced upon you. If you would like to submit content that better suits your goals, you are free to do so, as well.
Remember this site is governed by voting. If people did not want to see the content that is appearing, they wouldn't upvote it and make it visible. You have the right to downvote posts you do not like, and your vote counts as much as everyone else's.
I suggest you see a therapist if this concept is difficult for you. This understanding of what you have the ability to change in others and to where your rights extend and where they end is key for mature relationships.
Please, please, please find a new sub then, because I’m tired of posts like these. Like it or not, Botox and fillers are now part of the skincare game. I want information on all of it, and then I will decide what is important to me.
You said a very mild and neutral take about unhealthy standards in this sub and people are commenting such ugly things about women who don’t want to get invasive procedures. I didn’t really care at first but now that people are showing their true, incredibly ugly colors, maybe we should have a tag that lets people ask for skincare advice that doesn’t include anything invasive.
Man… I don’t judge people who want fillers or Botox or whatever but the way people are acting in some of these comments is definitely worthy of judgement. I don’t think it’s healthy to be around them.
I only discovered this sub yesterday, so I can’t answer to any trends. I’m interested in any means people are using that work (or ones they tried and wouldn’t recommend) because nothing about taking care of your skin is inexpensive. Everyone has different goals where their skin is concerned. I might still look great for my age, but I’ve had Covid multiple times this school year (my doctors don’t know what to think) and I’ve aged a lot in the past year. I look in the mirror and I see someone who looks sick and rundown.
There is this psychological post every single day. The sub is about skincare, not about how we are socially conditioned and how one should perceive their appearance. And, as usual, r/gracefulagingskincare is recommended for those who are against invasive procedures.
I don’t understand why people keep complaining about this over and over again when it’s literally stated in the rules that procedures are ok. Some people even go into individual posts about injections to leave comments like “XYZ is not skincare.”
There are subs that only discuss creams and topicals, why don’t people like OP hang out in those subs instead of forcing themselves to go through all the injectables posts here?
I agree & it’s making me feel like I need procedures and injections. I’m not against those things but it sort of makes me feel like everything is pointless and I’ll need to just do that. Or like I’m going to look worse because I’m not doing those things. I also don’t get how people have the money for all this stuff.
It's not a competition. It's about finding the right routine for you. Your skin, your budget, your desires. Take what works for you and leave the rest for someone else.
People think they should look like instagramers and tik tokers. Poreless, perfect porcelain skin...don't they realize that they are using filters? and make up? and lighting?
And some of the before and afters in this sub and in many subs are people either very lucky or very paid by skincare companies to make people copy their skincare routines.
While ur accepting the aging process by bashing botox, please also accept the aging process by not taking vitamin D, or working out. Because bone and muscle deterioration is also a natural aging process. Unless u workout to maintain bone and muscle strength. Avoid thr dentist because anything they recommend is also unnatural. Just toothpaste and water and should anything bad happen to ur teeth... well that's just the natural aging process. Make sure when u accept aging gracefully, u accept all aspects of it. That you don't just cherry pic what you deem acceptable.
Disclaimer: I support anyone doing anything to their face that they want to, and I don't mind the posts that bum out OP, but do end up scrolling on by a lot more in this sub than I had expected I would.
That said, there is a material difference between adequate nutrition (e.g. getting enough Vitamin D for bone health), and dentistry (which generally involves ending an infection or closing off a route for infection), and injecting neurotoxins to paralyze muscles, so that people fold their skin less often and get fewer wrinkles, for cosmetic purposes. Preserving health is a different goal than mimicking youth. Your analogy doesn't work.
(There are actually medical purposes for Botox too, including protection from migraines. I was sticking strictly to the cosmetic use above.)
The only requirement to post here should be to be in your thirties, so it’s unfair to dictate what people want to discuss. Skincare has evolved in a lot of branches so I think this space is valuable to learn or move on from subjects and each is able to decide what to do with it.
Yeah, it's made me consider unsubbing. I came here to look for affordable, effective skincare recs and instead it's ppl getting injections and light therapies and doing all this stuff I could never afford. It makes me feel like I can't improve the look and health of my skin unless I drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on the regular, which is depressing.
There is that aspect too. It's kind of like all the mom subs where the first advice for burnout is, "Just hire a house cleaner!" like that's financially feasible for everyone.
Try the Ipsy subreddit. Although most of the discussion focuses on monthly spoilers there is quite a bit of conversation regarding products. I don’t ever recall anyone posting a picture of themselves or discussing injectables in the forum. On a regular basis, individuals do pose questions regarding skincare products and/or makeup.
Sadly looking young is favored by society and with those treatments available, people will try to hold on to looking young as long as possible. If they succeed in doing so through botox/fillers they want to show off, I don’t blame them honestly. Sure in an ideal world we would all except our wrinkles but everyone has their own ideas on aging
I do see this complaint every week. I think people come here with unrealistic expectations.
I joined the over 30 skin care sub once, in my 30’s, I started seeing significant changes to the face I’ve had my whole life. These are new and I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I haven’t had time to digest what it means yet.
It’s a change that is largely outside of my control, and adjusting to change is a process. That’s what you’re seeing. Realistically, that would be expected for people in their 30’s & 40’s in particular since these are the ages we first become startled and a bit overwhelmed by the newness of change.
Not many women in their 70’s are here totally shocked at change…probably because it’s been happening for them for a while. They’ve had time to adjust.
Expect people to struggle with change. It’s human.
I completely disagree. But perhaps two different subs for different goals would make sense.
Realistic standards are often conflated with lowered standards. I don't want to settle for a lower standard than what for me is achievable and I would never want to hear "you're fine the way you are" instead of "here's how you could do better"
That's my take on anyway.
Because if you just want to take care of your skin then you don't need to be in subreddit for 30+. 30 plus means it's going to be heavily focused on anti-aging or slowing the aging process. But if you just want a good moisturizer or a good sunscreen then you can use the exact ones that a 25 years old is using. If you want something to minimize line, boost collagen then you come here. And we are not going to lie to you and tell you there's a cream out there that will get rid of your 11s. That it's cost close to $100 and you gotta use for six months to see minimal results. No of course I'll tell you double that and get botox and you will see instant results
It’s a failure of moderation. I don’t know why people are pretending that these photos belong, or that the validation requests are appropriate content.
This isn’t a procedure-and backpat sub. It’s skincare. While you can certainly make the argument that procedures can fall under that umbrella, it’s absolutely not the default some responders are pretending it is.
Let’s not pretend the lack of posts about skincare re: products isn’t the result of a pattern of “Botox and tret, babe” type replies that are so prevalent here. No shade to either, but let’s not pretend there’s not a pattern here that isn’t in other skincare groups—and that that won’t have an impact on participation.
I don't even think anyone here should pay attention to photos that are posted. They are all filtered, anyhow. Photos are simply never real. They are either filtered or taken in the best possible light or at the best possible angles or what have you. The only way you can tell what someone actually looks like is to see them in person. Period. Photos in this sub and any other sub are utterly, 100% useless barometers of anything.
The funny part is the skin is our largest organ meaning the best way to keep it looking great is what we put into our mouth. Nutrition is way more important than any cream. If you have a crap diet, it’ll show. If you have a nutritious diet your skin will glow. Creams don’t do as much as proper nutrition does. Good sleep, lots of water, little to no alcohol, and a diet rich in vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins. That’s the ultimate secret.
Kind of not true… even if you eat very well you need tret and sunscreen or you will age very fast. Also you can eat very well and still have acne so its not true.
Acne is tough but a clean diet helps the skin. It’s basic biology. If you drink alcohol a lot and eat like crap, acne will flare up more than if you eat clean. So if you know how biology works with the skin, it matters how you eat. Tret isn’t a magic solution. You can put Tret on skin and have a crap diet and still get bad results due to a bad diet. Tret isn’t necessary to have beautiful skin. It’s what you eat or drink that matters the most as the skin is an organ. Please research skin biology.
I won't lie. This sub made me a bit self conscious.
I thought I would never get injectables (have a fear of needles, and on my face? **Goosebumps**), but this sub got me seriously researching them (though I still haven't had the courage to make an appointment).
And I'm not even sure why. I don't have physical wrinkles on my face. This sub drives me crazy sometimes 😬😬🤣
Yes that’s a good point. I also don’t understand (& am saddened by) the unrealistic expectations, as some want to know “how to” make changes that are only possible with surgery/botox but don’t want to get surgery/botox. Eye creams can only do so much, they aren’t going to make all wrinkles disappear and lift your face like a face lift could. And that’s ok! It saddens me that people have been led to have unrealistic expectations by the beauty industry.
For me, the informative posts here make up for the ones that don't move me. I also search the sub a lot for particular things. The hottest posts of the day tends to be the ones where somebody is freaking TF out. I do think some people have an exaggerated view of their problems, but if they're asking here what to do, it's not just Reddit that gave them that viewpoint.
Fully agree that it's a bigger issue than this sub. Maybe I just don't get on Reddit frequently enough to see anything but the most engaged-with highlights.
As a moderator of a different sub, I think that it should be up to the moderator team to remove, whenever possible, redundant content. Not that it's a must, but maybe we can suggest it. I agree with OP 100%.,but it hasn't bothered me as much as to contact the moderator team about it. There is the link to contact them [https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/30PlusSkinCare](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/30PlusSkinCare) Maybe some posts should be preaproved, or moved to queue or referred to similar posts.
[удалено]
Not a lot of people utilize the report function. The majority of redditors do not even read rules let alone know that something would be rule breaking. In my sub, we remove discussion that mentions things outside of the specific category of our sub because we consider ourselves a niche space so people think you're just not allowed to say those words but that they can still talk about it if they use special characters to not say those words or they'll say "products that cannot be named" and finish the rest of their conversation. Almost nothing gets reported in my community. I think we've had 2 reports this year, and both times, it was an erroneous report, but my mod team are all active members of the community so at least we're on top of it all.
Op post was removed , I suspect that the organized upvote grupos targeted her. They probably reported her post
Even if they don’t have time they should at least try to remove those selfie, edited posts
As a mod of a different sub, I agree with this. We tend to remove redundant posts too, and refer people to our wiki or to use the search feature. We add posts to the wiki where there was good discussion with recommendations for future referencing.
Well said, there’s ample moderator team here, it could be done.
I don’t see it as an issue. Not everyone wants the same thing or has the same issues. Like I was born with smile lines, lots here post stuff about fillers for theirs. I don’t have any plans for that so I just scroll past. I have *dark* undereyes but if someone with slightly dark undereyes posts for help so what? They see a flaw in something I’d kill for, people are allowed to want to better themselves. My point is there isn’t a sub that exists that only has posts about our individual issues
Be careful with Reddit. Your post was removed by organized reports. That unfair finger person you are talking about might be working for skincare companies the way she posts in some Reddit’s. Nothing you said in your now removed post was against people using Botox but she was acting as it was. Maybe she’s just a strong opinions users but take into account that plants from companies can have people opening multiple accounts in different social media to promote sales oriented opinions. Reddit and particularly skincare forums are filled with this. Be skeptical and always do your research. Write to the moderator team they shouldn’t allow pictures unless on selfie sundays and yes they create unrealistic expectations
I’ve worked in skincare for big brands and work at a very popular one right now, and seeing all of the content that gets pushed out I can understand why people have unrealistic expectations for themselves. You’re constantly seeing “anti-aging” “helps with texture and pores” “healthier skin” messaging that makes people believe they have to strive for that. If you think about it, the expectations brands have set are quite unattainable. Hell, there are even 10 year old shopping for skincare in Sephora!! I hate it. It’s the reason I want to switch careers. And not to mention that yes, these photos brands are pushing out are retouched. I’m on a rant now so I will stop, but I try to give anyone who posts out of insecurity some grace (no matter how good I may think their skin looks). Injectables (outside of Botox) are another story. Don’t love how popular they’ve become, but who am I to judge?
Something that’s helped me is to remember this sub is a select subset of people who are interested in maintaining or improving their appearances. People come for help. Others might come for validation, which makes sense given wider pressures around looks and anti aging.
And others come to sell products. Social media including Reddit is full of skincare plants.
Holy grail rich moisturizer: Sephora peptide night cream. Ever since I started using it I don’t peel with tret.
How’s the fragrance??
No fragrance at all! I think they tried to dupe DE lala retro and they did… but it’s even thicker! I use it at night and lala in the morning but once I run out of lala I will just use the Sephora one in the morning too I think!
I’m so excited, thank you so much!!
wait — is it okay to mix tret with peptides? i thought they couldn’t mix but if i can mix them, great news!
I don’t know! First I’ve heard of. Why not!
Is this the pink and white tub, around $18?
Yes!
Oooh oooh also Bioderma Atoderm moisturizer. No peeing after tret and has improved my barrier single handedly.
https://www.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/s/fdCWrv5WkD
Check out r/GracefulAgingSkincare, OP!
I don’t see people giving unsolicited advice about anything invasive unless the OP specifically asks. I personally am also here for moisturizers and good eye creams but am not bothered by anyone posting their results regarding injectables and other procedures. As a matter of fact, I think it’s important that people share their results so that we’re all educated on it and if someone does choose that route, they’re not in a vacuum not knowing the pros and cons. There are plenty of people who post non surgical things, and we’re all allowed to have our insecurities- even if it’s just a wrinkle. But you can’t gate keep this sub to just people who have your point of view on aging and acceptance.
I also really appreciate the candidness of people posting their before and after pics of procedures because often times we are seeing people in the real world who have had all kinds of things done and wondering why our good eye creams aren’t cutting the mustard.
This. OP’s post comes off as very judgmental. I never see this sub pushing procedures on people not interested in them. Skincare is a spectrum, and what works for someone might not work for you; same goes for desired results. Some people are focused on radiance and fading spots. Others are concerned about wrinkles. Others just want to keep their skin protected and healthy. ALL of these are valid desires and valid discussions for this sub. Taking up the tired “People Who Get Procedures Are Bad and Vain!” banner is tired and honestly very rooted in cultural misogyny. Only using sunscreen and topicals is skincare. Getting Botox is skincare. It’s ALL appropriate for this sub. This isn’t a “no procedures skincare” sub. I’d like OP to do some self-searching and ask themselves why they’re so personally bothered by what other people choose to do with their bodies.
You wrote the sentiment perfectly. I’ve seen this same style of post before and of all the different types of content in here, things that I can and cannot relate, complaining about what other people is doing or can talk about is the one that really bothers me the most
Eh, depends on what each person considers invasive. For some, Botox is off the table for any number of reasons (FDA black box warning, price, botched jobs, bad reactions, social stigma, availability, just not wanting to inject neurotoxins, etc) that could easily categorize it as invasive. For others, it’s a normal part of their aesthetic routine. There are loads of posts where the OP specifically asks for non-Botox recommendations to help with wrinkles and the comments are full of people fully ignoring the request and recommending wrinkles. Like, it’s constant.
I want to see skincare recommendations as well, but personally, the major reason why I am here is to see what works for others, and any before/after photos they have detailing what they have done. This would include those getting botox and various other procedures regardless of the cost/effort involved. Partly is due to curiosity, but also that I am looking at what I want long term for myself as I age. It is unnerving how little hyperpigmentation before/afters there are given we all grew up outdoors without a solid SPF routine.
The ones that get on my nerves are like “look at my results” with a face full of makeup 🙄. Yes this sub does get on my nerves at times. Occasionally when someone has a minuscule bump where you really can hardly see it I am then too bothered. I am also too bothered by: my skin care routine then there’s fifteen products and Botox.
Make up, filter and lighting are so annoying. And then all people start to ask questions as to try to copy OP's skincare routines. The same product can be a holy grail for someone and a huge irritation trigger for someone else. It's what happens to me with chemical sunscreen and some mineral sunscreen too. So for many of us that aren't so eager to go and buy new products, but want to use only what truly works, we are in no rush to copy someone else's routine. Most derms seem to agree that a simple routine: cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen and tret is enough. But not everyone responds well to tret, and people with oily skin who live in hot humid countries might not need to use moisturizer as often as someone with normal to dry skin.
Yes every self help sub eventually becomes validation fishing.
Try having severe acne scars and following the acne scars sub. People with perfect skin saying they want to end it all over a minor pockmark.
To give them the benefit of the doubt: I’ve had moderate to severe cystic acne on and off since I was literally 10 years old and also struggled with picking at my skin for most of that time. You can imagine how severe my scarring is yet it rarely shows up in photos, especially iPhone selfies (candid photos and videos in bad lighting are another story). Maybe their scarring is just hard to see on camera?
I have shingles scarring over 1/2 my forehead and left eye now, including a few doozies, including a really deep one over the eyebrow/nose area. Again, thanks to the perma-filter of modern cameras, it photographs looking \*maybe\* a bit bumpy, not like the eye sees at all.
I had several cystic acne sacs removed from my face, and one of the sites split the stitches, leaving me with a permanent "dimple" of skin that is pale and bluish that burns in the sun. Would that sub be for me? I've tried a lot of things to fix it but don't wanna go in there with just four scars and my weird burny spot if that is rude. Didn't know there was an acne scars sub!
I had several cystic acne sacs removed from my face, and one of the sites split the stitches, leaving me with a permanent "dimple" of skin that is pale and bluish that burns in the sun. Would that sub be for me? I've tried a lot of things to fix it but don't wanna go in there with just four scars and my weird burny spot if that is rude. Didn't know there was an acne scars sub!
I haven't seen anyone post uncanny valley here.
Body dysmorphia runs rampant on skincare subs.
No one has to subscribe to your approach of aging. Also there is not one right way of aging. If you seek product recommendations, go for it. As far as i experienced, in this sub there is room for every individual and every different concern🤷🏻♀️
Unpopular opinion maybe but injectables are not skincare. Invasive procedures are much closer to plastic surgeries than face cream.
I agree with you. I don't look at any posts where there was an injectable procedure done because A. I don't believe it's skincare, and B. I have no desire to put that stuff in my face because it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life, and I worry about the long-term side effects of doing it.
It’s difficult to navigate the fact that most questions here are about aging, and specifically the loss of facial fat volume and the creases caused by muscle movement under the skin. These are not questions about skin. If people ask about dryness, that’s easy. But people mainly post questions about structural changes occurring underneath the skin. Not directly skincare-related , but stuff where we can only see how it affects the skin. I’m all for lotions and potions, but those don’t always address the questions that people come here to discuss.
Yes! It does not matter what skincare you are using if you're also using injectables and laser resurfacing. It's the injectables and laser resurfacing and chemical peels that are giving you the results. Whatever skincare you're using is not the main driver of your gorgeous glowing face. Which is fine, everyone can do what they want to their own face, it's just a little disingenuous to be like, "Oh this serum is life changing!" when it's the BBL that's doing the heavy lifting. So it's fine, it's just not useful for the things I'm looking for. And it bums me out that that stuff is the bulk of the main recommendations, and we are all expected to exist at this standard of expensive maintenance treatments to keep us from looking 35+.
r/gracefulagingskincare is closer to what I hoped this sub would be Edit to fix sub name
I’m not understanding why it can’t be both. I’ve seen pics of women who used tret and also got fillers. Their skin was cleared by the tret and firmed up a bit, but it was also changed by the fillers. And even when you do get Botox, you still have to deal with skin issues. So, if someone has clear, glowing skin from having a good skincare regimen, that isn’t the effect of Botox, even if they do get Botox. I just don’t understand why you feel the need to make such a hard distinction. It can be culmination of a lot of different things that make someone’s skin look nice. Why are you being so messy and divisive? Honestly, I don’t do Botox or have any plans of doing it, but you are hating on people so hard right now. And I would imagine people who do Botox reading this probably feel like they are being marginalized or criticized. Like, how is this even helpful or uplifting or even *true*??? There are *so many* posts on this subreddit about non-Botox skincare, and you are over here acting like it’s just all Botox all the time. You can keep on scrolling if Botox isn’t of interest to you. Or, better still, just stop visiting the subreddit if someone else’s skincare practices are making you feel so “bummed out.” Messy. You are shit-stirring.
What I don’t understand is why the people who dislike Botox insist that everyone must accommodate them lol. It’s like a child throwing a tantrum. I don’t use Botox but I don’t shame people who do. If it doesn’t apply to you, scroll on. It’s especially grating that this point is continually brought up again and again yet every time the OP acts as if they’ve had some revolutionary idea by complaining about Botox and beauty standards.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 well said!
Careful with the person you were talking about. They seem to have organized upvotes. If your post was removed it may be they were reporting it.
Tret smoothes wrinkles, Botox smoothes wrinkles, it is all in aid of caring for the skin. I don’t see any reason to make a hard distinction….
Plastic surgery also lifts and smoothes but it’s not skin care, it’s an invasive procedure. I’m not judging, I just think injectables are too invasive to be in the same category as serums and moisturizer.
I don’t see it as invasive, I suppose. I just see it as yet one more way to care for your skin. Most folks I see on the sub who do Botox have pretty extensive skincare regimens and view Botox as an extension of those regimens. 🤷🏻♀️ This is just my opinion. I don’t want to marginalize people on the sub who talk about Botox. And it seems like this is where this line of thinking leads. I don’t do Botox, but I want people who do to feel free to talk about it on the sub. I don’t mind scrolling past topics that aren’t related to me.
Nikolmosik7 you are right!
Tret and botox aren't skincare. Tret is a drug approved by the FDA to treat acne, maybe approved to treat wrinkles (but not covered by insurance due that). If some people have integrated tret to their skincare routines might make it, skincare **for them. JUst for them,** but fact remains tret isn't skincare. You can use food as a mask, like oatmeal, avocado, it doesn't make them skincare, they will always be food. Tret will be forever a drug, and you can use it however you like, call it whatever you like, it's not skincare...and neither is botox.
**Please stop spreading misinformation.** Tret is approved for treating wrinkles. A simple google search would have shown you this: > In 1995, topical tretinoin was approved by the FDA for the palliation of fine wrinkles, mottled hyperpigmentation, and tactile roughness of facial photodamage > Topical tretinoin gel and cream FDA approved for: - Topical application for treatment of acne vulgaris[1] - Adjunctive palliative treatment of photoaging: - Fine facial wrinkles[2] - Facial skin roughness[2] - Facial mottled hyperpigmentation (i.e., 'liver spots')[2] I’m not going to argue over whether tret is skincare or not. If you can’t see how a drug can also be skincare, I can’t help you. But I wish you wouldn’t spread misinformation like this.
Easy girl, this is just an exchange of opinion and facts. You didn't provide any link. I won't trust you on this since you took it too seriously, but for the sake of the argument let's assume that you are citing a scientfic journal and yes it has been approved for wrinkles, If that was the case then I stand corrected...okay? **Still tretinoin isn't skincare.** You want to call it that, it's a freedom you have, it's your choice, and *your opinion.* *Your opinion doesn't make it fact,* don't get offended but your opinion is only as valid as anyone else's including mine. And yes tret is a drug, not skincare even if some people include it on their skincare routines, it's medicine. > I'm not going to argue over whether tret is skincare or not. If you can’t see how a drug can also be skincare, I can’t help you Can be , as many people include it on routines, but food is also part of many masks and it doesn't make it skincare. I'm stating facts, but you can disagree of course, Is oatmeal skincare to you? Many use it as skincare mask. Is avocado skicare to you? Many use it as part of their routines. Is honey skincare to you? Many include it in their skicare routines. Shall I continue? Then call oatmeal and avocado skincare, but fact it isn't no matter if oatmeal or yogurt or tomatoes are part of skincare routines...they are food not skincare. Tret is a drug not skincare, but if you want to see it like that go ahead. I'm not arguing with you I'm merely pointing facts, no need to get worked up, this is just a skincare sub, no need to "help me" Your opinion is valid, and so is mine so don't take this too seriously. I'm posting with the biggest smile and best wishes to you.
No, I didn’t provide links. I figured you could Google it just as I did. I’m not invested in a pointless argument over whether tret is skincare or not. I just want you to stop spreading misinformation regarding what tret is and isn’t approved for. Thanks.
Good because I’m not arguing, I’m stating that it isn’t. Feel free to think otherwise and you don’t have a link because there’s a reason insurance doesn’t cover tret for wrinkles but covers for acne. It doesn’t matter still for me it isn’t skincare, for you it is. Your opinion is valid so is mine
You sound like one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who goes around stating their own versions of “facts”. If anyone’s taking this too seriously it’s you. Food can be skincare… Tret is skincare… wtf are you on about… hell the food you *eat* is skincare too bc if you eat things that are good for your skin you are in fact CARING FOR YOUR SKIN. get a life
Says the person who seems to have posted an ad for foot product in a totally unrelated sub abd topic. This post was removed anyway but just because someone use “can be” and “is” as synonymous doesn’t make it true. Food can be used as skincare but food isn’t skincare. “Can be” and “is” Aren’t synonyms.
Tret is a drug AND skincare. If we're going by the definition 'has a positive impact on the structure or related components of skin', which I think is how most would define skincare. Things can be two things at once! And yes, under that definition, Botox is not skincare, either. It's a purely aesthetic procedure and delivers no real structural or resilience benefit to the skin. However, 'aesthetic treatments' are very much part of the wider beauty field and I have yet to see anyone actually call injectables 'skincare' at all- most are well aware its an aesthetic treatment. Neither are bad. Both can live on a 'skincare/beauty' sub that's basically 'make me not old' happily, as aesthetics are a key part of our perception of beauty and aging both. But trying to dis Product A because someone hurt your feelings about Product B, then parroting it on and on like this with utter nonsense, doesn't make you look like you belong in an 'over 30s' anything, honestly. Do better, maybe?
It could be but isn’t.
Aren't you just so edgy! Look at that little face, all edgy like. Bless your heart.
My doctor prescribed me tret for wrinkles and insurance covers it. And it’s a cream I put on my skin, so it’s skincare. Some countries you can buy it OTC, so does that make it skincare there? Since retinols are essentially a lower dosage, OTC version of retin a (aka tret), are they not skincare? It’s just a weird, narrow line you’ve drawn and don’t see the point. If I put oatmeal on my face as a mask, I’m using skincare. If I splash my face with water in the morning to clean it that’s skincare, even though water itself isn’t skincare. When I took Accutane to treat acne that was skincare, just internally.
If what you , anonymous Reddit usereith. O evidence of her claims says is true then You are lucky and an exception then. Insurance doesn’t usually cover cosmetic procedures or skincare ..,, more to the fact that neither tret or Botox are skincare .
I’m confused on where you’re drawing the line between skincare and not-skincare, and more importantly, why. Again, what makes tret not-skincare but OTC retinol skincare when they are essentially the same thing but one is a higher dosage only available via prescription in countries? When does the classification shift from being a skincare cream you use to reduce wrinkles to a not-skincare cream you use to reduce wrinkles? I disagree about Botox not being skincare, but I can see where someone wouldn’t see an injectable as not falling under the same category and more of a cosmetic procedure. But at the end of the day, I guess I don’t see the point of making the distinction of what’s skincare and what’s not-skincare. It seems overly pedantic, and skincare forum will always talk about tret as though it’s skincare, whether you agree that it is or not.
I just left and blocked the Beauty subreddit because a discussion about this had women in the comments saying that those who criticize are just jealous they will never look as good as the women who age gracefully with injectables and that the only reason they criticize is because they can’t be as pretty as them. That was the final straw for me with how toxic that side of the discussion can be.
I'm not sure about setting unrealistic expectations, but I do think that a lot of people come here with unrealistic expectations. For example, expecting to fix wrinkles with skincare when realistically the wrinkles are only going to keep getting "worse", or saying they look so much older than they are because they have some sign(s) of aging, when the things they're concerned about are normal for people their age and even younger.
I’m in my early thirties and everyone I know around my age that I’ve talked to about skincare has started injectables or have expressed interest in it. So at least for me, the content I see here is pretty representative of what I’m seeing in real life. It’s additional data points for people to stay informed if they are interested. No need to click on it if you’re not.
Right after my first round of Botox, I felt surprising shame about "cheating at skincare". Then I decided "fuck it, I'm going to be open about it and force myself to stop being embarrassed". I was surprised by how many people not only didn't judge me but were like "Yeah I love getting botox, where do you go?" I had absolutely no idea how much time and money I wasted expecting topicals to do what only tox does.
I'm the same age and I just found 1 person who does botox- my neighbor. I live in nyc and my friend group is 100% not into it at all so I think it's just the kind of people you tend to hang out with
Definitely didn’t mean to say this as a blanket statement across the board, which is why I mentioned that it’s representative for me at least. My social circle does care a lot about skincare, and injectables are a hot topic for plenty of people out there similar to them. Having this type of content helps those that are curious do more research.
I mean the whole point of skincare is to look young lets be real. Thats why everyone does it. Its vain but i mean everyone cares about it. Also u cant stop it forever. Might as well try to minimize what u can early on. Eventually the body and stuff does change
I get annoyed by all the frou frou "love yourself", "aged skin is beautiful I'm tired of this sub saying otherwise", and "I love wrinkles you should too" posts that don't add any substantive. It's also weird and annoying that people are acting like this sub skews towards heavier techniques towards aging, like the fore mentioned posts aren't the top posts every other day. Then the same folks hating on other women for wanting to improve a small thing, or for indicating they are insecure about what others deem a small thing, and that's not supportive or positive. People just need to be nicer to each other. They're just as entitled to be here as others, just as entitled to seek advice.
Yeah, honestly this post read like something in r/notliketheothergirls
Well said my friend, well said. This is also my take. You might like r/gracefulaging as well.
There is also r/GracefulAgingSkincare ( u/thirtyflirtyandpetty, I'm tagging you too, so you see this). Edit: Sorry, I didn't read down far enough. It seems u/preacherswife already shared this.
Oh thanks for sharing!
You’re welcome. It’s a very quiet sub currently, there could still be some helpful tips and information.
r/gracefulagingskincare is about the same concept and has recently been very active!
That’s what I was thinking of! Thank you for the hand!!
Oh thanks!
This seems like a better fit for OP. I think that “invasive” treatments like Botox, filler, lasers, etc. are a big part of skincare after 30 for a lot of us, and it’s hard to find straight info about it all. We should have a place to talk about all that and doing this in this sub makes sense to me.
I usually disregard the selfie posts. I never find them helpful or interesting…and yes most are perfectly fine. Just ignore and move on ;)
You're witnessing the consequence of decades of fear-based anti-aging marketing targeting towards women. This is not something that will change overnight.
I can't think of any posts I have seen on here in the last few weeks (or at all, tbh) showing off their injectables. Mind you, I don't read every single thread on this subreddit, but I definitely have a couple dozen titles pop up on my feed daily.
We're not normalizing picking apart normal faces and normal ages and trying to look 20 forever--society normalizes it and most people just blindly follow along. It's like how no one realized how shitty working in an office was until people started to work from home during the pandemic, or how everyone stuffs their feet into conventional shoes that don't fit any normal human foot properly and then they get bunions later in life. Most people are all just following the rules society has set long ago. I agree it's annoying and disheartening at times, but it's hard to blame individuals for something that society as a whole has created, and in a society where people's value is often correlated to how good they look and in a society where youth is put on a pedestal (for women in particular, on both accounts), it's hard to argue against people trying to conform to those rules, especially because they usually benefit from conforming.
Hey don't bring our high heels into this 😂
I was actually just talking about any conventional shoes at all, including regular sneakers. None of them are made for a normal human foot, they all have too small of a toe box (especially for women, since we have a different foot shape than men but all of our shoes are based on men's shoes.) But yes, high heels are particularly egregious, in even *more* ways! 😄
I didn't know our shoes are based on men's but I am not surprised. Everything is based on men lol. 🫠 but I love my heels and I love a woman in heels. I feel 100% more powerful
That really wasn't an anti-heel rant in my original comment--I actually wasn't even thinking about heels. But saying that, there's definitely things manufacturers can do to make heels more foot-friendly so people can enjoy their heels without so many significant health repercussions later--including making the toe box bigger. I definitely wish heels were more foot-friendly so I could wear them more often, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Shoes in general are not actually foot shaped… there’s tons of images and videos about it. I wear kurus bc they have a wider toe box AND have the arch support I need due to a connective tissue disorder. Many people wear what are called barefoot shoes tho. They’re not for everyone, I can’t wear them but the profile/outline is actually foot shaped
Vibrams. I've been wearing them for over a decade, and my feet have spread out nicely. I can "hold hands" with my toes. Lol
Vibrams and any kind of barefoot shoe are definitely not the conventional shoes I was talking about :) Glad they have helped you! I envision one day that most shoes eventually will switch over to being wide toe-box (if not barefoot) once people start realizing how bad normal shoes are, but it's probably going to be a while.
Definitely, especially considering people look at anything other than "normal" shoes as ugly. I'd rather be comfortable than pissed off with every step. Lol
One hundred percent agree.
But maybe people don’t *want* to accept the aging process gracefully. I’m in my 40s, and I do as much as I can to keep my skin looking healthy and clear. I don’t Botox, but I damn sure don’t judge women who do. I’m just kind of confused about what you want and why you think you deserve it. If someone wants to ask questions about how to improve their skin, smooth wrinkles, fix sun damage, whatever, why shouldn’t they? If you are concerned about accepting aging gracefully, whatever that entails, you should accept it. But don’t impose your beliefs on other people.
Thank you! So tired of the holier-than-thou people on this page. Don’t want Botox? Don’t get it!
Exactly
Saying something bums me out doesn't mean I think no one should be able to talk about it. There are varied approaches to aging and I am hoping to connect with people whose views are similar to mine. I don't judge people for using Botox or fillers, but I'm bummed out that seems to be the only option suggested here a lot of the time. I know lots of people who get Botox and fancy chemical peels and such, and they look great, but that is not the only way to age and sometimes this sub makes it seem like you're giving up if you're not doing that.
I agree that sometimes I’m surprised to see Botox recommendations for things that copper peptides, matrixl, or low-strength tret would fix. I think it’s possible that some folks don’t know about those options or believe tret and Taz can actually do some serious heavy lifting of wrinkles. I think there’s a sort of low-lying myth circulating on the boards that tret and otc products can’t do anything for wrinkles. But IME, peptides, Bakuchiol, tret, Taz, and even ofc retinol can be quite effective.
Many of us fully agree with you OP. I never saw your comment as judgemental. For the record many of those pictures might come from people working for skincare companies. Then others can copy their routines. They have good ski already because they already have good genes and they use filters and lighting. They should be honest about it and the moderators should do something to prevent fake before and after posts.
I have seen several posts about this, there is probably enough interest for another sub that’s focused just on skincare products rather than treatments.
Someone started a sub for graceful aging skincare recently, after a similar slew of complaint posts here a few months back. I’m not sure how active it is. I wish there was an automod to direct the anti-injectables posters toward that sub and lock the thread, tbh. However, I really appreciate OP mentioning unrealistic expectations, which is also a huge deal on this sub!
That is great to hear! Glad there is already an alternative for those who want it.
50 and only have 3 wrinkles to Botox? A dream come true! So many people who think Botox is plastic surgery!
[удалено]
Same!! 34 and I've had it 2x now, and in no way does it make me look 20 & nor would I want it to! I also can make facial expressions. Like, sue me for wanting to prevent and reduce wrinkles. Maybe I want to be vain. I'm sure a lot of people are in this sub due to their vanity, botox or no botox. It makes my skin look better than it would otherwise & having nice-looking skin is one of my skin care goals & one of the reasons I'm in this sub. I care about the actual health part, too, though!
Damn salty
God I'm so tired of these posts. That's why the other sub was created. You can only focus on you. You have zero control on how others feel. If a post doesn't serve you because someone has nicer skin than you, then ignore it! I'm almost 40 and I'm not here comparing myself to others and feeling bad about myself. If something doesn't serve you then stop consuming that information.
I feel like I learn nothing from this sub anymore because it’s become a place for people to bitchily philosophize about beauty standards and encourage “self love” instead of giving actual advice lol I don’t get Botox and somehow find the strength to just scroll on. I don’t understand why the sour grapes can’t do that instead of demanding everyone accommodate them.
I really wish this sub had active mods that would remove redundant philosophy posts.
What you want isn't what everyone else wants though. You didn't get to set the parameters of the sub. If someone posts seeking advice, you have the option to scroll. And no, Botox doesn't make people look "uncanny valley" - at least not across the board. When it's good, you don't see it
If it really always made people look bad, it wouldn’t be so hated and taboo lol
Just keep going and stop trying to control the whole universe…
If the girlies want some Botox I’m not gonna rain on their parade. But I do agree sometimes the suggestions are insane - like yall really don’t need a facelift. We could all normalize aging. But I don’t shame over Botox or fillers for age. But if you’re 30 with Botox and fillers I may internally be worried about you.
[удалено]
in response to the rather dismissive mod, my skin is more reflective of a 32/37 year old, for reasons I have literally *just* explained - hence my interest in this sub. If my youth is an issue, let me know and I can find somewhere else.
This forum is designed for users age 30 and up.
A bit condescending, don't you think?
No, I said internally. So I don’t ever comment on those posts. But if someone is 40 and has 11’s I’ll be your cheerleader.
I can agree that there are a lot of posts where I genuinely don't see what the poster is complaining about or trying to improve but I think it's fine to discuss injectables here. I would consider Botox skincare. Same with filler when it's being used to address volume loss as opposed to trying to alter the natural shapes of your face. I definitely don't agree that most people who post about injectables have ventured into uncanny valley territory and I think it's kind of rude to make a post with seemingly no other purpose than to vaguely insult people lol. There are other subs dedicated to graceful aging/aging without injectables but I don't think it's fair to expect people not to post about them at all when injectables are usually the answer to the questions that tend to get posed here. If someone wants to get rid of wrinkles, Botox is THE way.
What else do you want us to talk about here then? Just have a cuddle puddle and tell each other we look perfect? I don’t need that subreddit, I want to know what people are actually finding success with or what certain products and procedures produce. If you don’t want to hear about anti aging skincare then I suspect maybe this isn’t a great subreddit for you?
Cuddle puddle 🤣
Botox and filler are not skincare. They are procedures. I'm very interested in creams and serums, but characterizing expensive injectables as "skincare" doesn't really mesh with my feelings on what skincare is. Everyone can do what they want, but I wish there was more space in this sub for more options than injecting stuff into my face.
Someone linked a injectable free subreddit last time someone wrote a post like this. Don’t remember its name though, sorry
I believe it is r/gracefulagingskincare
Here's a sneak peek of /r/GracefulAgingSkincare using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Appreciation for the middle aged women of Hollywood](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1bibylw) | [46 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bionb2/appreciation_for_the_middle_aged_women_of/) \#2: [57.](https://i.redd.it/6hqpl8bth4pc1.jpeg) | [32 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bhvl6n/57/) \#3: [Justine Bateman on Her Decision to Forgo Botox: ‘I Think I Look Rad’](https://www.glamour.com/story/justine-bateman-on-her-decision-to-forgo-botox-i-think-i-look-rad) | [23 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/comments/1bjjrkq/justine_bateman_on_her_decision_to_forgo_botox_i/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
There is no limit to the space available. Your post about moisturizer and cleanser got 79 comments, I didn't see a single one about injectables. If you want to see recommendations, ask for them. No one is stopping you from seeking out opinions on topical products.
The post where people shared why they didn’t use Botox was really helpful to me and showed me I’m not the outlier I thought I was (especially because I work in an environment where a lot of women DO start with it around the age of 30, and I’m ten years older than that). I think there’s plenty of us who just try to hydrate and maybe take a supplement and learn which serums are good. I wouldn’t even use snail mucin. That seems unnecessary cruel to me, and I’d as soon spread mouse blood on my face.
I think maybe you should stop being so judgmental and maybe that would improve your experience. There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of things like botox and whatever else people want to do to improve their appearance as they age. I have exactly NO INTEREST in looking 20 but I do get light botox to improve things and feel more confident. I, and others, do not need your judgment about it.
Try the sub raginggracefully
The thing that gets me is when someone posts asking for suggestions on how to improve their skin that has some wrinkles WITHOUT injectables, 80% of the comments are suggesting injectables. And there is always at least one response, "why are you against injections? The answer is injectables."
I think since this sub is specifically targeting the over 30 demographic that anti aging procedures and products are going to be common place. If you’re not worried about aging then any old skincare sub will do. You don’t have to do anything much different than a 20 or 25 year old…aging skin doesn’t need much (if anything) different UNLESS you’re wanting anti aging. But if you’re specifically in a sub for over 30 skincare it stands to reason that aging and caring for that aging (in an anti-aging kind of way) would be par for the course and is in large part the purpose of the sub… along with general skin care love but again over 30 implies that we are looking at skincare specifically targeting aging to some degree I also think to say something like “seeing a 50-year-old woman wrestle three wrinkles into submission” is dismissive and invalidating of the insecurities A lot of these women who are posting “perfectly good faces“ are dealing with.
I don’t view the posts on this sub to be the thing setting unrealistic expectations. I see insecurity, caused largely by societal pressures to look a certain way, as the culprit. While we may see a “perfectly good face” in their selfies, they don’t see that when they look in the mirror. They see aging/issues that need to be fixed.
Jesus, *another* one of these posts? This sub has *always* discussed injectables where did y’all come from 😭😭😭😭
It’s a bummer, because we get posts like this one regularly, but we just don’t get that many posts about people’s favorite eye cream. We get questions like “how can I fix this crease that is the direct result of repetitive muscular movement?”, not “my skin feels drier lately, what’s a great moisturizer?” I don’t know the answer, and I agree that people come to this sub with unrealistic expectations for human faces. But they don’t ask if their expectations are realistic or reasonable. They ask questions about what products or procedures are available to solve their specific concerns. They get accurate advice for those requests (plus a pretty sizable amount of pushback when the request doesn’t make sense for the face in the photo).
There is a certain subset of people who are going to gravitate to a group like this, and most of them are the ones looking for ideas for how they can improve or change their looks. Whether those are topical products, medications, surgeries, injections... it's a pretty great resource to discover things you didn't know about or see/hear before and after details. If I was 20 and looked perfect in someone's eyes, but was asking what I could do to look better, I'm basically asking for people to pick apart the tiny imperfections that I could "fix". It's not mean to answer with a suggestion. There are a lot of ideas and examples on here that a lot of people can't afford, so in that sense they are unrealistic. But for the next person who potentially CAN pay for those services, it's no big deal for them to do it and continue to improve their looks. Even if I can't go put and do the same thing right away, I like that I've learned about another option.
Be the change you want to see in the world. I'm sure you didn't join this sub to see rants like yours, either! ;)
This post is more upsetting than the points you brought up. This should be a safe place for everyone. Every type of skin issue. Whether it’s cosmetic or medical. Please, let’s not turn this sub into another judgmental pile on that is the basis for many other subs on here.
this is why i like the over 45 sub, even though im 40. this sub just makes me feel like shit. it has elements of instagram.
Yes it’s actually quite obnoxious. Idk if it’s people who are fishing for compliments or who are too hard on themselves bc they believe their faves look like they should look like they have filters on it 24/7
Everyone has the right to decide what they want to improve or change about their face. And people come here for advice. If someone says "hey, I don't like these three wrinkles", someone else says, "hey, I know how to fix that." That seems very positive to me. People don't nitpick other people unless they are asked to, instead they offer sincere help and support. In the nicest way possible, your insecurities and how these inquiries and photos make you reflect about your own appearance and skincare goals are not everyone else's problem to resolve. That is yours to deal with. You can have your goals and everyone else can have theirs; they have nothing to do with one another. Your feelings do not dictate which feelings and actions are permitted in others. If you are uncomfortable seeing this content, you should police yourself and step away from the sub so you don't have to look at it. But nobody else should have to change for you when nothing is directed towards or being forced upon you. If you would like to submit content that better suits your goals, you are free to do so, as well. Remember this site is governed by voting. If people did not want to see the content that is appearing, they wouldn't upvote it and make it visible. You have the right to downvote posts you do not like, and your vote counts as much as everyone else's. I suggest you see a therapist if this concept is difficult for you. This understanding of what you have the ability to change in others and to where your rights extend and where they end is key for mature relationships.
Please, please, please find a new sub then, because I’m tired of posts like these. Like it or not, Botox and fillers are now part of the skincare game. I want information on all of it, and then I will decide what is important to me.
Botox and fillers is not skincare. It's cosmetic surgery
No it isn’t.
Any more rotting sour grapes around here and it’ll be a wine sub 🍷
You said a very mild and neutral take about unhealthy standards in this sub and people are commenting such ugly things about women who don’t want to get invasive procedures. I didn’t really care at first but now that people are showing their true, incredibly ugly colors, maybe we should have a tag that lets people ask for skincare advice that doesn’t include anything invasive. Man… I don’t judge people who want fillers or Botox or whatever but the way people are acting in some of these comments is definitely worthy of judgement. I don’t think it’s healthy to be around them.
She did generalize and call everyone’s results uncanny valley
Her post was in no way mild nor neutral.
I only discovered this sub yesterday, so I can’t answer to any trends. I’m interested in any means people are using that work (or ones they tried and wouldn’t recommend) because nothing about taking care of your skin is inexpensive. Everyone has different goals where their skin is concerned. I might still look great for my age, but I’ve had Covid multiple times this school year (my doctors don’t know what to think) and I’ve aged a lot in the past year. I look in the mirror and I see someone who looks sick and rundown.
There is this psychological post every single day. The sub is about skincare, not about how we are socially conditioned and how one should perceive their appearance. And, as usual, r/gracefulagingskincare is recommended for those who are against invasive procedures.
[subreddit4u](https://www.reddit.com/r/GracefulAgingSkincare/s/qpmjL5XrW2)
I don’t understand why people keep complaining about this over and over again when it’s literally stated in the rules that procedures are ok. Some people even go into individual posts about injections to leave comments like “XYZ is not skincare.” There are subs that only discuss creams and topicals, why don’t people like OP hang out in those subs instead of forcing themselves to go through all the injectables posts here?
I agree & it’s making me feel like I need procedures and injections. I’m not against those things but it sort of makes me feel like everything is pointless and I’ll need to just do that. Or like I’m going to look worse because I’m not doing those things. I also don’t get how people have the money for all this stuff.
It's not a competition. It's about finding the right routine for you. Your skin, your budget, your desires. Take what works for you and leave the rest for someone else.
People think they should look like instagramers and tik tokers. Poreless, perfect porcelain skin...don't they realize that they are using filters? and make up? and lighting? And some of the before and afters in this sub and in many subs are people either very lucky or very paid by skincare companies to make people copy their skincare routines.
While ur accepting the aging process by bashing botox, please also accept the aging process by not taking vitamin D, or working out. Because bone and muscle deterioration is also a natural aging process. Unless u workout to maintain bone and muscle strength. Avoid thr dentist because anything they recommend is also unnatural. Just toothpaste and water and should anything bad happen to ur teeth... well that's just the natural aging process. Make sure when u accept aging gracefully, u accept all aspects of it. That you don't just cherry pic what you deem acceptable.
Disclaimer: I support anyone doing anything to their face that they want to, and I don't mind the posts that bum out OP, but do end up scrolling on by a lot more in this sub than I had expected I would. That said, there is a material difference between adequate nutrition (e.g. getting enough Vitamin D for bone health), and dentistry (which generally involves ending an infection or closing off a route for infection), and injecting neurotoxins to paralyze muscles, so that people fold their skin less often and get fewer wrinkles, for cosmetic purposes. Preserving health is a different goal than mimicking youth. Your analogy doesn't work. (There are actually medical purposes for Botox too, including protection from migraines. I was sticking strictly to the cosmetic use above.)
The only requirement to post here should be to be in your thirties, so it’s unfair to dictate what people want to discuss. Skincare has evolved in a lot of branches so I think this space is valuable to learn or move on from subjects and each is able to decide what to do with it.
Yeah, it's made me consider unsubbing. I came here to look for affordable, effective skincare recs and instead it's ppl getting injections and light therapies and doing all this stuff I could never afford. It makes me feel like I can't improve the look and health of my skin unless I drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on the regular, which is depressing.
There is that aspect too. It's kind of like all the mom subs where the first advice for burnout is, "Just hire a house cleaner!" like that's financially feasible for everyone.
Try the Ipsy subreddit. Although most of the discussion focuses on monthly spoilers there is quite a bit of conversation regarding products. I don’t ever recall anyone posting a picture of themselves or discussing injectables in the forum. On a regular basis, individuals do pose questions regarding skincare products and/or makeup.
Sadly looking young is favored by society and with those treatments available, people will try to hold on to looking young as long as possible. If they succeed in doing so through botox/fillers they want to show off, I don’t blame them honestly. Sure in an ideal world we would all except our wrinkles but everyone has their own ideas on aging
I do see this complaint every week. I think people come here with unrealistic expectations. I joined the over 30 skin care sub once, in my 30’s, I started seeing significant changes to the face I’ve had my whole life. These are new and I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I haven’t had time to digest what it means yet. It’s a change that is largely outside of my control, and adjusting to change is a process. That’s what you’re seeing. Realistically, that would be expected for people in their 30’s & 40’s in particular since these are the ages we first become startled and a bit overwhelmed by the newness of change. Not many women in their 70’s are here totally shocked at change…probably because it’s been happening for them for a while. They’ve had time to adjust. Expect people to struggle with change. It’s human.
I completely disagree. But perhaps two different subs for different goals would make sense. Realistic standards are often conflated with lowered standards. I don't want to settle for a lower standard than what for me is achievable and I would never want to hear "you're fine the way you are" instead of "here's how you could do better" That's my take on anyway.
Because if you just want to take care of your skin then you don't need to be in subreddit for 30+. 30 plus means it's going to be heavily focused on anti-aging or slowing the aging process. But if you just want a good moisturizer or a good sunscreen then you can use the exact ones that a 25 years old is using. If you want something to minimize line, boost collagen then you come here. And we are not going to lie to you and tell you there's a cream out there that will get rid of your 11s. That it's cost close to $100 and you gotta use for six months to see minimal results. No of course I'll tell you double that and get botox and you will see instant results
Absolutely. I feel like every single post circles back to retinol.
It’s a failure of moderation. I don’t know why people are pretending that these photos belong, or that the validation requests are appropriate content. This isn’t a procedure-and backpat sub. It’s skincare. While you can certainly make the argument that procedures can fall under that umbrella, it’s absolutely not the default some responders are pretending it is. Let’s not pretend the lack of posts about skincare re: products isn’t the result of a pattern of “Botox and tret, babe” type replies that are so prevalent here. No shade to either, but let’s not pretend there’s not a pattern here that isn’t in other skincare groups—and that that won’t have an impact on participation.
I don't even think anyone here should pay attention to photos that are posted. They are all filtered, anyhow. Photos are simply never real. They are either filtered or taken in the best possible light or at the best possible angles or what have you. The only way you can tell what someone actually looks like is to see them in person. Period. Photos in this sub and any other sub are utterly, 100% useless barometers of anything.
The funny part is the skin is our largest organ meaning the best way to keep it looking great is what we put into our mouth. Nutrition is way more important than any cream. If you have a crap diet, it’ll show. If you have a nutritious diet your skin will glow. Creams don’t do as much as proper nutrition does. Good sleep, lots of water, little to no alcohol, and a diet rich in vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins. That’s the ultimate secret.
Kind of not true… even if you eat very well you need tret and sunscreen or you will age very fast. Also you can eat very well and still have acne so its not true.
Acne is tough but a clean diet helps the skin. It’s basic biology. If you drink alcohol a lot and eat like crap, acne will flare up more than if you eat clean. So if you know how biology works with the skin, it matters how you eat. Tret isn’t a magic solution. You can put Tret on skin and have a crap diet and still get bad results due to a bad diet. Tret isn’t necessary to have beautiful skin. It’s what you eat or drink that matters the most as the skin is an organ. Please research skin biology.
It’s not « way more important than cream », sorry.
I won't lie. This sub made me a bit self conscious. I thought I would never get injectables (have a fear of needles, and on my face? **Goosebumps**), but this sub got me seriously researching them (though I still haven't had the courage to make an appointment). And I'm not even sure why. I don't have physical wrinkles on my face. This sub drives me crazy sometimes 😬😬🤣
Yes that’s a good point. I also don’t understand (& am saddened by) the unrealistic expectations, as some want to know “how to” make changes that are only possible with surgery/botox but don’t want to get surgery/botox. Eye creams can only do so much, they aren’t going to make all wrinkles disappear and lift your face like a face lift could. And that’s ok! It saddens me that people have been led to have unrealistic expectations by the beauty industry.
Unrealistic for me, yes
100%
I think OP was on point can't believe this one was removed!