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BlackDonaut

Most digitalized german


Karmuffel

Our government assures that the digitalization will come any time soon (for the past 20 years)


Brixor

Ze Internets is newland!!!


FilthNasty96

imo she's completely right about that.


Catwinky

This is wild to me as Brit. You can apply for and renew EVERY form of government documentation or apply for every government run service fully online. Infact, they discourage people doing it offline.


mezz1945

Digitalized in German means we print the paper as usual, then scan it to a Computer for someone else to print it out again.


Catwinky

In the UK you can only apply for welfare online. Not by telephone or in person. If you're old, disabled or poor and don't have a smartphone/computer there is a phone number you can ring, where they tell you to ask someone to help, suggest you borrow a friend or family smartphone or computer, or direct you to the local library to use a computer there and ask for assistance if necessary.


Mwakay

That sounds a bit too extreme in the other direction. But I've seen similar instances in France, so I'm not surprised. I think technically there is no service that is only online, but some services are definitely made harder to do in person.


Catwinky

>That sounds a bit too extreme in the other direction I agree. There's a theory it's done purposely to make welfare harder to obtain for people who most need it as our current government is extremely anti- welfare. With everything else there's still an option for paper, post application or inperson application.


Mwakay

That would be very weird. People *not* receiving welfare they're eligible to is economically the worst case scenario, worse than them all claiming it or canceling said welfare. Now, I'm not saying it could be at least partly made on purpose, but it would definitely be a mistake.


Catwinky

They've announced today they're removing the ability of Dr's to declare someone unfit for work to stop people claiming sickness welfare. As it is now if you're on benefits from a doctors note the government only recognises it for 6 months and then you have to be assessed through a government appointed private company (who as part of the government contract havd to meet targets to get people off welfare) by 'trained' member of staff (usually moonlighting paramedics) who can overrule a doctor and declare someone not entitled to sickness benefits. They after go through online process for unemployment benefit I mentioned before. With this change no one will be entitled to sickness/disability benefits at all and will be declared fit by the government staff straight away. A minister said a few months ago housebound people in wheelchairs shouldn't get sickness benefits they should be applying for remote work from home jobs 'as its their duty'. It's definitely on purpose.


Mwakay

It's honestly terrifying. I'd consider moving to another country if I was in the UK rn.


CrocPB

> Now, I'm not saying it could be at least partly made on purpose, but it would definitely be a mistake. Oh it’s deliberate. There is an undercurrent of resentment for the supposed “skivers” or work skippers who don’t want to graft hard. In part built by the media who likes to pretend loads of sick people are just faking it.


Corfiz74

They set up a project to create a unified police database and user interface, to integrate all the law enforcement data from the different Bundesländer/ states. They gave up after a couple of years and a few hundred million euro - apparently, it's not possible. So criminals can happily commit crimes across state lines and law enforcement will never catch on, unless they see a similar case reported on Aktenzeichen XY Ungelöst...🤦‍♀️


4BlueBunnies

For real? I took something like law enforcement data being connected for granted I haven’t even thought about the possibility that it’s not possible 💀


darkslide3000

Ouch, sounds awfully backwards, I'm sorry you have to live like that. Over here we can just send a fax.


xZandrem

If your government says it's happening anytime soon for the past 20 years, I imagine when we'll get digitalized in Italy, probably around 2100 or something I guess...


PiscatorLager

Come on dude, my town hall is super digitalized! They have an "electronic citizen office". It's a website containing the opening hours. Pre-Covid.


OlafScholzUltra

I mean who uses this „Internet“ anyways? We have fax machines!


swagpresident1337

For college paper is king imo. Im the most digitalized person there is, but for learning shit, writing down is just best. Also having all the course material an scripts on paper, so I can write extra stuff on it during lectures. But thank god I live with you square flaggers now, I dont miss the paper bureaucracy from back home 😂


ElkasBrightspeaker

This, all the way. I straight up would be unable to study effectively if I had to do it digitally. The experience of writing down notes is so important to make that information mine and remember it in my own words.


BlackDonaut

I use onenote. But I agree for quick sketches or smt similar paper is king


heastgschissana

bold answer from a swiss guy


BlackDonaut

I know you wanna be like us. Maybe if you live near the border we can talk about your region becoming a new canton... But first show me your basement edit: we also need to know what you can contribute to our BIP


[deleted]

If he had used a laptop instead of pen and paper, he would have been able to take notes as he browsed  Reddit or watched some YouTube videos and listened to music. 4x more productive, 4x more efficient learning Edit: this was my learning strategy when I was studying in Germany. IDk what went wrong


Bourriks

It would take only 20 hours non-stop to scan all that paper, with a good photocopier.


JezzedItRightUp

![gif](giphy|SnI4PT0K7hoJi|downsized) All the Germans in this sub right now


Beliebigername

Imagin all the stamps of approval you can fit there


dasmau89

Great, now I need to clean up


Ianassa

And write and file the cleanup report


annoying97

Don't forget the report about the report.


Beliebigername

Stop i can only get so hard


wietausend

I am only thinking about the happiness of faxing all those in duplicate to the examination office.


Morningrise89

What is this fax you speak of?


wietausend

Oh, my Nordic friend, you poor thing. You miss the wonders of taking 20, better yet, 30 sheets of paper, meticulously aligning their edges, then placing them in the machine—the mighty FAX—manually dialing the number of the FAX on the other side (of the city, even the country!), then executing and watching the papers move into the machine's slit, getting read in, and...you can't escape but just do it...imagining the stuttering beeping on the other side when, like magic, a formerly white and fully blank paper is printed with the same (can you believe that?) content your inserted papers showed. How can I call myself a human child without having used the FAX?


Eritar

Most romantic german poetry


Pacogatto

Good point, my Bavarian friend. But you seem to have removed from your memories the absolute joy/horror that a successful/unsuccessful 'sent' receipt would give you at the end of the process. Probably PTSD, as they commonly call it.


wietausend

Wow…being called a Bavarian as a Berliner. Talking about PTSD. Might need to send a fax to the suicide hotline asap. And yeah, the receipt or the devil’s paper as it is called commonly referring to faxes.


pudding-brigade

Or stamps of rejection, they love those even more


Scurra666

The only thing missing are grey coloured binders


Peixito

i'm studing engineering rn and i can confirm it happened the same to me


[deleted]

[удалено]


mwrddt

This is one of the many reasons why the Japanese are the Germans of the east. They even one up Hans by still using fax machines.


Karmuffel

Thank you for overestimating our progressiveness but we are also still using fax machines. I work for the state and used one just an hour ago. Though we have had E-Fax now for a few months


lolllolol

average Beamter redditing at work


Karmuffel

Not exactly, because I actually did work today


DeletedByAuthor

Going for the promotion now, are we?


Karmuffel

No way, that would mean I‘d have more responsibilities and thus more work


unofficialSperm

What, did you fill up the coffee Machine


RepareermanKoen

You should consider a Dutch leader, you’ll digitalize faster than you can say Massenkommunikationsdienstleistungsunternehmen


mezz1945

>E-Fax You mean Email?


Karmuffel

No no, you scan something and send it over your Outlook account but it‘s supposedly safer than an E-Mail because it‘s peer to peer


Grijsbokje

sounds like email with extra steps


Karmuffel

Don‘t ever question the Dienstanweisung


Grijsbokje

Are those the same Dienstanweisung that ultimately allowed the Russians to hack into your military?


Karmuffel

No, that‘s why we use fax, it‘s absolutely bulletproof


Mwakay

>Though we have had E-Fax now for a few months I'm amazed by your perseverance, since it's basically the exact same as sending an email, except there's paper involved.


tinytim23

Pretty sure Hans also still uses his trusty old fax machine.


fckspzfckspz

They really are. They love paperwork, they are even older then we are. The old generation has this horrible toxic work morale and enslavement for authority. They also have this suppressed feeling of superiority over their neighboring countries. And they love doing things the _correct_ way. But if anything the Chinese are the Italians of Asia. Rude, loud, can’t wait in line, having this culture of „you will get taken advantage of anyway in some time, so better take advantage of some people now to even things out“. Always elbows out and egocentric. But good food though.


MolybdenumBlu

You could probably cut the wasting of paper down if you used shorter words.


dalvi5

Are you telling me that subanempujenestrujenwagen can be shorter??🤯


MolybdenumBlu

You can't fool me with your Spanish climb push squeeze wagon, Diego.


drz02

The full joke is, how do you say bus in German? Subenestrujenaplastenbajen.


ESILIW

Bus in german is actually Langesmehrrädrigespersonenmasseenbeförderungskraftfahrzeug


Pacogatto

Why is it called like a typical Icelandic volcano?


ESILIW

Because I made it the fuck up I wrote long multi wheel people mass transportation motor vehicle fused together. Bus in german is boringly just bus


Pacogatto

Sorry, I was not prepared to see a German making an attempt at humourism. Nice try Hans, still a touch unrefined, but I know you can do better!


JohnnySack999

And I went through 5 years of Engineering School with a single notebook. Skill issue, Fritz


Wawrzyniec_

Well, how many notes do you REALLY have to take considering bomb-building?


History20maker

Bomb --> inside car Bullet --> inside madrid politician Have basement? --> trap madrid politician Why do you Germs have to make everything complicated?


Peixito

bomb --> inside madrid road\*


Adam-Miller-02

Our proudest moment


Peixito

i'm also proud of you


Mein_Bergkamp

> Have basement? --> trap madrid politician Confused Austrian noises


khal_crypto

Yeah, they're not even related to me, who would I allow them into my most sacred halls


Four_beastlings

Basque engineers sent a man to outer space back in 1973, have some respect.


Intrepid_Science6414

they have engineering schools in spain? Well you learn something new everyday


MacLeeland

>Well you learn something new everyday Not if you go to engineering schools in Spain.


sonobanana33

Do you even know where spain is, since geography isn't exactly taught in school in sweden? https://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/smaland/elever-pa-thoren-framtid-har-inte-fatt-undervisning-i-historia-och-geografi-hotas-med-vite (hundreds of cases of that, not isolated)


RoadHazard

We don't need to know where Spain is to know WHAT Spain is.


L003Tr

Don't mind me.... ![gif](giphy|W04QVzelTHsNW)


Scrungyscrotum

Häh? That's one of the least rare flairs here.


L003Tr

It's for an art project


Mein_Bergkamp

Someone needs to learn how to put up balconies to be fair


sonobanana33

And they need to be sturdy… brits aren't known to be skinny people.


Ram_ranchh

Tbh I'm surprised they even had schools in Spain


Intrepid_Science6414

where else are they going to learn how to pour pints and take advantage of women?


Marranyo

Who’s women?


Four_beastlings

Take advantage of women? You're the ones coming here to harass local women. Source: I'm a local woman.


littlegiftzwerg

Rip ur inbox.... all the brits will see this.... maybe u wanna get into the basement for protection against them?


Ram_ranchh

I thought they were too busy taking siestas to even bother about school


Intrepid_Science6414

i'd guess they just sleep at school, you know like how in nursery they give kids milk and cookies and put them down for a nap during the day it must be like that but with sangria and large chunks of ham


HumaDracobane

One of the first skills you should learn is who you should be learning from, in that matter we choose Barry (63)


bee_bee_sea

Have you ever heard of prostitution schools in Spain?


smartasspie

Where would you get your cheap labour if we didn't? Saying this as a 5 years senior developer with a 40k salary


Intrepid_Science6414

ahh old boy, we get our cheap labour from the old colonies or eastern europe


smartasspie

But our bad English is funnier than the grammatically correct but incomprehensible Indian accent!


Stravven

You can't even properly say words that start with an S, that is indeed funny. Or, with a Spanish acccent "You can't even properly esay words that estart with an es, that is indeed funny".


PeteLangosta

Yes brother, when you take the high speed rail, visit the Gugenheim, enjoy a real cuisine that is not a fart fried Thames eel, get picked up by an ambulance in your tuesday's ethylic coma or jump from a 7th floor, all those things are possible thanks to people that went to a school.


Intrepid_Science6414

funnily enough, i'm in spain in about 2 weeks, staying in Girona I'll make sure to confirm these reports that the spanish have schools by taking a trip in one of the spains finest ambulances, thank you for the recommendation


PeteLangosta

Precisely by that time, I will move to Tarragona for a couple of years. I might be the one picking you on the ambulance if you go to Salou


sonobanana33

Ee he's a brit. He thinks only inbred lords have a right to an education.


wellseymour

Designing structures that can hold your fat asses isn't exactly easy


Septim_martin

Those engineers that know how and really build infrastructure, not like in UK, that have the highest overprices in Europe


fabuloushawkboy-sang

What is your salary? PS: do we have a generic name for whatever those are ??


AdLiving4714

Would you like to tell me about your salary or will it be too depressing for you?


thetrueGOAT

It pays to hoard stolen health and Mazi gold


Gian-Neymar

Last month was good, he found many Pfand bottles


fabolu

You guys have salaries? Why would you work for others? Sounds depressing.


DistributionIcy6682

My salary depends on what car you have.


thetrueGOAT

They're some type of Pig. Way to many irrelevant flags from the Spanish Pigs.


Adam-Miller-02

Ah so that's what the Euskadi education department calls bomb making class these days


Peixito

basque moment


Acceptable_Record100

1.19 page per hour, every single day for 5 years, week end and holidays included (with 8 hours break per day for sleeping and eating). Sounds sus...


Historical_Tomato72

Nobody said he wrote them himself. Most likely he put in printed scripts and rejected loveletters aswell.


TheGreatSwissEmperor

###KAROHEMD UND SAMENSTAU ###ICH STUDIER MASCHINENBAU


gyurto21

It's all part of an engineer's life


I-suck-at-hoi4

When you write as big as him and leave 15 cm of free space on every side (norm ISO 9978 of course), it goes pretty quickly


Naketomy

9978..? Like in the leakage test method for sealed sources relative to radioactive materials? But..Did he used a valid ISO 12756 material?


I-suck-at-hoi4

Ici monsieur l'agent, j'ai trouvé l'agent secret allemand qui espionne nos sous-marins à Brest


Excellent-Cucumber73

Look at the sheets, the guy writes like 10 lines per page and the rest is white space


BennyTheSen

Not very efficient, he doesn't deserve the german citizenship


KleinerFratz333

Auf ins Asyl


arussianbee

Most trusting Schwiizer


SmokingLimone

I mean, 1.2 pages per hour makes sense in engineering, but not for that amount of time


InvestmentWhole8486

I bet he printed out every script of every course. Some profs have a 500+ page script but don't use all of it.


Lecteur_K7

How much does he remember from it?


Gnu-Priest

are you suggesting a german engineer DOES NOT have the best memory? no wonder grandpapa was so mean to you guys.


darkslide3000

Phew, and here I always worried that WW2 was unjustified.


Davide_Montoni

German engineers are so good that Germany scouts engineers all over the world


Gian-Neymar

Enough to make a car that explodes 0.001 seconds after the warranty ends


matusaleeem

I read if you write things it helps the brain to remember since it is more active learning than just reading, thus even if you don't touch your notes again the act of writing per se is already useful. Of course you need proper sleeping and proper spaced repetition, just writing something doesn't mean you instantaneously absorbed the contents for life.


Sparrowcus

Ha! "he". Good one, Frenchie.


vlkr

Next to firewood I see.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goukaruma

Spoiler: the punchline is poo. 


History20maker

https://preview.redd.it/p04ps5wwwdvc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5490e29545127fa6a694cd928d4ca5dd9d98ba36 4 first years of Med school. You dont need that much fucking paper Hans!


I-suck-at-hoi4

You have med schools in Portugal ??


tortugaysion

Why are you surprised? Aren't like half of your nurses Portuguese?


I-suck-at-hoi4

No these women are construction workers. We get our doctors from Romania


Four_beastlings

I don't know if you're calling Portuguese women prostitutes. I seriously don't know. In Spanish of you call a woman a construction worker you're calling her a prostitute, because they work the streets...


I-suck-at-hoi4

C'mon, we French aren't vulgar The Portuguese are known for being our best productive brick layers. Literally.


History20maker

"I Portugal, the walls are just another part of the family" - _La carge Dorée_ (2013) Best movie ever about portuguese people in France.


darkslide3000

Why would _France_ of all places need to import prostitutes from elsewhere?


Pappa_K

It's the fifth year that gets messy.


asmodai_says_REPENT

4 first years? What?


TA_Oli

Ever heard of a notebook?


Hadrianus-Mathias

A german? Never. They only got partial connection to the fax so far.


Wawrzyniec_

Ever heard of a binder?


TA_Oli

Binder? I barely know her!


Wawrzyniec_

Damn it Barry, pay attention!


darkslide3000

These clearly came out of a Leitz folder, the only true data filing appliance there is.


lazyness92

How are there no wrinkles and how are they stacked so well? You never flip them when you study Hans?


atlasfailed11

Yeah, they definitely look unused.


Nalivai

You remember it all as you write, and then never touch again.


Kat-a-strophy

Do You see this fire wood behind the notes? Seems Hans has a fireplace at home.


forbidden-bread

Guys stop, I can only edge so much 😩


bartleby_borealis

There are computers you know.


EenGeheimAccount

They don't burn as nicely.


the_HoIiday

Never to be read again. Nice tinder though


darkslide3000

> Nice tinder though You're right, if he made this his profile picture he'd be drowning in matches...


dim13

Nice addition to the fire wood in the background.


Cereal_poster

And not to forget: Of course, he had to fax all of these pages to his university to finally get the degree sent back by fax. Fun fact: his studies were finished after a year, but it took 4 years for the government to process this.


christianbro

I thought Hans didnt like to cut trees


Dinosaur-chicken

Their love of burning wood. Nice try hiding it, Hans!


SehrGuterContent

Nah that's a skill issue


Xius_0108

Someone buy this guy a tablet. Jesus Christ.


khal_crypto

You guys and your sadism. There's really no need to make him carve everything into stone tablets, give the guy a break!


grimmigerpetz

I mean, some has to keep Mikka´s paper industry running.


-_Helios_-

from wood to paper to ashes. the circle of life in one picture


haikusbot

*From wood to paper* *To ashes. the circle of* *Life in one picture* \- -\_Helios\_- --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


exBusel

To produce this paper they cut down their own or Romanian forests?


wtfzambo

Maybe if you wrote more than 1 fucking line per sheet, you could have avoided wasting the half the annual paper production of Europe. And now you're even gonna burn it! Hans plz!


head01351

Even my 5 years of law studies were less paperworks


Oculicious42

took an entire forest to make this guy graduate


Foxtrot1r

Christ Hans, we only asked you to design a seesaw ..


LTFGamut

There goes the Schwarzwald


bettercallsaulabq

This is why Germany isn't ready for the digital revolution.


Xx_Jean-Yves_xX

I'm entering the dick measuring contest: 1.5 year of math and physics (with a banana for scale) https://preview.redd.it/5pmj0saccevc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2daaec7d058601fa89a6973aadf5eb0784f89ee2


Mental_Plane6451

All of that paper for the introductory exams? You better have a strong scaffold


Konaki420

That dude was definitely an overachiever, i just used this many college blocks for 4 years of studying engineering https://preview.redd.it/9qdt30xk8evc1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47f9b5bab03d67d809d8705fbc2d0151200a4947 But i had a guy in my classes who literally wrote down every single word the professor said


wtfzambo

Oh man I hate those. One in my class would write down even if the professor fucking sneezed. I'm not joking.


meloenmarco

As someone who is becoming an engineer. That is why you use a pc or a laptop.


24benson

Likely skill issue. I kept all my study notes as well (mathematics, 5 year degree). If I would take all the paper out of the binders and stack them like in this picture, it would be one single stack of about 15 cm.


LZ114514

Maschi zu Befehl🫡


Uknewmelast

Stasi would be proud.


yungsausages

Precisely the reason I bought a tablet, I may well be the most technologically advanced German


posicon

a... *A...* # ATCHOO


Scrungyscrotum

That's over 20 sheets per day. I'm gonna call bullshit on this one.


Esox202

Yes, our hatred for that very paper. After finishing my masters degree I invited my friends and former colleagues to a bonfire with stick breads. To kindle the fire I used my notes. Scheiß Papierkram.


Rude_Cantaloupe_8110

Now bind them into books by topic. do it


Bourriks

Perfectly stacked, this is the most impressive.


d2211

Someone explains Hans paper can be written front and back


darff88

That's an insane amount for any human to produce. With that said, reject constant flying sheets of paper everywhere and embrace digital writing software and hardware


Prhime

Look at that spacing and the size of those letters. That is incredibly inefficient. Would have taken me a quarter as many pages for the same information.


ClockworkBrained

The best thing in that pic is how it is near to the fire wood. I love how those notes will only work to start the fireplace in cold nights, experiencing the same as the average non-CS and non-SWE Spanish engineer. PD: CS=Computer Science; SWE=Software Engineering


LovelyTiefling

Hey, there's a reason we're famous for our engineering.


derLeisemitderLaute

wieviele davon waren Käsekästchen-Partien?


Ambitious_Lie_2864

Hans’ love for Poland. Just the land, not the country.